I need some help getting my ex back I didn’t do nothing wrong. She broke up with me for no reason. She tripping because I got dropped off over to the house. She told me to come over there but my car was acting up on me. She knew I had a car and she like you grown as fuck. Why would you get dropped off? She told My cousin to tie his shoes. And my cousin said something back to her, but she was in the wrong. We didn’t do nothing. She started tripping because he dropped me off.
It's a win win process. If they are your person and they come back great, but if they don't come back at least your a better improved person from working on yourself.
Partially agree, but think about it this way, sometimes we do need a wake up call and great amount of pain in order for us to learn and grow, so in a sense it’s the best thing that happens to us.
My ex left me last week. Just to be clear, if they left you over something so minuscule and didn’t even try to work things out, she isn’t meant for you.
I will say sometimes it can be a fear response. Sometime if people are hurt over and over they take the next relationship and promise to themselves to take off as soon as anything bad happens.. sad I know but some of us become hypervigilant in protecting ourselves after a bad relationship help this helps. Hopefully she’ll come around to see things can be worked on if both want to work on it ❤
That's exactly what happened to me, she left me because of something literally minuscule. And when I tried to make it work, she kept holding onto her belief. After one superb year with plenty of unique memories for the both of us. I guess you can never trust people after all
I’ve literally levelled up so much since my break up in February. I’m in the shape of my life and I’m running sub 15 minute 5km’s. I haven’t reached out, I’ve never spoken to her since the day she left. I’ve kept levelling up, I’ve got into phenomenal shape, I have a good haircut now. I have a good career. But she has never contacted me. I haven’t heard a word from her. They don’t return. Just keep working on yourself. Keep up with the self improvement journey. But DON’T expect them to return. Cause it’s a load of sh*t. Just become the best version of yourself and once you’re at that stage, you will stop caring about your ex. Upgrade your ex instead.
Upu said she left in februari.. its june, 4 months is the first start, trust me, she will let you hear something ✌🏻 Afther i broke up with my boyfriend i went back afther 10 months, showed up in the middle of the night! Almost all my relationships (the few i had) all same, sometimes afther 3 months, sometime afther 6 months or almost a year. Trust the proces Love from Amsterdam
Thats true its often a great time to reflect on yourself and improve yourself in every way possible for you not them be comfortable alone @@Wildanimal864.
So this actually happened to me recently. A girl I was seeing for about 2.5 months ended things back in the winter. I went into no contact, and started focusing on myself. I would post stories on social media, and after a while, she was always the first or first few people that would watch them. Always Either way, she unexpectedly called me this past weekend, after a little over 3 months of no contact. I answered, was polite and cordial, and stayed pretty "neutral" Told her it was good to hear from her and I hope she's doing well, but didn't go overboard saying things like I missed her and we should go out for dinner etc etc. I think I'm in a good spot and have a feeling since she opened the lines of communication, she'll reach out again at some point. When this happens, then I will try and take a step forward, maybe asking for an in person meeting or so, but remembering to keep cool and don't seem too "eager" Appreciate the videos, they definitely help out
You'd still accept her after being surely smashed by other dudes when you weren't together? LOL. Use her as a human fleshlight. That is what she is anyways. Never be serious again with an EX.
This is why I don’t believe in that 30, or 60 days of no contact. No contact should be done for as long as it is required. If you really have stuff to work on, it definitely will take longer. Most importantly, attraction needs time to build.
My ex reached out me after 45 days of no contact. We talked for an hour and he asked me if he can call me again and I said ok. I’m still have feelings for him but this time he has to be the one who pursues me because took me 2 months to get better and invested in myself.
It’s been 6 months. I’ve improved myself physically and career-wise, but still not a word from him. I broke no contact a lot before the 6 months, so he probably thinks I’m worthless and that I’ll come crawling back again. But I won’t. I’m 6 months strong and I won’t break that. On social media, he posted something about being lonely a few weeks ago, but I’m taking it to mean nothing. There was another woman involved as well, so maybe he will go to her.
I went through exactly the same situation! I broke no contact twice and it's already been a 6 months but unfortunately in April when I reached out to him, he respond very nice and asked me how I'm I doing and he also said he wasn't mad at me, but his not explain the reason why he blocked me for the first place... However he called me directly and the second time he called me on video to see where he was but I didn't pick up. Now he blocked me again 🙏😭
We stayed in contact since breakup, and he trusts me the most with his house and i still have the keys to his house... then i realized it was holding us from moving on as we still relied on each other emotionally, i slowly backed out,blocked him and he still contacted me,he cares and he answers my calls at first ring....i have now distanced myself physically and online.....if he is serious then God will reunite us at the right time.
I been listening to you for a few months now, and doing everything you said to do and don’t do and it works. We where together for 6 yrs. He broke up with me in back in February and for the last 6 weeks he’s been reaching out on and off through out the week. He wants to start over and work things out, he tells me how he misses me and wish he never left. I will admit 70% of it is the reason it lead to the break. Today I finally said yes to work on rebuilding our relationship after making wait about 6 weeks. I didn’t want to give in that easy even though I wanted to lol honestly I am deeply in love with him, and I didn’t realize how much I was until that day. I was in a relationship for 32 years and we I ended that I used to love that man and I was very easy to walk away. I had family members past away never felt this type of pain. I believe he’s my twin flame we can feel what the other person is feeling and it affects us both it’s like we share the same frequency no lie. Thanks for all your advice I appreciate you and I am sure everyone else does.
Well my ex is Def. Coming back. My partner has told me over and over that no one has compared to me as I have poured time, money, energy, love, commitment etc. My partner has also always been afraid that she is not enough for me.
So simple but work has to be done on oneself,not yo get the Ex I think it's mostly for your own self !Great advice broke down into most simple version 👍🏻👌🏻💫
Recently, I was chasing one girl. I did it wrong obviously. I shouldn't have done it. She played hard to get, and I enjoyed it. However, at one point she acted a certain way, and I didn't like it, so I told her that this is as far as I go. Next morning, she gave a good explanation, and almost convinced me. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, but then I decided to really put it to an end after some consideration next day. There's no contact for around a week, and then, suddenly she texted me and offered something I had always tried to get from her (nothing physical - although it can lead it there). I replied to her next day, and refused softly. The table has turned. I never contact her, and have no planning on doing so. No contact works wonder..
my breakup was in may 2022, since that I changed my life a lot and achieved more than in the last 5 years. My ex showed a lot of signs that he misses me and struggles with the breakup, but no reach out. I am okay with that now.
She cheated and monkey-branched after 7 years together, engaged and I was about to adopt her daughter... I went no contact because I dont want her back, I dont want to be cool with her, I don't even want to know she still exists.
Thank you so much for your education and advices. Most people dont get where you lead us!! When we were so hung up onto getting into no contact at the beginning of breakup to hope to get the ex back. But eventually when we get in NC and work on ourselves most of us moved on because we find self love again and would never wanna put us through the hurt again. Esp if someone leaves us when we are down, why would we want them back! Let them rot
This. All the women always came back, but by that time, I had moved on or was happy being single. At this point of time, I feel hopeless in humanity. I would have never abandoned her when we were 40-50 or went for a younger woman simply because of some "selfish gene". My morality gene is far stronger than the selfish one, and even without that, I do not understand how most humans have no semblance of values or principles.
She was the most hellish yet she's the only one who cared a lot as much as I did. I had to choose between bad and a bit less bad, so I broke up. She begged so much, but I stressed a lot in the relationship so I didn't stay. My bodyweight plummeted because of all the stress. It was a bad breakup because I tried to make her hate me so she could get over me easier, but now I regret doing it harshly. We still follow each other, I wish I could tell her somehow that I made a mistake breaking up like that.
He did come back we seeked God guidance he has put us bk together the only way it worked was we both went to therapy, we prayed on it. We made peace with the things that happened and said. We needed the break up to really figure out what we needed. We invested a lot into each other. if there’s a shimmering light of hope for you to reconnect as a couple, hold on to it and throw everything you can at it, like we did. Even if it doesn’t work and you do part ways, it can help you find peace. In our case, I’m glad we’ve found a way back.” There is alot of people I have met that have reconciled with an former partner they are stronger than ever so I think if you feel this connection is worth it then throw everything into it life is too short to wonder what could of been. Who cares what anyone else thinks love is hard to find and when you have it hold onto it be happy it’s your life tomorrow is not guaranteed so why wouldn’t you go for it at leas then you wouldn’t have to question it listen to your instincts it’s a powerful thing. When I stopped the outside noise and asked what I really wanted and didn’t put pressure on it it felt really good. Relationships aren’t perfect but I’m Glad I put my ego down and gave this a second chance
If someone says it is over, leave it at that. No wishing, no chasing, none of that. Move tf on. Smh. Last I checked there're 8 billion people and counting. Why would you level just to go back to the past.
Does this also apply when you are just "on a break"? He was going to break up with me because he lost feelings, but instead changed his mind and decided we should go on a break to think about if we want to break up fully or work on it. So I have temporarily moved out, I'm doing no contact and I'm really sticking to it. The problem is I feel like since we agreed to have a temporary timeout he might not be feeling like he really lost me. Thanks.
Reading some of the comments on these shows a lot of people really didn't/don't love their ex, but rather loved the relationship. In the movie hitch Albert says, "I've waited my whole life to feel this miserable..." even just the idea of it being about emotion or speaking about what they do or don't deserve. Have some respect. If you have unconditional love for them your space in their life doesn't deteriorate the importance of their safety, happiness, and well-being.
After he broke up with me 2 months ago, I only found out that he is a dismissive avoidant. The reason was that I had triggered his fear of being controlled ..I immediately started NC without begging or pleading...I accepted his decision
As a man i cant be with a person i cant trust with my vulnerability. At my worst times in life as shes been considered partner she was never there. Talking about a master narcissists here. Im doing my best to detach from this person emotionally. Its so hard because regardless to what i gave my authentic self. I will never in my life render myself to another in such away
someone say if it was short term to reach out. My dumb a** did it & got ignored & after I ended up seeing a argument & a lady got hit by a truck so I ran to her aide, this is why I stress life too short and try to fix things w-people but everyone don’t think like me. I feel dumb! I went 20 days NC and I felt good! I’m fine with him ignoring me cuz I been working on me, just find it insane that u claim to like someone but u are good w/acting like they never existed. W/e it is what it is!
I'm in no contact, since she hit me with she needs some time & space I agreed & went completely silent. Haven't reached out to her since. She reached out a couple days leter to pick up her stuff. Then a week later came by like she missed me & picked up a couple more things she had at mine. 3 weeks later she calls me & I don't answer. Then texts asking if I'm home & if I want ice cream. She came by I acted completely unaffected by it. We hungout for a lil & caught up. I never brought up the relationship. She picked up most of her stuff & when she left I realized that she didn't pick up everything. It's been 2 weeks & haven't spoken. I'm hoping with space & time she comes back. I'm letting her reach out & it's extremely hard for me not to reach out, the anxiety gets to me. Miss how things were between us.
Got an update for us dude? My GF moved out to work on herself and mental health. Miss her like crazy but we are still in constant contact, haven't gone the No Contact route yet, the house I'm in is mortgaged in both our names so there's a serious financial situation there. We also have a dog together she wants to keep seeing, plus me, she's still keen to see me. I don't know what to do. NC or not?
I reached out after breakup 2weeks and she said dont want toget back,but i was tried my best and she said no😢. Since then ido no contract for 2 months and never reach out and keep focusing on myself and my career.I want her back but i will never beg again😊let’s see what will happen next in my life.
What about if you broke up because an ex did something to really hurt you and even though you explained, they did not take any action? It’s not all about physical attraction. You have to hold self value and walk away.
Hi coach. I would love to see a video from you on a 'how to' respond when your ex (dumper) reaches out after NC , and says, 'happy birthday' or happy holidays'
This is not a reach out that has any sort of level of depth. It’s easy. Let them carry the weight. Say “”Thank You.” Let the lead. Let them ask how you are. Put the ball in their court. Be patient. If they are avoidant this might not come until a week or to later. Trust me on I’ve done both. Responding. “Hey thank you. How are you?” - it yields okay results but lack luster and you’re carrying the convo. THEY REACHED OUT. Respond kindly but DO NOT LEAD. Watch their response. Don’t panic (trust me, I do lol but don’t). If all you say it Thank You. They will eventually reach out again with greater effort and depth. BE PATIENT. This Happy Birthday Happy Holidays. It’s polite. Be polite back but in no way is it effort or time for you to take the torch. To happy holidays I would respond in like “Happy Holidays.” Avoidant partners do not always know what to do when you don’t lead. But it will send a message, you are treating them respectfully and equally but you are not sitting there waiting for any opportunity to desperately talk. Remember THEY REACHED OUT. Imagine you have a fit with a close relative, you walk away angry. In a couple of weeks, you realize you still value this family member and should have handle it differently. You reach out Hi. IMAGINE you waiting on them to say how are you? That’s not fair. You reach out to reconcile. Hey or Hi is not reconciliation. If they respond to your Hey with a hey. It’s ball in your court to say “How are you? It’s been some time” or something like that. It’s on you to carry the convo. And you might even value them more for being kind but not just simply allowing you back in but asking you to earn it even just a little. If you don’t ask how they are or start more convo to their reponse of hi. You’re going to wonder more and more until you eventually lead the conversation. Let the person that walked away earn their place back. NOT by carrying them through hoops. Just by letting them lead their way back in, and being open to it as they do. Don’t just unlock the door at hey. Let the ask to come into your damn house first. TRUST ME. It sucks. I have done both. Making them do their part makes a HUGE difference. I have done both with the same person mind you lol. They level of return for not carrying the conversation and being patient, letting him lead was HUGELY different and worth it.
Hi coach, what if they are dismissive avoidants and they just want their insecurities to be proven right by me not reaching out? is the NC applicable to all? They said that i deserve someone better as their life is too complicated.
I blocked my ex at first and I knew I shouldn’t have done that. So I unblocked her and now I’m wondering if I should make my account public or refollow her. She is also in a rebound relationship and we are 4 hours apart. She is at a summer church camp, but we go to the same college in August.
Yeah but difficult if they committed that investment vehicle locked up for six months elsewhere but I will concentrate on myself and have been. Wish me luck.
What if your Ex goes out and marry someone else and leave in opening so you can reach out to him far as texting in he reads all your replies but never a response
What if my ex broke up with me and get back together with his ex fiancé that they were together for 7years? So that means I couldn’t get him back and I’m just their rebound?
Hello why when I see my ex at work, he comes up to me, asking me questions and saying stuff like I know you hate me I know you don’t want to speak to me. why can’t he just leave me alone.
It’s been 4 days of no contact. It just been so hard and confusing at the same time. We been together for almost 3D years. We broke up on Monday due to my jealousy and overthinking and she got worried it wouldn’t work for long distance. I started working on it, seeing a therapist and a relationship coach to become the best version of myself. But it’s like I’m giving her space by not contacting her but she keeps snap me, and yesterday she texted me asking how been doing and checking up on me. Like bro what? It’s been 4 days since we broke up. And then later day her mom sends me a reel? Like I’m so confused about this weird signals I’m getting. Obviously I want her back but I don’t think about her much, yeah I talk about her but it makes me feel good to release it out but thinking about her nah. I wish her the best because I’m about to become the best version of myself and it’s up to her if she wants to give it a chance.
I was seeing a guy but couldn't commit fully as I was trying to figure out my feelings for someone else. He couldn't wait anymore without my commitment after so many months, met someone else he fell for and chose/committed to her and he has said she is better in every way for him. I had a real spiritual and soulmate connection with him, and he is the love of my life but due to my inaction I lost (I really trusted in his love and wanted to tie things off with the other guy well before committing). I may have to see them fairly often together or being intimate. He went NC and I just kept on it after our back and forth texts about the whole situation and what happened. Lots of lessons here for me in every facet of my being, but still wondering if I can somehow win him back or really give up hope. Going through the worst heartbreak ever affecting my physical health.
I wrote my ex a letter asking if he was sure it was over. We were long distance. He wrote back with a vague short response. Should I go full on no contact or write back ?
what would you suggest in my situation we broke up 2 and half months ago. i never fully went NC until last week. i was begging for about 2 month staright. i tried NC and always ended up texting her. she says she already made up her mind and she not going back on her decision. what would you say about this? could NC work in this situation
@coachblac What if I have to pick up and drop off the kids every other weekend. Do I go inside to grab them, or do I let them come to the car and go to the house?? So, do I limit my interaction with my "ex" ? In that aspect
I posted on a short of yours but if I could get some advice from anyone, I’ll gladly take it. When we broke up, she was balling her eyes out and said she was sorry and still loved me. Things like that. She said she wants her best friend back (me). Been almost 2 months of nc. She still watches my snap stories, and her friend occasionally replies to them. Any thoughts?
@@jamessitwala5136 yes sir. I’ve been back in the gym, something I neglected during the relationship admittedly. Am currently in school for law enforcement. Am also in the process of joining my local county reserve unit. I know what I did on my part and what she did on her part that led to the end of the relationship. I apologize this is long. The relationship didn’t end on bad terms by any means
In the book of life, this is why it says it is better for man to be single so they can have time to focus on God. Being married is all about your spouse. Idk anymore i don't like the vibes
Hey coach, i was thinking, and if you ever need an editor for your videos, get in contact with me. I've been editing for a bit now and I think you would be really impressed with my work.
There is never a 100 percent guarantee in anything on life.. Except death While this is hopeful for those who believe.. I am skeptical..my ex is on a rebound relationship.. He isn't experiencing fomo !!
You are great now question what if know someone for 7yrs not seen at all always says coming even for holidays no way and have given him so much of my social security check for thought was telling truth no didn't get it where have bills but no return how I ask after he gave message he lied of all he told me of stories right then I was so hurt I didn't talk but do now he won't say what happened I really am lost for before had deep feeling but after he told me thing were lie have been hurt and don't know what really to do iam older also and given suggestion to find someone else getting old but still wants me am writting don't have Counselor don't driveline alone so thank you for excepting this
As I can recall, every girl I have been with always tried to reach me out some time after breakup. Every single one of them. I choose to respond back to some of them but there's no intention of getting back. Now, I think I can text them and they text me back..even to the married ones, or those I have not talked to since years ago.. You wanna know how I do it?
So me and my gf broke up in the week,even after we broke up we still hung out but to just smoke,but i truly love her and i strongly feel she does too but i want her to start chasing me,ive been chasing since the start of the relationship, i want to flip the tables
I get it exactly where you're coming from and understand your concept but if you and your ex work at the same place and basically have the same life style and you do upgrade and they come back, then to me it looks as if they came back to be a leech or because you are materialistically better instead of because they actually care about you and your personality improvements 🤔🤔 just wondering about this
Does this really works? We broke up months ago, but we still live in the same house. I just packed up my things and will soon leave before the end of the month.
what if we had a child? I broke the NC for a couple of times. what should I do? I haven't seen my daughter for 4 months because our break up is so painful.
How do we do no contact if we see eachother at the gym I’m from a small town and there’s only one gym and I run into her at least once or twice a week. I’ve been good about not texting her or asking mutual friends at the gym about her and I’ve just been saying hi and bye when we make eye contact but last week I saw her and we had a good 20-30min convo at the gym about lifting and what’s going on in our lives. Wondering if this is a mistake I should just strictly say hi and bye as there not reason to talk to her?????
What is the only way the show love is through sexual comments and they reach out in the form of a booty call (but you know when they meet in person they don’t really want just sex)
I am confused what to do because i am the person who broke up with my ex it was not her it was me i regret it the next day that it was a wrong decesion i contacted her she said she doesnt want to get back and she hates me for what i did that i left her when she needed me but then after two days she asked me to be freinds for a period of time where she will test me if i can change for her and be the better person only then she will consider coming back her behaviour remains hot and cold she says she wants me emotionally to be present and i dont know if i should go no contact or not
Me got the same.. my ex goes back to her parents to think about our relationship, becouse i treatet her bad. After 4 weeks i couldnt wait anymore and break up the relationship.. after 1day i realised it was a mistake and beging and say sorry for the mistake but she was very sad+angry.I try to improve myself and Tell her it will never be the same and i will do everything to make her happy. Now im in no contact for 1 week after 2 month of begging and say sorry. Is it to late after 2 month? it feels like she never come back to me. The best i can do is wait or?
I broke up with my ex boyfriend and after few months he came back but i din change much so he left again . DO you think he will come around again? Or there is no more chance for me?
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I need some help getting my ex back I didn’t do nothing wrong. She broke up with me for no reason. She tripping because I got dropped off over to the house. She told me to come over there but my car was acting up on me. She knew I had a car and she like you grown as fuck. Why would you get dropped off? She told My cousin to tie his shoes. And my cousin said something back to her, but she was in the wrong. We didn’t do nothing. She started tripping because he dropped me off.
Hi their how do I chat with u in private chat ?.
Like do I send u private messages
It's a win win process. If they are your person and they come back great, but if they don't come back at least your a better improved person from working on yourself.
Let go and let God!
Is that you vinnie from jersey shore? Lol
@@bradhodges8833 🤣 omg!!!! Straight tatted on my chest for everyone to know
Facts ❤❤❤
Amen‼️
Let go let gov
Anyone else feels like giving up on trying to meet someone who is serious, consistent and healthy? Because guys. I honestly do. 😕
DON'T GIVE UP MY FRIEND. I FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL BELIEVE ME. WE GITTA STAY STRONG.BITS THE SECOND TIME FOR ME. I SURVIVED ONCE WE SHALL SURVIVE TWICE
I'm done with love & relationships .
Best wishes, everyone.
Yep, 100%
Ask God to send you your soulmate/husband. Trust and attract.
Don’t trip the past is not the present or the future!
If she can't handle me at my worst she sure isn't worth it when I'm at my best.
🤣🤣🤣🤣💯
You handled her on her worst but she didn't when you were. Same with my ex. It wasn't even at my worst.
preach brother🙌🏾🙌🏾
Partially agree, but think about it this way, sometimes we do need a wake up call and great amount of pain in order for us to learn and grow, so in a sense it’s the best thing that happens to us.
My ex left me last week. Just to be clear, if they left you over something so minuscule and didn’t even try to work things out, she isn’t meant for you.
I will say sometimes it can be a fear response. Sometime if people are hurt over and over they take the next relationship and promise to themselves to take off as soon as anything bad happens.. sad I know but some of us become hypervigilant in protecting ourselves after a bad relationship help this helps. Hopefully she’ll come around to see things can be worked on if both want to work on it ❤
That's exactly what happened to me, she left me because of something literally minuscule. And when I tried to make it work, she kept holding onto her belief. After one superb year with plenty of unique memories for the both of us.
I guess you can never trust people after all
This is why I truly believe: “what is meant for me will truly stay. If they aren’t for me, they won’t stay” 🥹🙌
I’ve literally levelled up so much since my break up in February. I’m in the shape of my life and I’m running sub 15 minute 5km’s. I haven’t reached out, I’ve never spoken to her since the day she left. I’ve kept levelling up, I’ve got into phenomenal shape, I have a good haircut now. I have a good career. But she has never contacted me. I haven’t heard a word from her. They don’t return. Just keep working on yourself. Keep up with the self improvement journey. But DON’T expect them to return. Cause it’s a load of sh*t. Just become the best version of yourself and once you’re at that stage, you will stop caring about your ex. Upgrade your ex instead.
When was your break up? And good for you on your self improvement
@@MM-ug5ecthey always come back!
Upu said she left in februari.. its june, 4 months is the first start, trust me, she will let you hear something ✌🏻
Afther i broke up with my boyfriend i went back afther 10 months, showed up in the middle of the night!
Almost all my relationships (the few i had) all same, sometimes afther 3 months, sometime afther 6 months or almost a year.
Trust the proces
Love from Amsterdam
@@Liz-dragon-street.my boyfriend left 2 weeks ago, I miss him so much. Just like your experience I hope he comes back to me
@@cyberaga20 🙏 hope for you he will vime back .. trust the proces and work hard on youself and be sweet for you.
Much love from 🧡 Amsterdam
They’re an ex for a reason. Better to move on and heal yourself. Constantly remind yourself of why they’re your ex.
Thats true its often a great time to reflect on yourself and improve yourself in every way possible for you not them be comfortable alone @@Wildanimal864.
Fuck that. Let them go and get someone who sees your value without shopping around. Let them live with the regret
So this actually happened to me recently. A girl I was seeing for about 2.5 months ended things back in the winter. I went into no contact, and started focusing on myself. I would post stories on social media, and after a while, she was always the first or first few people that would watch them. Always
Either way, she unexpectedly called me this past weekend, after a little over 3 months of no contact. I answered, was polite and cordial, and stayed pretty "neutral" Told her it was good to hear from her and I hope she's doing well, but didn't go overboard saying things like I missed her and we should go out for dinner etc etc. I think I'm in a good spot and have a feeling since she opened the lines of communication, she'll reach out again at some point. When this happens, then I will try and take a step forward, maybe asking for an in person meeting or so, but remembering to keep cool and don't seem too "eager"
Appreciate the videos, they definitely help out
I think you're supposed to set a date if she contacts you. But not out effort into it. Have her come over and cook dinner with her and fuck her. Lmao
Pls let us know how things went. Good luck to you buddy. I'm in a similar situation. NC for a little more than 3 months
@a.d.5963 sure thing 👍
Just gonna drop a comment here so i get notified for the what happens next
You'd still accept her after being surely smashed by other dudes when you weren't together? LOL. Use her as a human fleshlight. That is what she is anyways. Never be serious again with an EX.
M.O.E. Money Over Everything. Let em GO and get richer. Get that career, job, and promotion u always wanted.
This is why I don’t believe in that 30, or 60 days of no contact. No contact should be done for as long as it is required. If you really have stuff to work on, it definitely will take longer. Most importantly, attraction needs time to build.
My ex reached out me after 45 days of no contact. We talked for an hour and he asked me if he can call me again and I said ok. I’m still have feelings for him but this time he has to be the one who pursues me because took me 2 months to get better and invested in myself.
Update?
Hopefully it turned out well for you 😊
@@Missybella92227 still separate but I feel so much better. I grown up as a person.. I decided to be happy and well.
It’s been 6 months. I’ve improved myself physically and career-wise, but still not a word from him. I broke no contact a lot before the 6 months, so he probably thinks I’m worthless and that I’ll come crawling back again. But I won’t. I’m 6 months strong and I won’t break that.
On social media, he posted something about being lonely a few weeks ago, but I’m taking it to mean nothing. There was another woman involved as well, so maybe he will go to her.
Good for you 👍
I went through exactly the same situation! I broke no contact twice and it's already been a 6 months but unfortunately in April when I reached out to him, he respond very nice and asked me how I'm I doing and he also said he wasn't mad at me, but his not explain the reason why he blocked me for the first place... However he called me directly and the second time he called me on video to see where he was but I didn't pick up. Now he blocked me again 🙏😭
Simply put money is everything today . Period
We stayed in contact since breakup, and he trusts me the most with his house and i still have the keys to his house... then i realized it was holding us from moving on as we still relied on each other emotionally, i slowly backed out,blocked him and he still contacted me,he cares and he answers my calls at first ring....i have now distanced myself physically and online.....if he is serious then God will reunite us at the right time.
I been listening to you for a few months now, and doing everything you said to do and don’t do and it works. We where together for 6 yrs. He broke up with me in back in February and for the last 6 weeks he’s been reaching out on and off through out the week. He wants to start over and work things out, he tells me how he misses me and wish he never left. I will admit 70% of it is the reason it lead to the break. Today I finally said yes to work on rebuilding our relationship after making wait about 6 weeks. I didn’t want to give in that easy even though I wanted to lol honestly I am deeply in love with him, and I didn’t realize how much I was until that day. I was in a relationship for 32 years and we I ended that I used to love that man and I was very easy to walk away. I had family members past away never felt this type of pain. I believe he’s my twin flame we can feel what the other person is feeling and it affects us both it’s like we share the same frequency no lie. Thanks for all your advice I appreciate you and I am sure everyone else does.
If you only want to better yourself only for your ex to come back. Is Wild!😂
Well my ex is Def. Coming back. My partner has told me over and over that no one has compared to me as I have poured time, money, energy, love, commitment etc.
My partner has also always been afraid that she is not enough for me.
So simple but work has to be done on oneself,not yo get the Ex I think it's mostly for your own self !Great advice broke down into most simple version 👍🏻👌🏻💫
No contact is to improve on oneself I know it hurts but let's just all forget about people who didn't care about us and move on 😊
5:51 improve/upgrade yourself . Become their best option.
Of all the coaches I’ve checked out, you make the most sense. You go into the whys and not just the dos.
Recently, I was chasing one girl. I did it wrong obviously. I shouldn't have done it. She played hard to get, and I enjoyed it. However, at one point she acted a certain way, and I didn't like it, so I told her that this is as far as I go. Next morning, she gave a good explanation, and almost convinced me. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, but then I decided to really put it to an end after some consideration next day.
There's no contact for around a week, and then, suddenly she texted me and offered something I had always tried to get from her (nothing physical - although it can lead it there). I replied to her next day, and refused softly. The table has turned. I never contact her, and have no planning on doing so.
No contact works wonder..
my breakup was in may 2022, since that I changed my life a lot and achieved more than in the last 5 years. My ex showed a lot of signs that he misses me and struggles with the breakup, but no reach out. I am okay with that now.
She cheated and monkey-branched after 7 years together, engaged and I was about to adopt her daughter... I went no contact because I dont want her back, I dont want to be cool with her, I don't even want to know she still exists.
My ex reached out saying his spirit told him to but did really had a conversation. He just said hope all is well
But you’re not her only or his only ex so.. Yeah what if you’re the rebound
Phenomenal analogies and incredibly poignant advice. It all resonates.
You was kind of rambling on and on for this one Black
Thank you so much for your education and advices. Most people dont get where you lead us!! When we were so hung up onto getting into no contact at the beginning of breakup to hope to get the ex back. But eventually when we get in NC and work on ourselves most of us moved on because we find self love again and would never wanna put us through the hurt again. Esp if someone leaves us when we are down, why would we want them back! Let them rot
This.
All the women always came back, but by that time, I had moved on or was happy being single.
At this point of time, I feel hopeless in humanity. I would have never abandoned her when we were 40-50 or went for a younger woman simply because of some "selfish gene".
My morality gene is far stronger than the selfish one, and even without that, I do not understand how most humans have no semblance of values or principles.
She was the most hellish yet she's the only one who cared a lot as much as I did. I had to choose between bad and a bit less bad, so I broke up. She begged so much, but I stressed a lot in the relationship so I didn't stay. My bodyweight plummeted because of all the stress. It was a bad breakup because I tried to make her hate me so she could get over me easier, but now I regret doing it harshly. We still follow each other, I wish I could tell her somehow that I made a mistake breaking up like that.
He did come back we seeked God guidance he has put us bk together the only way it worked was we both went to therapy, we prayed on it.
We made peace with the things that happened and said.
We needed the break up to really figure out what we needed.
We invested a lot into each other.
if there’s a shimmering light of hope for you to reconnect as a couple, hold on to it and throw everything you can at it, like we did. Even if it doesn’t work and you do part ways, it can help you find peace. In our case, I’m glad we’ve found a way back.”
There is alot of people I have met that have reconciled with an former partner they are stronger than ever so I think if you feel this connection is worth it then throw everything into it life is too short to wonder what could of been. Who cares what anyone else thinks love is hard to find and when you have it hold onto it be happy it’s your life tomorrow is not guaranteed so why wouldn’t you go for it at leas then you wouldn’t have to question it listen to your instincts it’s a powerful thing. When I stopped the outside noise and asked what I really wanted and didn’t put pressure on it it felt really good. Relationships aren’t perfect but I’m
Glad I put my ego down and gave this a second chance
When you guys broke up, who broke it off, did any of the two try to maintain contact ?
If someone says it is over, leave it at that. No wishing, no chasing, none of that. Move tf on. Smh. Last I checked there're 8 billion people and counting. Why would you level just to go back to the past.
Does this also apply when you are just "on a break"? He was going to break up with me because he lost feelings, but instead changed his mind and decided we should go on a break to think about if we want to break up fully or work on it. So I have temporarily moved out, I'm doing no contact and I'm really sticking to it. The problem is I feel like since we agreed to have a temporary timeout he might not be feeling like he really lost me. Thanks.
Thanks Coach I woke up feeling not as sure this week you came through for the camp !!!! We appreciate you !!!! What a journey !
Reading some of the comments on these shows a lot of people really didn't/don't love their ex, but rather loved the relationship. In the movie hitch Albert says, "I've waited my whole life to feel this miserable..." even just the idea of it being about emotion or speaking about what they do or don't deserve. Have some respect. If you have unconditional love for them your space in their life doesn't deteriorate the importance of their safety, happiness, and well-being.
Thank you Coach! Love your videos ! They help me get through the day !
After he broke up with me 2 months ago, I only found out that he is a dismissive avoidant. The reason was that I had triggered his fear of being controlled ..I immediately started NC without begging or pleading...I accepted his decision
As a man i cant be with a person i cant trust with my vulnerability. At my worst times in life as shes been considered partner she was never there. Talking about a master narcissists here. Im doing my best to detach from this person emotionally. Its so hard because regardless to what i gave my authentic self. I will never in my life render myself to another in such away
If the time n space did not work n even both love each other so much that one refuse to admits thier wrongs
someone say if it was short term to reach out. My dumb a** did it & got ignored & after I ended up seeing a argument & a lady got hit by a truck so I ran to her aide, this is why I stress life too short and try to fix things w-people but everyone don’t think like me. I feel dumb! I went 20 days NC and I felt good! I’m fine with him ignoring me cuz I been working on me, just find it insane that u claim to like someone but u are good w/acting like they never existed. W/e it is what it is!
Let them regret losing. U they are the ones with the problems karma is real believe that
I. Agree let. God. Take. Control.
I left him because I woke up to what was happening to me 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃
I'm in no contact, since she hit me with she needs some time & space I agreed & went completely silent. Haven't reached out to her since. She reached out a couple days leter to pick up her stuff. Then a week later came by like she missed me & picked up a couple more things she had at mine. 3 weeks later she calls me & I don't answer. Then texts asking if I'm home & if I want ice cream. She came by I acted completely unaffected by it. We hungout for a lil & caught up. I never brought up the relationship. She picked up most of her stuff & when she left I realized that she didn't pick up everything. It's been 2 weeks & haven't spoken. I'm hoping with space & time she comes back. I'm letting her reach out & it's extremely hard for me not to reach out, the anxiety gets to me. Miss how things were between us.
Got an update for us dude? My GF moved out to work on herself and mental health. Miss her like crazy but we are still in constant contact, haven't gone the No Contact route yet, the house I'm in is mortgaged in both our names so there's a serious financial situation there. We also have a dog together she wants to keep seeing, plus me, she's still keen to see me. I don't know what to do. NC or not?
Can you make videos about actually being in a relationship and how to show up?
If someone with you for your looks only they are not worth having
Great analogy 👏
Thank you coach as always ❤
I reached out after breakup 2weeks and she said dont want toget back,but i was tried my best and she said no😢. Since then ido no contract for 2 months and never reach out and keep focusing on myself and my career.I want her back but i will never beg again😊let’s see what will happen next in my life.
Please always be on point
What about if you broke up because an ex did something to really hurt you and even though you explained, they did not take any action? It’s not all about physical attraction. You have to hold self value and walk away.
Unless their a dismissive avoidant and is already into the next guy.
Thank u for your videos really hopefull
Hi coach. I would love to see a video from you on a 'how to' respond when your ex (dumper) reaches out after NC , and says, 'happy birthday' or happy holidays'
This is not a reach out that has any sort of level of depth. It’s easy. Let them carry the weight. Say “”Thank You.” Let the lead. Let them ask how you are. Put the ball in their court. Be patient. If they are avoidant this might not come until a week or to later. Trust me on I’ve done both. Responding. “Hey thank you. How are you?” - it yields okay results but lack luster and you’re carrying the convo. THEY REACHED OUT. Respond kindly but DO NOT LEAD. Watch their response. Don’t panic (trust me, I do lol but don’t). If all you say it Thank You. They will eventually reach out again with greater effort and depth. BE PATIENT. This Happy Birthday Happy Holidays. It’s polite. Be polite back but in no way is it effort or time for you to take the torch. To happy holidays I would respond in like “Happy Holidays.” Avoidant partners do not always know what to do when you don’t lead. But it will send a message, you are treating them respectfully and equally but you are not sitting there waiting for any opportunity to desperately talk. Remember THEY REACHED OUT.
Imagine you have a fit with a close relative, you walk away angry. In a couple of weeks, you realize you still value this family member and should have handle it differently. You reach out Hi. IMAGINE you waiting on them to say how are you? That’s not fair. You reach out to reconcile. Hey or Hi is not reconciliation. If they respond to your Hey with a hey. It’s ball in your court to say “How are you? It’s been some time” or something like that. It’s on you to carry the convo. And you might even value them more for being kind but not just simply allowing you back in but asking you to earn it even just a little. If you don’t ask how they are or start more convo to their reponse of hi. You’re going to wonder more and more until you eventually lead the conversation. Let the person that walked away earn their place back. NOT by carrying them through hoops. Just by letting them lead their way back in, and being open to it as they do. Don’t just unlock the door at hey. Let the ask to come into your damn house first. TRUST ME. It sucks. I have done both. Making them do their part makes a HUGE difference. I have done both with the same person mind you lol. They level of return for not carrying the conversation and being patient, letting him lead was HUGELY different and worth it.
Thanks coach. It's hard but I'll trust God's plan for me I believe it's worth the process and the pain.
But how can I work on myself when I can’t stop crying cause I’m so devastated at Losing him? I can’t function cause I’m hurting
Ooh I know the feeling I'm going thru it too. I'll pray for you..this is hard
Praying for you 🙏 I understand the feeling but try to do things to keep you busy so you don't think about it as much!
@@brittaney614ify thank you
@@MIMILEWIS01 thank you. I’ll pray for you too
Hi coach, what if they are dismissive avoidants and they just want their insecurities to be proven right by me not reaching out? is the NC applicable to all? They said that i deserve someone better as their life is too complicated.
Yes please help with this one
Thanks!
I blocked my ex at first and I knew I shouldn’t have done that. So I unblocked her and now I’m wondering if I should make my account public or refollow her. She is also in a rebound relationship and we are 4 hours apart. She is at a summer church camp, but we go to the same college in August.
Yeah but difficult if they committed that investment vehicle locked up for six months elsewhere but I will concentrate on myself and have been. Wish me luck.
What if your Ex goes out and marry someone else and leave in opening so you can reach out to him far as texting in he reads all your replies but never a response
What if my ex broke up with me and get back together with his ex fiancé that they were together for 7years? So that means I couldn’t get him back and I’m just their rebound?
Yes
I always come back
He aint even tell me it was over i found out because i called him & asked him but before he was acting different
Hello why when I see my ex at work, he comes up to me, asking me questions and saying stuff like I know you hate me I know you don’t want to speak to me. why can’t he just leave me alone.
Curious to know if this information applies to a LDR and a person that is a dismissive avoidant.
It’s been 4 days of no contact. It just been so hard and confusing at the same time. We been together for almost 3D years. We broke up on Monday due to my jealousy and overthinking and she got worried it wouldn’t work for long distance. I started working on it, seeing a therapist and a relationship coach to become the best version of myself. But it’s like I’m giving her space by not contacting her but she keeps snap me, and yesterday she texted me asking how been doing and checking up on me. Like bro what? It’s been 4 days since we broke up. And then later day her mom sends me a reel? Like I’m so confused about this weird signals I’m getting. Obviously I want her back but I don’t think about her much, yeah I talk about her but it makes me feel good to release it out but thinking about her nah. I wish her the best because I’m about to become the best version of myself and it’s up to her if she wants to give it a chance.
I was seeing a guy but couldn't commit fully as I was trying to figure out my feelings for someone else. He couldn't wait anymore without my commitment after so many months, met someone else he fell for and chose/committed to her and he has said she is better in every way for him. I had a real spiritual and soulmate connection with him, and he is the love of my life but due to my inaction I lost (I really trusted in his love and wanted to tie things off with the other guy well before committing). I may have to see them fairly often together or being intimate. He went NC and I just kept on it after our back and forth texts about the whole situation and what happened. Lots of lessons here for me in every facet of my being, but still wondering if I can somehow win him back or really give up hope. Going through the worst heartbreak ever affecting my physical health.
I wrote my ex a letter asking if he was sure it was over. We were long distance. He wrote back with a vague short response. Should I go full on no contact or write back ?
what would you suggest in my situation we broke up 2 and half months ago. i never fully went NC until last week. i was begging for about 2 month staright. i tried NC and always ended up texting her. she says she already made up her mind and she not going back on her decision. what would you say about this? could NC work in this situation
Be strong let her be I am facing the same thing too
I fucked up alot after the breakup so I'm starting no contact hope it works tried everything else
Brilliant
Does this apply even if you made break up mistakes like begging and stuff
Yes, they may forget overtime, forgive and judge you on how you are presently.
I hope so ..
@coachblac
What if I have to pick up and drop off the kids every other weekend. Do I go inside to grab them, or do I let them come to the car and go to the house??
So, do I limit my interaction with my "ex" ? In that aspect
I posted on a short of yours but if I could get some advice from anyone, I’ll gladly take it.
When we broke up, she was balling her eyes out and said she was sorry and still loved me. Things like that. She said she wants her best friend back (me). Been almost 2 months of nc. She still watches my snap stories, and her friend occasionally replies to them. Any thoughts?
Do you still want her back?
@@jamessitwala5136 yes sir. I’ve been back in the gym, something I neglected during the relationship admittedly. Am currently in school for law enforcement. Am also in the process of joining my local county reserve unit. I know what I did on my part and what she did on her part that led to the end of the relationship.
I apologize this is long. The relationship didn’t end on bad terms by any means
In the book of life, this is why it says it is better for man to be single so they can have time to focus on God. Being married is all about your spouse. Idk anymore i don't like the vibes
Hey coach, i was thinking, and if you ever need an editor for your videos, get in contact with me. I've been editing for a bit now and I think you would be really impressed with my work.
Interesting analogy to investments and credit 🤔 gotta level up!
There is never a 100 percent guarantee in anything on life..
Except death
While this is hopeful for those who believe..
I am skeptical..my ex is on a rebound relationship..
He isn't experiencing fomo !!
You are great now question what if know someone for 7yrs not seen at all always says coming even for holidays no way and have given him so much of my social security check for thought was telling truth no didn't get it where have bills but no return how I ask after he gave message he lied of all he told me of stories right then I was so hurt I didn't talk but do now he won't say what happened I really am lost for before had deep feeling but after he told me thing were lie have been hurt and don't know what really to do iam older also and given suggestion to find someone else getting old but still wants me am writting don't have Counselor don't driveline alone so thank you for excepting this
As I can recall, every girl I have been with always tried to reach me out some time after breakup. Every single one of them.
I choose to respond back to some of them but there's no intention of getting back.
Now, I think I can text them and they text me back..even to the married ones, or those I have not talked to since years ago..
You wanna know how I do it?
Why are you texting your married ex gf?? That’s toxic.
once they gone they gone simple lol
So me and my gf broke up in the week,even after we broke up we still hung out but to just smoke,but i truly love her and i strongly feel she does too but i want her to start chasing me,ive been chasing since the start of the relationship, i want to flip the tables
I get it exactly where you're coming from and understand your concept but if you and your ex work at the same place and basically have the same life style and you do upgrade and they come back, then to me it looks as if they came back to be a leech or because you are materialistically better instead of because they actually care about you and your personality improvements 🤔🤔 just wondering about this
Does this really works? We broke up months ago, but we still live in the same house. I just packed up my things and will soon leave before the end of the month.
Coach, does this video apply even if there in a rebound relationship a month after the breakup?
Generally yes, and I’ll make a follow up about this. But if you aren’t actually doing the work you are wasting your time
Dose this apply if you made break up mistakes like sending letters emails and so on ??
what if we had a child? I broke the NC for a couple of times. what should I do? I haven't seen my daughter for 4 months because our break up is so painful.
How do we do no contact if we see eachother at the gym I’m from a small town and there’s only one gym and I run into her at least once or twice a week. I’ve been good about not texting her or asking mutual friends at the gym about her and I’ve just been saying hi and bye when we make eye contact but last week I saw her and we had a good 20-30min convo at the gym about lifting and what’s going on in our lives. Wondering if this is a mistake I should just strictly say hi and bye as there not reason to talk to her?????
Don't play games,the moment warranted that conversation, simple as that
Why would you want your ex back ?
If she’s calling after a week of breaking up with me and I’m in NC, when do I answer ??
But she told that she is done and she told me to look for someone else she is out
Is it OK to block your ex if he starts texting few days after breaking up to collect his belongings at my place
What is the only way the show love is through sexual comments and they reach out in the form of a booty call (but you know when they meet in person they don’t really want just sex)
I am confused what to do because i am the person who broke up with my ex it was not her it was me i regret it the next day that it was a wrong decesion i contacted her she said she doesnt want to get back and she hates me for what i did that i left her when she needed me but then after two days she asked me to be freinds for a period of time where she will test me if i can change for her and be the better person only then she will consider coming back her behaviour remains hot and cold she says she wants me emotionally to be present and i dont know if i should go no contact or not
Me got the same.. my ex goes back to her parents to think about our relationship, becouse i treatet her bad. After 4 weeks i couldnt wait anymore and break up the relationship.. after 1day i realised it was a mistake and beging and say sorry for the mistake but she was very sad+angry.I try to improve myself and Tell her it will never be the same and i will do everything to make her happy. Now im in no contact for 1 week after 2 month of begging and say sorry. Is it to late after 2 month? it feels like she never come back to me. The best i can do is wait or?
I need help with something won’t take long at all,can you help?
How Can i book a meeting whit you???
I broke up with my ex boyfriend and after few months he came back but i din change much so he left again . DO you think he will come around again? Or there is no more chance for me?
What if my ex still stalking me using my own account?