Very few understand or even believe that NPD exists until they have lived with it. It's like telling someone you lived with a vampire, but they see her walking around in daylight appearing like everyone else, and no bite marks on your neck...but once they have to go up against her, or disagree with her about anything...they learn how ruthless and cold she can is, beyond anything they could have imagined.
Other than going into therapy, you can read up a lot about narcissism and what you may be trying to avoid in yourself. Another of my videos here on TH-cam -- about Shame and the Idealized False Self -- talks about the issue. On my website, I write extensively about the subject as well. Go to my website and click on the "shame/narcissism" category link over to the right.
You say that Zucherberg has an arrogance about him and believes himself more intelligent than everyone else. That's because he is. My understanding of narcissism is that it is an inflated opinion of one's grandeur and abilities, but his is just accurate.
I have had a similar experience with my coworker. I also completely cut her out from my life after I found out how she really is, after I gave her an advise(for her it was criticism or slander, and she flipped out). she was later fired for acting arrogant and confronting our boss that he isn't a good leader since he doesn't see how great and better she is than everyone else.
both my parents are like this so was my dad's alcoholic mother. they have no responsibility whatsoever and don't care about anything about themselves. both my parents are 65 and 66 yet they wonder why nobody wants to be around them
NPD. even worse than alcoholism. very hard to feel empathy for the narcissist when they flail and fail in their delusional ways as they get older. sad.
Very astute analysis- used this video in my Abnormal Psych class at LSU to illustrate the diagnosis and issues with DMS-x classification system. Thanks, Joe.
I couldn't agree more. I use the DSM-IV only because it's a convenient way to talk about some issues that I find important, but I feel that the entire issue of psychological diagnosis is "absolute nonsense," too -- as you put it. I've written about this issue extensively on my website, in particular in the following post that ends in /diagnosis. Go to my website and check it out. I think you'll agree.
I honestly thought the character who plays Zuckerberg was characterised by a mild form of Aspergers. The brilliant computer mind, high analytical intelligence, obsessive traits coupled with awkward social mannerisms and a lack of empathy, is a dead giveaway of Aspergers (very similar to The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo). However, I think Joseph Burgo might be right. If there is such a thing, the character in the movie shows signs of both narcissism and Aspergers.
Thank you. This excellent video helped me understand the inexplicable behavior of my ex. Definitely suffering from NPS. I wish I had this knowledge then.
Thank you for a very clear and understandable video. I recently had an encounter with a deeply narcissistic person from my past, whom I've purposely removed from my life, and this video is a great clarifier as to why my opinions of him are correct and that continuation of my boundaries is essential. Unlike the Zuckerberg movie character, the narcissists I've experienced are supremely charming, making their profound toxicity hard to spot in the beginning - and even for an appreciable time.
Is it true that the DSM-IV was also created for insurance purposes? A label is needed to process and cover a patient (diagnosis) and pay the therapist/doctor? I have followed MZ and Facebook and I'm willing to bet that he's a narcissist in real life. He's more like a computer than person. And Facebook is and will be used by Big Brother. MZ knows this and is moving full speed ahead. I have researched this a bit and Facebook has concerned critics and I feel that the concern is extremely valid.
If you look at the other comments and my replies, you'll see that I don't believe in the existence of separate diagnostic categories or the disease model of psychological disorders.. Asperger's and NPD are ways of describing features that many people with similar issues have in common and they exist along a spectrum of possibilities.
People who don't like the old DSM diagnostic criteria tend to have a superficial grasp of psychology. Narcissism is not simply a collection of symptomatic behaviors. Those symptomatic behaviors grow out of maladaptive core attitudes and delusions.
It isn't really sexy if you tell people that you suffer from NPD. So, i see the diagnose as a possible narcissistic injury in itself. I tended also to search similarities in other mental illnesses; asperger and BPD are just two of them. but if you really want to work on your narcissistic issues and go forward, you have to accept the diagnosis. i thought many times that i did this a long time ago - but i'm still struggeling from time to time.
Diagnosis is definitely stigmatized and could be counter-beneficial to what you are trying to attain as a clinician, but I believe it brings a much needed focus. I would just like to note that one particular symptom I saw based on fundamental perspective of npd is his quick judgement of his gf having slept with the doorman without any proof. Judgement is often due to protection of ego. I believe that stems from being a vulnerable subtype of narcissistic personality disorder.
@mystery8881 You might want to check out the comment thread on the following post, where I've been discussing how I view the differences and similarities: It's the post on my website,After Psychotherapy, that ends in /citizen-kane
I haven't seen that Zuckerberg movie so I really can't get a good impression of the context by watching the short clips, but it seems to me that he's just holding his own pretty well in what he considers a hostile environment.As for his girlfriend, he appeared at though he put his foot in his mouth a few times and simply wanted to pacify her out of desperation. I don't know if I would call that being a narcissist or not.I don't like narcissistic traits but these video examples weren't that good.
and people manipulate other people ALL THE TIME; if you've ever had a job you will know this. technically speaking all forms of human interaction involve manipulation...
Bahaha.... man, you just described 90% of people on welfare. Seriously, I have seen these traits in myself at times, although I am working on overcoming them with God's help. I have another problem at hand right now in an employee.... I have not experienced such arrogance, and the rest of the stuff you describe in this video, in one single person ever before, that I can recollect. Thanks for the information.
I am confused. Zuckerberg is like one of the most successful people on the planet. His "disorder" seems to work well for him, so how to define "disorder". Yeah he's arrogant, but so what? He's smart and has valid points. Who likes lawyers anyway? And people give "insincere" apologies all the time to their partners. Not everyone is super calm like the dude who made this video.
Very few understand or even believe that NPD exists until they have lived with it. It's like telling someone you lived with a vampire, but they see her walking around in daylight appearing like everyone else, and no bite marks on your neck...but once they have to go up against her, or disagree with her about anything...they learn how ruthless and cold she can is, beyond anything they could have imagined.
My son has autism. He does not do none of that. You are exactly right. My son is quiet and very humble.
You could do a whole series of videos based on psychological issues in movies!
Only if the person is motivated to change, and this people are so heavily defended that they rarely seek help.
Other than going into therapy, you can read up a lot about narcissism and what you may be trying to avoid in yourself. Another of my videos here on TH-cam -- about Shame and the Idealized False Self -- talks about the issue. On my website, I write extensively about the subject as well. Go to my website and click on the "shame/narcissism" category link over to the right.
Excellent video and information. Straight to the point.
You say that Zucherberg has an arrogance about him and believes himself more intelligent than everyone else. That's because he is. My understanding of narcissism is that it is an inflated opinion of one's grandeur and abilities, but his is just accurate.
I have had a similar experience with my coworker. I also completely cut her out from my life after I found out how she really is, after I gave her an advise(for her it was criticism or slander, and she flipped out). she was later fired for acting arrogant and confronting our boss that he isn't a good leader since he doesn't see how great and better she is than everyone else.
both my parents are like this so was my dad's alcoholic mother. they have no responsibility whatsoever and don't care about anything about themselves. both my parents are 65 and 66 yet they wonder why nobody wants to be around them
NPD. even worse than alcoholism. very hard to feel empathy for the narcissist when they flail and fail in their delusional ways as they get older. sad.
Very astute analysis- used this video in my Abnormal Psych class at LSU to illustrate the diagnosis and issues with DMS-x classification system. Thanks, Joe.
I couldn't agree more. I use the DSM-IV only because it's a convenient way to talk about some issues that I find important, but I feel that the entire issue of psychological diagnosis is "absolute nonsense," too -- as you put it. I've written about this issue extensively on my website, in particular in the following post that ends in /diagnosis. Go to my website and check it out. I think you'll agree.
I honestly thought the character who plays Zuckerberg was characterised by a mild form of Aspergers. The brilliant computer mind, high analytical intelligence, obsessive traits coupled with awkward social mannerisms and a lack of empathy, is a dead giveaway of Aspergers (very similar to The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo). However, I think Joseph Burgo might be right. If there is such a thing, the character in the movie shows signs of both narcissism and Aspergers.
Probably one of the best and most annoying things you can do to them is for the most part, act like you don't care about them or their achievements.
Thank you. This excellent video helped me understand the inexplicable behavior of my ex. Definitely suffering from NPS. I wish I had this knowledge then.
Absolutely, though the serial murder thing complicates the picture!
Thank you for a very clear and understandable video.
I recently had an encounter with a deeply narcissistic person from my past, whom I've purposely removed from my life, and this video is a great clarifier as to why my opinions of him are correct and that continuation of my boundaries is essential.
Unlike the Zuckerberg movie character, the narcissists I've experienced are supremely charming, making their profound toxicity hard to spot in the beginning - and even for an appreciable time.
Sounds like most business owners to me
Is it true that the DSM-IV was also created for insurance purposes? A label is needed to process and cover a patient (diagnosis) and pay the therapist/doctor? I have followed MZ and Facebook and I'm willing to bet that he's a narcissist in real life. He's more like a computer than person. And Facebook is and will be used by Big Brother. MZ knows this and is moving full speed ahead. I have researched this a bit and Facebook has concerned critics and I feel that the concern is extremely valid.
If you look at the other comments and my replies, you'll see that I don't believe in the existence of separate diagnostic categories or the disease model of psychological disorders.. Asperger's and NPD are ways of describing features that many people with similar issues have in common and they exist along a spectrum of possibilities.
People who don't like the old DSM diagnostic criteria tend to have a superficial grasp of psychology. Narcissism is not simply a collection of symptomatic behaviors. Those symptomatic behaviors grow out of maladaptive core attitudes and delusions.
my ex is all those things and soo much more-but he'll get his one day
It isn't really sexy if you tell people that you suffer from NPD. So, i see the diagnose as a possible narcissistic injury in itself. I tended also to search similarities in other mental illnesses; asperger and BPD are just two of them. but if you really want to work on your narcissistic issues and go forward, you have to accept the diagnosis. i thought many times that i did this a long time ago - but i'm still struggeling from time to time.
well said... !!
Diagnosis is definitely stigmatized and could be counter-beneficial to what you are trying to attain as a clinician, but I believe it brings a much needed focus.
I would just like to note that one particular symptom I saw based on fundamental perspective of npd is his quick judgement of his gf having slept with the doorman without any proof. Judgement is often due to protection of ego. I believe that stems from being a vulnerable subtype of narcissistic personality disorder.
@mystery8881 You might want to check out the comment thread on the following post, where I've been discussing how I view the differences and similarities:
It's the post on my website,After Psychotherapy, that ends in /citizen-kane
When I am watching the clips from the movie, I feel like watching Tom Cruise.
Is there a cure for this?
well, i often feel like i'm surrounded by morons and i don't care if i "hurt their feelings" if i don't do things their way...
I haven't seen that Zuckerberg movie so I really can't get a good impression of the context by watching the short clips, but it seems to me that he's just holding his own pretty well in what he considers a hostile environment.As for his girlfriend, he appeared at though he put his foot in his mouth a few times and simply wanted to pacify her out of desperation. I don't know if I would call that being a narcissist or not.I don't like narcissistic traits but these video examples weren't that good.
this could be done with mosts protagonists
and people manipulate other people ALL THE TIME; if you've ever had a job you will know this. technically speaking all forms of human interaction involve manipulation...
i concur!
Is this for real??
I have no problem with Zuckerberg. In that scene-he is not going to let anyone get over on him
Bahaha.... man, you just described 90% of people on welfare. Seriously, I have seen these traits in myself at times, although I am working on overcoming them with God's help.
I have another problem at hand right now in an employee.... I have not experienced such arrogance, and the rest of the stuff you describe in this video, in one single person ever before, that I can recollect. Thanks for the information.
Narcissists with money =success
I might be a narcisist hell yeah.
I am confused. Zuckerberg is like one of the most successful people on the planet. His "disorder" seems to work well for him, so how to define "disorder". Yeah he's arrogant, but so what? He's smart and has valid points. Who likes lawyers anyway? And people give "insincere" apologies all the time to their partners. Not everyone is super calm like the dude who made this video.