It’s very strange, people keep saying “he seems like a nice guy you’d never know” SO many addict are amazing sensitive people. It’s so sad that so many people just think an addict is a bad person.
I agree but theres people i know who were great people before hard drugs and then turned to a manipulative monster just to get there hands on drugs, theres bad addicts because of the drugs there addicted too. It sucks but theres not much you can do about an addict besides watch or try and get them help that they likely wont want
@@johnhopkins7039 im an addict. Heroin addict clean 5 years i have not met a ton of nice wholesome addicts while using... But after they get clean i agree with you.
I was a functioning addict for almost ten years until I ended up in a hospital. 7 months clean and life is amazing ❤️ Edit: 2 years now ❤️ Edit: 3 years now ❤️ Edit: 4 years now ❤️
I was once a functioning heroin addict, until I ran out of money. Eventually, no matter how much your making, you can't keep up with the ever increasing habit. Over 2 year clean from everything now.
@@thefacelessasmrtist468 It’s not always that easy, sometimes you need help. Heroin withdrawal can kill you so if someone who’s addicted is asking for help let’s not snap at them. ✌️
It’s amazing to me that almost every interview, the person being interviewed speaks for so long after the first question. You can really tell that they’re exited to speak. Maybe for the money, maybe for the therapy. Either way, these people get to have a voice for a moment. That’s beautiful
A child has their own self imposed feelings of what they think are their parents standards! Most times, it is the child who is making their own evaluation of themselves. Most often a child sees the parent as a goal of sorts. A child will never be the same age of the biological parent at the same time. The parent will never return to the child’s age at the same time. Never be the same at the same time. SMH!
@corey R, there are medications which can help with opioid withdrawals, but your better to do it cold turkey as you can re train the associations in your brain. I was a coke addict but managed to get off it cold turkey and did a rehab course by a company called Intuitive Recovery which I would highly recommend for someone trying to get over drug abuse
@@coreyr.2171 I wasn’t able to pull cold turkey myself I had gone to a rehab and they use Suboxon to help. If u haven’t tried kratom then id say try it out. I’m no doctor by any means but I looked it up and decided to try it and it actually did help for withdrawal. Do your own research and decide if it’s something u wanna try. Best of luck to u bro
I feel like he’s really hurt inside but he tries to hide that cause people think that he had an “easy” life, the suffering of other people don’t erase your suffering
I would but it’s hard for me to care about creating things and showing people. I put my heart and soul into being a musician until I was 27 and gave up and started the opiates. Now I’m clean and felt really creative and made some new songs. Still nobody really cared that much. Maybe I’m just not that great at music. I can’t imagine my writing being any better or more enticing or impactful or whatever people need.
@@MatthewAndrewDrake Sometimes we are just not creating the right thing as the right time, or we are not there yet. But your story is compelling and you have a voice. I wish you all the best and thanks for answering.
@@MatthewAndrewDrake Explain. I need a concise summary of what exactly you’re trying to convey here. Hurry up I don’t have all night. If you’re serious we can exchange a meeting. Dress business casual, and don’t waste my time.
This guy is a really good story teller, most people overlook it but thats actually a talent not alot of people have, was engaged the whole time. ur a cool guy matt
Funny, I came to the comments looking for someone saying the opposite. He has that habit of many drug users to tell stories which must seem interesting in their heads but came out as confused and random. I think it has something to do with the delivery; emphasis at weird parts, no build up, etc. The way he tells stories is what gives him away as a heavy user
lol he’s not really a good story teller. his tone fluctuates to keep your attention but that’s about it. He emphasizes random details too much and tells stories in a nonlinear way… so no, I wouldn’t call him a “good” story teller
The man is saying he's an addict and wants to quit several times.. He's not in denial. He's not praising it. He's just being honest about his journey with drugs!! Prayers for him and all suffering. And again, blessings to you Mark
When it comes to drugs like heroin its kind of hard to deny you're an addict. You know you are you just don't care when youre deep into it, until it gets to that point where you are ready to do anything to stop (hopefully)
hes a cry baby. ive been through similar shit growing up maybe worse. my mother is an alcoholic. i never developed drug addictions. each mind is different of course. but some one needs to tell him hes a cry baby
@@umdasu well I don't think it's ever fair to compare lives to somone because once again we have only heard about 30 minutes of his life and just because someone had a shit life doesn't mean they do drugs, I see the upper class kids in high school doing more drugs then I've ever done.
@@thisismichael2812 i was raised in the US im in BR right now trust hes crying about his first world problems. he needs to be slapped back into reality. not all users just this one case here.
He’s clean now. He looks like he’s a musician from the 1970s lol but I’m really glad he’s good now. Also, he’s incredibly well spoken and accepting of his shortcomings. I’m not surprised he turned his stuff around
@@MatthewAndrewDrake you remind me a lot of myself in some ways, and we're about the same age. The new perspectives that PE6 magic mushrooms offered me, helped me fix decades of mental miswiring that I had caused myself. The mushrooms helped me recognize and validate my sensitivities and fears, as well as understand those of others, which in turn helped me see why people do certain things. ..things that hijacked my brain and brought on torturous circular thinking that lasted for wayyy too long. The mushrooms help block my own biases and allow me to analyze things from a position of pure consciousness, with wisdom and calmness like I hadn't ever experienced in my adult life. I hadn't experienced the wonder of life as I do now since I was a child. True change comes from within, when we face our ugly ego and look at things for exactly what they really are. Forget about not being enough for someone else; nothing will ever be enough for them, until they kill their own ego. I had a struggle within me for decades while I failed to recognize the fact that certain people whom I loved very much didn't have the capacity to love me with the same ferocity I was attempting to love with, and while I now understand that they simply were not emotionally capable of it, it burned me up inside for years how they would repeatedly mistreat me, yet rarely make it right. Ain't nobody got time for that poison. I should not have wasted time hoping they would care enough to acknowledge my pain or express remorse in any way. I was trying to make do with the friends I had, but I would encourage my former self to recognize my value must come from within and we must limit contact with people who are in the habit of suggesting or acting as though you aren't enough. You're already enough, Matt. It is only yourself who needs to see it, and truly recognize it. When we have self assurance, we can appreciate the applause of others, but we certainly don't need it, even if it is our own dad. I sat on the sidelines with my piss poor courage, waiting to feel like an adult and grab hold of this merry-go-round of life while feeling bitter at my peers who already naturally felt like adults, champions even, and claimed what they wanted in life, as we all should be able to. Reach out and grab what you want. You can indeed embrace change; you have that power, but you must first embrace a new perspective of your life, and of your consciousness in general. Mushrooms can be scary and uncomfortable, but they can be an invaluable lifeline to a new perception and the ensuing change that comes from internal revelation. As I value myself today, I find it far easier to experience extreme joy in life without the need of harmful substances to smooth things over because the vale of locked-in perceptions has been lifted. My third eye is open, I guess i'd say. I still microdose mushrooms here and there to challenge my perception, but I was able to ditch my prescription meds ten years after a proper dosage ramp-down, and I've never been better I have never felt so fulfilled in life as I do now, and I wish a similar awakening to you. Your soul deserves it.
Mannn i was a functional heroin/fentanyl addict for 3 years. I ate some Psychedelic mushrooms last year and never tried Heroin again. I’ve been more motivated, threw out a lot of harder substances, and a lot of my anxiety and underlying guilt is completely gone.
Since I tired psychedelics for the first time, I’ve been trying to describe the experience to others so there can try it as well, but i couldn’t find the right words to describe it.
@@JohnD.BrinichIf you order packs off insta from an unknown vendor you found in a youtube comment section, you deserve to have your shit laced with fent.
I was never a functioning addict. Always felt as though I was affected by the withdrawals & cravings so much more than the ppl around me. Heroin is hell. 3+ years sober. Never thought I’d get here & it feels fantastic. Edit: 4 years came & went. The holiday season is always an emotional time for addicts I feel. I always do a lot of reflecting around this time. It’s really easy to fall into misery and depression, self pity, when I start thinking about all of the holidays I missed out on in active addiction. So I try instead to be grateful for the holidays I have been able to enjoy, without wondering if my dealer will be in town or if he’s going away, without my sole focus being on staying “well”. I can live in the moment now. I can enjoy my sons company, my families company, other peoples happiness, without that selfish voice sounding off in my head. And that’s enough for me. Count your blessings often, as cliché as it sounds, you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone. For those of us that already lost everything once, or twice, or more, we know what we’re fighting for, everything we stand to gain, and everything we have to lose.
@@MatthewAndrewDrake I'm rooting for you. I'm not a drug addict but I used to have issues with food, and I relate to alot of what you are saying. Take care Matthew.
Hey everyone my name is Trey I'm 30 I have 2 years on heroin and still on it I work at the JFK airport making 18.50 a hour I love this drug why cuz it make me want to work more even my boss says ur a good working trey I look at him and say thanks but he didt no I was on drugs I get my drug in new Jersey where it's cheaper I pay 100 dollar for 50 bags every Friday I get 3oo dollars worth so that is 150 bags it last a hole week really it does I only do 2 bags at a time never three I also shoot it up way better not in my arms on my foot so please guys don't do this i lost family friends job cars apt and I just got my apt and my car back it took time but yea the sickest is really bad like really bad I bin there but please bro don't do it this is my story stay sober
I was a functional heroin addict for a solid 5 years. I was able to maintain a job, an apartment and my kid. It made me feel like the person I wanted to be. The problem with being a functional addict is that eventually it won’t be functional anymore. Once an ex girlfriend of mine started shooting up, so did I. I overdosed 2 times. I’m so lucky to be here. I started having flashbacks listening to him talk about his stories. I had those exact thoughts. It was either heroin or suicide. There was no way out. I used to plan my recovery to make myself feel better about the position I was in but I knew I wasn’t getting clean unless it was light out. I am now 6 years clean and I can’t tell you how glad I am to be alive.
Me too, im getting clean now. I was able to hold a job, nice car, alwyas had money. Never stole from anybody or did scummy shit to get dope. Only issue is it started getting harder and harder to function and hold a job. So I decided I need to get clean. I reached a level of misery I didn’t even know was possible. I’m now entering an new chapter of my life. I broke up with my partner recently, switched methadone clinics and I’m moving to Florida now to go live with my best friend and his girlfriend. Life does get better.. slowly but surely.
Ive been a functional heroin addict for almost 15 years. I smoke it have never shot anything. Always had a good job been a model employee near perfect attendance I am a manager at my current job been there for 8 years only missed half a day in 8 years. Work super hard. Never steal and never robbed a friend, dealer, family member. Im super reliable, like boring reliable, like every dealer I know would front me any amount I ask for. I could get an oz fronted right now. Im not a shitty person, always pay my debts. Like this guy in the video my lungs are getting destroyed though. I need to get off to save my lungs.
Watching this guy say everything he ever wanted to say, to someone that didn't judge and listened was really nice, i wish him nothing but good luck in his life.
its funny listening to this dude - he is so good at blaming everything else around him - he does not need encouragement or questions - just wind him up and away he goes! i would have a quiet chuckle too if a 33year old man couldn't recognize what a drill was lol.
As a functioning heroin addict for 10 years myself, i related on so many levels with Matthew. My life was slightly different as I spent those 10 years raising my son by myself. However, "functioning" is very subjective. I worked 5 days a week and provided my son with food, shelter and love, so to others I appeared very functional. But looking back at that time I didn't grow emotionally for a decade. I lied to my family and friends for a decade. My health suffered for a decade. Close relationships were non existent for a decade. The only relationship I had was with smack. Like Matthew, my saving grace was my hatred of needles. I snorted heroin daily. An intervention by friends and family was the turning point. However, I insisted that I couldn't go to rehab because I couldn't leave my son. So, with the help of buprenorphine (a wonder drug in my mind) I kicked it on my own. 13 years clean now and my life is wonderful. I'm not full of regrets about my addiction. The catalyst for my heroin use was finding my fiance dead on my birthday to suicide. Heroin was the perfect cure to my pain. At the time it was my saving grace. However, I actually had to go through the grieving process properly after I got clean. Moral of the story: we're all different and handle things differently. Pure heroin by itself is not the devil. The black market and price of it is what causes the thieving, lying arsehole to manifest itself in most cases. Matthew seems like a lovely guy. I wish him the best of luck. I hope he makes it out the other side.
If they made opioids legal, sell it in special places or pharmacies, for cheap ....it would solve so many problems, saved so many lives, so much money ...it's not even funny. America is so stu*id it's unbelievable, and thanks to her ignorance and puritanism, the whole World has to suffer.
I was a functioning daily heroin user for years. Married, two amazing kids, six figure salary job. No one had any idea. The wheels finally came off, went to detox, did 100+ days inpatient rehab and I’ve come pretty close to building my life back.
I can relate and I was born in 1982. I think it has more to do with children and their relationships with their parents, more so the father and the level of closeness and ability to relate/shared interests. Verbal abuse as well doesn’t get as much credit for wreckage as it should....My thoughts anyways.
Elder millennial here. Born in 82. I was really lucky to not have a dad, but my grandpa was my father figure. He taught me a lot about life, lots of skills, etc. A lot of people my age don’t know how to do a lot of these things, and I’m always 110% down to teach them. I realized not having my dad, but my papaw, was probably the best thing pretty early on. My bio dad is only good at drugs and drinking 😒
Do you notice how he’s so specific and descriptive? That comes from his Dad. He feels if he doesn’t explain each detail exactly no one will understand him. I bet it’s a huge fear for him.
I feel like this comment made me realize so much about myself haha. I explain every single detail so that people can “understand” me. I’m the youngest of 5 and never felt heard… seems so obvious but I’ve honestly never realized this before 🤯
@@michellewormuth9919 it’s most common among middle children. I myself am a middle child and have been this way my entire life. It also is due to a lack of self worth in some instances. Usually at no fault of their own but because of specific personality traits that seem to be brought on by simple interactions with other as well as traumatic experiences that the person has never forgotten.
@@Henchmayn it’s true. It usually makes people hyper sensitive to others and very thoughtful and caring individuals. Also they are usually very affectionate people and understand the importance of thankfulness and showing love and respect for others. Not always but most of the time.
That’s me to a “T”!!!!! I know I am doing it and in my head I’m saying “SHUT UP SHANNON!!!! They don’t need to know EVERY detail about what your saying!” But I can’t stop myself. I have an older brother who wasn’t raised with me but my ex was EXTREMELY abusive in EVERY way so maybe that’s where it comes from. I hate being that way!!!!
Ive started taking mushroom powders in my morning tea and give supplements to one of my teenagers. Such a difference. Mushrooms are the hidden gem. Mother nature has everything we need.
My son was functional, until he wasn’t. He died 9/6/21 from an overdose, and we are left trying to pick up the pieces. God Bless Matthew, I really hope he is able to get off that shit. Please don’t die, as it destroyed you and all those around you.. It is fu*ked up Matthew and getting off of it is critical for a positive life…
It’s so fucking hard, but I promise you can do it. Especially if you can find a loved one to care take for you for 2 weeks or so. It’ll be so much cheaper, they’ll have genuine love for you, and you won’t starve or lay in filth or have to lay and suffer thirsty for hours because of the pain. My big thing was food and water. I had such a hard time keeping stuff down and it made the pain worse and more intense. Hydration and sufficient meals are key. You need to replenish all b vitamins, d vitamin, and c vitamin for sure. I have chronic gastritis, GERD, and ibs so turmeric with breakfast WORKS WONDERS
I got off of heroin because I wanted a better life and my poor parents deserved some peace. I didn’t want to die in my addiction. I overdosed a few times but luckily someone found me.
@@Onelightoftheworld I am so happy for you!!! Thank God someone saved you when you overdosed. God Bless you and I wish you continued vigilance in your fight against addiction…
Most things people refer to as "punk" or "punk rock" just aren't in the slightest. But, by the original "definition" of punk, Blink-182 was punk for sure. I can't speak on anything they're doing currently because I have no clue what they're up to, but being punk is just being original or unique or true to yourself. It isn't about spikes or leather or trend following or even trend setting. But I'm just a fool. Kids today would call me an oppressive gatekeeper for stating such things lol
I graduated from college and held down a job while being addicted to opiates. And yes the most sensitive people are drawn to drugs because of the emotional pain in life. Some of the kindest people i met were addicts. Till drugs finally made them die, your soul dies before your physical body.
The way he describes how heroin first felt is exactly how I describe the high when I started doing molly. That feeling of “this is exactly what I was looking for, what I needed, and I had no idea it even existed.” I will never ever try heroin because I know I will love it.
@@RickyM247 I hope you're trolling. Not every experience is the same for every one, for you it wasn't something you felt the need to come back to. For others it immediately becomes something they NEED use. I'm not trying to be rude, but your comment is rather ignorant.
@@RickyM247 not everyone gets addicted until they finally try something that theyve been looking for, i never got addicted to molly and coke but i got addicted to pain killers and nicotine, everyone is different x
heroin is literally nothing like MDMA, well hopefully MDMA hopefully youre not getting meth in your tablets or some research chemical and someones selling them to you as MDMA.. but honestly actually getting real ecstasy tablets is pretty fucking rare especially from the street but yeah dont try heroin (i say this as i inhale smoke, literally right fuckin now as i watch this, directly into my lungs……so im kinda a hypocrite?) but for real dont try it youll want to kill yourself by the time withdrawals b hittin anywya though heroin is a PAIN KILLER mdma is has structural similarities to AMPHETAMINE and METHAMPHETAMINE, which are classic STIMULANTS. the two are literally nothing like each other
Bro fuck what your dad thinks You do you fuck it bro My dads no good Neither is my mom its whatever bro life goes on just be strong 💪 check out the youtuber buff dudes he will make ur life better.even if u dont workout
I was a functioning heroin/fentanyl addict for years. Two jobs, in college, even on the deans list. Then the drought hit. I had no idea what pain meant until then. I went three days without and truly felt like I was dying from the inside out. My “friend” said the only thing that would help was shooting some meth and at that point I would have done anything to stop the pain so I did and it helped. After that my addiction spun out of control. I ended up in jail last year which forced me to be fully sober for the first time since I started using so many years ago. I thank God everyday for that. Saved my life. I’ve been sober since October 2020 and I’ve never felt better! You can do it! Find good people to surround yourself with and keep yourself distracted!
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
He reminds me of my oldest brother. Highly intelligent, great at recalling stories, and deeply insecure. My brother, however, is not a functioning addict. He's just an addict. I miss him.
My alcoholic brother had a really nice older Acura and he crashed it twice; bought two more acuras, crashing thrice more. Coke man. He was in such a bad place. My sister and I had to pick him up from a motel when a transvestite stole his keys. That’s when he crashed for the final time. But he’s kinda better place now and taking sobriety months at a time. Hopefully your brother can get better too.
I mean...you know this isn't a pro-being a heroin addict video, right? Like...the message here isn't "BE A HEROIN ADDICT." The message is addicts are people too.
I had a friend just like this guy. From his addiction story to how drugs affected him. Always well spoken and articulate as hell, RIP Ben you are missed
Sad part is guys like him also me, we want so desperately to fit into society but we take drugs to not be targeted or outcasted 24/7. It must feel so good to be normal
It feels the best when you find your high outside yourself, let’s say music, nature, funny people, interesting studies and when you make someone else happy; addictions turn people inwards and the dark side of ego becomes insatiable.
As soon as he mentioned Roxies, Blink 182, the original Oxy80’s I knew he had to be my age. I can relate to him wholeheartedly. Went through all of those phases of opiate use, finally got on Methadone, and I am 5 years clean now after 12 years of using. My whole 20’s was a drug and alcohol fueled mess. Glad I made it to 34 and I hate that people are scared to talk about addiction. We need to continue to talk about it and stop stigmatizing us addicts in active use or recovery. Thanks!
Yeah same,just turned 40 and finally after somehow surviving my 20s and 30s I finally decided to start at my local clinic after my 2nd overdose in 3 days,I was finally done,that was March 28th 2018,methadone saved my life! Congrats on your sobriety keep it going!!
Him talking bout licking off the coating of the Roxys I got such flashbacks. I've been a functional addict on and off for the past 18 years. My first time getting clean my family had NO clue I was on dope till I said something. After losing my 1st husband and 3 family members back to back I released, got clean, then relapsed again 3 years ago. I have been clean a month and finally started counseling. I mean dude seems like he is in complete denial. He has MAJOR dad issues and probably never sought help for his mental health issues
Ya. All us 80s babies truly lived that moment in time. We either saw it thru to see the clinic or we Overdoses in 2014 or there after when the fetty hit. I've had 2 Yeats clean only to start chipping and now I'm using daily. Just rejoined the clinic. Nobody has any idea this time. Totaly functional. But I can't do it. I don't wana. Back on the clinic, glad it's there for us. All that's left is fetty now, there aren't even percent 30s anymore. Everything is pressed fetty. I smoked so.many percent between 2015 and 16 that I gave myself cancer. Smoking 30 fn percent a day off foil totaly fucked my lungs. Luckily I recovered. Man what a life we've all lived
Good for you as a junkie for over fifty years I have to say I no longer pretend I want to stop, I do not hide it or defend it, I accept it and others can either accept that or just reject me.
Breaks my heart how he still blames himself for his childhood. Man, if you're reading this- that isn't your burden to carry. You were a kid who felt unsafe and that wasn't "your fault" that the cops came. You did the right thing for your protection and following your instincts, even though it feels so complicated with family. Never apologize for feeling unsafe, you do deserve better. I can tell he loved his parents. Dude has a great heart.
Thanks man. Some people on these comments are comparing it to getting Beat as a child and saying I didn’t have it as bad or that I’m just a privileged white person. This world is so fucked up these days
Those people will go along with any dominant opinion, no matter what it is or how out of touch it might be. It is fucked up. There is power in numbers. If only those people realized the influence that they could have, instead of letting their fear of being an outsider in their opinion rule them. Their perception sucks. Not worthy of taking you down with it. There is good out there though. I think everyone needs healing
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with health issues like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them but it's just hard to source out here.
I was having this constant and unbearable anxiety because of university stress. Not until I came across Ted Winston, a very intelligent mycologist, He saved my life honestly.
@Dude its worse when you realize nobody actually cares if you live or die. That's why I had this fucking huge breakdown when I had my kid. For the first time in my life I had someone/something that I had to answer to, that needed and loved me. IT was fucking terrifying. The only thing almost as terrifying was the day I realized I had no one. Kind of ironic the only thing more terrifying than that was realizing that I had someone. LOL
@@ashleyhumbyrd7274 It's also specifically from the PAWS that naloxone throws you into. It's like the worst form of instant withdrawals the reversal drug can throw you into. You're the sickest you can possibly be, and almost nothing but time can get you better. You can go fix up, but it's near useless unless you do a stupidly ridiculous amount, which might cause you to OD once the Narcan wears off in like another hour or so.
The woman I wanted to marry was a highly functional heroin addict. She was such an incredible human, always taking care of everyone else, no matter what. She died of an overdose 2 1/2 years ago. Growing up near Philly, I lost a lot of people to heroin and pills. It's a shame. I'm fortunate I kept myself clean.
I do oxy pills 🥲 lately my doses have skyrocketed. At what point is considered deadly?? Apparently my mother said I slur my speech on them now. It must break her heart but I’m in a huge addiction and can’t stop.
Yesssss Philly…Kensington to be exact has been CRAZZYYY!! 😩🥺🥺🥺. it looks like a zombie apocalypse out there. I wish I could help many addicts that want to be helped, not all are bad people man. Some are shitty people because there are shitty people out there regardless of drugs or not but yeah man, god bless everyone 🙏🏼💕
I LOVE LOVE LOVE Matthew’s vibe. Genuinely love his disposition, his vibe, his attitude and his style is so dope. He doesn’t make excuses for himself and that’s refreshing.
I worked with a guy like this he was productive at work and he confided in me on one occasionabout his addiction. I never would have guessed he had zero signs. A year later our boss called us all in one morning for a speech which he did periodically through the year but this time I got a different vibe right away the boss announced this guy passed away in his "sleep". RIP M
I was a functioning heroin/fentanyl addict for 2 years. I’ve been clean for over a year after 3 overdoses and a year of methadone treatment. Getting off drugs was the hardest thing and probably will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Hang in there, life gets better once you kick the bad habits.❤
Congratulations on your sobriety. Only people who've themselves experienced addiction can truly understand what an incredible victory sobriety is. It takes a special individual to survive and conquer opioid addiction, especially methadone. So just know, you're a badass.
@@hattchetman_2128 Why you spreadin negativity bud? It doesn't matter, the intensity of a person's addiction. If someone is reliant upon a substance to attain their daily goals, and/or find happiness or meaning in their lives, they're an addict. Doesn't matter if they've been relying on it for a couple months, or a couple years. We should hold each other up my friend. We're special. We've seen a side of life that many never will, and it provides us with a deeper insight, and empathy for others in a similar situation. We need to care about each other, because most of these Doctors don't give a shit. Most of society doesn't give a shit. So if we don't recognize, and love and help each other, who else will?
This is a highly intelligent young man that wasn’t invested in. He needs to cultivate his mind! He gets bored because he’s highly intelligent and needs to use his mind. I hope the absolute best for this guy! He could be incredible!
@Christian Constitutionalist that's a pretty callous statement. The system we live in doesn't inspire people to believe in themselves. At least in the US. Public schooling is a fucking joke. Corporate America is the standard litmus test for "success". Mental health issues are still taboo. I mean there is a plethora of shit that keeps humans bonded to this cyclic and toxic cycle. Those aren't excuses man. Those are facts of life that fucking suck. I feel for this guy, because I had the same problem with prescription meds. Same shit, different hook. Piece of shit doctors getting kickbacks for getting people addicted to something they don't need to be on. The only difference with heroin is it's not legal.
@@MatthewAndrewDrake Dude Wish you all the best in life. I have known good people get clean from many years of heroin use and now live deeply fulfilled lives; their own companies , wives and children, good friends and family. All love to you on your journey
@Christian Constitutionalist I hope you are able to accomplish everything you want to in your life. Life isn’t a race. Some people don’t achieve their dreams until retirement in their 70s. Everyone grows at their own pace. Give yourself a break @Christian Constitutionalist seems like you’ve been rushed in life. Blessings to you. And quick reminders that Jesus didn’t begin his career until 30-33 years old. The teachings of grace by Jesus extends across all ages.
I believe disappointing loved ones has alot to do with feeling that way, as I parent I really believe in showing my kids that self love and becoming their own person without being influenced by other people including myself is essential In their happiness and success. I'm here to guide them on the right path and give them guidance. Pay attention to the people around you, comments like that can be a cry for help
This guy is so broken from lack of being loved. Affection is so important as a kid. Being wanted and loved goes so far and the lack there of does as well. This guy has potential, he communicates very well. Hope he makes it out.
Heroin really helps if you feel a lack of love, fear of abandonment, lonely or any negative feelings get quickly dissipated and you can continue your day. But if you have goals and want to be something you realize it's only slowing you down.
@@Z3sty367 there are many ways to escape definitely. I think having a hobby is the best remedy, it helped me out of my depression and helps with my anxiety. Finding a reason to live is so important above all tho.
being loved as a kid is overrated. Lack of being overly affectionate with a kid can make them crave that love as an adult, it makes you hard but it doesnt necesarily make you a jerk. Its different than being abused, its not really a bad thing in my opinion. I was deprived of love as a kid and i turned out fine, it just made me love my girl as an adult that much more
@@Z3sty367 I've never done opiates other than when I got my wisdom teeth out, but I used to browse drug forums and the way that nearly all the opiate users, especially the ones who shoot up talk about heroin and other opiates is kind of interesting. The best way to describe it is like being in love. They write poetry and talk about the feeling of being high exactly the same way someone might for their girlfriend. People who quit talk about it like losing a lover. You don't see this kind of talk with addicts of any other class of drug.
My best friend was a lot like this guy. Died from an overdose. Casual heroine use makes you have a lesser tolerance. One strong dose and this guy will die. RIP John. I miss you so much.
someone was explaining to me that basically you get use to the high but the effects on your central nervous system etc still are there and you can't get use to those, eventually no matter what at some point you will overdose even if you are use to it when you keep bumping your doses, your body can only handle so much stuff. Rest In Peace
I lost all my best friends to overdoses and I’m an ex heroin meth user myself.,, I’m sorry that happened man. If I ever mess up I try to be careful and immediately reach out for help
Bad time to believe in yourself, all hope is lost in America at this point, u less you want to be broke you’re entire life and/or rely on the government. But the upper middle class is destroyed and won’t be coming back anytime soon
@@ShinyFlakesShinyFlakes Why are you specifying the upper middle class? Fuck the upper middle class. The working and lower middle class is what’s needed
@@JamesThomas-xv4tf well obviously it’s because I’m a part of the upper middle class, and while I don’t like saying “fuck the middle and lower class”, it’s pretty good damn frustrating when I see over $10,000 a month being stolen from me in taxes. Expand your horizons buddy, it’s very clear you are uneducated and broke. Strive to be better dude, you don’t need to be poor you’re entire life, but with your attitude, trust me, you will be.
This guys addiction mirrors my own. I always held down employment, managed to support my own addiction and was able to function. Though I was suffering daily, but not every addict is an out of control raging crime driven junky.
That is a very tough thing to do though because u always have to keep your habit at bay which is very hard to keep that at a reasonable $ amount over time. Then u can’t get it early enough and r late to work. It’s not about being a raging idiot that does stupid crimes to afford habit cause that won’t last u will be to sick one day and go to jail cause ur slipping. It’s just very hard to keep a normal life at least 4 me it was. I was very functional cause it sped me up more than made me nod out. It’s just the hectic things that u can’t always account for and being able to keep your habit at a reasonable $ amount like I said.
Man I used to be this guy. "It makes me feel normal, makes me happy, makes me energetic, it doesn't affect me negatively," and then he started tearing up when he talked about his OD. Ten years sober this past September. I truly wish you the best of luck, Matthew. I hope you get clean some day, for yourself and no one else.
My ex-boyfriend is a functional addict as well. He is a teacher. He never tried to get clean because he always said that as long as he was functional, everything was OK... it really wasn't. It recently started to catch up on him, and that's when I left him. I really hope he can make it out... he does seem like a sweet, down-to-earth guy. He deserves better.
@@vgspotting5331you can only help people, especially addicts, as much as they let you. Ultimately it is their battle to fight and loved ones of addicts shouldn’t blame themselves for leaving unhealthy situations.
All of these subjects who start out with "I had a good, normal childhood" always progress into stories of their parents and you realize that the parents were trash and their childhood was in fact, not normal or good.
Not for nothing but he did have a pretty normal childhood. Nobody’s parents are perfect. We can’t just ignore the fact that he’s admittedly a drug addict. Not everyone turns to drugs because their parents drink and yell at them. We all have choices to make. We need to stop trying to find ways to justifying doing drugs. Sounds like he never had any drive to overcome his problems. My childhood wasn’t perfect but I still know right from wrong. There are exceptions obviously but it’s not like the guy isn’t educated. He’s pretty damn intelligent .
That's the thought I had. They, but especially, the interviewer kept being amazed at how this guy appears normal, has a job etc, that's because the only drug users the sheltered person knows are the screaming in public/scabs on face/tweaking like hell type. Fact is most people that use you wouldn't even know. The general public have probably met users and were amazed and wooed by their social fluency/energy/quick wit/etc and never realized that was due to crystal meth or coke or whatever. It's a loud minority. There's no way to put a number on it but i'd say 85% of users have no outwardly telling signs or behaviour and lead normal lives. The amount of people working in bars, especially people-facing roles(bartender etc) who use cocaine/meth/speed down here in Australia is astronomical. If you're reading this and you're a shy person who dreams of confidence and thinks this is the solution, know you are the highest risk group for dependence, just work on yourself it's possible.
ive used opiates daily for about 5 years now and nobody really on a personal level knows. none of my family, coworkers, or anything. just a very few small amount of close friends. without it i feel like shit. im lethargic. i basically cant function but as soon as i get a little buzz its like i chugged the worlds strongest coffee. ive tried quitting but always come back. theres many people like me but none of us are really open about it. well, functioning addicts that is.
I snorted an oxycontin pill in 2002 and it was the ultimate feeling. I'd never done anything with drugs prior to that. It give me energy and I fell great ! I become addicted to it for 5 yrs. and have been off it for 12 yrs. I don't even think about it and I do not miss it. It was the most horrible time of my life
As a recovering addict, this guy is 100% how I felt using oxy. It made me feel like "me" when in reality it's just the drug tricking my brain. You can't become "you" when you're on something - it's just the thing you're using. Opiates was so difficult to come off of. I resulted to low, scumbag shit just to get a few pills. I hated what I'd become. I'm thankful to be clean today because I have purpose and drive in my life now. Thanks for sharing your story homie
@@theforbiddenbean5600 just don't try to kick it until you're ready. Big problem I had with opiates was *always* feeling shitty about it and actively trying to quit. It ends up demoralizing the shit outta you and making you feel like you'll never get healthy. Just have fun until you actually know that you're going to quit, and then quit.
@@SallionMang that’s absolutely awful advice to give someone when the current drug market is full of nothing but fake perc 30s that are really pressed fentanyl in whatever amount the dealer made it and people think it’s regular oxy, and same thing with heroin, most of it isn’t even heroin anymore, it’s either just straight up fentanyl or it’s a mix. “Just have fun with it until you’re ready to quit” definitely ain’t it bro
What he said about his brain telling himself, "This is what you've always needed, this is how life is supposed to be"-- that really hit hard. That's exactly how I felt, like I could live life. I didn't struggle doing normal things like socializing, going grocery shopping, and even working became fun.
Yeah, he definitely made me want to try heroin lol. But, after wasting years of my youth with weed, I know better. Once you get a taste, you never want to give it up.
getting on heroin was defiantly a upgrade for me it made life better the only negative aspect was the WD's I have been clean for the last 20 years now I don't go to AA or NA i Don't need it to be clean i just chose not to but when it comes down to it yes heroin was fun and a great experience and it made my life better I just operate better with it since then I have found a plant named kratom and I take that daily it's not heroin but it helps
@@MatthewAndrewDrake hey dude, you’re such a cool bloke, really loved this interview. Wish I could meet u feel like we’re on the same level haha but yeh u killed it
@@MatthewAndrewDrake hey, have you watched the recent Dr. Hart and Joe Rogan interview. Dr. Hart studies all drugs and effects and the road to legalization.
Heroin today is nothing like it used to be in the 80s and 90s. Its mostly cut with more crap than ever. I was a heroin addict for over 25 years,i have been clean for just under 2 years, one of the reasons i stopped because the heroin was so poor.
Same here. When they started cutting it with fent. Can't stand that stuff. Would make me vomit for a whole day and I barely did enough to feel it. So I ended up quitting
0:03 @@HudsonJayHey dude, you can still have that same feeling with the help of dr.johnsonshrooo He's the most knowledgeable about psychedelics that I know.
Most of it is now primarily fentanyl with animal tranquilizer in it. It's gotten almost impossible to find anything on the street that isn't cut that way, based on testing of drug seizures in the last 3 years. On the West Coast, even when it is heroine, they still put the tranq in it since it lets them use less of the heroine and still give a high that is similar enough for the user while the tranq is really cheap for them to get with a few greased palms since it is barely regulated in any country.
@@joseluki I’m sure if you did an interview about the worst part of your life you’d have people saying they love you and that you’re intelligent as well.
i was just like this dude. a “functioning” addict. after 5 years it became a mostly a money issue than health. almost 3 years clean now.. feel for this guy.
I have to take Norco and Tramadol and some kind of Robaxin muscle medicine everyday after three back surgeries. It does not make the pain go away. It just makes it tolerable so I go to work, drive, and function. My greatest fear of pain medicines is that someday the pain might get so bad I might have to take the real heavy drugs. Try to avoid back surgeries.
@@MatthewAndrewDrake I'm going to have to finish the second half later but I if you're not in recovery now I pray you get there. I, too, am an addict but I'm in recovery for 4+ yrs and I totally understand. Blessings 🙏🏻
I’m an addict. I was too “functional” at certain points in my life. I am now on methadone and have been for 5 years on and off. I still struggle every single day. I had some time clean and now, I’m right back to facing possibly losing everything I have. Addiction is fucking horrible. I wouldn’t wish withdrawal on my worst enemy, man. Thanks for another wholesome interview.
As someone who grew up with an older sibling who is an addict, I don’t think people realize that addicts are also just that - normal people. While he seems like a great guy and higher functioning than most, most people are great people just with an ugly addiction. So happy he’s gotten clean and hope this opens many people’s eyes to the reality of what addiction looks like for so many.
Yeah i always thought an addict was a different type of person and that i could predict who was going to be an addict. Then i became an addict and had to re think the whole issue.
Same here, I was "functional" until I wasn't. All it takes its one bad event and sends you down a spiral you can't hold onto. I was good for like 8 years, then a depressive, wreckless mess for 2yrs. Lost friends, family, jobs. I'm now on a path of sobriety I never thought was possible. Approaching 2 months clean of heroin, weed, ect. I occasionally drink, but for the most part, I'm just naturally joyful nowadays. Seriously, we'll say anything to rationalize our habits. But in the end, it's a demon that wants your soul. Eventually, it WILL end in death. Abstinence is the best way to live a fulfilling life!
I was thinking the same thing, but my drug of choice was alcohol. Meth, heroin, and everything else were just fun things to add for an extra buzz if I came across them. I was "functional" up until physical dependency hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't go longer than an hour without a drink before I'd start shaking, puking and getting panic attacks and seizures. I was putting back between 20 and 30 tall cans of steel reserve a day, calling myself "functional." Like you said, we all say we're functional to justify the fact that we're full blown addicted. I hope you're doing well.
@@lflex6864 yess! I'm really good! 4/20/24 I reached 1 yr sober & still rolling strong! From unemployed junkie to $50k/yr within a year. Sobriety is still the way to go...
@@monytontana5184 My deepest respect. I was a depressive, suicidal wreck for a long long time without an addiction on top. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to have to deal with an addiction on top of something like that.
That moment where he said he OD and started choking up I felt that. I lost my best friend and almost lost another good friend from an overdose. I never even knew they were doing it. Kills me ever day he’s not here.
Hey, man. I hope you yourself are doing well. Losing a friend is something that I haven't experienced, but you are in my thoughts and I wish you well in everything that you do. May you find peace in your grieving.💯
That's me to a T. Nothing I do ever feels good enough nor do I feel like I've accomplished anything in my life. Oh well, life keep on so I do as well lol.
I was a funtioning addict for 4 years. Eventually your tolerance gets too high and money runs out... that's when it starts ruining your life. When he says he just needs to be locked up for 30 days 🥺... that's exactly what I needed too. 6 weeks locked up in treatment and I'm 19 months clean now
I’m about to quit myself. What do you think was the hardest thing about quitting? Are you currently on any maintenance medication like methadone and Suboxone? I have Suboxone, and I’m going to try to just sit at home and take those when I start to feel shitty, but do you have any other advice for things to do when craving or methods you’ve used to stay sober? Any help or advice would be very much appreciated!
@@Ari6lle1nWonderl2nd I did take suboxone for a full year. I am off of it now. The withdrawal for that sucks too, but not nearly as bad and I still recommend using it as an aid. If you can go to detox, I highly suggest it. Liquid calcium helps with the shakes, and if you can get a prescription for clonidine it would help too. Stick it out! I promise it'll be worth it. I rarely have cravings now, and when I do, I "play the tape". This is a method they teach in NA. Remind yourself of what will happen after you use. I don't know about you, but I would ruin my life and I don't think I have another relapse left in me. I'd probably end up dead. I'm not a huge fan of NA but I did learn some useful tools in the program and meeting people who can relate to you is helpful. There are people who care and their stories are inspiring. Reach out when you're struggling. It's going to be hard at first but it gets so much easier and positive things will start to happen and encourage you to keep on your path. I don't know you, but I'm proud of you and wish you all the best. You can do this, freedom is waiting for you 🖤
Man this dude seems wicked chill. He's so nice and intelligent. I feel I could talk to this dude for hours about life...Always stay true to yourself Matthew .
@@MatthewAndrewDrake please I encourage you to go back to the clinic... often to get clean and not carry an opioid tolerance makes you more susceptible to death from using during initial relapse period. it takes dedication to stay clean pass frequent drug tests and drive to the clinic but after a year, only having to go once a month I find very manageable and it works well for me... idk if I'll ever get off methadone completely but medicaid pays for mine so its govt subsidized free harm reduction that works.
@@MatthewAndrewDrake My advice. Find someone you can fall in love with and start a family. I'm not telling you what to do, it just helped make me the man I am today. For me it makes a big difference when someone calls you dad.
26/1/2020 the last time i did heroin,the next morning checked myself into rehab. I was away for 13 months,as of today i am living my best life,sober and fully aware of what’s going on.
Super proud of you -- keep up the good work!! Until I found this channel, I had a really negative view of all addicts because of what my Mum put me through... She had tons of chances, tons of resources, tons of forgiveness & support. But she wouldn't take them. Even after getting clean & removing all the triggering people/phone #s out of her life, she just... Found new shitty influences. New drugs. The fact of the matter was she would rather be high & screw people over. I thought all addicts were like her... I'm glad I was wrong. Watching these interviews & reading through the comments has really opened my eyes to the experience of so many people struggling. That has helped me to humanize people & realize that, at the core of addiction, is often pain. Not a desire to simply "have fun" at someone else's expense. I've been trying to humanize her, but... I've just been hurt too many times & I don't think I'm there yet. Hearing stories like yours is truly inspiring to me! Thank you for sharing it.
Literally every man I've met who has issues, the underlying story is they were looking admiration from their father but didn't get it. It's incredible how important that is for a child and and the damage it will do the rest of peoples life, it's devastating.
These are precisely the kinds of personal projects I want to shoot. Absolutely incredible style, well made, and of course the content does all of the real heavy lifting. Love Matthew's story and just seen in the comments that you did another interview with him, surely watching that next. Really do aspire to be able to create pieces of work that document these kinds of stories to the same caliber as you one day Mark. Well done.
His braveness to open up like this is admirable. He looks like a very good person with a terrible problem. I hope him the best, he can have a bright future, has communication skills and a very sincere way of speaking. He is much more powerful than the problems he has or has had... Hopefully he will notice
I guarantee you and I say this with no disrespect. I guarantee you he opened like this because I guarantee you he smoked herion before this interview. Trust me if not he wouldn't be calm and as relaxed as he is
I like that you've shown someone that is functional so the world can understand that it's not always about stereotypes. It can be your next door neighbor in the suburbs or your big corporate boss(which is pretty normal). Thanks for this. Hope he decides to get sober soon.
I'm 35. I had an opiate pain pill addiction for 15 years before I decided to finally switch to the needle going on 3 years now. This life is hell and there is nothing fun about it. It gets to the point where all you're doing is trying to get by. You rarely actually get high anymore, you just feel normal for a few hours til you start feeling like death and it's time to hunt down more just to feel better.. then you wake up and do it all again the next day. It's a never ending cycle. Please stay away from hard drugs.
I drank and did opiates for about 20 years heavily. Never used a needle but I did heroin, suboxones, methadone, anything I could get. When you first stop you feel like you're always gonna wake up craving it but I guarantee you it goes away eventually. I don't know where you live but I would recommend getting kratom for the withdrawal and quitting. Kratom is amazing for the withdrawal just don't keep taking it cause you can certainly get addicted to it.
I did the same thing as you. You can get clean, I injected heroin for about 5 years. I'm 2 years clean from everything. What did it for me is extended release sublocade. Get on it if you can. It dissipates so slowly in your system over time you don't even have any withdrawls, mentally or physically. That was my situation anyways. It's a once a month injection into your belly muscle or fat, not sure which, felt like muscle though, it stings but it's worth any discomfort.
I can relate being near Philly. At 37 yrs old... I recall having trauma and abuse as a child which led to pills to heroin and eventually the needle. After 15 yrs of on and off sobriety short lived being on subs and methadone. Over three years ago I quit cold turkey and haven't picked up since. Best decision of my life. While I see everyone around me dying. My heart breaks but I'm glad God had another plan
I am a semi functional fentanyl addict. I held down full time job, housing and all my needs were met. But my quality of life suffered. I didn’t spend my money on anything nice for myself. I covered my needs, but that was it. I am currently 2 weeks clean and in a treatment facility now, to work on my mental health and and quality of life. I have definetely been on the other side though, being homeless, no money and doing as much dope as I could. Methadone has definetely helped me stabilize and be productive.
That’s great that the methadone is helping you maintain a better quality of life. Thankfully I’ve never been addicted to opiates/opioids but I have my own addictive tendencies that I have to manage. Take it a day at a time and keep up the good work!
@@Ceej_From_The_DMV Thanks brother. Knowing yourself is more than half the battle. It’s easier to prevent it from happening than recovering from it. I definetely haven’t always been productive. Years ago I was much worse off, homeless. Nothing to my name. Just chasing drugs. Not worth it man. I have so much advice and wisdom I wish I could share.
@@ZERELA666 I can’t even fathom that man. It doesn’t really get more rock bottom than that. What pushed you to recovery? And are you doing any type of 12 step program?
He's functioning. He's surviving. That doesn't mean he's okay. It takes one time for it to be laced with too much fentanyl . So many people OD beyond return. Like he said. He wants to heal. You can tell. Here's to you man. You're gonna make it.
He said that he smokes his heroin. You probably don’t know much about heroin or the different ways to use it (which is a really good thing) but people who od from heroin are the people who use a needle and shoot up. When you’re smoking heroin it’s pretty close to literally impossible for you to od, regardless of whether or not it’s laced with fentanyl. His story about the one time he od’d he was doing straight fentanyl and he was snorting it. But when it comes to smoking heroin, you’ll pretty much always nod off before being able to smoke enough to actually od.
It’s very strange, people keep saying “he seems like a nice guy you’d never know” SO many addict are amazing sensitive people. It’s so sad that so many people just think an addict is a bad person.
Right!?
I agree but theres people i know who were great people before hard drugs and then turned to a manipulative monster just to get there hands on drugs, theres bad addicts because of the drugs there addicted too. It sucks but theres not much you can do about an addict besides watch or try and get them help that they likely wont want
Right? Thank you.
Drug addicts are on average better people than non addicts. People who go through more shit are just kinder not to mention far more interesting
@@johnhopkins7039 im an addict. Heroin addict clean 5 years i have not met a ton of nice wholesome addicts while using... But after they get clean i agree with you.
I was a functioning addict for almost ten years until I ended up in a hospital. 7 months clean and life is amazing ❤️
Edit: 2 years now ❤️
Edit: 3 years now ❤️
Edit: 4 years now ❤️
Good for you dude
Beautiful! Stay Strong sweetie! Just as many people who are on it, there's just as many success stories of people staying clean also!
Congrats to you, keep it up!!
Keep it up pal
Congratulations!
I was once a functioning heroin addict, until I ran out of money. Eventually, no matter how much your making, you can't keep up with the ever increasing habit. Over 2 year clean from everything now.
Happy for you and yours, and for addicts ready to hear your comment who stumble across it: it’s doable. Thanks for posting.
Hi Brett... good for you!! How did you eventually stop?
How:(
@@iradhackleenmacaba6747 by not using? Tf you mean
@@thefacelessasmrtist468 It’s not always that easy, sometimes you need help. Heroin withdrawal can kill you so if someone who’s addicted is asking for help let’s not snap at them. ✌️
It’s amazing to me that almost every interview, the person being interviewed speaks for so long after the first question. You can really tell that they’re exited to speak. Maybe for the money, maybe for the therapy. Either way, these people get to have a voice for a moment. That’s beautiful
They're not used to people listening to them and when Mark does it encourages them to keep talking
Well, they interview the ones that don't talk...
exactly@@curiousme113
Regarding the numb hand waking up at night, I get that too alot! But I think it's cos I've slept on it lol
When I went to therapy
At first I was quiet
After a while it got a lot easier
"I was never good enough for my dad"
That one statement tells me everything.
Me too. I can relate. Never good enough for my Mom.
Same
Same here
A child has their own self imposed feelings of what they think are their parents standards! Most times, it is the child who is making their own evaluation of themselves. Most often a child sees the parent as a goal of sorts. A child will never be the same age of the biological parent at the same time. The parent will never return to the child’s age at the same time. Never be the same at the same time. SMH!
@@aliseegenuine6414 So very true.
I was a functioning addict on oxy and fentanyl laced pills until I ran out on vacation. sober since July, 9 months sober!
Keep it up bro good job. I’m going on 4 months off of heroin. 209 in the house haha
@@Smacks1 415, NorCal! All us Bay heads, like us
@@Ron-ec4pf can u help?
@corey R, there are medications which can help with opioid withdrawals, but your better to do it cold turkey as you can re train the associations in your brain. I was a coke addict but managed to get off it cold turkey and did a rehab course by a company called Intuitive Recovery which I would highly recommend for someone trying to get over drug abuse
@@coreyr.2171 I wasn’t able to pull cold turkey myself I had gone to a rehab and they use Suboxon to help. If u haven’t tried kratom then id say try it out. I’m no doctor by any means but I looked it up and decided to try it and it actually did help for withdrawal. Do your own research and decide if it’s something u wanna try. Best of luck to u bro
I feel like he’s really hurt inside but he tries to hide that cause people think that he had an “easy” life, the suffering of other people don’t erase your suffering
🎯
That’s a good point
@@iimDanii I'm dirty Dan!
@@Joseph-gq9us no IM dirty dan god damnit
this is why i tried xans a few years ago. i’m lucky i didn’t ruin my life. you called it spot on tho🖤💯🙏
Don’t try these drugs, people. I just went to an 18 year olds funeral and it was absolutely devastating
He should be a writer. I love the way he tells his story. Addiction is sadly such a thief of sensitive souls.
I would but it’s hard for me to care about creating things and showing people. I put my heart and soul into being a musician until I was 27 and gave up and started the opiates. Now I’m clean and felt really creative and made some new songs. Still nobody really cared that much. Maybe I’m just not that great at music. I can’t imagine my writing being any better or more enticing or impactful or whatever people need.
@@MatthewAndrewDrake Sometimes we are just not creating the right thing as the right time, or we are not there yet. But your story is compelling and you have a voice. I wish you all the best and thanks for answering.
That's beautifully and well said i never heard anyone say that I'm gonna steal it thank you
@@MatthewAndrewDrake Explain. I need a concise summary of what exactly you’re trying to convey here. Hurry up I don’t have all night. If you’re serious we can exchange a meeting. Dress business casual, and don’t waste my time.
@@teo5836 👎🏿
This dude looks like he's gonna invent the personal computer
Steve Wazniak clone for sure
I work in IT and my coworker Elliott looks and sounds just like this dude, he's also from the Hayward area lol
🤣🤣🤣
Waz lol
😂
I know so many guys like this. Addiction doesn’t mean someone is a bad person. Sending him luck and well wishes.
Absolutely and I agree
Absolutely.
Correct
Oh yeah many people, technically we all our addicts in one way or another
@vor 11 Monaten I only mean in the legal sense. I am in no position to make judgments of anyone but myself.
This guy is a really good story teller, most people overlook it but thats actually a talent not alot of people have, was engaged the whole time. ur a cool guy matt
Drugs are cool. That's why
Funny, I came to the comments looking for someone saying the opposite. He has that habit of many drug users to tell stories which must seem interesting in their heads but came out as confused and random. I think it has something to do with the delivery; emphasis at weird parts, no build up, etc. The way he tells stories is what gives him away as a heavy user
this guy is a terrible storyteller and completely retarded. He cried that he ODed, your doing drugs moron its part of it.
@@brendanduhamel6614 I think you're just a bad listener.
lol he’s not really a good story teller.
his tone fluctuates to keep your attention but that’s about it.
He emphasizes random details too much and tells stories in a nonlinear way… so no, I wouldn’t call him a “good” story teller
The man is saying he's an addict and wants to quit several times.. He's not in denial. He's not praising it. He's just being honest about his journey with drugs!! Prayers for him and all suffering. And again, blessings to you Mark
When it comes to drugs like heroin its kind of hard to deny you're an addict. You know you are you just don't care when youre deep into it, until it gets to that point where you are ready to do anything to stop (hopefully)
Took me a long time and I thought I'd never get over it. One day I did. I worked the entire time. It can be done.
hes a cry baby. ive been through similar shit growing up maybe worse. my mother is an alcoholic. i never developed drug addictions. each mind is different of course. but some one needs to tell him hes a cry baby
@@umdasu well I don't think it's ever fair to compare lives to somone because once again we have only heard about 30 minutes of his life and just because someone had a shit life doesn't mean they do drugs, I see the upper class kids in high school doing more drugs then I've ever done.
@@thisismichael2812 i was raised in the US im in BR right now trust hes crying about his first world problems. he needs to be slapped back into reality. not all users just this one case here.
He’s clean now. He looks like he’s a musician from the 1970s lol but I’m really glad he’s good now. Also, he’s incredibly well spoken and accepting of his shortcomings. I’m not surprised he turned his stuff around
I’ve been looking for any sort of an update on homie right here, super happy for him
Jake paul
@@anindustryplant7449 there’s two follow up interviews
Where did you get the update from?
yeaaa!!!! like a supertramp member
This is a guy you end up talking to when you're a plus one at a house party. Seems sweet, kind, intelligent, funny and deeply insecure.
Thank you
I’ve had a few bowls with a few strangers like him at parties. Good storytellers.
but they're GENUINE!!!
@@MatthewAndrewDrake you remind me a lot of myself in some ways, and we're about the same age.
The new perspectives that PE6 magic mushrooms offered me, helped me fix decades of mental miswiring that I had caused myself.
The mushrooms helped me recognize and validate my sensitivities and fears, as well as understand those of others, which in turn helped me see why people do certain things. ..things that hijacked my brain and brought on torturous circular thinking that lasted for wayyy too long. The mushrooms help block my own biases and allow me to analyze things from a position of pure consciousness, with wisdom and calmness like I hadn't ever experienced in my adult life. I hadn't experienced the wonder of life as I do now since I was a child.
True change comes from within, when we face our ugly ego and look at things for exactly what they really are.
Forget about not being enough for someone else; nothing will ever be enough for them, until they kill their own ego. I had a struggle within me for decades while I failed to recognize the fact that certain people whom I loved very much didn't have the capacity to love me with the same ferocity I was attempting to love with, and while I now understand that they simply were not emotionally capable of it, it burned me up inside for years how they would repeatedly mistreat me, yet rarely make it right. Ain't nobody got time for that poison. I should not have wasted time hoping they would care enough to acknowledge my pain or express remorse in any way. I was trying to make do with the friends I had, but I would encourage my former self to recognize my value must come from within and we must limit contact with people who are in the habit of suggesting or acting as though you aren't enough. You're already enough, Matt. It is only yourself who needs to see it, and truly recognize it. When we have self assurance, we can appreciate the applause of others, but we certainly don't need it, even if it is our own dad.
I sat on the sidelines with my piss poor courage, waiting to feel like an adult and grab hold of this merry-go-round of life while feeling bitter at my peers who already naturally felt like adults, champions even, and claimed what they wanted in life, as we all should be able to. Reach out and grab what you want. You can indeed embrace change; you have that power, but you must first embrace a new perspective of your life, and of your consciousness in general. Mushrooms can be scary and uncomfortable, but they can be an invaluable lifeline to a new perception and the ensuing change that comes from internal revelation.
As I value myself today, I find it far easier to experience extreme joy in life without the need of harmful substances to smooth things over because the vale of locked-in perceptions has been lifted. My third eye is open, I guess i'd say. I still microdose mushrooms here and there to challenge my perception, but I was able to ditch my prescription meds ten years after a proper dosage ramp-down, and I've never been better
I have never felt so fulfilled in life as I do now, and I wish a similar awakening to you. Your soul deserves it.
@@MatthewAndrewDrake I love you dawg stay safe
Mannn i was a functional heroin/fentanyl addict for 3 years. I ate some Psychedelic mushrooms last year and never tried Heroin again. I’ve been more motivated, threw out a lot of harder substances, and a lot of my anxiety and underlying guilt is completely gone.
Since I tired psychedelics for the first time, I’ve been trying to describe the experience to others so there can try it as well, but i couldn’t find the right words to describe it.
Did you do it alone? Like do you really need to have a tripsitter?
@@Henryflores-mn6yunahhh just make sure you’re in a good and comfortable environment you feel safe in, and dont over do your dose
@@JohnD.BrinichIf you order drugs on insta from an unknown vendor you deserve to have your drugs laced with fent.
@@JohnD.BrinichIf you order packs off insta from an unknown vendor you found in a youtube comment section, you deserve to have your shit laced with fent.
I was never a functioning addict. Always felt as though I was affected by the withdrawals & cravings so much more than the ppl around me. Heroin is hell. 3+ years sober. Never thought I’d get here & it feels fantastic.
Edit: 4 years came & went. The holiday season is always an emotional time for addicts I feel. I always do a lot of reflecting around this time. It’s really easy to fall into misery and depression, self pity, when I start thinking about all of the holidays I missed out on in active addiction. So I try instead to be grateful for the holidays I have been able to enjoy, without wondering if my dealer will be in town or if he’s going away, without my sole focus being on staying “well”. I can live in the moment now. I can enjoy my sons company, my families company, other peoples happiness, without that selfish voice sounding off in my head. And that’s enough for me. Count your blessings often, as cliché as it sounds, you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone. For those of us that already lost everything once, or twice, or more, we know what we’re fighting for, everything we stand to gain, and everything we have to lose.
Congrats man keep it up
Good job 😃
Stay safe gang
Same I felt like I got sick a lot more severe compared to everyone else
I always felt like that too. None of my friends seemed to be as bad as I was
This guy is fucking rad. Praying he recovers from his addiction & continues to thrive.. he’s such a gentle, amazing soul. Stay safe Matthew!
Thanks Kimberly
@@MatthewAndrewDrake I'm rooting for you. I'm not a drug addict but I used to have issues with food, and I relate to alot of what you are saying. Take care Matthew.
@@lucydaly44 thanks Lucy
Hey everyone my name is Trey I'm 30 I have 2 years on heroin and still on it I work at the JFK airport making 18.50 a hour I love this drug why cuz it make me want to work more even my boss says ur a good working trey I look at him and say thanks but he didt no I was on drugs I get my drug in new Jersey where it's cheaper I pay 100 dollar for 50 bags every Friday I get 3oo dollars worth so that is 150 bags it last a hole week really it does I only do 2 bags at a time never three I also shoot it up way better not in my arms on my foot so please guys don't do this i lost family friends job cars apt and I just got my apt and my car back it took time but yea the sickest is really bad like really bad I bin there but please bro don't do it this is my story stay sober
@@MatthewAndrewDrake Good luck man. I'm rooting for you. I'm currently on Suboxone. It helped me a lot, might be an option.
He looks like he's straight out of that 70s show. God Bless him
Exactly what I was thinking the entire time I was watching this 😂
Lol Hyde 😂
@@WhoIsJaiK Hyde’s younger brother 😂
Lmao I said this too 🤣😂🤣
He’s been home from Vietnam for a year and he’s having troubles fitting back into society have some respect.
He looks like he was teleported directly from the 70's
🙃
Honestly though. Love his look
yes! love his look ngl
@@JayFAE12me too
420th like
I was a functional heroin addict for a solid 5 years. I was able to maintain a job, an apartment and my kid. It made me feel like the person I wanted to be. The problem with being a functional addict is that eventually it won’t be functional anymore. Once an ex girlfriend of mine started shooting up, so did I. I overdosed 2 times. I’m so lucky to be here. I started having flashbacks listening to him talk about his stories. I had those exact thoughts. It was either heroin or suicide. There was no way out. I used to plan my recovery to make myself feel better about the position I was in but I knew I wasn’t getting clean unless it was light out. I am now 6 years clean and I can’t tell you how glad I am to be alive.
So glad ur still here! Keep strong!
Im so glad for you and your child⭐❤ Stay safe
Me too, im getting clean now. I was able to hold a job, nice car, alwyas had money. Never stole from anybody or did scummy shit to get dope. Only issue is it started getting harder and harder to function and hold a job. So I decided I need to get clean. I reached a level of misery I didn’t even know was possible. I’m now entering an new chapter of my life. I broke up with my partner recently, switched methadone clinics and I’m moving to Florida now to go live with my best friend and his girlfriend. Life does get better.. slowly but surely.
Well said
Ive been a functional heroin addict for almost 15 years. I smoke it have never shot anything. Always had a good job been a model employee near perfect attendance I am a manager at my current job been there for 8 years only missed half a day in 8 years. Work super hard. Never steal and never robbed a friend, dealer, family member. Im super reliable, like boring reliable, like every dealer I know would front me any amount I ask for. I could get an oz fronted right now. Im not a shitty person, always pay my debts. Like this guy in the video my lungs are getting destroyed though. I need to get off to save my lungs.
Watching this guy say everything he ever wanted to say, to someone that didn't judge and listened was really nice, i wish him nothing but good luck in his life.
if Mark wasn't making money on tis, he wouldn't be doing it- that why there's "no judgement"
@@Themidnightegardener right
its funny listening to this dude - he is so good at blaming everything else around him - he does not need encouragement or questions - just wind him up and away he goes!
i would have a quiet chuckle too if a 33year old man couldn't recognize what a drill was lol.
@@Themidnightegardener Well when you put it like that 😅😅😅 its facts, but God DAMN 😭😭😭
His whole story is one fatass pity party lmao
My uncle just OD’d this week his funeral is tomorrow. I just stumbled across this video. Please stay away from needles it’s not worth it.
love n prayers for you and your family. stay safe
🙏 condolences my friend
I’m sorry for your loss, prayers
No I love dog food
My friend od'd a few years ago... We were 18. Hold your head, it's rough
As a functioning heroin addict for 10 years myself, i related on so many levels with Matthew. My life was slightly different as I spent those 10 years raising my son by myself.
However, "functioning" is very subjective. I worked 5 days a week and provided my son with food, shelter and love, so to others I appeared very functional.
But looking back at that time I didn't grow emotionally for a decade. I lied to my family and friends for a decade. My health suffered for a decade. Close relationships were non existent for a decade. The only relationship I had was with smack. Like Matthew, my saving grace was my hatred of needles. I snorted heroin daily.
An intervention by friends and family was the turning point. However, I insisted that I couldn't go to rehab because I couldn't leave my son. So, with the help of buprenorphine (a wonder drug in my mind) I kicked it on my own. 13 years clean now and my life is wonderful. I'm not full of regrets about my addiction. The catalyst for my heroin use was finding my fiance dead on my birthday to suicide. Heroin was the perfect cure to my pain. At the time it was my saving grace. However, I actually had to go through the grieving process properly after I got clean.
Moral of the story: we're all different and handle things differently. Pure heroin by itself is not the devil. The black market and price of it is what causes the thieving, lying arsehole to manifest itself in most cases.
Matthew seems like a lovely guy. I wish him the best of luck. I hope he makes it out the other side.
Oooh, I've just seen there's a follow up video! Now I'm optimistic.
Big hug muppet
❤
Thanks for writing this and happy you made a wonderful life for yourself
If they made opioids legal, sell it in special places or pharmacies, for cheap ....it would solve so many problems, saved so many lives, so much money ...it's not even funny. America is so stu*id it's unbelievable, and thanks to her ignorance and puritanism, the whole World has to suffer.
I was a functioning daily heroin user for years. Married, two amazing kids, six figure salary job. No one had any idea.
The wheels finally came off, went to detox, did 100+ days inpatient rehab and I’ve come pretty close to building my life back.
Congrats man
Hey, that's so, so big. I'm proud of you even if I don't know you!
god bless
Amazing achievement 😊I admire anyone that can beat their addictions no matter what their addicted too as it takes so much strength
That’s insane! Congrats
The way he talks about his dad not showing him any skills and expecting him to just know them describes anyone born from 1989 up.
I can relate and I was born in 1982. I think it has more to do with children and their relationships with their parents, more so the father and the level of closeness and ability to relate/shared interests. Verbal abuse as well doesn’t get as much credit for wreckage as it should....My thoughts anyways.
Facts. Millennials are completely ill equipped for life.
Straight up. Exactly how my Dad was. He still is to this day. Born in 88'. My Dad is a quintessential boomer born in 57'.
I taught my 4yr old how to solder new earth connections onto technics 1200’s. Teaching them young is the way.
Elder millennial here. Born in 82. I was really lucky to not have a dad, but my grandpa was my father figure. He taught me a lot about life, lots of skills, etc. A lot of people my age don’t know how to do a lot of these things, and I’m always 110% down to teach them. I realized not having my dad, but my papaw, was probably the best thing pretty early on. My bio dad is only good at drugs and drinking 😒
Do you notice how he’s so specific and descriptive? That comes from his Dad. He feels if he doesn’t explain each detail exactly no one will understand him. I bet it’s a huge fear for him.
I feel like this comment made me realize so much about myself haha. I explain every single detail so that people can “understand” me. I’m the youngest of 5 and never felt heard… seems so obvious but I’ve honestly never realized this before 🤯
@@michellewormuth9919 it’s most common among middle children. I myself am a middle child and have been this way my entire life. It also is due to a lack of self worth in some instances. Usually at no fault of their own but because of specific personality traits that seem to be brought on by simple interactions with other as well as traumatic experiences that the person has never forgotten.
Bruh... I also feel like this comment made me realise that about myself and I’m the middle child (3rd of 5)
@@Henchmayn it’s true. It usually makes people hyper sensitive to others and very thoughtful and caring individuals. Also they are usually very affectionate people and understand the importance of thankfulness and showing love and respect for others. Not always but most of the time.
That’s me to a “T”!!!!! I know I am doing it and in my head I’m saying “SHUT UP SHANNON!!!! They don’t need to know EVERY detail about what your saying!” But I can’t stop myself. I have an older brother who wasn’t raised with me but my ex was EXTREMELY abusive in EVERY way so maybe that’s where it comes from. I hate being that way!!!!
I struggled with heroin addiction for years, but seeking help with psilocybin mushroom therapy helped!
I've done heroin a couple times, the effects are intense and dangerous. Mushrooms on the other hand has been a game changer for My cptsd.
Ive started taking mushroom powders in my morning tea and give supplements to one of my teenagers. Such a difference. Mushrooms are the hidden gem. Mother nature has everything we need.
I learned more about myself on one trip than I have through over a year of therapy.
What were your experiences like?
For me, it was the introspection and self-awareness. My therapist guided me!
My son was functional, until he wasn’t. He died 9/6/21 from an overdose, and we are left trying to pick up the pieces. God Bless Matthew, I really hope he is able to get off that shit. Please don’t die, as it destroyed you and all those around you.. It is fu*ked up Matthew and getting off of it is critical for a positive life…
Shit made my eyes wet, I’ll try and stay clean for the parents out there
@@Rafungilo Just do it for yourself as none of the rest of the outsiders matter. But please do it!
It’s so fucking hard, but I promise you can do it. Especially if you can find a loved one to care take for you for 2 weeks or so. It’ll be so much cheaper, they’ll have genuine love for you, and you won’t starve or lay in filth or have to lay and suffer thirsty for hours because of the pain. My big thing was food and water. I had such a hard time keeping stuff down and it made the pain worse and more intense. Hydration and sufficient meals are key. You need to replenish all b vitamins, d vitamin, and c vitamin for sure. I have chronic gastritis, GERD, and ibs so turmeric with breakfast WORKS WONDERS
I got off of heroin because I wanted a better life and my poor parents deserved some peace. I didn’t want to die in my addiction. I overdosed a few times but luckily someone found me.
@@Onelightoftheworld I am so happy for you!!! Thank God someone saved you when you overdosed. God Bless you and I wish you continued vigilance in your fight against addiction…
I love how he clarifies that blink 182 isn’t punk. I like this guy.
Lol I bet you he's probably been called a poser for liking blink which is why he said that
@@hicksdillon he literally said 10 seconds later he got called a poser a year later lol
Most things people refer to as "punk" or "punk rock" just aren't in the slightest. But, by the original "definition" of punk, Blink-182 was punk for sure. I can't speak on anything they're doing currently because I have no clue what they're up to, but being punk is just being original or unique or true to yourself. It isn't about spikes or leather or trend following or even trend setting. But I'm just a fool. Kids today would call me an oppressive gatekeeper for stating such things lol
I loved blink 182 growing up
@@Valrax yeah which is why I mentioned it, but he never said he got called a poser for specifically liking blink
I graduated from college and held down a job while being addicted to opiates. And yes the most sensitive people are drawn to drugs because of the emotional pain in life. Some of the kindest people i met were addicts. Till drugs finally made them die, your soul dies before your physical body.
The way he describes how heroin first felt is exactly how I describe the high when I started doing molly. That feeling of “this is exactly what I was looking for, what I needed, and I had no idea it even existed.” I will never ever try heroin because I know I will love it.
Thats a wise choice, I sure as hell wish I never would have tried it. You're also right about the "its too good" thing
@@RickyM247 I hope you're trolling. Not every experience is the same for every one, for you it wasn't something you felt the need to come back to. For others it immediately becomes something they NEED use. I'm not trying to be rude, but your comment is rather ignorant.
@@RickyM247 not everyone gets addicted until they finally try something that theyve been looking for, i never got addicted to molly and coke but i got addicted to pain killers and nicotine, everyone is different x
@@RickyM247 delete your garbage comments
heroin is literally nothing like MDMA, well hopefully MDMA hopefully youre not getting meth in your tablets or some research chemical and someones selling them to you as MDMA.. but honestly actually getting real ecstasy tablets is pretty fucking rare especially from the street
but yeah dont try heroin (i say this as i inhale smoke, literally right fuckin now as i watch this, directly into my lungs……so im kinda a hypocrite?) but for real dont try it youll want to kill yourself by the time withdrawals b hittin
anywya though heroin is a PAIN KILLER mdma is has structural similarities to AMPHETAMINE and METHAMPHETAMINE, which are classic STIMULANTS. the two are literally nothing like each other
When he said “I’ve never been good enough for my dad” I fucking felt that down to my core. I completely understand that feeling as a son.
Bro fuck what your dad thinks
You do you fuck it bro
My dads no good
Neither is my mom its whatever bro life goes on just be strong 💪 check out the youtuber buff dudes he will make ur life better.even if u dont workout
@M. Denz you do enough to comment
Thats gay
I totally understand his father being pissed. Totally.
You’ve never been good enough for your dad? Your dad was never good enough for you is more like it.
I was a functioning heroin/fentanyl addict for years. Two jobs, in college, even on the deans list. Then the drought hit. I had no idea what pain meant until then. I went three days without and truly felt like I was dying from the inside out. My “friend” said the only thing that would help was shooting some meth and at that point I would have done anything to stop the pain so I did and it helped. After that my addiction spun out of control.
I ended up in jail last year which forced me to be fully sober for the first time since I started using so many years ago. I thank God everyday for that. Saved my life. I’ve been sober since October 2020 and I’ve never felt better!
You can do it! Find good people to surround yourself with and keep yourself distracted!
Good on you. Keep it green. Odaat 5/23/96.
Ur a beautiful person. Keep it up homie
Amen
Jo in
Shooting meth to help while being dope sick always helps lol...
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporesss
He reminds me of my oldest brother. Highly intelligent, great at recalling stories, and deeply insecure. My brother, however, is not a functioning addict. He's just an addict. I miss him.
I have younger siblings. This struck me. Thanks.
I felt this tweet. I lost my brother. Fentanyl overdose. Feb. 23 2018. RIP Max.
I don’t miss my brother.
@@walterkersting6238 Keep it to yourself.
My alcoholic brother had a really nice older Acura and he crashed it twice; bought two more acuras, crashing thrice more. Coke man. He was in such a bad place. My sister and I had to pick him up from a motel when a transvestite stole his keys. That’s when he crashed for the final time. But he’s kinda better place now and taking sobriety months at a time. Hopefully your brother can get better too.
This is cool and all, but don't. You AREN'T this guy. Heroin will absolutely ruin your life. Just don't.
i guarantee his situation is twice as worse as he says
True
I hope there's a new video in 5 years.
He said he rather live without it, and if he could, took the advice from friends to stay off opiates.
I mean...you know this isn't a pro-being a heroin addict video, right? Like...the message here isn't "BE A HEROIN ADDICT." The message is addicts are people too.
I had a friend just like this guy. From his addiction story to how drugs affected him. Always well spoken and articulate as hell, RIP Ben you are missed
Sad part is guys like him also me, we want so desperately to fit into society but we take drugs to not be targeted or outcasted 24/7. It must feel so good to be normal
@@Druggy-Doggo the best feeling is actually not caring what ppl think or feeling normal
It feels the best when you find your high outside yourself, let’s say music, nature, funny people, interesting studies and when you make someone else happy; addictions turn people inwards and the dark side of ego becomes insatiable.
Like my best friend. From weed to the grave at a young age. Couldn’t ever stop drugs
But I'm right here...
"nothing too bad"
*Continues to describe an incredibly traumatic experience*
This guy knows where he's been. He knows where he is. He just needs to find out where he's going.
If he stays on heroin he'll go to prison or the cemetery. There are no old junkies.
Edit: exceptions don't make the rule.
Nice
Saw. I relate to those words very much lol.
erwin meester Ik a dude whose 85 still on fentanyl
@@mdsign001 Reminder: eventually you'll end up on a cemetery too.
As soon as he mentioned Roxies, Blink 182, the original Oxy80’s I knew he had to be my age. I can relate to him wholeheartedly. Went through all of those phases of opiate use, finally got on Methadone, and I am 5 years clean now after 12 years of using. My whole 20’s was a drug and alcohol fueled mess. Glad I made it to 34 and I hate that people are scared to talk about addiction. We need to continue to talk about it and stop stigmatizing us addicts in active use or recovery. Thanks!
Yeah same,just turned 40 and finally after somehow surviving my 20s and 30s I finally decided to start at my local clinic after my 2nd overdose in 3 days,I was finally done,that was March 28th 2018,methadone saved my life! Congrats on your sobriety keep it going!!
So you’re saying you condone his drinking heroin during the interview?
Him talking bout licking off the coating of the Roxys I got such flashbacks. I've been a functional addict on and off for the past 18 years. My first time getting clean my family had NO clue I was on dope till I said something. After losing my 1st husband and 3 family members back to back I released, got clean, then relapsed again 3 years ago. I have been clean a month and finally started counseling.
I mean dude seems like he is in complete denial. He has MAJOR dad issues and probably never sought help for his mental health issues
Ya. All us 80s babies truly lived that moment in time. We either saw it thru to see the clinic or we Overdoses in 2014 or there after when the fetty hit.
I've had 2 Yeats clean only to start chipping and now I'm using daily. Just rejoined the clinic. Nobody has any idea this time. Totaly functional. But I can't do it. I don't wana. Back on the clinic, glad it's there for us.
All that's left is fetty now, there aren't even percent 30s anymore. Everything is pressed fetty.
I smoked so.many percent between 2015 and 16 that I gave myself cancer. Smoking 30 fn percent a day off foil totaly fucked my lungs.
Luckily I recovered.
Man what a life we've all lived
Good for you as a junkie for over fifty years I have to say I no longer pretend I want to stop, I do not hide it or defend it, I accept it and others can either accept that or just reject me.
Breaks my heart how he still blames himself for his childhood. Man, if you're reading this- that isn't your burden to carry. You were a kid who felt unsafe and that wasn't "your fault" that the cops came. You did the right thing for your protection and following your instincts, even though it feels so complicated with family. Never apologize for feeling unsafe, you do deserve better. I can tell he loved his parents. Dude has a great heart.
Thanks man. Some people on these comments are comparing it to getting Beat as a child and saying I didn’t have it as bad or that I’m just a privileged white person. This world is so fucked up these days
Those people will go along with any dominant opinion, no matter what it is or how out of touch it might be. It is fucked up. There is power in numbers. If only those people realized the influence that they could have, instead of letting their fear of being an outsider in their opinion rule them. Their perception sucks. Not worthy of taking you down with it. There is good out there though. I think everyone needs healing
@@jennaparker672 it’s the dominant opinion in the world but not on this channel fortunately
@Either Or thank you I’m doing well
This is true. Dad driving drunk and angry was a form of violence. Hitting walls is a form of abuse.
Psychedelics are just an amazing discovery. It's quite fascinating how effective they are for depression and stress..saved my life.
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with health issues like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them but it's just hard to source out here.
I'm feeling the same way too. I put so much on my plate and it definitelv affects mv stress and anxietv levels
I was having this constant and unbearable anxiety because of university stress. Not until I came across Ted Winston, a very intelligent mycologist, He saved my life honestly.
Is he on telegram ?
HE’S MOSTLY ON TELEGRAMS, USING THE USERNAME
"I liked basketball but wasn't good enough to get on the team". ... Why did my heart instantly melt for his inner child. 😫
J. Cole vibes from "The Warm Up"
Mine did too💔
Shut up lmai
You probably want to give everyone participation trophies
@@HelenOzark 0pp[]0p0⁰⁰00]00pp00000⁰00p0000000ⁿ0⁹0000⁰0000⁹
Hearing him choke up about his overdose experience that led to him getting clean, only to start using a week later... that really hit home for me.
i know right.
@Dude its worse when you realize nobody actually cares if you live or die. That's why I had this fucking huge breakdown when I had my kid. For the first time in my life I had someone/something that I had to answer to, that needed and loved me. IT was fucking terrifying. The only thing almost as terrifying was the day I realized I had no one. Kind of ironic the only thing more terrifying than that was realizing that I had someone. LOL
I’ve seen people OD, get hit with narcan to bring them back to life, and pick up again in less than 20 minutes
I hope you have home owners insurance 😂🤣😅
@@ashleyhumbyrd7274 It's also specifically from the PAWS that naloxone throws you into. It's like the worst form of instant withdrawals the reversal drug can throw you into. You're the sickest you can possibly be, and almost nothing but time can get you better. You can go fix up, but it's near useless unless you do a stupidly ridiculous amount, which might cause you to OD once the Narcan wears off in like another hour or so.
The woman I wanted to marry was a highly functional heroin addict. She was such an incredible human, always taking care of everyone else, no matter what. She died of an overdose 2 1/2 years ago.
Growing up near Philly, I lost a lot of people to heroin and pills. It's a shame. I'm fortunate I kept myself clean.
I do oxy pills 🥲 lately my doses have skyrocketed. At what point is considered deadly?? Apparently my mother said I slur my speech on them now. It must break her heart but I’m in a huge addiction and can’t stop.
So sorry to hear of your many losses, especially your love. I know she will be looking down proud as punch at you.🙏🙏
Yesssss Philly…Kensington to be exact has been CRAZZYYY!! 😩🥺🥺🥺. it looks like a zombie apocalypse out there. I wish I could help many addicts that want to be helped, not all are bad people man. Some are shitty people because there are shitty people out there regardless of drugs or not but yeah man, god bless everyone 🙏🏼💕
Wow just like my story but with a guy. He has od’d but he got lucky those times
So sorry for your loss, my deepest condolences. Sending love and prayers ❤️God bless
This is one of my favorite interviews. Really straightfoward and seemingly honest.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE Matthew’s vibe. Genuinely love his disposition, his vibe, his attitude and his style is so dope. He doesn’t make excuses for himself and that’s refreshing.
No excuses... but man I hope he gets clean. The honeymoon phase of addiction doesn't last forever. It always catches up...
Thank you
Same, love it.
I worked with a guy like this he was productive at work and he confided in me on one occasionabout his addiction. I never would have guessed he had zero signs. A year later our boss called us all in one morning for a speech which he did periodically through the year but this time I got a different vibe right away the boss announced this guy passed away in his "sleep". RIP M
Damn...
You never know what people are going through. RIP to him. 😔🙏🏾
Aaa that’s so damn sad
Looks like this guy came straight out of 1975.
Wait is this a modern interview?
@@Milark yes lol
literally the same thought here.
Love that band, but I just don't see it...
@@franciscosalgado3114 he meant the year 1975. Lol.
I was a functioning heroin/fentanyl addict for 2 years. I’ve been clean for over a year after 3 overdoses and a year of methadone treatment. Getting off drugs was the hardest thing and probably will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Hang in there, life gets better once you kick the bad habits.❤
Congratulations on your sobriety. Only people who've themselves experienced addiction can truly understand what an incredible victory sobriety is. It takes a special individual to survive and conquer opioid addiction, especially methadone. So just know, you're a badass.
two years lmao you weren't an addict you just were addicted there is a difference.
@@hattchetman_2128 Why you spreadin negativity bud? It doesn't matter, the intensity of a person's addiction. If someone is reliant upon a substance to attain their daily goals, and/or find happiness or meaning in their lives, they're an addict. Doesn't matter if they've been relying on it for a couple months, or a couple years. We should hold each other up my friend. We're special. We've seen a side of life that many never will, and it provides us with a deeper insight, and empathy for others in a similar situation. We need to care about each other, because most of these Doctors don't give a shit. Most of society doesn't give a shit. So if we don't recognize, and love and help each other, who else will?
@@apebeats6631 lmao no one cares kid, you are a chump
@@hattchetman_2128 lol I'm a grown man. You're the one with the problem. Hope you get yourself figured out.
this is the guy you see at the bar and when you ask "how's it going" he talks for 45 straight minutes without you saying another word
its a fucking interview, the interviewer isnt supposed to talk that much
@@orber7057 lmfao relax chief its not that serious
I think personally people that talk your ear off with almost no prompting are lonely that just need to say some stuff to someone.
@@orber7057 lol right not a fucking podcast
As someone who’s not a talker myself I love listening to people like that 😂
This is a highly intelligent young man that wasn’t invested in. He needs to cultivate his mind! He gets bored because he’s highly intelligent and needs to use his mind. I hope the absolute best for this guy! He could be incredible!
Thank you 😊
@@MatthewAndrewDrake oh wow you're the dude, man
@Christian Constitutionalist that's a pretty callous statement. The system we live in doesn't inspire people to believe in themselves. At least in the US. Public schooling is a fucking joke. Corporate America is the standard litmus test for "success". Mental health issues are still taboo. I mean there is a plethora of shit that keeps humans bonded to this cyclic and toxic cycle. Those aren't excuses man. Those are facts of life that fucking suck. I feel for this guy, because I had the same problem with prescription meds. Same shit, different hook. Piece of shit doctors getting kickbacks for getting people addicted to something they don't need to be on. The only difference with heroin is it's not legal.
@@MatthewAndrewDrake Dude
Wish you all the best in life. I have known good people get clean from many years of heroin use and now live deeply fulfilled lives; their own companies , wives and children, good friends and family. All love to you on your journey
@Christian Constitutionalist I hope you are able to accomplish everything you want to in your life. Life isn’t a race. Some people don’t achieve their dreams until retirement in their 70s. Everyone grows at their own pace. Give yourself a break @Christian Constitutionalist seems like you’ve been rushed in life. Blessings to you. And quick reminders that Jesus didn’t begin his career until 30-33 years old. The teachings of grace by Jesus extends across all ages.
“ I didn’t really want to die , I was just giving up “ I wonder how many people feel like this . Cool dude
That's how most people feel before the "I want to die" stage.
I believe disappointing loved ones has alot to do with feeling that way, as I parent I really believe in showing my kids that self love and becoming their own person without being influenced by other people including myself is essential In their happiness and success. I'm here to guide them on the right path and give them guidance. Pay attention to the people around you, comments like that can be a cry for help
A lot of us struggle with this unfortunately
Thank you I think
@@MatthewAndrewDrake you are welcome .
My brother was a functioning addict and died October 2022. God bless you and keep you safe man
Sadly, all it takes is just one fuck up. R.I.P. to your brother. He's free.
This guy is so broken from lack of being loved. Affection is so important as a kid. Being wanted and loved goes so far and the lack there of does as well. This guy has potential, he communicates very well. Hope he makes it out.
Heroin really helps if you feel a lack of love, fear of abandonment, lonely or any negative feelings get quickly dissipated and you can continue your day. But if you have goals and want to be something you realize it's only slowing you down.
@@Z3sty367 there are many ways to escape definitely. I think having a hobby is the best remedy, it helped me out of my depression and helps with my anxiety. Finding a reason to live is so important above all tho.
yeah! he does that as an escape from his thoughts!
Mind is our biggest enemy
control the damn thing
being loved as a kid is overrated. Lack of being overly affectionate with a kid can make them crave that love as an adult, it makes you hard but it doesnt necesarily make you a jerk. Its different than being abused, its not really a bad thing in my opinion. I was deprived of love as a kid and i turned out fine, it just made me love my girl as an adult that much more
@@Z3sty367 I've never done opiates other than when I got my wisdom teeth out, but I used to browse drug forums and the way that nearly all the opiate users, especially the ones who shoot up talk about heroin and other opiates is kind of interesting. The best way to describe it is like being in love. They write poetry and talk about the feeling of being high exactly the same way someone might for their girlfriend. People who quit talk about it like losing a lover. You don't see this kind of talk with addicts of any other class of drug.
My best friend was a lot like this guy. Died from an overdose. Casual heroine use makes you have a lesser tolerance. One strong dose and this guy will die. RIP John. I miss you so much.
RIP John 🙏 may you never suffer than demon in any other life you live.
I’m sorry for your loss
I’m so sorry, I also lost my brother this way last year. I miss him so much too
someone was explaining to me that basically you get use to the high but the effects on your central nervous system etc still are there and you can't get use to those, eventually no matter what at some point you will overdose even if you are use to it when you keep bumping your doses, your body can only handle so much stuff. Rest In Peace
I lost all my best friends to overdoses and I’m an ex heroin meth user myself.,, I’m sorry that happened man. If I ever mess up I try to be careful and immediately reach out for help
He has a big sadness underneath all that. He's very eloquent, he can do so much better. Please fight, believe in yourself. Please
Bad time to believe in yourself, all hope is lost in America at this point, u less you want to be broke you’re entire life and/or rely on the government. But the upper middle class is destroyed and won’t be coming back anytime soon
@@ShinyFlakesShinyFlakes Why are you specifying the upper middle class? Fuck the upper middle class.
The working and lower middle class is what’s needed
@@JamesThomas-xv4tf well obviously it’s because I’m a part of the upper middle class, and while I don’t like saying “fuck the middle and lower class”, it’s pretty good damn frustrating when I see over $10,000 a month being stolen from me in taxes. Expand your horizons buddy, it’s very clear you are uneducated and broke. Strive to be better dude, you don’t need to be poor you’re entire life, but with your attitude, trust me, you will be.
@@ShinyFlakesShinyFlakes Amen! I agree ☝️
Very well said. And heartfelt. I
Wish this man well, too. He’s got more going on than he’s allowing himself to exploit
In my 26 years of life,I have never enjoyed listening to someone talk as much as I just did now
This guy is exactly why no one should be judged. Nice guy, a product of the society he was raised in.
Indeed brother
Product of his decisions. Everyone should be judged on how they choose to live.
No one should be judged period.
@@reneemclane1845 that’s not reality, you judge people. If you want to say other wise you would be a lier as well.
@@dirtybowl2338 his own decisions have something to do with it but a lot of it has to do with where and how he grew up
This guys addiction mirrors my own. I always held down employment, managed to support my own addiction and was able to function. Though I was suffering daily, but not every addict is an out of control raging crime driven junky.
That FUCKING PART!!! I’ve been nurse for over 20years! People would be surprised how many Functional attics
Yet! Progressive illness
That is a very tough thing to do though because u always have to keep your habit at bay which is very hard to keep that at a reasonable $ amount over time. Then u can’t get it early enough and r late to work. It’s not about being a raging idiot that does stupid crimes to afford habit cause that won’t last u will be to sick one day and go to jail cause ur slipping. It’s just very hard to keep a normal life at least 4 me it was. I was very functional cause it sped me up more than made me nod out. It’s just the hectic things that u can’t always account for and being able to keep your habit at a reasonable $ amount like I said.
Yes I made good money to support my habit! Thank Yod everyday I didn’t walk away with any felonies in my 10 years of use
@@GlobalDisclosure damn that’s wild
Man I used to be this guy. "It makes me feel normal, makes me happy, makes me energetic, it doesn't affect me negatively," and then he started tearing up when he talked about his OD. Ten years sober this past September. I truly wish you the best of luck, Matthew. I hope you get clean some day, for yourself and no one else.
My ex-boyfriend is a functional addict as well. He is a teacher. He never tried to get clean because he always said that as long as he was functional, everything was OK... it really wasn't. It recently started to catch up on him, and that's when I left him. I really hope he can make it out... he does seem like a sweet, down-to-earth guy. He deserves better.
Sure leaving him is gonna help him
@@vgspotting5331he needs a hug
Left him when things got rough sounds just like a modern American woman
@@vgspotting5331you can only help people, especially addicts, as much as they let you.
Ultimately it is their battle to fight and loved ones of addicts shouldn’t blame themselves for leaving unhealthy situations.
All of these subjects who start out with "I had a good, normal childhood" always progress into stories of their parents and you realize that the parents were trash and their childhood was in fact, not normal or good.
Not for nothing but he did have a pretty normal childhood. Nobody’s parents are perfect. We can’t just ignore the fact that he’s admittedly a drug addict. Not everyone turns to drugs because their parents drink and yell at them. We all have choices to make. We need to stop trying to find ways to justifying doing drugs. Sounds like he never had any drive to overcome his problems. My childhood wasn’t perfect but I still know right from wrong. There are exceptions obviously but it’s not like the guy isn’t educated. He’s pretty damn intelligent .
His parents seem completely normal to me? Most addicts I work with never had parents (reality and figuratively).
@@Whydoweneedhandlesagain Have you ever been addicted to anything?
That's how I'd begin my story too. But then you start filling in details...
@@Whydoweneedhandlesagain you have no idea how drugs affect your brain and it shows
There's a million people just like this out there you'll never hear about.
That's the thought I had. They, but especially, the interviewer kept being amazed at how this guy appears normal, has a job etc, that's because the only drug users the sheltered person knows are the screaming in public/scabs on face/tweaking like hell type. Fact is most people that use you wouldn't even know. The general public have probably met users and were amazed and wooed by their social fluency/energy/quick wit/etc and never realized that was due to crystal meth or coke or whatever. It's a loud minority. There's no way to put a number on it but i'd say 85% of users have no outwardly telling signs or behaviour and lead normal lives.
The amount of people working in bars, especially people-facing roles(bartender etc) who use cocaine/meth/speed down here in Australia is astronomical. If you're reading this and you're a shy person who dreams of confidence and thinks this is the solution, know you are the highest risk group for dependence, just work on yourself it's possible.
@@Heopful i was reading in interest, and then the ending applies in a way
If you count cocaine we’re talking billions
ive used opiates daily for about 5 years now and nobody really on a personal level knows. none of my family, coworkers, or anything. just a very few small amount of close friends. without it i feel like shit. im lethargic. i basically cant function but as soon as i get a little buzz its like i chugged the worlds strongest coffee. ive tried quitting but always come back. theres many people like me but none of us are really open about it. well, functioning addicts that is.
Or they're right under your nose. No one knew i was on heroine for 6 months
I snorted an oxycontin pill in 2002 and it was the ultimate feeling. I'd never done anything with drugs prior to that. It give me energy and I fell great ! I become addicted to it for 5 yrs. and have been off it for 12 yrs. I don't even think about it and I do not miss it. It was the most horrible time of my life
So glad you got out. God Bless you
It’s a hellish experience trying to deal with opioid addiction. I’m happy for you that you found your way out of that life.
How old were you when you started ?
I relate to your story so much... The feelings, the times that the emotions hit you, I can see parts of my story in your story. Thank you for sharing.
As a recovering addict, this guy is 100% how I felt using oxy. It made me feel like "me" when in reality it's just the drug tricking my brain. You can't become "you" when you're on something - it's just the thing you're using. Opiates was so difficult to come off of. I resulted to low, scumbag shit just to get a few pills. I hated what I'd become. I'm thankful to be clean today because I have purpose and drive in my life now. Thanks for sharing your story homie
Going threw that shit rn can't get off em and I'm 19
@@theforbiddenbean5600 just don't try to kick it until you're ready. Big problem I had with opiates was *always* feeling shitty about it and actively trying to quit. It ends up demoralizing the shit outta you and making you feel like you'll never get healthy.
Just have fun until you actually know that you're going to quit, and then quit.
@@theforbiddenbean5600 serrrriooooo
It's about drive, it's about power. We stay hungry we devour
@@SallionMang that’s absolutely awful advice to give someone when the current drug market is full of nothing but fake perc 30s that are really pressed fentanyl in whatever amount the dealer made it and people think it’s regular oxy, and same thing with heroin, most of it isn’t even heroin anymore, it’s either just straight up fentanyl or it’s a mix. “Just have fun with it until you’re ready to quit” definitely ain’t it bro
What he said about his brain telling himself, "This is what you've always needed, this is how life is supposed to be"-- that really hit hard. That's exactly how I felt, like I could live life. I didn't struggle doing normal things like socializing, going grocery shopping, and even working became fun.
Yeah, he definitely made me want to try heroin lol. But, after wasting years of my youth with weed, I know better. Once you get a taste, you never want to give it up.
So true
I feel that from cannabis edibles!
My brother who has been (sober for 7 years 🙏) described his first drink as a very similar feeling!
getting on heroin was defiantly a upgrade for me it made life better the only negative aspect was the WD's I have been clean for the last 20 years now I don't go to AA or NA i Don't need it to be clean i just chose not to but when it comes down to it yes heroin was fun and a great experience and it made my life better I just operate better with it since then I have found a plant named kratom and I take that daily it's not heroin but it helps
I would be this guy's friend. Seems like a good person regardless of his vice. I just hope he doesn't ruin his health.
Thanks!
@@MatthewAndrewDrake hey dude, you’re such a cool bloke, really loved this interview. Wish I could meet u feel like we’re on the same level haha but yeh u killed it
This man is dead he just doesn’t know it
@@MatthewAndrewDrake let’s do Herion together 😂
@@MatthewAndrewDrake hey, have you watched the recent Dr. Hart and Joe Rogan interview. Dr. Hart studies all drugs and effects and the road to legalization.
Heroin today is nothing like it used to be in the 80s and 90s. Its mostly cut with more crap than ever. I was a heroin addict for over 25 years,i have been clean for just under 2 years, one of
the reasons i stopped because the heroin was so poor.
Same here. When they started cutting it with fent. Can't stand that stuff. Would make me vomit for a whole day and I barely did enough to feel it. So I ended up quitting
I wish I could try Heroin from the 80's or 90's. Man i'm jealous of you guys
0:03 @@HudsonJayHey dude, you can still have that same feeling with the help of dr.johnsonshrooo He's the most knowledgeable about
psychedelics that I know.
Most of it is now primarily fentanyl with animal tranquilizer in it. It's gotten almost impossible to find anything on the street that isn't cut that way, based on testing of drug seizures in the last 3 years. On the West Coast, even when it is heroine, they still put the tranq in it since it lets them use less of the heroine and still give a high that is similar enough for the user while the tranq is really cheap for them to get with a few greased palms since it is barely
regulated in any country.
@@JesseScott-pc3kb☆Hey dude is he on insta?
These interviews are way more interesting than late shows.
True. Late shows are so predictable and hypocritical.
Yes!... with like endless episodes, and no commercials if you have TH-cam red ! I love it
Late shows have never really been interesting though...
I love this guy! He’s real. He seems honest. He’s intelligent and he has a great sense of humor. I hope he finds his way.
Thanks Rebecca
I know riiight😜
@@MatthewAndrewDrake Stop doing fucking dope moron, leave everything go into rehab.
@@joseluki I’m sure if you did an interview about the worst part of your life you’d have people saying they love you and that you’re intelligent as well.
@@MatthewAndrewDrake Hey brotha have you ever delved into meditation at all? From what I gathered it just seems like you're running from boredom...?
i was just like this dude. a “functioning” addict. after 5 years it became a mostly a money issue than health. almost 3 years clean now.. feel for this guy.
@KingCobraJFS I feel you
@KingCobraJFS you have to want to quit. Money isnt going to make you quit. You got this
@KingCobraJFS Yes you can, you just keep telling yourself you can’t. Stop the “I want to, but can’t.” You can.
@KingCobraJFS go see a doctor and get on methadone or suboxone! I would say suboxone but do it before years go by ! I
I have to take Norco and Tramadol and some kind of Robaxin muscle medicine everyday after three back surgeries. It does not make the pain go away. It just makes it tolerable so I go to work, drive, and function. My greatest fear of pain medicines is that someday the pain might get so bad I might have to take the real heavy drugs. Try to avoid back surgeries.
I have ADHD and opiates affect me the exact same way. I recognize so many of my own behaviors/mannerisms in him. What a beautiful precious soul 💜
What’s your thoughts on kratom? That stuff makes me feel ok with life/work, when normally I’m dragging just to get out of bed.
Same
This guy is hard to believe he’s an addict, I really hope eveything is going ok and doing good he seems so nice :( my best of luck to you
Thanks Mike
No one knew i was an addict. Im a kind generous and loving person no matter what.
The drugs were only my problem
I hope you can find the best and happiest version of yourself without the drug man . Peace and good luck
@@MatthewAndrewDrake I'm going to have to finish the second half later but I if you're not in recovery now I pray you get there. I, too, am an addict but I'm in recovery for 4+ yrs and I totally understand. Blessings 🙏🏻
Alot of times addicts can be the nicest people you know.
I’m an addict. I was too “functional” at certain points in my life. I am now on methadone and have been for 5 years on and off. I still struggle every single day. I had some time clean and now, I’m right back to facing possibly losing everything I have. Addiction is fucking horrible. I wouldn’t wish withdrawal on my worst enemy, man. Thanks for another wholesome interview.
I hope the best for you
Hey hun .I'm going through the same if u need to talk message me
Hey miss Keyana I will say extra prayers tonight for you specifically when I'm thanking the Lord for my blessings...
Girl im Crossing my Fingers for you, you can shine, you got this 💝
Wishing u the best! YOU CAN DO IT. You've made the first step ADMITTING.
As someone who grew up with an older sibling who is an addict, I don’t think people realize that addicts are also just that - normal people. While he seems like a great guy and higher functioning than most, most people are great people just with an ugly addiction. So happy he’s gotten clean and hope this opens many people’s eyes to the reality of what addiction looks like for so many.
Yeah i always thought an addict was a different type of person and that i could predict who was going to be an addict. Then i became an addict and had to re think the whole issue.
I was clean and relapsed a bunch and am cleaner than before. Off all meds and any substance. We’re doing a one year update next week
@@MatthewAndrewDrake I can’t imagine how hard it is but so proud of you! 1 year is a big hurdle - hope you keep on fighting always ❤️
@@malkinmalone exactly! Gives you a whole new perspective. Hope you are doing well ❤️
@@MatthewAndrewDrake good for you man 🖤
Same here, I was "functional" until I wasn't. All it takes its one bad event and sends you down a spiral you can't hold onto. I was good for like 8 years, then a depressive, wreckless mess for 2yrs. Lost friends, family, jobs. I'm now on a path of sobriety I never thought was possible. Approaching 2 months clean of heroin, weed, ect. I occasionally drink, but for the most part, I'm just naturally joyful nowadays.
Seriously, we'll say anything to rationalize our habits. But in the end, it's a demon that wants your soul. Eventually, it WILL end in death. Abstinence is the best way to live a fulfilling life!
you still good man?
^
I was thinking the same thing, but my drug of choice was alcohol. Meth, heroin, and everything else were just fun things to add for an extra buzz if I came across them. I was "functional" up until physical dependency hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't go longer than an hour without a drink before I'd start shaking, puking and getting panic attacks and seizures. I was putting back between 20 and 30 tall cans of steel reserve a day, calling myself "functional."
Like you said, we all say we're functional to justify the fact that we're full blown addicted. I hope you're doing well.
@@lflex6864 yess! I'm really good! 4/20/24 I reached 1 yr sober & still rolling strong! From unemployed junkie to $50k/yr within a year. Sobriety is still the way to go...
@@monytontana5184 My deepest respect. I was a depressive, suicidal wreck for a long long time without an addiction on top. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to have to deal with an addiction on top of something like that.
The way his voice shakes when he talks about ODing. 🙁 I hope this guy can find happiness without his addiction and recover someday.
That moment where he said he OD and started choking up I felt that. I lost my best friend and almost lost another good friend from an overdose. I never even knew they were doing it. Kills me ever day he’s not here.
I’m sorry for your loss
Sorry for your loss. I lost a really good friend to an OD. Think about him everyday.
Sorry for your lost bro I just had a cousin od worst feeling ever
Lost my dad to the same thing a few years back. Fentanyl too. Hope you’re well.
Hey, man. I hope you yourself are doing well. Losing a friend is something that I haven't experienced, but you are in my thoughts and I wish you well in everything that you do. May you find peace in your grieving.💯
Feeling "never good enough" can really have a sneaky impact on a person in different ways even though you not might realize it. I can relate to that.
That's me to a T. Nothing I do ever feels good enough nor do I feel like I've accomplished anything in my life. Oh well, life keep on so I do as well lol.
As a fellow addict he rings true... says a million words without really saying anything.
I was a funtioning addict for 4 years. Eventually your tolerance gets too high and money runs out... that's when it starts ruining your life. When he says he just needs to be locked up for 30 days 🥺... that's exactly what I needed too. 6 weeks locked up in treatment and I'm 19 months clean now
We would make one hell of a quirky couple
@@SweetMelissa209 Thank you! 🥰🖤
17 months clean from all substances and it gets easier and things get clearer. Keep up the good work
I’m about to quit myself. What do you think was the hardest thing about quitting? Are you currently on any maintenance medication like methadone and Suboxone? I have Suboxone, and I’m going to try to just sit at home and take those when I start to feel shitty, but do you have any other advice for things to do when craving or methods you’ve used to stay sober? Any help or advice would be very much appreciated!
@@Ari6lle1nWonderl2nd I did take suboxone for a full year. I am off of it now. The withdrawal for that sucks too, but not nearly as bad and I still recommend using it as an aid. If you can go to detox, I highly suggest it. Liquid calcium helps with the shakes, and if you can get a prescription for clonidine it would help too. Stick it out! I promise it'll be worth it. I rarely have cravings now, and when I do, I "play the tape". This is a method they teach in NA. Remind yourself of what will happen after you use. I don't know about you, but I would ruin my life and I don't think I have another relapse left in me. I'd probably end up dead. I'm not a huge fan of NA but I did learn some useful tools in the program and meeting people who can relate to you is helpful. There are people who care and their stories are inspiring. Reach out when you're struggling. It's going to be hard at first but it gets so much easier and positive things will start to happen and encourage you to keep on your path. I don't know you, but I'm proud of you and wish you all the best. You can do this, freedom is waiting for you 🖤
Man this dude seems wicked chill. He's so nice and intelligent. I feel I could talk to this dude for hours about life...Always stay true to yourself Matthew .
Thanks Matt
@@MatthewAndrewDrake ❤️
He reminds me of a stoner in a parody horror movie that survives.
Thanks that’s best comment so far. Ever seen Cabin In The Woods?
What a fuck up comment..not fair
@@MatthewAndrewDrake yeah definitely see Marty from cabin in the woods with this guy
@@hunterbrady4789 that is that guy 😂
Cabin in the Woods
All the best, Matt, I hope you get over the addiction. Thanks for sharing your story.
"Does it affect work?"
"No, they have no idea"
Update: 8 million views later lol
Nobody has said anything yet 🤷♂️
@@MatthewAndrewDrake did you make it back to the clinic?
@@MatthewAndrewDrake have you experienced your addiction progression come to a standpoint, overall?
@@MatthewAndrewDrake please I encourage you to go back to the clinic... often to get clean and not carry an opioid tolerance makes you more susceptible to death from using during initial relapse period. it takes dedication to stay clean pass frequent drug tests and drive to the clinic but after a year, only having to go once a month I find very manageable and it works well for me... idk if I'll ever get off methadone completely but medicaid pays for mine so its govt subsidized free harm reduction that works.
@@MatthewAndrewDrake My advice. Find someone you can fall in love with and start a family. I'm not telling you what to do, it just helped make me the man I am today. For me it makes a big difference when someone calls you dad.
26/1/2020 the last time i did heroin,the next morning checked myself into rehab.
I was away for 13 months,as of today i am living my best life,sober and fully aware of what’s going on.
Super proud of you -- keep up the good work!!
Until I found this channel, I had a really negative view of all addicts because of what my Mum put me through... She had tons of chances, tons of resources, tons of forgiveness & support. But she wouldn't take them. Even after getting clean & removing all the triggering people/phone #s out of her life, she just... Found new shitty influences. New drugs. The fact of the matter was she would rather be high & screw people over.
I thought all addicts were like her...
I'm glad I was wrong. Watching these interviews & reading through the comments has really opened my eyes to the experience of so many people struggling. That has helped me to humanize people & realize that, at the core of addiction, is often pain. Not a desire to simply "have fun" at someone else's expense. I've been trying to humanize her, but... I've just been hurt too many times & I don't think I'm there yet.
Hearing stories like yours is truly inspiring to me!
Thank you for sharing it.
super proud of you!! wishing u the best :-)
Congrats, I wish you well
Stay the path brother. Stay strong
that's awesome man! I'm clean off heroin for 7 days now 🥲
This is exactly what my poppa looked like in the late 60s and early 70s. He feels so warm. I miss my poppa.
Aw ❤️
It's weird how we can relate to people through looks.
Hey you, your dad must have been so nice. I get that nostalgic feeling often for my dad too-alternating waves sadness and happiness. Stay safe,
@@KodyVermaak and we can’t, isn’t that more amazing?! That it’s literally an impossibility??
I thought I was watching a 70’s throwback interview.
I relate to Matt on so many levels. We literally have so much in common. It’s nice hearing someone who has had experiences like you.
Literally every man I've met who has issues, the underlying story is they were looking admiration from their father but didn't get it. It's incredible how important that is for a child and and the damage it will do the rest of peoples life, it's devastating.
My problems seem clearer after reading this comment
What about if its the mother?
All of my issues clearly stem from the fact that my father made me feel insignificant in a myriad of ways when I was growing up.
@@cactaceous me too
@@T.Lspitz Usually deep set misogyny.
“It’s easier on the pocket book”. That made me giggle. I haven’t heard pocket book since my mom said it in the 80’s.
It was so endearing 😊
Lol, me too. It's like saying slacks instead of pants
So you’ll let him bone you then?
@@HeadNtheClouds 0 to 100 just like that lol
Some of us White people in the Midwest still favor it.
These are precisely the kinds of personal projects I want to shoot. Absolutely incredible style, well made, and of course the content does all of the real heavy lifting. Love Matthew's story and just seen in the comments that you did another interview with him, surely watching that next. Really do aspire to be able to create pieces of work that document these kinds of stories to the same caliber as you one day Mark. Well done.
His braveness to open up like this is admirable. He looks like a very good person with a terrible problem. I hope him the best, he can have a bright future, has communication skills and a very sincere way of speaking. He is much more powerful than the problems he has or has had... Hopefully he will notice
I guarantee you and I say this with no disrespect. I guarantee you he opened like this because I guarantee you he smoked herion before this interview. Trust me if not he wouldn't be calm and as relaxed as he is
@@bspierce81 can you guarantee me that you are guaranteeing me that you guarantee this?
@@nick-dm3if lol I just reread my comment and I can guarantee you that I'm guaranteeing that I sounded like a dumb ass.....lol
@@bspierce81 i can gauruntee that
I like that you've shown someone that is functional so the world can understand that it's not always about stereotypes. It can be your next door neighbor in the suburbs or your big corporate boss(which is pretty normal). Thanks for this. Hope he decides to get sober soon.
I'm 35. I had an opiate pain pill addiction for 15 years before I decided to finally switch to the needle going on 3 years now. This life is hell and there is nothing fun about it. It gets to the point where all you're doing is trying to get by. You rarely actually get high anymore, you just feel normal for a few hours til you start feeling like death and it's time to hunt down more just to feel better.. then you wake up and do it all again the next day. It's a never ending cycle. Please stay away from hard drugs.
I drank and did opiates for about 20 years heavily. Never used a needle but I did heroin, suboxones, methadone, anything I could get. When you first stop you feel like you're always gonna wake up craving it but I guarantee you it goes away eventually. I don't know where you live but I would recommend getting kratom for the withdrawal and quitting. Kratom is amazing for the withdrawal just don't keep taking it cause you can certainly get addicted to it.
I did the same thing as you. You can get clean, I injected heroin for about 5 years. I'm 2 years clean from everything. What did it for me is extended release sublocade. Get on it if you can. It dissipates so slowly in your system over time you don't even have any withdrawls, mentally or physically. That was my situation anyways. It's a once a month injection into your belly muscle or fat, not sure which, felt like muscle though, it stings but it's worth any discomfort.
I can relate being near Philly. At 37 yrs old... I recall having trauma and abuse as a child which led to pills to heroin and eventually the needle. After 15 yrs of on and off sobriety short lived being on subs and methadone. Over three years ago I quit cold turkey and haven't picked up since. Best decision of my life. While I see everyone around me dying. My heart breaks but I'm glad God had another plan
@@annmarielugosimcilhenny9119 coshahaken if im right.
@@calebhendrickson2067 I'm not far from conshahaken like maybe 20
I am a semi functional fentanyl addict. I held down full time job, housing and all my needs were met. But my quality of life suffered. I didn’t spend my money on anything nice for myself. I covered my needs, but that was it.
I am currently 2 weeks clean and in a treatment facility now, to work on my mental health and and quality of life.
I have definetely been on the other side though, being homeless, no money and doing as much dope as I could. Methadone has definetely helped me stabilize and be productive.
That’s great that the methadone is helping you maintain a better quality of life. Thankfully I’ve never been addicted to opiates/opioids but I have my own addictive tendencies that I have to manage. Take it a day at a time and keep up the good work!
@@Ceej_From_The_DMV
Thanks brother. Knowing yourself is more than half the battle. It’s easier to prevent it from happening than recovering from it. I definetely haven’t always been productive. Years ago I was much worse off, homeless. Nothing to my name. Just chasing drugs. Not worth it man.
I have so much advice and wisdom I wish I could share.
@@ZERELA666 I can’t even fathom that man. It doesn’t really get more rock bottom than that. What pushed you to recovery? And are you doing any type of 12 step program?
Hope you’re well
He's functioning. He's surviving. That doesn't mean he's okay. It takes one time for it to be laced with too much fentanyl . So many people OD beyond return. Like he said. He wants to heal. You can tell. Here's to you man. You're gonna make it.
Thank you
He said that he smokes his heroin. You probably don’t know much about heroin or the different ways to use it (which is a really good thing) but people who od from heroin are the people who use a needle and shoot up. When you’re smoking heroin it’s pretty close to literally impossible for you to od, regardless of whether or not it’s laced with fentanyl. His story about the one time he od’d he was doing straight fentanyl and he was snorting it. But when it comes to smoking heroin, you’ll pretty much always nod off before being able to smoke enough to actually od.
@@mikeblackwell3445 Thank you, I'm gonna test your theory tonight.
which is why drugs should be legal and reg'd
Cut with fentanyl you can tell. I test batches for my dude fentanyl is clear. Also say it's cut with fentanyl you can tell.
This guy was mad interesting, hope to hear from him again
Thanks!
Yeah, he’s a cool ass dude
@@MatthewAndrewDrake You! You’re cool, man!😎
@@MatthewAndrewDrake yeah you are a cool dude
I agree