Is Marriage Supposed To Be For Better or for Worse?

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 118

  • @elizabethcortez6754
    @elizabethcortez6754 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    This helped me immensely. I feel such guilt for needing to get out of my abusive marriage. I'm a Christian my husband is not currently following the Lord. This video set me free. Please pray for me. I've been married to my husband for 29 years and he's worse today not better. I want to live the life Christ has for me. Thx. Bless you all!

    • @moniqueanders563
      @moniqueanders563 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Praying for you

    • @NaggingThoughts
      @NaggingThoughts 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Elizabeth Cortez So sorry you are going through this after so many years. God bless you with protection, wisdom, comfort & freedom in Christ.

    • @j919or
      @j919or 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Leslie Varniok just encouraged another divorce. Liz u lead the Christ life in the middle of difficulty, not by running from it , in disobedience to HIS commands not to divorce. Woe unto you! and Woe unto Leslie!

    • @NaggingThoughts
      @NaggingThoughts 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Johnny A Is that how you build up The Body of Christ by stomping on bruised reeds?! You disrespect her by not even bothering to address her by her name & then curse her for leaving an abusive marriage that she endured for almost as long as Christ was on earth. She proved she was long suffering & you have absolutely no idea how endangered she &/or any dependent lives were due to abuse. You are acting as an ally to evil, not compassion.
      Ecclesiastes 8:11, Proverbs 22:3, Matthew 18:15-17, Luke 14:26 & 1 Corinthians 5:5 are Biblical principles and so is divorce! Matthew 19:8 says it’s in God’s law because of hardness of heart & 29 years of growing in sin is proof of that.
      Why do you try to morally strong arm the daughters of God with your disdain? Do you also say woe to God for divorcing both Israel AND Judah in Jeremiah?

    • @j919or
      @j919or 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@NaggingThoughts hmmmm. strong rebuke is due for those that openly display their contempt for GODs will in favor of coddling their personal temporary feeling of well being

  • @taraelmegreen5527
    @taraelmegreen5527 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I was told that unless I produced evidence of the physical abuse or filing a police report, then I was sinning and wasn't allowed in the congregation anymore and told I couldn't come to services, my divorce wasn't considered biblical. It felt monumental to have that heaped on me in addition to what I was already going thru with 28 years of abuse....thankfully I wasn't a new Christian or it would've pushed me from the church. Moving into my own place Dec 1 and I'm looking forward to my own life finally beginning.
    #strugglinginoklahoma

  • @susanlumen4489
    @susanlumen4489 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Thank you so much for speaking the truth about the issue of abusive relationships. I really needed this info and encouragement. In the 18 years of our marriage I left 7 times. The last time was 19 months ago and I moved 900 miles away, built my home, got into counseling and now even got a job at 65 years old. But I have not seen any change in my husband other than he seems to be getting worse. He turned my sons into flying monkeys for his cause which wasn’t hard as their father was also a narcissistic abuser. They learned well how to put me down and be disrespectful from him. All that to say, I still haven’t started divorce proceedings because I am in business with him and am waiting on the right timing to make sure that financially he can’t sabotage me or my future. Something he has done repeatedly in the past when he felt threatened that I might leave him. So thank you for your help to keep us all in the truth of the Word. God bless you!!

    • @NaggingThoughts
      @NaggingThoughts 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Susan Lumen God bless you with protection & wisdom. I pray that, if it’s God’s will, that you would be able to find an income completely independent of a sabotaging bully so that you do not remain codependent & reliant on such a person. I know personally that God is able to provide even if it’s a substantial hardship to start over from scratch so late in life. I pray God provided family & friends that you can lean on to completely break free from all ties to abuse. God bless.

  • @donnadonnabobonna9359
    @donnadonnabobonna9359 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Leslie, you’ve helped me more than all the other counsel, bible teachings and preachings, than anyone else. Thank you.

  • @overcomingone7058
    @overcomingone7058 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    So wonderful to hear from you again. I have been condemned over this on and off for a few years now
    as I am stuck in an abusive marriage I cannot get out of. I think you finally set me free.
    Thank you so much dear sister. God bless you.
    Looking forward to the end which is so very near now. So I am especially grateful to you for
    clearing this up for me so I can have confidence.

  • @godsswimmer78
    @godsswimmer78 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you thank you thank you for this video!!!!!

  • @verogarcia9592
    @verogarcia9592 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I saw the same thing and mentioned it to my family when they quoted that "God hates devorce", and that marriage vows are "for better or for worse ". They still refused to accept my decision. So I decided to love them but stop expecting them agree with me. I distanced myself from them also.

  • @kellyspinelli4943
    @kellyspinelli4943 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Super! Common sense and Biblical Wisdom! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

  • @RachelSmith-vm2jt
    @RachelSmith-vm2jt 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I married a man who destroyed me with his words and actions. We have been apart for over 6 months. He got violent. He literally sent me a Valentine card asking me to " marry him again for better or worse". He never said sorry or repented. EVER. I am so broken and confused. I've wanted to hold on to hope. He has not sought counsel . I know I must let this go and move on.

    • @judymwangi7411
      @judymwangi7411 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Love yourself

    • @_amoopoint_1458
      @_amoopoint_1458 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hi Rachel, how are things?

    • @j919or
      @j919or 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      you were destroyed bc u were hostile to GOD and not in love with GOD and you had all distorted hopes. Believers are growing like weeds suffering severe persecution, while u whine and complain in self pity. Woe unto you!

    • @buraddo79
      @buraddo79 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Rachel, ignore the man who said woe unto you. But don’t simply believe that Leslie is endorsing divorce. I was unloving to my wife. I was never violent but I was harsh and unkind. She left me three times. The Lord finally opened my eyes through an article on Desiring God. I began to see my sin. But he’d been working on me little by little even before. I was just never able to see my sin so clearly then. Don’t give up hope. Don’t think your only option is the end of the marriage. I do agree that marriage is for life and saying that God hates many other things does not really make doing any of them ok. Call out to him in the day of trouble. Don’t be fooled by the “happiness” of women who divorced and think they are now truly alive. Separate if you need to in order to get your heart some rest but prey for your husband daily. Ask the Lord to soften his heart. And don’t stop hoping in the Lord. If it is safe, return to your husband. And if he is no longer violent but he is not very loving, look to what Peter says in 1 Pet. 3 (I know it’s not popular to say this but how comforting it could be to see that Peter addresses your very situation). Ask the men of the church to hold him accountable. And pray for him. That is never something I hear in these counsels. Most of all, don’t despair. God hating divorce means he loves your marriage more than you do. I wish I could say these things better. Trust him and his word. I feel for you, sister.

    • @RachelSmith-vm2jt
      @RachelSmith-vm2jt 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@buraddo79 I'm glad that you allowed God to give you another chance with your wife. My ex never changed. His violent behavior was life threatening. A loaded gun to my head. I do hope he gets his life straightened out and seeks The Lord . I struggled for 10 months ,emotionally ,before deciding to end the marriage. Per the State ,he has not been allowed to make contact with me for over a year and still cannot for the duration of his 2 year probation sentence. I listened to Leslie because I desired godly council. My anger is gone. Now it is sadness. Take care ,I do hope your marriage is thriving.

  • @taraelmegreen5527
    @taraelmegreen5527 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Such wonderfully helpful words! I'm sooo grateful I've found you! #strugglinginoklahoma

  • @RB-bb2tw
    @RB-bb2tw 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Leslie I really wish you would do a series for men.

  • @cheriethornhill9455
    @cheriethornhill9455 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Impactful......I appreciate your counsel......discusses the issues many dont want to address ....,as women we feel so unheard ........and counsel seem so one sided and thwarts true biblical orinciples

  • @goldenrulebanner2896
    @goldenrulebanner2896 ปีที่แล้ว

    Well said!

  • @NaggingThoughts
    @NaggingThoughts 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    God *might* hate divorce, but Jeremiah 3:8 says He Himself has been divorced. So it’s not something inherently sinful to initiate &/or go through. Also Matthew 19:8 says the “certain cases” that qualify for a biblical divorce are those that fall under a hardness of heart & you don’t get a better example of a hard heart than abusing someone you profess to love.

    • @j919or
      @j919or 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      hardness of heart is men sending away their wives. GODs solution is to help the innocent party from being destitute with the bill of divorcement. That bill was not for wives to use to get divorced but to protect them after the husbands sent them away. SO much confusion, perhaps bc women are easily deceived and not able to see clearly.

    • @NaggingThoughts
      @NaggingThoughts 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Johnny A You are all over the map & unable to stay on point with arguments that are presented. Women are not any more easily deceived than men. The fact that you believe such a self-serving lie is proof of how easily deceived you are as a man. Jesus is The Truth & believers are called to be one in Him (John 17:21) without regard to ethnicity, class or gender (Galatians 3:28) because God is no respecter of persons (Acts 10:34) & He abhors using differing weights to measure things (Proverbs 20:10). But you desire to segregate God’s people & measure them differently on the basis of gender in order to grasp at authority in defiance of Philippians 2:5-7.
      The reason Paul cited the fact that Eve was deceived in 1 Timothy 2:14 was to refute of the false teachers (1 Timothy 1:3) who were appealing to their intuition (gnostic logic) that they grounded solely in their gender (and ability to give life) rather than the scriptures that they were ignorant of (1 Timothy 1:7) and whom just happened to be women in the church of Ephesus because of the influence of Artemis worship.
      The fact that you can look at a clear prohibition against an erroneous appeal to supposed knowledge that is grounded in gender as an alleged qualification for teaching, preaching or exercising authority rather than the word of God in order to do exactly that also demonstrates your high vulnerability to deception & flattery as a man.
      You are also blind to the vast difference in cultural dynamics in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 & America in this day & age. Deuteronomy 24:1 permitted the hard hearted to evict a woman from his house. So the driving cause of his hard heart that resulted in a wife being sent away &/or legally divorced was clear. But American law incentivized the hard hearted to keep an unloved wife in a dead & abusive marriage in order to not be evicted from the house &/or face loss of child custody or garnished wages. Those well-intended secular laws put a bounty on an unloved/hated wife’s head that your self-serving one flesh eisegesis compounds. A hard hearted “believer” in your false doctrine is more moral if he murdered his wife & repents than a would-be victim taking heed of Proverbs 22:3 to follow David’s example with Saul by fleeing evil without retaliation or naive reconciliation.
      You take God’s grace for granted (that none of us are entitled to) in order to use marriage as a tool to categorically exalt man (not God) & lord over the women of God in defiance of Mark 10:42-43. You use God’s word as a weapon of oppression to crush bruised reeds rather than as a salve to bind their wounds. You also use it as a tool to encourage self-deception in the hard hearted that removes their obligation to have the fear of God which is the BEGINNING of wisdom.

    • @j919or
      @j919or 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@NaggingThoughts Paul said that you are more easily deceived than men. You refute Paul. And how am I all over the map? You gave no specifics. Currently you reveal that you have lost control of yourself, because you are in error in everything you typed here. Galatians3.28 does not regard roles and strengths and weaknesses specific to gender nor does it negate that Paul said that women are not to teach me, because Eve was an example of how women are easily deceived.

    • @NaggingThoughts
      @NaggingThoughts 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Johnny A You present your own eisegetical traditions that are grounded outside of scripture as if it’s the word of God through Paul. Paul never made any such value comparison between the genders on the human capacity to be deceived. You twist scripture to make that self-serving claim.
      You are all over the map because this thread was about God having been divorced & you are arguing about women teaching. That is illogical & a logical person grounded in truth would easily recognize that.
      Your personal attacks are not only untrue, even if I was emotional (aka “lost control”), it’s a red herring & completely irrelevant. Even if I am a terrible &/or crazy person, that has no bearing on the truth which remains.
      We won’t agree & I’ve provided amble Biblical evidence to refute your false teachings for those with tender hearts & ears to hear God’s word. This channel is for helping to heal abused women of God. If you want to use theology to spiritually batter women, finding a video relevant to the topics you want to discuss makes more sense & would be more respectful to everyone else on this page.

    • @j919or
      @j919or 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@NaggingThoughts Paul said that Eve was deceived as a reason that women should not teach

  • @Sandra-qu8sx
    @Sandra-qu8sx 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you .

  • @j919or
    @j919or 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    GOD is with us forever and for better and for worse and HE gives the grace to endure intense suffering. Sin does not separate us from GOD and HIS presence. She is twisting the bible to fit her agenda @ 2.44. The Holy Spirit is grieved but HE never leaves.

    • @j919or
      @j919or 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      "a wife must not separate from her husband"...no exception clause there, no conditions, no what ifs. If it gets really bad call for help of the elders of the church to help your husband.

    • @savedbygrace6108
      @savedbygrace6108 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      May the Lord REBUKE YOU for stubbornly abusing, manipulating and lying. You leave many wrong and twisted comments on the channel. May the Lord judge you and purge you because of His mighty love for you that you may truly become a man of God🙏

    • @elizabethretzlaff7612
      @elizabethretzlaff7612 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes, God is with us no matter what (if you're a believer) but that doesn't mean He approves of our choices. I think He allowes natural consequences. He'll be there if, when we repent but God opposes the proud. If one thinks they know better than God (an abusive person generally does) God will be against them

    • @j919or
      @j919or 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@elizabethretzlaff7612 while what u said is mostly true, it doesnt justify your reactions. Choices are the lie of modern evangelicalism. You do and choose according to what you believe and what you believe is affected by what you hear from false teachers like Leslis. Believe this. 1. Your flesh is evil and demonic as are all the thoughts that come from it Romans 7. 2. Then believe that the Spirit of GOD working in u has unlimited power Eph3.20 to change your thinking and fill u with the wisdom of GOD Romans 12.2,3 to give you boldness and ability to never again run from difficulty but embrace it Acts 4 for HIS glory and to grow to be like HIM

  • @j919or
    @j919or 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am praying that she would be stopped. Not by might and not by power but by the Spirit of the LORD.

    • @j919or
      @j919or 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Women are never to teach the bible to anyone, in a formal group setting, because they are easily deceived. Women tend to gauge truth as a servant to bring comfort and dismiss pain and as a means to better relationship, when truth must be first objectively discerned to accurately align with GODs will and not be sloppily interpreted to fuel a desired result.

    • @NaggingThoughts
      @NaggingThoughts 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Johnny A Your statement that women are not to teach the Bible to anyone is false. Proverbs 1:8 commands us to not forsake your mother’s teaching & the word for teaching there is the word Torah (aka God’s law). Proverbs 31:1 identifies this chapter as the instructional words of Bathsheba. In verses 1-9, her instructions command the king & the salacious nature of some of her instruction makes it obvious that this advice is not for a small child, but a grown man. Also, Titus 2:3 explicitly commands older wives to teach younger wives. If women were easily deceived as you allege, God would have never commanded that the Torah taught by mother’s is not be forsaken, nor would God allow the instructional words of a woman to become part of cannon, nor would He have commanded women teach.
      If you find any fault in anything Leslie is teaching, you should be able to reason from scriptures rather than abusing scripture as a categorical weapon (aka ad hominem/personal attack/logical fallacy).

    • @j919or
      @j919or 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@NaggingThoughts Titus 2.3 never tells women to teach other women the bible, but rather to teach HOW to love husbands. You are the one that forsakes the scriptures just like you misinterpret them here. No command to teach is given in Proverbs 1.8. It is unclear what the mother taught. Perhaps what the father told her to teach about dos and donts of the law.

    • @NaggingThoughts
      @NaggingThoughts 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Johnny A You are correct about Titus. However the detail of what older wives teach younger wives does not preclude women from their moral obligation to the great commission of making disciples of all nations or sharpening iron. Also it is clear what was not be forsaken in a mother’s teaching because because the word used in Hebrew is Torah which I assume you know directly refers to the law of God.

    • @j919or
      @j919or 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@NaggingThoughts at the time of Proverbs the law was in effect and no one needed to teach the law because it was straight forward, so the mom just encouraged the children to obey it or else danger would come to their lives. Regardless, the proverb was giving no command for women to teach. THe great commission was not directed to women but to men. Wives have the role of supporting the men. Women also were prophesying then and that was fine if done in order.