Thanks Thomas for videos they are very informative and supportive I was wondering if you could create a video regarding the use of medication to treat SAD along with counselling and without counselling - the benefits and drawbacks of each option - Thx
Great tips - Making social anxiety map which is manifold entity so that we can know our way in the labyrinth, education (although this is double sword due to self absorption paradox which leads to distress), doubting our beliefs so that we can start to think (Descartes), shift focus onto our task that otherwise we would forget with rumination and trying to solve the unsolvable issues, accept imperfectionism, removing toxic habits which we use as safety mechanism and expressing our opinion and taking actions what we want and need in life. I learned that social anxiety is stemming from toxic people. It is not our invention, it is not our symptoms that are problem, symptoms appear as the only problem since they are extremally uncomfortable. So instead of looking for the reason why we feel panic and anxiety - we are trying to fix ourselves and inadvertently we are signaling our brain that we are inept, weird, abnormal, bizarre, unacceptable and invalidated - whereas other people apparently have no social fears - so therefore other people must be superior and better and competent. This leads to toxic shame issues and external reference locus of control which ends up with codependency issues and being stuck with toxic people. And if we rationalize our panic reactions as something to analyze and solve - we will miss the big picture - that our panic signals toxic people around us, the actual problem are psychopaths around us, not our symptoms. With focus on our symptoms we will not be able to stick our head out of the sand and see reality, we will self blame and feel dirty and invalidated for having panic symptoms in social situations. This will leave us with hypervigilance and constant threat and we will believe we are the cause of this constant emotional dysregualtion. What I learned is that toxic people are true cause of social anxiety and our inability to recognize this facts cause us to feel moral injury: witnessing the evil and doing nothing about it since we are explained that we are the sole problem, never other people. In reality, toxic people are narcissists and Machiavellians. They cover up their abuse and they appear empathetic and altruistic, and they sprinkle their hidden agenda with honeymoon phases so this is the same mechanisms that parasites use to penetrate their target and suck energy from it. Toxic people will nitpick, criticize and blame our natural mistakes, inner or external flaws and they will mock our lack of knowledge. They will perceive our mistakes as our aggression upon them. They will extort our natural and healthy urge to help others and to be kind to others and to never cause harm to others. They will simply state that we caused them harm, they will criticize our normal and natural mistakes as aggression upon their entitlement and present it as the proof we are unworthy, unacceptable and weird, abnormal. This way they will signal our inner critic to enforce toxic shame already present inside us. And we will interpret this abuse as our own panic symptom where we are abnormal and we must be confident, chirpy, happy and nice all the time. We will cut off our wings and cut off our natural reaction - that we state the objective reality, being transparent without drama and explosion. Instead we will shut up and self censor ourselves because we will believe that our discomfort is pathology and illness. In the end we will become people pleasers, pushover and we will fawn to society - as solution to our panic symptoms - which in reality are caused by untreated mentally ill people - psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists. Social anxiety is signal, it is not illness, if we believe we are the problem if we experience social anxiety - we will pathologize ourselves - and we will lead the life of hypervigilance, fears, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation. With self love, self acceptance and self validation - we will validate our panic, fears and discomfort and we will confront toxic people to see how they react when they are being criticized - without explosions or drama. With social anxiety we will believe that our embarrassment and shame is our fault and that we imagine the threat. With self love we can rely on our instinct and experiment and test and voice out our opinion and express ourselves - and in this way we will expose the virus, toxic people - and consequently cut the out of our life.
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Thankyou for sharing this information. I found it very useful.
I notice that I do a lot of exposure but still do my protective habits. Which explains why my SA never got better???
How are you doing now ?
Great video
Your work is highly appreciated 🙏👍🏽😘
Thank you so much
Could you also create a video on the different types of therapies for SAD with benefits and drawbacks - Thx
Thomas thank you do you do online sessions?
Thanks Thomas for videos they are very informative and supportive
I was wondering if you could create a video regarding the use of medication to treat SAD along with counselling and without counselling - the benefits and drawbacks of each option - Thx
Great tips - Making social anxiety map which is manifold entity so that we can know our way in the labyrinth, education (although this is double sword due to self absorption paradox which leads to distress), doubting our beliefs so that we can start to think (Descartes), shift focus onto our task that otherwise we would forget with rumination and trying to solve the unsolvable issues, accept imperfectionism, removing toxic habits which we use as safety mechanism and expressing our opinion and taking actions what we want and need in life.
I learned that social anxiety is stemming from toxic people. It is not our invention, it is not our symptoms that are problem, symptoms appear as the only problem since they are extremally uncomfortable.
So instead of looking for the reason why we feel panic and anxiety - we are trying to fix ourselves and inadvertently we are signaling our brain that we are inept, weird, abnormal, bizarre, unacceptable and invalidated - whereas other people apparently have no social fears - so therefore other people must be superior and better and competent. This leads to toxic shame issues and external reference locus of control which ends up with codependency issues and being stuck with toxic people.
And if we rationalize our panic reactions as something to analyze and solve - we will miss the big picture - that our panic signals toxic people around us, the actual problem are psychopaths around us, not our symptoms.
With focus on our symptoms we will not be able to stick our head out of the sand and see reality, we will self blame and feel dirty and invalidated for having panic symptoms in social situations. This will leave us with hypervigilance and constant threat and we will believe we are the cause of this constant emotional dysregualtion.
What I learned is that toxic people are true cause of social anxiety and our inability to recognize this facts cause us to feel moral injury: witnessing the evil and doing nothing about it since we are explained that we are the sole problem, never other people.
In reality, toxic people are narcissists and Machiavellians. They cover up their abuse and they appear empathetic and altruistic, and they sprinkle their hidden agenda with honeymoon phases so this is the same mechanisms that parasites use to penetrate their target and suck energy from it.
Toxic people will nitpick, criticize and blame our natural mistakes, inner or external flaws and they will mock our lack of knowledge. They will perceive our mistakes as our aggression upon them. They will extort our natural and healthy urge to help others and to be kind to others and to never cause harm to others. They will simply state that we caused them harm, they will criticize our normal and natural mistakes as aggression upon their entitlement and present it as the proof we are unworthy, unacceptable and weird, abnormal. This way they will signal our inner critic to enforce toxic shame already present inside us. And we will interpret this abuse as our own panic symptom where we are abnormal and we must be confident, chirpy, happy and nice all the time. We will cut off our wings and cut off our natural reaction - that we state the objective reality, being transparent without drama and explosion. Instead we will shut up and self censor ourselves because we will believe that our discomfort is pathology and illness.
In the end we will become people pleasers, pushover and we will fawn to society - as solution to our panic symptoms - which in reality are caused by untreated mentally ill people - psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists.
Social anxiety is signal, it is not illness, if we believe we are the problem if we experience social anxiety - we will pathologize ourselves - and we will lead the life of hypervigilance, fears, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation.
With self love, self acceptance and self validation - we will validate our panic, fears and discomfort and we will confront toxic people to see how they react when they are being criticized - without explosions or drama. With social anxiety we will believe that our embarrassment and shame is our fault and that we imagine the threat. With self love we can rely on our instinct and experiment and test and voice out our opinion and express ourselves - and in this way we will expose the virus, toxic people - and consequently cut the out of our life.
I was walking through a store in the mall this weekend full of wealthy people, and I felt like a lion was chasing me the whole time.