Thank you! 😊My mom is so selfless and just a good mom. I'm grateful. Having a mom like this has helped me understand the other side of not having this too. So it's a blessing for many reasons.
You know I often think it’s sad in human families that family members will come together to get rid of the family member that seems the most together and protect and stand with the ones that are the most toxic. It’s sad that very rarely they outcast the evil ones! I applaud the bees. That information you shared with us is very very interesting.
Thank you for highlighting this topic. I have always believed that family is everything but my mother has shown me that it’s not true. She has destroyed our family by pitting her children against each other. I had to leave over 25 years ago. At that time , I was not aware of narcissistic behaviors in ppl.
You're welcome!! And thank you for watching. I'm sorry you have had to learn this isn't the case when it comes to your mom. No one wants that pain. I hope you have peace at this time.
yep, mine used to set my drunk dad on us like a Pitbull. I was chatting late last night with my brother. He told me something I had no idea about. OMG my first impulse was to dig her up an pee in her mouth. not possible of course she was cremated and had the good fortune to be buried 500 miles away. Sorry if I shocked you all, I shock myself sometimes at the hurt pain and disgust I can't let go of even at 70. The good news, the cancer has got me some great trauma therapy at last, only four session and I am making progress, Yay
“Family isn’t everything if they continue to hurt you over and over again.” Yes, I agree you should walk away or go no contact with family members that continually hurt. Another great subject, you are amazing, thanks!🙏🥰
ive learned through slowly letting go of expectations i had for them, that i truly found my power in keeping promises to myself. it means the world to know what it feels like to have someone respect my limits even if it is just myself.
When I see a loving family engaged with one another in caring for one another and showing respect towards one another.... It's a beautiful and very unfamiliar thing to see. I don't feel jealousy ..... I just feel sad and still grieve over not ever having closeness as a result of trauma and addictions. I'm middle(! aged and just beginning to create healthy and loving friendships. ( Outside of my biological family) I am creating bonds and friendships and secure attachment with others, in my new church.
LOVED THIS LIVE SO MUCH!!!❤😢. This hour spoke directly to my heart! You have no idea how validating it is to have you see our truth when nobody else ever has.
❤🤗That's so good to hear! That makes all the difference because it's therapy for the soul. Thank you for sharing how this has impacted you. More to come!
70 and so shocked how many of in Tamara's group are my age. I have only just got my diagnosis. and working with it. Nothing like this growing up or as a young mum
The word family has became no-more than a concept to me now..To think that the very people who are supposed to nurture, care for and love you the most would hurt you the most is very damaging for the"psyche of an individual" resulting in long-lasting effects that can often take a lifetime to truly heal!!
My mother and sister went crazy after I moved out after dad died (10 year I took care of post stroke bedridden dad ) and had to stay in mothers house and addressed I didn’t like it but she didn’t work on her emotions and hostility toward me I often felt I’m not her daughter as she would blame me for all sins I had suicide attempt when was a teenager because parents arguments were too hard on my psyche And mother and sister often try to guilt trip me for anything and if I say something - even being calm they would enrage Tired of babysitting and that we are” family “ Mother was stalking me whether my car is parked at home and would knock on door embarrassing me before neighbours and she did other crazy things like it’s her house I understand everything that people can live too much and be anxious but they would never apologise for hurting you when addressed They keep following me whenever I travel and keep coming - last time I got sick that’s true amd couldn’t come down and they called police to “ make sure im ok” I mean never ask how I truly am - instead “ I was worrying and you have to understand Sometimes moms don’t know how to love ❤️
I walked away 10 years ago,after so many betrayals,dad keeps telling me to come home and be closer,been having a continuous back and forth in my head,what to do?😅
I truly despise this. Why do it? Most of the time it's to be nosey and/or manipulate the family dynamic in some way. Like the old commercial "just say no."
The Nuclear Family is the weakest unit ever, because you only get 2 chances to get that Unicorn "good parent". If both are bad, and you have no access to extended family due to moves, you're in a REALLY bad position. It only takes one set of bad parents to ruin an entire family line due to the fragility of children. I feel that kids have a better chance of having a "good enough" nurturer if they have access to extended family.
I agree. That can be a very bad situation. It's heartbreaking in some cases, especially for kids. And yes, access to extended family can sometimes help a lot.
I've had to walk away from my family. And almost all groups. Including bloodline, religious, political etc. Why? Because in any long running group the most dominant rises to power. Often that is the most narcissist. Not only families go bad. Whole civilizations eventually cycle. I'm really personally struggling . I'm working hard to undo habits and brainwashing. It aint easy being cheesy. And there's also physical health. Skin and complexion shows a lot more than most people understand. I know I'd better pay attention. My diet was killing me. It shows in my skin etc.
5:24 maybe people mean that in general if they didn't have a family, they would have different opportunities and achievable goals in their lives (thus a different meaning), less knowledge different mindset and all. It's nice when the system makes it possible for young people to be able to live independently, maybe even in a healthy family it's nice to encourage your kids to be more independent, live separately, so that they can sooner discover their own life
I hate my family so much ! I chose to move on with my life and kids but they kidnapped my kids and using them against me. Just thinking about them makes me angry. The police worthless now I have to fake be cordial with them. I’m plotting now to get my kids and run far away. I hate them so much. They so controlling. I rather die than be around them.
I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm sorry. It's terrible when you don't or can't see anything good in your family. I hope and pray you find peace with your children. Your kids depend on it.
@Grow girl, hang in there. I slept in a tent many times ‘cause I could not pay the rent (Norway is cold) Now I have a jobb. It will get better. If you get a paper and a penn, draw your Life’s wishes and plans then take even the smalest step… things will work out.
I don't like my older sister. Overprotective, invasive and disrespectful. She is burnt-out on top of it. Her sense of humor isn't funny it's cruel. Bullying is funny to her and her pack of hyenas.
Dr. Tamara I just wanted to say I particularly appreciate what you said to round out this live: we ultimately only have ourselves and how we navigate life when it's all said and done. I personally live similarly by this ideology: nobody will be for me, in any capacity, in the exact manner that I will. In doing this, I no longer get upset/stressed when generally believed things about human to human relations don't happen in my life. Please get all necessary rest and recovery!!!🫶
Thank you! I wasn't sure if that got across clearly. So glad you caught it! I like everything you said in this comment! I do agree and sometimes that's the safest way to be. Thank you also! I hope you get some R&R too!
Being the scapegoat of my family and discarded last Christmas eve and went no contact they are now starting too hoover and asking about the holidays I haven't any plans too attend but however knowing what I know thinking it was the tryptophan in the turkey making me tired and in fact it's their rotten skin cells falling into the pots and pans falling into the food tip toe very lightly people and bon appetite
Right or they can’t meet in public and I don’t feel safe around them. Yes lol no independent thoughts. They are characters…right lol the views/status. It’s always easier in friend groups
To see my other videos on this topic, click the links below:
1. th-cam.com/video/NMypYoEe0Hg/w-d-xo.html
2. th-cam.com/users/liveGIxny-ctBhU
You speak highly and lovingly towards your mother. She seems like a loving and encouraging mother.
Thank you! 😊My mom is so selfless and just a good mom. I'm grateful. Having a mom like this has helped me understand the other side of not having this too. So it's a blessing for many reasons.
You know I often think it’s sad in human families that family members will come together to get rid of the family member that seems the most together and protect and stand with the ones that are the most toxic. It’s sad that very rarely they outcast the evil ones! I applaud the bees. That information you shared with us is very very interesting.
I agree. It is sad indeed.
Thank you for highlighting this topic. I have always believed that family is everything but my mother has shown me that it’s not true. She has destroyed our family by pitting her children against each other. I had to leave over 25 years ago. At that time , I was not aware of narcissistic behaviors in ppl.
You're welcome!! And thank you for watching.
I'm sorry you have had to learn this isn't the case when it comes to your mom. No one wants that pain. I hope you have peace at this time.
yep, mine used to set my drunk dad on us like a Pitbull. I was chatting late last night with my brother. He told me something I had no idea about. OMG my first impulse was to dig her up an pee in her mouth. not possible of course she was cremated and had the good fortune to be buried 500 miles away. Sorry if I shocked you all, I shock myself sometimes at the hurt pain and disgust I can't let go of even at 70. The good news, the cancer has got me some great trauma therapy at last, only four session and I am making progress, Yay
“Family isn’t everything if they continue to hurt you over and over again.” Yes, I agree you should walk away or go no contact with family members that continually hurt. Another great subject, you are amazing, thanks!🙏🥰
You're welcome and thank you so much for that!!🤗 Appreciate that.
Thank you for raising awareness on such topics that are not commonly talked about. God bless you ❤️
Thank you so much! And you're welcome 😊 We need more awareness indeed.
ive learned through slowly letting go of expectations i had for them, that i truly found my power in keeping promises to myself. it means the world to know what it feels like to have someone respect my limits even if it is just myself.
When I see a loving family engaged with one another in caring for one another and showing respect towards one another.... It's a beautiful and very unfamiliar thing to see. I don't feel jealousy ..... I just feel sad and still grieve over not ever having closeness as a result of trauma and addictions. I'm middle(! aged and just beginning to create healthy and loving friendships. ( Outside of my biological family) I am creating bonds and friendships and secure attachment with others, in my new church.
That's wonderful!! So glad to hear that. I truly hope this is a good group of people. It's such a blessing when you find that.
LOVED THIS LIVE SO MUCH!!!❤😢. This hour spoke directly to my heart! You have no idea how validating it is to have you see our truth when nobody else ever has.
❤🤗That's so good to hear! That makes all the difference because it's therapy for the soul. Thank you for sharing how this has impacted you. More to come!
That’s what my friends did to me lol it’s hard to trust people when there is a lot of deception
70 and so shocked how many of in Tamara's group are my age. I have only just got my diagnosis. and working with it. Nothing like this growing up or as a young mum
The word family has became no-more than a concept to me now..To think that the very people who are supposed to nurture, care for and love you the most would hurt you the most is very damaging for the"psyche of an individual" resulting in long-lasting effects that can often take a lifetime to truly heal!!
My mother and sister went crazy after I moved out after dad died (10 year I took care of post stroke bedridden dad ) and had to stay in mothers house and addressed I didn’t like it but she didn’t work on her emotions and hostility toward me
I often felt I’m not her daughter as she would blame me for all sins
I had suicide attempt when was a teenager because parents arguments were too hard on my psyche
And mother and sister often try to guilt trip me for anything and if I say something - even being calm they would enrage
Tired of babysitting and that we are” family “
Mother was stalking me whether my car is parked at home and would knock on door embarrassing me before neighbours and she did other crazy things like it’s her house
I understand everything that people can live too much and be anxious but they would never apologise for hurting you when addressed
They keep following me whenever I travel and keep coming - last time I got sick that’s true amd couldn’t come down and they called police to “ make sure im ok”
I mean never ask how I truly am - instead “ I was worrying and you have to understand
Sometimes moms don’t know how to love ❤️
I need to hear this, thank you!❤
I'm glad you found this video helpful to you! You're welcome. Good to hear.
You work so hard ! We appreciate you. I'm looking forward to hearing about this topic.
I'm so glad this is helpful! 🙌 And thank you!🤗 It's my pleasure to share these things.
I am so glad that I found this channel!! Thank you for your insights.
🤗You're welcome! So glad to have you on the channel.
I walked away 10 years ago,after so many betrayals,dad keeps telling me to come home and be closer,been having a continuous back and forth in my head,what to do?😅
What about when they cant seem to keep what you say to them to themselves. They always have to tell someone else in the family.
I truly despise this. Why do it? Most of the time it's to be nosey and/or manipulate the family dynamic in some way. Like the old commercial "just say no."
That's Alfred Tennyson is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all
That's right!! My mom would say it like she invented it. 😂
The great philosopher J. Krishnamurti spoke about this!
Thank you for posting this ❤ extremely validating
Culture/society has been brainwashed by hallmark holidays.
You're welcome! I think we've all been through it. It's a TON of brainwashing and we have to undo that over time!
The Nuclear Family is the weakest unit ever, because you only get 2 chances to get that Unicorn "good parent". If both are bad, and you have no access to extended family due to moves, you're in a REALLY bad position. It only takes one set of bad parents to ruin an entire family line due to the fragility of children. I feel that kids have a better chance of having a "good enough" nurturer if they have access to extended family.
I agree. That can be a very bad situation. It's heartbreaking in some cases, especially for kids. And yes, access to extended family can sometimes help a lot.
I've had to walk away from my family. And almost all groups. Including bloodline, religious, political etc. Why? Because in any long running group the most dominant rises to power. Often that is the most narcissist. Not only families go bad. Whole civilizations eventually cycle. I'm really personally struggling . I'm working hard to undo habits and brainwashing. It aint easy being cheesy. And there's also physical health. Skin and complexion shows a lot more than most people understand. I know I'd better pay attention. My diet was killing me. It shows in my skin etc.
5:24 maybe people mean that in general if they didn't have a family, they would have different opportunities and achievable goals in their lives (thus a different meaning), less knowledge different mindset and all. It's nice when the system makes it possible for young people to be able to live independently, maybe even in a healthy family it's nice to encourage your kids to be more independent, live separately, so that they can sooner discover their own life
I hate my family so much ! I chose to move on with my life and kids but they kidnapped my kids and using them against me. Just thinking about them makes me angry. The police worthless now I have to fake be cordial with them. I’m plotting now to get my kids and run far away. I hate them so much. They so controlling. I rather die than be around them.
I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm sorry. It's terrible when you don't or can't see anything good in your family. I hope and pray you find peace with your children. Your kids depend on it.
@Grow girl, hang in there. I slept in a tent many times ‘cause I could not pay the rent (Norway is cold) Now I have a jobb. It will get better. If you get a paper and a penn, draw your Life’s wishes and plans then take even the smalest step… things will work out.
I don't like my older sister. Overprotective, invasive and disrespectful. She is burnt-out on top of it. Her sense of humor isn't funny it's cruel. Bullying is funny to her and her pack of hyenas.
My younger sister amd mom is like that same as mother’s relatives
That's always an "ugly" dynamic. I'm sorry.
Well I think betrayals might be going on and it gets wacky after awhile it’s easier to be a workaholic
Alpha female bee 🐝
I better leave with ant 🐜 analogy
😂🤓
Dr. Tamara I just wanted to say I particularly appreciate what you said to round out this live: we ultimately only have ourselves and how we navigate life when it's all said and done.
I personally live similarly by this ideology: nobody will be for me, in any capacity, in the exact manner that I will.
In doing this, I no longer get upset/stressed when generally believed things about human to human relations don't happen in my life.
Please get all necessary rest and recovery!!!🫶
Thank you! I wasn't sure if that got across clearly. So glad you caught it!
I like everything you said in this comment! I do agree and sometimes that's the safest way to be.
Thank you also! I hope you get some R&R too!
Being the scapegoat of my family and discarded last Christmas eve and went no contact they are now starting too hoover and asking about the holidays I haven't any plans too attend but however knowing what I know thinking it was the tryptophan in the turkey making me tired and in fact it's their rotten skin cells falling into the pots and pans falling into the food tip toe very lightly people and bon appetite
Right or they can’t meet in public and I don’t feel safe around them. Yes lol no independent thoughts. They are characters…right lol the views/status. It’s always easier in friend groups
26:25
38:20 Family connected to family. A bad perception.
❤️🩹Here's To Real Love