Reading books about trauma so that I can forget about my own trauma!!!!!!! :)
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ต.ค. 2024
- Here's a monthly wrapup of all the books I read in February, ranging from traumatized mermaids, bad Tinder dates, and murderous servants. I'm switching to the regular Book of the Month now, which means you can use code READWITHCINDY to get your first box for $9.99: bookofthemonth...
(GIVEAWAY is now closed. Congrats to Ashley for winning this month's box!)
BOOKS I READ
📕 02:00 - The Deep: www.bookdeposi...
📕 05:23 - The Nickel Boys: www.bookdeposi...
📕 08:49 - Dreams From My Father: www.bookdeposi...
📕 11:19 - Octavia's Brood: www.bookdeposi...
📕 12:13 - How Long 'Til Black Future Month?: www.bookdeposi...
📕 13:19 - Queenie: www.bookdeposi...
📕 18:48 - The Confessions of Frannie Langton: www.bookdeposi...
BOOKS I MIGHT READ NEXT
The Diviners, the 2nd Harry Potter book, The Couple Next Door, The Guinevere Deception, Men We Reaped, Tell the Truth & Shame the Devil, The Wives, A Heart So Fierce and Broken, An Extraordinary Union
BOOKTUBER SHOUTOUTS
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👍 1 like = 1 chocolate macaron
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MISC LINKS
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DISCOUNTS
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CREDITS
🎵 music: cutepink - lukey
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Sometimes I feel bad about my bleached hair, then I look at Cindy and I feel better ,
I deserve this shade
*rOaStEd*
Uuh, that's harsh! ..i do think the tone isn't right for her.. some time ago i asked for a Pink hair switch but couldn't convince her. I will have to prove my point with a Photoshop?!
I am not sure about how healthy it is for the roots but Cindy looks great and color is beautiful,I say if Cindy loves it then that's the most important
Aww thanks for the sweet comments, don't worry I'm not offended lol, this roast was almost as good of a roast as my hair so I had to pin it 😂 I bleach and cut my hair myself so it's definitely not the healthiest but I've long given up on that
Cindy: reads all these intelligent sounding books
Me: hides all the trashy fanfics that stop me from reading these books
BOOKS ARE BOOKS
You do you boo
Hey, honestly, some fics out there are better than some books out there. You just need to have a talent at finding those really shitty ones, like Cindy here.
I've read 300,000 word fanfic better than any published novel it be like that sometimes
Tbh I’ve read fanfics that were better then the source material
Hearing Cindy talk about books is my coping mechanism.
Awwww 🥺♥️
Me too!! 😆
Honestly me too haha
Samee
@@GINSHOTGUN dude I see u everywhere
cindy said annoying people rights
It's important for me to stand up for myself too
@@withcindy thank you for standing up for me, i am now free to flourish in all my annoying glory
Cindy: I read entirely adult books
Me: *Holding my trashy YA* ............can't relate
Don't worry my next video will be about a trashy YA
Lol same, I read the entire twilight series last month
Victoria I read every book in the throne of glass series except the last one last month-
I just
I stopped
I spent 40 something hours on it I can’t do this anymore-
@@withcindy I'm waiting for that serpent and dove video!!
When your asian girlfriend reminds you of yellow macarons 😍😍😍😍
NoooooooooOooooOoo
😂😂😅
LOL DKJDFJ
Lemon
Omg I laughed so hard I thought i might asphyxiate 🤣😂😂😳
What the duck kinda comparison is chocolate macaroon? What, he was crumbly dry and stuck to your teeth? Like????
She was comparing the main character's skin color to a chocolate macaroon lol llllll
Just another art person honestly tea macaroons are over ratted!!!!
Rebekah Grace I think all macaroons are overrated to be honest, I thought I would like them because I like meringue but like it’s just meh to me
[insert Jodie Foster gay silence meme]
Just another art person I love them-particularly if the filling is good, like a really nice buttercream-but honestly comparing POC to food is kind of a gross practice /:
"the moment i saw you, you reminded me of a chocolate macaroon"
we´re of to a great start
Not sure how I feel about that
i would be a potsticker
@@withcindy I think you resemble Donald Trump more
Now that's romantic. "the moment I saw you, I was reminded of Donald Trump..
"I get blue balls from it because it's over"
this is the kind of quality content I come here for
That's a literary form of blue balls
That title is a big ass mood
isnt it always
Is someone going to tell her there’s a new SJM book out?
Whaaat?
No one tell her. We cant put her through that again.
Don't tell me
@@hannah41292 Yeaaahhhh its her first "adult" book as opposed to YA
@@stephaniedla6759 good that you put adult in "" because we all know that that book is not really adult fantasy
adult books - this channel is about to get vulger and I'm scared
not THAT kinda adult
Or IS it? * Eye waggle*
Lmao, I’m always scared when I click on one of Cindy’s videos but that doesn’t stOp mE
"we are all annoying in our own way and we are getting through it" so true. I find that some characters annoy me more than others but in the end no one is not annoying, even us :D
Very true, I'm learning to accept myself being annoying and just focus on at least being good to other people lol
Books are my coping mechanism, too. I feel you Cindy.
we're a support group
@@withcindy here's some more support for you and you don't have to read 300+ pages for it: you have money, so use it. as someone who has serious developmental trauma and as someone who's been working on it for two years, very deep painful, shadow work, with definitely no income like yours, i've still found a way to actually heal my own shit. everytime you use the word 'trauma' in your video titles now i wanna slap the shit out of you, partly because people like you get to throw that word around while others like me who suffered deep injustices and sexual abuse as a child by their own parents suffer in silence and have to SCRAPE to find healing paths because no one is ready to face the dark, dark shit of this world, no matter what they say. so, find a god damn therapist who focuses on the body (not no dumb analytical talky talky bullshit) and also focuses on empathetic transference between therapist and patient. and look up ORAL CHARACTER STRUCTURE. there, i've done some of the work for you. i can't even click on your shit anymore because people like you get to use the word 'trauma' as a headlining joke. JUST FUCKING STOP IT.
@@Fyrtenheimer hey this is an absolutely wild thing to say to someone you literally do not know?? i just happened to stumble across her videos today and have no vested interest here, which is why i can objectively tell you that you're wildly rude and make a lot of baseless assumptions about a total stranger and her background here. if her wording or the way she chooses to cope bothers you this much, you should just unsubscribe, rather than lashing out needlessly at a stranger on the internet.
i'm really sorry you've been through so much trauma and pain. i definitely understand how frustrating it is when it seems like someone is tossing the words "trauma" and "depression" out there so casually as if it were quirky or a joke. it's also frustrating to see someone deal with depression and mental health issues when they are in a position of privilege. i grapple with my depression VS my privilege regularly and have talked to my therapist about it, as the cycle of guilt that comes with it adds onto the mental exhaustion and denial about me being allowed to feel the way that i feel. i think i "joke" and talk casually about depression a lot because it's a way for me to cope with it and normalize it since many don't talk about it out loud or feel like they can only talk about it when it's a super serious situation. plus it makes me feel like i have better control of my situation or any past trauma i've had (for example i was in an emotionally abusive relationship that made me contemplate suicide, and now it's such a blip in the past that i'm able to joke about it to my friends as if i'm kind of... reclaiming it in a way? idk, brains are weird lol) anyway, the way i deal with stuff is definitely NOT for everyone so i can understand how it can be off-putting to people, or even reinforce others to feel more negatively. i'll try to be more mindful of how i can be a better influence, as i often times forget the size of the platform that i have. i hope that you're doing okay and please take care ❤️
I’m so damn ADHD that I can’t ever focus on audiobooks, I get like 3 sentences in before my mind goes “SQUIRREL!”
I can only listen to audiobooks if I'm walking around to run an errand, but I definitely can't do it while I'm working!
it helps me to do chores and stuff while I listen to audiobooks to make chores less awful. And if I’m really into the book and don’t feel like doing chores I download a mindless game like 2048 on my phone and listen while I play that. Audiobooks help me read a lot faster and more often! You should give it another try! :)
Me professing my love for Cindy:
CinDy yOu reMind mE oF A YElloW mAcArOOn ☺️☺️
I---
OH HELL NAW LOL
That’s a big yike. That’s multiple yikes
the mermaid book memory thing sounds kind of like the giver but make it ✨fantasy✨
I haven't read the giver!
I was thinking the same thing. Ooooooooooo cindy the giver tho. Good read
YES! I FELT THE SAME THING! But this focuses more on intergenerational trauma more than the dustopian restrictions of the giver world, I guess. But Im now curious because of this
But also it sounds like the giver but with like....more specific and or deep allegories ya dig?
@@withcindy you would absolutely loveeee The Giver
Cindy preferring Michelle's over Barack's memoir- we love to see it 😌
It's clearly the superior one of the two and I'm not just talking about the book
hot pterodactyl boyfriend>becoming>whatever baracks memoir is called
That mermaid book sounds really cool. Like taking an issue and making it more understandable.
Yes I loved the concepts!
I’ve noticed that most girls in romance somehow relate their love for someone to chocolate: “oh he smelled as sweet as chocolate 🥵” “his eyes were chocolate brown 🥺”
My eyes are poo poo brown
readwithcindy “he smelled like the diarrhea that I had last night after taco bell” 🥰🥺🥵
His chocolate starfish
His merry mud pie...
Olivia Whitty lmao 🤣
I love when the biggest critique of a book basically comes to "I want more of it". Makes me really excited to read it 😍
That's the best critique to have TBH
The struggle is real with my library’s stickers. They really trying to alert everybody that I’m fluent in broke.
ikr cant they put that on the BACK of the book
cindy save me from everyone talking about the new sjm book
Unfortunately I'm the one who needs saving, I get a comment everyday
I ain't touching crescent city with a ten foot pole
the thumbnail is so pretty YOU DID THAT
awkward smile :)
I knew you were gonna say The Deep was too slim for you, you like em thicc.
"chocolate macaron"- Barrak talking to Michelle.
NOOOOOO
When you pause your mental breakdown for a @readwithcindy video
when i film my own mental breakdown
About trauma: My parents had to escape Argentina in 1980 because they were against the military coup that controlled the country from 1976 to 1983, ending with a disastrous war against England. Many people were persecuted, tortured, and murdered, and approximately 30,000 people disappeared. I was born in Mexico, and if it wasn't for my parents going into exile there, I wouldn't exist ... and my older brothers would surely be dead or missing. So I understand the trauma that is passed from generation to generation. After something like that and knowing that the persecution has ended determining where you are born, who you are, the things you believe in, and the things you fight for ... well, yes, it is a great emotional and mental burden.
"chocolate macaroon" is such a half-assed compliment, like i eat the chocolate ones last - are you calling me a last resort?
Wow I actually like the chocolate ones best!
alexander Damn. Yea this is why no one should be compared to food.
@@greendayfecer exactly, food has too many different opinions and is quite frankly a lazy ass choice of compliment
chocolate is the best!!
I'm such a slut for book rants
There will be one coming next week
I mean, the new SJM book is an adult book, Cindy 🌚😂
Never again
The mermaid is like the giver, with one person holding all the members of the town
Except her life sucks more
god that title.......... it really be like that huh
We really be going through it
I definitely heard "The Nipple Boys" instead of "Nickle Boys" the first time and honestly, I didn't even question it. 🤣
thatll be the title of MY novel
@@withcindy I'd read it.
Hippety Hoppety
Depression is my favorite tea
It's a tea party everyday for me
I’ve been struggling to vibe with Adult fiction since they don’t appeal to me like YA books do. The Deep sounds like it has that middle ground with some fantasy aspects but Adult fiction and it sounds *chefs kiss* thank youuu for the book rec 🥰
ALSO gotta preach to your amazing breakdown of the book and how we inherit the past and that we need to reclaim it. You’re so inspiring for talking about your struggles with depression ❤️
I'm not sure if the writing style for the deep will be a good transition from YA, but there are some adult books that are easier to digest if you prefer YA, for example I enjoyed the book of Essie, even though that was technically an adult book it was centered on teenagers
readwithcindy I will definitely have to check out book of Essie then! It’s weird cause I do prefer books that deal with more mature topics but vibe more with fantasy YA (not that it’s a step down- just maybe doesn’t play up with topics that make you think). The only adult books I really like are mystery novels (Lisa Jewell and Karin Slaughters are masters at this!!)
Honestly books are the only reason why I learned what the hell mental health and depression was...that and how I related way more to the edgy shoujo male love interest (cough cough Kyo from Fruits Basket) than the actual female leads....that's how ya know you're going through it lol XD.
Awww I'm a lot like kyo too
I love how you compare books you just finished to other books bc that way I might have read the compared books or just get a better idea of the plot and feeling of the book you're talking of I haven't read
That's great to hear that it's helpful!
I’m feeling like death right now but I saw that you posted. I had to be like “okay cold that could be the coronavirus hold up for at least 25 minutes then you can take me”
Oh no I hope that you don't have the corona virus! Stay safe!
Even though I'm sure this is a joke, the coronavirus' symptoms are more like the flu than the cold. So you probably don't have it, but stay safe regardless.
Damien Records Thanks I’ll try to stay safe :). I also went to the doctors to see what was up with my body. And welp I have the flu. But I’ll make sure to listen to the doc and stay home.
@@joselyn7203 well wishes
The plastic glaring in the light gave me life because that's how library books be
I can't get book of the month YA because the inside of the box says "you have good taste" and I can't lie to myself like that XD
HAHAHA true
THIS CAME OUT EXACTLY WHEN I NEEDED IT!!!!
THANK YOU FOR BEING PSYCHIC DURING THE FULL MOON, CINDY.
we both went to trauma together, #twins
Hope you're doing okay!
Since you're such a huge Sarah J. Mass fan, you should read a Wattpad book and review that rofl. Make it a whole monthly thing
noooooooo
i love cindy is very humorous without fail but at the same time, very serious with her reviews. wow such a queen
Thanks Sasha ♥️
Recently every thing that used to make me happy stopped . I’m so happy That your videos still make me happy 😊😊😊 you literally made my entire week
Aww I hope you can find things to be happy about soon! This is my constant struggle as well
Watching Cindy is like sitting down with a best friend and happily hearing them talk trash and you feel loved coz they want to tell you these things and give you personal attention
Aww I'm glad 😘
I have to thank you, Cindy, for introducing me to the Book of the Month. I can now get books quickly and only pay a fee via my courier service. And it goes well with my 'have no life' budget.
That's awesome! I followed the book of the month before I even joined booktube, just because it was cool to see what new releases there were without paying like $20 from Barnes & Noble lol
that first book sounds super interesting!! I rarely hear people talk about intergenerational trauma and I think it's a really interesting thing as much as it's painful to experience, it's wonderful to understand
08:42 "Just right in the amount of trauma." That is literally the shelf I'm looking for which has the type of books I'd like to read.
Ahh yes the Goldilocks effect
Was going about my days after watching this video, thinking "damn, that sucks that Cindy struggles with inherited trauma and how it doesn't help her depression. That must be so difficult." Stupid me thinking I'm unscathed til just a moment ago, laying in bed, ignoring sleep and being on my phone, thinking about earlier today how I had to explain one of the anxieties of being a person of color to my white coworkers. While I was processing why i was feeling shame around explaining it. Boom. Rerealized I'm also constantly struggling with inherited trauma. I don't know why I forget about it, I'm indigenous. So caught up in keeping up in life, I forget even as a privileged indigenous person, I can't escape the struggles of my minority identity.
YUPPPP it be like dat
Perfect timing Cindy posted this. I was depressed the whole week, and guess which book I picked up to read?
A Little Life. 🙂
Oh noooooooo
I wish I still read like the depressed teenager I was in secondary school (middle school for you Americans) hiding in the library cause people suck
when u don't care enough about a series.
cindy: "the 2nd harry potter book"
i alreayd forgot the title
I love your reviews
They're so fun and interesting that I don't really realized how much time it passed
did cindy post a video at 3AM over here as i was about to sleep? yes. will i still watch it? DEFINITELY.
fck sleep, your videos are my therapy haha!
I slept at 3:00 a.m. last night too! Lol I hope you get some rest
@@withcindy awww thanks 😘 studying hard for that coin, like u taught us HAHAHA
I’ve said this once and I’m going to say it again: you really are amazing!!💗 I love how no matter the video, you always incorporate today’s issues, discussions of them, and a little bit of your own personal experiences with them. Keep thriving boo!👸❤️
ahh thank you so much emiley!!
readwithcindy ♥️♥️♥️
I like what you said about Nickel Boys because I recently listened to the audiobook for The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead and I feel the same way about this book, so I guess it’s just his writing?? I’m interested in Nickel Boys now tho🥺 literally every time you give praise to or enjoy a book that I’m skeptical about I’m like I GUESS IM GONNA READ IT NOW your influence is too strong
Yeah it's weird bc I like his writing but at the same time it also holds me back from completely enjoying the story bc it's so clinical at times! I guess that's just his style though!
Such a great video!
For Cindy and anyone else who lives depression or trauma, want to share a small thing that might help -- Brandon Sanderson's Stormlight archives series has incredibely good representation of depression and trauma in general, that shows how challenging these things are while also showing the protagonists can be remarkble (literally world saving heroes) despite of them. As some who has had depression, the way one of the protagonists displays it was just so accurate (especially in second book).
"Ross: If I were asked to condense the overall theme of Brandon Sanderson’s ongoing Stormlight Archive epic fantasy series to a single thought, it would be: broken people save the world. Brandon has rightly received praise for creating this story centered around a cast of characters for whom mental illness or neurodivergence is not merely a hurdle to overcome, but a critical part of what makes them unique individuals, and also the key which unlocks their access to magic."
www.tor.com/2018/06/05/ideal-heroes-mental-illness-in-brandon-sandersons-stormlight-archive/
"Kaladin shows a deep sense of loss when those under his protection die and has a tendency toward depression in various forms. By the time he joins Bridge Four, he has lost so many people that he has fallen into a deep depression. He thinks himself cursed because he always survives when others do not.[11] At his lowest point, Kaladin falls into apathetic despair and becomes suicidal.[16] He is also prone to seasonal depression, feeling a sense of heavy melancholy during the weeks of the Weeping.[17] "
coppermind.net/wiki/Kaladin
God, I've been wanting to read The Deep and this finally gives me the push I needed to buy it. If all goes well, I'm definitely picking up An Unkindness of Ghosts, too!
If you're into books with an actual plot and relationships, then you should check out an unkindness of ghosts. If you don't mind atmospheric stories that are more conceptual, you should go with the deep
This might be my favorite video from you! Thank you! It's so wholesome and relatable and evident of our capacity to react to books, how we love them, but just as easily get disappointed as we do excited in the middle of it all.
thank you lainey!!
Ok I am gonna read almost all the books.
A lot of them were great this month!
I as well relate too the thumbnail, my bf doesn't get why i read sad books sometimes haha, most times i just need a good cry honestly .
Your one of the most consistent youtubers i follow, never stop making videos your part of my coping mechanism too😫
Thank you Audrey ♥️
Text: *disappears*
Me: Hold up, what did it say?
Brain: Extraordinary onion
I would read that
Cindy discussing books with me that I’ve never read is how I cope. You know sometimes you gotta feel like u read something without actually reading it
i gotchu boo
I just finished my work for the day and was like "oh no now all I want to do is stare at a wall for 8 hours until I fall asleep" but now I actually have some entertainment. Amazing.
Just play this video for 8 hours
The first book made me think of The Ones Who Run Away from Omelas a little bit, with the idea of one person carrying the whole community's negative things
I've never heard of that!
I truly can relate with the title, currently reading a 200+ chapter novel, it feels like it never ends 👌
Omg 200? That sounds so unnecessary lol
@@withcindy it expands the plot & characters and makes sure to put a lot of angst plus its a xianxia, they're always long 😔😭
We love trauma, and trauma related books! 🥰
What a fun time!
I though reading was my coping mechanism but now I think it is a combination of reading AND watching your videos. Just love how you construct the sentences for your ideas wow!
thank u catarina!!
You know you’re early when it’s impossible for anyone to have finished the video already lol
Everybody be like hahaha what an amazing video and I'm like y'all didn't even watch it yet lmao
Some people have a habit of watching videos sped up. That's me, i am people. It's like a drug, once you start it's sooo tempting to keep doing it
@@kousetsuhana omg same
@@kousetsuhana i mean i do that pretty often but even then it would've been impossible
@@kousetsuhana I sometimes do that if I'm feeling stressed about time even though the speed I can still tolerate isn't actually making me finish the video much faster.
Stand Still, Stay Silent is an amazing webcomic and one of the most beautiful and detailed ones I’ve ever read. I would recommend it to anyone no matter what genre they like
Thanks for the rec!
no problem :)
I use this title whenever people wanna ask me why I’m reading sad stuff.
Hi Cindy! I love your videos and your humor! Keep being a queen. Btw your hair is so pretty! Idk why but it suits you so well.
Thank you! I cut it myself lol
What if you had a white datefriend and told them "you reminded me of a vanilla macaroon"
That's called equality
"Datefriend"
Love this one.
I came across one of your rant reviews (ex and oh being one of them) and I can't stop watching your videos!!
Hugs and kisses from Brazil!!!
Thank you! I would love to visit Brazil one day!
Tries to find something happy and nontrauma related, proceeds to find a book purely based on trauma and makes you self-reflect way more than you want to. Lol story of my life
Lmaooo welp
Watched this in class, way more interesting than busywork :)
play the video in front of ur class
i may be sick atm but listening to a yellow macaroon rant about books as a coping mechanism for a solid 24 minutes has made my day so much better
A yellow macaroon I---
Half of my reading lists come from the books you read... also excited that you're reading the diviners because I just got my hold of it from Libby!
I hope you enjoy it! I felt kind of meh about it
I'll only comment so you´ll like and respond to it.........
Pls don´t kill my hopes and dreams
Here we are
Cindy when you have regained your strength I NEED you to read Crescent City by SJM. I need the salty review...I need the shade...I need you to spill the tea (and any other exaggerated idioms you can think of). Without your rant reviews I die a little inside 💔
i've been reading nothing but YA contemporary romance for the past month and a half and it's quickly thawing my ice cold poor excuse for a heart
Ain't that the best
River's book kinda reminds me of . The protaginist there is also chosen to be a historian who inherit the whole community's memories and history from the previous historian in the "Utopia" where all other residents have forgotten war, violence but also love and arts.
The first book sounds like the plot to “The Giver”
I've got in a lot of comments saying the same thing!
That is a perfect way to describe how I feel with short stories.
Me:damn I am so tired after work
*Cindy uploads a new video*
Me:*unlimited power*
Wish I had enough energy to watch my own videos
@@withcindy I presume that's something like actors who never watch their own movies?
about trama being something you can inherit: it explains... a lot, at least for me. i was always afraid and hated when people around me were drinking or drunk, especially my parents, and now that you said it, i think it may be inherited from my mom. her father was an abusive alcoholic asshole and i know for a fact that there was at least one occasion when he tried to kill my grandma.
im gonna listen to this while doing math idk how thats gonna work.
Ooof Good luck
im still doing math fml :,,,,)
Happy Holi Cindy!!!!!
hope ur monday is going well
readwithcindy it is now after you posted 👍🏽 have a great day
That's the best intro if I ever seen one! 😂
Every time someone describes a character's skin color by food I'm like ummmm
@@withcindy what food would you use to describe your skin color? 😂
Just finished The Deep and came back to say: Thank you, what a great book!
Glad you enjoyed it!
I can relate to the thumbnail
*WHEEZES* 😂
Glad you can relate to my awkward smile
@@withcindy 😂
I always love your wrap up videos!! They’re so funny but also very helpful when I’m looking for something new. :)
Thanks for enjoying :)
Content I subscribe to see
we love to see it
I can't do real life trauma in my fiction. Like, I'll deal with characters traumatized by a zombie apocalypse or being repressed by a horrible future government on Mars but keep that relatable trauma away. I need my escapism.
That's totally fair! I need a balance
I AM HERE FIRST IDC
ur 3rd but 1st in my heart
i seen you on twt. you rock.
@@withcindy CINDY STOP
@@khalilzrayer7199 AYEEEE SAME WE MUTUALS NO??? THANK YOU 😭😭 YOU TOO LOVE
That murder one reminds me of a real life murder case
Edit: Lizze Bordon I think is what I'm thinking of. There was a theory that she was the one who killed her parent (?) because she was having an affair with her maid or maybe slave. I dont really remember the details but yea.
1st comment man! Yay
ur 2nd but close!
Oh damn!
i've picked up reading actively again this year and it's such a nice surprise to see you talk about the nickel boys, which happens to be one of the books i picked up and read. i've never really watched a booktube video about books i've read and it's such a nice feeling of actually understanding tf someone's talking about
That's awesome! What did you think of it?
@@withcindy enjoyed it, had a lot of moments where I read a bit and just sat there, digesting the fact that many real people went through that. the prose is quite emotionally detached like you said but I think (especially in the parts narrated by Not Elwood, can't remember the name sorry) that portrays how victims feel the need to bottle up emotions and not express how they feel. Not Elwood doesn't open up to anyone about his trauma until the scene where he tells his partner and I like how the dry prose reflects that. obviously that also comes at the expense of being less emotionally engaging at times though so I get where you're coming from.
When you brought up the abuse I'm glad you mentioned T.M. Landry. I have looked into that school a lot it's horrible.