The Truth About Why I Quit Alcohol | 4 YEARS SOBER
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 มิ.ย. 2024
- Today I'm sharing my journey with alcohol and what drove me to actually quit. Sharing this ahead of 'dry July' in the hope that those of you who are dealing with similar drink issues will feel encouraged. Check out my sponsor betterhelp.com/murphy for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp, you'll get matched with a therapist who will listen and will help you!
As mentioned in the video (topics worth covering in therapy)...
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS info (quick read) www.simplypsychology.org/tran...
Also: www.psychologytoday.com/ie/bl...
SHADOW WORK intro / info: www.psychologytoday.com/ie/bl...
After this video you might want to check out:
- six months sober update (& the pros and cons of quitting alcohol) • six months sober ~ pro...
- 15 months sober update (& tips to cut back on alcohol or to quit drinking entirely!) • 15 months SOBER update...
- alcohol-free update: my THIRD sober Christmas • alcohol-free update (m...
► Join me on INSTAGRAM where I update often between TH-cam videos: melaniiemurphy...
Well ... this is terrifying. I've not been scared to press 'upload' in what feels like ... years!? BLERGHHHH BEING VULNERABLE IS BLERGHHHH. But every time I open up I receive the most incredible messages and comments from people who LITERALLY change their actions for the better and it makes the terror worth it. So worth it. If you're going through this, I SEE YOU
💚
I see you too
ER...... The Irish Have A Physical Dependence On Ethanol ??? (Is It A Genetic Thing ???) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Well done Mel! You should be so proud of your openness and bravery. ❤️
Thank you so much for being so vulnerable. This is scary and I commend your journey. Good job girl ❤
2 years of no alcohol today. Without a doubt the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. 🙂👍🏻
Alcohol addiction actually destroyed my life for over 26 years. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here. and mushrooms are one of the most amazing things on this planet i wish people would all realize. they could solve a lot of problems, more than just mental treatments, environmental clean up; the possibilities are endless with fungus.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Hey! Yes very sure of Dr.benshrooms. a single dose of shrooms saved me from Alcohol addiction. 6 years clean. no cravings. this doesn't sound weird to me in any way shape or form.
I hate that psilocybin gets grouped with drugs like cocaine and heroin. Mushrooms are a remedy, not a vice!
Yes he's Dr.benshrooms.Lsd and psilocybin are amazing teachers along its dmt mah dudes have safe trips all. Shrooms are blessings from nature.
I've never been one to drink because of my mother. Your story sounds similar to hers but she never really quit. Thank you for doing what my mother couldn't. Your kids will never know the pain that I experienced and I hope they never have to understand the gratitude your family, friends, and followers like me have towards you. They will see a mom that cares more about herself and her family, no matter how difficult it may be, and that is a gift not all of us were able to receive. Congradulations on 4 years sober! Thats a HUGE accomplishment and I hope you are very proud of yourself!
I congratulate you for getting sober while you're young. I wish I could go back in time and unhurt all the people I hurt. 12 years sober now. I hate the memory of who I was then.
Whenever someone breaks free from the trap of alcohol, the world gets a little bit brighter. 🌞
In the USA, alcohol culture (and drug culture in general) is holding us back. If we were to stop drinking ourselves into oblivion, just think of what we could accomplish.
I agree. I have seen it make people stupid! 😂
In today's culture, the glorification of alcohol and substance abuse can be observed through various mediums and societal norms. Here are some ways in which our culture tends to glorify these behaviors:
Media Influence:
Movies, television shows, and music often portray excessive alcohol consumption and substance abuse as glamorous and exciting. Characters who engage in these behaviors are often depicted as rebellious, adventurous, or even sophisticated. This portrayal can subconsciously influence viewers, normalizing and romanticizing harmful drinking and drug use.
Social Media and Influencers:
Social media platforms are filled with posts and images that showcase alcohol as an integral part of socializing, celebrations, and self-expression. Influencers and celebrities often endorse alcohol brands, making it appear trendy and desirable. This online presence can create a pervasive "party culture" that may influence individuals, especially the younger demographic, to engage in excessive drinking or substance use to fit in or gain acceptance.
Peer Pressure and Social Norms:
Within social circles, there is often an expectation to participate in alcohol-related activities. Peer pressure can play a significant role, as individuals may feel compelled to drink excessively or experiment with substances to conform to societal norms or to be seen as part of the "in" crowd. This pressure can be particularly impactful on young adults who are navigating their identities and seeking acceptance.
Marketing Strategies:
Alcohol and beverage companies invest heavily in marketing campaigns that associate their products with desirable lifestyles, success, and social acceptance. These strategies can include visually appealing advertisements, celebrity endorsements, and event sponsorships. Such tactics create an image of alcohol as an essential element of a fun and fulfilling life, contributing to its glorification in our culture.
Limited Awareness of Consequences:
Society often downplays or ignores the negative consequences of alcohol and substance abuse. This lack of awareness can lead to a normalization of harmful behaviors and an underestimation of the potential risks associated with excessive consumption. The focus on the immediate gratification and pleasure derived from alcohol and substance use often overshadows the long-term physical, mental, and social consequences.
It is essential to recognize and critically examine these influences within our culture. By raising awareness and promoting conversations around responsible drinking, substance abuse prevention, and the potential harms associated with excessive consumption, we can work towards creating a healthier and more informed society.
Good for you that you gave up when you still can or it would be worst if you had continue, it's the devil way to steal, kill and destroy anyone who's vulnerable and praying that you will stay safe and strong
i think if we talked about trauma more, we could escape the cycles of addiction. also, societal changes. letting go of the ‘hustle culture’ mentality, 5 day work-weeks, & unjust pay, would alleviate lots of stress too.
For the British and Irish it’s literally seen as part of their culture. They start drinking young. It’s literally some sort of culture to go straight to the bar to have a drink after work. The folks over there are known around the world to be terrible / drunk tourists. It’s not the same. They literally are stereotyped and known for their drinking habits.
I've been a person I didn't recognize while drinking, and I had some similarly horrifying moments where I had to really come to grips with the idea that "If this continues much longer it's not going to be out of character for me anymore... and I don't like that character I'm playing here.," and since then I've dramatically decreased my drinking to almost nothing, maybe a drink in 6 months. I honestly feel so much better all around.
Good for you. I think many of us alcoholics wrestle with the idea of being able to have one “every once in awhile”, but find that it is too difficult to stick to just one. I applaud you for that!
One day I woke up wanting to die, full of shame and regret after a night of drinking once again. That same day I found your 'six months sober' video and it made me feel like I wasn't the only one struggling with this. It's been over two years without a drink and I'm happier than I've ever been. Thank you so much for having the courage to be this vulnerable! You have no idea of how many lives you've changed. Cheers from Argentina.
when you started describing different bad incidents that happened when you were drunk, it reminded me that we actually so often hear these stories but in the guise of a mad laugh story. People get so much validation in Ireland for their mad drinking stories. It is a vicious cycle that people perpetuate. They hear other peoples stories, its normalised, the madder the story the more popular the person and they want to be recognised and laughed with (at?) as well. Ireland's drinking culture is so beyond fucked up. It's terrifying.
Canada too
Congratulations Melanie 💚💚 i remember the time you quit and i can't believe it's been 4 years that's a huge accomplishment.
When I decided to quit drinking I went in search of people on TH-cam that quit for the reasons I did. I found one. You. I watched your videos about drinking often as I needed initial support. 18 months later I don't even think about it and it's the best decision I ever made. Thank you for being there. I'll share my own story when I am ready. It takes time to process and we don't often know ourselves as well as we think and I am still learning.
This was so moving. Thank you for the vulnerability. You sounded so nervous and it just even further emphasized how much that life-style hurt and embarrassed you.
My own experiences with alcohol are beyond awful. It started with my dad, getting drunk and pacing atound and yelling all the things he couldn't say to people at work, for hours at night. I was 5 or 7 the first time he called me downstairs to smell his breath to see if i could smell the alcohol - which i had no idea what it was so why he thought id be able to answer the question?? Then hed ask me if he was slurring his words. Also had no fking idea what that meant. He'd be speaking very slowly and over emphasized to compensate so in hindsight yeah, it was very obvious. But back then i had no idea. I was scared by his yellow, scared by the questions, and scared by how long the whole process would last before he went to bed. Hours, usually. I tried to play therapist to him on those nights, to try and stop him from feeling so angry and sad, because he was my dad. I didnt want my dad to be obviously feeling so negative. Id be trying to keep my younger brother from coming down, or hearing what was going on. I got told i was so helpful after spending hours trying to fix this problem i didnt understand, only to have to start over again the nexr night.
My first significant relationship was 13 years long. He was an alcoholic years before i met him, started at 13. In his area of Louisiana, thats normal. It never stopped. The abuse during that 13 years went from mild to extreme. And the pressure to drink with him so he wasnt drinking alone, was intense. I didnt give in until i thought, what if i drank and acted towards him how he acts towards me? Hes not listening when i tell him anymore. Maybe if he sees it from the other side, he will understand.
Terrible idea. Absolutely did not work. I spent several years feeling constantly sick and even more unloved. Even the smell of walking in a liquor store now triggers my gag reflex.
My current relationship, and father to my child, limits himself to 1-2 drinks in a night, a few times a year. He asks me first if I'm ok. Theres been times where i am and say yes, and times where i wasnt and said no. Hes always respected my answer and never been upset. He doesn't change how he acts after a drink. He doesn't drink while our child is awake. He never pressures me to drink. For the first time ever in my life, alcohol isnt the goal for the adult i live with. Its never used against me. It doesn't disturb my peace. Money in our tight budget isnt spent on alcohol instead of bills or food. Im never in a moving vehicle with an angry drunk driver. Ive cried so many times, from the sheer relief of it all.
I dont think alcohol is the problem, any more than i think guns or cars are the problem. The problem is the people using objects as an excuse for bad behavior and believing that automatically justifies their selfish, abusive, angry sides, instead of trying to fix those parts of them. But i cant stress enough how much of life alcohol has damaged, or how much safer and happier i am without it in my life.
Thank you so, so much for sharing this. ❤️
@Melanie Murphy you're so very welcome. It's still hard talking about all those years, but it's talking honestly about the hard things that makes us grow as people, and as a collective society. Not speaking out about the negative effects of bad behaviors is how problematic beliefs and decisions carry on generation to generation.
Alcoholic parents almost always seem to think their drinking isn't affecting their family, or friends. It absolutely does. To this day, in his late 70s, my dad is convinced that his drinking isn't a bad thing, and it only affects him.
The reality is it destroyed his relationships with his wife and both of us kids, almost 30 years ago. It's had terrible affects on his health, even now. My mom still works because he immediately refused to the minute he was old enough for social security. She's almost 70. She pays all the bills. She works 40+ hours a week, and then has to physically take care of him because he refuses to be bothered. It's a normal thing for her to find him laying on the floor somewhere, with blood everywhere, because he fell while drunk and busted his nose, and can't figure out how to get up, because he's still that drunk. I've gotten multiple pictures of him bloody with black eyes because he fell on his face. He yells at her that she's not helping him get up when she's doing everything she physically can and he refuses to help. Or yells because he doesn't want to get up yet and she's nagging him. He's demolished multiple cars. He's been fired from almost every job ever. He doesn't see his only grandchild for more than 10 minutes because we don't know when the next break from reality will be. It's awful.
It's so so important that you realized it was a problem before having kids. You're blessing them a million times over. Kids don't recover from Alcoholic abusive parents. It changes you for life.
I live in Newfoundland, Canada and it has a very Irish history and the drinking "culture" that comes with it is no joke. Just rampant alcoholism. I've struggled with this for years and like you, I've chosen my future self and my little family over "fun". The fun wasn't always fun, but it was almost always a persona I put on to feel interesting and cool. I also would let my jealousy or horrid feelings bubble to the surface. It would turn me into a menace. I would say and do things that sober me could not imagine doing. It is scary to be in it. You could not pay me to go back to my 20's and re-live it. I'm glad you briefly mentioned shadow work because I've found it so helpful as well. You can run and run but eventually, you will catch up to yourself. This video spoke to me on such a deep level. I never comment on anything but I felt compelled to say thank you for this video. Thank you for being open and so vulnerable. I imagine it cannot be easy to pour your heart out online. Your presence on here is breath of fresh air and I appreciate your content, especially these last few years. Much love from Newfoundland, CA.
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I am sure your husband and kids are super proud of you, I know I am!! Look at you now, I have been watching you for years and you've grown so much, you're building your dream life. I'm so happy for you Melanie 💚
😭😭😭😭💚💚💚💚
Gorgeous
I relate so much to your story. Especially with the blacking out from trying to keep up with my partner (who is literally twice the size of me), and I would say and do absolutely crazy things, wanting to unalive myself. We would have massive rows. I decided to try and get sober (it’s a journey ugh). He doesn’t want to and unfortunately we are basically broken up now. He doesn’t think it was the drinking, just that I acted “crazy” on occasion, and would bring up those occasions often, but I know I wouldn’t act that way if sober. I think he just is scared and doesn’t want to see a problem with drinking (mine or his as he also acts out drunk) so would prefer to pretend it’s just me.
I feel like I’m taking responsibility for it by being sober, but I think he just doesn’t want to admit what alcohol can do to people. So I guess we are moving apart.
So thank you for sharing your story, you make me feel so much more normal, and give me hope for my future ❤
Thank you for this. I had a situation where I was so drunk I falling asleep and was given a tablet which my sleepy mind recognised as my nighttime medication 🫠🙃 It interacted with my mental health meds and I went into what you described as “psychosis” , I remember NOTHING from there on and I am forever mortified of how I acted that night. I was a guest at a party. I can’t look anyone from that party in the eye whenever we cross paths.
I have also experienced psychosis which haunts me to this day. I am mortified thinking about how I was in that moment. X
So proud of you! The “drinking with all guys so then you end up drinking more than your body can handle” and the “things coming out explosively when you’re drunk because you’re suppressing your feelings about them when you’re sober” parts really spoke to me. I haven’t quit drinking, but I have a much better relationship with it now. And more than anything, I’ve made changes in my life so that I’m not repressing things in the first place. I’ve followed you for years now and it’s always so helpful to hear people share their stories and experiences. Thank you for being vulnerable on the internet, it can’t be easy but it helps so many of us feel less alone in the world and in our own journeys!
Thank you for posting this! I’ve been sober for two years now and I needed this reminder of why it was so bad. Sometimes I think it didn’t affect me that much… but yeah it does
I realized I had a problem with alcohol two months ago when I noticed I was using it to cope with stress, even as it was causing me health issues. I’m two months sober today and it’s the best thing I’ve done. It’s definitely hard to deal with feeling interrogated at times about why I’m not drinking but I feel so much better and I feel like I’m starting to trust myself (in the sense that I will look out for myself).
This video, and the 6 months video - literal treasure. You cannot imagine how much that helps! Thanks for that!
Congratulations! I can’t imagine how hard it is to share all this but I feel so grateful that you did. I do think it will help people who also struggle and I know it takes so much to be that vulnerable. 💚
Thanks so much for sharing this Melanie! I’ve definitely had my fair share of the usual eejit-ness running around binge drinking, getting sick, blacking out, but it was all laughed off as the usual teenage/ early 20s experience.
I related so much to you realizing drink was a problem when you find the person you want to keep in your life forever and create a family with. Drink makes fights and insecurities so much worse and sets you into fight or flight so extremely compared to when you’re sober. Thanks a mill for putting out something that’s so relatable but rarely admitted!
Congrats on 4 years! That is a huge acheivement! Sometimes the most difficult thing to do is look introspectively and realize that something is wrong and we need help! Good on you for putting in the work. So happy you're where you envisioned yourself 💚💚💚
It’s a wonderful accomplishment! So happy for you! I was the same way when I’d drink, but I’ve been sober for just over 6 months now. It feels like I’m a completely different person for the better! Not everyone has a problem with drink, but to those of us who do, I’m so proud of every one of you! Much love and here’s to more great times to come! 💕
Oh my gosh Mel, I SO admire you for sharing this - and a huge bloody congrats on your four years sober!!! Thanks for always being real with us 💚
I rarely comment on videos. But thank you for this. It’s incredibly vulnerable but it’s also inspiring and helps way more people than you realise. I grew up in foster care so my escape was always alcohol, in my adult years it’s been my problem. I’ve been struggling my for years but every time someone in the public opens up about it, it gives me more motivation. Thank you thank you.
Thank you so much for deciding to post this! There are so many of us out there that are still trying to keep it on the down low but sometimes we are struggling to hold onto sobriety and all we need is to talk to some other sober people to replenish our motivation and will power and share it as well!
I've been so curious about your story! Thanks for being brave enough to post this ❤️
I came across this video as I was typing “how to get sober “. I’m really struggling with this for the past 10 years & I can’t believe I let it go for so long but I’m so tired of putting my self in situations I don’t want to be in. I’m scared, anxious & feel lost but all I know is I don’t want to feel so embarrassed anymore of how I acted & what did I say & im just extremely tired of being tired of this rout. Thank you for sharing your story. It really helped me get through today to not drink.
💚💚💚 I teared up reading this. You are not alone. So many of us have felt this exact way you describe, I am living proof there’s a way out of it xxxxx
so proud of you melanie! it’s inspiring to see someone be so courageous and vulnerable. we’re all rooting for you mama
I found your channel because of your first videos on sobriety. I was searching for someone who I felt I could relate to at the time on my sober journey I was feeling alone. Of course I stayed for all the other wonderful content. 3.5 years on my own journey, I feel like we're doing this together, congratulations on 4!! Thank you for sharing your story, so many of us have found comfort and accceptance in it.
Thank you for sharing your story and for being so vulnerable and candid, Melanie. You inspire me to be a better person with every single video you post. I’m so proud of you! 4 years is SUCH a long time and you’ve come so far. I’ve seen how alcohol can tear families apart and you’ve stopped the cycle in its tracks. It takes a hell of a lot of strength and willpower to accomplish something like this. Thank you for always being YOU. You have no idea how positively you’ve influenced my life, just by sharing your experiences! 💚
I admire you so so much Mel, fair dues to you for sharing your experiences with alcohol so openly - it’s reflections and realisations just like this that help see the bigger picture for making the best decisions for your own future self and your family 💛 You’ve inspired me as a sober curious person!
Thank you so much for sharing this, and you should be so proud of yourself. As someone who is in the early stages of reflecting on their relationship with alcohol, your videos have been such a relaxed, non-judgmental, safe, supportive and informative place to come to. Thank you so so much! (also low-key love your house to home vids) xxx
I love how you describe the interplay of alcohol and emotions/past trauma - so important!
So proud of you, Melanie! 💚 It takes real courage to share something so personal.
Thank you so much for sharing your story Mel 💕
Thank you this. I’m only 4 days into sobriety, and I’m scared because I also love the taste. Going to miss the buzz. It’s been like a part of me for over 20 years. My first challenge is my father-in-law’s party this Saturday. I’m scared but videos like this give me strength. We sound a lot alike.🥲
Edit: this video popped up on my recommendations.
Congrats on taking the first step :) i just wanted to say I did a year of sobriety once (I had to for testing) and when it was over, at the time, I worked at a brewery/distillery . I tried a sip of everything we had there and when I tell you NOTHING tasted good anymore. I always considered myself as someone who LOVED the taste. Nope. It's totally an acquired taste that continues to develop over time. It goes away! It tastes soooo much stronger and bitter and poisonous. So just as you grow to love it, you will grow to not. Hope this perspective helps, even just a little
I’ve been following you since you were a relatively small channel, and it’s been amazing to see your growth over the years! Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your story ❤
I loved this video! I'm coming up to 18 months sober :D so pleased and proud of myself
Thanks for sharing something so vulnerable. I think it's so helpful to hear what other people's moments of clarity are when it comes to deciding to stop drinkning.
Melanie, it’s so brave of you to talk with such openness about this topic. You are AMAZING girl ❤
Thank you so much for being so honest and vulnerable, I know it’s scary but you really have cracked so many hearts open by sharing authentically and courageously. Not only in this video but across ALL your videos and social media! ❤
What a gift of a video, thank you so much Melanie. I would be SUPER interested in a transactional analysis / shadow work therapy video!!
Yes! I did find you from the first quit video. Thank you and congratulations! I just celebrated 2.5 years. I had a very similar relationship with the drink. A beautiful future ahead because of the things we've experience and since changed.
I came to subscribe to your channel because of your earlier quitting alcohol videos. Good to hear you're still feeling confident about your decision, and hopefully you know how much videos like this help people who find them. You don't really go searching for videos on issues like this on youtube unless things have gotten pretty bad, and then when you find others sharing their stories, it can be like a lifeline.
You inspired me with your first video ever on this topic, 3 and some years ago. I wasn't ready to stop drinking at the time, but I kept watching your updates over the years and right now I'm 11 months alcohol free. Thanks for sharing your journey - appreciate your transparency always.
I am so happy for you and proud of you
MELANIIIIEEE i cannot believe that video is four years old. So proud of you!
thank you so much for this video, would love videos delving into the therapy techniques that helped you ❤
Thank you for being so candid Melanie, it must have been really difficult to make 💚
Thank you for being so vulnerable, Melanie. This is so important to talk about, and I’m sure your story will help a lot of people. Being honest about our human moments (when we are ready to share) is extremely helpful to our collective healing. This must have been really scary to share, but it paid off. Well done, love❤
I applaud your vulnerability. I imagine this was difficult to share. Congratulations on four years of being sober. Love the videos. Well done!
I have appreciated every sobriety video you’ve put out. I know you don’t know me, but I am so incredibly proud of you Melanie. You’re doing something that so many people struggle their whole lives to do, and you’re gracious enough to share it all. I unfortunately grew up with an alcoholic mother who I absolutely love but will never be sober and experience that freedom. You get to be a wonderful sober mom to your kids and they are so blessed for that ❤
Congratulations on 4 years. I have been thinking about giving up drinking recently and stupidly, the opinions of others is what makes me pause... I am also very grateful and want to say how brave you are for sharing the assault experiences you have. And want to emphasise that just because you are the one saying them online or that you were drinking at the time, does not make those crimes your fault or responsibility. Thank you again and well done on a brilliant achievement xx
Thank you for being so vulnerable with us
Melanie, thank you for being so vulnerable in this video, it must not have been easy and it will sure have a positive impact on a lot of people. I can't say that I ever had a drinking problem, because I was always afraid of not being fully conscious in places that maybe I don't know so well or with people that I have just met/don't really know, I had a few friends going through this unconsciousness after drinking and it always scared the life out of me. I am so proud of you for how far you have come! I would love to hear more about transactional analysis and shadow work, if you would like to have them as topics in future videos. And going back to the more shallow side of me, I would really love to hear your skincare routine, because you are absolutely glowing.
So amazing Melanie I was tearing up watching this. I remember when you gave up drink. You should be nothing but extremely extremely proud of yourself for making this hard decision for something you have always wanted and you totally deserve a loving stable home. So so happy for you stay strong ♥️♥️♥️
I did not drink often when I was underage. But I'm proud to say that when I did, it was very responsibly (keeping track of how many drinks per hour; drinking w friends who reminded me to hydrate). And I owe a big part of that to you, dodie, and Lucy who by sharing your experiences w alcohol taught me I could have more fun with less drinks. I think I learned younger than most that it doesn't benefit me to drink "just because..." and I rarely drink w an intent to get more than tipsy. So thank you for uploading videos like this bc in my case they've had a preventative effect and have helped me form (what I think is) a healthy perspective on alcohol.
Brave Melanie-- good for you for telling your honest story. It will make a difference to many. I grew up in an alcoholic home, there's a lot of alcoholism on both sides of my family, and while I'm not a drinker myself, I suffered the consequences in massive self-esteem issues, broken family relationships, and some trauma issues that I'm still recovering from. What you did in stopping your own private insanity is and will continue to have positive ripple effects on your relationships and your kids' lives in addition to your own. It's so amazing when we realize we can choose growth and live through the discomfort of change and not stay stuck! 💚
These are so intimate details and so difficult to talk about them. Thank you for this! Please do the video of the techniques!
Congrats Mel! 4 years sober is massive - this is my first TH-cam comment in a long time but I felt inclined to share that I developed a really difficult relationship to alcohol when one of my parents passed away a few years ago. I began to not recognize myself when I had gotten drunk and I was running away from myself like you had mentioned in the video. So happy to say I don't drink anymore and I have learned to love it because of what it affords me (zero hangovers, no arguments with those I love when I'm obliterated, and in the literal sense of saving hundreds since I live in a major city that charges easily $20 for a cocktail). I have really difficult days, especially since I'm only in my mid twenties and I don't really have many sober friends, but then I remind myself of all the mortifying memories of my drunk self and it helps mitigate the desire to drink. It's not perfect at all, but I've learned to meet myself with empathy. I've gone back to your six months sober video a few times to keep myself in check! So thank you :)
Also, would love love love a video on the subjects your therapist discussed with you! Therapy has changed my life as well!
Congratulations Melanie! 🎉
What a huge accomplishment. It’s so brave of you to share this part of your life. I love that you have come so far in processing this issue that you can feel comfortable sharing on a larger scale. I think your story will definitely help others out there who are still struggling.
I was never a heavy drinker but am almost two years sober after getting pregnant with my son and never picking it up again. I still miss the taste of it on special occasions but drinking never feels better than not being hungover 💯. I definitely feel more emotionally regulated and an much more aware when my depression and anxiety are affecting me now that I don’t use alcohol as a crutch when those yucky feelings come up. 💚
Just here to support you, and say how proud I am of you 💚 It's a huge accomplishment!
I was journaling this morning and it became clear to me that I want to be sober. I can relate so so much to your story, from the binge drinking to crazy out bursts. Thank you so much for sharing this as it has confirmed to me that today is the day I start my journey to sobriety. 💖
Please do share more about transactional analysis and shadow work. Very relatable issues. Lots of love to you Melanie ❤
How fucking cool that your kids get to grow up with such a brave mother who can teach them so much about standing up for yourself and recognising that being kind to yourself can be scary at first, but it is ultimately so worth it. And for them to have a dad who was willing to give you support and time to come to terms with your relationship with alcohol. Kudos to you both.
You’re so brave to be this open and honest. I have massive respect for you.
I’m not a big drinker at all, but I’ve been surrounded by heavy drinkers my whole life. Including my boyfriend, who has a serious problem and he knows it. However, he hasn’t quite hit rock bottom to change yet. I’m hoping he’ll have the same enlightenment as you soon.
You are so strong to take the leap towards change 💚
Thank you so much for sharing. It's so helpful for people to know they are not alone. Congratulations on 4 years.
Your openness is amazing. Not many people would reveal their darkest moments in a public forum. I’m doing 100 days of no booze as an experiment. Over half way through.. there are so many great alternatives out there and even though it’s only a relatively short period of time, I don’t miss it at all yet.
Thank you for posting this. I was a terribly heavy binge drinker from 15-19. I still drink but only on special occasions and never more than 3 drinks in a night. It has forced me to address all the things I've been bottling up and am so glad that it doesn't define or consume me anymore. it bothers me a bit how normalized alcohol is and how people continue to make me feel weird or out of place for not drinking so much. but i suppose all that matters is that it's benefiting me and my life moving forward. other's opinions don't matter. this video makes me feel a lot more normal, less alone, and more confident in my decision. thanks again!
Thank you for being so brave & sharing your story Melanie. We love you, we see you, we appreciate you. This video WILL help people xxx
Alcohol free for 1 year and 4 months, holding my first baby in my arms! Everything you talked about resonated heavily with me! Thank you so much for opening about your journey, I always felt quite lonely, especially since mine also started when I was very young..
This came exactly when I needed it. Thank YOU. ❤
I just want to give 17 year old you a hug when you're talking about passing out at parties and being assaulted. Im sorry that this was your normal and i hope you know how strong you are for not only giving up alcohol, but also being able to speak about this so openly shows how well you've mentally processed your past. As someone your age (but always had a good relationship with alcohol) this absolutely should not have been your normal and I'm so sorry your relationship with alcohol led to so much trauma at such a young age. Your videos over the last few years have made me think more consciously about how I want to handle the issue of alcohol with my own son, and what I do/don't want him to see from a young age. As always, thank you for sharing ❤
Great video Melanie. You’re lucky to get sober quite young. You'll be so happy in the future when you look back on your happy sober life. 5 years was the longest I've been sober but I'm trying again now. It’s so worth it and it’s NEVER worth going back drinking that’s for sure. I've always regretted going back and it just gets worse, never better.
I have alcoholism on both sides of my family. I only ever got drunk once in my life and it was so bad I blacked out. This scared me so much I vowed to never go that far ever again. That will have been 11yrs ago on my B-Day this year and can say I kept that vow. I do still drink, but I just don't get drunk. My dad also started his sobriety journey 5yrs ago this year and I could not be more proud of him! Congrats to 4yrs Mel! ❤️
Thank you for this video. It means a lot to have someone share their experiences. I'm 21 and I always knew drinking wasn't for me and all the negatives but going to university pressured me to drink. I don't drink half as much as many students I know but it's comforting to know that cutting down has had many benefits and I feel more like myself and not pretending to be someone I'm not with the additional confidence that drinking gave me. I still drink occasionally but I'm much more mindful than I was when I first started. Better to cut it out early in life than later but doing this now has really opened my eyes to how much we rely on drinking at social gatherings
I appreciate you being open about this. My husband will have been sober for 10 years come July 1st this year and I am so grateful every day for the fact he got sober when he did. We would never have met, gotten married and started a family if it wasn't for him giving up drinking. I'm throwing him a little surprise party on his sober birthday, cause I could not be more proud of him. And you should be damn proud of yourself too, Melanie.
Been waiting to watch this until I was fully invested. Sunday is the perfect day. I’ve had family members die from alcoholism. My step mum is a raging alcoholic who has severely affected many people in my family. This video really makes me question people’s reasons for drinking. Thank you so much for sharing. You’re so strong and it’s amazing to see someone care for themselves and their family so much in this way. I don’t think you realise how much your children will love you for it in the future. Advice to people who have family members suffering with alcoholism would be a great video if you think it’s relevant to you. Sending lots of love ❤
Congratulations! You deserve all the pride and joy 💜
Thank you. Just thank you for sharing 💚 Most things can be filtered online. Thank you for being real and genuine. Congratulations on the 4 year milestone ❤
I just want to let you know how proud I am of you Melanie, coming from a family myself that has severe issues with alcohol. My father being one of them.. I still live with my parents, so I'm holding onto a prayer that my father gets to that point where he wants to change for himself. Not even for me or my mom, but himself. If only people could realize sooner how smart, funny, hard working, and wonderful they are without drinking. How loved they are. Bless anyone dealing with any substance abuse right now, I'm sending so much love. 💚💚💚💚
Such a thoughtful video! I am currently trying to figure out my relationship to alcohol. I never really binge drink, but ever since I started working full time as a teacher two years ago, I do notice that I like to use alcohol to decompress after work. First when I went out to drink with colleagues and now when I am at home alone. I don't drink much, just a glass a night, but you have helped me become aware that I use it as a crutch to deal with the stress and that I should really evaluate the status quo.
I have to say, in general I love watching your videos, even though your life goals really differ from mine, I find it inspiring how you are building the life of your dreams and it really motivates me to think more about my own goals in life. So thank you 💙
This made me cry, i am so proud of you. How incredible that you chose your family, your partner, LIFE. I similarly had toxic drinking habits in the past, particularly with regards to jealous outbursts. I took some time out, went sober temporarily, and I have come back to a healthier approach with drinking, and I am better at communicating thoughts when sober so they don't bubble to the surface when I have had a drink. It is something I must keep monitoring though. And in fact, I am tempted to trial sobriety again just to experiment, to see how much I still lean on it for confidence and to feel like I am better chat/craic.... anyway I am rambling. But like you say, alcohol masks so many issues, i think we could all benefit from diving into that and facing that fact, regardless of whether we have a true problem or not. Thanks so so so much ❤❤
This video is truly amazing, I had a lump in my throat watching you open up in such a vulnerable way. As a long time viewer, this is such an eye-opener to the “behind the scenes” we can be so unaware of. This video is so inspiring and I really am looking forward to you making videos about shadow work if you choose to.
🥹💚 Thank you. Posting this was difficult, I didn’t think it would be as I am used to being open but goodness…not like this. Not about my ‘shadow side’ (100% will do a video on shadow work!)
Longtime watcher that doesn’t always comment here- but I wanted to congratulate you! Being sober for 4 years is absolutely amazing and you should be so proud and thank you so much for sharing this story with us!!!! My bio-dad was an alcoholic so I had a really hard time letting myself let go enough to actually get drunk so I guess a good thing came from a bad one. Now I’m a lightweight and I rarely have more than a drink or two and I really like it. Alcohol is fun but it doesn’t own me and I enjoy the social lubricant aspect and mostly only drink with friends or in groups but I can see how easy and slippery a slope it is…. Thanks again for sharing your story with us! 💚💚💚💚
Just over a year ago I went sober. Your account was pivotal to this and I'm so grateful for those videos of yours that helped to guide me. Since then my life has completely changed. I was a horrible person when I was drunk and soooo selfish. I'm very socially anxious so I used drink to help me socialise and ended up getting into crowds that regularly took drugs and only liked me because I was fun to go out with. These friendships always turned out to be awful in the end, as sober these people had no interest in me and our values fundamentally clashed. After letting all of this go, I now have friends who truly like me for me, and I have a much better relationship with my boyfriend and my parents. This sort of content is so powerful and important. Thank you so much for all your bravery and love xxx
Keep doing these sorts of videos. You have no idea how much these help and make others feel less silly or alone. So happy to see you glowing and shining. Sorry for your bad experiences, as a woman I can say I have had those experiences as well. Bug hugs
I am currently pregnant and I am considering never drinking again. I never had a "rock bottom" moment but I see so much of myself in your story. Mostly, I say things when drinking that I would never say otherwise that I am embarrassed by later or I black out and remember things in pieces. It is just an icky feeling and even though I love drinking, truly it is such a comfort to sit down after a long day with a glass of wine!! I don't think it is worth how I behave when I go too far. This is good inspiration. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing 💚
Thanks so much for sharing. It’s incredibly hard to be vulnerable publicly but is such a gift to others ❤
You seem so much calmer and relaxed in yourself since the earlier video! Thanks for your openness I am planning on quitting for as long as I can! ❤️
Thank you for sharing Mel! And congrats on 4 years sober
Thanks for sharing this Melanie even though it was hard to talk about 💚 definitely food for thought, and you should be very proud of yourself
I'm lifelong sober. I have always viewed alcohol as a literal poison and why anyone would want to consciously make the effort to poison themselves absolutely baffles me.
I have nothing against those who do drink, it's a choice we can all make as adults but it has always greatly confused me as to why so many people make the choice to literally poison themselves and damage their bodies and organs X
I think it helps people to feel connected in a world full of disconnection…I know many people who only EVER open up (even a tiny bit!) when drunk. Otherwise they are only capable of small talk. It’s sad! 💔 But I get why many people feel they need it. Connection is everything x
Congrats on 4 years!! I’ll be 6 years sober in September. I don’t think it gets any less hard but there is a lot of joy 💚💚
You are amazing congratulations on making it to 4 years you are doing well and are probably better off without it
Yesss well done Melanie, I’m so proud of you too!! Would love to see videos on shadow work and transactional analysis :D
So freaking proud of you ♥️♥️♥️
I went sober for a few reasons. The biggest one is that it triggers migraines for me now. The other reasons are for health benefits (especially better mental health) and to feel safer. I miss the relaxed feeling it gave me, as it relieved me of my anxiety. Now I enjoy mocktails, smoothies, and teas instead. The benefits of being sober outweigh what I miss from alcohol, so it's completely worth it.
I've been watching your videos since 2015 ish.
I think your "Imm quitting" video was the first video I ever watched of yours... I resonated so much with you at the time. Still do. So proud of you!