8 Rules For Loving an INFJ | Season 27 | CS Joseph
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ก.พ. 2025
- Discover your personality type free: www.udja.app/
CS Joseph discusses 8 rules for loving an INFJ.
Was this video impactful for you? Buy me a coffee! ko-fi.com/csjo...
Test, Blog, TH-cam, Coaching, Member, and Discord links: linktr.ee/csjo...
Psychoanalyzing and video games collide:
/ csj0s3ph
Get the solution to bad psychology when it comes to sales and marketing here: ultimatemessag...
Prefer to listen? Find audio versions here:
csjoseph.life/...
Outro: Prismo (Stronger) NoCopyright Sound ncs.io/Stronger
Rule #1 No limits 15:10
Rule #2 Provide acceptance 26:55
Rule #3 Deal with Ti Child 34:54
Rule #4 Loyalty 42:00
Rule #5 Share your hopes and despairs with them; speak of a future with them in it 50:00
Rule #6 Don't enable self-deprecation 51:18
Rule #7 Protect INFJ from bad influences 52:35
Rule # 8 Push them in the right direction / mutual personal growth 56:12
I like infj but I can’t fulfill rule 1 &5 fully for them
-Intp
...amazing...
We love you too, Chase!
@@aishaadam7473 yeah that's a tough one as an INTP myself. Apparently we can do it and have it in us though as CS Joseph talks about us specifically as NTPs taking back the mother of our children in the Bible. I think for any type there will be a couple of those points that are difficult to fulfill (some more than others).
I've struggled so much with getting the INTP in my life to speak with me about how he feels and what he struggles with. He has given me some but not as much as I would like. But I think he does the other things well.
infj deals with difficulties with estj.
very good person, but i just dont know what happened.
We hate flattery, we love Truth. Tell us the truth about ourselves and we'll be grateful to you 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
Noted
I hope this is true, I finally told an INFJ the truth after he’s abandoned me 3 times
When I said noted it was for a woman. I never watched this. We broke up, but behold, my brother is an INFJ. I don't think I can agree with this statement. Truth has been helpful in many cases, but to say INFJs love it is far too broad of a statement. Even if the INFJ accepts it as Truth if they loved it you'd think they'd act on it faster.
I'm an infp woman married to an infj guy for 20 years and we still do it almost everyday. It's one of the best parts of our relationship. He never fails to make me feel wanted☺
still do what
@@lastraven7205 The sexxxxxxxxx
@@lastraven7205have sex.
Obviously sleeping together mate 😂 @lastraven7205
@@lastraven7205 going to the toilet ofcourse
Thank you so much for this series, Chase. Being an INFJ, it feels like you are the ultimate "challenger," and I have grown so much from your videos. I've been in a 5-month long relationship with a mature INTJ, and he does most of these extremely well. I'm the first person he found "worth" asking out, and when he first told me "I love you," he listed a bunch of ways in which he could see a future with me, that resulted in him feeling the need to say it. He always explains what he appreciates about me, and is more loyal than anyone I know (he's a devoted Christian, which, while I am not, I actually believe improves his humility). He went through with asking me out a week after I had hooked up with his ENTP friend because he believed I was a good person, which still makes me melt. He also has the "no limits" because of his shared Se inferior and is somehow extremely patient with hearing out my thoughts. While he's built some great habits from his parents and being an opera singer that have really improved my life, like drinking plenty of water and reading nonfiction before bed, I do see that last rule being the hardest for us in the future, since we enable each other's bad eating and sleep schedule habits. Luckily, seeing my friend go to the gym got me all fired up to start going on my own, and now he wants to join me. I think I'm realizing that for us to be the happiest in the future, I'll need to do what you suggested in your Social Engineering INFJ video, and find all the ways to improve my own life so that I may do that for others, especially him. I never want to have to rely on him to keep me healthy, when he has the same issues I do. Thank you again Chase. I appreciate the constant knowledge you provide.
You forgot rule #1. Don't lie to them. Ever. Can handle a lot of "ugly" truths but even the prettiest of lies is enough to lose our trust for good. Informative video for the most part. I would remember though that sexual partners is but one manifestation of inferior Se. Overindulging with food, driving really fast, drinking & drugs, & partying are some more examples but I definitely agree staying free of negative influencers is the best advice for maturing INFJ's
Truth 🙌
Good point .. I'm INTJ interested in INFJ
So true.
Watching Chase rock back and forth and smoking while saying he had caffeine at 1.75x speed is pretty funny.
Yeah, then he says the cigar (nicotine) will help calm him down, then he starts yelling at the end of the video. Too funny.
Sorry, I was watching at 1.25x
At 3x I was getting dizzy
@@Lev-The-King Yeah that sounds like a bit too much. 😂
I used to be triple progression. After switching to 1.75x I’m permanently stuck in quadruple progression
I take my INFJ to the mall, she really does want everything lol
When an INFJ matures and realises that lust and love are not equal and that a person cannot win the love of another by performing the best sexually then they can really start to look into themselves and what they actually want in life. They will realise that falling truly in love is not something which is temporary so it cant happen quickly unless they truly connect on a spiritual and subconscious level with another person. Their soul mate. And there can be many soul mates but not all will be sexual relationships. Its important for the INFJ to be selective in who they choose as a partner because if they choose wrong they end up damaging themselves further by suffering harm from the other person or being unloyal and then feeling even worse for harming someone elses feelings. Continuously hurting others only takes one on a downward spiral which causes them to feel constant self pity and 'Im a bad person, Im so messed up' when it really doesnt have to be like that at all. Just takes being mentally mature and learning quickly from ones mistakes making sure not to repeat them again which should be easy enough to do because we recognise patterns in behaviour which help to predict outcomes. Because we mirror behaviour its so important to find someone who meets our needs mentally and emotionally to avoid feeling trapped or stagnated in a relationship.
💯
Not every infj is like that. I am one and I am saving myself for marriage but yes if I am not religious, I probably wouldn't.
@@GrimPassenger people are more complex than these silly labels tho. There's gotta be more complex than that
I am an INFJ I also didn't sleep around. I got married at 19 to an ESTJ and been married 11 years. Happily i might add 😊
@@GrimPassenger Não mesmo. Sou mulher INFJ e também sou cristã, mas mesmo que não o fosse, não sairia por aí me esfregando com qualquer cara, não.
Antes de querer me entregar sexualmente para alguém, desejo estabelecer uma conexão profunda. Caso contrário, não tenho vergonha alguma de dizer que poderia sim levar uma vida sem sexo, embora eu tenha bastante libido.
Não faz parte de mim, relacionamentos passageiros e me entregar para alguém do qual eu nunca mais veria novamente, criaria um apego capaz de me machucar muito mais do que se eu não tivesse me entregado.
Also did not sleep around but I think that's because I was always more in love with who I dated, so the relationships didn't last. But I had my first time with my husband and we've been together for 8 years :) high school sweethearts
A musician named marina is an INFJ and her album electra heart represents INFJs so so much.
One of my favorite lines are
"i'm done with trying to have it all, and ending up with not much at all" - Ni hero
"But baby i'm the one who left you you're not the one who left me" si demon (i guess se inferior would make more sense. I hate my ti demon)
"Not everyone is out to screw you over, maybe yeah just maybe they just wanna get to know you" - Ne nemesis
"Yeah i know i got a big ego, i really dont know why its such a big deal tho" - Ti child
"Pick a personality for free when you feel like nobody, born witha void hard to destroy with love or hope" - Fi critic
"Yeah you could say that my life is a mess, but i'm still looking pretty in this dress" - Se inferior
“'Cause, I feel like I'm the worst
So I always act like I'm the best”
@@alinaulmaskulova2372 cant forget tfj. I didnt include tfj cause i dont think its very infj. Maybe it is but i have not analyzed it. But her father abandoning her and her Se inferior's to that can be seen in tfj.
@@pinklasagna8328 Maybe! I’m actually not too familiar with her personal life, but I think her infj-ness comes through in most of her music, because I guess it has to, since that’s her primary type. I do have to say that Electra Heart had that intensely estp subconscious/aspirational vibe to me (aside from the infj ego, of course). Her early albums were actually the thing that helped me to truly understand the “essence”of estp subconscious. I definitely think she was very subconscious-focused in the earlier albums, and I LOVE it:)
I was so happy to see your comment because I also love to spot those moments where her type really comes through in the music!
@@alinaulmaskulova2372 yes. Type always somehow spills to your work. Analyizing EH made me realize how authentic she is with that album. Its great
I like Marina too. Her song "Oh No!" is how I discovered her. I thought about this post as I listened to her albums. Songs on this topic in particular (aside from any other INFJ thing), from each of her albums would be:
1. The Outsider
2. Bubblegum Bitch
3. Primadonna Girl
4. Homewrecker
5. Sex Yeah
6. Teen Idle
7. How to be a heartbreaker
8. Froot
9. I'm a Ruin,
10. Blue
11. Better than that
12. Believe in love
13. Too Afraid
14. Goodbye
My personality have never felt this understood by another type. This is wisdom. Thanks.
Had missed this before. CS Joseph, this is one of the best videos I've come across on your channel. It's been two years, and I still think to myself- how can a single man speak so much truth? I'm happy your son is an INFJ, and you started this all for him.
Sir, if the goal of this episode was to make infjs fall in love with you, then you’ve absolutely succeeded. Can’t think of any other person on internet that I love and trust more than you 💛
Thank you for all that you do, and for all the care and love that you have for each of the types. The way you see and call out all the dark and the light in people, while helping humans better understand and support each other, is moving the world to such a cool place.
The modern society is so lucky to have you. Guess being a true gem of this world must be an entp thing
@Raiden,
Well said! I love Chase too!
I Concur. You did it right the first time. Well done.
100% Agree
"INFJ women have the highest number of sexual partners" Meanwhile here I am, INFJ female who was still virgin until 26 lol (who had a lot of men interested for some reason prob. superficial, so rule out desirability factor) and only ever been with 2 persons in that way (and not from lack of options)
I think he meant to say his INFJ ex 😂
You sound like Infp to me. INFPs are very picky.
@@qasimimtiaz9668 theres a lot of infjs with less or no body count dude. Stop taking everything someone says with no proof as the "truth". Do you realise how insulting and unfair that is to infjs who have integrity? He has mentioned several times anyway that NJ women are picky and prone to rejecting people.
@@aladdout9454 pessimistic Ni/Si are most picky
@@qasimimtiaz9668 first, not true. Second, so? Infps are optimistic Si. Third, that doesn't explain why infjs have to have a high body count when many actually don't. Do you forget that cultures and infj lifegoals of integrity exist? Maybe get your head out of your ass and get to know people before believing someone blindly like a cult. You can be supportive and still disagree on some things.
The way you just hang up these stories and experiences is so entertaining, rly like listening to these authentic analyses
Profound. You have helped me understand myself more than anyone. Love you and your work.
INFJ female here.
Great video! I loved it! I sent it to my INTP husband (who hates this personality stuff 😅) Bc it’s dead on! Everything you said is just about everything I’ve tried to tell or express to my husband in our 16 years of marriage that quite frankly he has only just started understanding in the last two years 😩.
He has finally started striving for excellence which makes me proud 💙. He is acutely aware of rule#7 and he is a knight in this area! He tries so hard to protect me and tell when I’m being taken advantage of or when I should cut someone out of my life Bc they are a bad person! Love this about him 💙.
Anyway I love listening to you, more so than any other TH-camr who dissects/describes personality types. Your videos do frustrate me at times but it’s always truth I hear from you. I always learn something and you have given insight and understanding to myself and other types which I apply in my everyday life.
I’m a better leader because of your shows/podcasts too by understanding my teams types. It helps me put them in positions for them to have the greatest possibility to succeed! Thank you. I’m just a huge fan🤗.
My son is an ENTP! Love ENTPs.
I just love everything you said ... I'm an infj (22y/o) and I'm always worried about marriage I don't feel like It's the right thing for me or if I could handle it ... So seeing you married for that long and seeing this beautiful family is a really wonderful thing to see❤️❤️ so thank you ❤️🙏🙏
Intps I know do not take MBTI seriously too.
@@gabriella-md-art Thank you for your kind words and I’m glad you find my story inspiring. 💙
@@amandabeck1498 did you get him to watch the who is the intp video?
INTPs are kind of either or. Many don't believe in personality typing because they don't like to be pigeon holed. However others INTPs like it because it's a system they can follow to improve their understanding of others. INTPs are kind of in the middle. There are other types who could care even less about personality profiling than INTPs lol!
"No limits"and "want it all" is spot on!
*For me, an Fi Hero, I measure my success on how much of a choice I have to keep my legs closed. It is a blessing, a privilege and an honor I hope I'll have until the day I depart from this hellscape.*
"For me, an Fi Hero, I measure my success on how much of a choice I have to keep my legs closed."
Same, and same for all INFj's that I know :)
this is a uniquely stupid sentence
Sounds like you are describing how to mostly love inmature and unhealthy INFJs, possibly INFJs with traumatic experiences. I do think a few of your tips are applicable to healthy/ mature INFJs as well but we have a more developed Ti, learnt self-love and esteem, and the most important: boundaries. But you are absolutely right about being loyal. We expect you to Always be there! We need a rock in our lives! I loved a man very much once, he was disloyal and that was the end; I walked away. Betrayal is the worst you can do to us, probably even more than rejection.
There is no such thing as unhealthy/healthy just people's who when they need/want something they expressed it in destructive ways or constructive way. All INFJs have the exact same potential of evils.
I'm an INTP with an INFJ. She told me to watch this video. Glad I did.
I love the way you present this in a true INFJ attitude and fashion!😂
Wow, I love the passion you speak with. Thanks for caring about INFJ’s.
If I ever get in a relationship, I will send this video to them. There is no way I could literally put into words in how to handle an INFJ like you can. You broke it down into bit size pieces. 🎯
The part about playing God really resonated for me. As INFJ, I think a good rule, at least for me, when dealing with self-esteem and worth would be "Do unto yourself as you would do unto others." Often I place the people around me on pedestals, being deferential to their opinions and moods. But I am also a person who deserves to be listened to and considered. It is, quite honestly, hypocrisy and "playing God" for me to declare everyone else as having at least some kind of value and myself alone as possessing none. Thanks, C.S. I've been watching a lot of your work recently, and it has been immensely helpful in better understanding myself. I thought the pop version of MBTI was dumb and shallow, but you've shown me not only my true type but just how much that can tell me about myself.
Don't complement them until you have a solid reason. It's soo true, I have never seen anyone found out about that!
Why is this insanely accurate lol Thank you! For putting in the effort to make this. Really does help see yourself from another person perspective.
Thank you Chase. You nailed it man. One can see that INFJs are very important to you and that you mean well.
Loves INFJs, so he makes this dizzy video setup with horrible background noise. Thank you for the content though. Gonna go sleep alone now.
Excellently presented. The infj will be impressed you took this much interest to understand them at this visceral level
I’m an INFP, my husband is an INFJ, he does NOT like to be challenged, it’s like I’m insulting him as opposed to trying to have a discussion…
Same Here my Boyfriend hates it.
Chase, i have misjudged you. And i am truely sorry for that. Listening to you and feeling your authenticity has shown me who you truely are. The sharing of your knowledge and experience has given me a much better understanding about myself. For this, i thank you.
This is the best video that I have seen from you. Deeply appreciate your work. It is meaningful to me and brings a lot of insight into my ENFJ-ness blindspot(s), albeit this is for/about INFJs. You are so self expressed and authentic with/in your energy.
This video crystalizes my ENFPs vice of depravity. I lost my oldest brother to an OD 7 years ago before losing my younger sister to one 5 years later. All they wanted was to spend time with me, they had alot to deal with (plenty each), when I'd just always choose hanging with friends, smoking weed, video games and whatnot... I knew it too. I felt it when i would drive over to my friends after my sister (who didn't really have peoples to chill with) would ask to chill. Started ignoring my brother 3 weeks before he passed (we were very close {sister too..}), too lazy and then too embarrassed to work on clearing the air with him, all about nothing he even specifically did, just some interpersonal relationship stuff that i decided i had to discuss with him; just didn't know how, and didn't bother working too hard on it. I "focused" on the small pictures while "pretending" to be oblivious to the bigger one.. I chose depravity before loyalty. To some I may sound like the shittiest sibling, and I've definitely felt like that before. To others it may sound like I'm living with guilt; and while that may be partially true, i try to direct and transform said energy into something positive. I'll use it to feel gratitude when i feel depraved, use it to strengthen relationships with myself and others; people i care about, friends and family, and even people i wouldn't necessarily know.
I hope this can go to show what an ENFPs depravity mode can be like, and also what an INFJs need for loyalty is. Or helpful to anyone in any way. Keep on spreading the good vibes and the love yall✌🏼❤️
This was an awesome video. I feel so understood as an INFJ. You're a truly great guy Chase.
16:00 we may not do anything with the power of being unlimited, but we do not like limits, it creates sad things in our brains almost instantly
As an INFJ, i dont find i have the Ho complex. I might of had the need for sex when i was ypunger because i had trauma. But as i got older sex and depth became one. And then theres my moral compass of someone not deserving of my sex. Ill wait to have genuine intimacy over random sex.
I do like unlimitless but thats across the board of life not just sexual.
Another way to put "setting up for failure" is to be appeased. One of my biggest pet peeves "to be appeased" ugh 😑
I love the angsty all black shady looking Chase in this. The rocking back and forth in the swing is the bow on top. Anyways, thanks for this lecture. I'm looking forward to hearing all of them.
The passion he gives is amazing
WoW! I'm beyond impressed. You definitely prepared well this one❤! You absolutely have a special place in my heart as well.
I was surprised to learn about "high body count", I've been faithful my whole life and always tried to avoid people who could corrupt me but I certainly get the temptation factor - it's there, I'm just aware of it and able to control it, apparently. Everything else you said applies completely!
That part really kills me, it's just the whole life dream 43:31 (and, true - that is the greatest pain!). Now after divorcing my ISTJ, surely will show your video to my new chosen one if I find him.
I envy your INFJ friends that they belong in your circle, I hope they appreciate you and never leave!
I'm also very thankful that you exist, gives me hope too. Literally! 💯
P.S. If there is something on ENTP-INFJ relationship, I hope to find it on your channel. I've recently started to get to know this type and seems like it's the only one that could actually be a good fit, provided emotional maturity, of course!
It’s on csjoseph.life/members
After viewing this to it's completion I can say with the utmost confidence that it's the best of your videos I've seen. Spot on.
INFJs do want it all, so badly that we feel it in our molecules. And yes, abandonment is our most crippling fear.
As far as your ex Ande (apologies if I'm misspelling) goes, if memory serves she's an INTJ. In addition to Ni hero not being able to let go, INxJ women typically are intelligent and creative, go out of their way to be 9s and 10s physically, are fascinating and deep as the Mariana Trench, and their prowess in the bedroom is unmatched. But they worry that as men get older (specifically ENxP men) they'll become less idealistic and more realistic, sacrificing excellence for someone who simply treats them better and is more "domestic". I've seen this happen with men that I've loved, and truly I have no one to blame but myself. If I didn't display so much typical INFJ paranoia involving fidelity who knows what could've been.
Pessimistic Fe love is slow to grow but also almost never dies after being established.
Thank you so much. I love my INFJ husband. I am an ENFP. I love my INFJ. This really hit me ♥️
Wanting everything now is so true. The day I learnt that I can have anything but not everything was a really sad day. Therefore having someone to be able to do everything together with is so important. Thank you for the lecture ~
You misjudge us here slightly. INFJs are constantly on the look for the genuine authentic person with whom we can have emotional mental and physical chemistry all or nothing approach who can go to the depth with us to understand life harsh truth and its beauty as well. Sexual chemistry is necessary but we are Sapiosexual and have eyes for only for the one who meets us on all those 3 level as our ultimate life partner but the problem is people only see us with sexual lenses that sadden us even more and we play that role when we see them so broken that it breaks our heart too and also because they fail to understand us beneath the surface not having time to understand such complex creatures plus sometimes we are so sacrificial we sacrifice ourselves for our partners sake. We give too much until we deplete and mostly got taken advantage of in a relationship. Its when people abuse our good nature that we create a box sit inside make ourselves lonely not to get hurt again and again as we love so hard and endure so much once broken it takes us years to heal sometimes a lifetime. Don't come near us if you don't genuinely love us, love us not lust us.
Chase, I as an INFJ really love entps. They are one of the only types that can hand my Ti child debate style. It's lovely
Brother you had me streaming some tears on the loyalty rule. You couldn’t have been more spot on. I can feel your pain that my INFJ sisters caused you. I can feel that pain bro. Sorry.
INFJ here. I will admit that I want it ALL!!!
1 minute into the lecture and I can't believe my ears--you don't think INFJs like you? Speaking as an INFJ woman ENFPs and ENTPs have always been my favorite; we embrace the strangeness and intellectual freedom that typically embody these types.
Wow I never thought that INFJs had to handle this kind of hardship (probably because of my Se trickster). Thanks chase you differentiate between INTJ/INFJ that helps a lot.
As an INFJ woman...This is GREAT! I LOVE THIS! What we could never share with a man.
The Meyers test told me I was INFJ. Chase's test told me I was INTJ. While I could agree with 2 or 3 points in this video I definitely felt like I was finally understood in the INTJ video. I couldn't even get mad at the negative aspects lol. I don't show up.
Shit. Never watched you before. I'm an infj woman, 11 mins in and now I'm in love with you.
Good stuff. Lust?- Guilty. Listening to me?- If no, than I start to view that person as not actively engaged, or even disengaged. Challenged- Yes. Of no, I start to suspect that person is hampering me- Simply using what I offer for their own benefit, and withholding their contribution in order to set me back.
As an INFJ woman, I find you EXTRAORDINARILY off-putting for an absolutely unknown reason, but the content is pretty good. Appreciate the investment.
I love your work, I love the ENTPs...but, I think she knows that you are talking about her. I also dig the children playing and having fun in the background...their laughter is pure joy.
~INFJ-A
INFJ-T - I was anxious throughout the video, because of the background action. I even thought I heard some people getting into a fight!
I really appreciate Mr. CS Joseph .He taught me a lot about myself and how to understand and value people. ❣️
Infj here … DUDE you made me cry 😭❤️
14:20 Same, that's what has always been hypocritical about me. I always expect INFJs to be completely honest with me, but when they do, it sometimes hurts my feelings, lol. But I love it in the long run. Short term, it hurts.
Last comment lol. 31:40 easier said than done... it's like just take it!!!
NiTI (child) Seems to create reason where non exists.
As an INTJ, I can get exceptionally annoyed when some ones input has no application in the real world.
I'm always shocked with these videos. It's fascinating that someone can actually understand me.
This lecture hits so deep man😌
I seriously hate how complicated we are, it's exhausting.
Been waiting for this!
You're truly amazing !! 😍 I always find myself motivated and emotional at the same time after watching your videos.
Is CS Joey trying to seduce all the infjs with his cigar, swing, and hoodie?
Damn straight
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I appreciate this episode chase, great work.
27:40 This seems to be a potential clash between systematic and interest types. Systematic types might complement for no specific reason (giving for the sake of giving)
INFJ Love in a nutshell: Ride or Die, soul bound
It just hit me that the 8 rules of loving each type are based on the 4 conscious and 4 unconscious functions 🤦
Hosea was in the place of God and Gomer represented Israel as a people and they were playing the harlot chasing after other gods and God was demonstrating his grace and mercy and forgiveness, for his beloved.
🔥Thank you so much my loyal ENTP. 🔥May the light of all INFJs always shine around you for your wisdom and love.
Ok, I've been loyal to my ENTP spouse for our entire 20 years of marriage.
Thanks for bringing out my NF, missed it
“St. Paul was a ENTJ serial killer” 😂 So accurate.
Hi Chase, thanks so much for putting so much time into this. It’s very evident.
In my opinion ENTPs are the perfect candidate for displaying ideal masculine and alpha traits because of ISFJ subconscious and INTJ shadow. Then on top of that, 3x systematic competence allows them to be successful in anything that interests them so they can move about the world as they want. I agree about the connection with envy and attractiveness as well, it would make sense then why so many ENTPs become the most popular entertainers (especially the men).
I also don’t mind the anecdotals featuring INFJs negative traits. I’ve always said negative feedback pushes me to be better. I don’t want to be stagnant otherwise, I’m preference for being challenged. Your content and talks have really pushed me to be better. I know I’m not consistent but my appreciation is. I can’t watch a lecture without mentioning that. Working towards some solid outcomes from the growth I’ve achieved since I’ve learned what I have 🙏🏽
FINALLY BEEN WAITING
Even though i am enfp and my compatibility rate is like gold but why not watch another 8 rules for love for them
INFJ here. Almost 37, and I have had only one sexual partner in my lifetime. But this probably has to do more with two factors: I have an ESFJ mom who has had "many" relationships and sexual experiences with narcissistic men, drug addicts...... I'm not against having a relationship, but it really isn't something that I actively seek. My youngest sister is the same way. Experiences, convictions, these things count. I am 1w2, so maybe this also gives me more division between the normal INFJ type which is usually an enneagram 4. I try to avoid bad decisions, like the plague. INFJs across the board tend to speak of an inner critic, but I think that the inner critic of the type 1 has even higher standards than the 4. I also notice that in the times we live now, there are more drug users, and people who turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms. I've never known drugs to help solve relationship problems. When my biological parents were together, they both did drugs together at a certain period in their marriage - and they thought the drugs were helpful to them, but in reality it was causing them even more dysfunction, until the relationship was no longer sustainable. Our vices tend to get us into trouble. Usually it's the love of the vice, which takes precedence over the relationship, from what I observe in people. There is also the problem of one-sided love, which is what the prophet Hosea was experiencing, and was a depiction of what God was having to go through with His people. They would go back and forth from loyalty to disloyalty, though that first Covenant, was a covenant where loyalty was required. And ultimately mankind could not keep their side of that Covenant with God, and that is what the Old Testament concluded, but then it also speaks of the hope, the strong person who would be able to sustain that Covenant, and we become faithful covenant keepers really only through Him. He doesn't have our vices, our flaws, our failures. He is the bridge in that relationship that we could not maintain, and in that story, not only is Israel Gomer, but we are also Gomer.
Lead me not to temptation, I know a shortcut and have a membership. I’m not influenced beyond my own wants, and no type of manipulation goes without my notice. Whether or not I go for the ride depends on how I’m feeling in the moment.
I have an INFJ sister Im super close to and the compliment one is spot on. She has a really low self esteem and will ask me if she looks ugly a lot. Shes actually super beautiful but she doesnt believe me. Im an INFP and my brain works generally so its hard to provide specific examples in the moment to the level that shell listen. Does anyone have advice for how I can get better at this?
I feel like my Fe is so strong that I always accomodate to another's energy. That's why we can be described as chameleons.
INTJs tend to have an avoidant attachment style which primarily fears rejection. INFJs tend to have an anxious attachment style which fears abandonment. Good job picking that up!
Most of us are actually fearful avoidants. We deal with both sides of that craptacular coin. Explains a lot.
disagree. Both types seem to have both.
FINALLY!!!
totally watching this at lunch today!!!
Great video, watching this with my INFJ wife (she hates you but agrees to what you have to say). This stuff is really applicable in our relationship, and helps with our general life gameplans. I'm an intp.
I got a good deal on her from her pimp..lol
bruh💀🤣🤣🤣
infjs tend to hate estjs, so yeah it explains a lot
@@BigPapa64469 what explains a lot?
What’s ur mbti type I’m curious about it
@@saraalmajed8877 me?
Chase this was so great! It's crazy how spot on this is
For me, rule #5 is more important than rule #1, because ENTPs don't know about their future, and I kinda wanna be certain before I make a decision and give it my all.
Also, I can't relate to your "lust" part of rule #1. I had only slept with my ISTP husband till I got married (stayed virgin till marriage), and after the divorce the second person that I slept with is my ENTP bf. I'm nearly 30 now. Had enough opportunities, but not really interested in sleeping with "many" men.
However, I do realate with the part of wanting everything. I have a hard time sticking with my career and hobbies, because I want to have it ALL. So, I jump from one interest to another, learning a bit of everything, but not sticking with anything. This is one of the greatest obstacles in my career.
was there a specific reason for the divorce with istp?
@@aladdout9454 Yeah. He was physically violent with me. Also lied a lot.
@@kittyblossom7342 I'm glad you are happier now❤️ fuck that stp noise
INFJs, how can an INTP learn to let go? I fell in love with a beautiful young INFJ lady before the pandemic, but the feeling wasn’t mutual and we haven’t spoken since lockdown was announced while in 12th grade. I have been obsessed with learning everything about INFJs, likely in the hopes that one day I will be successful in “winning” an INFJ’s heart. Her warmth was something unlike anything I’ve ever seen before, and her genuine smile while wearing a red dress melted me. I have been crying so much recently and need to do something. I have gone on a mission to try to learn some of the empathy that she has as it was so special and I want to give that gift back to others. I feel like a small part of me still clings onto hope that someday I will be enough and I can finally “convince” her to fall in love with me. I know it’s illogical, but I don’t know how to process these feelings and let myself move on. I am trying to learn how to love myself and carry forward some of the lessons learned from our experience. I know she wouldn’t want to see me still frequently sobbing over her years afterwards. It’s great that I want to love but I deserve to love myself as well, while also giving all of myself to someone who truly loves me back.
I sometimes feel like I switch from the most detached to the most feeling of people. I have been afraid of vulnerability for a long time, and it’s important to try to step out of that shadow. Si child can get stuck sometimes. I am also suspected of having ADD and have heard that some feel a heightened sense of rejection.
Thanks for reading 🙂 (Fe),
James - 22 y/o INTP 5w6 male
The Healing of a Boy with a Demon: On the next day, when they came down from the mountain, a large crowd met him. There was a man in the crowd who cried out, "Teacher, I beg you, look at my son; he is my only child. For a spirit seizes him and he suddenly screams and it convulses him until he foams at the mouth; it releases him only with difficulty, wearing him out. I begged your disciples to cast it out but they could not." Jesus said in reply, "O faithless and perverse generation, how long will I be with you and endure you? Bring your son here." As he was coming forward, the demon threw him to the ground in a convulsion; but Jesus rebuked the unclean spirit, healed the boy, and returned him to his father. And all were astonished by the majesty of God.
The AD(H)D community is great! You will feel at home. A bunch of kids in adult bodies, immature and childish - you will never get bored!
I'm an INFJ not yet officially diagnosed but I'm in the process of getting one.
In any case, I'm in love with a young INTP woman who recently got the AD(H)D diagnosis. It made me reflect that I might have the exact same issues.
Oh btw, I've been obsessed with learning everything about INTPs because of her! The INTP and INFP are my favorite types! But most INFP women have their head in the sand as CSJ expresses it! At least to my experience... INTP women have an intelligence that I can't comprehend.
I can recommend the book, Scattered Minds by Gabor Mate, about AD(H)D. It outlines the reasons for why we feel rejection so strongly.
First step is to see yourself as a young child, 1 year of age or about. Some parts of your brain has really not grown into adult emotional maturity!
Some other important points - you are stuck in seeking external validation. That is why you can't let go!
You live in a magic world where TIME does not exist! Until your level of anxiety is taking over you wishful (childish) thinking and you start to get things done. I was late I think 100% of the time throughout public and high school. Everything was 100% disorder and chaos every morning. Over the years I've learned to be on time, I just plan to be 15 minutes early and end up on time.
For a person with AD(H)D there are only 2 states of time - "Now" or "Not now". Time blindness is a serious issue!
People with AD(H)D can't learn from observing other people fail, it never internalizes! AD(H)D people will have to learn it the hard way.
All people with AD(H)D lack self confidence! We can't develop it so we become people pleasers (craving external validation). We have a void inside that we want other people to fill!
The path forward is therapy and perhaps treatment. You need to start developing those parts of you that are underdeveloped. But the problem is that they can only be developed to a point, so you will have to rely on all sorts of external help, anti-planing strategies, sticker notes etc...
I really recommend you do your own research on the matter - don't trust the experts! Or at least if you believe you might have it and one expert disagrees, go seek another one! That's important!
That diagnosis could very well be that thing that will turn your life around for the better!
Then you won't feel so bad for "failing at normal" as it's called...
Thank you for sharing it with us. The most touching video I have ever seen.
This is quite scary... But essentially true... We Infjs wanted it all, we want option A with a side of option B
A bit uncomfortable for sharing it with my husband lol
that was badass af
Rule #7. Mkay, do NOT try to arrange an INFJ's environment. The best way to assure my shutting the door on my relationship with you is to intervene, to "manage" my contacts with other people, to effectively manipulate my environment, even if it's "for (my) own good." Collaborate WITH me, hooray! Do it despite my wishes or behind my back? No, that's the route to permanent nonforgiveness. Never ever ever trespass my agency.
Rule #8. Kinda triggering the way you put it, but true. lol Competition maybe overstated, but then again I was super competitive as a kid. I may have unlearned it because I prefer only to compete with my own past, not other people.
My son and I. Infj and he's an Entp. We get on so well
Body count is one and yes I’m pretty sure I’m an INFJ based on the type grid. 🤷🏻♀️
Perhaps the world is sometimes a cruel, dark place indeed. If we were to give redemption to the lord however, then like with the INFJ, we could gain nirvana.
I wanna say thank you for this video tho. In the past I questioned your adoration for us but this truly makes me believe you love us. If I had a man like you in my life who would be honest as you are in this video even if he has a personality like yours I would love him so hard that I would be as loyal as the prophet to Gomer. I thank you for your adoration for us and you are kinda giving me a different perspective on love and the masculine ideal. You're low-key amazing. Subscribed.
Thanks bro, and yes, I do love you.
There is some subtle INFJ roasting is going on as well 😆
Rule #7 im a bullshit detector. I never want to be protected from the world. Ill discern what i want in my life, what i want to overthink about. Ill be annoyed by someone thinking im not capable of independent thinking. Im least easily influenced
broooooo, this was hella fire!!!! Love ur energy sending good vibes!
I'm amazed how they're all right
I know I am always going back and forth but im pretty sure I am an INFJ. Anyway, I am almost only interested in you because you are critical. You earn my love by challenging me.
If going to www.udja.app doesn't work, download the free type grid companion at csjoseph.life and work through that, you'll get your answer. Or if you're impatient you can always get a 15 min typing session.
@@CSJoseph Im so glad you still have the 15 min option~ Thanks for the content!
@@CSJoseph thankyou Chase, I am experienced with your stuff, I am just a little retarded when it comes to seeing myself. I think Im an INFJ. I chalk it up to being so damned subconcious focussed for a decade that it made me indecisive with it.