***** Lmao!! "Rapey D rated porn fest"...omg yes lol..this made my day. This is what bored housewives WISH bdsm was like. Makes it seem more "approachable" to them...it really reminds me of Redbook ads and the like in the 50's like "How to make your man want you in bed"..."20 dirty tricks to fit his fancy!" etc etc....
The feeling I get when I think about the fact that this is marketed toward women, and seems to be fairly successful, is probably the closest I will ever get to feeling ashamed of my gender. Seriously ladies? Really? We've gone from Mr. Darcy, a classic romantic character willing to stop being a huge jerk to everyone around him because the woman he loved rejected him for it, to THIS douchbag getting rewarded for worse behavior? Ugh, I give up on modern romance...
For me it was what dreams may come. Say what you will about the movie as a whole, but it is hard to top a man willing to sacrifice his eternal soul for his soul mate.
I'm a man, and I'm not into "chick flicks" even though my mother and two sisters have forced me to watch those kinds of movies. But even though it's not my type - I can still appreciate the elements at play. That being said, Pride and Prejudice is too good to be compared to this garbage... by far! Jane Austin's masterpiece story is the pinnacle of the classical romance, I can see comparing Cinderella Story or She's the Man to Pride and Prejudice... but this smut? I don't think it has earned the comparison, I don't think there are many modern romances that have earned that comparison - but least of all 50 Shades. If children are being brought up in a world where 50 Shades can get this big, we need to force them to read better romances in school to counter balance it.
Jeremy...Jeremy...I'm a woman and this book/movie DISGUST ME ! The guy is an abusive, manipulative asshole !! This book is about abuse..NOT BDSM or 'girl porn' or whatever... AND PLEASE, can guys stop pretending they're the only ones who watch porn and girls only watch good old romance and are innocent creatures who only live to crash men's balls and FORCE them to delete their porn..LIKE i don't care if you watch por... We live in a free country and i'm always in a HEALTHY relationship...Like, Do what you want with your computer, watch porn if you wish to.. OTHER THAN THAT..THE REST of the video was GOLD :D
Alexfolledemoi so your basically saying you would be ok if your boyfriend watch porn 90% of the time, eat %9 of the time and only give you only 1% of time? Also the majority of the fifty shades of porn are females (for some reason). Also the beginning of your second paragraph makes no sense
Advanced Prime where in my comment did i say that ? :) I only said that it's ok if your partner watches a bit of porn AS LONG AS you still appreciate each other and make time for one another and keep in mind that porn it's just porn. it's way better to have real sex with your partner and ALSO i said "healthy relationship..What you describe is an unhealthy relationship..o f course I WOULD NOT have that kind of relationship ! What i said was that it's ok to watch some porn..of course im' not going to stay with someone who watches porn 90% of their time..like at this point it's sick and creepy :D ! All i'm saying is 'watch your porn if you want to as long as you still cherish and me'
Iredomi ...says the person calling people dicks on TH-cam. Girls who hate this fifty shades shit shouldn't be in the minority in the first place, so kindly fuck off :)
Okay. I was not going around calling people dicks just you. Your comment did nothing but undermine Kings opinion. Or least undermine any reason for them sharing their opinion. It was patronizing, and really quite offensive for multiple reasons and you should be called out for it even if admittedly I did this in a rather juvenile way. (Also the lol was there to try and make my response seem more jovial rather than a fully earnest reprimand because I don't know you.) And I assume you were being a bit more playful than I have interpreted you being but there you go. I shall proceed to kindly fuck off now =)
I would say 1. Fifty Shades of Grey 2. Fant4stic 3. Pan 4. Vacation 5. Hot Pursuit 6. Transporter Refueled 7. Jupiter Ascending 8. Hitman Agent 47 9. Pixels 10. Taken 3
Oh no, 50 Shades still has nothing to be thankful for. It was actually Jeremy's review of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 that first received the coveted "Nothing" rating.
my girlfriend ask me if do you want to go see fifty shades of grey and i said yeah so she went and got dressed came back and was wondering why i wasn't get ready , and i said I've already started watching it looks at my phone im watching porn because who pays for porn
my boyfriend ask me if do you want to go see Kingsmen and i said yeah so he went and got his wallet came back and was wondering why i wasn't get ready , and i said I've already started watching it looks at my phone im watching explosions because who pays for explosions He beat me up.
De Pieter Actually if you want something that's similar to kingsmen, you'd have to be watching Saw and James bond at the same time. Or switch Saw with Kick Ass... or final destination... Either way it's any violent movie and James bond. You'd still have to pay, but it will be the closet thing.
As an aspiring writer who has gotten rejected several times and is always working to get better and hopefully getting published one day, it baffles me how this piece of poorly written crap was even considered for publication. I am happy I've been rejected, because I get advice, I write and read more, and become better. And as a perfectionist, I am oftentimes my own worst critic, and I would be ashamed and unwilling to show my face in public if I had written Fifty Shades of Grey. Whoever let this get published should be ashamed of themselves. They did not do their job, and now we're paying for it.
Yeah, as someone who wrote their first book (300ish pages*) and thought it was shit, I agree. I edited that book like 7 times before I thought it was acceptable. And then I see shit like this take off.Pisses me off so much, I know I can better stuff than this, yet I also know it will never sell as much as this did. * = edit
I feel the real problem is how much this book sold. The amount of TH-cam views the movie's trailer got. It was made a movie, in part, because the book sold very well. That scares and disappoints me. Keep writing and good luck.
As someone who also at one point wanted to be a part of the film industry, I feel your pain. I can't believe with the number of great ideas and great screenplays out there, Hollywood just HAD to go and make a film adaptation of this drivel. It absolutely sickens me.
+Vinnie Chan Transformer 4 is marketed as " a new Start" since they got rid of Shia Lebouef and Replace him with Mark Wahlberg, a much better actor, so people thought it would be different. BUT they forget the "directed by Michael Bay"part.
+jack90054 "a new start", HAH, it's more like the leftovers of a transformers film that had Shia Lebouef in it mixed with the storyline when Dreamwave owned the license...
+awesome420ication At least people were smart enough not to see Fant4stic, removing the risk of sequels. With this movie, people gave their money to the studio, which says to them, "We want to see more of these!"
I have a feeling that the director tried so hard to salvage this movie but the author is too stubborn so in the end the director just gave up. A shitty movie from a shitty book. Even the actors hated it.
yup. Here are some qoutes Jamie Dornan: "Mass appreciation doesn't always equate to something good. Think of Hitler! But I think, in this case, it must. It simply must." Dakota Johnson: "But I don't want my family to see [the movie], because it's inappropriate. Or my brothers' friends, who I grew up with. I think they'd be like, 'Blegh.' Also there's part of me that's like, I don't want anyone to see this movie. Just kidding."
They were actually going to change the horrible dialogue from the book, but the writer bitched to her fans on twitter to boycot the movie if they were going to change anything, so they left it relatively untouched. I mean fuck, even writers of some of the best books of last century never stooped that low.
jeremy ray If I hadn't gotten a job in 5 years I'd agree to direct a multi million dollar franchise too. Too bad she'll probably be discarded in a desperate attempt from the studio to claim the next movie will be better (see: Harry Potter, Twilight, Hunger Games,...) so her career is fucked.
I have a feeling that it'll become the #1 spot, unless something worse is released. I wonder if history will repeat itself similar to when "Twilight: Breaking Dawn (Part 1)" didn't become #1 worst movie despite the rating outside of dogshit.
I didnt know whether to laugh or shake my head when he mentioned that the last movie would be split into 2 parts....like every other fucking book based movie. Just because Harry Potter did it first doesn't mean everyone else can
ThatGiambalvoGuy What about hobbit,Twilight, Hunger Games, and Divergent. Itsnot only books, entire movies are set up to have a sequel. They look so unfinished. Maze runners. etc Its like a new trend to make money.
***** all those movies you mentioned are based on books the thing is just that the trend is right now to split the last book into two movies probably for the money ;)
ThatGiambalvoGuy Well me too, hobbit was the movie i went with my old friends that i rarely meet, so it was a great experience in every way. Sadly there is no hobbit now haha
yeah same here I somehow really enjoyed the things peter jackson added to the hobbit which lead to the three movies. I mean most of it was based on other tolkien lore so I don't mind having a little more middle earth in my life ^^ but sometimes you really think: that was nooot necesary...
Actually, if you add a negative with a negative, it's a bigger negative. So it makes sense mathematically. You're thinking of multiplication and division. Great review though, and I wonder if we'll ever have another movie be rated as "nothing" again.
Oh and, while I haven't read the book or seen the movie, I do disagree with you on one point; that it makes no sense that he would pursue this type of girl. It's actually very common for guys to be attracted to that "innocent" type, especially a dominant guy like the one portrayed in the movie. They get extra pleasure from getting those types of girls to do things they normally wouldn't do.
***** I'd tell my girlfriend that if she wants to watch this, she can buy the ticket and go without me, cause I'm watching mother-fuckin spongebob next theatre down.
"Did you just have to go after the girl who sits in the front row pew for Bible Belt Church?" Jeremy's creative surge shines in his reviews for shit movies.
50 Shades of Grey made 81.7 million dollars over the weekend. Another shitty movie based on another shitty book makes mad bank because we're mostly idiots.
Wait, so a film/book like 50 Shades of Grey is socially acceptable but mothers and women alike, despite the fact that it includes a huge amount of sexism, misogyny and porn. But on the other hand, Watchdogs, GTA and Hitman gets huge amounts of controversy from one woman (not going to name her) just because you can kill women as well as men? WFT is up with society?
Oh and for some unexplainable reason, people are going nuts against Fox News because Fox News hates 50 shades of grey. There are people defending 50 shades of grey from Fox News. I cannot get my head around this. Fox News hates 50 shades of grey, that I can pretty much respect and understand absolutely. What I cannot understand is why are people defending this movie? Why aren't they going completely nuts and calling Fox News out on this and going absolutely apes*** because Fox News called it a bad movie? Someone explain to me why this happening? I know everyone likes to go nuts on Fox News, but when Fox News calls 50 shades bad and everyone is defending Fifty Shades because Fthere is something, I know there is something wrong with the Universe.
アレンテニア Funny thing, Up summed up a love story in 8 minutes better than Twilight could in 4 books and 5 movies and all 50 shades of grey books and movies combined
I have watched this review about 200 times at this point and I still laugh tears every time we get to "because the Illuminati will tear your lives apart". I just ... I can't. That shit's golden, jesus.
+Pers Godiva "It's not as terrible as I thought it was going to be- it was worse" is the perfect way to describe something absolutely abysmal, I use it often now.
My bf and I are thinking about buying a box of condoms and going to watch this movie...and to chuck them at the screen whenever something stupid happens. Something tells me we should get more than one.
Probably the worst movie i've ever seen is batman and robin, but i could laugh at that at how terrible it was. I doubt i'd laugh at this if i ever watched, that being said i hope i don't get a chance
I don't think that was terrible. The writer/director was given a shit everything, so decided to make a hilarious Batman parody. It's hilarious because everyone takes it as a series Batman film. I prefer it to Batman Forever. I'd say the worst film I've ever watched is Grown Ups 2, but I haven't watched much terrible shit such as Jack and Jill, so...
Aeterna Umbra Exact same opinion here man - grown ups 2 will keep the top spot on my shitty movies list for a long time, I guess. (Was dragged into it by a friend. Never again)
"Fifty Shades Of Socially Acceptable Porn That Your Girl Is Gonna Insist She's Allowed To Watch Even After She Made You Delete Your Entire Digital Stash - I Know It's Completely Unfair - The Hypocrisy" -JeremyJahns
Iman Khan I wouldn't say their great. But they are considerably better then their Prequel counterparts. Least Anakin in Clone Wars has some sort of charm compared to his Prequel counterpart who feels more like a creepy sex offender.
I gotta go with Bella and Edward- because at least Christian is a human. But they are both freaking terrible. Anakin and Padme aren't abusive or creepy- they're just stupid, forced, and don't work together. Like BatMack 1.0 said- we got Luke and Leia out of them. :)
I saw this movie with my friend as a joke, it was the most excruciating over 2 hour long joke I have ever had to sit through, i walked out of the theater with a huge headache and no more aroused than I would be after staring at bread for 2 hours
Please people... don't go see things like this as a joke. It gives them money, and if they get money doing something, why would they stop? The only way to insure production of such products ends is to cut off the money, so we must stop things such as "going to see bad movies as a joke".
+MasterCharlie104 If you read the book and pay attention to what's actually on the pages - as in, what is said within the text, rather than what the author intended - it becomes abundantly clear that Christian chose her because she's inexperienced and he wants to take advantage of it. He can do whatever he wants to her under the guise of BDSM, and she won't know better. It utterly shows ELJ's utter failure as an author, because she says 'Oh, it's like this' but the pages say something completely different. It's basically the same thing that happened to Christopher Paolini's Eragon - he was such a terrible author, that his intentions of a good-hearted young man saving the world and doing his best to be the hero the people need became the story of a sociopathic monster who things he deserves things just because, and enjoys murdering innocents. And to answer your question which I took far too seriously, in the novel Ana somehow managed to get through high school without a laptop or email, was totally sheltered and had no idea sex could be anything more than just penis-in-vagina, and the whole world molds to whatever the plot needs, and it's stated within the pages that Christian makes $100,000 AN HOUR, do you think Craigslist exists in this universe? X'D
If this movie makes more money than Avengers: Age of Ultron and Star Wars Episode 7: The Force Awakens combined by the end of this year. I'm done as a movie goer.
It will not make more money but i bet that it has a much higher profit margin than those other movies. I mean one doesnt even have to pay someone to make bad cgi (like in twilight), just let a firstgrader write your script and find some people to act this shit out. the most expensive part will be the marketing, but since your shitty movie is so bad, there are enough people who will rage about it which results in more publicity--> win-win I should do shitty movies as well...
+Crimson Head98 I have yet to watch this movie but I'm going to bite the bullet and see if it's actually as horrible as people make it to be. I find that horrible movies marketed towards females gets shitted on more, then shitty ass movies aimed at males, like for instance Transformers.
+Sweetp000433 I totally agree on the male/female thing, nice point. But, as someone who doesn't even know you or where are you from, I say: don't waste your time. Unless you're like me, who only shits on stuff that I've already saw, no other opinions matter that much. Seriously, NOTHING makes sense and the source material looks like art next to it. It doesn't even carries the dark, real side of sex abuse, sexual exploration, virginity, insecurity, stuff like that. It's just a bunch of nonsense.
UsonoHoushi it will get ripped a part it will get violated like how this movie violated everyone who saw it..so yes i think it deserves "Everything Wrong With"
My parents are in their 70s, and know nothing about 50 shades, they rarely ever go to the cinema. I convinced them that this super cool new action movie was being released and everyone is talking about it and they should see it and its called 50 shades of gray. ... They saw it. I've never heard so much awkward silence at the dinner table, like I did that night.
buca117 A day later, they have fully recovered. I think they were put off more by the general shiteness of the movie, than any of its borderline inappropriate ostentatious themes.
TokyoKazama The laundry list of offenses committed by this movie means that you purposely shoved them through shit creek for a laugh. Whether they took issue with the pseudo-BDSM, the obvious rape and abuse, the shitty writing, the wooden acting, the ridiculous premise, or the poor casting, there was always going to be something horrible they had to endure. Messed up, bro. Messed up.
Well my girlfriend and I went to see Kingsman last night and we both loved it and she really doesn't want to go see Fifty Shades but she is being forced to go see it with some friends and her sister. Yeah I know, I have an amazing girlfriend which is also a great friend, taking a bullet for the rest.
I haven't seen it so I don't know how bad it is, and we're only like half way through the year, but yes if he hated it more than twilight I think it's pretty safe to say this will be number 1
eg6gsr Nah, all the twilight films were Dogshit, cuz they are lol. But at LEAST they were just shitty films trying to take themselves seriously with an overall Plot!. 50 Shades HAS NO PLOT! It's just a glorified porn film and it does a bad job at even being a good erotic porn film. So yeah... when a porn film isn't even a good porn film, then it's worse than dogshit and shouldn't even be in theatres
eg6gsr Oh yeah! lol you guys are right.. I totally forgot about that movie ever getting that rating. It was just so shit to me I wanted to forget about seeing the film.
Watch the number of breakups and divorces skyrocket while this is out in theaters. Cause when the girlfriend/wife tries to drag their dude to see this one he's going to draw the line. For you poor unfortunate souls who will be going to see this all I can say is may the force be with you.
My friend Carrie said that she wanted to see it with me, and I was like May the power of Christ compel you! She's a total tomboy, so for a minute I legit tout that she was possessed.
The shitiest movie I've ever seen was "The Room." I mean, I know some people get a kick out of watching it because of exactly how terrible it is but I just couldn't. Initially I also felt that way, but towards the end of the movie I just got depressed. I'm an aspiring writer and the movie depressed me because all I kept thinking about was how someone could make a movie this atrocious and not realise that that's what they were doing. It just plays on my worst fears. I had to literally lay down on my bed depressed for 10 minutes after watching that movie. Never once have I had that happen before or since.
I actually got to meet Johnny wassue in real life. He gave me a piece of candy and he was selling merchandise like Johnny wassue underwear and hey doggy plushiea
I hate Twilight. I hate Fifty Shades. The mere mention of 'Did your girl friend drag you...' Dude really? I was dragged by this guy that I work with cause he thinks the lead girl is hot. I wanted to go to Kingsman. He thinks Fifty Shades is a good movie, I lost two hours of my life that I'll never get back. I'd rather watch the Last Airbender than that pos. Urg...and I have strongly negative feelings about that pos too.
I lose it every time I hear him say "where have you been all my life" "waiting for you" Hahahaha Jeremy this is one of your best reviews. I'm a chick and I'm telling you right now, this movie was fucking ridiculous and I cannot believe I let my friend drag me to the damn theater to see this disaster. Hahaha!
mikeshogunlee Uuuhm... right... the truth is, you see, I don't have a wife... and I still live with my parents... and I'm virgin... I'm just delusional... see... it's all just in my head... I'm so sad.
is a sex fantasy for girls boring average girl intended to be an insert character for the female audience, meets with perfect boybriend that is out of her league, but falls in love with her because she's SPECIAL (she's not) in part 2 introduce a second perfect boybriend who also falls in love with her and they FIGHT FOR HER LOVE AND ATENTION
The same could be said about why do Guys love Fast & Furious and Transformers when they both have crappy and laughable dialogue. It's just a harmless fantasy for Women. We guys have our mindless action with Hot Women. Let the Women have their mindless Sex fest. Not everything has to be an Oscar Movie. I don't see why so many are getting so passionate about hating Fifty Shades. If it's not for you then why give a Crap and waste so much energy on hating it? Just ignore it
One thing: main girl changes something about main guy because she's "special" 50 shades gets 50 women points for being women porn. BTW I am a woman. and seeing how this book got a movie makes me sad.
Well, if we're going for anime or animated series adaptations, then..The Last Airbender movie by M.Night was *horrible*, too. Can't decide which is worse: Dragon Ball Evolution or The Last Airbender. .
Paradox Acres in my opinion...Evolution was the worst movie, on the basis that the last air bender at least tried to be a faithful adaption, Evolution shat on the heart and soul of dragonball fans
shadygrady3000 redZ ...but they needed _five Earthbenders_ to throw a tiny, little rock. But yeah..it's not a "contest", but when we talk about Dogshit Movies, then movies like The Last Airbender, Dragonball Evolution & the Twilight movies will be at the top of most people's list.
If I had a girlfriend and she wanted to see this film, I would just dump her on the spot. And that probably explains the exact reason I don't have a girlfriend and probably never will.
"probably explains the exact reason I don't have a girlfriend and probably never will." Contrary to popular belief that is not a bad thing my friend. Look up *"MGTOW"* here on youtube.
"Fifty Shades of socially acceptable porn that your girlfriend is gonna insist she is allowed to watch but she made you delete your entire digital stash i know it's completely unfair THE HYPOCRISSSSY" So much conviction when he said 'The Hypocrisy' that shit is real lol
I can't believe my mom loves this pile of garbage. Fifty Shades Of Grey is the worst movie ever made. I should called this movie Fifty Dogshits Of Barf.
It's my goal to never see this movie, ever. Nothing against anyone who likes the 50 shades of grey book and/or movie, It's just that I haven't seen Goodfellas yet. Goodfellas!!! I also heard Kingsman, The Secret Service is fucking amazing so I need get on that first, DEFINITELY & There are quite a few classics I need to catch up on so 50 shades of grey is not for me, ever. I just don't have the time, and I won't... ever. PS If you think Jeremy's misogynist in this review, fucking calm down and check yourself. Everything he said is legit.
I haven't seen this movie and I never will. But I just want to say something to Hollywood and authors who write stories like these. "Stop making female characters so weak and useless!" Seriously, women don't need men in their lives. They choose to have men in their lives because they want to, not because they have to. Also, women can be strong, independent, and badass! Heck, I want to see Walt Disney make a movie about a fallen princess, who has become an adventurer and trained in martial arts, going on adventures and kicking the holy-living hell out of bad guys, even kill. Enough of making women the damsel-in-distress. Make them able to defend themselves and actually save the day for once.
people make movies to earn as much money as they can. If movies like 50 shades of gray are so popular (even though i believe it is shitty) then you would only see more of movies like that. Btw most guys doesn't enjoy seeing romance movies (which perpetuate damsel in distress scenarios), they watch them only with partners. So when mostly female audience stop buying books and watch movies which contain damsel in distress scenarios at that point they would stop making them.
Alison Mitchell Not current enough. Sure, a good ole movie is still good, but when there are new creators for a new generation, they tend to forget them. A reference maybe, but that's a stretch.
canegemen tuna Okay, I recognize that Hollywood has done awesome female characters in the past. I only meant that they don't do them enough today. Second, women can be strong characters by personality. It's not all about physically ability. And also, I don't believe that nature intended for men to be dominate (and I'm a guy). I believe both sides are meant to be dominate together. We shouldn't leave women out. They can do more than we realize.
You so realise the author is a woman? And if women didn't like it the book wouldn't sell millions upon millions upon millions of copies, and the movie is doing incredibly well at the box office like really really well. It's not men going to watch this it's the women.
I have to say this was one of the most shitty movies I've ever seen! I actually felt you about the chemistry with this two! Zero to none! What a waste of time! But well, sex sells so that's why there will be 3 more movies or so! And it was kind of awkward as well when I went to the movies to watch this shitty movie because the cinema was full of women like on their 40s or so.... so awkward my God!
Nope. Don't buy it. I would buy it's the worst movie you've ever seen if you've seen two movies, the first one Lord of the rings and the second one The Last Airbender, then yeah. Other than that... noope.
Jeremy i'm a little disappointed, you came off as a misogynistic. I bet if you've read the book then watched the movie you would be as pleased as I was. Besides why wouldn't you believe that she was saving herself for the right person? Sometimes things don't always work out and unforseen person like grey are the exceptions. This movie deserved an "Coup De Force" I bet if you were a women you would agree with me. Who else takes full offense to this review? I say it's downright disgusting!
Are you seriouse the book is basically porn porn that can be required by the internet I don't know if your a troll or not big fucking A man this book is bad woman who read the book just to be horny are stupid
If the book itself is perceived as 'dogshit', then its only logical that an accurate screen adaptation of that book would also be 'dogshit' . Please don't go losing any sleep over this review, it's just one man's thoughts. Despite how fact based and true they actually are.
Yeah, that made me really wish they'd stopped at "Live Free or Die Hard." Mind you, that one sometimes made me wish they'd kept it a trilogy, but 5 was completely awful. I was actually BORED during a "Die Hard" movie; that ain't right.
dcskaeur Really? Huh, different strokes for different folks I guess; 5 just felt like a painfully obvious sad attempt to recreate the original. I found myself looking for Hans Gruber.
That makes no sense. At no point did this movie portray homosexuality. Frankly you just made yourself sound homophobic by shoehorning that in when it is completely irrelevant. Yeah this is a shit film but at-least make your jokes make sense.
GF will not take my word for it when I say this movie is bad. She says 'Some people are into that!' Well the people I know who are into that know that it's practically rape when you ignore the safety word. And Twilight's shitty reason, that Edward just can't get enough of Bella's smell or w/e, was still a better reason than Bumpity Bump !
***** Thank You. The reason for a safe word is you might say 'no' on accident or part of your roll or slight case of nerves. In this context (BDSM) it can be ignored. That's WHY a SAFE word is created. It is the stopping point. BDSM is what it is but it's still CONSENSUAL. IF the safe word is used it stops, period. That's part of the contract. Anything past that, it's NOT consensual, which makes it rape.
![ลองสั่งของจากแอพ temu ถูกจริงหรอ?? ( part : 1/2 ) [โกงไหมครับ ep.89 ] | DOM](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RTcZSQTiDZw/mqdefault.jpg)
Still a better love story than twigh.... Oh shit, it's not
Nice
Hopefully "Still a better love story than 50 Shades" goes somewhere. It doesn't roll off of the tongue as well as Twilight, though...
Hahaha
Katahn Hardy freaking NAILED IT. as jeremy himself asked "how did we get here?" just wow.
New saying "Twilight is still a better love story than 50 Shades of Grey"
New rating system.
Awesometacular
Bluray
No alchohol
Drunk
T-Minus
Dogshit
Nothing (The Vortex)
The Vortex*
You forgot tou da force
Upload3123412 Tour de force* It's french, not ebonics.
***** neutral?
He rated twilight nothing so this is not a new rating LOL
If Grey wasn't a billionaire, this would be a criminal minds episode, not a love story
+Richard Tsai I think that line is in a Megadeth song.
+Jack Moody Agreed. I also feel like it's very Lifetime movie circa the 90s......sex, and abuse toward a weak woman.
+Jack Moody Or a Law and Order: SVU episode. which actually Svu did had an ep kind of like this.
***** Lmao!! "Rapey D rated porn fest"...omg yes lol..this made my day. This is what bored housewives WISH bdsm was like. Makes it seem more "approachable" to them...it really reminds me of Redbook ads and the like in the 50's like "How to make your man want you in bed"..."20 dirty tricks to fit his fancy!" etc etc....
+Jack Moody
hahahaha u my friend should be a writer. lol
Still a better love story then... wait, nevermind.
Twilight was better than this shit
+Nicole Chen its a shit inspired of a shit
+Nicole Chen Amen!
+shane55pwnt Not this time son.....
Not this time....
+O®iGinal Perfection👌 Shitception
My girlfriend told me lets go see Kingsman instead of this tonight. Wife status: confirmed.
You are a lucky guy.
She's a keeper.
You better hang on to her for dear life m8.You are quite lucky
get rid of her quickly for she may just be too smart and awesome for you to handle in the near future. lol
COREY!!! YOU KEEP HER SON, YOU KEEP HER AN YOU NEVER EVER LOOK BACK!!!!!! LISTEN MY SON!!!!!! DONT LET HER GOOOOOOOOOOOO :)
Mathew K she might do that "Gone Girl" shit.
The feeling I get when I think about the fact that this is marketed toward women, and seems to be fairly successful, is probably the closest I will ever get to feeling ashamed of my gender. Seriously ladies? Really? We've gone from Mr. Darcy, a classic romantic character willing to stop being a huge jerk to everyone around him because the woman he loved rejected him for it, to THIS douchbag getting rewarded for worse behavior? Ugh, I give up on modern romance...
Anjela Allen The last good romance film I've seen is Before Midnight (2013?), but it's more realism than romance.
Sterling Cooper Midnight's Children is really good. Very sad, but good.
For me it was what dreams may come. Say what you will about the movie as a whole, but it is hard to top a man willing to sacrifice his eternal soul for his soul mate.
classicblue "What Dreams May Come" is the only VHS I decided to keep years ago when I switched over to DVD...lol. It's THAT good folks.
I'm a man, and I'm not into "chick flicks" even though my mother and two sisters have forced me to watch those kinds of movies. But even though it's not my type - I can still appreciate the elements at play.
That being said, Pride and Prejudice is too good to be compared to this garbage... by far!
Jane Austin's masterpiece story is the pinnacle of the classical romance, I can see comparing Cinderella Story or She's the Man to Pride and Prejudice... but this smut?
I don't think it has earned the comparison, I don't think there are many modern romances that have earned that comparison - but least of all 50 Shades.
If children are being brought up in a world where 50 Shades can get this big, we need to force them to read better romances in school to counter balance it.
Jeremy...Jeremy...I'm a woman and this book/movie DISGUST ME ! The guy is an abusive, manipulative asshole !!
This book is about abuse..NOT BDSM or 'girl porn' or whatever...
AND PLEASE, can guys stop pretending they're the only ones who watch porn and girls only watch good old romance and are innocent creatures who only live to crash men's balls and FORCE them to delete their porn..LIKE i don't care if you watch por...
We live in a free country and i'm always in a HEALTHY relationship...Like, Do what you want with your computer, watch porn if you wish to..
OTHER THAN THAT..THE REST of the video was GOLD :D
Alexfolledemoi so your basically saying you would be ok if your boyfriend watch porn 90% of the time, eat %9 of the time and only give you only 1% of time? Also the majority of the fifty shades of porn are females (for some reason). Also the beginning of your second paragraph makes no sense
Advanced Prime where in my comment did i say that ? :)
I only said that it's ok if your partner watches a bit of porn AS LONG AS you still appreciate each other and make time for one another and keep in mind that porn it's just porn. it's way better to have real sex with your partner and ALSO i said "healthy relationship..What you describe is an unhealthy relationship..o f course I WOULD NOT have that kind of relationship ! What i said was that it's ok to watch some porn..of course im' not going to stay with someone who watches porn 90% of their time..like at this point it's sick and creepy :D !
All i'm saying is 'watch your porn if you want to as long as you still cherish and
me'
I think Jeremy was mostly just making a joke using a stereotype. It's not like this actually happens.
^this guy
well i SURE HOPE it was only a joke ! :p
Jeremy has referenced Twilight as the positive comparison...the world is ending...
I sure hope the world is ending If that is the case.
+Riley Freeman No when Kanye West runs for president that will be the sign of the end times
+Jack Rose better than trymp
Life has just lost meaning to a twilight fan fiction
Jack Rose You're talking to Rily Freeman here. I think he approves.
This movie makes the Twilight Saga look like Shakespeare ...
"I've never read anything so badly written that got published. It made Twilight look like War and Peace."
-Salman Rushdie
melissa mmorris
LMFAO.
According to book critic, this book made Twilight like War and Peace
This is an excuse for liking Twilight
Marian Guerra
lol good point
As a woman I can say my interest in watching this film is in the negatives. And all my female friends also think it's a pile of worse than dogshit.
Sooo...u want a cookie for having a brain? Lol
Iredomi lol
Iredomi ...says the person calling people dicks on TH-cam. Girls who hate this fifty shades shit shouldn't be in the minority in the first place, so kindly fuck off :)
***** You should get a cookie because of your name.
Okay. I was not going around calling people dicks just you. Your comment did nothing but undermine Kings opinion. Or least undermine any reason for them sharing their opinion. It was patronizing, and really quite offensive for multiple reasons and you should be called out for it even if admittedly I did this in a rather juvenile way. (Also the lol was there to try and make my response seem more jovial rather than a fully earnest reprimand because I don't know you.) And I assume you were being a bit more playful than I have interpreted you being but there you go. I shall proceed to kindly fuck off now =)
Jeremy's worst movie of the year. Calling it now.
I would say
1. Fifty Shades of Grey
2. Fant4stic
3. Pan
4. Vacation
5. Hot Pursuit
6. Transporter Refueled
7. Jupiter Ascending
8. Hitman Agent 47
9. Pixels
10. Taken 3
No he hates Pan more so it would be above Fant4stic (which I recently saw and didn't find to be AS BAD as others say)
+Riley Freeman He hated Pan more than Fant4stic
+Jonathan Partin Dude. Nice prediction. Congrats
+Jonathan Partin your right.
I guess we should thank 50 Shades. It gave us Jeremy followers a brand new rating.
The NOTHING!!!!!
Oh no, 50 Shades still has nothing to be thankful for. It was actually Jeremy's review of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 that first received the coveted "Nothing" rating.
Also, let's not forget the least used rating: It's Oscar worthy!
Andrew Davis Yep, I just saw that review to confirm. :)
Sweet Game Geek Jr. What review had the Oscar worthy rating?
GunganHero Ok, not the only one wondering, good to know
my girlfriend ask me if do you want to go see fifty shades of grey and i said yeah so she went and got dressed came back and was wondering why i wasn't get ready , and i said I've already started watching it looks at my phone im watching porn because who pays for porn
you don't have a girlfriend though lmao
gwabashnuba shhhh.... let it happen
***** I agree lmao
my boyfriend ask me if do you want to go see Kingsmen and i said yeah so he went and got his wallet came back and was wondering why i wasn't get ready , and i said I've already started watching it looks at my phone im watching explosions because who pays for explosions
He beat me up.
De Pieter Actually if you want something that's similar to kingsmen, you'd have to be watching Saw and James bond at the same time. Or switch Saw with Kick Ass... or final destination...
Either way it's any violent movie and James bond. You'd still have to pay, but it will be the closet thing.
Sometimes I come back to this review just for lols.
+Lucy Cottee I do it to
+Lucy Cottee Lol me too XD
Same. Watching Jeremy rip into terrible movies never gets old!
"I can assess one thing: she's a gold-digging whore"
Gets me every time.
I agree this is one of Jeremy's best review videos
Angry Jeremy is the best Jeremy.
Jeremy is love, Jeremy is life.
lol i subscribed to angry jeremy for sure..he gets mad so we dont have to hahaha
AngryJeremyShow?...
George Neelath
I would pay money for that shit.
Jeremy smash!
"It's just shit, inspired by shit, which creates more shit." Lol how eloquent.
accurate though:P
Wow. I think Shakesphere is rolling in his grave jealous about how poetic that was.
So true LOL
Thank you Jeremy for making this sacrifice. Thank you for watching this so we don't have to.
lmao very fucking true
Jeremy Jahns is a hero!
Jeremy is love. Jeremy is life
A moment of salute for Jeremy everyone
The_Weasel_2012
the following
If I had a boyfriend, I would never torture him by dragging him to this trash :/
Want to go out some time? lol xD
+The Chaos Dragoness Thanks God!
I can tell by your profile pic. PS Rick & Morty for 100 years!
Same, if I wasn't forever alone. Shit maybe that's the problem! Fml
Wubba wubba lub da
Is it safe to call this Jeremy's worst movie of 2015 already?
I've never seen him give such a bad review to a movie. He said it was "less than dogshit" I highly doubt anything worse will come out
I'm looking foward on summer movies
It'll probably be on his top ten worst movies of 2015.
Just wait, there is another Nicholas Spark movie coming that looks horrible. Lol.
Blaaz101 Let's hope the day where a movie worse than Fifty Shades comes out doesn't ever happen.
"You can't have your weird freak hybrid baby because the illuminati will like tear your lives apart or some shit" always makes me laugh
As an aspiring writer who has gotten rejected several times and is always working to get better and hopefully getting published one day, it baffles me how this piece of poorly written crap was even considered for publication. I am happy I've been rejected, because I get advice, I write and read more, and become better. And as a perfectionist, I am oftentimes my own worst critic, and I would be ashamed and unwilling to show my face in public if I had written Fifty Shades of Grey. Whoever let this get published should be ashamed of themselves. They did not do their job, and now we're paying for it.
It's called self publishing through Amazon.
I think it's called shitty ass publishing through the magic of the internet. God bless 'Merica
Yeah, as someone who wrote their first book (300ish pages*) and thought it was shit, I agree. I edited that book like 7 times before I thought it was acceptable. And then I see shit like this take off.Pisses me off so much, I know I can better stuff than this, yet I also know it will never sell as much as this did.
* = edit
I feel the real problem is how much this book sold. The amount of TH-cam views the movie's trailer got. It was made a movie, in part, because the book sold very well. That scares and disappoints me. Keep writing and good luck.
As someone who also at one point wanted to be a part of the film industry, I feel your pain. I can't believe with the number of great ideas and great screenplays out there, Hollywood just HAD to go and make a film adaptation of this drivel. It absolutely sickens me.
This movie made $570 million which is over 12 times it's budget so fuck logic.
+awesome420ication People are stupid. Horny and stupid. Curious, horny and really fucking stupid.
I think a few movies which ppl knew were shite but still showed up hoping they werent gonna be
Transformer 4 is another example
+Vinnie Chan Transformer 4 is marketed as " a new Start" since they got rid of Shia Lebouef and Replace him with Mark Wahlberg, a much better actor, so people thought it would be different. BUT they forget the "directed by Michael Bay"part.
+jack90054 "a new start", HAH, it's more like the leftovers of a transformers film that had Shia Lebouef in it mixed with the storyline when Dreamwave owned the license...
+awesome420ication At least people were smart enough not to see Fant4stic, removing the risk of sequels. With this movie, people gave their money to the studio, which says to them, "We want to see more of these!"
I have a feeling that the director tried so hard to salvage this movie but the author is too stubborn so in the end the director just gave up.
A shitty movie from a shitty book.
Even the actors hated it.
You're on the money. the director and the writer didn't get along on set.
yup. Here are some qoutes
Jamie Dornan: "Mass appreciation doesn't always equate to something good. Think of Hitler! But I think, in this case, it must. It simply must."
Dakota Johnson: "But I don't want my family to see [the movie], because it's inappropriate. Or my brothers' friends, who I grew up with. I think they'd be like, 'Blegh.' Also there's part of me that's like, I don't want anyone to see this movie. Just kidding."
They were actually going to change the horrible dialogue from the book, but the writer bitched to her fans on twitter to boycot the movie if they were going to change anything, so they left it relatively untouched. I mean fuck, even writers of some of the best books of last century never stooped that low.
jeremy ray If I hadn't gotten a job in 5 years I'd agree to direct a multi million dollar franchise too. Too bad she'll probably be discarded in a desperate attempt from the studio to claim the next movie will be better (see: Harry Potter, Twilight, Hunger Games,...) so her career is fucked.
even Charlie Hunnam (who according to the fans looks more like Christian Grey than Dornan) dropped out because the script was a pile of shit
"Twilight....mark this day..:" best part :D
hilarious
+Nazael Rahl Cuz it's based on Twilight fanfic! XD
I love that part too xD
I have a feeling we are going to see 50 Shades again at the end of the year for 2015's worst movies.
You and me both my friend.
I have a feeling that it'll become the #1 spot, unless something worse is released. I wonder if history will repeat itself similar to when "Twilight: Breaking Dawn (Part 1)" didn't become #1 worst movie despite the rating outside of dogshit.
I shudder to think what kind of crap 2015 would have to produce for 50 Shades to NOT show up on the "worst movies" list. O_o
Well to be fair I have never seen Jeremy shit this much over something, I think this is gonna be "the" worst movie of 2015
Betting its number 1
"Worse than dogshit" That's the first I heard that, so yup, gotta be your worst film for 2015
Twightlight breaking dawn part 1 got nothing to.
Trust me that review is more funny than this one lol
+Crimson Head98 Haha many thanks for the heads-up. You are right, that was hilarious!!
+Krishnaeternal That needs to be a new rating
I didnt know whether to laugh or shake my head when he mentioned that the last movie would be split into 2 parts....like every other fucking book based movie. Just because Harry Potter did it first doesn't mean everyone else can
ThatGiambalvoGuy What about hobbit,Twilight, Hunger Games, and Divergent. Itsnot only books, entire movies are set up to have a sequel. They look so unfinished. Maze runners. etc Its like a new trend to make money.
***** all those movies you mentioned are based on books the thing is just that the trend is right now to split the last book into two movies probably for the money ;)
*****
The Hobbit I didnt mind too much being 3 movies
ThatGiambalvoGuy Well me too, hobbit was the movie i went with my old friends that i rarely meet, so it was a great experience in every way. Sadly there is no hobbit now haha
yeah same here I somehow really enjoyed the things peter jackson added to the hobbit which lead to the three movies. I mean most of it was based on other tolkien lore so I don't mind having a little more middle earth in my life ^^
but sometimes you really think: that was nooot necesary...
Actually, if you add a negative with a negative, it's a bigger negative. So it makes sense mathematically. You're thinking of multiplication and division. Great review though, and I wonder if we'll ever have another movie be rated as "nothing" again.
Oh and, while I haven't read the book or seen the movie, I do disagree with you on one point; that it makes no sense that he would pursue this type of girl. It's actually very common for guys to be attracted to that "innocent" type, especially a dominant guy like the one portrayed in the movie. They get extra pleasure from getting those types of girls to do things they normally wouldn't do.
This is the 2nd movie to get the "black screen" or "nothing" rating. He gave it to Twilight Breaking Dawn pt 1.
***** Oh, interesting. I didn't know that, thanks.
***** but that would be science
Multiply?
If you chose to watch this over Kingsman, there is something wrong with you.
***** No ass is worth watching this monstrosity. It makes Twilight look like a masterpiece.
***** I'd tell my girlfriend that if she wants to watch this, she can buy the ticket and go without me, cause I'm watching mother-fuckin spongebob next theatre down.
John Paige LMFAO you are so funny XD
Mr. Pan I would do same cx
***** I will never understand the sex for the sake of sex thing. I'd say sex for the sake of love instead like the cheesy motherfucker that I am!
"Did you just have to go after the girl who sits in the front row pew for Bible Belt Church?"
Jeremy's creative surge shines in his reviews for shit movies.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
you mean brilliant movies right?
no I'm sure he means shit
Bible Belt Church = BBC
XD
50 Shades of Grey made 81.7 million dollars over the weekend. Another shitty movie based on another shitty book makes mad bank because we're mostly idiots.
tell me you didn't contribute to this shitty movie, you're a guy for Christ sake!
I have lost faith in humanity's intelligence.
kc2788x Dude, wtf does that mean? Just because you did does not mean he, nor anyone else here, did.
TorqueSkeptic Why the hell would I contribute to this movie??
The way you phrased your comment made it seem like you'd contributed... My mistake.
Wait, so a film/book like 50 Shades of Grey is socially acceptable but mothers and women alike, despite the fact that it includes a huge amount of sexism, misogyny and porn.
But on the other hand, Watchdogs, GTA and Hitman gets huge amounts of controversy from one woman (not going to name her) just because you can kill women as well as men?
WFT is up with society?
I meant to say "by", not "but"
Anakin Skywalker and Padme we're still a better couple than these two.
Oh and for some unexplainable reason, people are going nuts against Fox News because Fox News hates 50 shades of grey. There are people defending 50 shades of grey from Fox News. I cannot get my head around this. Fox News hates 50 shades of grey, that I can pretty much respect and understand absolutely. What I cannot understand is why are people defending this movie? Why aren't they going completely nuts and calling Fox News out on this and going absolutely apes*** because Fox News called it a bad movie? Someone explain to me why this happening? I know everyone likes to go nuts on Fox News, but when Fox News calls 50 shades bad and everyone is defending Fifty Shades because Fthere is something, I know there is something wrong with the Universe.
Lannister Power
Sorry, but no.Fox news is a God send compaired to 50 Shades, and no one can tell me otherwise.
Lannister Power Keep telling lies to yourself.
Lannister Power
I pity you.
Lannister Power
Keep telling yourself that. What ever helps you sleep at night.
Harlequin and The Joker make a better love story than this.
アレンテニア Funny thing, Up summed up a love story in 8 minutes better than Twilight could in 4 books and 5 movies and all 50 shades of grey books and movies combined
The Thinkers Up is a better love story than most things out there if we're really honest
+アレンテニア And less disfunctional
+Film Geek Up made me care for a couple way faster then most love stories ever could.
**Harley Quinn and their relationship was perfect but not as perfect as Harley herself lel
I have watched this review about 200 times at this point and I still laugh tears every time we get to "because the Illuminati will tear your lives apart". I just ... I can't. That shit's golden, jesus.
+Pers Godiva Me too. My favorite part is when he does that thing with his fingers and says "ohhh, it's like Twilight". So funny!
+Pers Godiva "It's not as terrible as I thought it was going to be- it was worse" is the perfect way to describe something absolutely abysmal, I use it often now.
My bf and I are thinking about buying a box of condoms and going to watch this movie...and to chuck them at the screen whenever something stupid happens. Something tells me we should get more than one.
Lol DO IT
Buy a ticket to Kingsman and then go do that. Don't support this movie.
Then go watch Kingsman
Or give out the condoms to whoever goes to see this and encourage a giant orgy. I'm sure that'd be more entertaining to watch lol.
used condoms plz, this movie deserves no less
I'm one of the luck ones. My girlfriend saw right through this and we didn't see. Oh, and we spent Valentine's Day watching deadpool so... Yeah.
+Ethan Lawrence Tell your girlfriend that she's awesome
Dude, wife her
Are wedding bells in the air?
To quote a wise man,
MARRY HER NOW!
Seriously dude, marry this girl.
Now THAT'S a thumbnail.
You’re laughing, Jeremy is hanging himself and you’re laughing
Probably the worst movie i've ever seen is batman and robin, but i could laugh at that at how terrible it was. I doubt i'd laugh at this if i ever watched, that being said i hope i don't get a chance
I don't think that was terrible. The writer/director was given a shit everything, so decided to make a hilarious Batman parody. It's hilarious because everyone takes it as a series Batman film. I prefer it to Batman Forever. I'd say the worst film I've ever watched is Grown Ups 2, but I haven't watched much terrible shit such as Jack and Jill, so...
Oh hey Jeb :D
Aeterna Umbra Exact same opinion here man - grown ups 2 will keep the top spot on my shitty movies list for a long time, I guess. (Was dragged into it by a friend. Never again)
Well, there is a difference between The Room bad and BAD bad, Batman and Robin is hilariously bad, Fifty Shades of Grey is nothing.
Grown ups 2 was like watching kevin hart compared to this
"Fifty Shades Of Socially Acceptable Porn That Your Girl Is Gonna Insist She's Allowed To Watch Even After She Made You Delete Your Entire Digital Stash - I Know It's Completely Unfair - The Hypocrisy"
-JeremyJahns
Barry Villacarillo hypocrisy*
Which is the worst love story out of these three:
1. Bella and Edward
2. Anakin and Padme
3. Anastasia and Christian
Anakin and Padme is way more tolerable than the other two.
If you see Anakin and Padme in Clone Wars they're pretty fucking great. But in the movies... yeaaahhhhh no thanks.
Iman Khan I wouldn't say their great. But they are considerably better then their Prequel counterparts. Least Anakin in Clone Wars has some sort of charm compared to his Prequel counterpart who feels more like a creepy sex offender.
I gotta go with Bella and Edward- because at least Christian is a human. But they are both freaking terrible. Anakin and Padme aren't abusive or creepy- they're just stupid, forced, and don't work together. Like BatMack 1.0 said- we got Luke and Leia out of them. :)
Bane Knightfall, how about Trump and his wife?
Anyone rewatching this review after the Fifty Shades Darker trailer was released?
me
SimonBRUH8217... again meee!
Should be renamed 50 Shades of *Dog Shit*
50 Shades of NOTHING
ColonelJak95 50 shades of vortex
50 Shades of Gay
Or as Chris Stuckmann put, Fifty Shades of Total Fucking Shit.
LOL! XD
That was beautiful. Better than I could have hoped. Well done Jeremy. 50 shades of dog shit confirmed!
fifty shades of nothing.
I heard it ended with a cliff hanger, so they must be making fifty shades of crap 2
"Its the most forced romance ever since Anakin and Padme"
True. True facts.
I saw this movie with my friend as a joke, it was the most excruciating over 2 hour long joke I have ever had to sit through, i walked out of the theater with a huge headache and no more aroused than I would be after staring at bread for 2 hours
Lmao
Please people... don't go see things like this as a joke. It gives them money, and if they get money doing something, why would they stop? The only way to insure production of such products ends is to cut off the money, so we must stop things such as "going to see bad movies as a joke".
..how dare you insult bread.
You take that back, sir.
Im guessing that every second was the punch (...in the balls...with tasered brass knuckles) line
Lmaoooooooo staring at bread
Still don't get why this dominant has to pursue this innocent virgin. Does Craigslist not exist in this universe?
+MasterCharlie104 If you read the book and pay attention to what's actually on the pages - as in, what is said within the text, rather than what the author intended - it becomes abundantly clear that Christian chose her because she's inexperienced and he wants to take advantage of it. He can do whatever he wants to her under the guise of BDSM, and she won't know better. It utterly shows ELJ's utter failure as an author, because she says 'Oh, it's like this' but the pages say something completely different. It's basically the same thing that happened to Christopher Paolini's Eragon - he was such a terrible author, that his intentions of a good-hearted young man saving the world and doing his best to be the hero the people need became the story of a sociopathic monster who things he deserves things just because, and enjoys murdering innocents.
And to answer your question which I took far too seriously, in the novel Ana somehow managed to get through high school without a laptop or email, was totally sheltered and had no idea sex could be anything more than just penis-in-vagina, and the whole world molds to whatever the plot needs, and it's stated within the pages that Christian makes $100,000 AN HOUR, do you think Craigslist exists in this universe? X'D
+Joey Matheny
you actually took time to read the book?
jordanrb1996
If I'm going to criticize something, I like to know what the hell I'm talking about, haha.
Joey Matheny still though
jordanrb1996
I never said I was proud of it. :(
50 Shades of Grey created a new rating. Well something positive came out.
Twilight Breaking Dawn created it actually. I feel sorry that Jeremy had to watch this to review.
It has been used before
+madox gaming really? On jahns Chanel? For which movie?
Yeah...
If this movie makes more money than Avengers: Age of Ultron and Star Wars Episode 7: The Force Awakens combined by the end of this year. I'm done as a movie goer.
It won't.
I promise you it won't come even remotely close.
It will not make more money but i bet that it has a much higher profit margin than those other movies. I mean one doesnt even have to pay someone to make bad cgi (like in twilight), just let a firstgrader write your script and find some people to act this shit out. the most expensive part will be the marketing, but since your shitty movie is so bad, there are enough people who will rage about it which results in more publicity--> win-win
I should do shitty movies as well...
It won't get even close to Star Wars.
Wrong approach John. You gotta keep going to the movies YOU like or studios will think people only want the crap.
Who is here at the end of 2015.
reliving this shit.
+Crimson Head98 I have yet to watch this movie but I'm going to bite the bullet and see if it's actually as horrible as people make it to be. I find that horrible movies marketed towards females gets shitted on more, then shitty ass movies aimed at males, like for instance Transformers.
+Sweetp000433 I totally agree on the male/female thing, nice point.
But, as someone who doesn't even know you or where are you from, I say: don't waste your time.
Unless you're like me, who only shits on stuff that I've already saw, no other opinions matter that much.
Seriously, NOTHING makes sense and the source material looks like art next to it.
It doesn't even carries the dark, real side of sex abuse, sexual exploration, virginity, insecurity, stuff like that. It's just a bunch of nonsense.
I can't sleep right now and I'm going to watch it now anyway :)
+Matheus Sousa What the hell was that ending, that was a really bad movie. Wow.
+Sweetp000433 Told ya
In the era of internet porn, this movie is worthless
The Mandalorian What do you mean? Every woman I know hates fifty shades of grey!
I'm not even going to torrent this.
Not worth a download
Inbetweener You think it's worth an "Everything Wrong With", though?
I would be just a little bit bearable than actually watching it... I hope.
Real BDSM will give you less pain than torrenting this movie. And less viruses.
UsonoHoushi it will get ripped a part it will get violated like how this movie violated everyone who saw it..so yes i think it deserves "Everything Wrong With"
UsonoHoushi
Oh boy i hope it gets that treatment very soon.
My parents are in their 70s, and know nothing about 50 shades, they rarely ever go to the cinema. I convinced them that this super cool new action movie was being released and everyone is talking about it and they should see it and its called 50 shades of gray.
...
They saw it. I've never heard so much awkward silence at the dinner table, like I did that night.
Why the hell would you do that?!
That's fucked up, man.
buca117 A day later, they have fully recovered. I think they were put off more by the general shiteness of the movie, than any of its borderline inappropriate ostentatious themes.
You dodged a bullet. They could of had a heart attack. lol
TokyoKazama The laundry list of offenses committed by this movie means that you purposely shoved them through shit creek for a laugh. Whether they took issue with the pseudo-BDSM, the obvious rape and abuse, the shitty writing, the wooden acting, the ridiculous premise, or the poor casting, there was always going to be something horrible they had to endure.
Messed up, bro. Messed up.
You are a terrible child.
Well my girlfriend and I went to see Kingsman last night and we both loved it and she really doesn't want to go see Fifty Shades but she is being forced to go see it with some friends and her sister. Yeah I know, I have an amazing girlfriend which is also a great friend, taking a bullet for the rest.
you sir, are my inspiration and your girlfriend deserves the award for most badass GF ever
Nobody could force me to pay to watch that movie. Nobody could force me to even watch that movie. And I am a woman.
Marry her!!!
Only basic soccer moms want to see 50 shades of grey
You sir have found the shiny pokemon of women
I'm calling it, this is going to be on Jeremy's list of top 10 worst movies of 2015
I haven't seen it so I don't know how bad it is, and we're only like half way through the year, but yes if he hated it more than twilight I think it's pretty safe to say this will be number 1
Where have you been all my life?
Oh, in a cupboard under some stairs.
it is currently one of the highest-grossing films of 2015 with $570 million . FUCK THIS WORLD
*****
Thank god for Avengers age of ultron, and Furious 7, otherwise this stinkbomb would be moneymaker of the year.
How dare you criticise this cinematic masterpiece? Unsubscribed.
You will be missed for you were the best of us
***** some people are immune to sarcasm
Why is there a question mark in your comment? Because what you wrote wasn't a question...or was it?
LOL. The people replying to this are clearly missing the sarcasm.
At least, I hope it's sarcasm.
aburd9 its a exclimated question..."how dare you?!?!?!"
Still a better love story than Twi...oh wait.
Oh my God Fifty Shades of Grey broke the rating system! LOL
Twilight did it first
eg6gsr
Nah, all the twilight films were Dogshit, cuz they are lol. But at LEAST they were just shitty films trying to take themselves seriously with an overall Plot!. 50 Shades HAS NO PLOT! It's just a glorified porn film and it does a bad job at even being a good erotic porn film. So yeah... when a porn film isn't even a good porn film, then it's worse than dogshit and shouldn't even be in theatres
*****
I remember Twilight Breaking Dawn part I, Jeremy gave it a "Nothing" rating.
*****
What I mean is Twilight Breaking Dawn was the first movie to receive the "Nothing" rating
eg6gsr
Oh yeah! lol you guys are right.. I totally forgot about that movie ever getting that rating. It was just so shit to me I wanted to forget about seeing the film.
Watch the number of breakups and divorces skyrocket while this is out in theaters. Cause when the girlfriend/wife tries to drag their dude to see this one he's going to draw the line. For you poor unfortunate souls who will be going to see this all I can say is may the force be with you.
I know someone who's wife went to see it with her friends. That's probably the better option if they want to see that piece of shit movie.
My friend Carrie said that she wanted to see it with me, and I was like May the power of Christ compel you! She's a total tomboy, so for a minute I legit tout that she was possessed.
whosmy cherrypie I find it amusing that her name just happens to be Carrie. XD
KnightsaysNi swear the pun was not intended.
whosmy cherrypie I know, that just makes it even better! :)
lol this is worse than Twilight I thought I never hear anyone say that
Considering that it is Twilight Fan Fiction.
De Pieter It's the modern day holocaust
The shitiest movie I've ever seen was "The Room." I mean, I know some people get a kick out of watching it because of exactly how terrible it is but I just couldn't. Initially I also felt that way, but towards the end of the movie I just got depressed. I'm an aspiring writer and the movie depressed me because all I kept thinking about was how someone could make a movie this atrocious and not realise that that's what they were doing. It just plays on my worst fears. I had to literally lay down on my bed depressed for 10 minutes after watching that movie. Never once have I had that happen before or since.
I actually got to meet Johnny wassue in real life. He gave me a piece of candy and he was selling merchandise like Johnny wassue underwear and hey doggy plushiea
willie weasel Bad touch...
The room: the greatest horror movie of all time
Oh, hi Mark:)
Ahaha, what a story, OneOnOne1162. Anyway how's your sex life?
"Its shit, inspired by shit, which creates more shit" LMAOOO
I would rather watch A Good Day to Die Hard than this POS Twilight fanfiction
I would rather watch a dog shitting than this crap.
I have NO plans whatsoever to watch this movie.... EVER. In fact, as blunt as it is: I'd rather go watch a porno than watch this.... THING!
Joe Tufano watching porn is much much better than this POS and besides...this abomination has already ruined it for everyone
Joe Tufano Delon Luu Guys, would you recommend me a good and free porn page? :D
are people gonna say "Still a better love story than 50 shades of gray" from now on?
Fuck yeah!
I hate Twilight. I hate Fifty Shades. The mere mention of 'Did your girl friend drag you...' Dude really? I was dragged by this guy that I work with cause he thinks the lead girl is hot. I wanted to go to Kingsman. He thinks Fifty Shades is a good movie, I lost two hours of my life that I'll never get back. I'd rather watch the Last Airbender than that pos. Urg...and I have strongly negative feelings about that pos too.
no this wasn't exactly so bad that it's funny, but there were some ridiculous entertaining things in this movie...ATLA was just boring...
Watch Secretary. Itll make you forget 50 Shades.
I lose it every time I hear him say "where have you been all my life" "waiting for you" Hahahaha Jeremy this is one of your best reviews. I'm a chick and I'm telling you right now, this movie was fucking ridiculous and I cannot believe I let my friend drag me to the damn theater to see this disaster. Hahaha!
My condolences for the loss of your time.
Oh my god not even The Legend of Hercules was bad enough for Jeremy to give it an ENTIRE NEW RATING, that's deterrent enough
Not a new rating just one that's not used
This is probably going to be his worst movie this year. There has been only one other movie that has received the NOTHING rating.
What movie
*****
Twilight Breaking Dawn Pt. 1
oh hahaha of course
Blaaz101 Back then the nothing vortex rating was in between t-minus and dogshit. Now it means worse than dogshit.
Blaaz101 thats because jack and jill is one of the worst movies of all time and he gave it 2 dogshits
Actually... my wife hates 50 shades of Grey... and she loves video games... yeah... I love her... SO much! =3
mikeshogunlee Uuuhm... right... the truth is, you see, I don't have a wife... and I still live with my parents... and I'm virgin... I'm just delusional... see... it's all just in my head... I'm so sad.
mikeshogunlee hahaha you and lots of other guys!
Congratulations, good sir. She's a keeper. Treat her well.
Alex San Lyra
Oh...
Okay
/Puts Pitch Fork Down/
***** She is indeed. 11 years together and still going strong. XD
Jeremy Jahns, if Fifty Shades Darker is dogshit please say Fifty Dogshits Darker.
That would just be hilarious.
Mikayla Barton I would laugh at this.
Why does shit like Twilight and 50 Shades get to this point? What about it is appealing? We need scientists on this shit...
is a sex fantasy for girls
boring average girl intended to be an insert character for the female audience, meets with perfect boybriend that is out of her league, but falls in love with her because she's SPECIAL (she's not)
in part 2 introduce a second perfect boybriend who also falls in love with her and they FIGHT FOR HER LOVE AND ATENTION
The same could be said about why do Guys love Fast & Furious and Transformers when they both have crappy and laughable dialogue. It's just a harmless fantasy for Women. We guys have our mindless action with Hot Women. Let the Women have their mindless Sex fest. Not everything has to be an Oscar Movie. I don't see why so many are getting so passionate about hating Fifty Shades. If it's not for you then why give a Crap and waste so much energy on hating it? Just ignore it
Gavin48 If it makes you feel better, I hate Fast and Furious and Transformers movies too...
One thing: main girl changes something about main guy because she's "special"
50 shades gets 50 women points for being women porn.
BTW I am a woman. and seeing how this book got a movie makes me sad.
Gavin48 I'm a guy and I bloody despise Bayformers (I refuse to even call it Transformers). I'm sure there are also women who hate 50 Shades Of Grey.
Whoever says they liked this movie is lying
Or have a problem 😂
ItsMeAJ or just liked the movie :/
I liked it a lot
Or dumb as fuck.
@@mathunit1 stfu
Why is everyone assuming that all females will want to see this crap; hated Twilight as well
i haven't seen anyone say that. people have be saying that the people who do want to go see it are mostly women.
Other way around. It's not that all women like it. It's that most people who watch/read it are women.
Nobody has assumed that
Right?! -________-
Well, it was only women that read the books.
But yeah, there's plenty of women out there that actually have good tastes...
How did we get here as a society? Best line ever in response to a movie!
Shitiast movie: Dragon Ball Evolution!
You beat me to it, but I'm sure this movie is worse or it ranks up there!
Well, if we're going for anime or animated series adaptations, then..The Last Airbender movie by M.Night was *horrible*, too.
Can't decide which is worse: Dragon Ball Evolution or The Last Airbender. .
Paradox Acres in my opinion...Evolution was the worst movie, on the basis that the last air bender at least tried to be a faithful adaption, Evolution shat on the heart and soul of dragonball fans
shadygrady3000 redZ ...but they needed _five Earthbenders_ to throw a tiny, little rock.
But yeah..it's not a "contest", but when we talk about Dogshit Movies, then movies like The Last Airbender, Dragonball Evolution & the Twilight movies will be at the top of most people's list.
Paradox Acres The japan nation is Muslim and actually not Asian!! Horrible horse shit!
If I had a girlfriend and she wanted to see this film, I would just dump her on the spot. And that probably explains the exact reason I don't have a girlfriend and probably never will.
Not all woman like this crap fest, the good ones don't.
Vash theStampede Like me. I fucking hate this movie.
yup your probably right
Yea. That's the reason.
"probably explains the exact reason I don't have a girlfriend and probably never will."
Contrary to popular belief that is not a bad thing my friend. Look up *"MGTOW"* here on youtube.
"Fifty Shades of socially acceptable porn that your girlfriend is gonna insist she is allowed to watch but she made you delete your entire digital stash i know it's completely unfair THE HYPOCRISSSSY"
So much conviction when he said 'The Hypocrisy' that shit is real lol
Just noticed "50 Shades Darker" comes out 2017 :'D... You just HAVE to review that movie as well :'D
I could take a dump and that would be a better movie. At least it would have a plot.
There would be ups and downs, a climax, and a nice resolution. And you ALWAYS will create a sequel.
I think you mean a PLOP...
I can't believe my mom loves this pile of garbage. Fifty Shades Of Grey is the worst movie ever made. I should called this movie Fifty Dogshits Of Barf.
It's my goal to never see this movie, ever. Nothing against anyone who likes the 50 shades of grey book and/or movie, It's just that I haven't seen Goodfellas yet. Goodfellas!!! I also heard Kingsman, The Secret Service is fucking amazing so I need get on that first, DEFINITELY & There are quite a few classics I need to catch up on so 50 shades of grey is not for me, ever. I just don't have the time, and I won't... ever.
PS If you think Jeremy's misogynist in this review, fucking calm down and check yourself. Everything he said is legit.
*opens incognito mode*
*googles jenna haze dark side *
did the same thing😂😂😂
devilLAMIA Me too. She's hot.
Shittiest movie I've ever seen has to be the Garbage Pail Kids.
That's a real good choice, I forgot about that movie.
That movie was like rape
Omg! Thank you. I have finally found someone who has seen that atrocity and knows it's the worst movie of all time same as me! Thank you friend
lol ur username
Brad Wright Your welcome!
I haven't seen this movie and I never will. But I just want to say something to Hollywood and authors who write stories like these. "Stop making female characters so weak and useless!" Seriously, women don't need men in their lives. They choose to have men in their lives because they want to, not because they have to. Also, women can be strong, independent, and badass! Heck, I want to see Walt Disney make a movie about a fallen princess, who has become an adventurer and trained in martial arts, going on adventures and kicking the holy-living hell out of bad guys, even kill. Enough of making women the damsel-in-distress. Make them able to defend themselves and actually save the day for once.
people make movies to earn as much money as they can. If movies like 50 shades of gray are so popular (even though i believe it is shitty) then you would only see more of movies like that. Btw most guys doesn't enjoy seeing romance movies (which perpetuate damsel in distress scenarios), they watch them only with partners. So when mostly female audience stop buying books and watch movies which contain damsel in distress scenarios at that point they would stop making them.
Alison Mitchell Not current enough. Sure, a good ole movie is still good, but when there are new creators for a new generation, they tend to forget them. A reference maybe, but that's a stretch.
canegemen tuna Okay, I recognize that Hollywood has done awesome female characters in the past. I only meant that they don't do them enough today. Second, women can be strong characters by personality. It's not all about physically ability. And also, I don't believe that nature intended for men to be dominate (and I'm a guy). I believe both sides are meant to be dominate together. We shouldn't leave women out. They can do more than we realize.
You so realise the author is a woman?
And if women didn't like it the book wouldn't sell millions upon millions upon millions of copies, and the movie is doing incredibly well at the box office like really really well.
It's not men going to watch this it's the women.
dumbass
The Last Airbender.... just fucking awful
watch the nostalgia critic review of that, it explains eprfectly why it's so bad. better, what makes it so bad.
Yes, the worst movie I've ever seen too.
I have to say this was one of the most shitty movies I've ever seen! I actually felt you about the chemistry with this two! Zero to none! What a waste of time! But well, sex sells so that's why there will be 3 more movies or so! And it was kind of awkward as well when I went to the movies to watch this shitty movie because the cinema was full of women like on their 40s or so.... so awkward my God!
I love this review soooo much. Jeremy's just so fucking done with all of this shit, it's hilarious!
The Last Airbender remains the worst movie I've ever seen.
Me too I stopped watching it at 40 min, I wanted it to be good but it just wasn't. I got to boored
Jeremy's review for that is why I subscribed to him :-D
and Dookie the best
Nope. Don't buy it.
I would buy it's the worst movie you've ever seen if you've seen two movies, the first one Lord of the rings and the second one The Last Airbender, then yeah. Other than that... noope.
that is the 2nd worst movie, number 1 belongs to the live dragonball Z horse shit of a movie!!
whenever im sad or just meh or need a good laugh, i just binge watch all of jeremy's 50 shades review, sometimes a twilight binge also works
Jeremy forgot to mention that by far the worst thing about this movie is constant scenes of signing contracts and talking about rules
huh, funny and true, the whole movie revolves around her and him making this damn contract and having sex sometimes...
Jeremy i'm a little disappointed, you came off as a misogynistic. I bet if you've read the book then watched the movie you would be as pleased as I was. Besides why wouldn't you believe that she was saving herself for the right person? Sometimes things don't always work out and unforseen person like grey are the exceptions. This movie deserved an "Coup De Force" I bet if you were a women you would agree with me. Who else takes full offense to this review? I say it's downright disgusting!
kuja P R E A C H!
Are you seriouse the book is basically porn porn that can be required by the internet I don't know if your a troll or not big fucking A man this book is bad woman who read the book just to be horny are stupid
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Best troll I've seen all day 10/10
If the book itself is perceived as 'dogshit', then its only logical that an accurate screen adaptation of that book would also be 'dogshit' . Please don't go losing any sleep over this review, it's just one man's thoughts.
Despite how fact based and true they actually are.
Hahah this comment is supposed to make people I found it very funny
My girl is taking me to see Big Hero 6 or Theory of Everything.
She's a keeper.
Cool, mine took me to The Imitation Game. She's a Central Back.
This is my favorite fifty shades review ever. 😂
My sister wanted me to get this for her, I was like... fuck no.
my worst movie of all time was die hard 5 holy god, that movie was a piece of crap, and i'm talking about big crap here.
Yeah, that made me really wish they'd stopped at "Live Free or Die Hard." Mind you, that one sometimes made me wish they'd kept it a trilogy, but 5 was completely awful. I was actually BORED during a "Die Hard" movie; that ain't right.
I actually kinda enjoyed it. It might not have been that smart but it sure was better than the two hour borefest they called Live Free or Die Hard.
dcskaeur Really? Huh, different strokes for different folks I guess; 5 just felt like a painfully obvious sad attempt to recreate the original. I found myself looking for Hans Gruber.
KnightsaysNi Maybe they were tired of the franchise so they just ended it and thought "well now no one will want this to continue."
I wholeheartedly agree. Die Hard 5 is absolutely dreadful.
Fifty Shades of Gay
That's an insult to gays no matter how you view homosexuality.
Octopus Wilson Fifty shades of Stay... as in stay home and watch anything else
BEST INSULT 2018 LOLLLOLLL
50 shades of garbage lol
That makes no sense. At no point did this movie portray homosexuality. Frankly you just made yourself sound homophobic by shoehorning that in when it is completely irrelevant.
Yeah this is a shit film but at-least make your jokes make sense.
GF will not take my word for it when I say this movie is bad. She says 'Some people are into that!'
Well the people I know who are into that know that it's practically rape when you ignore the safety word.
And Twilight's shitty reason, that Edward just can't get enough of Bella's smell or w/e, was still a better reason than Bumpity Bump !
*****
Thank You. The reason for a safe word is you might say 'no' on accident or part of your roll or slight case of nerves. In this context (BDSM) it can be ignored. That's WHY a SAFE word is created. It is the stopping point. BDSM is what it is but it's still CONSENSUAL. IF the safe word is used it stops, period. That's part of the contract. Anything past that, it's NOT consensual, which makes it rape.
Laughed like hail at the digital porn stash deletion. Bagpipes shall be played in honor of Jeremy's former stash.