When someone treats you like an option, you should show them from that very moment that they no longer have that option. Do not settle for half ass people.
Great advice. It's statistically possible you can meet someone better after a breakup. But only if you give yourself enough time to heal, learn from your mistakes, work on yourself ( personality, body and mind) and become a better person. But if you jump into another relationship right after breakup or start going on a date with new people, you will probably downgrade.
This video gave me a smile and hope! Long story short, got dumped, one month in NC, she came back saying 'miss u' but she wanted me to be in her life as friend, I did not agree. She got upset saying things like 'you don't know what you want, you talk too much and get nothing solved blabla' and she deleted my phone number saying "if you want something just write me". I was like WTF and I was so sure about that being the real end . Today I was feeling doubtful about me not being communicative with her and that. And this video reminded me that she was looking for me to be her option, not her priority, and she got mad when I did not beg and I didn't asked her to stay in my life, because I want her as a romantic partner not a friend. (And for sure she knows it) Thank you Rory for this videos.
Reading throughout the comments it makes me so sad that so many people out there that is heart broken and are looking for answers to what happened to their relationship. I to looked for answers what went wrong what did I do wrong to not be appreciated or why was my devotion to one man be taken granted for but then I looked for my own answers I watched so many different coaches on TH-cam. And I’ve come to realise that I dated a narcissist and now I have all the answer that I need following all the advice that I could get to be a better version of myself so that maybe one day he will realise he lost something so precious but now I don’t even think he will because he doesn’t have heart to understand what true love is. To be fair I broke it off with him because there was just something inside me that said this doesn’t seem right. I was hurt I was devastated because I just broke up with a person that I devoted myself to. But now it hurts more knowing that our relationship wasn’t real it was just all an act to him but for me everything was real. I would rather be hurt from a person that I know that loved me once because that i can accept but be broken by a person who doesn’t know how to love is even worse because only my feelings were real. It’s been 1 month that I have broken up with him. And I know he has another supply so not one word from him at all. I’m staying strong and I hope everyone get through it. True love needs patient don’t settle for anyone just because you feel lonely. Because that’s what I did and now I’m broken. Trying to fix myself back up again.
Yes! Thank you so much Rory!! A few days ago I put my foot down with my ex and got ALL my power back. I'm not an option nor am I turning the other cheek to what's bad for me. Thank you for the reassurance and your beautiful timing!
Another great video, reminding us all that we are nobody's option and those who are struggling to believe that, the time will come when you do. Keep your heads up
Rory did you announce the winner of the free coaching contest? I appreciate this video it is a dandy and thanks for your advice on not letting my ex contact me weekly about bill related issues and it is true that we teach our partner how we wanted be treated base on our behavior stand up for yourself and if she doesn’t have any self respect or integrity don’t let those unwanted traits rub off on you we deserve better
Thank you. This is exactly what I need. I would like you to do videos about moving past the break up, healing while moving on, how to calm the anxiety... I decided to move on and I told him it was over because this is not good for me. I am moving on but somehow I still have some anxiety. I won't go back to him, but I can't help the thoughts about him or everything we went through. Of course I am focusing on other things and I'm trying to figure out what to do as a new thing. It's just not easy to meet new people. I think you could advise us about this topic, because I really want to heal. I want to be a priority and I want to heal in order to choose wisely next time... and I don't want to fall for the rebounds trap. Again, thank you! You and DG are the best!
It was my ex's birthday yesterday but I didn't tell her anything. She tried to reach out three weeks ago but I ignored her and she hasn't reached out again. She's most likely still with her rebound. She's probably been with him for like five months but I've been in NC for two months and just walked away because I didn't want to be an option for her and she did not respect me. I wish for her to reach out again but I'm not counting on it, I'm moving on, I was the best thing for her but she threw it all away for someone almost double my age. She'll regret letting me go, I'm fucking awesome that anyone else will be lucky to have. Any tips for asking out a a female coworker at a dining hall on campus? I'm a second year university student and me asking girls out at my job isn't really looked down upon, it's a very social job plus I get along with all my superiors.
Thanks for this!! You have wonderful words of wisdom, Rory. I tip my hat to you. 🎩 I feel this kind of video suits me in where I'm currently at in my journey. Been in no contact for over a year and so proud of it, but the self talk needs to still change. I beat myself up for a long, long time and still do on bad days about the mistakes I made, but you're right about why that is not helpful whatsoever. Thanks again!
I've been in no contact for about 3 weeks with my ex till she reached out. She wanted to get her stuff back and asked if we can meet up. Before she called me though, i found out from a common friend that she misses me, wanted to talk to me almost on a daily basis but is just holding back from doing so. She told our common friend that she wanted to come back but is afraid to be hurt again and another thing making the situation difficult is that she's seeing someone else, but she said she still wants me. Fast forward to when we met, I ended up asking her for another chance and pleaded now I know that this was not the right thing to do but I wasnt able to help myself and broke down. I was acting at her having the knowledge that i know what she told our friend but she was different that night and its as if she never even said all those things with our friend (thru SMS so i had proof she said all of those). She said that she still needs space and time for herself. Knowing that no contact has already been broken and knowing that she still wants me, will no contact work again the 2nd time around? pls help
You need to listen to this video at least 10 times this video was made for you literally she has you as an option do not contact her do not reach out to her only respond to her and take your time get your dignity back
You pleaded on the date... that's why she said she needed space AGAIN. She probably misses certain aspects of you, or was bored or a million other reasons she could've accepted the date. BUT - you blew it by pleading. Pleading with someone is NOT attractive or manly. We've all done it to some degree and like he said in the video, don't beat yourself up about it, just learn from it and NEVER do that again. In fact I'd say the only time pleading or begging for anything in life should ONLY ever be done if we're literally talking about your life! If someone has a gun to your head... then plead and beg for your life. But never plead or beg for anything else. Ever.
Hey Coach, love your videos and became a proud patreo.. nee? of your channel :) Can i ask if you can touch upon what to do if its his/her parents that pushed the break up?
Ha ha. I told him right on his face that I m not your option. That felt good coz after 8 years of being together he cheated with another girl n moved on with her, but still called me ever single day. No contact since then.
Rory, would it be possible for you to cover the topic of your ex's friends and how to go about that? I was friends with my ex's friends and I see them quite often in public. One of them I see the most is my ex's best friend/roommate (and his girlfriend). My ex moved a little less than a year ago with the girl he left me for back in May, but I've since then seen his friend many times and even the friend's girlfriend knew who I was even though I'd never met her officially. She saw me one day at work and introduced herself to me and I just felt awkward about the situation. I purposely had to cut ties with everyone when I went into no contact so my ex wouldn't get any word about me through anyone. I've felt bad for not saying hi or anything and I miss them to death, but I feel awkward for bringing up anything to them. My ex and I had a bad break up and I fell into a deep depression. Things are far better than where I was, but I feel like the constant paths crossing with my ex's friends means something and I have no idea how to handle it. I would say I was good friends with them. All of us would hang out at each other's apartments, get food together, enjoy drinks, shared interests, etc.
I could use some advice on my situation. In order to stand up for yourself, is it better to speak up or just stay indifferent? My case is... complicated to say the least. My ex has many issues, rough childhood, personality disorders, she is very insecure and easily manipulated. The later caused the break up becsuse "friends" and social media bs made her think I'm a bad person and she could do better. No we are in this kinda akward limbo state where she keeps reaching out every other week, but goes cold and distant imidiately when I answer and tries to start arguments about the stupiest shit. It's like she wants to make sure I'm still there but at the same time needs to convince herself she did and is still doing the right thing by trying to make me react the way she wants me to. Now I'm not sure if I should just stay indifferent and neutral, or sometimes speak up for myself. I feel like if I speek up it'd just give her what she is trying to archieve. Any thoughs?
Rory, can you do a video on whether or not you think guys who have cheated multiple times in the past would ever change? And what the pschology of it is behind that? PS I love listening to your videos before I sleep!
I appreciate these videos so much. I am a lesbian in college and my ex had to break up with me because of her homophobic father holding tuition over her head. Stuff like this keeps me sane ♥️ I don’t know if you’d have any specific advice for moving on in my situation but I’d really appreciate any solace.
Excellent video, Rory. I have two questions 1) would you consider doing a video on reuniting with your ex after a year when one of you is now one yr sober? I'm thinking of the new dynamics, etc. The breakup was in part due to alcoholism 2) what is your opinion on Susan Winters? I listen to you, Craig Kenneth, and Susan Winters.. Thank you.
I'm still curious about no contact when you are an adult...forties, fifties, etc. Is it still the best way to go about things? Are "older" people affected the same way as the twenty-somethings? We've been around the block a few times, and we've lived more life. I guess I'm skeptical, as it sure isn't working for myself and others I know. How about a video on that subject?
Hi Coach Can you make a video about TAKING A BREAK!!! My boyfriend told me he is TAKING A BREAK ,he sAid he wants time to think and feel how’s it will look like when I’m gone, he said i can text him , and he will response when his ready, I’m on 26 days of no contact since that he ask for break! I really don’t know what should i do , he still like my post on social media. But I’m currently far from him cause i left the country since November! Please help me Thank you
Can someone please help me? My ex and i were together for 2 years and we have been broken up for a month and some days. And i wokeup and checked my phone it said it was from 6hrs ago and i opened it and it said 10 chats deleted. I didn't respond bc she didnt say anything to me and im brushing it off. Did i do it wrong? Bc it is no contact and she didnt contact me.
hi my girlfriend(18) and i(17) of 8 months broke up a month a go its was my first girlfriend and i was her longest , we stil talk everyday but she is cold and gives one word answers and Every time where going out she says sorry i cant anymore i love this girl and i understand why we broke up i was to needy and clingy but i.m trying to be different wat can i do to get her back ?
Rory, you nailed this one! I'd even say this is one of the first videos anyone going through a breakup should watch. Thank you so much for your support. I'm so glad I found your channel! In this same topic, I have added the next video to my morning routine. Love yourself, you're the only one who will be with you no matter what as long as you're alive! th-cam.com/video/nt5_3cbo31I/w-d-xo.html It starts at 0:35. Just listen to it and love yourself! Thanks Rory!! PS: I hope you don't mind I attached this video. If you want me to get it down, just let me know.
The Love Chat okay thank you I’m just trying to figure out way I can better myself I’ve been going to the gym getting closer to god but I watched this religious video on identifying your soulmate in hopes it would help me find out that what I think about her being the one is just in my head but it didn’t it just made think about her being the one more and I feel that more than anything still and it’s been like three months since we broke up I want help to fix my problem for a better relationship but idk who I should trust on the internet your videos help calm my anxiety but I feel like the no contact is what I should do because I feel I made her feel in some cases I didn’t care about her and now I don’t know what to do to not be to much but to show her I care I want someone who can really help me
When someone treats you like an option, you should show them from that very moment that they no longer have that option. Do not settle for half ass people.
Great advice. It's statistically possible you can meet someone better after a breakup. But only if you give yourself enough time to heal, learn from your mistakes, work on yourself ( personality, body and mind) and become a better person. But if you jump into another relationship right after breakup or start going on a date with new people, you will probably downgrade.
I downgraded for 3 years straight, after each break up. Now I'm taking the "UP" option. Fuck that shit I'm done
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” -Mark Twain
This video gave me a smile and hope! Long story short, got dumped, one month in NC, she came back saying 'miss u' but she wanted me to be in her life as friend, I did not agree. She got upset saying things like 'you don't know what you want, you talk too much and get nothing solved blabla' and she deleted my phone number saying "if you want something just write me".
I was like WTF and I was so sure about that being the real end . Today I was feeling doubtful about me not being communicative with her and that. And this video reminded me that she was looking for me to be her option, not her priority, and she got mad when I did not beg and I didn't asked her to stay in my life, because I want her as a romantic partner not a friend. (And for sure she knows it)
Thank you Rory for this videos.
I’m meeting her in just a couple of hours as I’m listening to this. Such an important thing to keep in mind. Thanks a lot as always.
Reading throughout the comments it makes me so sad that so many people out there that is heart broken and are looking for answers to what happened to their relationship. I to looked for answers what went wrong what did I do wrong to not be appreciated or why was my devotion to one man be taken granted for but then I looked for my own answers I watched so many different coaches on TH-cam. And I’ve come to realise that I dated a narcissist and now I have all the answer that I need following all the advice that I could get to be a better version of myself so that maybe one day he will realise he lost something so precious but now I don’t even think he will because he doesn’t have heart to understand what true love is. To be fair I broke it off with him because there was just something inside me that said this doesn’t seem right. I was hurt I was devastated because I just broke up with a person that I devoted myself to. But now it hurts more knowing that our relationship wasn’t real it was just all an act to him but for me everything was real. I would rather be hurt from a person that I know that loved me once because that i can accept but be broken by a person who doesn’t know how to love is even worse because only my feelings were real. It’s been 1 month that I have broken up with him. And I know he has another supply so not one word from him at all. I’m staying strong and I hope everyone get through it. True love needs patient don’t settle for anyone just because you feel lonely. Because that’s what I did and now I’m broken. Trying to fix myself back up again.
I'm the C.E.O. of my life.
I'm nobody's option nor part time. I decide who will stay or who will be fired. ,)
Yes that's me not want to be around people.
The more you deal with people the more you want not disengage
I listen to one of these daily.
Yes! Thank you so much Rory!! A few days ago I put my foot down with my ex and got ALL my power back. I'm not an option nor am I turning the other cheek to what's bad for me. Thank you for the reassurance and your beautiful timing!
Another great video, reminding us all that we are nobody's option and those who are struggling to believe that, the time will come when you do. Keep your heads up
When it's love... U don't need to watch talks of people it will be calming n soothing to soul... BTW option is ever questioning.. Thanks love chat
Rory, can you do a video on more indepth reasons or analysis on why respect, love, and attraction go hand and hand?
You bet!
Rory did you announce the winner of the free coaching contest? I appreciate this video it is a dandy and thanks for your advice on not letting my ex contact me weekly about bill related issues and it is true that we teach our partner how we wanted be treated base on our behavior stand up for yourself and if she doesn’t have any self respect or integrity don’t let those unwanted traits rub off on you we deserve better
Yep announcing them monday!
The Love Chat thanks Rory
Dude you are just wonderful, thank you. I am not an option I am a priority. Lesson learned. X
I needed to hear this today. I love your videos keep doing what you do best!
Thank you. This is exactly what I need. I would like you to do videos about moving past the break up, healing while moving on, how to calm the anxiety... I decided to move on and I told him it was over because this is not good for me. I am moving on but somehow I still have some anxiety. I won't go back to him, but I can't help the thoughts about him or everything we went through. Of course I am focusing on other things and I'm trying to figure out what to do as a new thing. It's just not easy to meet new people. I think you could advise us about this topic, because I really want to heal. I want to be a priority and I want to heal in order to choose wisely next time... and I don't want to fall for the rebounds trap. Again, thank you! You and DG are the best!
Can you do a video on If an ex keeps reaching out and then disappears because it’s a massive head fuck 👌
You bet!
It took me 6 months to finally man up and stand up for what I wanted and walk away. How damning are those 6 months I stuck myself in the friend zone?
Best video yet !
Thank you for the pep talk, Rory! I miss your Love Chats.
Don't worry! They're coming back
U helped me growing, thank you... Please make video on your breakup if possible, please...
It was my ex's birthday yesterday but I didn't tell her anything. She tried to reach out three weeks ago but I ignored her and she hasn't reached out again. She's most likely still with her rebound. She's probably been with him for like five months but I've been in NC for two months and just walked away because I didn't want to be an option for her and she did not respect me. I wish for her to reach out again but I'm not counting on it, I'm moving on, I was the best thing for her but she threw it all away for someone almost double my age. She'll regret letting me go, I'm fucking awesome that anyone else will be lucky to have. Any tips for asking out a a female coworker at a dining hall on campus? I'm a second year university student and me asking girls out at my job isn't really looked down upon, it's a very social job plus I get along with all my superiors.
High quality video♥️
Thank you so much Rory. Another great videos, you really inspired me and raised my dignity.
Great one coach!!! Lol this is Raheem! Pleasure speaking to you during our session Coach. Looking forward to the next one!
Hi Raheem!
Thanks for this!! You have wonderful words of wisdom, Rory. I tip my hat to you. 🎩 I feel this kind of video suits me in where I'm currently at in my journey. Been in no contact for over a year and so proud of it, but the self talk needs to still change. I beat myself up for a long, long time and still do on bad days about the mistakes I made, but you're right about why that is not helpful whatsoever. Thanks again!
I love your videos. You helps us heal. Thank u for the videos u do for us.
I've been in no contact for about 3 weeks with my ex till she reached out. She wanted to get her stuff back and asked if we can meet up. Before she called me though, i found out from a common friend that she misses me, wanted to talk to me almost on a daily basis but is just holding back from doing so. She told our common friend that she wanted to come back but is afraid to be hurt again and another thing making the situation difficult is that she's seeing someone else, but she said she still wants me.
Fast forward to when we met, I ended up asking her for another chance and pleaded now I know that this was not the right thing to do but I wasnt able to help myself and broke down. I was acting at her having the knowledge that i know what she told our friend but she was different that night and its as if she never even said all those things with our friend (thru SMS so i had proof she said all of those). She said that she still needs space and time for herself.
Knowing that no contact has already been broken and knowing that she still wants me, will no contact work again the 2nd time around? pls help
You need to listen to this video at least 10 times this video was made for you literally she has you as an option do not contact her do not reach out to her only respond to her and take your time get your dignity back
You pleaded on the date... that's why she said she needed space AGAIN. She probably misses certain aspects of you, or was bored or a million other reasons she could've accepted the date. BUT - you blew it by pleading. Pleading with someone is NOT attractive or manly. We've all done it to some degree and like he said in the video, don't beat yourself up about it, just learn from it and NEVER do that again. In fact I'd say the only time pleading or begging for anything in life should ONLY ever be done if we're literally talking about your life! If someone has a gun to your head... then plead and beg for your life. But never plead or beg for anything else. Ever.
Love this video. Thank you. 💕💕
Hit gym y'all🌶🌶🌶
Rory, please upload something about Long Distance Relationship. Thank you!
I've done a long-distance video before, have you seen it?
@@TheLoveChat not yet Rory. Which video number is that? if you can still recall.
because I would really love to hear it.
@@erstermontag908 I believe it is this one th-cam.com/video/-diE7lGetTg/w-d-xo.html
Thank you for this video, I needed this today so much 😪
Yep. I am the price and I am amazing! Thanks Rory!
I’m sorry but I just imagine Brian from family guy speaking.. awesome content though.
I've heard that comment before - I take it as a compliment!
Hey Coach, love your videos and became a proud patreo.. nee? of your channel :) Can i ask if you can touch upon what to do if its his/her parents that pushed the break up?
Sure!
How do I act if I don’t want to be an option and my ex comes back
Ha ha. I told him right on his face that I m not your option. That felt good coz after 8 years of being together he cheated with another girl n moved on with her, but still called me ever single day. No contact since then.
Rory, would it be possible for you to cover the topic of your ex's friends and how to go about that? I was friends with my ex's friends and I see them quite often in public. One of them I see the most is my ex's best friend/roommate (and his girlfriend). My ex moved a little less than a year ago with the girl he left me for back in May, but I've since then seen his friend many times and even the friend's girlfriend knew who I was even though I'd never met her officially. She saw me one day at work and introduced herself to me and I just felt awkward about the situation. I purposely had to cut ties with everyone when I went into no contact so my ex wouldn't get any word about me through anyone. I've felt bad for not saying hi or anything and I miss them to death, but I feel awkward for bringing up anything to them. My ex and I had a bad break up and I fell into a deep depression. Things are far better than where I was, but I feel like the constant paths crossing with my ex's friends means something and I have no idea how to handle it. I would say I was good friends with them. All of us would hang out at each other's apartments, get food together, enjoy drinks, shared interests, etc.
I could use some advice on my situation. In order to stand up for yourself, is it better to speak up or just stay indifferent?
My case is... complicated to say the least. My ex has many issues, rough childhood, personality disorders, she is very insecure and easily manipulated. The later caused the break up becsuse "friends" and social media bs made her think I'm a bad person and she could do better. No we are in this kinda akward limbo state where she keeps reaching out every other week, but goes cold and distant imidiately when I answer and tries to start arguments about the stupiest shit. It's like she wants to make sure I'm still there but at the same time needs to convince herself she did and is still doing the right thing by trying to make me react the way she wants me to. Now I'm not sure if I should just stay indifferent and neutral, or sometimes speak up for myself. I feel like if I speek up it'd just give her what she is trying to archieve. Any thoughs?
Rory, can you do a video on whether or not you think guys who have cheated multiple times in the past would ever change? And what the pschology of it is behind that?
PS I love listening to your videos before I sleep!
Sure!
I appreciate these videos so much. I am a lesbian in college and my ex had to break up with me because of her homophobic father holding tuition over her head. Stuff like this keeps me sane ♥️ I don’t know if you’d have any specific advice for moving on in my situation but I’d really appreciate any solace.
Excellent video, Rory. I have two questions 1) would you consider doing a video on reuniting with your ex after a year when one of you is now one yr sober? I'm thinking of the new dynamics, etc. The breakup was in part due to alcoholism 2) what is your opinion on Susan Winters? I listen to you, Craig Kenneth, and Susan Winters.. Thank you.
Hi there! Sure I can look into that video topic. I like Craig & Susan!
I'm still curious about no contact when you are an adult...forties, fifties, etc. Is it still the best way to go about things? Are "older" people affected the same way as the twenty-somethings? We've been around the block a few times, and we've lived more life. I guess I'm skeptical, as it sure isn't working for myself and others I know. How about a video on that subject?
Typically its effectiveness remains the same. I'll look into covering this!
@@TheLoveChat thank you sir.
Considering my now not so recent circumstances involving my ex, that thumbnail had me dying.
Hi Coach
Can you make a video about TAKING A BREAK!!!
My boyfriend told me he is TAKING A BREAK ,he sAid he wants time to think and feel how’s it will look like when I’m gone, he said i can text him , and he will response when his ready, I’m on 26 days of no contact since that he ask for break! I really don’t know what should i do , he still like my post on social media. But I’m currently far from him cause i left the country since November! Please help me
Thank you
Hey Rory, could you make a video on what to do if you work with your ex and you want to continue no contact even when they want to talk to you?
Can someone please help me? My ex and i were together for 2 years and we have been broken up for a month and some days. And i wokeup and checked my phone it said it was from 6hrs ago and i opened it and it said 10 chats deleted. I didn't respond bc she didnt say anything to me and im brushing it off. Did i do it wrong? Bc it is no contact and she didnt contact me.
hi
my girlfriend(18) and i(17) of 8 months broke up a month a go its was my first girlfriend and i was her longest , we stil talk everyday but she is cold and gives one word answers and Every time where going out she says sorry i cant anymore i love this girl and i understand why we broke up i was to needy and clingy but i.m trying to be different wat can i do to get her back ?
if they treat you like an option the relationship is dead it’s over finito done....
Rory, you nailed this one! I'd even say this is one of the first videos anyone going through a breakup should watch. Thank you so much for your support. I'm so glad I found your channel!
In this same topic, I have added the next video to my morning routine. Love yourself, you're the only one who will be with you no matter what as long as you're alive!
th-cam.com/video/nt5_3cbo31I/w-d-xo.html
It starts at 0:35. Just listen to it and love yourself!
Thanks Rory!!
PS: I hope you don't mind I attached this video. If you want me to get it down, just let me know.
What is your on opinion on Clay Andrew
Garbage content. I would avoid. He has no clue what he is talking about and no credentials.
The Love Chat okay thank you I’m just trying to figure out way I can better myself I’ve been going to the gym getting closer to god but I watched this religious video on identifying your soulmate in hopes it would help me find out that what I think about her being the one is just in my head but it didn’t it just made think about her being the one more and I feel that more than anything still and it’s been like three months since we broke up I want help to fix my problem for a better relationship but idk who I should trust on the internet your videos help calm my anxiety but I feel like the no contact is what I should do because I feel I made her feel in some cases I didn’t care about her and now I don’t know what to do to not be to much but to show her I care I want someone who can really help me
The title is a hook
♡♡♡
Thank you, I really need this whenever i feel weak.