Dating Is About Experiences Not Outcomes
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ก.พ. 2024
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Instructions unclear, all my friends got married and forgot about me.
hey aren't better than you just because they are now married. Reach out to them if it still makes you sad, you'll also make other friends if you open up to it
Same here
Me too😢
I think the instructions are be a monk and then you get to go hiking with girls
@@shelby6 Didnt say they were better than me. I'm just more alone than them lol.
It's just that it's uneventful and life is uninspiring.
Life is about accepting the hand you're dealt and playing the options you do have.
I think the problem is that we only ask someone out if we have feelings for them that is why we try to impress and constantly feeling uneasy and nervous.
Yeah, if you go with a group then it's less likely to turn intimate and if a guy and a girl go somewhere together, it's assumed to be romantic even if it's not.
That's why this needs to be said. I matured greatly in the first 6 years of my adulthood. Just remember you don't need to fix everything at once, your goal is to slowly develop a better human - because trust me, it makes a world of difference in the long run.
Fun fact, only the one who don't need a partner can go on dates. Cool, social, rich. That tipe of people can try again and again. And the lonely, 5/10, the one who really needs someone to care about or just for taking, we mark them as "Weird", "Ugly", "Unpleasant". And than, than, we ask "Why are the male suicide rate is riching the stars?"
@@tanzim37 If you "need someone to care about" how about you start with caring about yourself. Also you can form other meaningful connections that aren't romantic. If you had other social support, you wouldn't feel so desperate
The therapist part of me wants to ask you to make this an "I" statement, lol, but this is the internet and not a session (you're not wrong though)
The advent of therapist influencers is amazing for humanity
Fuckin wild that healthy gamer, pirate software, and dantes are all in the same genre of "wait i took their advice and it actually worked" lmfao
No. Because most are Influencer "therapists" who parrot shit advice. The actual, competent, educated, certified therapists who are also influencers are rare.
Not really, they're essentially selling a more detailed version of he exact same shit advice that rarely works.
Ignoring reality by making it sound better is _still_ ignoring reality.
@@DTreatzhis advice isn't "ignoring reality" a single solution doesn't work for everyone and he's made this clear several times, also cynicism and swear words don't make your point right
@@kishinslayer2228who are pirate software and dantes?
instructions unclear, I'm learning Polish to be a polished version of myself
Mam tu przewagę. Ja urodziłem się wygładzony.
😂😂
Kurwa
Jak sie nauczysz polskiego to język będziesz miał wypolerowany 😂
@@OccuredJakub12 Haha good one 😂
I did this same thing when going on our first couple of dates. We were friends, but she liked me and I decided to see if I liked her back. So we went shopping, got food, talked, etc. And I just chilled and hung out like it was any other day with a friend.
We celebrated two years this past fall
That's awesome! ❤ Congrats!
Reddit.
This is the way
No, dude. You celebrated two years this last autumn. Stop trying to make fall a season name, americans.
I didn't do the "vibe check" part and then I ignored the fact that I wasn't feeling the dates well bc "omg she likes me I'm gonna have a girlfriend" and then I ended up in a doomed relationship
this is important stuff listen to this man
Or you're putting the person you're dating into a shitty place. I dated someone who "just wasn't that into me" for 2.5 years. Saw a future with him and tried to explain to him that his dismissive avoidance was hurting me. That I want alone/me time and my own friends and hobbies, too. That communicating and planning those times isn't taking away his freedom or "managing his time". But when I brought up maybe moving in together at some point in future, after 2.5 years together, he hightailed it out of there and told me he has never been in love with me and just liked me enough to hang out twice a week and go on vacations and to family things together. Can't even say he used me for fun time, because his drive was waaayy below mine and I was the one begging for more. But who knows if he had other girls or something...
So, please don't get into situationships just for the sake of "having a girlfriend/boyfriend". I learned my lesson and do the vibe check and don't accept avoidant behavior anymore.
@@SticksWithPicksomg this was EXACTLY the same with my ex. Did we date the same guy?😂
Well its like you buy equipment for your business....thinking " I will never have to work manulally or somehing"..... people rush too much, to fast.... because fast food industry taught people to have instant food instantly....clicking a button, to have everything intantly....but relationships dont work that way, everything goes slow, ....to tteach you to "ENJOY" life and to "ENJOY" a present moment...... As Deepak Chopr asaid its wrong to live in past or in furture.... The ones who live in future and constantly thinka bout future, can never live in present moment....and feel not satisfied, because when theyfinally get to the future goals, there are not there....thye are not present, living in present moment , be conected with the present slf... so when the future event finally happens, they are not there .....their mind is again in the future, so they never enjoy the present moment, constantly watching the closck and time. What he means is this....... When ? When , today....yes yes yes, it happens today.... I am happy......wait a minute...I can not be happy today, at thi smoment....my subconscious mind learned to be constantly in future...so I am not here,I am actually there in future....I can not be connected to my true self to my current feeelings....... I can not be happy now and enjoy my house and car and my current wife.... my mind is constanly planning the future .
I used to feel guilty going on dates with people even though I didn't find them initially attractive. I just believed in giving people a chance. I'm glad I did it and in a respectful way. I got to know awesome things about people and got to get a lot of experience. All that experience helps me in the awesome relationship that I have right now.
Bed experience?
Y'all I can't echo this enough. Bringing your best self to the date and treating the other person with authenticity and kindness is all you need to do on a date.
Maybe they want to go on another date, maybe not. Either way, you likely had fun and learned something new about a stranger!
I spent 7 years worrying about date outcomes, but only a few years after dropping that mentality I met the love of my life and it's been the purest, most wonderful experience for the both of us ❤
Well its like you buy equipment for your business....thinking " I will never have to work manulally or somehing"..... people rush too much, to fast.... because fast food industry taught people to have instant food instantly....clicking a button, to have everything intantly....but relationships dont work that way, everything goes slow, ....to tteach you to "ENJOY" life and to "ENJOY" a present moment...... As Deepak Chopr asaid its wrong to live in past or in furture.... The ones who live in future and constantly thinka bout future, can never live in present moment....and feel not satisfied, because when theyfinally get to the future goals, there are not there....thye are not present, living in present moment , be conected with the present slf... so when the future event finally happens, they are not there .....their mind is again in the future, so they never enjoy the present moment, constantly watching the closck and time. What he means is this....... When ? When , today....yes yes yes, it happens today.... I am happy......wait a minute...I can not be happy today, at thi smoment....my subconscious mind learned to be constantly in future...so I am not here,I am actually there in future....I can not be connected to my true self to my current feeelings....... I can not be happy now and enjoy my house and car and my current wife.... my mind is constanly planning the future .
The biggest change for was to stop thinking during a date "I hope she likes me" and started to think "I hope I like her"
🤔😼👏👏 awesome!!!
Someone needed to tell me this 15 years ago. I seriously misunderstood what dating was my whole adult life, and found it so intimidating.
My approach, the objective of each date:
Date 1 - are we interested in a second date (do we "vibe")?
Date 2 - do we have enough in common to make dating worthwhile (will it be a struggle to find things we both want to do)?
Date 3 - are any concerning patterns starting to emerge?
Dates 4+ - would we be a viable couple?
That isn't set in stone, but it emphasizes that dating is supposed to be fun before anything else.
I always tell my dates to focus on having fun. If they have fun, it’s a success. Even if I get ghosted, I’ve found some great sites from dates
i agrée, should also add though, make sure the other person is having fun.
Went on a first date a few days ago, and i was enjoying it. But mistake on my part, was not paying attention to my date much.
Thought it was going well, cos we passed the physical contact barrier, held hands and flirted with each other. She even texted me hearts after the date. Wake up next morning, blocked on everything.
Looking back, could’ve been more attentive, more romantic, and more empathetic towards her. She was more of an introverted girl, but i brought her into an extroverted type of date. Bad idea.
@@waseerahman3734not a mistake on your part though in the long run. You want someone that will have fun with you while you’re having fun. Don’t need to step down from your fun train imo
@@waseerahman3734 She sent you hearts after the date and then still blocked you? Kinda odd. But oh well, it wasn't meant to be, and it's great that you took something away from the experience!
Omg, SUCH a game changer. I'm not actively looking for romance, but I treat friends the same way, so this is super helpful for me
Great outlook and reminder. I’ll keep it in mind in case lightning strikes and I miraculously get a date. 😅
This is all fine, but often the problem is to get a date at all.
Indeed.
Haha agreed 😊
It’s having the time and money to date for me😂
Well its like you buy equipment for your business....thinking " I will never have to work manulally or somehing"..... people rush too much, to fast.... because fast food industry taught people to have instant food instantly....clicking a button, to have everything intantly....but relationships dont work that way, everything goes slow, ....to tteach you to "ENJOY" life and to "ENJOY" a present moment...... As Deepak Chopr asaid its wrong to live in past or in furture.... The ones who live in future and constantly thinka bout future, can never live in present moment....and feel not satisfied, because when theyfinally get to the future goals, there are not there....thye are not present, living in present moment , be conected with the present slf... so when the future event finally happens, they are not there .....their mind is again in the future, so they never enjoy the present moment, constantly watching the closck and time. What he means is this....... When ? When , today....yes yes yes, it happens today.... I am happy......wait a minute...I can not be happy today, at thi smoment....my subconscious mind learned to be constantly in future...so I am not here,I am actually there in future....I can not be connected to my true self to my current feeelings....... I can not be happy now and enjoy my house and car and my current wife.... my mind is constanly planning the future .
It shouldn't be too hard if you are at least average looking, keep approaching, see what works and what doesn't, and you'll soon be on a date
Went out for the experience not outcome, but the experience is always draining no matter how much I let go of expectation.
This is very true and I can’t believe it has been forgotten by the online generation. It is actually very simple, people just make things too complicated
I never picked to be with no one. It just happened.
that perspective takes a lot of your control from your life
@@meeese6_ It's not like you have any real control on your life, so why delude yourself?
@@firion666 Cringe. Someday you'll realize how much agency over your life you truly had. You'll have long forgotten about this comment but you'll be surprised by reflecting on all the moments you could've made a difference.
You were simply obsessed with controlling the wrong things.
@meeese6_ It maybe, but you not denying it's true
@@triarii9257 I doubt it. I'm 56 and lived a good life, that teached me the moments of feeling 'empowered' the way you spelled it are much more cringe in the retrospect that the ones of unashamed honesty.
We and everything that happens around us is only a product of effect and a cause, that started too long ago for us to be in any way in control over anything.
Bold of you to assume I can get a date
Right?
How many of your opposite sex are saying the same thing? The same as your sex
I don't mind something fizzling after a few dates. It's the ending after 3-4 months that f*s with me
Myself i just kinda hang with whoever i feel has a great vibe, and then if anything happens it happens, you gotta indeed relax and just go with the flow most of the time, dont fight life and it should come natural, in some cases tho
this used to be common sense until social media invented “the influencer” and everyone got brainwashed into self marketing 😂
Basically bringing a representative of you rather than the real you?
While I'm sure social media made it worse, I strongly believe this existed long before it
@@shepard-commander yep everything is just a remix at this point.
That’s why I consider even my friendzones as relationships because they taught me a lot about certain female behaviors as well as what type of partners I should avoid.
Anybody want an experience?
So this is why i always get crushed on by people i have no feelings for and rejected by people i do 😊
Instructions unclear, I have become a monk in rural China
Well its like you buy equipment for your business....thinking " I will never have to work manulally or somehing"..... people rush too much, to fast.... because fast food industry taught people to have instant food instantly....clicking a button, to have everything intantly....but relationships dont work that way, everything goes slow, ....to tteach you to "ENJOY" life and to "ENJOY" a present moment...... As Deepak Chopr asaid its wrong to live in past or in furture.... The ones who live in future and constantly thinka bout future, can never live in present moment....and feel not satisfied, because when theyfinally get to the future goals, there are not there....thye are not present, living in present moment , be conected with the present slf... so when the future event finally happens, they are not there .....their mind is again in the future, so they never enjoy the present moment, constantly watching the closck and time. What he means is this....... When ? When , today....yes yes yes, it happens today.... I am happy......wait a minute...I can not be happy today, at thi smoment....my subconscious mind learned to be constantly in future...so I am not here,I am actually there in future....I can not be connected to my true self to my current feeelings....... I can not be happy now and enjoy my house and car and my current wife.... my mind is constanly planning the future .
ʕ•ε•ʔ thanks Dr K haha as a 34 y o lady in Manila I needed this. I need to be reminded of this thank you
Sending you lots of love from Manila
Who is Manila
@@thimblebirb er Manila is a place. Its actually the capital of the Philippines 😄
Much like Tokyo is the capital of Japan.
Same with Beijing, China.
Jakarta, Indonesia. Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Seoul, S. Korea.
and Taipei, Taiwan
😎Well.... Thats awkward 🤣
Man, I wish I could even get a date. Every time I ask someone out I get told "lol no"
The idea that both people show up as themselves is the only thing he got wrong. They both show up hiding as many faults and showcasing what they think are good qualities. It's your job to figure out what they're hiding on the first or second date so you can move on if needed. This isn't a bad thing, but it's just like a job interview - no one is going to highlight that they were unemployed for 5 years or that they got fired from their last job because they are terrible. You have to figure that out.
I wish it was this simple😢...
I rather be alone. I already know the vibe. I already know the outcome. The experience is horrible. Nobody wants to do anything. No fun. No enjoyment. No socializing. At least be honest and ignore me completely. Thank you❤
As an aromantic person, hard agree. I feel so much more comfortable on dates when we’re not taking it that seriously. Some guys will be super romantic or overly lovey on the first date. This is an immediate turn off. a.) I know it’s not genuine because they barely know me and b.) it might mean they’re going to be aggressively romantic in our relationship which I wouldn’t appreciate obviously. I am very upfront about not being interested in going past some fun and hanging out due to my aromanticism, if a guy can’t process that then it means we’re not a good match. I think knowing what kind of experience you really want is going to help a lot more then trying to sneak in bed with someone when they want a romantic connection far before that point. That’s why gay dating culture with all it’s flaws is still far and away a better experience. Those barriers of some people pretending they want a traditional relationship are gone, and when people are more direct about their intentions it helps to filter out what you do and don’t want. Of course there are still people who want that monogamous kind of relationship, but the opportunity is there to pursue something different. If I was straight, idk how I would fare in comparison because people are far less open about wanting something other then a romantic relationship.
You don't need to be romantic to go past some fun. That's a broken attachment
@@88thevik Does it matter if that's true or not though? Sure I could go past a FWB relationship, but that would just make me unhappy. And it has in the past. It's the same if I was asexual, everybody has different ways of being together. I'm making an attachment with both people's boundaries in mind. If they don't want what I'm looking for, there's plenty of fish in the sea. It's okay if you feel differently though. Just have been more satisfied since I broke down that barrier. That fear of them expecting romantic outcomes is gone when I'm upfront about it. I'm not going out with guys on the daily, I'm a busy person and don't need or want to do it that much. Just when I do, I set these boundaries to create a better time and relationship. I find that prioritizing my emotional safety helps me meet more guys and have more dating experiences that don't feel one-sided.
so... u smell good?
Damn, I used to fall hard, come off too strong and push them away. I’d get heart eyes when a girl I found attractive showed interest in me. I haven’t had that issue anymore, but it feels good to read your perspective.
If you struggle to even get a date, then you can't help but be focused on outcome. Dating is literally a life and death struggle when you aren't given any opportunities.
Considering we evolved as extremely social animals where in ancient times, without relationships you would literally be kicked out of the tribe and die.
@@arraikcruor6407 I don't think so because if you didn't have relationships with anyone, then you weren't part of a tribe, so there isn't really anyone to kick you out of the "tribe." But most of us would have had relationships if we lived at that time tho.
I feel like it's impossible for me to do that with anyone that I'm actually attracted to. If I care I care about the other person at all, I get too tense because I'm afraid to fuck up anything. On the other hand, I have been on dates with two women that I wasn't actually that attracted to and they both seemed to be really into me. Probably in large part because I wasn't invented in the outcome at all.
Same. I guess the challenge is to learn to detach from those we care about, so the outcome becomes the one that happens with the ones we don't care about.
Have this mindset already. Simply can't get dates. Life is hard and empty without social bonds. I'm going through the motions waiting to die for the most part.
Look man i hangout with me all the time, as do many other people and honestly the responses i get from being myself or "being normal" are basically identical and not in a good way
I don’t even have anyone to ask out, I feel so behind, not even sure what to do
Yeah!! Very good. :D
Just be yourself. (A polished version of is a good way to phrase it!) If you're pretending to be someone you're not, or wanting something out of the experience as if it's transactional, then you're not living in and enjoying the moment, just as you are, one soul to another. Try and connect, really truly connect. See what happens ❤
So it's similar to test drive. Except you don't drive the car
Easy tip to practice how to hang out with women in a more casual way: make friends with lesbians. You get the entire female friendship experience, you go into it with zero expectations of romance anywhere down the line, and you get to also pick their brain and get honest feedback about your own dating life and what they might think from women who are also attracted to women, and the same kind of alienation that lesbians experience with straight women.
How do i meet anyone
I've returned to the dating game after 18 years and I'm very anxious about it due to self-worth issues. But this view helps tremendously; just getting the experience and enjoying myself? Absolutely.
Dr K is BASED.
...unless it's a hookup. Really... there's multiple types of date. And "vibecheck for relationship" is only one of them. It would generally be good if both parties could agree on the type of date they are having before starting one, but at the very least before they finish up one.
I've been cheated on so many times, I've also been meeting people "without thinking in an outcome" who suddenly started to pull out, or just stopped talking to me, and when I went to their social media, I saw they were publicly interacting a lot with another person in a very romantic way. And all that hurts, cause you think: even though I wasn't expecting an outcome, I feel I'm never enough. So I don't trust anyone anymore and I don't want to date anymore. Better alone with mental peace😊
It's like raiding in WoW. Show up, try to have as much fun as you can. Your loot maybe drops, maybe not. At least it was a fun experience.
This. Thinking back I wish someone had told me something in the lines of "just be friends with women", because I was so afraid of talking or being around them since my head perceived them all as "possible partners". Don't. Just vibe and things will take you some place or another.
Great explanation of a date 😊😊😊
Interesting take. Thoughts on who pays for these experiences?
The one who asks out is the one who pays. Generally that's the thumb rule. Otherwise 50-50 / seperate bills.
If you come from a traditionalist society like , me , I come from India where generally I , a Man , pays for the dates. The fact that I'm financially independent while my dates are dependent on allowances from parents does not helps either.
@@Sailed_awaynot everyone comes from traditional hellscape
@@Fiox789 so follow the thumb rule : the one who asked out , is the one who pays
I was celibate for 4 years after high school and had my spiritual journey during that time. This is definitely the same realization I had
Speaking as a man in his 30s, who’s been with plenty of women, dating just isn’t the same. I think we both(male,female) understand that a date isn’t about the objective to get laid/relationship/marriage, like you said. It’s a vibe check…but society has completely changed the way the majority perceives things or the illusion of having people perceive them. It’s just about dopamine blasts and instant gratification. Idk if ppl understand that in relationships there will be arguments and fights…I think most have just given up bc they believe in a Disney fairy tale.
This was good and true when you think about it more
Got it, so treat dating like completing the Pokédex. …Right?
No! Omg no. 🙈
Please treat humans as humans and not as a collectable
No, I think you're right, expose yourself to different experiences with all sorts of people and broaden your perspective as much as possible so that you can more accurately hone in on what it is you want out of life and your potential partner(s)
I guess we are like pokemon trying to find or earn our place in one another's parties, never thought about it like that, just don't be a HM slave I guess 🤷🏿♂️
@@AIRFGC but the relationship with Pokémons is one sided. People in your life are equal and not pets you collect
@@Thought.Strings speak for yourself, I love my fire starters more than I love half of my high school classmates, don't make me choose 🤣
Idk I just became a monk 6 years ago.
Haven’t dated or talked to women my age at all and honestly I haven’t felt better. I feel like I’ll just be judged for having thinning hair or not enough money so I’m just here to watch the world burn
In my culture, we don't think about dates as I see how it is in the United States specifically, and most of the ppl here are still doing things, as Dr.K. says here as example and from my own experience, as well for all my friends, we all meet people without the pre-idea for meeting a person to engage with, it just happens naturally. So my advice for everyone is just speak to ppl without building expectations from the beginning because the natural way starts with simple conversations, getting to know the person and be yourself just as you would speak to friend and see how it goes from there. Be a decent person, keep personal hygiene, be a good friend, and never keep anger or disappointment towards anyone, just accept no for answer bc until the "yes" there are many "no-s" and different ppl have their different reasons to take decisions.
Yesss I agree. Lemme just see what you about.
damn this is me, I fell into the trap of seeing dating as an uncomfortable means to an end (relationship) instead of trying to find enjoyment in it, safe to say that just doesn't work. I panicked, it was the first time feelings of mine were reciprocal, I promptly proceeded to be a complete mess on both chances I was generously given, and have since not so much as talked to women I'm interested in, been 1.5 years. Maybe not that bad since I'm not even out of college yet, but still, need to get back out there and get my life back together
I try to look at it like, I'm trying to make a friend. If we dont vibe, then that's it, and we respectfully go our own way. If we do vibe, then we see where else it could lead. And if it doesn't, you still made a friend! Just don't get trapped in the "friendzone" mentality, if they see you as a friend, just be their friend, and look for romantic persuits elsewhere. And if you don't like them as a friend, why are you still hanging out?
The best relationships are those where you're not only attracted to the person romantically or sexually, but platonically too. If your life partner is also your best friend, that's when you've made it.
That should be how it is.
If you click, then get more experience.
I can’t even get a date lol
This was a needed pep talk for me, we are having this great romantic themed dinner at my uni with the implication that this is a good time to get romantically involved with your classmates, and the pressure is kinda on
It’s about emotions and not about overthinking it.
This'll be great advice if I ever get someone to agree to go on a date with me.
I'm not a person interested in dating or romance, but isn't the outcome of dating supposed to be the experience?
I see dates as dry runs where you do something fun together and see if there's a match between the two. Why would you do things during a date that you wouldn't regularly do when you are together in a relationship or marriage? That makes no sense. That would be like doing pull ups to train for a marathon. Just go out with the sole purpose of having a fun day/night with the other person, that's all. Everything else is just overdoing it. And this way, if it turns out there's simply no chemistry, you at least had a fun time.
i want revenge i can’t let it go it feels like a cornerstone of me
I really like him
Ideally, a _first_ date, maybe the first couple, would just be "vibe checks." After that, an outcome of some sort is intended...which is why dating that person would continue. People have to be honest with themselves and each other about what that outcome should be...both should be on the same page.
I can’t afford to go on dates lol I takes walks at the park
"You can pick whatever"
You actually can't. You can't decide if anyone else will date you. That's not how it works.
Yeeessss Dr. K!!!!
But outcomes are part of the experience.....
Yes guys just don’t understand! So many men are talking like they’re expecting a date to be as if we’re together already. The dates are the build up to that, you can’t just skip them.
32 here, this really makes sense, calling it a vibe check just made the light bulb go off for me,
so dates should be abundant , the ones that stand out should be the one i pursue?
I guess that would make me more likely to want to date but ill have to work with my head a bit more cause i still just think it will be a massive waste of time
If it was then Maybe 30+ plus years ago you would be on the money but dating isn't even dating anymore in my opinion.
It's still good but it takes two to tango however one person owns the dance floor so I wish every guy the best truly without malice.
SPITTINNG FACTS
I simply stalk them without their knowledge so that when we do start dating, it's because she "for some reason" feels a strong magnetic connection between the two of us as if I haven't downloaded her entire personality over the course of a summer.
Thank you! It’s not a GAME to get something, like sex. It’s an experience, one less hour scrolling, a coffee shared, hopefully a funny joke or interesting story.
I need help, there is this girl I'm talking to, online, not on dating apps, I don't use dating apps at all I met her in a game, I have been talking to her for 1.5 months, and once in a while I start to feel emotional (I don't show it to her) with her, and 2 days ago, she was going through some problems and reached out to me, and we solved the problems together, and then she got emotional, and told me how grateful she was for me, and my heart skipped a beat and I panicked and told her I just did what any friend would do.
And now I'm having feelings for her, I don't want to just confess to her, just any progress is fine, I feel so terrible after what I said last time :(
If you have any experience give me some advice please
Good method
Takes alot of pressure off. Have a goal of gaining experience
NOOOO, NOW I HAVE HOPE AGAIN. FUCK. I NEED HELP
This guy looks indeed like Vivek 😂
Bro slipped in the monk comment
*exists*
She: eeww
lol, I’ve been doing this wrong all my life. 😂
Man this is actually game-changing! Can be applied to so much else other than dating as well.
Thought nowadays dates were just a free meal coupons 😂
for women 😊
Only for woman's. I can't stress enough about how bump the relationship dynamics is in our society. Man must give his time, money and entertain the girl. And a girl just sitting there, checking your value like some sort of product. And if she can afford it, because there ALWAYS more for her. 😅
@@tanzim37look those are the bad woman like the cute ones doing that maybe not cute mid I guess but you get the point they might be lying about doing it it’s instagram after all where they fake their vacation pics so if only makes sense that lost of the time average people don’t do this as much as we think like how we know that beauty standards are whatever hollywood pushes plus early 2000s skinny white girl now fat ass lips bbl etc
@@Ttyumbra i think it's mostly the problem of how we raise girls, we told them "You are a princess and everyone must give you attention", it's really hard to talk that out of their hand in adulthood.
I only go for coffee/tea dates for this reason. I’m a woman and in my country it’s usually the men that pay the tab, and I don’t want them to go under that kind of a financial burden for a date that might not work out. Coffee is not very cheap either but at least it’s cheaper than a full meal.
This is true, but what if after 6 dates, they still just want to “be casual”, but by then my intention is clear and I want to move towards exclusivity. At some point there has be an outcome right? Either we become exclusive, or we don’t-either way, that’s an outcome. Dating just for the experience alone sounds like a more palatable way to say “I just want to have fun”.
Tell her you're not interested in being casual and she should have her mind made up at this point if she wants to be with you.
Her reaction will be the outcome, but I wouldn't be hopeful after what told. 😢
@@firion666 yeah… me neither. But thanks for responding, kind stranger.
@@steve-ok2090 Don't let women dictate how you feel about yourself. That's very sad, but "experiencing" dates for them is getting free meal and some entertainment, without making any real connection. I saw another comment by girl perplexed by guys thinking that they are dating while she only dates for 'experience'.
That's a bummer
@@firion666 that’s the feeling I’m getting. I’m looking to establish a connection. My life isn’t 100% in order, but I’m unashamed. I’m still in school and drive an old car. I’ve wondered if that’s a turn off. It’s chill tho, I’m moving on. Thanks for responding.
@@steve-ok2090 I hope you'll find that connection and won't let selfish girls use your affection anymore. You deserve it, and if a woman see your car as a turnoff, she's not worth it anyway.
Take care and appreciate yourself
Cool! Lets see if i can find a date who doesnt have 6tf, 6figure minimum requirements first
This is good advice for people who get anxious on dates but YMMV for everyone else. This used to be my go-to and how my dates would show up too but sometimes when the vibe is too friendly with no romantic anticipation, it can dull the chemistry & you end up not feeling the “spark”. Yes, the spark is overrated most of the time, but the difference between spark & no spark is night & day unless you’re naturally spending alot of time with the “no spark” person
Yeah yeah
Reject modernity. Return to monke
true :(
This is such a silly perspective. You wouldn’t go on a date with someone if you didn’t think it could result in some type of romantic relationship.
@@Dimitris_Balf you make no sense. The whole point of dating is to form a romantic relationship. This whole idea of going in without any desired outcome is ridiculous.
Michael. 😂
This exchange is a reenactment of the voices in my head when my date gets up to go to the bathroom 😂
@@Dimitris_Balf But it's literally not true, if this is the point of dating then you are just dating people you have no attraction towards lol
I'm sorry but this is the PROBLEM with modern dating. "Go with the flow, man"
Could you elaborate? I don't really see the point you're trying to make
@@Dimitris_Balf To be honest, my point is to marry and start a family. I don't bring it up immediately when I date someone, but this is my goal. If I wasn't trying to do this, I would never go on dates. Dating feels like just another thing I do, like vacuuming the inside of my car or cooking meals. It's nothing against women. If I had to date men instead, I wouldn't like that either.
Saying "it's all about experience" is not a good way to phrase it. This is how you'll end up single in your thirties wondering why all dates suck now (the experience has lost its touch).
Yeah, he was wrong about that. It _is_ about the outcome. We just have to be realistic and honest about what we want the outcome to be.
Going on a date is where I stop you
I did the opposite. I went out with an eastern european Ukrainian chick and they want you to make them feel like a princess. So i spent a lot of money and again a lot of money on the second date and viola she became my girlfriend! But after a few months of me payinf for everything, including her trips to different cities and groceries and make up, i got sick and ditched her.
About an experience.. 😮😀🤔