That verse has brought me alot of comfort. Another favorite of mine is from Isaiah 42:16...I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, Along unfamiliar paths I will guide them, I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do. I will not forsake them🙏
Indeed. Therapist and friends lose interest after you told them once. But every time you have a lightbulb moment you want to reflect, people think: “oh there she goes again about that guy”. So I try not to discuss this with them. It is a lonely path, but grateful for this channel and the community 🥰
To those that have been through it ..no explanation is necessary. To those that haven't...no explanation is possible. You will be very fortunate to find someone to talk your truth too who actually truly understands.
I think the best way to explain to people about what we have gone through is, “I won’t waste our time, as you wouldn’t understand”. Best option is listening to channels like this and do the healing yourself. You learn and know the truth and that’s all that matters.
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone For me, with understanding and regaining my boundaries, I no longer care about her or our relationship - all in the past - and I don’t want to appear whiny or waste peoples time, and mine, explaining why we are no longer together. You know the reasons why Andrew and so does everyone else on here. I don’t need to tell anyone else. 🙏
Yep we can vent all we want even if no one reads our comments or don’t finish them we can be ourselves without having to tell others I know you tied of hearing it yep it’s repetitive however this is the most I’ve expressed it the most I’ve reflected and wrote down stuff and it’s like the more she say the more I remember oh yeah and that too..
I agree!! Watching this channel is definitely helping. I'm grateful to have a therapist well aware of the narcissistic abuse cycle. But may need to limit my sharing with family and friends
Agreed. It's impossible to explain it to others because others are seeing a totally different side of the narcissist. They don't see who the narcissist is behind closed doors.
Newlife22 Same here the deaths in my family -----I knew they were in peace with God. This discard was the worst feeling I have had in my life. He discarded me like a piece of trash.
I said the same exact thing, my parents passing was traumatic, but this surpassed that, I have never been betrayed in so many ways, on every level imaginable from a person who I thought loved me.
No one will ever know the hell we endured. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.. but that's the difference between us and them. We wouldn't think of doing what they did.
If you saw your ex narc in public with their new victim. Knowing the horror we went thru and never wishing this on anyone. Would you say something to their new source or just maintain no contact?
@@stephenkane7499 I would say something. I would make a point of going up to him/her and saying loudly “ Shame…I feel so sorry for you. “…because I do. Actually saying this to support groups/other people that you really pity the new victim, is the only thing I have found that starts to make others think about/reconsider what you have said to them all the more seriously …
Thank you! You're the first to ever answer this. I hear people say they wouldn't wish this on their worst enemy. Then if that's the case, you see their new source, you should say something. I'm torn, I'm 50/50 still, but it's taken me so long to recover, she needs a rude awakening!
@@stephenkane7499 I actually wouldn't say anything to them. No good will come out of it for you. Initially it will make you feel better but they will turn it on you and make you look like the crazy jealous jaded stalker. They have probably already prewarmed the new supply that this day would be coming. I wouldn't even give them the satisfaction. In my opinion you shoul just walk away with your head held high and know you are safe and away from them and say a prayer that the new supply will find a way to find enough self love and worth to get out on their own one day. Sadly a new one will be right there to replace them if they do. Keep all of your energy for yourself. Always remember any supply you give to them negative or positive is supply and they feed off of it. Don't let them take anymore from you. Continue you forward and live the happy life you deserve. Don't forget the past but live in the present each day. 💪☀️
You are spot on. There is no one I could explain this to that would understand. I learned slowly over the last 3 years. I can't believe I allowed myself to be sucked in. These narcissists are so popular. Everyone loves them. If I ever said anything, people would think I was the crazy one. I'm sure they are smearing me since I finally have had the courage to stay away (90%) right now. I do not want to character assassinate them to anyone either... I doubt myself yet deep down I know the truth. It sure is lonely on the other side though.
Teri Gee your spot on my situation as well, my narc abandoned us for 3 yrs, well really thruout the marriage, no one sees his crazy as he’s kept me isolated to raise our son alone, he uses his job as an excuse to stay gone, but thank god, it’s Christmas and he’s called a cpl times of course he leaves no messages always a game
@@doreenr.7922 Always a game stay strong and keep your boundaries super high. They love to use the kids as their way to weasel there way back in even though they are MIA 95 percent of the time. Always be kind to yourself. None of this is easy. Have an amazing holiday with your son knowing he won't be there to ruin it for either of you.🎄☀️💪
Many people are in unhappy relationships. They either do not have the strength to leave or they are afraid to lose out financially so they stay. That does not make those of us who left quitters.
I was told by a well meaning family member, just get him out of your head and get over it and move on and be glad hes gone.....I wish it was that simple, but it just doesn't work like that. Its hard to explain to people, which is frustrating at times.
As a retired healer, I would say self-healing is best because the inner child needs the help. I've been in therapy for years because I had an abusive childhood and bad marriages. I think it's good to go to therapy because you do need someone to vent to. And friends get tired of hearing about it.
@@lb9171 I think this is a very valid and excellent point about the high cost of therapy and it not being an available option to so many. Plus with most therapists that say they have expertise in narscism don't take insurance. I truly feel the self knowledge you give yourself through watching these videos and reading comments actually will provide you with a much deeper understanding of yourself, what you have gone through and where your healing path can take you then any therapy session ever will. That is the amazing gift this community truly provides narscistic abuse survivors. In lieu of therapy another option is journaling to get all the abuse out of your system on a continued basis. By being part of a community like this it not only helps you heal but it gives you the tools and knowledge that you will never fall victim to these predators again and I am confident in saying 💯 that even years of therapy alone could never offer or provide that knowledge or trust in oneself. 💪☀️💯💪
100% true, no one would 'get it ' they just saw him as a 'well meaning' funny bloke, at home he was the devil himself. Going to 'therapists' doesn't help because this can't be helped by 'chatting' the trauma is trapped in our cells. Andrew u should become a therapist for narc abuse!
The trauma is trapped inside. Therapist don;t get it. They diagnose you with PTSD which is just that. They don't tell you about narcissism. Once I learned what it is I could then come to terms with it. Not that I don't /didn't remunerate. It was like dancing with the devil. Im so glad we have channel like this to learn and heal. Mediation helped me. I am now complete.
@@lindyinclusive8163 I think your comment really highlights a very important point that you may not even intended. As important as it is to find a therapist who understands narscism it is just important to do your homework and research in finding a lawyer that has a really good grasp and understands narscism 💯. Most judges have no clue on narscism and especially with coverts you can literally be left abused by the legal system all over again if you don't have a lawyer that really knows how to handle these cases. In the legal arena and divorce and separation agreements you really need to have a lawyer to protect you especially if you have kids. Narscistic abuse survivors need to be heard and know what's best for themselves and their kids. People won't understand the choices you make but it's a reminder that everything about narscism is unnatural and you have to protect yourself and stay strong. The narscistist loves to be in court it is unending supply for them like anything else that depletes the survivor. We always know what is best for ourselves. 💪💪💯
I realized through the process of healing that most therapists and counselors do not understand what we go through as victims of narcissistic abuse, because they are still stuck at the knowledge phase and have not experienced narcissistic abuse in any way. Add to that the possibility of some of them being narcissistic too, using others' pain and hurt as a form of supply, it makes things worse.
What I’ve found is, that the most magical thing happens when another person says “I’ve been there, I understand”. There’s not much more that needs to be said, the understanding alone means there is no exhausting process of trying to explain it, again. understanding from another person whose “been there”they have your back, no more needs to be said except, do you take cream and sugar in your coffee😊✅
You are so right! No one would ever believe what I have been through except for the people here and you Andrew! Thank God for getting me here! Thank you for being here!
I was awakened that my gift is being an extreme empath. I just didn't know that and I had No boundries at all. Now I need to learn to use my gift correctly.
Yes everyone keeps telling me to stop talking about it and stop making myself a victim! I just stopped talking about it my friends and relatives! Because they would think we are weak and we can’t handle breakups or divorces! But we are not grieving for them we are grieving for ourselves and what we went through! And there is no timeline to heal from it! Being an emotional person, it’s been a year and I am still having thoughts about it! The more emotional and genuine person you are, the more it will take time to heal from it!
I’m actually working through 46 years of narcissistic spousal abuse. I haven’t spoken to anyone about what I went through. It was just an unbelievable nightmare. Thank you Andrew, for being here for me on your channel.
Thank you Andrew for the wisdom you share. Daily dosage of encouragement and assurance and every one that was in a narcissist relationship will heal slowly but surely. Thank you and goodnight to all.
@@karmivavirhe Yes I agree fellow narc survivor. I can say after 4 months now of being discarded that I feel better than ever. No contact was the key factor to my healing. I am now starting to date again and I am watching out for red flags. I think having healthy boundaries is going to help me be happy in a relationship.Thanks for the comment 👍🙌❤
This is so true. I've experienced already people close to me sorta losing the initial patience/empathy for me that they had with me a year ago...it's so clear to me that they just think it's a broken relationship like any other. They just cannot possibly know the mind-eff that narcissist abuse is, unless they themselves have experienced it first-hand. I'm going to be seeing some old friends soon, who I haven't seen in a few years...I've really been stressin over what to say, if asked about my marriage. I know there's no way they could ever possibly understand so I feel dread and discomfort over the possibility of the subject of my marriage/impending divorce coming up when I see them
Just brush it off, and say it’s all done, and ask them about themselves, people really don’t really want to know, and so just put the focus back on them….relax for yourself and be apathetic about the narc they are not worth your lovely energy..
I had this happen to me this past weekend with a neighbor from down the block. I just said we are no longer together our paths were taking us in different directions. They said oh ok I'm sorry I didn't know and I said thank you it's for the best and then we started talking about something else. No awkwardness, no explanation was needed. I really do think also that people don't really want to know. Enjoy yourself when you go spend time with your old friends and laugh alot it really did help me a few weeks ago.💪🌟😊
Overcomer I know I feel just as you. My brother said to me after three days, it's all done now, move on. I too dread telling people. I understand the feeling.
As a therapist who has specialized in narc abuse for the past 25 years (and also a victim of this), I completely agree with Andrew. Many therapists out there haven’t a clue. Further, some actually conduct couples counseling with the narc and victim and this is just never okay - it creates more danger for the victim .
This is so true and sad too. Others might when we explain what we've been through...see us as we have mental issues 😢! I eventually stopped to explain it to people about what I've been throgh in my 17yrs with my ex Covert Narcissist husband..and took that energy for explaining to them and use that to get deep ...really deep understanding of the whole thing through Google and TH-cam video and i finally made peace to myself that I'm not alone in this. And im learning more everyday Thank you much Andrew. Much Love from Tanzania 🇹🇿🇹🇿
Yes, I got the same treatment! Friends and family never knew, and he knew they didn't but that I did. It was as if he received some kind of twisted enjoyment from it.
@@fredajohnson5542 yes they do get sadistic enjoyment from things like this and they know no-one believes you, they are truly demonic, Revelations 12:9-12,
This is so very accurate. I had ONE good friend i could really talk to in detail about what I went thru, but I didnt even go into depth with her about the worst of it. To this day there are a great many people in my life who have no idea what I went thru. I didnt go to a therapist, and I do agree that most of them have no idea what a Narcissist really does to their victims. I sat back and just smiled, went to work, did my daily routines and pondered WHAT just happened to me. It took me 3 years of silence, then hoovering, silence, hoover and so on before I FINALLY started to put a definition to him and his behavior. It has been several years of no contact and there are days I still cant believe it happened to me. That is one reason I started talking about it here, to give myself some clarity and understanding and each story I would talk about, I would remember and work thru it in myself.
I'm so happy to see your subscribers grow daily! You are addressing such an important issue ! I did go to school for this and you are better than a therapist in my opinion. You are real and "get it". Thank you for your time, your insight and for creating this channel!
I also don't tell people about this and what I went through. I just am so tired of being upset about it. I'm also a very private person. You are SO right..its hard to find a good therapist...many of them are simply not "in it for the right reasons".
@@mango5541 Michelle I am a very private person to. I have found though that this channel and community provides me with a safe and supporting place to share my experiences and progress. I hope this channel can provide you with a safe place to connect with other survivors as you continue along your healing path. Know you are never alone and someone is always here for you. God bless you as you continue to move forward. Education and self love and forgiveness is truly the key to moving forward.💪☀️😊🙏
Hi Christine, thank you for your reply. You are so right that I do need to talk about it with people who understand. Andrew is right when he says that a lot of people don't know about narcissistic personally disorder. Plus I am embarrassed about how many times I allowed him to come back into my life before I finally woke up 10 months ago.
@@mango5541 I fully understand mine also had the full blown npd disorder. I took him back more times then I could count also and had so much guilt and shame. Through my healing journey though I realized I always thought I could fix him. I thought if I had him leave he would realize what he had and get better and appreciate it. They aren't fixable and won't change no matter how much we loved them. They are sick and manipulative and vile people. Be kind to yourself and know things get so much better. If you ever want to talk just drop me a comment I definitely get it and am here to help in any way I can. Have a great weekend laugh alot and do something that makes you happy😊
Thank you Andrew. You are so right. Most people don't understand. I was incredibly fortunate that I met a woman who had been through narcisistic abuse herself, and even though she didn't really know me at that time, she loaned me $3,000, so I could move away. She is still my best friend and helped me immensely at that time, and I reciprocated I her case. This was over 8 years ago now. On the subject of therapists, early on I went to see a few different ones. As you said, the 3 that were of great benefit at that time,and listened and empathized, had been through it themselves. Bless you 🌹
Andrew you just said it . I learned down the road I had to start processing what I had went through ! I became too embarrassed to even admit what i was going through . I was ashame of myself for allowing some one to drag me through their mess . I didn't know I needed this healing community . I didn't know you were even here 🌻
So glad to be reading all this. Andrew you’re a life saver. I lost 33 years but as you explained in another video don’t think of it as time lost but as a process I had to go thru to be a better man
Absolutely! I am trying to heal and release myself from a 3.5 yr Narcissistic relationship. I feel Mentally, Physically, Spiritually, Emotionally exhausted. I'm having a difficult time forgiving myself because I knew this person was actually treating another human so inhumane. I tried my best to not believe that anyone would have such an evil mindset to treat anyone with such behavior. It was almost like when they weren't there in person commiting these horrible things, they were plotting on how to manipulate you next. My home, twelve year business and two new vehicles were robbed by a family member that I had taken into my home when we met. Needless to say, I was at the lowest, darkest place in my life and the thought of someone intentionally and purposely taking me to an even darker place was the furthest thought in my mind at the time. I thought I had met a Good Samaritan. How stupid of me! Anyway, I'm still at that place trying to forgive myself for actually putting myself in the position. I'm a young 65 and have been single for almost thirty years. Educated, well traveled, well versed and respectful independent female who never knew that I would meet the Devil in the Flesh in my lifetime. There are times that I feel like I have absolutely lost my mind and pray that I come back to myself better than ever. It's not easy to heal from the unimaginable abuse of a narcissist. Words couldn't tell the story.
The term narcissist wasn’t in vogue when I was involved with the narc. I had no knowledge. I thought a narc was someone who was full of themselves. My therapist thought I was exaggerating about what was taking place. We went through years of me trying to explain my “gut” feelings about the narc. It wasn’t until the divorce and the narc called my therapist in an attempt to get info from him. My therapist called me immediately and apologized. He said he could tell who/what he was simply by the tone of his voice. This channel is my first experience of validation about what I have gone through. No one else gets it....AND I don’t share about it, either. Thank you so much Andrew! God bless you and those on this channel! 💝🦋🙏🏻✍🏻📖🌸🌼
My friends & family disliked him because they saw how frazzled I could get. He could be charming & flip into a rage if I was 10 min late…and than smooth it over with some bull $hit. But unless someone has become entangled with one of these “ creatures “ they won’t understand. It’s like PTSD., it takes time to heal.
I agree if you tell someone who hasn't lived it that you are suffering from PTSD especially when you are still in the trauma bond and fog they look at you like your crazy. This abuse is very real. My situation was with an overt one who could turn on the charm if he needed to but it was always very short lived. Stay strong and continue on your healing path. Know PTSD is a very real effect of Narscistic abuse and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. God bless you on your healing path 🙏☀️🕊️
@The Jedi Yes the are. Always remember good always overcomes evil and brings light to the darkness. sending you prayers and peace as you continue on your healing path 🙏🕊️
It is like a form of PTSD ......when you think you feel calm, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, you can feel your body tense up and get anxious. Since leaving three weeks ago, on the rare occasion I manage to drop off asleep, I wake up, in the middle of the night....heart pounding and shaking. I hope this settles down. He has taken everything from me except my soul and faith in God. I'm grateful to be here with you all, on the healing path. I'm truly blessed and thank you Andrew for your messages, insights and encouragement. You are doing a wonderful thing here, using your pain and suffering to educate us. No weapon formed against us will prosper. We are all moving forward, one step and one day at a time, towards true freedom and healing. God bless us all, wherever we are on the healing path.
@@angelacahill9083 It's extremely scary. You're experiencing night time panic attacks. You literally think you are going to die. I experienced them for years. There is a lot of research out there that can provide you information on them. I can share a few tips that helped me. When you wake up stand up immediately. Remind yourself that you are ok and that you are not in danger. Keep a glass of water next to your bed and drink it slowly. Close your eyes and take deep breaths. As your heart rate starts to decrease think of something or a place that makes you happy. Your heart rate will return to normal and you can lay back down. These have helped me. Since the narc left I know that he was the root cause of my anxiety and night time panic attacks. I had a mini one the other night for the first time in 6 months. When you know what they are and that you are not actually having a heart attack or in danger you can control them much better. When mine started coming on the other night I stopped it in its tracks by reminding myself I'm safe. I controlled it in seconds through deep breaths without even getting out of bed. It actually was such an empowering moment having my heart rate return to normal in seconds and knowing that I was in full control of calming my body and mind. It's just a reminder that the only effects of CPTSD are real and we need to learn how to control it so that it doesn't control us. Sending you healing prayers of peace and strength 🙏🕊️💪✨
I’ve never ever told anyone what I went through. Just you & this group. Thank you because it has been GREAT to share . It’s been so liberating. So healthy. So deep . These therapist didn’t learn these behaviors . I was misdiagnosed. My Ex lied to them & they favored the narc. It was a bad experience. I really felt I was abused even greater by a professional & bilked girl it. I paid for my Ex to have charmed & lied to them so they were controlled & manipulated by him . But I am finally healing. Thank you Greatly. It’s time for my walk ❤God bless you
He made me feel crazy. And that I was the bar. Smh. Thank you for this video. My therapist doesn't get it that's why I sought help through this group. It helps more for healing and understanding
For the past 3 years I've been explaining the HELL that I lived through. Thankfully police, family, friends, therapists, psychiatrists believe me, can't fathom it, but believe me. I escaped after 45 years of marriage, quite a few years were 'managable', but the death of my mom was the catalyst for mega abuse/torture. I was No contact from the first week and now have a life time restraining order. I listen to you Andrew every day for my 'fill', THANK YOU.
Just listening to your explanations and hearing what you've been through comforts me more than any expensive therapist with a bunch of head knowledge on the subject, because they have no way to empathize emotionally having never personally experienced this type of abuse. This is a much needed topic that is rarely discussed. I sure needed to hear this and I thank you!
I’ve been though so much others wouldn’t believe it I wouldn’t know where to start I stayed for 24 years with a narcissist I was afraid to leave as he broke me down mentally physically & emotionally I didn’t believe anyone would want me as he told me I was lucky I had him as no one else would put up with me he was so charming others thought we had the perfect family no one knew what went on behind closed doors or when we were out he would treat others better than me he was very jealous & would accuse me of way I dressed acted towards other men if a friend of his made me laugh when he left I would get grief . I could write a book as I took so much broken nose black eyes busted lip & things I couldn’t write here as I had sexual abuse from him . I ended relationship in 2009 but I’m still healing from abuse an suffer with PTSD I’m so glad I found your site your daily messages are so helpful to me & others I really appreciate what you’re saying and sharing thank you so much Namaste 🙏🕉️💚
thank you for this video. My friends and family even attacked me 1. for watching YT about narcissism too much 2. for taking defensive action against my narcissist. I had to cut them all away of my life, perhaps not forever, I end up completely alone and turned to coaches from TH-cam. Writing this for anybody who goes through this, TRUST YOURSELF no matter what.
I am a licensed clinical therapist. And I am not offended in the least. You are 💯 correct that unless a therapist has gone through it before, or gone out of their way to learn the tricks and trades of a narcissist, they won’t get it. I always support getting mental health therapy. But if at all possible, search for therapists that specialize in this area (which is unfortunately extremely low in numbers). Part of the reason I became a therapist is because I went to one for couples therapy with a malignant narcissist ex. I left feeling very crazy and further gaslit by the therapist that accepted his deluded version of events. I was told I was too involved and concerned about his cheating, which was further pushing him away, and that my trust issues were the main problem. NO JOKE. Sad to say. I wish you all the best in your healing journey, and know that every day you survived, you are healing, and it will get better. Sending you love. 💕
I have been alienated by family members and friends... It hurts as bad as the abuse.... I feel even more alone than I did in the relationship. Thankful for your videos.
My experience…Trying to explain it to others ends up feeling similar as when trying to explain things to the narcissist. It’s extremely painful and frustrating. They may even see you as oversensitive and angry, which will trigger you. Instead, I found my own answer with research and reflection. Every day I fit a new piece into the puzzle, Although as time passes I find myself less interested in completing that puzzle. I find peace and strength within me and in this safe channel. I love knowing there’s a new video every day and amazing comments from everyone. You all are my few minutes of normalcy every day. It’s beautiful really. So In my opinion, there’s no value in explaining. That need is a residual side effect of our narc relationship. Try not to expose loved ones to the horror of the battlefield. Keep them healthy, they want to support us.
Beautifully put Esh. Yes trying to explain is reminiscent of trying to get through to the Narcissist, it can be frustrating and dispiriting. Talking to people who have experienced it is like finding a safe haven. I have 2 close friends who experienced it and were an absolute lifeline after discard. And I found out some friends had experienced it too after posting a World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day message on Facebook. Their kindness and support was touching and validating. I try to help anyone who is battling with these hellish relationships. It helps you heal. 🕯️❤️
This is absolutely true! As I go along the healing path, I find it harder to seek for help. People who know what happened (and believed what I told them) are now less interested compared to when I first opened up to them. It's as if they are implying that it's been months you should be able to do better now because time is the best healer. In no offense to them, I understand why they'd react as such because they don't know any better and also they have their own lives to deal with. I think they have done their best to support me. I just would like to add that sometimes it's also difficult to open up to someone who experienced this kind of abuse because being an empath I think I send triggers whenever I tell them my story, which I fully understand. In the end I end up supporting them and setting aside my feelings. :D This goes to show that ONLY YOU can help yourself in your healing path, and you are correct just stay focus on healing and do your best each and everyday. It's not easy but with patience I know we all can go through this. I am also a believer of a divine power as I am a Catholic ( I’m not suggesting that everyone needs to believe in one though) and I find it helpful to talk to God in prayers. Probably more like meditation.
I get exactly what your saying 💯. Let your faith guide you and honestly you will never feel alone ever again knowing their is something divine in your healing path. Thank you so much for sharing. This is a true reminder to me that what we all experience is very REAL along our journey. Do not fear things that can't be explained and continue on your own personal healing path and embrace wherever it takes you. If you are blessed enough to experience that then your ability to heal will reach a whole different level. Continue to heal yourself from within every day. Things do get brighter. God bless you and your beautiful faith. 💯🙏💪🕊️🌟😇🌄💯
@@christine11347 Thank you for your words of encouragement. It feels great to know that though we are on a different healing journeys, there are people who cheer and celebrate small wins with us. God bless you!
@@eneliva God bless you also thank you for your kind words they definitely made me 😊 Every Sunday the priest in my parish starts his homily "God is good everyday. Everyday God is good" I love that because when you have faith it such a blessing a lot of people don't have or understand. We are very blessed and I hope your faith continues to guide you on your healing path. You are never alone whenever you need to just drop a comment. Have a very Merry and Blessed Christmas 💯🎄✝️🕊️🙏🕯️☀️
I DO feel like I have a super power now having gone through (and healed) from marital narcissistic abuse. I have knowledge and information that the non-abused do not (and won't get without paying the price that abused victims have). I used my super power to show another narcissist girlfriend the front door, never to contact her again, refusing to respond to her hoovers for years, knowing my silence was unraveling her false world. The old saying "What you survive only makes you stronger" is true. We narc victims survived and we now have a super power most people do not understand.
One of the cruelest aspects of narcissistic abuse, after discard, is the realization that the isolation hasn't ended but has in fact been cemented into your reality and experience. Trying to explain your experience to anyone can sound like you are bitter, petty and quite frankly crazy. You must though find someone to talk to. I know this is easier said than done. It took me over a year to find someone who understood what I was trying to articulate regarding what I had experienced. They too are a survivor. It's been over two years now since I was discarded and whilst I still have bad days they are becoming less frequent and brief in duration. When I can't talk with someone ie, at work for instance, I listen to Andy, Narc con, Narc chronicles etc, etc for understanding, strength and ultimately peace. Things do get better and personally as my inner strength and confidence grows the future no longer frightens me. Keep up the good work Andy. We are not alone
Yes. I’ve tried for years and people either don’t want to hear it or ignore or they turn things around and make it seem like you the problem. I still deal with them today.
My therapist, her ex of 20 years is a narcissist. I lucked out to have her. Remember, narcissist are shape shifters. The love you had was just molded to us, it wasn't real. But I know my friends and family did not like her at all. All have listened but for the most part don't get it! I have someone new in my life and she can't believe the horror I went thru. But I'm truly blessed because she's known others who have gone thru the same thing. Life is peaceful and tranquil right now. I couldn't have gotten here, if it wasn't for groups like this.
Wow. I just found your channel. Thx u. I’m just pulling out of the spiderweb. It’s so refreshing to watch each and every one of your videos. I feel you hit everything dead on the nail. U are 100% correct, ppl all around you absolutely do not understand the gravity of the abuse u experienced under the spell of a true narcissist …and many times just dismiss u, certainly do not understand, and will even think less of who u are bc you fell prey to such an individual. It’s not their fault but it’s really disheartening when u reach out for help and find that most ppl don’t understand how incredibly hurt and damaged your soul is.. Thank you for your wisdom.
You are so right.... I tried to explain to my best friend without any success. In fact, I felt that it was a waste of time and surely did not have the insight nor the ability to really understand. I felt somewhat "isolated " and frustrated with the fact that my closest friends were not able to really grasp what I went through. The remark "we can't believe it, "it can not be true" became such frustration that I gave up to make them understand what was hidden behind the mask and what I endured behind closed doors. Nevertheless, I focused on myself and started to educate myself (mostly from your teachings) and achieved exceptional 👌 peace within myself that I'm the only one who can help myself and really understand what I went through. So, gaining insight and educating myself on this topic is, in my opinion, is enough to heal step by step. I don't need to explain to any person who I know who will not understand what I went through. The most important thing for me now ,10 months out of the extremely abusive and toxic relationship, is to rather focus on my life going forward and find my place in a healthy society again. Andrew, thank you for your teachings. It means the world to me. Namaste and God bless 🙌 🙏 ❤️
Therapy is tricky.I've walked out the door shaking my head feeling like,f-this.When your in a place where your on your own and the only person that you can trust is yourself you just have to hold on.Try to keep it simple and hold on.I've reached a point where I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.Blissful indifference and a smile on my face...
I saw the face of the narcissist change shape , it was often prior to an attack and was way beyond a micro expression , it was a totally different face that would appear , truly horrific . It’s as if they know that no one will believe us when we attempt to explain the utter hellish madness that is within them
I made a conscious decision to stop talking to a close friend that me and the narc shared. He definitely agreed with me that the narc treated me badly (he was there and seen it with his own eyes a lot of the times). After the breakup i would confide in him until he said “get over it, because he is over you”….thats when it hit me that i was being invalidated again (even if it was not intentional). So i decided to stop talking to him. I am on my healing journey and in a much better place. Thank you Andrew for this channel and for other content creators for making a safe space for us narc abuse victims. Blessings.
Talking about the crazy antics of a narcissistic person, simply looks crazy to people who haven’t encountered pure evil. They are just that, evil. We need to document everything, texts , voice messages any and everything. You never know when you’re going to need proof.Peace and blessings to everyone 🙏
This resonates so much Just having the red pill moment of realization that I have major narcissistic abuse issues from my family. Just turned 35 and realize what this did to me. And what this did to my family. Both parents were narcissists. I was closer to my dad. My brother was attached more to my mom. Now my brother isn’t close to my mom. I’m not close to my dad. Due to so many of the narcs tools from the respective parents. And my brother and I don’t talk at all hardly due to the Golden child/scapegoat toxic sibling rivalry. Very sad. But very eye opening. Narcissism DESTROYS families. I am a case study.
Perfectly on time, Andrew. I was realising just this exact thing yesterday night while talking to my flatmate: nobody that hasn't passed through the fire will understand fully. The majority of people has the cliche of the narcissist guy in mind when you talk to them about narcissism and what you went through. How could we blame these people? They are just like us, before the abuse. Once more, one needs to make distinction among people who haven't experienced narc abuse and, among them, people that love and believe us and that are ready to support us even if they don't understand everything we went through. But these are few, if one's very lucky. Personally, that's the reason why I changed my therapist (who followed me and the n. and didn't have an education specifically on narc abuse) for one that is specialised on this subject: the work is so much more effective, and honestly, having this kind of therapist can prevent you , in time, to go around explaining friends and relatives why the hell you just escaped was really an hell (and not being understood, at all), and save some energy, in the end. If the "average" man or woman doesn't get it, it's because either wasn't educated or have not lived it. Yes, on the healing path we're growing a superpower. That can really save many people from hell on earth. Thank you very much, Andrew for your work and thank you to all the people in this community ❤🙏💪
Hi Andrew, thanks so much for this great Video :* sometimes i get moments who i think i am going crazy and all feels like fog in my head. So your help here is so great and we all empaths feel at Home in your Channel. Thanks so much for your Time and Love in this Channel
I totally agree with you. While healing we must be patient and trust our feelings, we know what we have been through and it is vital to get our power and confidence back and not Let anybody invalidate or minimize our experiences. As victims of narcisistic abuse we have been conditioned and trained not to respect ourselves and our perception and experiences as valid and true because we have the right to feel what we feel and nobody is entitled to invalidate it.
Thank you for this it is so true, I don’t bother telling people who don’t understand it’s too complex to explain. But I’m in a place that I’m so grateful to be out of the entanglement, I’m free, I wish I had known that one day I would be so grateful to have been set free from that prison, it’s fantastic! Still have emotional flashbacks, less and less now, but I understand how to deal with them now, and I couldn’t care less, I’m done already! Keep doing what you are doing this information literally saves lives.
I was actually judged hard by a PHD therapist when trying to work on addressing my situation and when trying to find a way to heal from the relationship I had with the former narcissist my life. My friends I also felt judged by except by one who experienced abuse by a narcissist also. The only people who get me are people like yourself and others I’ve found online somehow. Thank you.
I had counselling and the counsellor judged me so this resonates. I thought they were supposed to be neutral and to help. It did more harm than good 😞.
Yes, its so easy to sound crazy when trying to express what happened! Be careful, or other people may look askance at you, and we are too vulnerable right now to have to deal with that, too. Find someone you really, really trust - someone with a proven good heart - to talk to if you need to talk.
I really admire your presentation and style in talking about this subject, you are calm, rational and balanced. A great deal of channels aren't, and that can sometimes hold us back from our healing, we turn away, we switch off. But your approach is just right Andrew, so easy to listen to and take in the common sense and sensitive advice you impart. Keep doing it you're inspiring. Thank you from UK 💜🇬🇧💜💪💪🥰
Every video I watch, helps to unpack the damage they do to a person... It's hard to accept he never loved me and just was using me...everything you say fits this man!
Well delivered and all he is trying to say is that you need to take responsibility of your physical,emotional,mental well being. Take charge of your life, how you feel and live in it.
The only one who truly understands what I have been through is my twin sister. She has been my strength when I was on the verge of a break down. Thank God for giving me a twin.
Being a twin should be special. Unfortunately, my twin sister is a toxic narcissist. My parents took her for counseling, but years later my mother revealed that my sister manipulated all of them. Back then, in the 1970s, no one talked about narcissists. I didn’t learn about them until I almost married one. That was when I also realized who and what my sister was. I didn’t block her completely until a few years ago. When I did, I moved, but my stepsister told my twin where I was. The only reason I told my stepsister was because she needed to mail me things when my father passed. I hope to move again by the end of the year. I worry that my adult child is inadvertently a flying monkey as he has contact with my evil twin’s husband occasionally… not sure what to do about that as brother-in-law never protected me from my sister even when he witnessed her abuse. The only person who gets what happened is my cousin, but she moved to the other side of the country recently. However, I still have her as a trusted person that I can talk to, so I am grateful for that.
Carol I love this comment because the other day my family members were talking and saying don't worry my new found sense of joy and positivity is just a phase. I just laughed and thought it's not a phase. Now you just gave me the word to explain it your absolutely right the healing path is a Lifestyle and when you choose to educate yourself, appreciate all life has to offer and keep working on keeping the past in the past and living in the present then its a really great lifestyle to live. Thanks for making me smile this morning have a great day. 💪🙏☀️😊🌟
Because narcs can be so completely different in their tactics, my last bf really threw me. I was watching videos on narcissism and he didn't fit any of the descriptions until I started listening to a narc on TH-cam. People who haven't lived it, do not get it. It's almost like a club...you either know or you don't. And unfortunately, the healing process took quite a while. As to therapy, if you're attracting narcs, there's something inside that needs to be healed and I'm not convinced a therapist can do that. As stated in the video, most therapists just don't get narcissism. Great video!
Andrew I agree that no one however educated, can understand what we have gone through, unless they have walked through the fire , it cannot be explained ,The feeling is taking blow by blow of extreme hatred. It is felt but not easily seen! That’s why we think we were crazy. Thank God we have these videos to explain our truth.
Absolutely! 11 years ago was one of my worst out of 2 in my life. Trying to explain what I was going through and having no idea what it was at the time was very frustrating to say the least. You’re absolutely correct! Unless people have been through it they have absolutely no idea what it is like and seem to think that it’s easy to get over and question why you go back so many times. We are grateful for people like you. Keep up the good fight!
Wow ... just Wow. I've experienced this "deer in the headlights" look from close friends and family who are incapable of grasping what the last 7 years of my life looked like! And kudos to you, Andrew, for calling out the incompetency of therapists who are C.l.u.e.l.e.s.s. 😮💨 I keep coming back to your channel for truth. Thank you
Glad you did this topic. My 2 BFs were good listeners but I realized they weren't understanding the real issue and I was sounding like a broken record, and another good friend (confidante) asked how I could be so stupid. So I, also, did tons of research and stuck to online communities, and journaling. You're great Andrew - thank you.
Do not try to explain it to anyone, I know we all need a little support 🙏 But unfortunately very few people will understand 🙏 love and light for you all 🙏❤️🙏
It is a lonely path and its true that you have to get your head around it before sharing. People dont get it but its good to have one or two people who you can speak to now and again. Most of the time you do this work alone and you get to trust yourself and the process. You get stronger and stronger with the help of channels like this - thank you Andrew.
Hey there, one of my best friends yelled at me when I tried to explain. My feelings are that I want to continue to communicate with you and others that are in healing because we are the only ones who understand. I was told that I was paranoid. No chance, my feelings and what is and was happening is real. Thank you again for your help. 🤗
Ali, one person told me I was being "negative and obsessing". Another told me to "move on". They don't get it. Still healing. It's called "soul rape" for a reason. We get it. We've been there. We know what happened. Best wishes.
@@isabellcaputo954 is a good example of someone not being able to relate. I went through a emergency landing when we were told that the landing gear lights were malfunctioning, we had no idea what was going to happen. Telling the story could make someone wonder but unless you have been through it they don’t know how you felt and the other experience of preparing for something like that. I’ve never had my knees knock like they did but that was another experience that my body reacted to. I think it’s better for us to be the person to understand and be able to communicate with and help someone else going through the situation. I don’t always like to be a talker, it is so important to stop your own actions so that you can let the other person know you are truly listening to what they are saying and in doing that it’s amazing how they react when they are being heard instead of not validating their feelings. 🤗🥰
@@isabellcaputo954 and it's soul rape across the board, but really it's wicked spirit that used humans to harm us that they inhabited without our knowledge, Revelations 12:9-12
Its taken me over 15 yrs to actually gain balance and insight to put it in order. I wouldn’t even try to explain to people .I realised that right from the beginning. Its so complex and traumatic ..Talk ,reflect ,but realise its not to be shared with everybody
HI ANDREW. HOPE YOUR DAY IS GOING WELL. THANKS FOR YOUR VIDEO TODAY. I DON'T THINK WE CAN EXPLAIN TO OTHERS WHAT WE WENT THROUGH. ONLY SOMEONE WHO KNOWS IT UNDERSTANDS. WE ARE THE BEST AUTHORITY ABOUT OUR EXPERIENCE WITH NARCISSISM. I GAVE MYSELF CLOSURE. THE BEST THINGS THAT HELPED ME WERE THE NARC KNOWLEDGE I GAINED FROM TH-cam VIDEOS & PEOPLE'S COMMENTS, ETC. ALSO WHAT HELPED ME WAS WRITING ALL MY FEELINGS AND EXPERIENCE IN A JOURNAL, READING BOOKS ABOUT SELF ESTEEM AND PEOPLE PLEASING. WE ARE A YEARS-LONG PROJECT IN THE MAKING.0
Andrew, your points are absolutely spot on about experiencing a narcissistic relationship . He died last year and I moved back into the house in which we raised our children before I left him. We lived together 31 years. Now, I am bombarded with those years of memories of abuse which happened in this house. Most of the time I hold it in and cry, or write poetry about it. The last time I read a poem to a family member, she said I needed therapy because the poem was "dark." When I would speak to my friend who had similar experiences she would "top" my story every time leaving me frustrated because she would turn it into her own issues. We both needed a type of listener who could offer healing, expertise and validation. As you stated, the emotional pain runs deep and I just don't know who will listen with the type of understanding I need. I love your advise and videos, however, you have amazing insight and a beautiful spirit..
Thank you, Andrew. So grateful for this wisdom, and for you, and everyone here xx 💜🌼
Welcome..😌💜🙏
The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit
That verse has brought me alot of comfort. Another favorite of mine is from Isaiah 42:16...I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, Along unfamiliar paths I will guide them, I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do. I will not forsake them🙏
Amen 🙏 ☀️🙌
Amen
Amen.
It's actually God who draws close to Us. His Son is going to end sorrow!
Indeed. Therapist and friends lose interest after you told them once. But every time you have a lightbulb moment you want to reflect, people think: “oh there she goes again about that guy”. So I try not to discuss this with them. It is a lonely path, but grateful for this channel and the community 🥰
Welcome Yoz.. I appreciate your honesty and sharing this 💯🙌🙏☀️😊
I agree, it can be very lonely....silent suffering.
And the longer you were in it, the more lightbulb moment you have. Because there’s certain things that pop up in your mind that you forgot about
Yup, yes, so true.
@@shawnchrystafur 💯💫
To those that have been through it ..no explanation is necessary.
To those that haven't...no explanation is possible.
You will be very fortunate to find someone to talk your truth too who actually truly understands.
Beautiful and deep message DC.. thank you 💯💯🙌🙏☀️
Aint this the truth. I keep my own counsel..everyone around me thinks he's great. I see myself diminishing daily however.
Well said
@@deborahbather7808 keep your light shining !!
@@joeshymanski thank you Joe..you too my friend 🌅🌞
“Unless you’ve gone through the fire, others won’t get it!” YES. Yes. Yes.
Completely correct Kae..🙏🙌💯
So true
I think the best way to explain to people about what we have gone through is, “I won’t waste our time, as you wouldn’t understand”.
Best option is listening to channels like this and do the healing yourself. You learn and know the truth and that’s all that matters.
I appreciate your honesty Warren.. this is exactly how I too began to heal.. 💯🙌🙏☀️
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone
For me, with understanding and regaining my boundaries, I no longer care about her or our relationship - all in the past - and I don’t want to appear whiny or waste peoples time, and mine, explaining why we are no longer together. You know the reasons why Andrew and so does everyone else on here. I don’t need to tell anyone else. 🙏
Yep we can vent all we want even if no one reads our comments or don’t finish them we can be ourselves without having to tell others I know you tied of hearing it yep it’s repetitive however this is the most I’ve expressed it the most I’ve reflected and wrote down stuff and it’s like the more she say the more I remember oh yeah and that too..
I used to tell my friends that he USED me, LIED to me, and criticized me, so I left him. It's ALL TRUE. You just don't mention narcissism to them.
I agree!! Watching this channel is definitely helping. I'm grateful to have a therapist well aware of the narcissistic abuse cycle. But may need to limit my sharing with family and friends
Thanks Andrew. Only those that have experienced this understand. No one sees the real monster except the survivor of the abuse.
Agree completely Barbara 💯💯
Agreed. It's impossible to explain it to others because others are seeing a totally different side of the narcissist. They don't see who the narcissist is behind closed doors.
So true
This is truly the absolute worse thing I've ever been through in my life. Not even my parents' deaths murdered me more.
That's why they call it "soul rape". Understand. Healing also. Stay strong!
Newlife22 Same here the deaths in my family -----I knew they were in peace with God. This discard was the worst feeling I have had in my life. He discarded me like a piece of trash.
I said the same exact thing, my parents passing was traumatic, but this surpassed that, I have never been betrayed in so many ways, on every level imaginable from a person who I thought loved me.
@@joann5465 Same here, my ex betrayed -it was so rough!!! I still can't believe how he did, and I thought that he loved me.
@@marysarianides8150 I know, it's so hard to wrap our heads around it, Gods blessings 🌠
No one will ever know the hell we endured. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.. but that's the difference between us and them. We wouldn't think of doing what they did.
Yes Charlene..💯🙌☀️🙏
If you saw your ex narc in public with their new victim. Knowing the horror we went thru and never wishing this on anyone. Would you say something to their new source or just maintain no contact?
@@stephenkane7499 I would say something. I would make a point of going up to him/her and saying loudly “ Shame…I feel so sorry for you. “…because I do.
Actually saying this to support groups/other people that you really pity the new victim, is the only thing I have found that starts to make others think about/reconsider what you have said to them all the more seriously …
Thank you! You're the first to ever answer this. I hear people say they wouldn't wish this on their worst enemy. Then if that's the case, you see their new source, you should say something. I'm torn, I'm 50/50 still, but it's taken me so long to recover, she needs a rude awakening!
@@stephenkane7499 I actually wouldn't say anything to them. No good will come out of it for you. Initially it will make you feel better but they will turn it on you and make you look like the crazy jealous jaded stalker. They have probably already prewarmed the new supply that this day would be coming. I wouldn't even give them the satisfaction. In my opinion you shoul just walk away with your head held high and know you are safe and away from them and say a prayer that the new supply will find a way to find enough self love and worth to get out on their own one day. Sadly a new one will be right there to replace them if they do. Keep all of your energy for yourself. Always remember any supply you give to them negative or positive is supply and they feed off of it. Don't let them take anymore from you. Continue you forward and live the happy life you deserve. Don't forget the past but live in the present each day. 💪☀️
You are spot on. There is no one I could explain this to that would understand. I learned slowly over the last 3 years. I can't believe I allowed myself to be sucked in. These narcissists are so popular. Everyone loves them. If I ever said anything, people would think I was the crazy one. I'm sure they are smearing me since I finally have had the courage to stay away (90%) right now. I do not want to character assassinate them to anyone either... I doubt myself yet deep down I know the truth. It sure is lonely on the other side though.
Thank you Teri.. continue to become educated .. you are doing great 💯🙌🙏☀️
I get it. My ex was a covert narcissist. Loved by everyone. He is spot on. It is insidious. Looking back I now see. It's hard to see in a storm.
Teri Gee your spot on my situation as well, my narc abandoned us for 3 yrs, well really thruout the marriage, no one sees his crazy as he’s kept me isolated to raise our son alone, he uses his job as an excuse to stay gone, but thank god, it’s Christmas and he’s called a cpl times of course he leaves no messages always a game
@@doreenr.7922 Always a game stay strong and keep your boundaries super high. They love to use the kids as their way to weasel there way back in even though they are MIA 95 percent of the time. Always be kind to yourself. None of this is easy. Have an amazing holiday with your son knowing he won't be there to ruin it for either of you.🎄☀️💪
Many people are in unhappy relationships. They either do not have the strength to leave or they are afraid to lose out financially so they stay. That does not make those of us who left quitters.
I was told by a well meaning family member, just get him out of your head and get over it and move on and be glad hes gone.....I wish it was that simple, but it just doesn't work like that. Its hard to explain to people, which is frustrating at times.
That's what people tell me. At least we're not alone!
Them narcs have the lights on, but no one is ever coming home.
That house is empty.
Yes Joann.. I understand completely 💯💯
@@BREAKOUT444 that's for sure!!!
Yes, Joann. I understand. Been there, too.
YES JOANN, after 3 days, my brother told me to just get over it.
Nobody I know outside of this channel has no idea what I’ve been through and what I’m going through still
As a retired healer, I would say self-healing is best because the inner child needs the help. I've been in therapy for years because I had an abusive childhood and bad marriages. I think it's good to go to therapy because you do need someone to vent to. And friends get tired of hearing about it.
Thank you Ginger.. I appreciate your insight 💯🙌🙏☀️
Self Healing is best
If you can afford it 😏
@@lb9171 very true, where there's a dollar to be made they will listen even if they don't understand fully where you've been.
@@lb9171 I think this is a very valid and excellent point about the high cost of therapy and it not being an available option to so many. Plus with most therapists that say they have expertise in narscism don't take insurance.
I truly feel the self knowledge you give yourself through watching these videos and reading comments actually will provide you with a much deeper understanding of yourself, what you have gone through and where your healing path can take you then any therapy session ever will. That is the amazing gift this community truly provides narscistic abuse survivors. In lieu of therapy another option is journaling to get all the abuse out of your system on a continued basis. By being part of a community like this it not only helps you heal but it gives you the tools and knowledge that you will never fall victim to these predators again and I am confident in saying 💯 that even years of therapy alone could never offer or provide that knowledge or trust in oneself. 💪☀️💯💪
100% true, no one would 'get it ' they just saw him as a 'well meaning' funny bloke, at home he was the devil himself. Going to 'therapists' doesn't help because this can't be helped by 'chatting' the trauma is trapped in our cells. Andrew u should become a therapist for narc abuse!
I appreciate your kindness Christine 💯💯🙌🙌☀️🙏
Yes Andrew will make a super therapist and/or lawyer to help ! Actually he’s helping me morning and night daily!!!!!
The trauma is trapped inside. Therapist don;t get it. They diagnose you with PTSD which is just that. They don't tell you about narcissism. Once I learned what it is I could then come to terms with it. Not that I don't /didn't remunerate. It was like dancing with the devil. Im so glad we have channel like this to learn and heal. Mediation helped me. I am now complete.
@@lindyinclusive8163 I think your comment really highlights a very important point that you may not even intended. As important as it is to find a therapist who understands narscism it is just important to do your homework and research in finding a lawyer that has a really good grasp and understands narscism 💯. Most judges have no clue on narscism and especially with coverts you can literally be left abused by the legal system all over again if you don't have a lawyer that really knows how to handle these cases. In the legal arena and divorce and separation agreements you really need to have a lawyer to protect you especially if you have kids. Narscistic abuse survivors need to be heard and know what's best for themselves and their kids. People won't understand the choices you make but it's a reminder that everything about narscism is unnatural and you have to protect yourself and stay strong. The narscistist loves to be in court it is unending supply for them like anything else that depletes the survivor. We always know what is best for ourselves. 💪💪💯
@@christine11347 oh I see what you’re saying! Yes all attention towards the narcissist is supply!!
I realized through the process of healing that most therapists and counselors do not understand what we go through as victims of narcissistic abuse, because they are still stuck at the knowledge phase and have not experienced narcissistic abuse in any way. Add to that the possibility of some of them being narcissistic too, using others' pain and hurt as a form of supply, it makes things worse.
I appreciate your honesty and insight Kevin.. 💯💯🙌🙏☀️😉
Yes, most therapists and medical professionals do have NPD. Our suffering and pain feed their personality disorder.
What I’ve found is, that the most magical thing happens when another person says “I’ve been there, I understand”. There’s not much more that needs to be said, the understanding alone means there is no exhausting process of trying to explain it, again. understanding from another person whose “been there”they have your back, no more needs to be said except, do you take cream and sugar in your coffee😊✅
Wow that’s completely true.. thank you for sharing this beautiful message 💯🙌🙏☀️😊
Name the date/café...
Absolutely 💯 accurate makes all the difference in the 🌍 just knowing your not alone.
sweet
You are so right! No one would ever believe what I have been through except for the people here and you Andrew! Thank God for getting me here! Thank you for being here!
My sentiments exactly❣
Welcome always Donna.. thank you for sharing this beautiful message ☀️🙏🙌💯
God believe you what you went through 🙏🙏🙏
I was awakened that my gift is being an extreme empath. I just didn't know that and I had No boundries at all. Now I need to learn to use my gift correctly.
Yes everyone keeps telling me to stop talking about it and stop making myself a victim! I just stopped talking about it my friends and relatives! Because they would think we are weak and we can’t handle breakups or divorces! But we are not grieving for them we are grieving for ourselves and what we went through! And there is no timeline to heal from it! Being an emotional person, it’s been a year and I am still having thoughts about it! The more emotional and genuine person you are, the more it will take time to heal from it!
I’m actually working through 46 years of narcissistic spousal abuse. I haven’t spoken to anyone about what I went through. It was just an unbelievable nightmare. Thank you Andrew, for being here for me on your channel.
Welcome always 🙏💯🙌☀️
Thank you Andrew for the wisdom you share. Daily dosage of encouragement and assurance and every one that was in a narcissist relationship will heal slowly but surely. Thank you and goodnight to all.
I'm going to call it reality splitting.
I felt like my life was overtaken and my identity in danger of being overturned.
Thankyou for all the insight.
Welcome always Lucky Star.. 💯🙌🙏☀️
That is exactly what it was like, phychogical abuse, a form of brainwashing, smh, it was a battle to say the least
I listened to my body which was breaking out in hives.........hello, wake up, and I did.
Accurate! Doesn’t even seem that it was real.
If you want to tell about your experience, then be 100% sure that person is trustworthy 🙏
Excellent insight 💪💪💯💯
And when we finally get through it we are the strongest people there are.
If that is true, then I guess it'll all be worth it.Maybe. lol
@@dizzyd3670 Strong doesn't always mean happy so I don't know...
Beautiful reply thank you 💯🙌💪💪
@@karmivavirhe Yes I agree fellow narc survivor. I can say after 4 months now of being discarded that I feel better than ever. No contact was the key factor to my healing. I am now starting to date again and I am watching out for red flags. I think having healthy boundaries is going to help me be happy in a relationship.Thanks for the comment 👍🙌❤
This is so true. I've experienced already people close to me sorta losing the initial patience/empathy for me that they had with me a year ago...it's so clear to me that they just think it's a broken relationship like any other. They just cannot possibly know the mind-eff that narcissist abuse is, unless they themselves have experienced it first-hand.
I'm going to be seeing some old friends soon, who I haven't seen in a few years...I've really been stressin over what to say, if asked about my marriage. I know there's no way they could ever possibly understand so I feel dread and discomfort over the possibility of the subject of my marriage/impending divorce coming up when I see them
I understand this.. do what makes you comfortable.. in your time.. you are doing great 💯🙌🙏☀️
Just brush it off, and say it’s all done, and ask them about themselves, people really don’t really want to know, and so just put the focus back on them….relax for yourself and be apathetic about the narc they are not worth your lovely energy..
I had this happen to me this past weekend with a neighbor from down the block. I just said we are no longer together our paths were taking us in different directions. They said oh ok I'm sorry I didn't know and I said thank you it's for the best and then we started talking about something else. No awkwardness, no explanation was needed. I really do think also that people don't really want to know. Enjoy yourself when you go spend time with your old friends and laugh alot it really did help me a few weeks ago.💪🌟😊
Thanks guys; good advice.
Overcomer I know I feel just as you. My brother said to me after three days, it's all done now, move on. I too dread telling people. I understand the feeling.
Thank you so much, dear Andrew! ❤🙏
Welcome ❤️🙌😌
As a therapist who has specialized in narc abuse for the past 25 years (and also a victim of this), I completely agree with Andrew. Many therapists out there haven’t a clue. Further, some actually conduct couples counseling with the narc and victim and this is just never okay - it creates more danger for the victim .
This is so true and sad too. Others might when we explain what we've been through...see us as we have mental issues 😢!
I eventually stopped to explain it to people about what I've been throgh in my 17yrs with my ex Covert Narcissist husband..and took that energy for explaining to them and use that to get deep ...really deep understanding of the whole thing through Google and TH-cam video and i finally made peace to myself that I'm not alone in this.
And im learning more everyday
Thank you much Andrew.
Much Love from Tanzania 🇹🇿🇹🇿
All facts! People think I'm crazy. I remember my ex-husband would ignore me in front of his family but they never noticed.
I experienced this also 💯💯
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone, He knew exactly what he was doing... his family thought we were sooooo happy until I filed for divorce...
Yes, I got the same treatment! Friends and family never knew, and he knew they didn't but that I did. It was as if he received some kind of twisted enjoyment from it.
@@fredajohnson5542 yes they do get sadistic enjoyment from things like this and they know no-one believes you, they are truly demonic, Revelations 12:9-12,
@@naomiwest9622 o
This is so very accurate. I had ONE good friend i could really talk to in detail about what I went thru, but I didnt even go into depth with her about the worst of it. To this day there are a great many people in my life who have no idea what I went thru. I didnt go to a therapist, and I do agree that most of them have no idea what a Narcissist really does to their victims. I sat back and just smiled, went to work, did my daily routines and pondered WHAT just happened to me. It took me 3 years of silence, then hoovering, silence, hoover and so on before I FINALLY started to put a definition to him and his behavior. It has been several years of no contact and there are days I still cant believe it happened to me. That is one reason I started talking about it here, to give myself some clarity and understanding and each story I would talk about, I would remember and work thru it in myself.
Beautiful message of inspiration and fortitude.. thank you for sharing 💯🙌🙏💪😊
I'm so happy to see your subscribers grow daily! You are addressing such an important issue ! I did go to school for this and you are better than a therapist in my opinion. You are real and "get it". Thank you for your time, your insight and for creating this channel!
Welcome Michelle3.. 💯🙌☀️🙏
I also don't tell people about this and what I went through. I just am so tired of being upset about it. I'm also a very private person. You are SO right..its hard to find a good therapist...many of them are simply not "in it for the right reasons".
@@mango5541 Michelle I am a very private person to. I have found though that this channel and community provides me with a safe and supporting place to share my experiences and progress. I hope this channel can provide you with a safe place to connect with other survivors as you continue along your healing path. Know you are never alone and someone is always here for you. God bless you as you continue to move forward. Education and self love and forgiveness is truly the key to moving forward.💪☀️😊🙏
Hi Christine, thank you for your reply. You are so right that I do need to talk about it with people who understand. Andrew is right when he says that a lot of people don't know about narcissistic personally disorder. Plus I am embarrassed about how many times I allowed him to come back into my life before I finally woke up 10 months ago.
@@mango5541 I fully understand mine also had the full blown npd disorder. I took him back more times then I could count also and had so much guilt and shame. Through my healing journey though I realized I always thought I could fix him. I thought if I had him leave he would realize what he had and get better and appreciate it. They aren't fixable and won't change no matter how much we loved them. They are sick and manipulative and vile people. Be kind to yourself and know things get so much better. If you ever want to talk just drop me a comment I definitely get it and am here to help in any way I can. Have a great weekend laugh alot and do something that makes you happy😊
Thank you Andrew. You are so right. Most people don't understand.
I was incredibly fortunate that I met a woman who had been through narcisistic abuse herself, and even though she didn't really know me at that time, she loaned me $3,000, so I could move away. She is still my best friend and helped me immensely at that time, and I reciprocated I her case. This was over 8 years ago now.
On the subject of therapists, early on I went to see a few different ones. As you said, the 3 that were of great benefit at that time,and listened and empathized, had been through it themselves. Bless you 🌹
Andrew you just said it . I learned down the road I had to start processing what I had went through ! I became too embarrassed to even admit what i was going through . I was ashame of myself for allowing some one to drag me through their mess . I didn't know I needed this healing community . I didn't know you were even here 🌻
I appreciate your honesty Candida.. I am grateful you are here 💯🙌☀️🙏😊
Thank you ! Grateful to you and the community ! And NO Contact Urgently No Contact
Yes, they create that wall of shame that you cannot climb over!
So glad to be reading all this. Andrew you’re a life saver. I lost 33 years but as you explained in another video don’t think of it as time lost but as a process I had to go thru to be a better man
I would love to flip a switch and get over it, but its not that simple. Thank you Andrew for your words.
Absolutely! I am trying to heal and release myself from a 3.5 yr Narcissistic relationship. I feel Mentally, Physically, Spiritually, Emotionally exhausted. I'm having a difficult time forgiving myself because I knew this person was actually treating another human so inhumane. I tried my best to not believe that anyone would have such an evil mindset to treat anyone with such behavior. It was almost like when they weren't there in person commiting these horrible things, they were plotting on how to manipulate you next.
My home, twelve year business and two new vehicles were robbed by a family member that I had taken into my home when we met. Needless to say, I was at the lowest, darkest place in my life and the thought of someone intentionally and purposely taking me to an even darker place was the furthest thought in my mind at the time. I thought I had met a Good Samaritan. How stupid of me!
Anyway, I'm still at that place trying to forgive myself for actually putting myself in the position. I'm a young 65 and have been single for almost thirty years. Educated, well traveled, well versed and respectful independent female who never knew that I would meet the Devil in the Flesh in my lifetime. There are times that I feel like I have absolutely lost my mind and pray that I come back to myself better than ever. It's not easy to heal from the unimaginable abuse of a narcissist. Words couldn't tell the story.
Thanks for your vulnerability Linda. Very dark and challenging hell you went through. I was in only 21 months, it's as if it were a nightmare. Peace.
The term narcissist wasn’t in vogue when I was involved with the narc.
I had no knowledge. I thought a narc was someone who was full of themselves.
My therapist thought I was exaggerating about what was taking place. We went through years of me trying to explain my “gut” feelings about the narc. It wasn’t until the divorce and the narc called my therapist in an attempt to get info from him. My therapist called me immediately and apologized. He said he could tell who/what he was simply by the tone of his voice.
This channel is my first experience of validation about what I have gone through. No one else gets it....AND I don’t share about it, either.
Thank you so much Andrew! God bless you and those on this channel! 💝🦋🙏🏻✍🏻📖🌸🌼
My friends & family disliked him because they saw how frazzled I could get. He could be charming & flip into a rage if I was 10 min late…and than smooth it over with some bull $hit. But unless someone has become entangled with one of these “ creatures “ they won’t understand. It’s like PTSD., it takes time to heal.
Absolutely correct thank you for sharing Mother Earth..💯🙌🙏☀️
I agree if you tell someone who hasn't lived it that you are suffering from PTSD especially when you are still in the trauma bond and fog they look at you like your crazy. This abuse is very real. My situation was with an overt one who could turn on the charm if he needed to but it was always very short lived. Stay strong and continue on your healing path. Know PTSD is a very real effect of Narscistic abuse and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. God bless you on your healing path 🙏☀️🕊️
@The Jedi Yes the are. Always remember good always overcomes evil and brings light to the darkness. sending you prayers and peace as you continue on your healing path 🙏🕊️
It is like a form of PTSD ......when you think you feel calm, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, you can feel your body tense up and get anxious. Since leaving three weeks ago, on the rare occasion I manage to drop off asleep, I wake up, in the middle of the night....heart pounding and shaking. I hope this settles down. He has taken everything from me except my soul and faith in God. I'm grateful to be here with you all, on the healing path. I'm truly blessed and thank you Andrew for your messages, insights and encouragement. You are doing a wonderful thing here, using your pain and suffering to educate us. No weapon formed against us will prosper. We are all moving forward, one step and one day at a time, towards true freedom and healing. God bless us all, wherever we are on the healing path.
@@angelacahill9083 It's extremely scary. You're experiencing night time panic attacks. You literally think you are going to die. I experienced them for years. There is a lot of research out there that can provide you information on them. I can share a few tips that helped me. When you wake up stand up immediately. Remind yourself that you are ok and that you are not in danger. Keep a glass of water next to your bed and drink it slowly. Close your eyes and take deep breaths. As your heart rate starts to decrease think of something or a place that makes you happy. Your heart rate will return to normal and you can lay back down. These have helped me. Since the narc left I know that he was the root cause of my anxiety and night time panic attacks. I had a mini one the other night for the first time in 6 months. When you know what they are and that you are not actually having a heart attack or in danger you can control them much better. When mine started coming on the other night I stopped it in its tracks by reminding myself I'm safe. I controlled it in seconds through deep breaths without even getting out of bed. It actually was such an empowering moment having my heart rate return to normal in seconds and knowing that I was in full control of calming my body and mind. It's just a reminder that the only effects of CPTSD are real and we need to learn how to control it so that it doesn't control us. Sending you healing prayers of peace and strength 🙏🕊️💪✨
I’ve never ever told anyone what I went through. Just you & this group. Thank you because it has been GREAT to share . It’s been so liberating. So healthy. So deep . These therapist didn’t learn these behaviors . I was misdiagnosed. My Ex lied to them & they favored the narc. It was a bad experience. I really felt I was abused even greater by a professional & bilked girl it. I paid for my Ex to have charmed & lied to them so they were controlled & manipulated by him . But I am finally healing. Thank you Greatly. It’s time for my walk ❤God bless you
Welcome 😌🙏🙌
He made me feel crazy. And that I was the bar. Smh. Thank you for this video. My therapist doesn't get it that's why I sought help through this group. It helps more for healing and understanding
You need a therapist like Dr. Ramani on you tube. She is an expert in this. th-cam.com/video/4jfRGnG--H4/w-d-xo.html
SURVIVING NARCISSISM WITH DR. CARTER IS ANOTHER GOOD TH-cam CHANNEL TO RECEIVE UNDERSTANDING ABOUT NARCISSISM.
Welcome always Mickalea..💯🙌🙏☀️
For the past 3 years I've been explaining the HELL that I lived through. Thankfully police, family, friends, therapists, psychiatrists believe me, can't fathom it, but believe me. I escaped after 45 years of marriage, quite a few years were 'managable', but the death of my mom was the catalyst for mega abuse/torture. I was No contact from the first week and now have a life time restraining order. I listen to you Andrew every day for my 'fill', THANK YOU.
Welcome..😌😌💜
Just listening to your explanations and hearing what you've been through comforts me more than any expensive therapist with a bunch of head knowledge on the subject, because they have no way to empathize emotionally having never personally experienced this type of abuse. This is a much needed topic that is rarely discussed. I sure needed to hear this and I thank you!
Welcome always Julie 💯🙌🙏☀️
I’ve been though so much others wouldn’t believe it I wouldn’t know where to start I stayed for 24 years with a narcissist I was afraid to leave as he broke me down mentally physically & emotionally I didn’t believe anyone would want me as he told me I was lucky I had him as no one else would put up with me he was so charming others thought we had the perfect family no one knew what went on behind closed doors or when we were out he would treat others better than me he was very jealous & would accuse me of way I dressed acted towards other men if a friend of his made me laugh when he left I would get grief . I could write a book as I took so much broken nose black eyes busted lip & things I couldn’t write here as I had sexual abuse from him . I ended relationship in 2009 but I’m still healing from abuse an suffer with PTSD I’m so glad I found your site your daily messages are so helpful to me & others I really appreciate what you’re saying and sharing thank you so much Namaste 🙏🕉️💚
Thank you for sharing this 😌🙏💯🙌
thank you for this video. My friends and family even attacked me 1. for watching YT about narcissism too much 2. for taking defensive action against my narcissist. I had to cut them all away of my life, perhaps not forever, I end up completely alone and turned to coaches from TH-cam. Writing this for anybody who goes through this, TRUST YOURSELF no matter what.
Exactly 💯🙌🙏💪
Andrew. You know. You really are a gift. God bless you.
So are you Vivian 💯🙌☀️😊☀️
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone 😲🙂❤
Preach to the choir brother. 3 years after being dumped by my wife I am only now beginning to become a normal person again.
Thank you for sharing this..great to hear you are improving 💯🙌🙏☀️
Nine years since my divorce. I wouldn’t begin to open up to anyone. This channel - and prayer - is healing to me.
I am a licensed clinical therapist. And I am not offended in the least. You are 💯 correct that unless a therapist has gone through it before, or gone out of their way to learn the tricks and trades of a narcissist, they won’t get it. I always support getting mental health therapy. But if at all possible, search for therapists that specialize in this area (which is unfortunately extremely low in numbers).
Part of the reason I became a therapist is because I went to one for couples therapy with a malignant narcissist ex. I left feeling very crazy and further gaslit by the therapist that accepted his deluded version of events. I was told I was too involved and concerned about his cheating, which was further pushing him away, and that my trust issues were the main problem. NO JOKE. Sad to say. I wish you all the best in your healing journey, and know that every day you survived, you are healing, and it will get better. Sending you love. 💕
I appreciate your kindness and honesty Su Mo Fu.. thank you ☀️🙏💪💯🙌
I have been alienated by family members and friends... It hurts as bad as the abuse.... I feel even more alone than I did in the relationship. Thankful for your videos.
Welcome 🙏
You are extremely helpful for me. I appreciate that so much! Thank you for being here for us! ❤🙏
Welcome 😌🙌☀️
My experience…Trying to explain it to others ends up feeling similar as when trying to explain things to the narcissist. It’s extremely painful and frustrating. They may even see you as oversensitive and angry, which will trigger you. Instead, I found my own answer with research and reflection. Every day I fit a new piece into the puzzle, Although as time passes I find myself less interested in completing that puzzle. I find peace and strength within me and in this safe channel. I love knowing there’s a new video every day and amazing comments from everyone. You all are my few minutes of normalcy every day. It’s beautiful really. So In my opinion, there’s no value in explaining. That need is a residual side effect of our narc relationship. Try not to expose loved ones to the horror of the battlefield. Keep them healthy, they want to support us.
Thank you for sharing Teshla.. I appreciate your kindness and honesty..💯🙌😊🙏☀️
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone I appreciate you!!
Beautifully put Esh. Yes trying to explain is reminiscent of trying to get through to the Narcissist, it can be frustrating and dispiriting. Talking to people who have experienced it is like finding a safe haven. I have 2 close friends who experienced it and were an absolute lifeline after discard. And I found out some friends had experienced it too after posting a World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day message on Facebook. Their kindness and support was touching and validating. I try to help anyone who is battling with these hellish relationships. It helps you heal. 🕯️❤️
So true, and possibly the most draining part, oh the over thinking. Self love is the only answer 💪✨
This is absolutely true! As I go along the healing path, I find it harder to seek for help. People who know what happened (and believed what I told them) are now less interested compared to when I first opened up to them. It's as if they are implying that it's been months you should be able to do better now because time is the best healer. In no offense to them, I understand why they'd react as such because they don't know any better and also they have their own lives to deal with. I think they have done their best to support me. I just would like to add that sometimes it's also difficult to open up to someone who experienced this kind of abuse because being an empath I think I send triggers whenever I tell them my story, which I fully understand. In the end I end up supporting them and setting aside my feelings. :D This goes to show that ONLY YOU can help yourself in your healing path, and you are correct just stay focus on healing and do your best each and everyday. It's not easy but with patience I know we all can go through this. I am also a believer of a divine power as I am a Catholic ( I’m not suggesting that everyone needs to believe in one though) and I find it helpful to talk to God in prayers. Probably more like meditation.
I appreciate your honesty and sharing eneliva.. sincerely..💯🙌💪☀️
I get exactly what your saying 💯. Let your faith guide you and honestly you will never feel alone ever again knowing their is something divine in your healing path. Thank you so much for sharing. This is a true reminder to me that what we all experience is very REAL along our journey. Do not fear things that can't be explained and continue on your own personal healing path and embrace wherever it takes you. If you are blessed enough to experience that then your ability to heal will reach a whole different level. Continue to heal yourself from within every day. Things do get brighter. God bless you and your beautiful faith. 💯🙏💪🕊️🌟😇🌄💯
@@christine11347 Thank you for your words of encouragement. It feels great to know that though we are on a different healing journeys, there are people who cheer and celebrate small wins with us. God bless you!
@@eneliva God bless you also thank you for your kind words they definitely made me 😊 Every Sunday the priest in my parish starts his homily "God is good everyday. Everyday God is good" I love that because when you have faith it such a blessing a lot of people don't have or understand. We are very blessed and I hope your faith continues to guide you on your healing path. You are never alone whenever you need to just drop a comment. Have a very Merry and Blessed Christmas 💯🎄✝️🕊️🙏🕯️☀️
I DO feel like I have a super power now having gone through (and healed) from marital narcissistic abuse. I have knowledge and information that the non-abused do not (and won't get without paying the price that abused victims have). I used my super power to show another narcissist girlfriend the front door, never to contact her again, refusing to respond to her hoovers for years, knowing my silence was unraveling her false world. The old saying "What you survive only makes you stronger" is true. We narc victims survived and we now have a super power most people do not understand.
Thank you for sharing this 🙏💯🙌
So grateful to you and people on here . I swear worse thing I been through . ♥️.
Sending prayers and positive energy to you Julie 🙌💯🙏☀️
You do really understand this journey...we shall overcome
🙏🙌💪
One of the cruelest aspects of narcissistic abuse, after discard, is the realization that the isolation hasn't ended but has in fact been cemented into your reality and experience. Trying to explain your experience to anyone can sound like you are bitter, petty and quite frankly crazy. You must though find someone to talk to. I know this is easier said than done. It took me over a year to find someone who understood what I was trying to articulate regarding what I had experienced. They too are a survivor. It's been over two years now since I was discarded and whilst I still have bad days they are becoming less frequent and brief in duration. When I can't talk with someone ie, at work for instance, I listen to Andy, Narc con, Narc chronicles etc, etc for understanding, strength and ultimately peace. Things do get better and personally as my inner strength and confidence grows the future no longer frightens me.
Keep up the good work Andy. We are not alone
Thank you for sharing this insight Amor Fati.. I appreciate your honesty and kindness 💯🙌🙏☀️
Yes. I’ve tried for years and people either don’t want to hear it or ignore or they turn things around and make it seem like you the problem. I still deal with them today.
Thank you for sharing this 🙌💯💯
My therapist, her ex of 20 years is a narcissist. I lucked out to have her. Remember, narcissist are shape shifters. The love you had was just molded to us, it wasn't real. But I know my friends and family did not like her at all. All have listened but for the most part don't get it! I have someone new in my life and she can't believe the horror I went thru. But I'm truly blessed because she's known others who have gone thru the same thing. Life is peaceful and tranquil right now. I couldn't have gotten here, if it wasn't for groups like this.
Thank you for sharing this insight Stephen..💯🙌🙏☀️💪
Wow. I just found your channel. Thx u. I’m just pulling out of the spiderweb. It’s so refreshing to watch each and every one of your videos. I feel you hit everything dead on the nail. U are 100% correct, ppl all around you absolutely do not understand the gravity of the abuse u experienced under the spell of a true narcissist …and many times just dismiss u, certainly do not understand, and will even think less of who u are bc you fell prey to such an individual. It’s not their fault but it’s really disheartening when u reach out for help and find that most ppl don’t understand how incredibly hurt and damaged your soul is.. Thank you for your wisdom.
You are so right.... I tried to explain to my best friend without any success. In fact, I felt that it was a waste of time and surely did not have the insight nor the ability to really understand. I felt somewhat "isolated " and frustrated with the fact that my closest friends were not able to really grasp what I went through. The remark "we can't believe it, "it can not be true" became such frustration that I gave up to make them understand what was hidden behind the mask and what I endured behind closed doors. Nevertheless, I focused on myself and started to educate myself (mostly from your teachings) and achieved exceptional 👌 peace within myself that I'm the only one who can help myself and really understand what I went through. So, gaining insight and educating myself on this topic is, in my opinion, is enough to heal step by step. I don't need to explain to any person who I know who will not understand what I went through. The most important thing for me now ,10 months out of the extremely abusive and toxic relationship, is to rather focus on my life going forward and find my place in a healthy society again. Andrew, thank you for your teachings. It means the world to me. Namaste and God bless 🙌 🙏 ❤️
No one will understand unless they’ve been thru the fire. Thank you Andrew You’ve helped us more than you’ll ever know
🙌🙏😌
Therapy is tricky.I've walked out the door shaking my head feeling like,f-this.When your in a place where your on your own and the only person that you can trust is yourself you just have to hold on.Try to keep it simple and hold on.I've reached a point where I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.Blissful indifference and a smile on my face...
Thank you for sharing Craig 💯💯🙌💪
You are right, people just don't get it. I kept being told "get over it".
I understand completely.. 💯🙌🙏.. I do
I saw the face of the narcissist change shape , it was often prior to an attack and was way beyond a micro expression , it was a totally different face that would appear , truly horrific . It’s as if they know that no one will believe us when we attempt to explain the utter hellish madness that is within them
😌🙌😉💯
I made a conscious decision to stop talking to a close friend that me and the narc shared. He definitely agreed with me that the narc treated me badly (he was there and seen it with his own eyes a lot of the times). After the breakup i would confide in him until he said “get over it, because he is over you”….thats when it hit me that i was being invalidated again (even if it was not intentional). So i decided to stop talking to him. I am on my healing journey and in a much better place. Thank you Andrew for this channel and for other content creators for making a safe space for us narc abuse victims. Blessings.
Welcome always 💯🙌🙏😊
Talking about the crazy antics of a narcissistic person, simply looks crazy to people who haven’t encountered pure evil. They are just that, evil. We need to document everything, texts , voice messages any and everything. You never know when you’re going to need proof.Peace and blessings to everyone 🙏
I appreciate you sharing this Epiphany 💯🙌🙏🙌
This resonates so much
Just having the red pill moment of realization that I have major narcissistic abuse issues from my family. Just turned 35 and realize what this did to me. And what this did to my family. Both parents were narcissists. I was closer to my dad. My brother was attached more to my mom.
Now my brother isn’t close to my mom. I’m not close to my dad. Due to so many of the narcs tools from the respective parents. And my brother and I don’t talk at all hardly due to the Golden child/scapegoat toxic sibling rivalry. Very sad. But very eye opening. Narcissism DESTROYS families. I am a case study.
Perfectly on time, Andrew. I was realising just this exact thing yesterday night while talking to my flatmate: nobody that hasn't passed through the fire will understand fully. The majority of people has the cliche of the narcissist guy in mind when you talk to them about narcissism and what you went through. How could we blame these people? They are just like us, before the abuse.
Once more, one needs to make distinction among people who haven't experienced narc abuse and, among them, people that love and believe us and that are ready to support us even if they don't understand everything we went through. But these are few, if one's very lucky.
Personally, that's the reason why I changed my therapist (who followed me and the n. and didn't have an education specifically on narc abuse) for one that is specialised on this subject: the work is so much more effective, and honestly, having this kind of therapist can prevent you , in time, to go around explaining friends and relatives why the hell you just escaped was really an hell (and not being understood, at all), and save some energy, in the end.
If the "average" man or woman doesn't get it, it's because either wasn't educated or have not lived it. Yes, on the healing path we're growing a superpower. That can really save many people from hell on earth.
Thank you very much, Andrew for your work and thank you to all the people in this community ❤🙏💪
Thank you for sharing this insight lindyska...💯🙌🙏☀️
This is so true and ones that have not think this can't be true you learn to be quiet 🤫
😉🙌💯
Hi Andrew, thanks so much for this great Video :* sometimes i get moments who i think i am going crazy and all feels like fog in my head. So your help here is so great and we all empaths feel at Home in your Channel. Thanks so much for your Time and Love in this Channel
Thank you Na ty.. I appreciate your honesty and kindness 🙌💯😊☀️
I totally agree with you. While healing we must be patient and trust our feelings, we know what we have been through and it is vital to get our power and confidence back and not Let anybody invalidate or minimize our experiences. As victims of narcisistic abuse we have been conditioned and trained not to respect ourselves and our perception and experiences as valid and true because we have the right to feel what we feel and nobody is entitled to invalidate it.
Thank you for this it is so true, I don’t bother telling people who don’t understand it’s too complex to explain. But I’m in a place that I’m so grateful to be out of the entanglement, I’m free, I wish I had known that one day I would be so grateful to have been set free from that prison, it’s fantastic! Still have emotional flashbacks, less and less now, but I understand how to deal with them now, and I couldn’t care less, I’m done already! Keep doing what you are doing this information literally saves lives.
I appreciate your kindness and honesty.. thank you for sharing Grainne..🙌💯☀️🙏
I feel exactly the same way! I dont bother to tell anyone either.Lol. It sounds to crazy for most people to understand.
This is a hard journey ....and I loved him so much ....
I was actually judged hard by a PHD therapist when trying to work on addressing my situation and when trying to find a way to heal from the relationship I had with the former narcissist my life. My friends I also felt judged by except by one who experienced abuse by a narcissist also. The only people who get me are people like yourself and others I’ve found online somehow. Thank you.
Welcome 🙏
I had counselling and the counsellor judged me so this resonates. I thought they were supposed to be neutral and to help. It did more harm than good 😞.
Yes, its so easy to sound crazy when trying to express what happened! Be careful, or other people may look askance at you, and we are too vulnerable right now to have to deal with that, too. Find someone you really, really trust - someone with a proven good heart - to talk to if you need to talk.
I understand completely A..💯🙌🙌
I really admire your presentation and style in talking about this subject, you are calm, rational and balanced. A great deal of channels aren't, and that can sometimes hold us back from our healing, we turn away, we switch off. But your approach is just right Andrew, so easy to listen to and take in the common sense and sensitive advice you impart. Keep doing it you're inspiring. Thank you from UK 💜🇬🇧💜💪💪🥰
Thank you Amanda..🇬🇧 🇨🇷💯🙌
Every video I watch, helps to unpack the damage they do to a person...
It's hard to accept he never loved me and just was using me...everything you say fits this man!
No one would believe me they would tell me he’s so nice and charming. I give up explaining the way he treated me!
I understand Melinda.. I do.. 💯🙌💯
Yes "nice and charming". That's the lure. Eyes wide open now. No contact.
Well delivered and all he is trying to say is that you need to take responsibility of your physical,emotional,mental well being. Take charge of your life, how you feel and live in it.
🙏🙌
The only one who truly understands what I have been through is my twin sister. She has been my strength when I was on the verge of a break down. Thank God for giving me a twin.
This is so fortunate 💯💯
Yes stay close to her and God both of you.
I can relate to you. I also have a twin and she’s been through a similar situation. I’m thankful for my twin.
@@daniellemcmaster965 Me too.
Being a twin should be special. Unfortunately, my twin sister is a toxic narcissist. My parents took her for counseling, but years later my mother revealed that my sister manipulated all of them. Back then, in the 1970s, no one talked about narcissists. I didn’t learn about them until I almost married one. That was when I also realized who and what my sister was. I didn’t block her completely until a few years ago. When I did, I moved, but my stepsister told my twin where I was. The only reason I told my stepsister was because she needed to mail me things when my father passed. I hope to move again by the end of the year. I worry that my adult child is inadvertently a flying monkey as he has contact with my evil twin’s husband occasionally… not sure what to do about that as brother-in-law never protected me from my sister even when he witnessed her abuse. The only person who gets what happened is my cousin, but she moved to the other side of the country recently. However, I still have her as a trusted person that I can talk to, so I am grateful for that.
You're so Right Andrew!!!!!!!! 100% 😔😢😣
😉😉💯
This path is a life style Now! Someone that has not experienced it will not understand! 👩🦰🙏
Completely true 💯🙌🙏☀️
Carol I love this comment because the other day my family members were talking and saying don't worry my new found sense of joy and positivity is just a phase. I just laughed and thought it's not a phase. Now you just gave me the word to explain it your absolutely right the healing path is a Lifestyle and when you choose to educate yourself, appreciate all life has to offer and keep working on keeping the past in the past and living in the present then its a really great lifestyle to live. Thanks for making me smile this morning have a great day. 💪🙏☀️😊🌟
@@christine11347 They sound narcissistic. Narcissists hate our happiness I think.
I agree with your view on therapists Andrew. I have learned so much on TH-cam, especially people who have walked the walk.
Thank you Blue Moon..💯🙌🙏
Crapy childhood fairy is good too
The gaslighting and rage & child fits omg 😢 you have to keep fighting keep going
🙏🙌😌
Great advice. Thank you Andrew. Your videos help a lot. They provide a safe space to learn, reflect and heal 🤗🙏
Thank you Mer..💯🙌🙏☀️
Andrew, your a beautiful soul 100% I'm listening.
Thank you Craig 💯🙌☀️🙏
Thankfully it's over geez. About time I had to put a full stop to this crap. Thanks for the video 🌸
Welcome 🙏 🙌💯
Because narcs can be so completely different in their tactics, my last bf really threw me. I was watching videos on narcissism and he didn't fit any of the descriptions until I started listening to a narc on TH-cam. People who haven't lived it, do not get it. It's almost like a club...you either know or you don't. And unfortunately, the healing process took quite a while. As to therapy, if you're attracting narcs, there's something inside that needs to be healed and I'm not convinced a therapist can do that. As stated in the video, most therapists just don't get narcissism. Great video!
Thank you Rachel 💯🙌☀️🙏
Also a good therapist can pick up on the abuse and make sure the focus is on your healing.
Yes healing is the path 💯💯
Andrew I agree that no one however educated, can understand what we have gone through, unless they have walked through the fire , it cannot be explained ,The feeling is taking blow by blow of extreme hatred. It is felt but not easily seen! That’s why we think we were crazy. Thank God we have these videos to explain our truth.
Thank you Donna 🙏💯🙏💯
Absolutely! 11 years ago was one of my worst out of 2 in my life. Trying to explain what I was going through and having no idea what it was at the time was very frustrating to say the least.
You’re absolutely correct! Unless people have been through it they have absolutely no idea what it is like and seem to think that it’s easy to get over and question why you go back so many times.
We are grateful for people like you. Keep up the good fight!
Yes Susan 🙏💯🙌
Spot on! The best narcissistic channel on you tube by far! 45 years is hell. No one has helped. Thank you, Andrew
Welcome always 🙏💯🙌☀️😊
Wow ... just Wow. I've experienced this "deer in the headlights" look from close friends and family who are incapable of grasping what the last 7 years of my life looked like!
And kudos to you, Andrew, for calling out the incompetency of therapists who are C.l.u.e.l.e.s.s. 😮💨 I keep coming back to your channel for truth. Thank you
Thanks for sharing🙏🙌☀️
Thanks, Andrew! 👍🏼 Precisely! 👍🏼
Yes 🙌
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone 🙏
Glad you did this topic. My 2 BFs were good listeners but I realized they weren't understanding the real issue and I was sounding like a broken record, and another good friend (confidante) asked how I could be so stupid. So I, also, did tons of research and stuck to online communities, and journaling. You're great Andrew - thank you.
You are welcome Alma.. thank you for sharing this insight.. continue to become educated and empowered 💯🙌🙏☀️😊
My confedant said just let it go. Oh let go if the lies and cheating I experienced? No understanding, so I just stopped communicating any feelings.
I completely agree with you Andrew
Do not try to explain it to anyone, I know we all need a little support 🙏 But unfortunately very few people will understand 🙏 love and light for you all 🙏❤️🙏
Thank you Grande..💯🙌🙏☀️
It is a lonely path and its true that you have to get your head around it before sharing. People dont get it but its good to have one or two people who you can speak to now and again. Most of the time you do this work alone and you get to trust yourself and the process. You get stronger and stronger with the help of channels like this - thank you Andrew.
Welcome 🙌😌🙏💯
Hey there, one of my best friends yelled at me when I tried to explain. My feelings are that I want to continue to communicate with you and others that are in healing because we are the only ones who understand. I was told that I was paranoid. No chance, my feelings and what is and was happening is real. Thank you again for your help. 🤗
Welcome Ali always 🙌☀️🙏😊
Ali, one person told me I was being "negative and obsessing". Another told me to "move on". They don't get it. Still healing. It's called "soul rape" for a reason. We get it. We've been there. We know what happened. Best wishes.
@@isabellcaputo954 is a good example of someone not being able to relate. I went through a emergency landing when we were told that the landing gear lights were malfunctioning, we had no idea what was going to happen. Telling the story could make someone wonder but unless you have been through it they don’t know how you felt and the other experience of preparing for something like that. I’ve never had my knees knock like they did but that was another experience that my body reacted to. I think it’s better for us to be the person to understand and be able to communicate with and help someone else going through the situation. I don’t always like to be a talker, it is so important to stop your own actions so that you can let the other person know you are truly listening to what they are saying and in doing that it’s amazing how they react when they are being heard instead of not validating their feelings. 🤗🥰
@@isabellcaputo954 and it's soul rape across the board, but really it's wicked spirit that used humans to harm us that they inhabited without our knowledge, Revelations 12:9-12
Extremely "spot on" on every point!
Thank you 🙏💯🙌
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone You're most welcome - just stating the truth, based on my real-life experiences!
Its taken me over 15 yrs to actually gain balance and insight to put it in order. I wouldn’t even try to explain to people .I realised that right from the beginning. Its so complex and traumatic ..Talk ,reflect ,but realise its not to be shared with everybody
I appreciate your insight BTL.. thank you for sharing this 🙏☀️🙌💯
Thanks for sharing. Bless you!💖 love your videos, priceless educations.
Welcome 🙏 💯😊
HI ANDREW. HOPE YOUR DAY IS GOING WELL. THANKS FOR YOUR VIDEO TODAY.
I DON'T THINK WE CAN EXPLAIN TO OTHERS WHAT WE WENT THROUGH. ONLY SOMEONE WHO KNOWS IT UNDERSTANDS. WE ARE THE BEST AUTHORITY ABOUT OUR EXPERIENCE WITH NARCISSISM. I GAVE MYSELF CLOSURE. THE BEST THINGS THAT HELPED ME WERE THE NARC KNOWLEDGE I GAINED FROM TH-cam VIDEOS & PEOPLE'S COMMENTS, ETC. ALSO WHAT HELPED ME WAS WRITING ALL MY FEELINGS AND EXPERIENCE IN A JOURNAL, READING BOOKS ABOUT SELF ESTEEM AND PEOPLE PLEASING. WE ARE A YEARS-LONG PROJECT IN THE MAKING.0
Thank you for sharing this Tree Lover 💯🙌💪☀️🙏
Andrew, your points are absolutely spot on about experiencing a narcissistic relationship . He died last year and I moved back into the house in which we raised our children before I left him. We lived together 31 years. Now, I am bombarded with those years of memories of abuse which happened in this house. Most of the time I hold it in and cry, or write poetry about it. The last time I read a poem to a family member, she said I needed therapy because the poem was "dark." When I would speak to my friend who had similar experiences she would "top" my story every time leaving me frustrated because she would turn it into her own issues. We both needed a type of listener who could offer healing, expertise and validation. As you stated, the emotional pain runs deep and I just don't know who will listen with the type of understanding I need. I love your advise and videos, however, you have amazing insight and a beautiful spirit..
Thank you Freda.. I can relate to all of this.. you are amazing and doing great.. sincerely..🙌☀️🙏💯😊💪
God listens and He cares.
😊🙏❤️