***Families, Friends, and Partners of Current or Former Struggling Addicts PLEASE Read* First off, I never could've predicted such an amazing outpour of support in which I am receiving from this video. I posted a more in-depth thank you on instagram (@taylorndean) if you'd like to hear more of what I have to say. I truly cannot thank you all for being so open minded and kind enough, I love you guys so much, thank you for being a part of my healing. Secondly, IF YOU HAVE LOVED ONES STRUGGLING WITH ADDICTION/ALCOHOLISM: PLEASE consider going to Al-Anon! This is a free, fully anonymous program for NON ADDICTS affected by the disease. Basically, if a toll is being taken on your life in any way due to a struggling addict in your life (Rather it be your partner, brother, sister, mom, grandpa, friend, etc) this program is made for you. It's a place you can go that helps you heal from any pain, let go of any resentments, gain knowledge about why things have happened in your relationship with the addict, etc. It is not a place for addicts, but a place for the loved ones of addicts. This place does not work around making a victim out of the addict. You do not even have to have the addict in your life currently or ever again to truly benefit from this program. These meetings are always locally run, and some flow better than others based on your personality. I'd highly suggest googling Al-Anon meetings in your area and attending one, and if you don't like it, try another one the next time you're free. I have heard nothing but amazing comments from people who have attended. It truly helps you understand what is happening in the addicts brain, and provides you with a safe understanding environment to share and heal. And if you have been affected by an addict, you absolutely deserve clarity and to heal.
mauracat as if the story she told about her struggle with addiction didn’t convey the message enough?? She’s obviously trying to show people the dangers of drugs and abusive relationships by sharing her own experiences while also reaching out to her audience. Taylor, please don’t let the negative comments get to you. You are so strong for getting through this, thank you for sharing your story. We’re all very proud of you for getting better ❤️
I am an addict... Coke and alcohol, mostly. 60 days clean here. Hard af but I'm trying. Edit: november 26th. Still clean and sober. Edit2: december 18th. Doing good. :) Thanks everyone for the support
I’m leaving my fiancée tonight. You have given me strength. I found needles in his room, he’s been an addict for 8 years. While with me he’s been on methadone. He’s lied. Cheated. Abused me. I needed this strength. I’m scared of him. EDIT: for everyone whose commented, nearly a year later my life is wonderful, I’ve met another man, I’ve a new job, sure I think of all the pain and makes me incredibly sad and angry but I have never looked back! Xxx
Brian B I never got told that people were proud of me as a kid or teen, I don’t know your story but you still deserve to hear it too... IM SO FREAKING PROUD OF YOU
Been addicted to xanax for about a year now. Im on it right now. I finally told my family about it yesterday & im going to get help. Pray for me this shit is awful. Ive been having seizures & shit. Drugs are the fucking devil. Im sure every addict never thought they would be in this position... congrats to everyone who got off drugs. I love you all sm ❤❤❤
@@ashleigh18v maybe to begin with but if you take her out of the equation Taylor would not be sober today so I'm pretty sure she's no longer considered an enabler
I mean...if you know who this is about, it's not a shocker hes had bandmates leave. Wouldn't not be the first time. And hes deep into his addiction already again.
My dad has been an addict since before I was born, and I used to blame myself for the lack of love that he gave me, but after hearing your story, I understand that as a little kid I did nothing wrong. My dad was just wired differently. There is nothing I could have done better. Hearing your story felt like a nice warm blanket over my inner child. You really comforted her. Thank Taylor, thank you for helping. Everything makes sense now.
addiction is so hard, but it’s a personal struggle. nothing you have done or will do is responsible for his problems and nothing you have done or will do can fix them either, i’m wishing the best for you and your family. it’s a hard thing to work through. but it’s definitely not your fault ❤
Niki The Snake Lady Best advice I’ve seen on here. If your serious about getting clean, give yourself a serious start over and get rid of anything tied to your old lifestyle. You deserve the best chance at success and sobriety.
Exactly. Let them all go, they will try to drag you back down and make you feel bad for getting better, guilt you. I stopped following you for a time, Taylor(if you even see this), but I'm so happy to see that you've made these steps. I don't know how the mental and emotional journey went, how it got here, but it took your willpower and strength in the end. And I'm rooting for you! I think you've got this, and everyone wanted to see you get healthier. Even if there's kindness in you that tries to forgive these people, or tries to give them second chances, or hear them out, ignore it and just shut them out because most hardcore addicts, especially your dealers, don't want to see you get better because for other addicts who don't care anymore, they get jealous and angry at your success and obviously, the dealers want your money. And nothing else. They just want to use you
@ari clips she has an alt right boyfriend that isolates the shit out of her. She almost left him, he got her back, isolated her even more, we tried to reach out to her and help and she told us we were bad friends and moved away
Having alcoholic parents, my heart broke when you mentioned "better in the morning" because that was my entire childhood. I just wanted them to fall asleep or take a shower because they always seemed better after.
@@enhydralutris9547 I never feared them actually! They weren't violent drunks, more so they checked out and were incapable of caring for themselves or us. The only true scary thing I guess is going to your parent and getting a blank look in response. My sister and I were lucky in that regard I guess.
Same here. Not knowing which side of the parent you're going to get. Learning how to stay quiet and try to be invisible. Then again, mine became extremely abusive when drunk. I remember a time before one parent got so badly addicted to it and became full blown alcoholic, I remember the day that I realized that they only hugged me and said they loved me was when they were drunk. That realization alone hurt. It still does honestly. I'm absolutely terrified of drunk men though, and I always have been as long as I can remember, but I couldn't ever tell anyone exactly why it even pinpoint it myself. I'm pretty sure it stems from something that had to have happened when I was a toddler. I do remember bits and pieces, naturally, but not much beyond much much older grown men, friends of my dad's, and how eventually my mom wouldn't let me go down to the hangout spot (a small country store within walking distance from our house at the time) with my dad anymore. I don't think I was abused, or rather I truly hope that isnt the case, I was much too young to be able to remember much, but I hope that would be something I wouldnt forget. But it got to where I would scream and cry every time I saw them. So...🤷♀️ who knows.. anyone with any active addiction to anything, be it alcohol or drugs, have absolutely NO business around children. NONE.
I was here when this video came up and I watch this about once a year. It's weird that this is my comfort video but it's because I feel for you so much and it warms my heart to know you're constantly getting better.
Bless the drummer for taking a stance the way he did, bless your assistant for her compassion, and bless your mom for her unrelenting determination. I can't imagine how tough it was to publish this, but just know you are worthy and have always been. Stay healthy and safe
I recognize this girl. I'm not saying "this is the good old Taylor!" because it's not, you'll never be that girl again, and as lovely as she was that's ok, because the Taylor here is wiser, and stronger, and loves herself more, the Taylor I see now is the Taylor I missed _and_ so much more. Sending you all my love and support for your sobriety, you've got this dude. Welcome back
I always come here (to the video, through the comment section) when i’m in a really, really, reaally bad place because it helps me knowing that i am not alone. So THANK YOU, Taylor. And THANK YOU to everyone from the comments who opened up about their stories.
That’s awesome! You’re definitely not alone. We all struggle and fall short. But to maintain a healthy happy disposition and heal our bodies is the main focus. And always remember there is so much more you can do and have healthy addictions 😂Lolol like chips or running or buying a bunch of reptiles Lolol 😂 I hope you’re doing well!
Keep it up because this what we are supposed to do as responsible adults. I don't ever congratulate anyone in recovery, that just feeds the ego which needs no supplemental input! Well, that's how I was taught, humility comes first, we only tell others of our milestones to give the newcomer hope. BTW Hope=Hearing Other Peoples Experiences
Thankyou bro. I got to a point we’re I didn’t think I would ever be free and thought that death was my only option. But thanks to my belief in Jesus and my families help and my son Callum and my pastor who came to me in my flat back then, I found strength I didn’t know was there. Some most heroin addicts don’t make it. I’ve lost so many friends cos of it and I believe they are at rest now. I’m living my life now to help whoever wants to be free.
@Peter Kropotkin I do not disagree with you, it is a sad and desperate conduct indeed; however, not everyone can just choose being alone over having toxic company, and that's a fact. It's not something to shame them about tho, it's just really.. Well, sad.
Peter Kropotkin no one told you to watch this vid. It’s people like you that criticize her that got her into this that made her feel like she wasn’t good enough for anyone and just wanted someone to love her. Makes no sense to leave nasty comments, It doesnt effect you at all so why don’t you leave this girl that’s clearly in a weak state and needs only support the fuck alone. Thank you.
Hi Taylor I just wanna say that you have completely showed me how addicting drugs are. You’ve saved me, a young 17 year old, from ever taking drugs. I know you don’t upload anymore but just know by making this video you have educated me better than schools have. And I will never ever touch drugs. My father died from liver cirrhosis due to excessive alcohol intake and it scarred me. Drugs can only hurt people. Thank you and you made me cry.
I was addicted to heroin for 8 years ..moved away cut off my family ..proud to say im 5 years clean now got my own car apartment etc...drug life is the hardest thing ever...but sober life is a amazingly awesome gift congrats to sober life
I was an addict to o was addicted to heroin and meth and pretty much anythg else I could get my hands on. Im 5yr sober (6-13-14).... Its NOT easy at all I have to stay away from all the idiots that called themselves ur friends but used u for a ride or to get them high. I'm moved cities and no longer hang out with anyone except my 4kids and theyre ALL I need. They're my world now, NOT the dope.... So say nope to the dope and live ur bestest lives everrrr y'all. I love u all and If u need a friend hmu.... Thanks.... And btw Taylor ur looking good so keep it up boo....
I'm so sorry for your loss! To many lives have been lost and there's not enough being done, I'm still hopeful though. So proud of you! 5yrs clean for me and if you ever need an ear! 😘
Would it be fair to say that without your Fiancé's untimely passing, you wouldnt have got clean (at least not at that time)? Or (knock on wood/God forbid), had roles been reversed theres every chance that both of you may be gone now. I realise that addicts are alive but they generally dont have any kind of life. So in a way it was your fiancé that gave you the gift of life. Sorry if that was a rambling random comment. Hope you're doing well and good now and may your Fiancé rest in peace.
Not that anyone cares, but I have around 8 years of not relapsing on bulimia, I know it’s a completely different story, but we all have battles, please do not give up sweetheart!
This is the first time I'm hearing about Al-Anon in my entire life. My mom was an addict who committed suicide. I found her. I've spent 8 years struggling with the understanding of her addiction. You just shared such an important and life altering resource for me. Thank you.
Steve Hunt I hope you’ll reach out and get yourself clean and healthy ASAP... good luck man. It’s really not worth it to use but you know that already. ✌🏼
@Steve Hunt i hope you'll get yourself clean soon!! U can do it. Also i wish for u, your wife(?) and your children to be always healthy and safe. Stay strong
It’s not evil, it’s a disease... think that just because you wouldn’t do it doesn’t mean others addiction wouldn’t take them to those darker places. I understand it’s crazy and does look “evil” but that’s simply the level of addiction he had :/
Milagros, I don't think you understand. She never said addiction was evil, she said sharing that with others or introducing that to others when you KNOW it's wrong is evil. And it is evil.
@@laur-unstagenameactuallyca1587 I did understand, what I think you are not considering is that a person going through a disease like addiction is clearly not in their right mind to discern such thing. Of course he might understand it's not ok, which I agree, for sure is not, but the fact that he does it anyway does not necessarily make him EVIL, just shows a level of sickness. Of course some might have to do with his personality as well. That was my point :)
I had an abusive ex who forced me onto cocaine, meth, acid, and a bunch of other pills and hearing someone I trust and love talking about their experience has helped me and feel so much better about my experience . I love you.
I had an ex who introduced drugs to me and also became abusive. I’m over 4 years clean from heroin now, and engaged to someone who truly values my sobriety and respects the person I am. Thank you for sharing your story, I know it’s not easy but you’re helping people!
Congratulations, this is not an uncommon thing unfortunately. I'm glad you were able to overcome it! When I was in 9th grade my best friends sister had passed from heroin just about a year or so after her boyfriend got her hooked..
My sister is a heroin addict of 17 years. I’ve known her longer as an addict than when she wasn’t. She just relapsed after two years clean and went back to her ex. I never understood why she couldn’t stop and I was so angry with her. This video really helped me see the other side of addiction and understand what she may be going through. Thank you and I’m so proud of you for being clean and sharing your story ❤️
For the first time ever, the girl I watched in todays video appeared confident, sure of who she was, and although went through the heaviest of situations, had more hope and life in her eyes. I am so proud of you!
I lost my boyfriend June 22nd to a fentanyl laced heroin overdose, after almost two years sober. Watching your recovery is helping me cope with the loss. Please continue sharing your story, you WILL save lives!!!
Would love to talk to you about how you’re coping. I lost my girlfriend November 21st 2017 to a drug overdose. Please reach out to me on Instagram at gwenyeager
I lost my brother a year and a half ago due to a heroin overdose also after nearly two years sober. It was a traumatic time and I would suggest to get help early. I never felt so alone and I never got help. It will get easier, trust me
Yeahhh Boii I’m sorry for your loss too. My boyfriend lost his sister in 2015, and it took him a long time to start healing too. He was very resistant to talking about it. I wish I had known about grief counseling back then. I know a lot about addiction & recovery, but I was not equipped to help someone cope with grief back then. I learned a lot, but I wish he didn’t hurt so deeply for as long as he did.
I saw your interview on VICE. I came her to see more. I just wanted to say thank you for doing the interview. I’ve never taken any drugs in my life, but homeless drug addicts in my neighborhood is common. I always wondered how do these people get addicted in the first place? What was that turning point? What kind of life did they have before drugs? Your interview shed some light to my questions.
I have never tried hard drugs in my life! I waited until 20 to try weed but never was addicted. And I tried a hard drug for the first time at 27 and got a little bit addicted there for awhile. I just tried it once for a fun night and because my lover did it and struggled BAD w it. I felt safe and all of sudden started craving it and craving the high. It kinda creeps up on you. But luckily, I was strong enough to have the sense to just be like NOPE this is not me. And once I put my mind to something I do it. Some ppl can’t. Some just mentally can’t do it as well as physically and the mental part is the worst part of it because that what makes or breaks you or what keeps you stuck. Most ppl can’t help themselves and can’t think themselves out of it and know they are worth it. And struggle and keep doing it. It’s so sad. I always said I would NEVER do that kinda stuff because my mom is a severe addict and struggles w bipolar and depression and I had to live w such a messy home life. But sometimes it just happens under the lightest weirdest circumstances. I still don’t get it and I’ve been around it, lived w it and experienced it. But everyone can change. I hope you have a good day!
He manipulated you. He wanted you addicted so he could do it without you trying to stop him. He had no intention of stopping. Some people want to, some don't. Stay clean please, you're worth it. ❤
I'm Baby my ex tried to get me to do meth with him. if the relationship lasted any longer I’m sure I would have caved. he blamed me for not making him stop the first 3 months of our relationship and told me it was my responsibility to help him. as far as I’m aware, the last time he used in our relationship was when he shot up in front of me on his dead dads birthday. then he blamed me for not being strong enough to stop him. then offered me some since I’d never been around him with the drugs, just with him after he got high. scary stuff.
Sometimes it's not even that they don't want to stop. Sometimes its just so powerful to the point where you will do anything for it, and it's like you want to stop but you also don't because your body is so addicted to it that you do want to stop but you also dont.
@@alilih3652 agreed, my uncle has sobered up several times but sometimes relapses. He's officially sober right now for about 5 months. He once got two years and it was great but because he still had friends and a wife who were addicts he would eventually fall back into it. He's recently cut out all addicts in his life.
No he didn't. He behaved in a way that is absolutely expected from a drug addict. This video is an hour of her blaming another person for a decision making process that can only be described as sick. She is addicted to being needed, to taking care of things. Getting hooked on heroin was merely a biproduct of her underlying pathology. She needs to get rid of all of get animals and get into extensive psychotherapy to overcome this compulsion to take care of things. She needs to be able to be happy without being needed.
Please don’t ever delete this. This is such an important video, thank you for being so raw. This shows how influential an abusive relationship can be and how people end up in these dark places. Praying for you to keep up your recovery. You’re amazing.
It's sad watching her relapse one more time and having contact with Jonny once again... I know it's part of the process but God, I wish she finds the right path just like she once did. All my best wishes for you Taylor.
I just finished it. The thing I'm struck by the most is how this is the FIRST time I feel like I'm seeing the REAL you. I know that sounds cheesy, but honestly - I didn't see any awkwardness (beyond that one montage haha) or walls up, or defences, or "fakeness". From the way you talk to your body language, it felt authentically YOU. Which is *AMAZING* and makes me sooooo happy! You are on the path you're meant to be on and you are rocking it, my friend. I am so excited to support you through your recovery and witness your growth. I am SO proud of you.
Bless that woman. She saved your life, your assistant is a real friend. I'm so glad you got clean. Thank you for sharing your story and I'm so glad that your mom refused to leave that day.
Taylor, I'm happy to see that you're doing so much better. I've been worried about you for a long time. Addiction can be so devastating. Thank you for speaking out about it. I hope you can continue to surround yourself with people that love you and lift you up. You'll be in my prayers.
i know this is an old video but it is very brave of you to tell your truth, i have been watching you since i was 10 or 11 and i am now almost 18. i hope as of today in 2024 you are happy with your life and your hobby:) i am in recovery too and it is a long journey but a worthwhile one. keep doing what you love and i wish the best always🫶
I just wanted you to know that your story of how you first tried alcohol and drugs has always stuck with me, and has been so educational for myself and other people when I've gotten into discussions about how addiction isn't a choice and is a disease that can be debilitating. So thank you for making this video, I already commented when this first came out but I really hope you're doing well still and that you're happy!
Dear Taylor, i could not be more proud of you. I've been where you've been. I broke up with my abusive boyfriend who I've been using with and it was so scary. Everything was scary. Today I'm sober for more than 2 and a half years. And from what you told us I know you can keep staying sober. I truly belive in you, even when you relapse, it's not the end. It's just a bump on your new path. Keep going! 🖤
I did the SAME THING with animals, I’ve never heard someone else share an experience like that. I’ve struggled with binge eating/bulimia/addiction on and off for years. When I first started struggling with food and addiction, I went through a period where I adopted Guinea pigs, rats, mice, a spider, and a snake. Looking back I realize it was a very unhealthy coping strategy. I was addicted to the rush of warmth and love that getting a new animal provided. Thankfully I’m able to recognize that now, and while I still love my animals I’ll never adopt that many again, it was definitely a warning sign I didn’t realize at the time.
I was addicted to methadone and hydrocodone at the age of 14, I also abused alcohol and other drugs. I’m 18 now and have been clean for about a year. My sister is addicted to heroine, meth,and cocaine. I pray she gets the strength that you have had to get through your addiction.
Micki Babe it literally blew me away. I never could’ve expected this amazing of a response with so many people sharing their stories. It is truly so amazing to me
In a few weeks I will be five years sober. I unexpectedly got pregnant with my first child five years ago. The moment I found out I haven’t touched a drug since. She saved my life. Sobriety is a struggle but worth it.
That was exactly what happend to me. Before I had my son, I was going through a very crazy time and was using cocaine very heavily and making some very risky and bad decisions. I had been addicted to one drug or another for over 10 years by this time. One night, I came home after a multi-day coke binge and I just had this weird feeling that I really needed to quit doing drugs. This feeling was so intense that I actually did stop. I cut off contact with the people who had been giving me drugs, and just stopped. Two weeks later, I found out that I was pregnant. Two weeks pregnant. I didn't touch another drug for the entirety of my pregnancy. To this day I still cannot explain that feeling or why I actually listened to it. I'd wanted to stop before, but I never actually had the willpower to make it even a day. Once my son was born I was ok for a while, then I relapsed on opiates and was in a bad place again. Eventually, I had to take a good, long look at my life and what was important to me. I realized that my son and rebuilding my tattered relationship with my mon were more important than my next high. I decided to stop being selfish and get help. I started going to a methadone clinic and now almost 4 years later, I'm still clean and sober. If it hadn't been for my son unexpectedly coming along though, I probably wouldn't even still be here considering the path I was on. I still find myself missing my life before, the freedom, the lack of responsibility and the bliss of being high and forgetting all my troubles for a while. But then I think about the fact that those troubles were always there when I came down, just exacerbated because I kept trying to hide from them by using...and I realize that things are so much better now, even if they are difficult. At least now I'm present for it, instead of checked out and hiding from everything. I have support and people who love me and I'm not hurting them anymore. That makes it entirely worth it.
i know it's something private. but it means so much for you to be open about this. not only are you educating, but you're creating a safe space. we all love you
I've finally met the real Taylor, and I'm just so happy that you are alive and better from your sickness now. Please dont ever give up, you are such an inspiration, I'm so proud of you and I love you Taylor, you're a beautiful amazing woman!!!! You got this❤❤❤
no, you're all watching someone from behind a screen. just like the way you were all still watching her last year DEFENDING her when she was neglecting her animals the whole time, having other people take care of them. i'm sure you were one of the ones saying nothing was wrong with her and the rumors were just rumors and that she just has "haters" (or, you know, people concerned for her helpless animals.) just because she says things on video DOES NOT mean that's the reality. this video should prove that to you. taylor cannot and should not be trusted or looked up to. and she should not own animals until she's been sober for a very, very long time.
I've never watched 1:15:00 of Video. Until now. Your story is more scary, dangerous and emotional than the most storys I've heard so far. Proud of you being 2 months clean and I hope everybody is helping as much as they can and you can go on with a happy and good life. Edit thanks for the heart now I know you saw it❤
I used to judge people for using pills and being an addict, until it happened to me. I still struggle every day. Every single day is a battle. Heroin was my doc as well.
Girl, I shed tears watching this because the hurt in your voice...I don’t personally know you but you’re so brave and I’m so proud of you for posting this. I’m just so happy for you right now.
hello, I too am on the road to recovery (about a year clean) and I would love for people to subscribe and leave some kind words and support on my first video! It would mean the world to me, god bless you ❤️
I don't know why. But I come back and watch this maybe once a year. I've never had an issue with substances, I've never even known anyone who has addiction issues. I don't know if heroin even exists in my country. But I keep watching this. It's horrifying and eye opening. I'm still following you Taylor, and I'm proud of how far you've come.
Holy shit... This gave me goosebumps. Especially the parts where your boyfriend wanted to give an injection and where your assistant had that dream... I don't know you in real life at all, but I always was a little worried and I love you so much. I and other people are so happy and relieved that you decided to be open and that you are better. You are so strong!
I’ve been watching TH-cam every day religiously for over ten years. I watch every kind of creator there is. I’ve seen so many emotional videos. I’ve seen very real videos. This is the most raw and real video I have ever seen. I watched every second of it and felt your pain and saw your strength. I am so proud of you Taylor. I started watching you in September of 2017 and I had some very strong opinions when you got into your relationship and and was judging without knowing anything. I’m sorry for that. Addiction is no joke and to see someone my age kick it’s ass and be vulnerable and brave enough to put the full story on the internet for everyone to see is one of the most admirable things I’ve ever seen on this platform. No one wants to put their struggles online. We only see the things creators want us to see, the good things, and maybe some bad but never all of it. I’m so proud of you and I’m so thankful for your voice on this platform to speak about something so important and so personal that no one else wants to talk about or talk about in any detail. You can do anything Taylor. We love you.
This was the kindest comment and truly lifted my spirits !! I was feeling so down right now and opened up my youtube app and saw this and it absolutely warmed my heart so much. Thank you for being so kind and open minded to hear my story even with the reservations and judgements you already had towards my relationship. I appreciate it so much that you were willing to listen and hear my story. Thank you for your kindness, again. I was absolutely terrified to post this and comments like this just make me so happy that I did
Taylor Nicole Dean You are an incredible person and you have been so so brave going to rehab❤️ and now you can only look towards the future💕 now that I’ve seen this video you are my role model and ily💝
52:20 Thank you for your accountability and showing others the ugliness of addiction as well as the beauty and hope of recovering. Recovery is an every day thing, not just a moment but every moment after. You'll always have an addictive side, but you're no longer in the throws of it.
Hey I know nothing I say van make you feel better so what I will say is if you ever need to talk message me on Facebook 🖤 I hope your feeling a little better. Get yourself some soda pop and relax with some ASMR 👌🏻
I am so sorry for your loss love. I hope you find peace and a way to heal. In my pinned comment I talk about a program called Al-Anon, I think you could absolutely benefit from it if you have any unresolved pain still from that experience. Stay strong, I’m so sorry you had to experience that
I unsubscribed when she got with Johnny because I foresaw all this happening. Not out of hatred. It was like a trainwreck you knew was coming and could do nothing about it. I would still pop in sometimes hoping for the best for her and would be sad by what I found. I am soo friggin happy she is getting her life back on track and opening up. I think she can get through this and continue to improve
@@marcovargas1232 Johnny Craig - her Ex she talks about in the video (not the one from PetCo). The musician who is known thru his exes to be physically abusive. And now we know he's an addict and dragged Taylor in his blackhole.
I really identify with the experiences you described throughout discovering your "addictive personality" and I apologize for commenting 3yrs after this video was posted but I just really want to thank you for sharing your story because life has been really hard recently and stories like yours continually motivate me to keep finding ways to live for anything other than drugs & that life has so much more to offer outside of getting high. It's not easy but I know the practice of appreciating living is and will continue to be worth it. I hope you continue to find purpose in the little things like mochi and squishmallows and cute lil animals because the world is truly a better place because you're in it. Thank you for existing. ❤
Never unsubed because I love your content since the beginning but felt distanced like a year ago. And I am really happy that everything is getting better for you now. The queen is back!💕
Wow.. What an emotional and raw story I’m glad you did not leave any of the real and terrible details out. I know what it looks like and you showed the truth. I’m glad you told your story and the truth it can help and save so many people. The people that have been here a while can the how much better you seem during this video. Real emotions. Thank you so much for doing this. You may never know how much this helped. Thank you. And congratulations on being sober. It’s another chance at life and I know you don’t take it for granted.
as a daughter of a father who overdosed on heroin and passed away, i am so proud of you. i’ve been watching you for so long and it brings me so much joy seeing you bettering yourself. i have seen this whole battle first hand and im crying that people are bettering themselves from an addiction. love you girl!
Kalista Kopchik I’m so sorry you lost your dad to this horrible disease. My mom is an alcoholic and she relapsed after 11 years sober last week. She drove drunk and hit a pole. She’s lucky to be alive. Addiction is such a powerful thing..in the worst way!
It’s so sad to see the children affected by drugs. They did ask to be brought into this world to be raised by a drug addict. They don’t ask to be neglected by their parents. It’s awful really!
Hey, you made this video public again! Everytime I miss my past heavy drug usage (not H, but lots of E ), I come back to this video and remind myself that there's more to life than the rush. I enjoy being sober, not even drinking alcohol right now. Because it's great to think clearly. Thanks that you decided to upload this again. You are truly helping many people struggling with addiction. Because we tend to romantisize drug use. But this brings back the reality of it. Love you!
God damn I've never wanted to give a stranger a hug this much. I've had some similar experiences. I was never a huge fan of yours other than just being a nerd who likes educational content. I honestly kind of judged you through the controversy. But I get it. I'm glad you're out. I know how hard it is to leave. ❤️
I just wanna thank all the people that called out her toxic relationship back then, even if they got super bashed for it. Those were the ones who really cared about Taylor
Overdosed Mia Wallace i do wanna say thank you, and to the people that DIDNT do this, i understand 100% that they had no way of truly knowing and were only trying to care for me and didn’t understand what was happening. I will say I never was mad at people who said these things, but WAS hurt by the people who were upright rude about it and even said I was condoning and supporting abuse and excusing it. All his exes stayed for at least a few years, some stayed for 4 or more. We all went through the same thing and nobody could ever talk them out of it just as much as they couldn’t talk me out of it, so saying I was choosing to condone abuse was a horrible thing to say and did not help me leave the relationship but only made me feel more isolated. I know I made a horrible choice deciding to date this man, and I take full accountability for that and I promise I have learned my lesson 1000x over. but yes in light of your comment I do just wanted to say that I never EVER was mad at people who pointed out the abuse. I used to cry over some of the comments and truly wanna respond so bad only for my ex to make me block them “if I really loved him”. So yes, I formally do want to say thank you to those who were concerned about me and that I’m so sorry for leaving you all worried for so long. I just wanted to make it clear that I’m apologizing to those who truly cared, not those who victim-blamed or said I was choosing it and deserved it. I know a huge part of me believed that though and did think I deserved it, but now I know that’s no way to go about thinking and it’ll only shame me further into my abusers arms
Wow, finally a big youtuber speaks out about something like this. Coming from a recovering heroin addict, I thank you for your candor. It takes a lot of bravery because obviously addiction is still extremely stigmatized and taboo. It’s not an easy road and it may never be but it does get easier.
Taylor I’ve been through exactly what you have been through, I’m still on suboxone for four years I applaud what you have said. The truth can set you free or scare the shite out of you or both, it only takes around ten years to completely destroy you, I remember pushing cottons, I shot up soboxone to soon I thought I was stuck in a violent science experiment, everything you said I’ve been through I send you positive thoughts more powerful than a stupid addiction , thank you for sharing your story. We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities against spiritual wickedness in high places. Also since your beautiful watch out for those predators in recovery! It’s a big thing! They are everywhere but there are more good hearted people then those 13nth stepping suckers with selfish intentions. Peace love and empathy!
@@lilyhaboush8455 let me tell you this about hard drugs. my best friend died 5 years ago with a needle in his arm, he disappeared around halloween they found him in march after the snow melted... my sister died 3 years ago to a suboxne reaction. i finally got clean in 2008. 11 years later it is still a by the minute battle. the nasty thing about drugs they dont tell you is how good they make you feel. they are amazing and that is what gets you. people will tell you pot is not a gateway drug but it is a gateway into the world of drugs and makes it easier for those kind of choices to present themselves. just like my niece tho that lost her mom to hard drugs, is now on drugs. so good luck and JUST SAY NO :)
Taylor, my best friend Mikey lost his struggle with heroin addiction this past Wednesday, August 14th. He was 26. I am so glad you are still with us ❤️
I lost my cousin 3 days ago. He relapsed after rebuilding his life and died at 29. This is like the 4th or 5th person I've lost to heroin, including the love of my life. I'm so sorry for your loss babe💞
@@rachela2727 i'm so sorry. it's such a senseless loss. it makes you feel so helpless. my friend's service is tomorrow and i hope after that i can start to heal. my thoughts are definitely with you and your family ❤️
The fact that he was able to sit and watch this sober person become more of an addict than he is, nearly killing herself, bc of the trauma he put her thru trying to get him to stop, shows how much of a sick person he is
Nick Petrella is he that dude that sang She Makes Dirty Words Sound Pretty with pierce the veil?? if so thats insane ive known about him for YEARS and am just now discovering her tonight because i was researching things on rabbits bc im interested in getting one and then i got lead to her page lol
You can do this! My daughter is 19 and has been on it for a couple years. She's in denial and won't go to rehab. I pray for her and others to get help. I'm proud of you for getting the help you need!
My wife lost her fight with addiction a little over a year and a half ago. I tried to help her as much as I could but it finally won. Keep on fighting and never stop. Love your posts.👍
I lost my brother to addiction 2 years ago. I’m sorry for your loss it’s a tough battle. We can tell their stories and help others through their battle. ♥️
Jim Schreiner I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s a cunning and baffling disease and it creeps up on us every time we think we’re okay. Thank you for listening to my story and being open to it after your experiences, stay strong!
PerfectlyImperfect yo...same..my dad was an alcoholic and drug addict and he left my family and ten years later after leaving us he’s doing even worse. He’s slowly withering away into his drug induced abyss
@@taylorndean we love you to AND NEVER FORGET IT we are all here if you need to talk and im sure your parents are to and if you need breaks we understand its not all about us its about your parents,pet and your heath remember we love you and are here!your my idol and the best and dojt forget about it pls!!💙💙💙💙💙💛💛💛💛💛
hello, I too am on the road to recovery (about a year clean) and I would love for people to subscribe and leave some kind words and support on my first video! It would mean the world to me, god bless you ❤️
This is my first time watching you, and thank you for being transparent. I am a recovering addict of 6 years now, and it all started with my ex, who ended up taking his own life 3 years ago and its so crazy to think its been that long. But being able to watch someone whose open about their addiction and their story is relieving. And i hope to have the courage to share my story some day the way you have
Hi! I'm Zibby and I am an addict...My daughter Olivia has been a faithful follower of your animal videos since you began. Tonight she told me she had a video that I needed to see. You see, I am a heroin addict also. Our lives were turned upside down when I met my drug of choice after being severely beaten by a boyfriend. The last 4 years have been a mix of the highest of highs, healthy and not healthy, and the lowest of lows, withdrawals, a suicide attempt, abusive boyfriends, and the surrender of my nursing license. Watching you tell your story made me feel like you crawled side of my head and spoke about what you saw there. I, too, am a codependent people pleaser who just wants to be loved and accepted. TAYLOR...you are so brave and strong to put this out there for your TH-cam family to see and be able to share in your journey. Do not stop being your authentic self...you are beautiful and have an amazing life ahead of you...I am excited to see more of your videos about your animals...we have axolotyls too, and hopefully you share more about your road to recovery.....because we do recover! And you can do anything that you put your mind to, one day at a time...maybe even sometimes one minute at a time...but I believe in you. Thank u for sharing your story.
@@LemonSte you take a story about opening up about addiction and you decide to want to fucking say that Taylor abuses and kills her animals... shut the fuck up and let the story impact people.
La Ans why do you feel the need to say this? Especially this video aswell. Taylor is going thorough a really tough one right now and she doesn’t need your negativity so if you would be so kind, remove yourself from her platform and have a truly amazing day.
I'm going on my 2nd year being clean after being on heroin for 4 years. I know how it feels to be an addict and my prayers go out to you Taylor. Your not alone in the struggle but you will get through it Taylor. Many many good things to come from being sober, i'll be on 3 years clean in 5 months and I know you can do it. If you have question feel free to reach out to me. Take care and keep it up and never give up.
You are so strong and brave. 5 years ago I lost my sister to a heroin overdose... I have SO MUCH respect for you for sobering up. Looking forward to your 3 months of sobriety ❤❤❤
@@Bensukmarie Some of her pictures look like she's using again. I hope that's not the case. No judgement, I know how hard it can be. I just want her to be ok.
I hope she's ok. Last I heard her say she had a video ready for Dec. 31st but then nothing else but I only see her here and Instagram. We are still rooting for you sweet girl.
The moment I saw *him* in your video, I knew where this was heading. I'm so happy you're sober and doing better now. I'm a former addict (amphetamine) as well, it took 10 years, and I had to hit the bottom before I decided I needed to get help. I've missed you and this channel and am so glad you're back! edited the name out of my comment, as you don't mention it in the video, sorry about that
I’m also a recovering meth addict. I’m almost three and a half years clean but i only shot up for two years. I couldn’t imagine being 10 years deep. Bless you and your recovery. That is something to be SO proud of
3 years clean after 10 years of heroin addiction. And I'm only 26. You can do it girl. Don't hang out with anyone who does ANY DRUGS. That's my best recommendation for you. It's kept me clean.
Some Dude you have every right to worry. It’s not a easy thing to let go of! I moved several hundreds of miles away and quit talking to those friends! Prayers ❤️ I have a 20 year old daughter who went through all the BS with me and I’m so proud of her as a person. Counseling may be in order...
***Families, Friends, and Partners of Current or Former Struggling Addicts PLEASE Read*
First off, I never could've predicted such an amazing outpour of support in which I am receiving from this video. I posted a more in-depth thank you on instagram (@taylorndean) if you'd like to hear more of what I have to say. I truly cannot thank you all for being so open minded and kind enough, I love you guys so much, thank you for being a part of my healing.
Secondly, IF YOU HAVE LOVED ONES STRUGGLING WITH ADDICTION/ALCOHOLISM:
PLEASE consider going to Al-Anon! This is a free, fully anonymous program for NON ADDICTS affected by the disease. Basically, if a toll is being taken on your life in any way due to a struggling addict in your life (Rather it be your partner, brother, sister, mom, grandpa, friend, etc) this program is made for you. It's a place you can go that helps you heal from any pain, let go of any resentments, gain knowledge about why things have happened in your relationship with the addict, etc. It is not a place for addicts, but a place for the loved ones of addicts. This place does not work around making a victim out of the addict. You do not even have to have the addict in your life currently or ever again to truly benefit from this program. These meetings are always locally run, and some flow better than others based on your personality. I'd highly suggest googling Al-Anon meetings in your area and attending one, and if you don't like it, try another one the next time you're free. I have heard nothing but amazing comments from people who have attended. It truly helps you understand what is happening in the addicts brain, and provides you with a safe understanding environment to share and heal. And if you have been affected by an addict, you absolutely deserve clarity and to heal.
you could also just tell people to not do drugs, not pick up the needle like you did...
Taylor Nicole Dean we love you Taylor you are amazing your body is a temple please don’t destroy it with this sickening drug
mauracat what’s your problem? Can’t you see how much of a struggle this is for her to talk about? Try to put yourself in her shoes....
Woaw
mauracat as if the story she told about her struggle with addiction didn’t convey the message enough?? She’s obviously trying to show people the dangers of drugs and abusive relationships by sharing her own experiences while also reaching out to her audience. Taylor, please don’t let the negative comments get to you. You are so strong for getting through this, thank you for sharing your story. We’re all very proud of you for getting better ❤️
I am an addict... Coke and alcohol, mostly. 60 days clean here. Hard af but I'm trying.
Edit: november 26th. Still clean and sober.
Edit2: december 18th. Doing good. :)
Thanks everyone for the support
You're doing great!
@@daytonvinz6352 thank you.
@@diannasolano9224 thanks!
@@Psychoclaw thanks!
Ure beautiful. N u can do it
I’m leaving my fiancée tonight. You have given me strength. I found needles in his room, he’s been an addict for 8 years. While with me he’s been on methadone. He’s lied. Cheated. Abused me. I needed this strength. I’m scared of him. EDIT: for everyone whose commented, nearly a year later my life is wonderful, I’ve met another man, I’ve a new job, sure I think of all the pain and makes me incredibly sad and angry but I have never looked back! Xxx
Praying and sending positive vibes your way
aolx Ox I hope things are good for you in the future. I know you’re strong , you can and will start a new beautiful life. ❤️
Oh god hope it goes well
Hope everything goes well
Remember your better without him Stay strong❤️❤️😭
I’m 26 years old and after 12 overdoses and 2 seizers from heroine and cocaine, IM NOW 2 YEARS SOBER!!! Life is worth living! You got this!!
Good for you! Keep doing what ur doing. Ppl u don't even know are rooting for you. 🖤
@@Scorpiobw thank you!!
Congratulations!!! That is amazing
Brian B I never got told that people were proud of me as a kid or teen, I don’t know your story but you still deserve to hear it too... IM SO FREAKING PROUD OF YOU
Sober**
Been addicted to xanax for about a year now. Im on it right now. I finally told my family about it yesterday & im going to get help. Pray for me this shit is awful. Ive been having seizures & shit. Drugs are the fucking devil. Im sure every addict never thought they would be in this position... congrats to everyone who got off drugs. I love you all sm ❤❤❤
How are you doing now? I hope ur better xoxo
how are you doing now brother?
How are you?
Im 3 years from xanax, i CT'd. Dont ever do that, look into Ashton's manual. Benzos are the fucking devil.
Hope everything is going well
That person isn't your assistant, that's a good friend.
*family*
In the words of Sly Stone, "it's not about the blood, it's about the love."
*enabler
She's so lucky to have a real good friend like her!
@@ashleigh18v 👎
@@ashleigh18v maybe to begin with but if you take her out of the equation Taylor would not be sober today so I'm pretty sure she's no longer considered an enabler
Props to the drummer for choosing to leave and to call your mother, that guys a real human.
And he seems like the ONLY mature ADULT in all this mess.
one tab by mouth at bedtime p
Wish she ended up with him insted of the duch
hello hello
What’s a “duch”? Or perhaps you meant “douche”...?
I mean...if you know who this is about, it's not a shocker hes had bandmates leave. Wouldn't not be the first time. And hes deep into his addiction already again.
The drummer who quit the band and reached out to your mom is a phenomenal human being!
Agreed.
Yeah he's the real mvp of the story tbh
Zack Baker is the sweetest boi ❤
I agree, yes!
mllee2008 I was thinking that ❤️ I think Taylor is still recovering but as she gets to think about it she will realise how amazing that guy was
My dad has been an addict since before I was born, and I used to blame myself for the lack of love that he gave me, but after hearing your story, I understand that as a little kid I did nothing wrong. My dad was just wired differently. There is nothing I could have done better. Hearing your story felt like a nice warm blanket over my inner child. You really comforted her. Thank Taylor, thank you for helping. Everything makes sense now.
addiction is so hard, but it’s a personal struggle. nothing you have done or will do is responsible for his problems and nothing you have done or will do can fix them either, i’m wishing the best for you and your family. it’s a hard thing to work through. but it’s definitely not your fault ❤
Delete the dealers number. Cut out anyone who uses. They will make you want to use. Temp you. Please block the numbers and delete them.
Niki The Snake Lady
Best advice I’ve seen on here. If your serious about getting clean, give yourself a serious start over and get rid of anything tied to your old lifestyle. You deserve the best chance at success and sobriety.
Big time yes to this.
Most addicts have their dealers numbers memorized. I know I did.. unfortunately
YESSS
Exactly. Let them all go, they will try to drag you back down and make you feel bad for getting better, guilt you. I stopped following you for a time, Taylor(if you even see this), but I'm so happy to see that you've made these steps. I don't know how the mental and emotional journey went, how it got here, but it took your willpower and strength in the end. And I'm rooting for you! I think you've got this, and everyone wanted to see you get healthier.
Even if there's kindness in you that tries to forgive these people, or tries to give them second chances, or hear them out, ignore it and just shut them out because most hardcore addicts, especially your dealers, don't want to see you get better because for other addicts who don't care anymore, they get jealous and angry at your success and obviously, the dealers want your money. And nothing else. They just want to use you
when a relationship starts to feel like "you and me against the world" it gets nearly impossible to leave...
Their is always someone that will prove to you that you are valuable.
yes!
I've lost a good friend to this mindset and it's so sad.
My god that is so true! When it’s happening you think it’s beautiful and eventually ( and usually too late) you realize how sick it is
@ari clips she has an alt right boyfriend that isolates the shit out of her. She almost left him, he got her back, isolated her even more, we tried to reach out to her and help and she told us we were bad friends and moved away
Having alcoholic parents, my heart broke when you mentioned "better in the morning" because that was my entire childhood. I just wanted them to fall asleep or take a shower because they always seemed better after.
That sounds truly terrifying. No one deserves to grow up in fear of their parents 😭
@@enhydralutris9547 I never feared them actually! They weren't violent drunks, more so they checked out and were incapable of caring for themselves or us. The only true scary thing I guess is going to your parent and getting a blank look in response. My sister and I were lucky in that regard I guess.
SammiJinx me as well I would just go to bed and if they had people were over or they were yelling so I would have to go to my cousins house
SammiJinx this broke me. I’m so sorry
Same here. Not knowing which side of the parent you're going to get. Learning how to stay quiet and try to be invisible. Then again, mine became extremely abusive when drunk. I remember a time before one parent got so badly addicted to it and became full blown alcoholic, I remember the day that I realized that they only hugged me and said they loved me was when they were drunk. That realization alone hurt. It still does honestly. I'm absolutely terrified of drunk men though, and I always have been as long as I can remember, but I couldn't ever tell anyone exactly why it even pinpoint it myself. I'm pretty sure it stems from something that had to have happened when I was a toddler. I do remember bits and pieces, naturally, but not much beyond much much older grown men, friends of my dad's, and how eventually my mom wouldn't let me go down to the hangout spot (a small country store within walking distance from our house at the time) with my dad anymore. I don't think I was abused, or rather I truly hope that isnt the case, I was much too young to be able to remember much, but I hope that would be something I wouldnt forget. But it got to where I would scream and cry every time I saw them. So...🤷♀️ who knows.. anyone with any active addiction to anything, be it alcohol or drugs, have absolutely NO business around children. NONE.
I was here when this video came up and I watch this about once a year. It's weird that this is my comfort video but it's because I feel for you so much and it warms my heart to know you're constantly getting better.
Oh my gosh, I feel the exact same!
Bless the drummer for taking a stance the way he did, bless your assistant for her compassion, and bless your mom for her unrelenting determination. I can't imagine how tough it was to publish this, but just know you are worthy and have always been. Stay healthy and safe
Omg ily gloom 💙
Well said Kassie.
yes ❤🙌👏
Kassie I agree LOVE YOU
KASSIEEE!♡♡
Imma be honest chief, you’re brave for uploading this and I think we are all very proud of you
Cell thank you so so much 🥺
Yes, I agree completely!
100%👏💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
Even prefect cell has his soft side 😂😂
💜 you're so strong
I recognize this girl. I'm not saying "this is the good old Taylor!" because it's not, you'll never be that girl again, and as lovely as she was that's ok, because the Taylor here is wiser, and stronger, and loves herself more, the Taylor I see now is the Taylor I missed _and_ so much more. Sending you all my love and support for your sobriety, you've got this dude. Welcome back
That was beautiful❤❤❤
Perfectly said!! I love you Taylor and I also love you guys...The fellow subbies. We have such a kick was support system and bond.
@fly furby
Beautifully said🥰🥰
I really loved coming across this comment 💞
I always come here (to the video, through the comment section) when i’m in a really, really, reaally bad place because it helps me knowing that i am not alone. So THANK YOU, Taylor. And THANK YOU to everyone from the comments who opened up about their stories.
Same..... we love you! I love everyone who is currently an addict and in recovery!!
That’s awesome! You’re definitely not alone. We all struggle and fall short. But to maintain a healthy happy disposition and heal our bodies is the main focus. And always remember there is so much more you can do and have healthy addictions 😂Lolol like chips or running or buying a bunch of reptiles Lolol 😂 I hope you’re doing well!
2 months sober from cocaine, Xanax, and oxy, thank you. Your story and expirence touches more than you know.
Neal S that’s great!
You're gonna do great things! Keep up the good work!
Thats great, I'm so happy for you!
!
Keep it up because this what we are supposed to do as responsible adults. I don't ever congratulate anyone in recovery, that just feeds the ego which needs no supplemental input! Well, that's how I was taught, humility comes first, we only tell others of our milestones to give the newcomer hope. BTW Hope=Hearing Other Peoples Experiences
I was on heroin for 16 years. I’ve been clean now for two years.
Congratulations 🎊 I'm so happy for you. Especially after such a long addiction. You're an inspiration.
Thankyou bro. I got to a point we’re I didn’t think I would ever be free and thought that death was my only option. But thanks to my belief in Jesus and my families help and my son Callum and my pastor who came to me in my flat back then, I found strength I didn’t know was there. Some most heroin addicts don’t make it. I’ve lost so many friends cos of it and I believe they are at rest now. I’m living my life now to help whoever wants to be free.
Dude you’re amazing.
X P Thankx. Your amazing too. 😉
Keep it up!
"This guy could potentially hurt me but I don't think anyone else is gonna like me"
Ouch.
@Peter Kropotkin But that's not how it works for everyone.
@Peter Kropotkin I do not disagree with you, it is a sad and desperate conduct indeed; however, not everyone can just choose being alone over having toxic company, and that's a fact.
It's not something to shame them about tho, it's just really.. Well, sad.
Peter Kropotkin no one told you to watch this vid. It’s people like you that criticize her that got her into this that made her feel like she wasn’t good enough for anyone and just wanted someone to love her. Makes no sense to leave nasty comments, It doesnt effect you at all so why don’t you leave this girl that’s clearly in a weak state and needs only support the fuck alone. Thank you.
@Peter Kropotkin Man fuck off everyone deserves a chance and hopefully her story will teach people not to use.
Peter Kropotkin do you realize that a real human, with feelings, emotions, mistakes...reads this? Who gave you the right to open your mouth, bro...
Hi Taylor I just wanna say that you have completely showed me how addicting drugs are. You’ve saved me, a young 17 year old, from ever taking drugs. I know you don’t upload anymore but just know by making this video you have educated me better than schools have. And I will never ever touch drugs. My father died from liver cirrhosis due to excessive alcohol intake and it scarred me. Drugs can only hurt people. Thank you and you made me cry.
I was addicted to heroin for 8 years ..moved away cut off my family ..proud to say im 5 years clean now got my own car apartment etc...drug life is the hardest thing ever...but sober life is a amazingly awesome gift congrats to sober life
💖💖
Keep up the awesome job - I am so proud of you!
@Gaia thank you so much ...just have to keep wanting a better life .. Congrats also it wasn't easy but we did it 👍..
@@liztetixo thank you means alot
I was an addict to o was addicted to heroin and meth and pretty much anythg else I could get my hands on. Im 5yr sober (6-13-14).... Its NOT easy at all I have to stay away from all the idiots that called themselves ur friends but used u for a ride or to get them high. I'm moved cities and no longer hang out with anyone except my 4kids and theyre ALL I need. They're my world now, NOT the dope.... So say nope to the dope and live ur bestest lives everrrr y'all. I love u all and If u need a friend hmu.... Thanks.... And btw Taylor ur looking good so keep it up boo....
I got clean when my fiancee died of a heroin overdose, over 3 years clean now. Thank you for this video.
I'm real sorry about your fiancee. Hope you can heal and find peace - sending you lots of love.
I’m so proud of you. My boyfriend died of a heroin overdose 12/28/2016. Hope you’re doing okay ❤️
Melissa Skywalkz my brother just died of a heroin overdose. Sucks so bad I wanna join him
I'm so sorry for your loss! To many lives have been lost and there's not enough being done, I'm still hopeful though. So proud of you! 5yrs clean for me and if you ever need an ear! 😘
Would it be fair to say that without your Fiancé's untimely passing, you wouldnt have got clean (at least not at that time)? Or (knock on wood/God forbid), had roles been reversed theres every chance that both of you may be gone now. I realise that addicts are alive but they generally dont have any kind of life. So in a way it was your fiancé that gave you the gift of life.
Sorry if that was a rambling random comment. Hope you're doing well and good now and may your Fiancé rest in peace.
Not that anyone cares, but I have around 8 years of not relapsing on bulimia, I know it’s a completely different story, but we all have battles, please do not give up sweetheart!
Great job. I don't know if you need to hear this but, you are so strong and courageous you got this!
Stay strong great job ❤️
We care💕
Congratulations!!
I am so proud of you I understand what bulimia is like and it is not easy to fight off stay strong
This is the first time I'm hearing about Al-Anon in my entire life. My mom was an addict who committed suicide. I found her. I've spent 8 years struggling with the understanding of her addiction. You just shared such an important and life altering resource for me. Thank you.
Hope you’re doing okay 🥺
Did you go to Al anon 💓
My ex is an addict. He would have died, literally, before he would allow me to touch heroin, much less encourage it. What Jonny did is evil.
Steve Hunt I hope you’ll reach out and get yourself clean and healthy ASAP... good luck man. It’s really not worth it to use but you know that already. ✌🏼
@Steve Hunt i hope you'll get yourself clean soon!! U can do it. Also i wish for u, your wife(?) and your children to be always healthy and safe. Stay strong
It’s not evil, it’s a disease... think that just because you wouldn’t do it doesn’t mean others addiction wouldn’t take them to those darker places. I understand it’s crazy and does look “evil” but that’s simply the level of addiction he had :/
Milagros, I don't think you understand. She never said addiction was evil, she said sharing that with others or introducing that to others when you KNOW it's wrong is evil. And it is evil.
@@laur-unstagenameactuallyca1587 I did understand, what I think you are not considering is that a person going through a disease like addiction is clearly not in their right mind to discern such thing. Of course he might understand it's not ok, which I agree, for sure is not, but the fact that he does it anyway does not necessarily make him EVIL, just shows a level of sickness. Of course some might have to do with his personality as well. That was my point :)
I’m 6 years free of heroin now. We can do this babe!
Lindsey Crabtree YASSS GIRL sooo proud of you!!
YESSSS QUEEN!!
Yesss keep on goinggg and don’t EVER look back!!! ❤️❤️❤️so proud
♥️♥️
Ur goregous btw and WAY TO GO!
I had an abusive ex who forced me onto cocaine, meth, acid, and a bunch of other pills and hearing someone I trust and love talking about their experience has helped me and feel so much better about my experience . I love you.
You are so cute. Extremely brave for doing this. Congrats on patching life back together. Much love - O.D.D
Why didn’t you put another "." after the second "D"?
Thank you... flat earth channel??
The fuck XDD
Just so you know,she isn't clean, she is back on the needle game. She doesn't want to get clean.
@@anelablanchard7720 really? how do you know
@@solanum6039 because you have to
This video is giving me strength to walk away from my husband. I filed for divorce.
Sending you all the love and strength I have. You can do it ♥️
Stay strong. 💜
This needs more likes! You go girl! Stay strong 💪🏽❤️
im proud of u
Yeah leave him and come over to my house!
I was a heroin addict since 15. Ive been sober for 5 months and 20 days. It’s not much but we do recover :)
It is much! I'm happy for you, keep on fighting!❤🔥
so proud and happy for u
progress is progress, so happy for you! stay strong!
how can you be a heroin addict at 15??
Yanizzle very easily. I had an older boyfriend who used and I started using with him. I’ll have 3 years on Nov 17.
I had an ex who introduced drugs to me and also became abusive. I’m over 4 years clean from heroin now, and engaged to someone who truly values my sobriety and respects the person I am. Thank you for sharing your story, I know it’s not easy but you’re helping people!
Congratulations!! It sounds like you’re doing a lot better and I hope that doesn’t change
Congratulations, this is not an uncommon thing unfortunately. I'm glad you were able to overcome it! When I was in 9th grade my best friends sister had passed from heroin just about a year or so after her boyfriend got her hooked..
Very proud of you!! Congrats!
h b. Congratulations!!! That’s awesome
My sister is a heroin addict of 17 years. I’ve known her longer as an addict than when she wasn’t. She just relapsed after two years clean and went back to her ex. I never understood why she couldn’t stop and I was so angry with her. This video really helped me see the other side of addiction and understand what she may be going through. Thank you and I’m so proud of you for being clean and sharing your story ❤️
How’s she doing now? Good I hope for both of you ❤️
How is she now?
I hope she is well
i’m 4 months sober tomorrow
Lillie M keep going, Lillie❤️
so awesome keep pushing forward
Congratulations!
Keep going i don't even know you but I'm proud of you. ❤️❤️
One day at a time.
For the first time ever, the girl I watched in todays video appeared confident, sure of who she was, and although went through the heaviest of situations, had more hope and life in her eyes. I am so proud of you!
Ali Smiles thank you so so much 🥺
Taylor Nicole Dean ❤️
I lost my boyfriend June 22nd to a fentanyl laced heroin overdose, after almost two years sober. Watching your recovery is helping me cope with the loss. Please continue sharing your story, you WILL save lives!!!
sorry for your loss... stay strong beautiful
Would love to talk to you about how you’re coping. I lost my girlfriend November 21st 2017 to a drug overdose. Please reach out to me on Instagram at gwenyeager
Kelly Sharpe I’m so sorry for your loss. How are you doing with your recovery? Have you done any grief counseling?
I lost my brother a year and a half ago due to a heroin overdose also after nearly two years sober. It was a traumatic time and I would suggest to get help early. I never felt so alone and I never got help. It will get easier, trust me
Yeahhh Boii I’m sorry for your loss too. My boyfriend lost his sister in 2015, and it took him a long time to start healing too. He was very resistant to talking about it. I wish I had known about grief counseling back then. I know a lot about addiction & recovery, but I was not equipped to help someone cope with grief back then. I learned a lot, but I wish he didn’t hurt so deeply for as long as he did.
I saw your interview on VICE. I came her to see more. I just wanted to say thank you for doing the interview. I’ve never taken any drugs in my life, but homeless drug addicts in my neighborhood is common. I always wondered how do these people get addicted in the first place? What was that turning point? What kind of life did they have before drugs? Your interview shed some light to my questions.
I have never tried hard drugs in my life! I waited until 20 to try weed but never was addicted. And I tried a hard drug for the first time at 27 and got a little bit addicted there for awhile. I just tried it once for a fun night and because my lover did it and struggled BAD w it. I felt safe and all of sudden started craving it and craving the high. It kinda creeps up on you. But luckily, I was strong enough to have the sense to just be like NOPE this is not me. And once I put my mind to something I do it. Some ppl can’t. Some just mentally can’t do it as well as physically and the mental part is the worst part of it because that what makes or breaks you or what keeps you stuck. Most ppl can’t help themselves and can’t think themselves out of it and know they are worth it. And struggle and keep doing it. It’s so sad. I always said I would NEVER do that kinda stuff because my mom is a severe addict and struggles w bipolar and depression and I had to live w such a messy home life. But sometimes it just happens under the lightest weirdest circumstances. I still don’t get it and I’ve been around it, lived w it and experienced it. But everyone can change. I hope you have a good day!
If you're looking for a sign to stop, this is your sign.
Who, what, I cant see
Nah
She look like SNIPER WOLF!
Wish it was that easy bro
vynz im single asf lol
He manipulated you. He wanted you addicted so he could do it without you trying to stop him. He had no intention of stopping. Some people want to, some don't. Stay clean please, you're worth it. ❤
I'm Baby my ex tried to get me to do meth with him. if the relationship lasted any longer I’m sure I would have caved. he blamed me for not making him stop the first 3 months of our relationship and told me it was my responsibility to help him. as far as I’m aware, the last time he used in our relationship was when he shot up in front of me on his dead dads birthday. then he blamed me for not being strong enough to stop him. then offered me some since I’d never been around him with the drugs, just with him after he got high. scary stuff.
Sometimes it's not even that they don't want to stop. Sometimes its just so powerful to the point where you will do anything for it, and it's like you want to stop but you also don't because your body is so addicted to it that you do want to stop but you also dont.
@@alilih3652 agreed, my uncle has sobered up several times but sometimes relapses. He's officially sober right now for about 5 months. He once got two years and it was great but because he still had friends and a wife who were addicts he would eventually fall back into it. He's recently cut out all addicts in his life.
Is she talking about Johnny Craig
No he didn't. He behaved in a way that is absolutely expected from a drug addict.
This video is an hour of her blaming another person for a decision making process that can only be described as sick.
She is addicted to being needed, to taking care of things. Getting hooked on heroin was merely a biproduct of her underlying pathology.
She needs to get rid of all of get animals and get into extensive psychotherapy to overcome this compulsion to take care of things. She needs to be able to be happy without being needed.
Please don’t ever delete this. This is such an important video, thank you for being so raw. This shows how influential an abusive relationship can be and how people end up in these dark places. Praying for you to keep up your recovery. You’re amazing.
It's sad watching her relapse one more time and having contact with Jonny once again... I know it's part of the process but God, I wish she finds the right path just like she once did. All my best wishes for you Taylor.
Why are you assuming this? I really hope she is doing okay 😥
@@Mo.2711 didn’t she confirm it somewhere? I think it was Instagram or something.
@@marianatrench5557 oh okay, thank you..
@@Mo.2711 she's also made a video about it about a month ago now (I know your comment is older than her recent video, just in case you were curious)
Update: She just posted her one year sober video 😊
I just finished it.
The thing I'm struck by the most is how this is the FIRST time I feel like I'm seeing the REAL you. I know that sounds cheesy, but honestly - I didn't see any awkwardness (beyond that one montage haha) or walls up, or defences, or "fakeness". From the way you talk to your body language, it felt authentically YOU. Which is *AMAZING* and makes me sooooo happy! You are on the path you're meant to be on and you are rocking it, my friend. I am so excited to support you through your recovery and witness your growth. I am SO proud of you.
I agree.
Zoe's Zoo yes! I saw this too. Her glow is so true now and it’s amazing to watch. ❤️
Yes! Her accent is even different. I love hearing it :)
It’s scary that this was happening behind all the videos, I’m so proud of you Taylor, I’m glad your better
Bless that woman. She saved your life, your assistant is a real friend. I'm so glad you got clean. Thank you for sharing your story and I'm so glad that your mom refused to leave that day.
Not that anyone cares but i'm 7 weeks clean of self harm(suicidal harm) :)
Same but its only about 4 weeks :)))))
I care ❤️
2 months clean now
your doing great 🥺🤍
Yea we don’t care
Taylor, I'm happy to see that you're doing so much better. I've been worried about you for a long time. Addiction can be so devastating. Thank you for speaking out about it. I hope you can continue to surround yourself with people that love you and lift you up. You'll be in my prayers.
This is great to see, good on you ❤
Love you Clint! I love seeing other youtubers supporting each other this was so sweet
I love how other pet channels can be so supportive! Love you Clint!
glad to see you supporting
Oh Clint, you are so sweet!
I been clean for 24 years :)
Congrats ❤️👌🏼
i know this is an old video but it is very brave of you to tell your truth, i have been watching you since i was 10 or 11 and i am now almost 18. i hope as of today in 2024 you are happy with your life and your hobby:) i am in recovery too and it is a long journey but a worthwhile one. keep doing what you love and i wish the best always🫶
I’ve also been watching her for years and she’s done so amazing and also I hope your recovery goes well ❤
My best friend died of a heroin overdose in a sober living house a year ago. I truly hope you hope you stay down the sober path.
I’m a heroin addict too, I’ve been clean for 8 years. It gets better. Love you. ❤️
Kim Basciano congrats girl
Kim Basciano ❤️❤️
im a heroin addict too ♥️
Congrats. That's really awesome
Em Liz thank you!!
Over six years sober from all mind altering substances, I got sober at 21. You can do it! We believe in you!
Well done!!
I just wanted you to know that your story of how you first tried alcohol and drugs has always stuck with me, and has been so educational for myself and other people when I've gotten into discussions about how addiction isn't a choice and is a disease that can be debilitating. So thank you for making this video, I already commented when this first came out but I really hope you're doing well still and that you're happy!
I was using iv heroin for 8 years. I will have 2 years clean November 13th. Recovery is possible 🖤🖤
❤❤❤
Shelby Hetrick congratulations!
My birthday day is November 13 hope you keep it up❤️❤️❤️
Shelby Hetrick 💓💓
Missed you
My husband has been clean for 8 years. You got this girl!!! Congratulations for getting out and helping yourself.
Dear Taylor, i could not be more proud of you. I've been where you've been. I broke up with my abusive boyfriend who I've been using with and it was so scary. Everything was scary.
Today I'm sober for more than 2 and a half years. And from what you told us I know you can keep staying sober. I truly belive in you, even when you relapse, it's not the end. It's just a bump on your new path. Keep going! 🖤
I did the SAME THING with animals, I’ve never heard someone else share an experience like that. I’ve struggled with binge eating/bulimia/addiction on and off for years. When I first started struggling with food and addiction, I went through a period where I adopted Guinea pigs, rats, mice, a spider, and a snake. Looking back I realize it was a very unhealthy coping strategy. I was addicted to the rush of warmth and love that getting a new animal provided. Thankfully I’m able to recognize that now, and while I still love my animals I’ll never adopt that many again, it was definitely a warning sign I didn’t realize at the time.
I was addicted to methadone and hydrocodone at the age of 14, I also abused alcohol and other drugs. I’m 18 now and have been clean for about a year. My sister is addicted to heroine, meth,and cocaine. I pray she gets the strength that you have had to get through your addiction.
Samantha Jane also had my childhood wasted on that shit. Morphine since I was 14. I regret it a lot but I’m 4 years clean now!
Also congratulations :)
At 14 was it a family members meds ?
how does a 14 yr old get the access ?
@kristenmoody yes they were a family members pain killers
@franciscaMarques Thank you and congratulations to you too
Reading all these comments about people opening up about becoming sober make me so proud.
Micki Babe it literally blew me away. I never could’ve expected this amazing of a response with so many people sharing their stories. It is truly so amazing to me
In a few weeks I will be five years sober. I unexpectedly got pregnant with my first child five years ago. The moment I found out I haven’t touched a drug since. She saved my life. Sobriety is a struggle but worth it.
I am proud of you! Keep doing what you are doing, remember that you are strong!
Snake With Blue Eyes
Congratulations! I wish you all the best.
That was exactly what happend to me. Before I had my son, I was going through a very crazy time and was using cocaine very heavily and making some very risky and bad decisions. I had been addicted to one drug or another for over 10 years by this time. One night, I came home after a multi-day coke binge and I just had this weird feeling that I really needed to quit doing drugs. This feeling was so intense that I actually did stop. I cut off contact with the people who had been giving me drugs, and just stopped. Two weeks later, I found out that I was pregnant. Two weeks pregnant. I didn't touch another drug for the entirety of my pregnancy.
To this day I still cannot explain that feeling or why I actually listened to it. I'd wanted to stop before, but I never actually had the willpower to make it even a day.
Once my son was born I was ok for a while, then I relapsed on opiates and was in a bad place again. Eventually, I had to take a good, long look at my life and what was important to me. I realized that my son and rebuilding my tattered relationship with my mon were more important than my next high. I decided to stop being selfish and get help. I started going to a methadone clinic and now almost 4 years later, I'm still clean and sober. If it hadn't been for my son unexpectedly coming along though, I probably wouldn't even still be here considering the path I was on.
I still find myself missing my life before, the freedom, the lack of responsibility and the bliss of being high and forgetting all my troubles for a while. But then I think about the fact that those troubles were always there when I came down, just exacerbated because I kept trying to hide from them by using...and I realize that things are so much better now, even if they are difficult. At least now I'm present for it, instead of checked out and hiding from everything. I have support and people who love me and I'm not hurting them anymore. That makes it entirely worth it.
I just celebrated 5 years clean from Heroin & Cocaine abuse/addiction
This happened to me too. More than 3 years later, I'm still sober. My child saved my life and I thank God everyday for getting me clean.
i know it's something private. but it means so much for you to be open about this. not only are you educating, but you're creating a safe space. we all love you
I've finally met the real Taylor, and I'm just so happy that you are alive and better from your sickness now. Please dont ever give up, you are such an inspiration, I'm so proud of you and I love you Taylor, you're a beautiful amazing woman!!!! You got this❤❤❤
Queen Alex thank you so so much 🥺❤️
no, you're all watching someone from behind a screen. just like the way you were all still watching her last year DEFENDING her when she was neglecting her animals the whole time, having other people take care of them. i'm sure you were one of the ones saying nothing was wrong with her and the rumors were just rumors and that she just has "haters" (or, you know, people concerned for her helpless animals.)
just because she says things on video DOES NOT mean that's the reality. this video should prove that to you. taylor cannot and should not be trusted or looked up to. and she should not own animals until she's been sober for a very, very long time.
I’ve been off heroin for 5 years. We do recover!
Kace face 🥰🥰you go girl
Kace face YAY👏👏
Im proud of u!
Kace face 💜👏🏻I feel You I’ve been a Year & a Half! Sooo Proud Of You 😉
Kace face 👏👏👏
I've never watched 1:15:00 of Video. Until now. Your story is more scary, dangerous and emotional than the most storys I've heard so far. Proud of you being 2 months clean and I hope everybody is helping as much as they can and you can go on with a happy and good life.
Edit thanks for the heart now I know you saw it❤
Same
I have done a vid reacting to this, I'm shocked
@@ssserpentarium5968 please. Don't clickbait about this topic seriously.
Deax he did do a reaction on it
@@yoongisicedamericano8909 bruh...
This video is 3 years old but damn … it’s still THE MOST important video of the year. ♥️Thank you ♥️
I have 19 months clean today from heroin. I have SO much respect for you for using your platform and voice to speak on the topic. We do recover!
I’m just a stranger but I’m so proud of you 💖
I'm proud of you too
Congratulations 😭❤️ I’m 14 months!
Lisa Marie Congratualtions to both of you! I’m just a random internet person but I’m proud of you guys ❤️
Congrats to all of you! I know y’all can do it just believe in yourself ❤️
I used to judge people for using pills and being an addict, until it happened to me. I still struggle every day. Every single day is a battle. Heroin was my doc as well.
@Rocket Racc educate yourself. You sound really stupid.
Rocket Racc you don't have to watch Taylor if you don't want to hear her talk about her feeling and other people's than fuck you.
Rocket Racc bruh. stop being a dick
Rocket Racc go fuck yourself
Rocket Racc
Ooooh shit, nobody asked you for ur opinion🖕🤬
Edit: ya know, karma’s a bitch but not as much as u are 😉🖕
Girl, I shed tears watching this because the hurt in your voice...I don’t personally know you but you’re so brave and I’m so proud of you for posting this. I’m just so happy for you right now.
Same here, this made me cry so much :(
Thank you so much for being kind and open minded ❤️ no need to cry though!! Everything’s getting better now. I appreciate your support so much though
Youre so soo strong and we all admire and love you🥺❤
So did I
hello, I too am on the road to recovery (about a year clean) and I would love for people to subscribe and leave some kind words and support on my first video! It would mean the world to me, god bless you ❤️
I don't know why. But I come back and watch this maybe once a year. I've never had an issue with substances, I've never even known anyone who has addiction issues. I don't know if heroin even exists in my country. But I keep watching this. It's horrifying and eye opening. I'm still following you Taylor, and I'm proud of how far you've come.
Holy shit... This gave me goosebumps. Especially the parts where your boyfriend wanted to give an injection and where your assistant had that dream...
I don't know you in real life at all, but I always was a little worried and I love you so much. I and other people are so happy and relieved that you decided to be open and that you are better. You are so strong!
It's tragic, iv done a vid reacting to this it upset me
@@ssserpentarium5968 Why do you keep replying that same thing everywhere!? Annoying
I’ve been watching TH-cam every day religiously for over ten years. I watch every kind of creator there is. I’ve seen so many emotional videos. I’ve seen very real videos. This is the most raw and real video I have ever seen. I watched every second of it and felt your pain and saw your strength. I am so proud of you Taylor. I started watching you in September of 2017 and I had some very strong opinions when you got into your relationship and and was judging without knowing anything. I’m sorry for that. Addiction is no joke and to see someone my age kick it’s ass and be vulnerable and brave enough to put the full story on the internet for everyone to see is one of the most admirable things I’ve ever seen on this platform. No one wants to put their struggles online. We only see the things creators want us to see, the good things, and maybe some bad but never all of it. I’m so proud of you and I’m so thankful for your voice on this platform to speak about something so important and so personal that no one else wants to talk about or talk about in any detail. You can do anything Taylor. We love you.
This was the kindest comment and truly lifted my spirits !! I was feeling so down right now and opened up my youtube app and saw this and it absolutely warmed my heart so much. Thank you for being so kind and open minded to hear my story even with the reservations and judgements you already had towards my relationship. I appreciate it so much that you were willing to listen and hear my story. Thank you for your kindness, again. I was absolutely terrified to post this and comments like this just make me so happy that I did
Taylor Nicole Dean You are an incredible person and you have been so so brave going to rehab❤️ and now you can only look towards the future💕 now that I’ve seen this video you are my role model and ily💝
If you haven't, DELETE ALL THEIR NUMBERS! get a new number, a new phone. Make it easier on yourself
A. Alvarez that’s what I did . But with social media makes its hard but def a great idea!!!!!!
@@mickellebreann2955 whatever works ♥️
A. Alvarez no
@@thatcringekid7333
No, what?!
Judita V. No
52:20 Thank you for your accountability and showing others the ugliness of addiction as well as the beauty and hope of recovering. Recovery is an every day thing, not just a moment but every moment after. You'll always have an addictive side, but you're no longer in the throws of it.
My mom died because of an OD on oxy, fentanyl, and alchohol. I bawled my eyes out this whole video.
Sorry for your loss :(
Sorry for your loss 😥
Hey I know nothing I say van make you feel better so what I will say is if you ever need to talk message me on Facebook 🖤 I hope your feeling a little better. Get yourself some soda pop and relax with some ASMR 👌🏻
I am so sorry for your loss love. I hope you find peace and a way to heal. In my pinned comment I talk about a program called Al-Anon, I think you could absolutely benefit from it if you have any unresolved pain still from that experience. Stay strong, I’m so sorry you had to experience that
@@taylorndean thank you Taylor do you know if they have alanon is every state?
i am so proud of u, my parents passed away from drugs so this means a lot to see someone trying to stay clean
Да вдаль клуб щудаб
THE SPHINX u don't know if she's lying for likes so unless u know her and know that she is lying don't say that
@@Fdna-ni6ht i was about to say that but gud job
@@IdkIdk-zi5tp ty too good people
so sorry xx
I unsubscribed when she got with Johnny because I foresaw all this happening. Not out of hatred. It was like a trainwreck you knew was coming and could do nothing about it. I would still pop in sometimes hoping for the best for her and would be sad by what I found. I am soo friggin happy she is getting her life back on track and opening up. I think she can get through this and continue to improve
same, and I just re-subscribed today. You got this!
@@belikereepicheep I'm knew just wondering who's Johnny
@@marcovargas1232 Johnny Craig - her Ex she talks about in the video (not the one from PetCo). The musician who is known thru his exes to be physically abusive. And now we know he's an addict and dragged Taylor in his blackhole.
same. with the rate she was going in her videos, i thought she'd be dead soon. glad she got help.
What was his last name?
I really identify with the experiences you described throughout discovering your "addictive personality" and I apologize for commenting 3yrs after this video was posted but I just really want to thank you for sharing your story because life has been really hard recently and stories like yours continually motivate me to keep finding ways to live for anything other than drugs & that life has so much more to offer outside of getting high. It's not easy but I know the practice of appreciating living is and will continue to be worth it. I hope you continue to find purpose in the little things like mochi and squishmallows and cute lil animals because the world is truly a better place because you're in it. Thank you for existing. ❤
Never unsubed because I love your content since the beginning but felt distanced like a year ago. And I am really happy that everything is getting better for you now. The queen is back!💕
Wow..
What an emotional and raw story I’m glad you did not leave any of the real and terrible details out. I know what it looks like and you showed the truth. I’m glad you told your story and the truth it can help and save so many people. The people that have been here a while can the how much better you seem during this video. Real emotions. Thank you so much for doing this. You may never know how much this helped.
Thank you. And congratulations on being sober. It’s another chance at life and I know you don’t take it for granted.
as a daughter of a father who overdosed on heroin and passed away, i am so proud of you. i’ve been watching you for so long and it brings me so much joy seeing you bettering yourself. i have seen this whole battle first hand and im crying that people are bettering themselves from an addiction. love you girl!
Kalista Kopchik I’m so sorry you lost your dad to this horrible disease. My mom is an alcoholic and she relapsed after 11 years sober last week. She drove drunk and hit a pole. She’s lucky to be alive. Addiction is such a powerful thing..in the worst way!
It’s so sad to see the children affected by drugs. They did ask to be brought into this world to be raised by a drug addict. They don’t ask to be neglected by their parents. It’s awful really!
Hey, you made this video public again!
Everytime I miss my past heavy drug usage (not H, but lots of E ), I come back to this video and remind myself that there's more to life than the rush. I enjoy being sober, not even drinking alcohol right now. Because it's great to think clearly.
Thanks that you decided to upload this again. You are truly helping many people struggling with addiction. Because we tend to romantisize drug use. But this brings back the reality of it.
Love you!
God damn I've never wanted to give a stranger a hug this much. I've had some similar experiences. I was never a huge fan of yours other than just being a nerd who likes educational content. I honestly kind of judged you through the controversy. But I get it. I'm glad you're out. I know how hard it is to leave. ❤️
I just wanna thank all the people that called out her toxic relationship back then, even if they got super bashed for it. Those were the ones who really cared about Taylor
Thanks for accepting us finally.
@@Jithu_kze i always standed behind those trying to call out her ex, it'd break my heart when ppl said "leave them alone"
✋🏼
It always broke my heart because I thought she couldn't see what a terrible person he was
Overdosed Mia Wallace i do wanna say thank you, and to the people that DIDNT do this, i understand 100% that they had no way of truly knowing and were only trying to care for me and didn’t understand what was happening. I will say I never was mad at people who said these things, but WAS hurt by the people who were upright rude about it and even said I was condoning and supporting abuse and excusing it. All his exes stayed for at least a few years, some stayed for 4 or more. We all went through the same thing and nobody could ever talk them out of it just as much as they couldn’t talk me out of it, so saying I was choosing to condone abuse was a horrible thing to say and did not help me leave the relationship but only made me feel more isolated. I know I made a horrible choice deciding to date this man, and I take full accountability for that and I promise I have learned my lesson 1000x over. but yes in light of your comment I do just wanted to say that I never EVER was mad at people who pointed out the abuse. I used to cry over some of the comments and truly wanna respond so bad only for my ex to make me block them “if I really loved him”. So yes, I formally do want to say thank you to those who were concerned about me and that I’m so sorry for leaving you all worried for so long. I just wanted to make it clear that I’m apologizing to those who truly cared, not those who victim-blamed or said I was choosing it and deserved it. I know a huge part of me believed that though and did think I deserved it, but now I know that’s no way to go about thinking and it’ll only shame me further into my abusers arms
Wow, finally a big youtuber speaks out about something like this. Coming from a recovering heroin addict, I thank you for your candor. It takes a lot of bravery because obviously addiction is still extremely stigmatized and taboo. It’s not an easy road and it may never be but it does get easier.
Molly Nolin great job stay clean!!❤️
Emily artful also speaks about her addiction as well in a video, I recomend giving that a watch too!
Crispyfries thank you! I’ll give it a watch right now, honestly anything helps.
Alex Vaughan thank you! I’ve got almost 11 months sober now, it gets a little easier every day
Molly Nolin of course! 11 months?? dang girl look at you go, keep it going, your future self will thank you a lot!
Taylor I’ve been through exactly what you have been through, I’m still on suboxone for four years I applaud what you have said. The truth can set you free or scare the shite out of you or both, it only takes around ten years to completely destroy you, I remember pushing cottons, I shot up soboxone to soon I thought I was stuck in a violent science experiment, everything you said I’ve been through I send you positive thoughts more powerful than a stupid addiction , thank you for sharing your story. We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities against spiritual wickedness in high places. Also since your beautiful watch out for those predators in recovery! It’s a big thing! They are everywhere but there are more good hearted people then those 13nth stepping suckers with selfish intentions. Peace love and empathy!
Honestly. I was shocked when I saw the title. But I am truly proud of you. And I’m happy you’re alive 🙂
really? you must not get out that much
everythinghate
Well I’m in 7th grade and yea, we know ab addiction but we haven’t been taught a lot ab it
@@lilyhaboush8455 let me tell you this about hard drugs. my best friend died 5 years ago with a needle in his arm, he disappeared around halloween they found him in march after the snow melted... my sister died 3 years ago to a suboxne reaction. i finally got clean in 2008. 11 years later it is still a by the minute battle. the nasty thing about drugs they dont tell you is how good they make you feel. they are amazing and that is what gets you. people will tell you pot is not a gateway drug but it is a gateway into the world of drugs and makes it easier for those kind of choices to present themselves. just like my niece tho that lost her mom to hard drugs, is now on drugs. so good luck and JUST SAY NO :)
Taylor, my best friend Mikey lost his struggle with heroin addiction this past Wednesday, August 14th. He was 26. I am so glad you are still with us ❤️
Olivia sorry for your loss rest easy mikey ❤️💙
Olivia I’m so sorry for your loss! 😔💙
I'm sorry for your loss. I hope he rests in peace and that you and the others that were part of his life find closure❤
I lost my cousin 3 days ago. He relapsed after rebuilding his life and died at 29. This is like the 4th or 5th person I've lost to heroin, including the love of my life. I'm so sorry for your loss babe💞
@@rachela2727 i'm so sorry. it's such a senseless loss. it makes you feel so helpless. my friend's service is tomorrow and i hope after that i can start to heal. my thoughts are definitely with you and your family ❤️
The fact that he was able to sit and watch this sober person become more of an addict than he is, nearly killing herself, bc of the trauma he put her thru trying to get him to stop, shows how much of a sick person he is
rae g he was on drugs too.....
Who is this person I’m not gonna go after him I’m just curious
Avary Dawn he is a really bad person who almost made Taylor die of heroin
Avary Dawn his name is Jonny Craig.
Nick Petrella is he that dude that sang She Makes Dirty Words Sound Pretty with pierce the veil?? if so thats insane ive known about him for YEARS and am just now discovering her tonight because i was researching things on rabbits bc im interested in getting one and then i got lead to her page lol
You can do this! My daughter is 19 and has been on it for a couple years. She's in denial and won't go to rehab. I pray for her and others to get help. I'm proud of you for getting the help you need!
Is she better
I hope she is doing well ❤️
My wife lost her fight with addiction a little over a year and a half ago. I tried to help her as much as I could but it finally won. Keep on fighting and never stop. Love your posts.👍
So sorry for your loss I hope you're doing okay now
I lost my brother to addiction 2 years ago. I’m sorry for your loss it’s a tough battle. We can tell their stories and help others through their battle. ♥️
i’m sorry for your lost, i hope you’re doing okay 💗
Jim Schreiner I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s a cunning and baffling disease and it creeps up on us every time we think we’re okay. Thank you for listening to my story and being open to it after your experiences, stay strong!
God bless brother
Growing up with an alcoholic mum, the ‘wait till they go to bed’ mentality really hit me
PerfectlyImperfect ouch felt that.
I grew up with an alcoholic dad, and unfortunately i have to agree...
ouch...I’m so sorry. I wish you all the best. ❤️💕💗
When your parents drug of choice is meth so they just don’t. Anxiety.
PerfectlyImperfect yo...same..my dad was an alcoholic and drug addict and he left my family and ten years later after leaving us he’s doing even worse. He’s slowly withering away into his drug induced abyss
I commend you for your honesty and poise with discussing the issue Taylor. We love you and you are not alone in your struggle.
Mollydollyyyy thank you so much. I love you guys so much
@@taylorndean we love you to AND NEVER FORGET IT we are all here if you need to talk and im sure your parents are to and if you need breaks we understand its not all about us its about your parents,pet and your heath remember we love you and are here!your my idol and the best and dojt forget about it pls!!💙💙💙💙💙💛💛💛💛💛
hello, I too am on the road to recovery (about a year clean) and I would love for people to subscribe and leave some kind words and support on my first video! It would mean the world to me, god bless you ❤️
This is my first time watching you, and thank you for being transparent. I am a recovering addict of 6 years now, and it all started with my ex, who ended up taking his own life 3 years ago and its so crazy to think its been that long. But being able to watch someone whose open about their addiction and their story is relieving. And i hope to have the courage to share my story some day the way you have
Hi! I'm Zibby and I am an addict...My daughter Olivia has been a faithful follower of your animal videos since you began. Tonight she told me she had a video that I needed to see. You see, I am a heroin addict also. Our lives were turned upside down when I met my drug of choice after being severely beaten by a boyfriend. The last 4 years have been a mix of the highest of highs, healthy and not healthy, and the lowest of lows, withdrawals, a suicide attempt, abusive boyfriends, and the surrender of my nursing license. Watching you tell your story made me feel like you crawled side of my head and spoke about what you saw there. I, too, am a codependent people pleaser who just wants to be loved and accepted. TAYLOR...you are so brave and strong to put this out there for your TH-cam family to see and be able to share in your journey. Do not stop being your authentic self...you are beautiful and have an amazing life ahead of you...I am excited to see more of your videos about your animals...we have axolotyls too, and hopefully you share more about your road to recovery.....because we do recover! And you can do anything that you put your mind to, one day at a time...maybe even sometimes one minute at a time...but I believe in you. Thank u for sharing your story.
Elizabeth Mathews you are so strong! Everything will work out don’t worry ❤️❤️
She kills her animals / neglects them to death so I would not recommend you let your daughter continue watching
@@LemonSte you take a story about opening up about addiction and you decide to want to fucking say that Taylor abuses and kills her animals... shut the fuck up and let the story impact people.
La Ans why do you feel the need to say this? Especially this video aswell. Taylor is going thorough a really tough one right now and she doesn’t need your negativity so if you would be so kind, remove yourself from her platform and have a truly amazing day.
Elizabeth Mathews well done Elizabeth. I hope you are now truly happy and have a great life.
I'm going on my 2nd year being clean after being on heroin for 4 years. I know how it feels to be an addict and my prayers go out to you Taylor.
Your not alone in the struggle but you will get through it Taylor. Many many good things to come from being sober, i'll be on 3 years clean in 5 months and I know you can do it. If you have question feel free to reach out to me. Take care and keep it up and never give up.
♥hugz♥
You are so strong and brave. 5 years ago I lost my sister to a heroin overdose... I have SO MUCH respect for you for sobering up. Looking forward to your 3 months of sobriety ❤❤❤
trash_plasmosis I’m so sorry about your sister 💗💗
trash_plasmosis I’m so sorry
trash_plasmosis so sorry for your loss
thank you all for the kind words. we all heal over time ♥
Has anyone seen or heard from her? She hasn't done any videos in a long time and it worries me. I just hope she's doing ok.
Hopefully she’s all good
@@Bensukmarie Some of her pictures look like she's using again. I hope that's not the case. No judgement, I know how hard it can be. I just want her to be ok.
@@CCM8817 damn I just looked at her IG and... I don’t wanna speculate, but hopefully she okay
I hope she's ok. Last I heard her say she had a video ready for Dec. 31st but then nothing else but I only see her here and Instagram. We are still rooting for you sweet girl.
She seems to post more often on her twitter.
The moment I saw *him* in your video, I knew where this was heading. I'm so happy you're sober and doing better now. I'm a former addict (amphetamine) as well, it took 10 years, and I had to hit the bottom before I decided I needed to get help. I've missed you and this channel and am so glad you're back!
edited the name out of my comment, as you don't mention it in the video, sorry about that
I’m also a recovering meth addict. I’m almost three and a half years clean but i only shot up for two years. I couldn’t imagine being 10 years deep. Bless you and your recovery. That is something to be SO proud of
3 years clean after 10 years of heroin addiction. And I'm only 26. You can do it girl. Don't hang out with anyone who does ANY DRUGS. That's my best recommendation for you. It's kept me clean.
13?...
mirandascoool Jesus Christ, that’s inspiring, did you seriously start when you were 13
You don’t have to exaggerate 🤦🏻♀️😂
mirandascoool so proud of you, that's amazing
Brooke Peyton You don’t know if she is or not so shut tf up and go be negative some where else , fucking trash.
12 years clean from methamphetamine . Sending positive vibes!!!
My mom just started meth she’s clean now but I worry and I’m so so so proud of you even if I don’t know you lol
Tami Marie I feel really bad for you but maybe don’t get down with addicts?
Some Dude you have every right to worry. It’s not a easy thing to let go of! I moved several hundreds of miles away and quit talking to those friends! Prayers ❤️ I have a 20 year old daughter who went through all the BS with me and I’m so proud of her as a person. Counseling may be in order...
@@coolstufftodo5256 Like addicts are some strange creatures you should avoid getting into contact with... Reinforcing stereotypes hard right there.
Lunekoa no but having children with people who really should get some help. Not trying the alienate them just kinda logical
Damn I listened to the whole thing, you're such a good story teller and I'm so happy for you that you've become so much smarter