things i wish i knew in my 20s (and 30s!!) - some radical life lessons
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 เม.ย. 2024
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In a couple of days, it will be my birthday again. And one thing I absolutely love about birthdays is that it sort of makes you ponder the whole concept of getting older, but also at the same time look back at just what you were thinking and who you were as a person one, five, or ten years ago. So I’ve been thinking about it, being in my thirties and my experience of this part of my life so far, and comparing it to how my twenties felt. Because you know, it’s almost universal, to feel like you're lost when you’re in your twenties and that you’re flailing trying to figure out who you are and what you want from life and just how to make those dreams for the future come true for you.
I talk about:
- failures
- mistakes
- going to university in sweden
- taking a gap year
- leaving your hometown
- finding yourself
- quarter life crisis
- nomadic life
- feeling left behind
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It's finally available :)
Pre-order the paperback version of OKAY DAYS:
Amazon: amzn.to/4bjt4ux
Waterstones: shorturl.at/bwKNR
Bookshop.org: shorturl.at/osvMX
Blackwells (FREE WORLDWIDE SHIPPING): shorturl.at/wSX08
oooo, any chance a Kindle version might also be coming out?
Yes it's been out on kindle since day one in the UK and countries where it is published :)
I've recently come to the conclusion that I don't actually need to have a life goal, a career, or to reach miles stones. Society says I do, but where's the law that says that? I wasn't made for the hustle. I was made to dilly dally. I can get a sense of achievement just by doing. Making a little painting, going to see a band, waking up early to do yoga and drink green tea.
Everyone has always asked me what I want to do, what do I want to be. But I just don't know. I didn't know when I was first asked at 6 years old, I didn't know when I was picking my first elective classes at 13, when I was having meetings with the careers advisor at 15 or when I was graduating at 17. I didn't know at 20 or 25, and I still don't know at 31. I'm actually dead tired of the question.
I've decided that it's actually okay for me to do what I've always done, stumble my way through life making it up as I go along with no real direction or clear goals. Because it's actually so stressful to me to be constantly hastled about who I am and what I'm doing.
I'd rather just daydream my way through, read a book, walk along the beach, lay in the sun with my cat in the winter.
I'll never be rich or famous or important, and I don't need to be.
My idea of a "successful" life is to just live it.
‘The meaning of life is to experience life.’, paraphrasing Michael Singer
Noch ist Polen nicht verloren 🧑🏿🚀
I love that too and I feel similar. But how do you get by? Do you have a side job that doesn’t require much effort? I still feel stressed and forced into a busy career because I need it to pay my rent and be able to travel places
I totally agree with you. A few years ago I was fresh out of university with an environmental science degree and no idea of what to do. All I knew is I wanted a job that allowed me to be in nature, and that it's kind of hard to find such a job. I felt completely lost because I had no clear objective meanwhile my peers were furthering their studies with a clear goal in mind like becoming a doctor, or had already found a job. So for a few years I just tried things out, volunteered, enrolled in a post-university course, hoping to find my way. Then all of a sudden the perfect job opportunity popped up, so I worked hard to pursue it. Now I have a job that I'm very passionate about and it allows me to be in nature often. I'm never getting rich with this job but it allows me to be financially safe and that's all I need.
If only I knew I just needed to be patient and open to opportunities, I would have avoided so much useless anxiety and suffering. I never had a clear goal and yet I've found my place in the world.
That is so true and beautiful!
A tiny note for all Europeans here: check out the European Solidarity Corps - I spent a whole year working, partying, camping and being lost in Finland and I would almost be so bold to call it the best life decision I made so far!
Happy Birthday!!! 🎂
I absolutely loved the 'first pancake' analogy.
😂👍❤
This video came at a perfect time. Thank you! I'm 25 & feeling so lost. I love what you said about "being behind is better than being ahead on the wrong path". I've always felt behind in some way and even after leaving my "hometown" and high school/ university friends, seeing their lives on social media gives the same feeling you described. People are getting married, having businesses etc... I do feel reassured that things would workout somehow. Happy Birthday!!!
Happy birthday,Opa 🫣
a 23 year old here! for me, I had the feeling that everyone else my age (friends or former school "colleagues") where going abroad
as soon as there got the chance or the money for it. So I had this pressure feeling to must leave my lovely home town because "that's what you do that age"
At 18 I worked at a little circus and travelled my home country for two months, but now I am in the work life back home for several years, and I really enjoy it! I would really love to visit another country for study when my apprentice time comes, but It is also ok to stay in your town, if you love it!
I always get such a good feeling from people in Europe etc as it sounds so much like my path, I didn't get cozy in my career until late 30s and my second marriage at 36 has been amazing. In my part of the US everyone's quite settled mid 20s especially back then (early 00s), kids and owning homes. I was doing creative things and flailing in my 20s and do not regret that one bit!
I could not agree more with the content of this video. Here I am, having quit a high-paying job for a barista role, in London, as I focus on building my new life out. This gives me hope 🥲 Happy birthday Jenny! 🤍
I completely agree with leaving home in your 20’s. I moved from Spain to the Netherlands from 21 to 25 and were the most formative years of my life. No doubt!
Jenny has the power to always say what I need to hear! I’m 25 and last year I decided to change my career path completely, after two whole years of rethinking everything I've ever wanted to do in life. Now I'm studying at home, trying to go back to university again, so I can become a doctor. Here in Brazil, to do that I need to pass a super hard test. I've never felt so behind in my entire life! All my friends are growing in their careers, wining awards, marrying and buying apartments 😅 But this video was a good reminder that I don't need to be where they are. And I really don't want to! Thanks, Jenny! 💜
I’m going back to nursing school (doing prereqs right now) after having a baby at 25 and already getting my masters in something totally unrelated. It’s sooo hard to have delayed gratification and also to change later than our peers. But it’s so exciting!! I wouldn’t be a good medical provider when I was younger, I was immature, so it’s all for the best. Just wanted to say you’re NOT the only one! 😅❤️
@@iv4135 thank you! This journey is a little lonely, but it's always good to know that I'm not alone. In the end, I will get to live a life that makes sense for me (even if costs a little bit of time right now). Good luck on nursing school! I'm sure you will be an amazing professional, since you're so kind here 😄💜
I love this flailing 20s concept. LOVE IT. Being lost and bohemian is wonderful and I recommend every young person to do it! FAILURE is the best kind of remedy for everything because everything gets better after you fail. The most successful people failed over and over again.
I've just entered my 40s and I thought I had made it and was in a stable place in my life....then I realized that I wasn't and I was playing a role that isn't for me and everything can fall apart very quickly. Now I'm in the midst of change and it is scary as hell but I know that on the other side of this flailing and failing and changing direction, goodness will come and the universe will open up to to give me new opportunities, chances for connection and show a different path. Life isn't a fixed journey and acceptance is one of the greatest qualities we can have. Of course we also need to make those decisions to drive any change. Happy Birthday!
Thank u ! Your video make me feel so much better i just turn 30 and i feel so like a failure! But now u give me a new perspective and a relief for my heart ❤️ thank uuu
Reading this comment section has been so wholesome and inspiring! Thanks Jenny and you guys for sharing ❤
I would have love to take a gap year after high school sadly I think if your family is not supportive you can’t do it. I say that because I know my parents wouldn’t have let me do that, they also tried to make me change my degree in fashion to something more “safe” but for this one I held tight and I’m glad to say I’m an embroiderer and love it every day. I’m in my early thirties and sometimes I do feel behind but when I think about those friends who seems to have it all I won’t ever change my life for their. I have I stable job, I can provide for myself and go on holiday freely with friends or alone, I’m happy and great full for that 😊
Love your dress by the way 😍😍🤍
"comfortable precision of having it together"...another great book title! that, and "the claw hand" BELOVED
Mandatory gap year I love that ❤ if I could go back in time I would really do it ☺️
I MISS THE PODCAST!!! WITH BOTH OF YOU! PLEEEEEEEEASE!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Also my advice for 20somethings as I am nearly 30 is this: buy one of those rolling boards to help moving stuff! For all the moving houses, help friends moving houses and buying second hand furniture. It is a lifechanger. Even if your a minimalist, this is one of the most helpful things to own if you like to change your mind a lot 😅
I’ve read your book last month and I loved it, I gave it 5 stars on GoodReads. You have a way with words and reading the book was very pleasant. Also helped that I am fascinated with London, even if I dont live there but always like to visit. Greetings from Dublin 🙃
Just pre-ordered my copy from Blackwells. Looking forward to some summer reading. Happy early Birthday to you, Jenny!
Happy Birthday Jenny🥂🎂!!!
Thank you so much for your support! Just the right time ❤️
Just what I needed to hear today! Thank you.
Happy birthday, Jenny! 🎂🍾
Happy birthday 🎉 and thanks for this video, I’m almost 35 and I have been feeling lost 😢this video made me feel better
Now that I am 40, I would have a few things to tell my 20-year-old self, but for the most part, I think I did pretty well! I made some good choices in my life. I enjoyed what you wish you knew. Hopefully it will help people who are younger make good choices for their lives. I hope you have a very good birthday!
Thank you! It is my 30th birthday on may 1st and I appreciate all your words of wisdom. Happy birthday to you too!
Happy birthday Jenny 🎉❤
Happy birthday Jenny ❤
Happy birthday! Thanks for all the videos, Okay Days and looking forward for the new novel 😊
Thank you!! 😊
I love all your videos Jenny! You're the only person who I still follow on TH-cam and look forward to your posts. I'm on round no.2 of reading Okay Days... Happiest Birthday! 🎂
Thank you so much!!
Enjoyed this video! Hope you had a wonderful birthday 🎂 🌟✨
Thank you so much!!
Happy birthday, love! 🥳💕
Thank you 🎉
happy birthday Jenny 🥗🥬🍚🍱
I love the pancake example! That is SOOO true. Even my dad who is the pro pancake maker (it’s the only thing he can cook) rarely makes the first pancake of a batch amazing
Thanks Jenny Mustard, happy birthday! 🎉
Thanks😊
You are the perle of TH-cam Jenny
Love this video! Thank you!!❤❤❤
Thanks for watching :)
Thank you for this video! I’m turning 30 in a couple of months and I’m so lost. My friends are already settled down or settling down. They have jobs and their own flats and I’m here, jobless and lost. Me and my partner are in the same place you and David were at the beginning of your 30s. I’m chronically ill and it seems like life is abnormally harsh for me 😅 I hit a wall every time I try to do something. Rejection is my second name at this point and I don’t know how much more can I handle 😅 your video gave me hope, though! Maybe everything will be alright in the end.
Happy Birthday, dear Jenny! ❤
Thank you!
Happy birthday dear 😊
That was totally the video that I needed. I am 22, most of the people that I know who are younger than me have there life togehter it seems. And only a small amount of older people who are still trying to figure it out.
I come from a household where you cant quit things and everything, when you really want it, is possible. That put so much pressure on me that my mentall health really went down.
I hope that this is really just the time to fail and try new things and a time to be brave.
Happy birthday!!!
Thanks :)
Happy Birthday! ❤
Thanks!
Don't settle down in your 20s!!! (Unless you REALLY want to). 20s is the perfect time for you to explore who you are and what you like, it's the perfect time to try out new things, go to new places and get to know yourself. :)
I don't think I've ever got to a video when it was posted 15 seconds ago 😂 Looking forward to seeing the rest of the video!
(edit) Happy birthday in advance Jenny! Hope you have a wonderful day!
I learned that everything in life is random. It's like throwing spaghetti on a wall and see what sticks! I'm 70 and still traveling and learning.
Happy birthday 🫰
Happy birthday, honey ❤❤❤
Thank you 🙏🏻
Thank you 🙏🏻
Hey David and Jenny, do you know which bookstores in London stock Okay Days? I'd rather buy in-store than online.
Pre ordered. Xx
yaaaay, thank you!
Is this the first paper back release?? Because I received one when your book first came out
Yes, this is the first paperback release.
Internationally some countries have the book as a large paperback.
Happy 🎂
Thank you
WHAT ARE YOUR BIG THREE?! you're so wise
meanwhile Jenny Mustard loving her first pancake partner David.
❤
💖
Så ironiskt att jag fick en Skånemejeris reklam på en av dina videos
Amish people of some sects have mandatory gap years. It seems to assist a return to family/community values...
happy birthday Jenny ❤
Thank you!
❤