How Society Sets Women Up to Compete for Men | Deborrah Cooper
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ต.ค. 2024
- Female children are set up to compete with each other for male attention and validation by the age of 12. Men and male identified women promote this agenda by blaming women for their man cheating, abusing them, gaming on or abandoning them, and for not "choosing" to be with them long-term. Women are shamed for being single which creates a fear-based mindset and forces women to pick a man (any man) to avoid being labeled "single and lonely".
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I had a man ask me why I'm not happy? and why I don't have a man? like really I asked him, "who said that I'm not happy?" He said cause I'm single. CRAZINESS
They truly be all on their own jock!
Yes to all of this! It seems like more of a liability than an asset to be in a relationship these days. Black men always say to me I must be "crazy" or something has to be wrong with me because I'm single. And I'm like no, I'm a great person; I'm very sane, and very smart. That's what's saved me from dangerous/ dead end relationships! I feel freer and more confident now being single than I've ever felt in any relationship I've been in.
R S I just think men are waking up to reality and realizing women are a lot happier without them. MEN they literally feed on us just to survive. It's not my problem. Cutting the cord. I just could never stomach putting up with the same shit over and fucking over that other women before me did. It's obviously not working. Which is why we are here. It's not like you can depend on them for any emotional support anyway because they are FAR too detached from themselves. That's why you have GREAT girlfriends for. And let's not forget what they value in themselves the MOST the sex industry has already REPLACED!! they did this to themselves. I'd rather head into extinction then more birthing of degenerative, ignorant, abusive, vile toxic ass males. YES! THIS IS WHERE WE ARE.
R S They be saying the same shit to me, " u ain't crazy or nothing "?
Jasmine Bushby exactly these guys are in a panic because they are realizing women don't really need them. And that's why they come on channels like this that are in no way meant for them and start talking shit in the comments. They are just now starting to wake up and they want to see what we're up to and what we're talking about in our own spaces smh.
Amen!!! Church!
Man listen. I know ppl wonder...how is she so happy without a huzzzzzband??? Like singleness is a disease. Ha! I'd rather wait then end up with one of these fools.
I know that's right!!!!!!!👍👍👍
As a single woman, you do what you want, just like single men do. Women like their freedom too.
I am so glad more bw are telling the truth about the cost to being with the wrong men.
Girls and women clawing at each other is the social equivalent of men competing with each other physically, mentally, for jobs, for status, in sports, etc. But hey at least men can compete over things that have tangible value in our culture. Women are raised to compete over pettiness that has no intrinsic value outside of consumption by a man. So are we surprised when happy go-lucky little girls hit puberty and realize the nightmare? That nobody tells them the truth about? No warnings at all? No wonder the 6th graders are acting out, LOL. I feel like scratchin' a b right now, just thinking about it lol.
Women have to be hip to the game, not to take men too seriously. Do whatcha gotta do, but don't get too caught up.
Unfortunately, this crazy mess happens as we get older too. Old women competing for these crazy dusty men. I would rather be alone than to entertain that nonsense. They can have them. This dating culture is really downright pitiful.
One would think they have better things to do with their time. SMH
@@Debsterism 👍🏿👍🏿
There are also women who get into relationships with guys, get married, have kids after marriage, everything about him seems sound for years; then he cheats on her & her options are to stay (if he doesn't leave her for the OW) with no self-respect, or leave him .. but it's 'you should have chosen better'; it's her fault she's now a single mother .. lol
I'm white but your videos have helped me with my self esteem. Thank you x
You are welcome!
Sadly I had to hear that b.s. often in my teenage years and into adulthood "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Why not?" "Are you gay?" All I wanted to do is live life and focus on my education and working towards achieving my goals and setting new ones and achieving them as well like shit men weren't going extinct so why should that have been a major priority in my life!
Fluffy 1 same here
THIS. So many have thought I was a lesbian because I'm not with a man.. Then shook by my reply: 'no you just ugly,'🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ugh, I hate when people ask me if I'm in a relationship (usually not) and then want to investigate why. I'm just single because I'm single, period. Nosey people are annoying.
I remember when people use to say things like that when I was younger and I always thought they were crazy. But people never tell you that your thinking is valid because your a child but I never let that go and now it's all coming to fruition.
The most devastating movie every made to brainwash black women was Baby Boy. If u seen the movie, u know how it coincides with this topic.
Nina Blaze .. girl yess.. omg i never liked that movie .
that movie is more of a cautionary tale, it was so realistic. and of course in the movie she gets married to that fuckboi in the end and they live happily ever after? lol that NEVER happens!
@@corsicanlulu lol so true. Fuckboys never change in real life
People also feel that if you’re single you’re not qualified to give relationship advice! Smh.
For me, inner peace came when I realized that I could be my own best friend. I could enjoy the pleasure of my own company. I'm better off alone than in a bad relationship. I only wish I could travel through time and teach myself some of the things I learned the hard way. But better late than never, right?
Yes it is better late than never. I've come to understand that same thing
As adults we need to stop blaming others. People are not responsible for our self-esteems and dont owe use anything to boost our egos and self-esteems.
Very informative video . I have seen this behavior up close and personal being from Oakland, California I had several uncles that were pimps who were so slick with manipulation that they could talk the devil out of his pitchfork ! They used women constantly and I grew up seeing this . I often wondered if a man is not providing or protecting , if he is not the breadwinner then exactly why is he such a prize ?
+Blindianswirl Two I wonder the same thing. What good is he?
some women consider him a prize because of his dick/sex skills and only that. some men are only "good" for that and women accept it
I can't stand that either Deborrah. When women have a man up in their house so quickly after meeting them & they have children. Especially lil girls. It ain't that serious to me the fact I have children is more reason to invite me out, he's not coming over my house. We can be friends I'm not looking for nothing more. I love my freedom & having my queen size bed to myself.
+Tonia Holmes I like lying diagonally in my queen sized bed to make sure I take up allllll the room. All of it. Mine!
Deborrah Cooper Lmao
Tonia Holmes what’s the difference between sending your kids or lil girl to school where her teacher is male or female and technically are strangers that passed a basic background check. I still think your logic in many ways is meant to shame a woman and her quick private decisions but it’s so flawed. However it’s your choice how you do things in your house.
Deb. here's another one. What about the women who are married who use the term "My husband" like some kind of sledge hammer? Instead of saying the man's name they ALWAYS say "my husband." I worked one woman nearly 10 years and never knew the husband's name even though she talked about him incessantly!
Girl YESSSS!!!!! Adding it to my list.
LOL, so true. When they were dating and then engaged, he had a name. But after the wedding, it's just "my husband."
Yesss.. I saw a friend the other day who did that, and I met the man wayyy before he was "husband" ... I was like ... get over yourself.
Ikr it's annoying.
ladies, feel free to block any male poster who is getting on your nerves directing dumb comments towards you for attention.
Ms. Cooper, I've noticed women blaming themselves for relationship troubles too.
Meanwhile, the men (single or not) claim it's the women's fault when they can't find dates, long-term relationships, etc.
The gender socialization to blame women is so deep, smh.
I don't know but for some reason i don't mind telling people that i am not in a relationship and if a man feels that i am up for grabs ..i have away to let him know that i am not.I do not lie to men that i am married or "seeing someone to get rid of him ...i tell him the truth.And when women come at me with "you don't have a man?"..I ask her..the man that are involved with ..do you really have him?That does the trick. When ever someone come at you in that manner...put something on their mind.
i remember watching the New Edition Story recently, and Bobby Brown's mother (or one of the other mothers) was talking about how Bobby was now a father, and how "all [those] fast girls" were tempting the boys. uhm, those boys were out HUNTING for girls to sleep with. But i grew up hearing that. Girls were always fast; boys -- nothing bad or disparaging was ever said about them. it was disturbing.
Yup. Little girls grow up hearing that shit, then when she becomes an adult and gets married, she is supposed to magically erase all that shaming and negativity associated with female sexuality, and become a total freak "for her husband" overnight! People don't even think about how they fuck up girls' minds.
Girls are given baby dolls and boys are given trucks. Nuff said.
I never understood the have a boyfriend shtick,even as a kid I was in middle school I didn't get it and I still don't understand it.
Wow this is very true,I had a friend that got married out of fear because she didn't want to be by her salf ,now her husband told her your friend is still by herself....yes and loving it my husband passed away. and I'm living my life I don't have to come home and coffee clean and all that other mess and I'm happy I go and come as I please..now my girlfriend she can't go anywhere do anything with out telling him ,and don't get me started on that. summit thing..and he tells her that's why she dont have a man.I had a man. a good one he is no longer here.I'm happy and having fun dating I don't need a man in my bed every night...I can get some when I. want it lol I don't want some body jumping up and down on me all the time..Lol
Yolanda Salone I feel u on that gurl. I enjoy my freedom & coming & going as I please. Having a man in your bed isn't hard to do if that's what I wanted for a night. I'm good!
🤣🤣🤣
Deborah, I believe it starts with the mental mindset when going out on that first date with a man. What question are you asking yourself? Is it ... Am I compatible with this person? Is he going to bring some advancement to my life? What are his default? OR Is he going to like me? Am I attractive enough? Is he going to think that I cannot cook or (fill in the blank)? If your psychology is what he wants or what he thinks? You are already defeated here! Do not enter a relationship with this mentality.
Heather Forrest YEEESSSSS
Facts your speaking!!
It's all a game to lower your self-esteem.
And 9 times out of 10 the women that do got man is miserable as hell
This video 1000% correct. I wished I could pay for a spot on Time square and play it at the top of every hour. Great one.
Please share the link!
There’s worse things than being alone. I know - I’ve lived some of them. Maybe I’ll send you an email on it, Deb. I think you might find it interesting. A how NOT to, lol. Many thanks for all of your work!
Thank you for posting this, internet trolls do this all the time in comment sections trying to tear down single women.
Lol it's always like "I bet she's single" but I'm thinking she probably has some man up her ass she's saying NO to 😂 people really think the man is the prize these days! Sorry for them 💅
I swear I'm addicted to this channel. I wish I would have learned these things growing up. My mom taught me NOTHING I had to learn the hard way.
You found your way here now though, and for that we are BOTH grateful. 💞
You are about the 15,000th woman to use that exact phrase "I wish I would have learned these things growing up because my family/Mom/parents taught me NOTHING."
Oh man, how many times have we heard that here. It makes me sad that so many young women were basically thrown to the wolves with no information about dating, men and relationships to guide them. These parents are just trifling.
@@Debsterism My mother basically had a "figure it out" almost domineering parenting mindset. Well when she wasn't taking stress out on me🤷🏾♀️. In a sense it worked out I can admit I am overly independent in a sense. But in relationships I've made soooo many mistakes. Thank you so much for this channel SERIOUSLY.
Very glad you are here. Welcome aboard! lol
Yes I think about it even thought I was the only one who noticed it as this is something is seldom spoken about this is commonly portrayed through the media men having affairs men singing songs pertaining to two women and they being the main prize this is sickening many women have made men into a God like....I have a friend who was having an affair with a married man she did not know is wife but had so much negative things to say about her...
Stupid. She is parroting the garbage he told her to make her think she is "saving" him from an evil woman. Please. Women who still fall for that trick are too stupid to even bother with.
@@Debsterism I was that woman until I made the following comment.....If she is so awful and your are that unhappy then why do you leave her and be with me. You what I got???? silence that what!
this is so true...there are times when I asked married women why I didn't have a husband and I would get dismissed all the time (you ain't ready, you need to work on you), knowing that I've done all these things and I'm still single and getting older. yet this is all a bunch or rubbish.
Usually the most average women are married while many of the top tier women are not. Those women just found another average man like themselves. When you are a high quality woman, it is harder because there are not that many high quality men that can match you. These women are the wrong ones to ask that question.
You on a roll. Everyday I come on youtube so just to make sure I didn't miss one.
Yes girl! I am doing a video a day for two weeks. I decided to do that because I have SOOOO MUCH TO SAY!!!
Yeah! My Valentine's Day Gift.
Keep the videos coming Deb. I know I speak for many when I say that you're a tremendous source of inspiration, support and information. You've been spoiling us by cranking out these videos on such a regular that we're going to experience withdrawal symptoms when you cut back..... Love your work!
+Tracie Hunter Awwww, thank you so much Tracie. Just showing my love!
Ladies, having a man is not all that, think about it.
Totally hitting the nail on the head. Great work.
Mrs. Deborrah Cooper keep being REAL & Raw. You Teaching Me So Much...I Appreciate You
You are very welcome.
I love your video's!! You speak nothing but the truth!! Greetings from the Netherlands X
Deb said why why why? 😂😂😂😂
They never have an explanation for the high divorce rates, but always trying shame single women that aren’t married.
I'm always told "you don't act like you need a man"....what does that mean?
I'll drop a 7 min vid. Gives me something to do!
Here is the link! th-cam.com/video/e6vtkLOYuYA/w-d-xo.html
Excellent video Deb! Your a class act!
Thanks T!
Stay woke
Love this message! So many of my friends are settling for nothing ass men just to say they have someone.
I've seen it time & time again
I'm also white! But. I know TRUTH when I hear it! And, this is TRUTH!! I love these videos. And, I do appreciate your honesty!! 💕
Thanks Georgia, and welcome to the channel!
@@Debsterism You are SO welcome, Miss Deborah Cooper!! It is I who thanks you for being brave enough to tell people the truth. 💕
Thanks so much for this video, for all your videos. You remind me of my mom.
@7:17 “miscellaneous stray nigga”. I fell out! 😩😫🤣 Deb you are too funny
Oh I had to time tune in to this one in the midst of your dating tips...😊
How did I miss this video? I have been watching your channel for years. But yeah my parents are educated immigrants and are frankly clueless and constantly shame for being single and childless at 40. Finally I told them they are hurting my self esteem and being toxic and attracting men i like and desire is out of my control and I can't manifest it. It didn't happen and I won't be gaslit by them or society for being single and existing.christ
I used to crank out so many videos a month it was easy to miss some I'd guess. I have slowed wayyy down this year as I continue getting my health together. But I am hopeful after the 1 year mark in March I can ramp things back up slowly to my prior level of production. I am concerned about my stamina for video a day Debruary though. Dr. suggests I modify it and not overwork myself, so I'm thinking of how to make that work. :/
Distance yourself. Let them see less of you
One thousand thumbs up!!!💯
I could listen to this 100 times:-)
Redtady I'm right there with you. Did u see the one entitled " In memory of the last time I gave a F@@k?"
Redtadyg if you really wanna laugh check out "kiss my @SS because you men are stupid. " This one had me screaming for days!
Look at Love and Hip Hop the Peter,Amina, and Tara love triangle situation.
Raquel Li Right!! And dirty feet Pete was the prize?! Not!! He got 11 kids now and his career on a fake me out reality tv show. Lol!!
I don't watch television. Nothing but trash on it. I lose brain cells just hearing about the trash they broadcast .
Liking just by the title! 👏🏾
I like all her videos before I even watch and listen. I KNOW they are gonna be good, lol.
Girl you are funny 😂😂
yes HILARIOUS!!!!!!😂
Single women age gracefully .why? Because they ain’t got men to stress them out .
Deb!! I see you have baby bm stalkers talking shit. Your followers know you love bw an are an outspoken amazing woman! Been following you for years keep doing what you are doing!! We love you!
Miss Deb, while you're on a roll...any vids coming for married women? Pointers, tips on how to get your way, lol!!!!
+yoyo yo hahaha! Not really. My work is primarily directed at the single female market with occasional comments specifically for coupled ladies. Write me and share more info on the situation you're describing so I better understand what you mean.
This is so true💕
Omg this was my mom with my dad let him do whatever and treat her however and she still stayed...sold my Nana's house and gave my dad $30k and he left her and went to Texas after being suspected of child s#x abuse so he left pa and went down to Texas...and my mom still tried to protect him smdh 🤦my dad used to watch my brother shower while my mom sat in her room and did nothing...ugh
OMG what a disgusting situation for your poor brother. No one protected him.
@@Debsterism not his biological father... my mom lied to us saying he didn't want anything to do with him meanwhile my mom was with my dad thinking he was her meal ticket...and with my parents being narcissistic and functional Coke addicts they kept us away from family because they was embarrassed and felt like if no one would help them when they kept getting evicted then no one will help us,so we grew up not really knowing our family and I've barely met my dad side on Texas ..last time they saw me I was 2months old and I'm in my 30s now ... Yes ms.deb I have plenty of story to tell...my brother didn't meet his biological father until he was 12 in a mist of an eviction ,we would stay at my nana house and my nana called my uncle and my brother dad around to her house to beat up my dad once I told her about the abuse we endure at the hands of my father...of course my mom tried to protect my pedo father because my nana wasn't going to allow my dad to beat and abuse him any longer...
Glad you were brave and told it. Good for you!!! 👍🥰
@@Debsterism thank you
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OKAY!!!!
Deb, thanks for sharing.
Another great video!
You cant be serious
+andsanp Why the hell are you on a video for women?
andsanp The very fact a male is questioning this video for women proves Ms.Cooper's point. smh
Crusty nigga kick rocks this ain't for you.
Sounds like a bitter man.
Much needed statistical information. I'm not sure since I listen rather than "watch" I be multitasking...is it possible to link me to where those stats are or link them with your video. I would love to know how to access quality information.
I post exact sources (usually) right on the slide. If you want to know specifics, you would have to actually look at that source.