The most selfish people I’ve met have been those with siblings because they were forced to share and do things. I’ve never withheld sharing experiences or food. It’s not number of siblings, it’s parental guidance
Agreed. Most things are. Of course there will be some chaos with the gremlins bouncing off each other's energies, but if the parent fails to help guide them through that, then how they turn out will basically be up to a dice throw
Exactly, I'm an only child, too, I love to share (it's my love language, mostly with food) but most of my friends with one to two siblings do not want to share at all, except if someone else is offering to share their own stuff. On the other hand, another friend of mine (the oldest of 6 siblings) is just like me and likes being able to share.
Almost always an only child being spoiled or entitled in my experience, the only children tend to want some of yours and you can't have some of theirs ever is the difference ig in my experience between just not sharing and being a bit entitled
Yes, the only children don't share trope has been so prevalent for a long time, most parents of only children will go out of their way to teach their kid to share and be generous. In my experience single children will show a lot more of this than kids with siblings where even in the best of cases, sometimes there's an expectation the other person will take care of themselves, say they want something and that its ok to not focus so much on others. Only children experience with other kids is as a guest mostly so they are taught to pay attention and be "nicer". On the other hand one thing I noticed in every only child, at least while they young, is the communication is way lower. Basic everyday stuff where us with siblings automatically communicate or coordinate, only children just don't think of. Like if plans change our first instinct is to let everyone know and coordinate plans around getting ready, what needs to be done etc. Only children never really needed to, so they will usually sort their own stuff out first and then let everyone else know. They can often just be legit confused or irritated you're randomly asking them when they plan on starting to get ready for the event 😂 They have to take time to live with other people to learn.
My mum was an olny child and she has abandonment issues. She is a people pleaser so noone would leave her. My dad has 5 siblings (+stepsiblings) he was was the olny one raised by his grand-parents. Lets say he's complicated.
I can see that, but they also get more attention than most, however it’s in a different way. I had 2 friends who were an only child. They always got the latest toys. Xbox, gaming chairs, more expensive gifts, better vacations, etc. The only way a child with siblings could have similar experiences is if they worked like my other buddy Tyler who had 6 siblings. He realized at an early age that he needed to work to get the latest PC, better shoes, bigger meals, etc. Tyler was a fat boy, so he ate a lot. Which encouraged him to work because he wanted the good food. He would always be the man with the money. Come to think about it I never saw an only child working at a young age.
Exactly! I have a friend who has a sister but she acts just like an only child because she was also left on her own. That family never did anythibg together
As an only child: I was the one who brought snacks for everyone and made sure the quiet people got their turn playing games. I didn’t do that because I was an only child, I did it because I had an actual mother who raised me right.
Me too! Ppl are shocked when I tell them I’m an only child bc of those traits. Apparently I give off having sibling vibes bc I’m not stereotypically selfish and spoiled 🙄
same! the only reason ive iffy since childhood about sharing my food/drink is because i don't wanna give someone coldsores, otherwise i've always been more interested in participating in what others do because i prefer doing things as a group
The most generous and vivacious of my friends are those either without siblings or ones with siblings who were adults in their childhood. The most gregarious, socially ept and loyal friend is an only child, she is the ultimate social butterfly and has never been lonely in her life because she creates deep friendships that are like family ❤
Me too! I'm an only child, and homeschooled, everyone is show incredibly shocked when I'm smarter than their public schooled 1 of 43 butt nuggets..... Apparently I can't be smart, socialized, or nice because I'm an only child and homeschooled🤷
Me too. My husband grew up with a brother and cousins nearby. Z Yet I am the most accommodative one. And he grumbles when he has to elect brinjal curry not made his way😂
A big difference I see, at least with the stereotypes of only children, is that they have no trouble setting boundaries. Those who grow up with siblings are typically expected to share with each other, even if it isn’t always practical. I feel that a lot of parents of multiple children neglect to teach their kids to set and respect boundaries.
Nah. It's one thing to have boundaries another thing is being arrogant and rude. Only child kids can be caring and people with siblings can have those negative traits. It actually depends on family upbringing.
@@Souchi-itoyes exactly. More recent studies find that it depends on financial situation as well as how involved your parents are in your upbringing. If you had parents who could afford to provide for you and your siblings equally without discrimination and who could provide care and love for their kids, typically they’re better than any poor only child or poor kid with siblings. Makes perfect sense to me tbh. I know one person who had rich loving parents who also has siblings, and him and his siblings all had everything I never had as a child with whatever opportunity they wanted, but beyond that their parents were involved with each one of them, so they’re all very kind people. They’re absolutely an outlier, but basically prove all of these studies looking only at sibling situations wrong.
Yeah, as the eldest of five, I had a really hard time learning how boundaries worked. I'm only now really starting to understand how to not only make my own boundaries but respect other's too. My parents never taught us those, always expected us to share. Always expected us to just *deal* with whatever was happening around us. I watched my parents constantly disrespect each other up until I was about 13-14. You dont need to be an only child to have issues. The grass is definitely not greener over here.
@@Souchi-itoyeah buy statistically, people with siblings don’t truly know how to respect boundaries. my older sister still doesn’t understand boundaries (tbf she has massive only child syndrome)
My mother got cancer, so they had to remove her uterus, so she got only me. Never had a problem adapting, sharing, etc. The thing I was always jaleous of is friends who had siblings. My parents died years ago, and so missed the birth of my sons, etc. I have my sons, and husband, but nobody is alive anymore, so nobody to fall back on as in family
Do not feel bad sometimes having only you kids and husband not so bad I had a abusive monster for a husband toxic familly the I run away from in Mexico move here at 16 I never return and because of them and my ex I trust Noone only my kids all I got
@@Vg41136 I am sorry you got to go through all that! At least you got your kids indeed. Are you oké now? It made me more independent being without family to go to with support or anything, I hope you have the same. But I do confess that sometimes I miss that support/backup
I kinda hate the negativity around only children. Like, they can't help that they didn't grow up with siblings. I'm really only referring to the stereotypes, tho.
That's not the point. They're not blaming you for being an only child, they're just articulating common behaviors that only children have. Not all of them are negative, but not all of them are positive either.
You interpreted this study wrong. It's not about negativity, it's about facts and what we can do to improve the situation. Ignoring the study helps nobody.
I am a younger brother(i have 3 older sisters and 1 older brother) and i have a twin brother also. So i never experienced being an only child, i am also a misfit because i am schizophrenic(mentally Ill)
@eb1634 schizophrenia isn't always genetic, and neither are some disabilities. Even if they were, there's many disabled parents who still care for their kids and are great at being parents. Go be a weirdo somewhere else, like offline.
I always hated the "Actually I'm an only child "Oh, I'm so sorry" 💀 Only children are always portrayed as the happiest most spoiled, or sadest and most lonely kids in media. Always treated as a phonomenon rather than the same as other people
Yeah, I think it's mostly from people who didn't really have the internet growing up, but now that only children do we have people to talk to. But either way we have people at school or work too, it's only child not only person lol
yes my sisters and i get to share cute wardrobes but there are some things she’s super territorial over if she thinks they’re super cute and wants to gatekeep it lol but w my other sister she’s super kind and we both enjoy letting each other be cute in our clothes lol
I really liked sharing. I didn't share everything with my siblings but there are certain thing that we would always share. And it continues even now when I'm on my own, for example I don't really enjoy eating snack if I can't share them with anyone.
I'm an only child. The only reasons i don't share is because people either kept destroying my stuff, which utterly destroyed my trust in other's intentions, or they took me offering them food as me giving them all of it. I got stepsiblings in my late teens and it took me a good two years until i trusted even the middle one (~5 years younger than me) to use my stuff, and only in my presence.
If anything being an only child has made me crave friendship and be much more generous than i think other people i know with siblings are. I've always loved having my friends over and sharing things that i like with them and vice versa. I've never had a problem with letting people use my things or sharing food etc.
FINALLY! There is so much negativity and criticism around being an only child or having an only child. I can't tell you how many people would tell me growing up that they felt sorry for me or assumed I must have bad traits, like calling me spoiled, despite not even knowing me. No, I am not/was never lonely. I entertain myself very easily and, while I love my alone time, my parents actually had time for me. I actually really thrived being an only child, especially due to my learning disabilities. I didn't have to compete for attention and received the care I required to succeed. And some people really just can't wrap their heads around that. 🙄
So many things affect a child's development. Being an only child has positives all well as negatives and the impact depends on how cognizant the parents are of its impact. My daughter is an only child and I was incredibly aware of its impact because I was an only child - and my mother was not. So I took great care to ensure that my daughter learnt to share because my mother did not teach me so well - I learnt about sharing because a kid at school made an a remark about me nor being good at sharing as I scoffed down a packet of crisps without offering them around. It literally never crossed my mind. I appreciated the lesson amd made an especial effort from that moment on to look out for gaps in my development as a human being, it taught me profound self awareness. Which I passed on to my daughter. She shares and compromises better than virtually any other child her age. So, many things affect a child development, including a throw away friendly comment from a school friend.
Okay, but to a degree society’s expectations surrounding sharing can be toxic. My mom used to get calls from the school saying I wouldn’t share, but the things they wanted me to share weren’t classroom toys, they were my own personal belongings that I knew I’d play gently with, but to a degree I knew the other kids wouldn’t. I didn’t want my stuff wrecked (this was usually like show and tell days or something) It was really annoying because I was really good about sharing, making sure if I had the swing for a while and another kid didn’t have a turn I’d give a turn, etc. but if something is your property, you are under no obligation to share. If those crisps were yours in your lunch, for example, expecting you to give up your food to satisfy everyone is not sharing, but it’s just fancy stealing.
And that’s how it should be! My parents only had me since they could only afford one kid, but were aware of the typical problems only children have and raised me without those problems. A lot of people are shocked to find out I’m an only child, but it’s because my parents raised me to have values siblings are usually thought to install in people (they don’t) and forced me to work for a lot of what I have. Sucked as a kid because my friends with siblings typically had parents less on their ass, but definitely made me a more well adjusted adult so I have to be thankful in hindsight lol.
As an only child myself and the only neice to a childless aunt that grew up in the 90s my family wasnt rich at all but I was all they had to get things for so I used to get so many gifts at Christmas Id get tired of opening them. Instead of making me spoiled it actually made me not greedy at all because I always had abundance. Its been my observation that people who grew up with siblings and had scarcity are far more protective or their stuff because they grew up with competition.
Yeah, growing up I had felt no need to be greedy over my stuff. The only thing that stopped me letting cousins borrow toys is that they always come back wrecked or they never come back (and I'd find them wrecked when I visit - somehow my mom always manage to convince me to let them take stuff home with them). This somehow stuck with me into adulthood, that I cannot trust people with stuff coz they're never responsible enough when using other people's things. I mean, look at how government spend tax money, amirite?! 🤣
@claire… I’m a childless aunt that adores my niece. I’m so curious what your relationship is like with your aunt? Are you close? To you feel close to her like you could tell her anything?
@@cleopatrajones7096 Oh yes I'm very close. I always have been. She's my father's sister and was always involved in my life and he was an absent alcoholic. She's actually the only one left now and she's 76 and going blind. I speak to her every day, just took her on vacation with my son and I, and will be her primary caregiver till her last day unless somehow I die first.
@@ClaireGreen-wd2gm Thanks for the reply. This got me kinda emotional. I’m so happy you have this relationship. I’ve been with my niece from day 1 and was going to write a book of all the interactions I’ve had with from now until she’s an adult. She’s about 2 now. Also I am her father’s sister. My brother isn’t an alcoholic and I’m so sorry yours was. That must have been a difficult upbringing. My niece is in a home of parents that argue a lot so I’d for her to count on me to be there. I so very much appreciate your reply and the fondness you two have for one another ❤️🙏🏽
I do believe some kids do develop in a way similar to what that old phycologist was thinking, but not all, and i feel those same negitive traits can be found in youngest siblings, and golden children (one that is the parents favorite to the detriment of the other kids). I don't blame those kids for growing as they do since much of it would be down to nurture and not something that is so simply explained as being an only child.
I grew up with multiple siblings and I actually hate sharing. or rather being expected to share everything. the feeling of not having anything to call "your own" is honestly suffocating.
As an Only, I find one of two things happen. Parents shelter the kid (much easier since one child to focus on) and the kid may have little understanding of the world and not a lot of independence. Or the opposite, the parents tell the child everything and involve them in the stressful parts. Where you might lie because there’s younger siblings, if it’s an only child, parents will sometimes include them in adult things due to connivence. I knew since I was 10 the almost exact financial situation my parents were in, down to the bills. It was terrible, but it also has allowed me to understand money and finances better myself.
Fellow only child & I'm very aware of this while raising my only child. It's a line that can be very easily crossed (either way) if you don't pay attention to what you're doing, how they're reacting & what they do when they think you're not looking
I was an only child so all of their hatred, disappointment and abuse wasn’t dispersed. The pressure to be perfect because you are the only one and the subsequent hurt after failing sucked.
As an only child this is just a stereotype. In fact I have problems oversharing. Also I think most only children will talk about the fact that they have always wanted a sibling someone to play with and hang out and share with. I honestly think people with with siblings are the ones that are like this because they grew up always having to share and constantly having to do what there siblings want.
As a child with siblings and also friends who are only children, this is a stereotype because it's so common. The same kind of behaviour is also commonly attributed to youngest siblings because it's so common in western society for parents to become less strict and more generous with each subsequent child, as they also become more financially affluent with age, leaving older siblings with a memory of scarcity and responsibility for their burden on the family as a whole and younger ones with a sense of entitlement that of course all good things should come to them first and everyone else should be the ones to compromise. It's not true for every single case, but it's the fact that it's a frequent issue is what makes people so willing to accept it as true across all boundaries of social strata, financial stability, and cultures within western society. It's not rich only children or poor only children or only children of a specific race. It's "only children" as compared to "children with siblings" across the board, amongst a lifetime of experiences with different kinds of people. Unlike with race, there's significant social overlap of people with and without siblings to judge this by. And this is not primarily being spread as an attack against any one group, but an acknowledgement, from people both within and out of the group in question, that a pattern of behaviour is more likely under certain circumstances. The same people who talk about only children are also saying the ways in which growing up with siblings can cause poor behaviour later in life. Fighting over food and such, are common tropes for people with siblings. If it's not describing your behaviour, congrats on being in a statistical minority. You win the prize, you can go home now. But there's a few million sibling-free people who would joyfully tell you "Lmao that's me all right! My way or the highway! 😂"
I think it's also sometimes that some parents think that when you have siblings you have to share everything. I was lucky to have parents who told us we could have boundaries with each other and have our own things and decide if we wanted to share those specific things but there was also stuff that was to be shared and we had to talk about whose turn it was. I think it's healthy to tell children that they can say no if they have things they want to keep, it also teach other children to deal with frustration and that you're not always to get everything you ask for even if you ask nicely and that's okay!
@@pvp6077but they’re not a statistical minority? These studies are pretty outdated with questionable methods. More recent studies reveal that willingness to share tends to go with parental upbringing as opposed to siblings. Maybe I’m out of line as someone with a degree in statistics, but these studies only observing sibling relationships tend to reveal no statistically significant results on anything lol.
I’m an only child brought up by a single mother, we were surrounded by people in the same situation so I grew up surrounded by lots of kids. We were poor too, so I definitely learned a lot about kindness & sharing.
@@sheepketchup9059this is not people pleasing lol, simple compromising. Bowling vs movie is not that important of a decision when your priority is some quality time with people you care about
Or like, compromise like “hey, how about we go bowling, get dinner, and then go see a movie, then we get to do both” Or “okay, we’ll see a movie this time, but I get to pick the activity next time.” I’m an only child, but I had fairness, equality, and compromise drilled into me so much as a child I can’t stand when those things are disregarded. No friend should be the sole dictator of plans. If there’s more than two, votes are good, otherwise, try to work in both, make a case for yours, or take turns picking.
I appreciate me siblings so much more as an adult that I did as a kid. Just being able to have someone that close to you who can deal with your parents bs together or just relate so much with since you grew up together is so special. It would seem so lonely if you were an only child of only child parents. Not only do you get no siblings you have no aunts, uncles or cousins. When you’re parents die you’re the only one left
As someone with 4 younger siblings who was just out of first grade when my youngest sibling was born, enjoy the time you have wirh your parents if they're worthwhile people
What? My brutha. Being an only child taught me how to rely on myself, enjoy my own company, not be seeking romantic relationships 24/7, and to entertain myself when I’m board- now I have lots of hobbies, so that’s fun.
I’ve known only children that were monsters and only children that were just like anyone else (I’m the oldest of two, myself). It always depends on how the parents raised them. Any child could grow up to be a terrible person if their parents didn’t try. I feel like maybe it’s easier to let an only child become very selfish, but it’s not automatic. There’s plenty of ways to prevent it, like with any child.
Social skills are what I excel at, far better than my friends and cousins who all have siblings Signed, the only child social sacrifice who always orders for the table
Only the already well-adjusted ones though 😂😂😂 Dysfunctional family like 99% of America? Congrats on having no social skills and being just as dumb as all your peers 😃👍🏾
I teach preschool, and have taught only, middle, youngest, oldest, you name it. I've taught siblings from the same families, too. Some of the only children are extremely aware of the other kids' feelings, and some are extremely selfish, just like the students with siblings. I will say, some only children are kind of in their own world and need a lot of help figuring out how to interact with other kids. Almost all of it comes down to parenting, and making sure your only child is able to interact with other kids (with your guidance and support) from a young age.
I never understood the concept of fighting over food and being super selfish UNTIL i met people with siblings. I usually cook food for myself and my mom and i cook enough for leftovers. I like to cook and than sit down a rest for a couple of minutes. I remember cooking for an ex and him and his siblings scarfed all the food like pigs and when i got up to serve myself there was nothing left. No one saved me anything. I grabbed my jacket got in my car and drove off and blocked him. Never spoke to him again. Ive met plenty of people with siblings that act like that too. This is why i always serve myself first and look out for my well being because the competition for resources between siblings is downright vindictive. From food to even spouses!
As an only kid I used to be ok with sharing my stuff. But my classmates (especially the boys) always take advantage of this. Ive seen so many girl's stationary and books get lost or broken when they get returned. For some reason many boys think that its their god given right to just take their stuff without asking or if you refuse then they get upset. Which is why i have completely stopped giving anyone my stuff unless theyre close friends But that was taken advantage of as well as my best friend would always take my things to the point where ive completely stopped sharing.
All old studies like this need to be reevaluated lol. More recent studies show it’s typically dependent on how your parents raised you/if they were involved as parents. A secondary large factor is also financial status.
Im an only son (now adult) but i was always taught about sharing, being selfless and bearing the consequences to my acts. I think ppl look up anything to justify why someone is awfull. Each individual is unique and has a mind of its own, and (im not saying it doesnt influence) is a complete diferent human being regardless of education.
My cousin has fertility problems and has only one child, and in my community 8 children is average.... She makes sure her kid hangs out a lot with neighbor kids as well as his cousins. I must say he is a very well rounded child!!
im an only child, i NEVER clicked with my peers EVER. my entire tenure in school was spent alone (or ridiculed). i didnt have issues around adults though, but i was genuinely unable to understand finding any enjoyment the way my peers played with each other
My father is an only child and my mother is the youngest child of four, both came from very unstable and unhealthy households. Safe to say they aren’t good people or parents and they barely know how to function. In fact i spent the majority of my childhood, parenting and taking care of them. (Of course there is more context to this than the fact that they are an only child and youngest child, but i think it definitely did affect them.)
I feel like for some of us it can go the other way around at times too. Like when i was little, I was always giving away "too much" of the stuff i didnt want anymore to friends, doing whatever i thought would make them happy, struggling to get them to stop going through my things, etc. As a teenager, I convinced my parents to let my homeless friends from school live with us. Most ended badly, but some ended up becoming much closer with my parents and I (one of them is still referred to as my dad's "other kid" to this day, and we r 25-26 years old.) I kinda outgrew those habits because of abuse/bullying and trust issues, but none of the abuse/bullying was from family, and most of it wasn't from friends either. I love being an only child, but i hated it when i was a little kid. Also im not saying that im "too nice" or anything, because i acknowledge that convincing my parents to put up with other high school kids wasn't always "nice" for them 100% of the time, and I admit that I rely on family too much. I also have less friends now, but thats my choice (quality over quantity, less to keep up with, etc., plus im autistic & not as trusting as i used to be)
My younger sister is like this and she's in the middle of six. It's not always qhether one has siblings or not, and more was the kid coddled and never taught manners.
i was an only child but my parents were boomers who didn’t treat me like a kid at all so i ended up weird in other ways lol. but not a selfish douche at least.
I grew up with sibling and cousins under the same roof and I *HATE* sharing. Not only I would have to share with the little ones but also with the adults, leaving me with only a bite or two of whatever snack/food I had. Nothing was safe. I had a drink? They'd just take it from me and pass it around the whole family. A small sized snack , obviously made for one person? That was taken to the kitchen and cut up so everyone tasted it. Food bought with money that was not from my folks and that I went and got from the store by myself? Had to share, no such thing as eating alone. Ate something out in town, completely away from my folks? Can't mention it at home, or else I'd get an earful for "secret eating". To this day, I hide snacks, I can’t eat at the same table as my folks, I hate family meals and I get cat-like food aggression if someone tries to reach for my food before I got to eat at least 50% of it. I'm just so damn tired of having food snatched from my plate, from my hands, or paying full price for something I only get one bite out of.
Either your family had no money or was controlling over food. I figured it was the former until they would get mad at you for eating out and 'secret eating'. Yeah they made a horrible decision with that, I'm sorry.
I am an only child who is now a mother of an only child. From my experience hearing friends lives, I find it comforting that myself and my son get attention that is not divided that’s the biggest thing.
Ok, but what about the kid who could lift up a piano? What happened to him/ her?!? :0 Are you telling me they had the potential first member of an X-men style group of kids and passed it over? No school for gifted children? Lol /jk but only somewhat
That caught my attention too, a child can lift a whole piano and this guy focuses on the effects of being an only child? What other kids in the study had super powers??
I've a friend who is an only child, its made them difficult to deal with at times because they lack certain socialisation and their inability to put themselves in other people shoes makes them come across as extremely selfish. I still love them to bits but its easier to love them from afar since you need a lot of patience. On the flip side, despite being a youngest child, I feel like in actuality, its usually the youngests child grow into the more selfish people.
Used to have an ex coworker who was very much an only child. It was either her way or the highway. She was very annoying to work with, not to mention lowkey racist. Thank goodness I left there when I did.
I'm the eldest of five. Having more siblings doesn't make you a better person. More often than not, the eldest kids in families like mine are parentified. Made to be essentially built in babysitters. I can promise you that a lot of my bitchy behaviors come from the entitlement that comes with that role. I felt like I deserved more because I did so much. And a lot of the time I was straight up ignored in favor of my younger brothers. I was 16 by the time I got my first xbox despite my brothers having been getting new ones since they were 11 and up. I know how that might sound but I was a kid soooooo-
My parents fought hard against it whenever I acted spoiled. I had to apologize and return/give away things several times during my childhood. I think I was used to getting my way simply because I usually did, not in a spoiled way but more like, I always got things for christmas only for myself, all my parents' attention (when they were free to give it) was naturally on me because there wasn't anyone else around. Anyway especially my dad was extremely strict with me treating others with respect.
I'm an only child and an extrovert with a dysfunctional family. I severely and desperately crave to have siblings, to have someone to talk to... (I currently live with my grandma)
Ive met adult only children who couldn't brush their own hair so honestly it comes down to gow normal their parents can be about taking care of and socializing them A lot of only children fall victim to being at either end of the extremes of being severely neglected or wildly coddled
Can you do a video on the studies around birth order? Like first borns are more studious, second borns more social, third or youngest are most likely to struggle with adiction or have a criminal record...
Only child I was brought up to share everything and taught I couldn’t always get my own way. My child is also a only child also brought up with these values.
My boyfriend says that when we get married, we can only afford to have one child. I've always hated the idea of having a child grow up without siblings, so I hope I can convince him in the future to want at least one more!
Me and my best friends are all older siblings. We all compromise and have a hard time making decisions. Like none of us want to pick and we ask the others what they want instead
Defo stereotypes haha as an only child I would always share my stuff with friends no problem or question. Can’t say the same when they have things tho. Seems being forced to share everything makes them ‘more’ selfish as adults. Broke friends tend to be more generous and the ones with money tend to be extremely tight and never help each other. Idk, just my two pennies. Found a lot of people broke trust with items of the years too but I always try to see the good in people and trust too easily lol
I think only children have the best traits of being an eldest child but the worst part of being the youngest child. They're given more responsibility as children which causes them to be more successful statistically but they can also be more coddled than average child
~❤~ my grandson was an only child for 10 yrs then bam he's a big brother to twins.. At first he use to do bad things for attention but fast forward 2 years he's back to being himself again..Oneday is his day with his mom and the 2nd is the twins day..Sometimes they do things together like go to the zoo or animal shelter..Once a year is big vacation time only 12 year gets to go because he's a big boy..Twins stay home..We've been on some really nice vacations over the last several years..Alaska, Tennessee, Pennsylvania, New Mexico, California, Utah, Hawaii ..this year we're going to Texas..😅😅😅 All 3 kids are spoiled in their own way..
tbh it's how they're raised. one of my cousins is an only child whose really not a good person and she can be really selfish sometimes but my neighbor is an only child and is a very kind, and funny guy just like his parents.
I've known several only children who really fit the stereotype of being selfish and spoilt. They never liked anyone else getting attention because they were so used to being the focus all the time. I noticed this with all of these only children and it's made me wary of them. Apologies to any only children who don't agree. But I've been around long enough to know way too many only children adults who were toxic people.
I was an only child for almost a decade before getting siblings, so I feel a little bit of both. But I feel like ome thing people forget about having siblings is that parents often will assume they will spend time with each other and therefore don't prioritize spending time with the kids themselves. Not every family obviously but easily overlooked.
I am an only child, but i have the opposite problem. I tend to people please and won't ask for what I want. Though now I have a husband who is determined to give me what I really want and has made me less of a people pleaser.
As the second borne of a family of seven this is great fuel to throw at the first borne in my family. Not only does this person act like the Ruler but still retains the Only Child Syndrome.
As an only child me and my cousin was left alone alot and my grandmother did put alot of effort into my mental development from a young age so i think i turned out fine ig
I am technically not an only child my sister is 9 years older than me but I am my dad’s only child. Let me tell ya it took me 30 years to realize I didn’t get everything I wanted. I was a selfish entitled asshole. I still struggle with sharing stuff to this day and I’m 36. I’m thankful I was able to see it for myself when I got clean so now I try to be better.
Being an only child in a neglectful household will effect the child like a disease. But any child, Even siblings are effected in neglectful or abusive homes. But sometimes having a sibling can help bc you have a peer with you. Only children develop on their own. Unfortunately sometimes parents favor one child over the other and create rifts between them. A child's development is based on their environment and their parents rearing.
I would probably not be alive anymore without my sister, because of the childhood abuse a live through and the resulting mental health issues and in the worst times I was only able to cope with them without my sister. But I know that it depends on the people, so that siblings in sertain situations can be harmful.
People who grew up as the only child also don't know how to share a lot of the time 😅. Often a little unconsciously selfish wanting things to go their way, or the highway. Not all though. Some are very giving, outgoing and love to have people around them! Always these polar opposites
If an only child is raised right and has the proper socialization then they don’t end up “spoiled”. As for the “weirdness” like that girl who pretended to be a teacher, I think only children just learn to entertain themselves and be alone for long periods of time, and that’s a great thing!
I feel so sorry for only children it must be awfully lonely - especially in this modern, urban lifestyle where people are alienated from each other. Must be difficult for the parents too
I love being an only. I was very needy (neurodivergent) and having siblings would have just fucked up my home life and little piece of stability I had. I had friends to be friends with lmao My parents are also happy because they can give me anything and don't have to divide things up or constantly worry about being "fair" to everyone
Why? I was never bored or lonely during the lockdowns. Meanwhile, most people were bitching within a week about loneliness and boredom. Also, onlies are incredibly ambitious, especially when we have no else to rely on.
I only have one child and make sure he shares and compromises. Now is just second nature to him. Nothing to do with being the only child everything to do with having half as* parents
It's a very poor hypothesis that overlooked crucial elements like: social status of the family (rich, privileged, poor), the personal history of parents (infertility, infant deaths, their newborn battling an illness) and their character (egomaniac, entitled, fear of abandonment, controlling). Children imitate the values of their parents and family. It's very unlikely that a kid who saw their parents genuinely helping and sharing goods with others, will have zero inclinations to show their love like this. OCS is a very specific problem amongst rich, privileged people who raise their kids to look down on people, feel entitled and to be possessive of their possessions despite having a lot since money is their strongest suit. What can you expect from people who were breed to believe they're better? That they gonna share with peasants? Also people who grew up in legacy families are taught entitlement and raised to have a superiority complex. For such people compromise or expressing love through the gesture of sharing is ridiculous. Some parents had been trying for children for a very long time before it happened or experienced their newborn being seriously sick. The moment the child was born or got healthy, they believed a miracle happen. Despite happiness and relief, the trauma was still there, making them spoil the kid to an extremely unhealthy degree. They felt guilty and ungrateful anytime they tried to discipline the child. There is a branch of overprotective parents who desperately fight for their children's approval and friendship at every cost, raising them to be entitled. They don't want them to be independent and mature, so they emotionally stunt them to he forever bounded, "he's never gonna find a better woman than me", "she's my little princess, I'll control her love life and treat her like property, expecting her boyfriends to value my opinion more than hers. All under disguise of protection". Child for them is like an emotional support pet, not a separate human being. They like to he needed and what regular parents dream of for their children, is their biggest nightmare. Often people with siblings born to bad parents grow up to be very dedicated with a tendency to self-sacrifice because they were the one who took the responsibility upon themselves to look after their siblings. They had to share, to care and to compromise because they wanted to give some warmth and happiness to their siblings, growing up to be adults who never put themselves first. It's not a case of siblings or not. We all know many people who have OCS despite their siblings. It's all about parental dynamics and how do adults in the children's life interact with each other. Watching teachers backstabbing each others, parents badmouthing neighbors and grandparents constantly having problem with fulfilling basic needs of their guests like serving tea, whereas being taught how special and unique they are despite doing literally nothing and putting no effort, creates egomaniac who can't share. Yes.
I am an only child and i am the least spoiled brat kind possible. I grew up to be a people pleaser just to get some crumbles of connection bwcause i spent my whole childhood in solitude. But I consider myself smart and my imagination is wild... ❤
I remember when a classmate talked gossip about a friend of mine and said that she is that ignorant and selfish because she is an only child as if that was an excuse and i told her i am an only child too, you can be an only child and not be a prick
had a friend at school who was an only child she hated it cried and said it was lonely and she had great parents got everything she wanted but she always wanted siblings that's why she called her cousins and friends her siblings she always said anyone who has siblings should be happy because they are lucky they don't have to grow up alone and i am thankful for having siblings we actually didn't have to share anything but we chose to sure sometimes we were selfish but we knew how to share like we'd watch Saturday morning cartoons together we would trade toys we'd watch movies or play games together we played outside together but our parents did make us by each other Christmas and birthday gifts for each other we all went on family trips together had to save up allowence i remember one time my dad borrowed 100 bucks from me and said he'd pay me back never did 😢 but i didn't say anything because they're my parents and it really didn't matter so we never grew up selfish thankfully
I was an only child growing up and if you're not okay with sharing or working together in a group then your parents failed you. My friend's sister in law is also an only child but she's the most selfish and non considerate person I know and you can just tell she was raised like a little princess. I was still taught to share and when I was a little kid Id throw hissy fits about it I got over it and now as an adult I ain't like that first video lol but my friends SIL is
The most selfish and inflexible people I’ve ever met are only children. Some of them are nice and can do cool things, though, when their parents put so much positive attention into them. I couldn’t justify having only one, though, because most of them aren’t as caring and empathetic despite having more resources growing up.
Anybody get the old "I'll bet you're spoiled!" when you mentioned being an only child? That was the most irritating thing for me. I knew people from large families who got way more than I did. I didn't get new clothes very often as I usually got hand me downs from older cousins. I still have no interest in fashion and wear clothes until they're almost rags.
I’m an only child who grew up with a sibling dynamic with my uncle (8 year age difference) so I both do and do not fit in with the only child things 🤷🏼♀️
The most selfish people I’ve met have been those with siblings because they were forced to share and do things. I’ve never withheld sharing experiences or food. It’s not number of siblings, it’s parental guidance
Agreed. Most things are. Of course there will be some chaos with the gremlins bouncing off each other's energies, but if the parent fails to help guide them through that, then how they turn out will basically be up to a dice throw
Exactly, I'm an only child, too, I love to share (it's my love language, mostly with food) but most of my friends with one to two siblings do not want to share at all, except if someone else is offering to share their own stuff. On the other hand, another friend of mine (the oldest of 6 siblings) is just like me and likes being able to share.
Almost always an only child being spoiled or entitled in my experience, the only children tend to want some of yours and you can't have some of theirs ever is the difference ig in my experience between just not sharing and being a bit entitled
Yes, the only children don't share trope has been so prevalent for a long time, most parents of only children will go out of their way to teach their kid to share and be generous. In my experience single children will show a lot more of this than kids with siblings where even in the best of cases, sometimes there's an expectation the other person will take care of themselves, say they want something and that its ok to not focus so much on others. Only children experience with other kids is as a guest mostly so they are taught to pay attention and be "nicer".
On the other hand one thing I noticed in every only child, at least while they young, is the communication is way lower. Basic everyday stuff where us with siblings automatically communicate or coordinate, only children just don't think of. Like if plans change our first instinct is to let everyone know and coordinate plans around getting ready, what needs to be done etc. Only children never really needed to, so they will usually sort their own stuff out first and then let everyone else know. They can often just be legit confused or irritated you're randomly asking them when they plan on starting to get ready for the event 😂 They have to take time to live with other people to learn.
My mum was an olny child and she has abandonment issues. She is a people pleaser so noone would leave her.
My dad has 5 siblings (+stepsiblings) he was was the olny one raised by his grand-parents. Lets say he's complicated.
The reason a lot turn out like that first video is neglect.
Interesting
I can see that, but they also get more attention than most, however it’s in a different way.
I had 2 friends who were an only child. They always got the latest toys. Xbox, gaming chairs, more expensive gifts, better vacations, etc. The only way a child with siblings could have similar experiences is if they worked like my other buddy Tyler who had 6 siblings. He realized at an early age that he needed to work to get the latest PC, better shoes, bigger meals, etc. Tyler was a fat boy, so he ate a lot. Which encouraged him to work because he wanted the good food. He would always be the man with the money.
Come to think about it I never saw an only child working at a young age.
@@dalton6108 neglect is often psychological. Kids have cognitive requirements that most parents can’t meet.
@@MowMowProductions precisely!
Exactly! I have a friend who has a sister but she acts just like an only child because she was also left on her own. That family never did anythibg together
As an only child: I was the one who brought snacks for everyone and made sure the quiet people got their turn playing games. I didn’t do that because I was an only child, I did it because I had an actual mother who raised me right.
Me too! Ppl are shocked when I tell them I’m an only child bc of those traits. Apparently I give off having sibling vibes bc I’m not stereotypically selfish and spoiled 🙄
same! the only reason ive iffy since childhood about sharing my food/drink is because i don't wanna give someone coldsores, otherwise i've always been more interested in participating in what others do because i prefer doing things as a group
The most generous and vivacious of my friends are those either without siblings or ones with siblings who were adults in their childhood. The most gregarious, socially ept and loyal friend is an only child, she is the ultimate social butterfly and has never been lonely in her life because she creates deep friendships that are like family ❤
Me too! I'm an only child, and homeschooled, everyone is show incredibly shocked when I'm smarter than their public schooled 1 of 43 butt nuggets.....
Apparently I can't be smart, socialized, or nice because I'm an only child and homeschooled🤷
Me too.
My husband grew up with a brother and cousins nearby. Z
Yet I am the most accommodative one. And he grumbles when he has to elect brinjal curry not made his way😂
Being an only child I just want to say that it is based on how your parents has raised you👍
Have* guess they didn’t teach you that
@@kadenlogan6589 I guess your parents never taught you that not everyone speaks English as their first language lol.
A big difference I see, at least with the stereotypes of only children, is that they have no trouble setting boundaries. Those who grow up with siblings are typically expected to share with each other, even if it isn’t always practical. I feel that a lot of parents of multiple children neglect to teach their kids to set and respect boundaries.
Nah. It's one thing to have boundaries another thing is being arrogant and rude. Only child kids can be caring and people with siblings can have those negative traits. It actually depends on family upbringing.
@@Souchi-itoyes exactly. More recent studies find that it depends on financial situation as well as how involved your parents are in your upbringing. If you had parents who could afford to provide for you and your siblings equally without discrimination and who could provide care and love for their kids, typically they’re better than any poor only child or poor kid with siblings. Makes perfect sense to me tbh. I know one person who had rich loving parents who also has siblings, and him and his siblings all had everything I never had as a child with whatever opportunity they wanted, but beyond that their parents were involved with each one of them, so they’re all very kind people. They’re absolutely an outlier, but basically prove all of these studies looking only at sibling situations wrong.
Yeah, as the eldest of five, I had a really hard time learning how boundaries worked. I'm only now really starting to understand how to not only make my own boundaries but respect other's too. My parents never taught us those, always expected us to share. Always expected us to just *deal* with whatever was happening around us. I watched my parents constantly disrespect each other up until I was about 13-14. You dont need to be an only child to have issues. The grass is definitely not greener over here.
@@Souchi-itoyeah buy statistically, people with siblings don’t truly know how to respect boundaries.
my older sister still doesn’t understand boundaries (tbf she has massive only child syndrome)
My mother got cancer, so they had to remove her uterus, so she got only me. Never had a problem adapting, sharing, etc. The thing I was always jaleous of is friends who had siblings. My parents died years ago, and so missed the birth of my sons, etc. I have my sons, and husband, but nobody is alive anymore, so nobody to fall back on as in family
Much love ❤
Do not feel bad sometimes having only you kids and husband not so bad I had a abusive monster for a husband toxic familly the I run away from in Mexico move here at 16 I never return and because of them and my ex I trust Noone only my kids all I got
@@Vg41136 I am sorry you got to go through all that!
At least you got your kids indeed. Are you oké now? It made me more independent being without family to go to with support or anything, I hope you have the same.
But I do confess that sometimes I miss that support/backup
@@queenofdaydreams3825 thank you ❤️
Hold fast to your children and husband, God bless you ♥️🥺
I kinda hate the negativity around only children. Like, they can't help that they didn't grow up with siblings. I'm really only referring to the stereotypes, tho.
Or this one: "You must be spoiled" is what I always heard🤦♀️
No, I grew up in a poor household, so money was tight
That's not the point. They're not blaming you for being an only child, they're just articulating common behaviors that only children have. Not all of them are negative, but not all of them are positive either.
You interpreted this study wrong. It's not about negativity, it's about facts and what we can do to improve the situation. Ignoring the study helps nobody.
But ironically, that's a very only child thing to say 😅 like we should ignore science because your feelings are hurt lol
@@petergriffiinbirdisthewordLMAOO that’s what I was thinking😭😭
As an only child, what makes me a “misfit” is my neurodivergence and physical disability, not my lack of siblings.
I am a younger brother(i have 3 older sisters and 1 older brother) and i have a twin brother also. So i never experienced being an only child, i am also a misfit because i am schizophrenic(mentally Ill)
If you have both those issues, never have children of your own.
@@eb1634 and why the hell not
@eb1634 schizophrenia isn't always genetic, and neither are some disabilities. Even if they were, there's many disabled parents who still care for their kids and are great at being parents. Go be a weirdo somewhere else, like offline.
@enkelikarkki They have mental and physical disabilities. It would be cruel to potentially give those to a child.
I always hated the
"Actually I'm an only child
"Oh, I'm so sorry" 💀
Only children are always portrayed as the happiest most spoiled, or sadest and most lonely kids in media. Always treated as a phonomenon rather than the same as other people
Yeah, I think it's mostly from people who didn't really have the internet growing up, but now that only children do we have people to talk to. But either way we have people at school or work too, it's only child not only person lol
Not that deep y'all needa calm down
They should have asked kids with siblings if the actually enjoy sharing anything with each other lol
I did. I remember hours of Batman and Barbie with my brother. Legos. Stuff animals. Good times.
yes my sisters and i get to share cute wardrobes but there are some things she’s super territorial over if she thinks they’re super cute and wants to gatekeep it lol but w my other sister she’s super kind and we both enjoy letting each other be cute in our clothes lol
I really liked sharing. I didn't share everything with my siblings but there are certain thing that we would always share. And it continues even now when I'm on my own, for example I don't really enjoy eating snack if I can't share them with anyone.
I never liked sharing, but learning to do that and how to be considerate made me a better person.
I'll share my toys but I won't share my stuffed animals I also want to share my food I'll make some for you but you ain't touching my food
People tend to say only children don't like to share, but do you really think children with siblings DO like to share? They're just obligated to
I'm an only child. The only reasons i don't share is because people either kept destroying my stuff, which utterly destroyed my trust in other's intentions, or they took me offering them food as me giving them all of it. I got stepsiblings in my late teens and it took me a good two years until i trusted even the middle one (~5 years younger than me) to use my stuff, and only in my presence.
i have younger brother and sister. No big gap. They destoryed my books, toys, even clothes 😂 I also have problem sharing things
If anything being an only child has made me crave friendship and be much more generous than i think other people i know with siblings are. I've always loved having my friends over and sharing things that i like with them and vice versa. I've never had a problem with letting people use my things or sharing food etc.
same. Even a friend of mine who has a sibling told me she learned to share thru me 😂
FINALLY! There is so much negativity and criticism around being an only child or having an only child. I can't tell you how many people would tell me growing up that they felt sorry for me or assumed I must have bad traits, like calling me spoiled, despite not even knowing me. No, I am not/was never lonely. I entertain myself very easily and, while I love my alone time, my parents actually had time for me. I actually really thrived being an only child, especially due to my learning disabilities. I didn't have to compete for attention and received the care I required to succeed. And some people really just can't wrap their heads around that. 🙄
So many things affect a child's development. Being an only child has positives all well as negatives and the impact depends on how cognizant the parents are of its impact. My daughter is an only child and I was incredibly aware of its impact because I was an only child - and my mother was not. So I took great care to ensure that my daughter learnt to share because my mother did not teach me so well - I learnt about sharing because a kid at school made an a remark about me nor being good at sharing as I scoffed down a packet of crisps without offering them around. It literally never crossed my mind. I appreciated the lesson amd made an especial effort from that moment on to look out for gaps in my development as a human being, it taught me profound self awareness. Which I passed on to my daughter. She shares and compromises better than virtually any other child her age. So, many things affect a child development, including a throw away friendly comment from a school friend.
It’s all about how they’re raised and what their world looks like. Glad you’re taking good care of her!
Okay, but to a degree society’s expectations surrounding sharing can be toxic. My mom used to get calls from the school saying I wouldn’t share, but the things they wanted me to share weren’t classroom toys, they were my own personal belongings that I knew I’d play gently with, but to a degree I knew the other kids wouldn’t. I didn’t want my stuff wrecked (this was usually like show and tell days or something)
It was really annoying because I was really good about sharing, making sure if I had the swing for a while and another kid didn’t have a turn I’d give a turn, etc. but if something is your property, you are under no obligation to share. If those crisps were yours in your lunch, for example, expecting you to give up your food to satisfy everyone is not sharing, but it’s just fancy stealing.
And that’s how it should be! My parents only had me since they could only afford one kid, but were aware of the typical problems only children have and raised me without those problems. A lot of people are shocked to find out I’m an only child, but it’s because my parents raised me to have values siblings are usually thought to install in people (they don’t) and forced me to work for a lot of what I have. Sucked as a kid because my friends with siblings typically had parents less on their ass, but definitely made me a more well adjusted adult so I have to be thankful in hindsight lol.
As an only child myself and the only neice to a childless aunt that grew up in the 90s my family wasnt rich at all but I was all they had to get things for so I used to get so many gifts at Christmas Id get tired of opening them. Instead of making me spoiled it actually made me not greedy at all because I always had abundance. Its been my observation that people who grew up with siblings and had scarcity are far more protective or their stuff because they grew up with competition.
Yeah, growing up I had felt no need to be greedy over my stuff. The only thing that stopped me letting cousins borrow toys is that they always come back wrecked or they never come back (and I'd find them wrecked when I visit - somehow my mom always manage to convince me to let them take stuff home with them).
This somehow stuck with me into adulthood, that I cannot trust people with stuff coz they're never responsible enough when using other people's things. I mean, look at how government spend tax money, amirite?! 🤣
The idea that scarcity makes you greedy and possessive is antipoor propaganda
@claire… I’m a childless aunt that adores my niece. I’m so curious what your relationship is like with your aunt? Are you close? To you feel close to her like you could tell her anything?
@@cleopatrajones7096 Oh yes I'm very close. I always have been. She's my father's sister and was always involved in my life and he was an absent alcoholic. She's actually the only one left now and she's 76 and going blind. I speak to her every day, just took her on vacation with my son and I, and will be her primary caregiver till her last day unless somehow I die first.
@@ClaireGreen-wd2gm Thanks for the reply. This got me kinda emotional. I’m so happy you have this relationship. I’ve been with my niece from day 1 and was going to write a book of all the interactions I’ve had with from now until she’s an adult. She’s about 2 now. Also I am her father’s sister. My brother isn’t an alcoholic and I’m so sorry yours was. That must have been a difficult upbringing. My niece is in a home of parents that argue a lot so I’d for her to count on me to be there. I so very much appreciate your reply and the fondness you two have for one another ❤️🙏🏽
I do believe some kids do develop in a way similar to what that old phycologist was thinking, but not all, and i feel those same negitive traits can be found in youngest siblings, and golden children (one that is the parents favorite to the detriment of the other kids).
I don't blame those kids for growing as they do since much of it would be down to nurture and not something that is so simply explained as being an only child.
Exactly 💯 it's all about how the parents raise the child
Yessss, I was just saying that!
I grew up with multiple siblings and I actually hate sharing. or rather being expected to share everything. the feeling of not having anything to call "your own" is honestly suffocating.
As an Only, I find one of two things happen. Parents shelter the kid (much easier since one child to focus on) and the kid may have little understanding of the world and not a lot of independence. Or the opposite, the parents tell the child everything and involve them in the stressful parts. Where you might lie because there’s younger siblings, if it’s an only child, parents will sometimes include them in adult things due to connivence. I knew since I was 10 the almost exact financial situation my parents were in, down to the bills. It was terrible, but it also has allowed me to understand money and finances better myself.
Fellow only child & I'm very aware of this while raising my only child. It's a line that can be very easily crossed (either way) if you don't pay attention to what you're doing, how they're reacting & what they do when they think you're not looking
I was an only child so all of their hatred, disappointment and abuse wasn’t dispersed. The pressure to be perfect because you are the only one and the subsequent hurt after failing sucked.
As an only child this is just a stereotype. In fact I have problems oversharing. Also I think most only children will talk about the fact that they have always wanted a sibling someone to play with and hang out and share with. I honestly think people with with siblings are the ones that are like this because they grew up always having to share and constantly having to do what there siblings want.
As a child with siblings and also friends who are only children, this is a stereotype because it's so common. The same kind of behaviour is also commonly attributed to youngest siblings because it's so common in western society for parents to become less strict and more generous with each subsequent child, as they also become more financially affluent with age, leaving older siblings with a memory of scarcity and responsibility for their burden on the family as a whole and younger ones with a sense of entitlement that of course all good things should come to them first and everyone else should be the ones to compromise.
It's not true for every single case, but it's the fact that it's a frequent issue is what makes people so willing to accept it as true across all boundaries of social strata, financial stability, and cultures within western society.
It's not rich only children or poor only children or only children of a specific race. It's "only children" as compared to "children with siblings" across the board, amongst a lifetime of experiences with different kinds of people. Unlike with race, there's significant social overlap of people with and without siblings to judge this by.
And this is not primarily being spread as an attack against any one group, but an acknowledgement, from people both within and out of the group in question, that a pattern of behaviour is more likely under certain circumstances. The same people who talk about only children are also saying the ways in which growing up with siblings can cause poor behaviour later in life. Fighting over food and such, are common tropes for people with siblings.
If it's not describing your behaviour, congrats on being in a statistical minority. You win the prize, you can go home now. But there's a few million sibling-free people who would joyfully tell you "Lmao that's me all right! My way or the highway! 😂"
I think it's also sometimes that some parents think that when you have siblings you have to share everything. I was lucky to have parents who told us we could have boundaries with each other and have our own things and decide if we wanted to share those specific things but there was also stuff that was to be shared and we had to talk about whose turn it was. I think it's healthy to tell children that they can say no if they have things they want to keep, it also teach other children to deal with frustration and that you're not always to get everything you ask for even if you ask nicely and that's okay!
@@pvp6077but they’re not a statistical minority? These studies are pretty outdated with questionable methods. More recent studies reveal that willingness to share tends to go with parental upbringing as opposed to siblings. Maybe I’m out of line as someone with a degree in statistics, but these studies only observing sibling relationships tend to reveal no statistically significant results on anything lol.
I’m an only child brought up by a single mother, we were surrounded by people in the same situation so I grew up surrounded by lots of kids. We were poor too, so I definitely learned a lot about kindness & sharing.
As an only child if my friend wants to see a movie and i want to bowl, we can go see a movie i care more about my friends then my wants.
same the video gave me more youngest child vibe bc from my experience only children just are happy to be there lol
Exactly, I care more about others then myself! It hurts, but it is my objective make those around me feel good
People pleasing is a form of defense
@@sheepketchup9059this is not people pleasing lol, simple compromising. Bowling vs movie is not that important of a decision when your priority is some quality time with people you care about
Or like, compromise like “hey, how about we go bowling, get dinner, and then go see a movie, then we get to do both” Or “okay, we’ll see a movie this time, but I get to pick the activity next time.” I’m an only child, but I had fairness, equality, and compromise drilled into me so much as a child I can’t stand when those things are disregarded. No friend should be the sole dictator of plans. If there’s more than two, votes are good, otherwise, try to work in both, make a case for yours, or take turns picking.
Nah I've met only child kid being kind and sharing. And kids with siblings being rude and not wanting to share. It's not all black and white.
I appreciate me siblings so much more as an adult that I did as a kid. Just being able to have someone that close to you who can deal with your parents bs together or just relate so much with since you grew up together is so special. It would seem so lonely if you were an only child of only child parents. Not only do you get no siblings you have no aunts, uncles or cousins. When you’re parents die you’re the only one left
As someone with 4 younger siblings who was just out of first grade when my youngest sibling was born, enjoy the time you have wirh your parents if they're worthwhile people
What? My brutha. Being an only child taught me how to rely on myself, enjoy my own company, not be seeking romantic relationships 24/7, and to entertain myself when I’m board- now I have lots of hobbies, so that’s fun.
Totally!
Same. I was a loner but happy enough to be so. I got enough social contact from school and extended family members.
its not the same for everyone.
As a fellow only child , i have to disagree with one point;i do seek out romantic relationships but like one for life and long lasting
Only children are fine being alone. They don’t need someone to tag along, so they get used to doing things without other people wanting to as well.
I’ve known only children that were monsters and only children that were just like anyone else (I’m the oldest of two, myself). It always depends on how the parents raised them. Any child could grow up to be a terrible person if their parents didn’t try. I feel like maybe it’s easier to let an only child become very selfish, but it’s not automatic. There’s plenty of ways to prevent it, like with any child.
Having better cognitive abilities than their sibling counterparts at the cost of worse social skills(?)
- An only child
Social skills are what I excel at, far better than my friends and cousins who all have siblings
Signed, the only child social sacrifice who always orders for the table
Yeah but socialising with siblings is lightyears different from anyone else lol
@@Justyouraveragechaosenjoyer TEACH ME YOUR WAYS
Only the already well-adjusted ones though 😂😂😂
Dysfunctional family like 99% of America? Congrats on having no social skills and being just as dumb as all your peers 😃👍🏾
@@violett874 That's a good to note, children are expensive afterall.
I teach preschool, and have taught only, middle, youngest, oldest, you name it. I've taught siblings from the same families, too. Some of the only children are extremely aware of the other kids' feelings, and some are extremely selfish, just like the students with siblings. I will say, some only children are kind of in their own world and need a lot of help figuring out how to interact with other kids. Almost all of it comes down to parenting, and making sure your only child is able to interact with other kids (with your guidance and support) from a young age.
I never understood the concept of fighting over food and being super selfish UNTIL i met people with siblings. I usually cook food for myself and my mom and i cook enough for leftovers. I like to cook and than sit down a rest for a couple of minutes. I remember cooking for an ex and him and his siblings scarfed all the food like pigs and when i got up to serve myself there was nothing left. No one saved me anything. I grabbed my jacket got in my car and drove off and blocked him. Never spoke to him again. Ive met plenty of people with siblings that act like that too. This is why i always serve myself first and look out for my well being because the competition for resources between siblings is downright vindictive. From food to even spouses!
As an only kid I used to be ok with sharing my stuff. But my classmates (especially the boys) always take advantage of this. Ive seen so many girl's stationary and books get lost or broken when they get returned. For some reason many boys think that its their god given right to just take their stuff without asking or if you refuse then they get upset. Which is why i have completely stopped giving anyone my stuff unless theyre close friends
But that was taken advantage of as well as my best friend would always take my things to the point where ive completely stopped sharing.
All old studies like this need to be reevaluated lol. More recent studies show it’s typically dependent on how your parents raised you/if they were involved as parents. A secondary large factor is also financial status.
Im an only son (now adult) but i was always taught about sharing, being selfless and bearing the consequences to my acts. I think ppl look up anything to justify why someone is awfull.
Each individual is unique and has a mind of its own, and (im not saying it doesnt influence) is a complete diferent human being regardless of education.
My cousin has fertility problems and has only one child, and in my community 8 children is average....
She makes sure her kid hangs out a lot with neighbor kids as well as his cousins. I must say he is a very well rounded child!!
im an only child, i NEVER clicked with my peers EVER. my entire tenure in school was spent alone (or ridiculed). i didnt have issues around adults though, but i was genuinely unable to understand finding any enjoyment the way my peers played with each other
My father is an only child and my mother is the youngest child of four, both came from very unstable and unhealthy households. Safe to say they aren’t good people or parents and they barely know how to function. In fact i spent the majority of my childhood, parenting and taking care of them.
(Of course there is more context to this than the fact that they are an only child and youngest child, but i think it definitely did affect them.)
I feel like for some of us it can go the other way around at times too. Like when i was little, I was always giving away "too much" of the stuff i didnt want anymore to friends, doing whatever i thought would make them happy, struggling to get them to stop going through my things, etc. As a teenager, I convinced my parents to let my homeless friends from school live with us. Most ended badly, but some ended up becoming much closer with my parents and I (one of them is still referred to as my dad's "other kid" to this day, and we r 25-26 years old.) I kinda outgrew those habits because of abuse/bullying and trust issues, but none of the abuse/bullying was from family, and most of it wasn't from friends either. I love being an only child, but i hated it when i was a little kid.
Also im not saying that im "too nice" or anything, because i acknowledge that convincing my parents to put up with other high school kids wasn't always "nice" for them 100% of the time, and I admit that I rely on family too much. I also have less friends now, but thats my choice (quality over quantity, less to keep up with, etc., plus im autistic & not as trusting as i used to be)
My younger sister is like this and she's in the middle of six. It's not always qhether one has siblings or not, and more was the kid coddled and never taught manners.
i was an only child but my parents were boomers who didn’t treat me like a kid at all so i ended up weird in other ways lol. but not a selfish douche at least.
I grew up with sibling and cousins under the same roof and I *HATE* sharing. Not only I would have to share with the little ones but also with the adults, leaving me with only a bite or two of whatever snack/food I had. Nothing was safe. I had a drink? They'd just take it from me and pass it around the whole family. A small sized snack , obviously made for one person? That was taken to the kitchen and cut up so everyone tasted it. Food bought with money that was not from my folks and that I went and got from the store by myself? Had to share, no such thing as eating alone. Ate something out in town, completely away from my folks? Can't mention it at home, or else I'd get an earful for "secret eating".
To this day, I hide snacks, I can’t eat at the same table as my folks, I hate family meals and I get cat-like food aggression if someone tries to reach for my food before I got to eat at least 50% of it. I'm just so damn tired of having food snatched from my plate, from my hands, or paying full price for something I only get one bite out of.
Either your family had no money or was controlling over food. I figured it was the former until they would get mad at you for eating out and 'secret eating'. Yeah they made a horrible decision with that, I'm sorry.
I am an only child who is now a mother of an only child. From my experience hearing friends lives, I find it comforting that myself and my son get attention that is not divided that’s the biggest thing.
I was actually really lonely being an only child so now i love sharing and doing things with people.
Ok, but what about the kid who could lift up a piano? What happened to him/ her?!? :0
Are you telling me they had the potential first member of an X-men style group of kids and passed it over? No school for gifted children? Lol
/jk but only somewhat
That caught my attention too, a child can lift a whole piano and this guy focuses on the effects of being an only child? What other kids in the study had super powers??
I've a friend who is an only child, its made them difficult to deal with at times because they lack certain socialisation and their inability to put themselves in other people shoes makes them come across as extremely selfish. I still love them to bits but its easier to love them from afar since you need a lot of patience. On the flip side, despite being a youngest child, I feel like in actuality, its usually the youngests child grow into the more selfish people.
Kid playing teacher? Wow that's so bizarre. I mean, I definitely taught my stuffed animals things in a classroom type setting but that's normal
Used to have an ex coworker who was very much an only child. It was either her way or the highway.
She was very annoying to work with, not to mention lowkey racist. Thank goodness I left there when I did.
I'm the eldest of five. Having more siblings doesn't make you a better person. More often than not, the eldest kids in families like mine are parentified. Made to be essentially built in babysitters. I can promise you that a lot of my bitchy behaviors come from the entitlement that comes with that role. I felt like I deserved more because I did so much. And a lot of the time I was straight up ignored in favor of my younger brothers. I was 16 by the time I got my first xbox despite my brothers having been getting new ones since they were 11 and up. I know how that might sound but I was a kid soooooo-
it goes to show it's kind of the power of socialization, cousins or close family friends can serve the same socializing effect.
I really, really have always wanted to be an only child. With different parents...
My best friend is an only child and he’s the kindest most giving human being I’ve ever met
My parents fought hard against it whenever I acted spoiled. I had to apologize and return/give away things several times during my childhood. I think I was used to getting my way simply because I usually did, not in a spoiled way but more like, I always got things for christmas only for myself, all my parents' attention (when they were free to give it) was naturally on me because there wasn't anyone else around. Anyway especially my dad was extremely strict with me treating others with respect.
I've been told I have older sibling energy even though I'm an only child, that says enough for me lol
I'm an only child and an extrovert with a dysfunctional family. I severely and desperately crave to have siblings, to have someone to talk to...
(I currently live with my grandma)
Guess I have only child’s syndrome because I don’t like sharing even though I grew up with 7. These facts are pulled out of butts
Ive met adult only children who couldn't brush their own hair so honestly it comes down to gow normal their parents can be about taking care of and socializing them
A lot of only children fall victim to being at either end of the extremes of being severely neglected or wildly coddled
Can you do a video on the studies around birth order? Like first borns are more studious, second borns more social, third or youngest are most likely to struggle with adiction or have a criminal record...
Only child I was brought up to share everything and taught I couldn’t always get my own way. My child is also a only child also brought up with these values.
I'm not..only child of my parents
But I used to teach..my imaginary students too..
I think I was lonely
My boyfriend says that when we get married, we can only afford to have one child. I've always hated the idea of having a child grow up without siblings, so I hope I can convince him in the future to want at least one more!
Every time I hear 19the century I immediately get suspicious
Me and my best friends are all older siblings. We all compromise and have a hard time making decisions. Like none of us want to pick and we ask the others what they want instead
Defo stereotypes haha as an only child I would always share my stuff with friends no problem or question. Can’t say the same when they have things tho. Seems being forced to share everything makes them ‘more’ selfish as adults. Broke friends tend to be more generous and the ones with money tend to be extremely tight and never help each other. Idk, just my two pennies. Found a lot of people broke trust with items of the years too but I always try to see the good in people and trust too easily lol
I think only children have the best traits of being an eldest child but the worst part of being the youngest child. They're given more responsibility as children which causes them to be more successful statistically but they can also be more coddled than average child
~❤~ my grandson was an only child for 10 yrs then bam he's a big brother to twins.. At first he use to do bad things for attention but fast forward 2 years he's back to being himself again..Oneday is his day with his mom and the 2nd is the twins day..Sometimes they do things together like go to the zoo or animal shelter..Once a year is big vacation time only 12 year gets to go because he's a big boy..Twins stay home..We've been on some really nice vacations over the last several years..Alaska, Tennessee, Pennsylvania, New Mexico, California, Utah, Hawaii ..this year we're going to Texas..😅😅😅 All 3 kids are spoiled in their own way..
tbh it's how they're raised. one of my cousins is an only child whose really not a good person and she can be really selfish sometimes but my neighbor is an only child and is a very kind, and funny guy just like his parents.
I've known several only children who really fit the stereotype of being selfish and spoilt. They never liked anyone else getting attention because they were so used to being the focus all the time. I noticed this with all of these only children and it's made me wary of them. Apologies to any only children who don't agree. But I've been around long enough to know way too many only children adults who were toxic people.
I'm an only child and so is my son. So this hits home.
I was an only child for almost a decade before getting siblings, so I feel a little bit of both. But I feel like ome thing people forget about having siblings is that parents often will assume they will spend time with each other and therefore don't prioritize spending time with the kids themselves. Not every family obviously but easily overlooked.
Eating chips. "Oh can I have one?" I felt that, that facial expression like "what?" No you can't. 😂😂
I am an only child, but i have the opposite problem. I tend to people please and won't ask for what I want. Though now I have a husband who is determined to give me what I really want and has made me less of a people pleaser.
I’ve always felt somewhat sorry for only children. It seems like it would be so lonely.
Thank you, never even expected to be stereotyped as a selfish mf. No, but seriously, all of this depends on parents a lot.
As the second borne of a family of seven this is great fuel to throw at the first borne in my family. Not only does this person act like the Ruler but still retains the Only Child Syndrome.
As an only child me and my cousin was left alone alot and my grandmother did put alot of effort into my mental development from a young age so i think i turned out fine ig
My son is only child he doesnt act like tht hes very loving giving and very good kid tbh
I am technically not an only child my sister is 9 years older than me but I am my dad’s only child. Let me tell ya it took me 30 years to realize I didn’t get everything I wanted. I was a selfish entitled asshole. I still struggle with sharing stuff to this day and I’m 36. I’m thankful I was able to see it for myself when I got clean so now I try to be better.
I had a friend who has siblings who would play teacher as a child …
Being an only child in a neglectful household will effect the child like a disease. But any child, Even siblings are effected in neglectful or abusive homes. But sometimes having a sibling can help bc you have a peer with you. Only children develop on their own. Unfortunately sometimes parents favor one child over the other and create rifts between them. A child's development is based on their environment and their parents rearing.
I as an only have no problem sharing & am considerate to others wants & needs. I love my sis in law though so do kinda wish I had a sister
Subtitles are in a very bad place
I would probably not be alive anymore without my sister, because of the childhood abuse a live through and the resulting mental health issues and in the worst times I was only able to cope with them without my sister. But I know that it depends on the people, so that siblings in sertain situations can be harmful.
People who grew up as the only child also don't know how to share a lot of the time 😅. Often a little unconsciously selfish wanting things to go their way, or the highway. Not all though. Some are very giving, outgoing and love to have people around them! Always these polar opposites
If an only child is raised right and has the proper socialization then they don’t end up “spoiled”. As for the “weirdness” like that girl who pretended to be a teacher, I think only children just learn to entertain themselves and be alone for long periods of time, and that’s a great thing!
I feel so sorry for only children it must be awfully lonely - especially in this modern, urban lifestyle where people are alienated from each other. Must be difficult for the parents too
I love being an only. I was very needy (neurodivergent) and having siblings would have just fucked up my home life and little piece of stability I had. I had friends to be friends with lmao
My parents are also happy because they can give me anything and don't have to divide things up or constantly worry about being "fair" to everyone
Why? I was never bored or lonely during the lockdowns. Meanwhile, most people were bitching within a week about loneliness and boredom. Also, onlies are incredibly ambitious, especially when we have no else to rely on.
I only have one child and make sure he shares and compromises. Now is just second nature to him. Nothing to do with being the only child everything to do with having half as* parents
It's a very poor hypothesis that overlooked crucial elements like: social status of the family (rich, privileged, poor), the personal history of parents (infertility, infant deaths, their newborn battling an illness) and their character (egomaniac, entitled, fear of abandonment, controlling). Children imitate the values of their parents and family. It's very unlikely that a kid who saw their parents genuinely helping and sharing goods with others, will have zero inclinations to show their love like this. OCS is a very specific problem amongst rich, privileged people who raise their kids to look down on people, feel entitled and to be possessive of their possessions despite having a lot since money is their strongest suit. What can you expect from people who were breed to believe they're better? That they gonna share with peasants? Also people who grew up in legacy families are taught entitlement and raised to have a superiority complex. For such people compromise or expressing love through the gesture of sharing is ridiculous.
Some parents had been trying for children for a very long time before it happened or experienced their newborn being seriously sick. The moment the child was born or got healthy, they believed a miracle happen. Despite happiness and relief, the trauma was still there, making them spoil the kid to an extremely unhealthy degree. They felt guilty and ungrateful anytime they tried to discipline the child.
There is a branch of overprotective parents who desperately fight for their children's approval and friendship at every cost, raising them to be entitled. They don't want them to be independent and mature, so they emotionally stunt them to he forever bounded, "he's never gonna find a better woman than me", "she's my little princess, I'll control her love life and treat her like property, expecting her boyfriends to value my opinion more than hers. All under disguise of protection". Child for them is like an emotional support pet, not a separate human being. They like to he needed and what regular parents dream of for their children, is their biggest nightmare.
Often people with siblings born to bad parents grow up to be very dedicated with a tendency to self-sacrifice because they were the one who took the responsibility upon themselves to look after their siblings. They had to share, to care and to compromise because they wanted to give some warmth and happiness to their siblings, growing up to be adults who never put themselves first. It's not a case of siblings or not. We all know many people who have OCS despite their siblings. It's all about parental dynamics and how do adults in the children's life interact with each other. Watching teachers backstabbing each others, parents badmouthing neighbors and grandparents constantly having problem with fulfilling basic needs of their guests like serving tea, whereas being taught how special and unique they are despite doing literally nothing and putting no effort, creates egomaniac who can't share. Yes.
I am an only child and i am the least spoiled brat kind possible. I grew up to be a people pleaser just to get some crumbles of connection bwcause i spent my whole childhood in solitude. But I consider myself smart and my imagination is wild... ❤
I remember when a classmate talked gossip about a friend of mine and said that she is that ignorant and selfish because she is an only child as if that was an excuse and i told her i am an only child too, you can be an only child and not be a prick
had a friend at school who was an only child she hated it cried and said it was lonely and she had great parents got everything she wanted but she always wanted siblings that's why she called her cousins and friends her siblings she always said anyone who has siblings should be happy because they are lucky they don't have to grow up alone and i am thankful for having siblings we actually didn't have to share anything but we chose to sure sometimes we were selfish but we knew how to share like we'd watch Saturday morning cartoons together we would trade toys we'd watch movies or play games together we played outside together but our parents did make us by each other Christmas and birthday gifts for each other we all went on family trips together had to save up allowence i remember one time my dad borrowed 100 bucks from me and said he'd pay me back never did 😢 but i didn't say anything because they're my parents and it really didn't matter so we never grew up selfish thankfully
I don't know. I'd rather be an only child than deal with having a sibling any day
I was an only child growing up and if you're not okay with sharing or working together in a group then your parents failed you. My friend's sister in law is also an only child but she's the most selfish and non considerate person I know and you can just tell she was raised like a little princess. I was still taught to share and when I was a little kid Id throw hissy fits about it I got over it and now as an adult I ain't like that first video lol but my friends SIL is
The most selfish and inflexible people I’ve ever met are only children. Some of them are nice and can do cool things, though, when their parents put so much positive attention into them. I couldn’t justify having only one, though, because most of them aren’t as caring and empathetic despite having more resources growing up.
Anybody get the old "I'll bet you're spoiled!" when you mentioned being an only child? That was the most irritating thing for me. I knew people from large families who got way more than I did. I didn't get new clothes very often as I usually got hand me downs from older cousins. I still have no interest in fashion and wear clothes until they're almost rags.
Im an only child, but ive always caved to what my friends want to do because i just like that i HAVE friends lol
Yo he nailed it with the faces he makes to
Can confirm, I don't act like that first clip.
I’m an only child who grew up with a sibling dynamic with my uncle (8 year age difference) so I both do and do not fit in with the only child things 🤷🏼♀️
as an only child, my dad always made sure to steal my chips or make sure we got the same amount of ice cream ect. He sure treated me like a sibling 😂