Fascinating! I'd always seen alters as 'others', but this shows them as just memories that have become disconnected from the main consciousness. I've always looked at these odd behaviors as 'that's not me', but this perspective is more a discovery of side branches to a main trunk of consciousness. Kind of like the quiet kid at the back of the classroom who one day starts raising his hand and saying, "Me! Me!" He's been there all along, just hasn't made his pressence known before. Memories are always there, just not necessarily wanting to be seen - until the main stream is ready. Thanks!
My therapist ended the therapy because I wrote to her earlier under the influence of a destructive part that I would not continue the therapy. A few weeks later I contacted her, corrected myself in my decision and asked her if I could still come, if she would give me a second chance. She said no. I can't believe that she is supposed to be a trauma therapist and has expertise with DIS. This hits me really hard to the worst time. I‘m totally speechless, sad and in a downward spiral.
And for good reason, I can't believe she did that... I'm so sorry for you. It really feels like not many therapists really understood how these destructive, protective and scared parts can make us do things that can be seen as counterproductive for them and it is a shame. We know that we're looking for help and we know we've got some of us scared enough to continue at times or even destructive, but for them, they are either unaware of this or tend to forget that even though we may appear as one being, the reality is totally different. I stopped counting the number of times where I was doing something because "I" felt a certain way at a specific moment, and where I, not even half an hour later, felt like the opposite again. It can be so frustrating, and I can relate to your pain here. It may not be much coming from a complete stranger on the net, but you've been heard here. I hope you'll find someone better suited for yourselves in the near future, and for what it's worth, here's a virtual hug 🫂 Please take care
Thanks for this video, it really highlights how extremely complex alters in OSDD/DID are. Thanks for this because I see how alters are a lot more related to self, so a being who isnt may not be an alter too. I really hope that people with OSDD/DID get more support worldwide... it's a very vulnerable situation to go through. Also wish you well!
OMG, this is so helpful. I am new to the idea we might be a system and am constantly confused by what is me, what is an alter I don't know or who isn't/ can't talk to me and what else might be going on. Thank you again and I hope you are getting enough rest and care
Hope you are being held well as you sit in the space between diagnosis and surgery. Right there with you, breast cancer waiting on surgery date, knowing in about two weeks it will be surgery day. Really helps me keep coming back here when I would rather quit learning and worry needlessly.instead I imagine I will hear from a number of parts during this so why not see how much to evaluate as a result of this experience. If I can pay attention...but this helps me remember what to look for even in this giant bump in the road. I appreciate you.
Dear Dr Mike❤️ Would you please make a video on how each and every experience IS experienced by every part in the system? And the complications that come with each alter creating their own opinion on the matter at hand- and the internal conflict this fact creates? I’ve talked to my therapist about this and concluded that this process of all the alters experiencing every single situation on the outside and having their own opinion on what to do/not to do is what makes decision making absolutely impossible- concerning anything. And to the outside we seem as someone who never gets anything done right, and who sway back and forth- when in reality it’s different alters wanting different things. It’s really awful how this plays out in every decision making situation- ranging from what clothes to wear to who to marry. I’m guessing it’s internal communication that’s the answer? But then we would do nothing but sit in meetings in our Dôme (headspace) and discuss what decisions to make… I would love to hear your thoughts on this❤
Our reaction/comment/concern regarding your diagnosis is belated but nonetheless heartfelt - the news checked me out a bit and, despite many notes to remind me/us, it appears there is an 'invisible influence' in our system here about this subject. Seemed an appropriate time and place here considering the topic. Please add our energy to the significant good will and best wishes from online and no doubt in your familiar closer circles. You've helped us a great deal Dr. Lloyd - We wish you strength, health and victory! Warmest regards from the west coast of Canada 🍁
At any normal time, we would have completely agreed with this, until recently when we faced some life-changing events. With the cup spilling example, would like to add that we spent our life being aware that our trauma caused many, of what could be explained as a trauma response as a way to explain some of the behaviour, meaning we spilt lots of cups of tea and knocked things over. Until it became obvious that something was going wrong with the body. We recently had to go through being neurologically tested, as we have big symptoms. Our left side of the body failed the tests (our left leg did not reflex when hit with the hammer, plus it could not weigh bear). Our left hand also didn't reflex strongly when tapped with the hammer. The eyesight issues, plus a whole lot of other physical symptoms, had led to us now being tested and looking down the barrel of being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). The doctor said, "You must have been in huge amounts of pain, what took you so long to get help?". We pointed out that for a lot of our lives, everyone said it was all caused by trauma and we had to focus on the trauma. Ultimately in an ideal world both the physical and the so-called mental, meaning trauma would be looked at equally, as we have had so much degeneration with this by leaving it for far too long (we also dissociate from pain as torture as a child) we are sicker than a non-trauma person would have been with the normal degeneration that happens with MS.
Really sorry to hear about your situation. We work on the basis that any possible medical explanation would have been ruled out, so this example is purely about a behaviour, not a symptom. We hope you will be ok.
I'm being more open about having dissociative symptoms and behaviors. This just made it easier to approach. I'm also learning for a character I've written to have DID/OSDD. Thank you.
I don’t know if I’m behind but I just wanted to wish you luck with your surgery and recovery, though I know you’ll recover quickly because of your positive and healthy heart. You care, and we care about you, blessings xoxo
Very helpful! I am sure this will be quite useful throughout my days and weeks. In retrospect I can see this example in many areas of my/our life that we have managed to heal already 💪🏼😎 Thank you ❤ hope you're doing well, Mike 🙏🏼
Always love to see your videos while i work through getting diagnosed. My therapist is also aware of you and its very nice to be able to reference concepts in your videos and know she understands
Dear Dr Lloyd, you already look much healthier and fresher than in the last videos. It is certainly good for you to know what is going on now and that the treatment starts now. good luck and strength.! I can almost never make contact with any inner persons and I often don't understand my behaviour. What really annoys me is not going to bed at night and being awake until the early hours. It is difficult to distinguish whether I am simply weak-willed or lazy or already too tired or whether an inner person is actually responsible for this. I can't find an answer. But I keep asking.
i hope you're well, doctor! one of my parts uses a lot of your advice and information to self-help our system and she really loves this one. it confirmed something she theorized about but we also have ocd which can cause thoughts like this too. she loves to collect and organize information to be a strong protector and sustain our autonomy and your information is delivered in a way that makes her experiences feel real and like she's intelligent enough to use this information. it's not dumbed down. i just wanted to say thanks on her behalf. an alter who takes a lot from cats is really good at catching things we drop before they spill or damage is done to anything. i mean like 99% catch rate. it's wild but it's sudden and if someone witnessed it i'd seem very jumpy or easily startled. but she's very useful for her gracefulness and these spatial awareness skills. the hardest part about accepting some of the weirder parts of DID, especially the influence of alters, is that those alters formed because of specific things and so have very different senses of self. it makes me a very eccentric person as a whole, but i'm starting to be more forgiving of that and accept it this year.
Thank you for this excellent video! I have had something like this, happening seemingly at random every now and then during therapy sessions. It went on for years. And I thought it must be because I am just weird and stupid, because this behaviour was not by any known part. But just recently we found the part of us that does this, for reasons that make sense in the context of our past. And hopefully in the near future we can work with this part to resolve the underlying trauma. I would be relieved if this behaviour stopped.
@@thectadclinicThank you for answering. Wow, this means that you‘ve already made up your mind what kind of treatment you want and what you refuse (if you refuse any). With me/us, it took a bit more time. Congratulations for making brave steps towards recovery! 🤗
First, I’m so sorry you (the most genuine, giving and caring person) are suffering with this horrible health condition!! I truly and sincerely wish you the absolute best and that you miraculously recover fully and quickly!!!! Second, and I feel so pathetic for saying anything given what you are dealing with (😣) I am in the US. I’d been diagnosed with cPTSD, major depression and severe anxiety disorder. 5 different therapists tried for 5 years to get me stable enough to utilize EMDR, but each one reached the conclusion that there was no help for me, I was treatment and drug resistant and I would have to find a way to deal with it. I knew that I couldn’t quit trying, otherwise there was no way I could continue to live that way. Sorry, long story short, after trying 2 sessions of A.R.T. therapy that was a 3 hour drive one way from home….well it almost quite literally killed me. On my next visit I was tested and diagnosed with DID. Initially I thought‘there’s no way’. I mean, it made a lot of things make sense but I just couldn’t accept it. Until my adult daughters told me about meeting several “others” and it opened up a dialogue where I learned that I heard, felt and saw many things others don’t when I always assumed they did. My problem is that apparently the others in my system hate me with a passion and refuse to communicate with me. I’ve searched and used every resource I can find to get help with how to handle my losing days, sometimes weeks, receiving packages that I did not order or have the money to pay for. But I can’t find a single person in all of the US that will agree to work with me! My primary doctor doesn’t even know what it is and my latest “treatment center “ I was sent to flat out said that DID does not exist, I was just faking and/or hallucinating. But it’s gotten so bad, I’ve “come back” to the police knocking on my door and I have no idea what my body had done! I’ve lost all my friends and all of my family except my oldest (apparently my regularly appearing alters very much like-but they say nasty things about me to her and 1 in particular is always putting me down, I’ve become so clumsy I’ve torn all 4 ligaments in my left ankle, 2 in my right, broken my nose and both wrists and can’t count how many times I’ve come back covered in blood, panicking until I realize I have cuts all over myself. (I pray it’s all just my blood!) I am at wits end!! I’m scared I’m going to hurt someone! I need help but I can’t find any!! I would give anything to be able to go to your clinic, but I’m about to have my home taken away and I don’t own a car. I have nowhere to go and no way or money to get there…wherever “there” is. Do you have any advice, suggestions, directions, anything that could help me??? I’m really sorry to be so selfish for asking for help when you have soooo much more important things to worry about! I’m just desperate, is the only excuse I have. 😢
In situations like this, I figure it's less helpful to ask where influence is necessarily coming from (unintended blame/shame), and more helpful to ask how we're all contributing to the problem (connection/accountability). (being in a system has sometimes made me think I might do well as a family therapist lol...)
Wow! That has really got me thinking. It's very close to home. I have FND, and with intensive physical therapy and FND psychoeducation, I am startng to recover a lot of gross motor abilities and mobility, but my hands are really lagging with recovery. This is especially true in the kitchen! I hadn't stopped to think there could be something else going on. Thanks for the insightful video!
Even with dissociation that is not severe enough to create alters, this makes sense for all complex trauma survivors. Why am I doing this behaviour that I don't understand or want? Curiosity without judgement is so powerful
This is EXACTLY my problem. I used to think i was just crap a lot of things but finding out more and more this is not the case. Have not pinpointed exactly how it works yet but it is there.
Mine is generalised, except when it is not. I can do things one moment and not the next. Forcing myself to do the things that are problematic because i know i CAN do them causes serious backlash.
This is great thank you! I have DID and I can’t seem to stop wanting to fleei from a relationship where I miss some clarity. Instead of voicing myself, I keep offering distance. It’s a behavior I cannot stop and somehow can’t seem to control what I say when I’m in this mode. As a kid I wasn’t looked to flee certain situations (e.g. caretaking a sick parent over a long time). Now, conversely, my flight mode doesn’t kick in when it should. And I can’t pinpoint any of my “known” alters when I’m in my mode to flee and offer distance. Could that be an alter that doesn’t like to communicate with me? I’m asking because when I’m like this, my entire reality shifts and it seems like the only logical solution. But as soon as I ask “who wants to flee?” The urge IMMEDIATELY disappears.
Hopefully, eventually, as you ask yourself/yourselves what they want to do, they may start to chime in more directly. That will maybe start to help you figure out who wants what & be able to align everyone's motivations. I had only just started gaining the ability to communicate/coordinate with my parts, but then lost it after getting freaked out. Ot's been a solid few months of hollowness, but the influence is creeping back in, so... I hope to be able to reach where I was at & then some.
@@ZijnShayatanica thank you for sharing this! What you said actually helped me come to terms with my system going quiet. I have an awesome therapist but one session he said „oh there are so many of you already“ in a positive tone, but my system has interpreted it as „there are too many of us“ and has stopped talking to me. Communication is slowly getting better again
@@visponvi I'm glad I could help! Hearing you had a similar experience has been validating for me, too... It's been easy to tell myself I was just making things up/being dramatic. But it seems like it's a fairly normal phenomenon for people with DID/OSDD to become connected or disconnected & for the internal relationships to go through phases. 🙂 I can see why your system might've gotten freaked out by that! Wishing you all the best. I'm starting therapy again after a hiatus after the overwhelm of my diagnosis a few months ago, so... Things should be looking up for me, too. 🤞
The behavior from the system members serves a purpose and is communication… that makes sense to us. That helps us look at this past weekend. Read some of a book and can’t finish it. Triggered rly intense flashbacks. Then someone in here accused our parents of going out with someone who hurt us, another family member. Turns out days later we learned that was all a misunderstanding and never happened. A big trauma wound for us is not feeling protected. And in those traumatic memories we weren’t. We know it was one of us that made that conflict happen. And the end result was that we learned we were protected and the past isn’t happening in the present. Thank you so much. We wouldn’t have made sense of that unless we consumed this new information. We hope you’re doing ok and getting the support and treatment you need. You please do take great care too ❤
Thank you for this. We deal with a lot of internal conflict, but we don’t know why. This causes paralysis for us most of the time. Too many alters work at cross-purposes, and it cripples us. Internal influence is extremely powerful. 💜
Interesting - for us, the first thing we would do is assume that the mug is too high up, and put it lower down, and if it was generalised clumsiness, we'd consider if we have a physical reason for it first - eg. arthritis (I'm 62). I always look for a physical reason first because sometimes it just is, no matter what mental illness you have. Once that has been crossed out, then we go for the mental health issues. Sometimes though, it can be obvious that it's an internal thing so we don't bother with the physical perspective. And sometimes we get completely fooled. Just recently because of a physical issue, I got put on an estrogen IUD. It changed a lot of things mentally as well, and relieved some mental health issues. And these were issues that had caused trouble for decades. TL;DR when you have issues don't forget to consider if it may be a physical health issue.
Can invalidating your system cause everyone to Be afraid to talk, especially if that was Some thing abusers did often? I have child alters that hide when I pretend that they’re not real or think that they’re not real. I guess when thinking about strange behaviors could invalidation cause any of this kind of stuff to happen? It’s mainly something that happens with child alters. Also, we truly hope you are doing well And think of you often! Sending lots of healing vibes your way , Thank you for all you do!
This makes a ton of sense. Thank you. 😊 We were researching our mental health for a few years before becoming aware, and then it's now been nearly a year since we were diagnosed with OSDD. Thank you for all that you do and wishing you wellness and happiness. ♡☆
Thank you! What would you then say is the significant difference between an alter telling their story/trauma with using these behaviours as their "language" and what may be called a "Freudian mistake"? The unconciuos might be frightening as well, but in their own way.
Thank you so mutch for your videos, they are very helpful. Do you can explan the process of confrontation with alters? How does that works? And is it possible that one alter has a sickness and the host not?
This made up situation feels very familiar for us & in many situations! Thanks for this really helpful video. I have a sneaky suspicion it also shows up in fibromyalgia pain too. It explains why DIY sometimes feels easier than cooking dinner right now.
I've seen a psychologist who is part of ISSTD in the USA. They claimed I was delusional in thinking I'm a nine year old dismissing all the abuse I endured
Our body is 4 ft 7 inches tall and have neuro-muscular issues (hand/wrists like to let go as we're carrying breakable items...we just got a script from an orthopaedist today for physical therapy and specifically mentioned the Dropsy thing) We have to be very careful with tea mugs. VERY CAREFUL
This is interesting I cannot abide by bad smells in my home. It’s something that sets me off and makes me feel insane, as sometimes, bad smells (burnt food, blocked drain) happen I was curious and with my therapist, one of my alters bought forward that the house we grew up in was not cared for and had a terrible smell. Parents were hoarders, there were cats etc Anyway, got to the bottom of it and it is an interesting topic
I see. So you were answering someone else question. I have a qustion. I once saw a woman get hit by a car, someone next to me said they have problems. She looked like a young adult, but she wasnt on a croswalk and she was next to a parked car. I only saw that only once in my entire life in a first world country. What would that be called?
I or one part have had a lot of seizure-æike spasms. Not epileptic. So I use to drop things when I was stressed or close to trauma-experience. As an adult I can control it most of the times but it feels as if the connexion to the muscles come and go.
Hi Mike. Firstly, I'd like to say i hope you are doing ok under the circumstances and your upcoming hospital treatments ❤. Secondly, in relation to the above video. I am currently struggling with someone/s (internal) moving my hospital letters from a draw that i keep them in, ready for my appointments, and they are also deleting the info from my backup on my mobile phone. Therefore, I'm missing critical appointments, which can be very detrimental to my health and wellbeing. I have tried saying to myself, " What would Mike say?" and i have also asked my alters of any knowledge around this. No one has come forward, but i know i put the letters in the draw and also took pictures on my phone as a backup. The only thing I'm getting back is that they don't believe us anyway. Meaning, that on my last visit to the hospital, my issues were immediately put down to fibromyalgia flare-ups although this issues had been going on for many years now. I know my body and know that this is not the case, but i can not pursue this if my appointments get missed. This is also distressing for me and my family due to recent serious health scares and hospital admissions. I'm at a loss on how to address this further to resolve the situation. Any insight would be gratefully received if this is appropriate. Thank you, and take great care of yourself. ❤
I also have another question. Because my disorder is on a different spectrum though i have alters. Does OSDD/DID have the power to resist these things? Are they also impulses like mine or something else?
I had a question, not sure if this applies, but could this relate to compulsive behaviors (not related to ocd, but feeling like you need to do something without any idea why since we dont want to do it and it causes distress/discomfort, and usually cause flashbacks.) We often feel we're being taken over and our body is being controlled by something, but we never know who or what or why, and our attempts to resist the compulsive behavior has led to heavy dissociation where we cannot function and have to sleep and the dissociation only improves once the compulsion has been able to happen. Could this be related to invisible influences like what you explained?
Im going to regret this as i always feel so much shame in asking anything but I must be a bit confused cause i didn’t understand any of this? Mind you, confusion and seizures are a daily occurrence now and with each seizure things make less sense but what exactly was this video about cause the question you were answering doesn't seem to be added to the video? Or it's my only two brain cells not rubbing together 😅 I am diagnosed as severely DID with a list of other stuff so DID, C-PSTD, BPD, ABC, 123 😂 and the list goes on however i do have one really serious question is there medication out there for ppl like me? Im just asking cause im the problem in our house and i would really like to shutdown the bad parts and to make me more normal and less embarrassing for my son and the reason of all of our marriage problems with my husband because my medical system has had the call put out for a psych for me but no one wants to work with me so im on my own and struggling so im wanting to know is there a medication or a few medications that can just shut me down since i cant get the help i need and having someone inside me constantly believing that to end our life is the only real option to make everyone happy to be free of me? I know im being selfish and only talking about myself here, and im really sorry yo only go on about myself. Ijust can't find any answers to any of my questions, and can DID get worse? And i also keep getting told im ASD and ADHD how on earth can that happen but im being blamed because my kids are ASD and ADHD with anxiety disorder, did i do that to them, did I by just existing harm my children?
I hope you get to understand, as my plan was it to be helpful! Think of it like an alter may influence a traumatic behaviour response without any part of the system knowing the alter is there. This can lead the person to think the behaviour is naturally there and feel bad because of it.
@thectadclinic so all the arguments I cause because I get so confused a lot is not my fault? I'm the one who has to say sorry all the time, so you're maybe saying here that there's a lot of things that I can't control because there is a possible invisible altar in here who is so upset with her lot and is just acting out the only way she knows how? I was raised and conditioned to serve, and as I get worse, the sense of failing everyone and at everything is just getting worse, and you said I can ask the others questions? How is this possible when all this is not real and just like a bad dream? The shame and guilt I feel for being like this just gets too much some days. Is there anything I can do to help myself because I've tried what I feel as everything mindfulness works, and all I get is overwhelmed and stuck and with no support then those bad thoughts start screaming at me and it's hard to ignore I want to live I really really want to live but in the past year I've tried 4 times to end it and I dont want to do it and I don't know how to help myself any further than I have as I have no other ideas
And yes sorry I did see it as being helpful I just got confused is all I love your videos thry are actually helping me I just get too scared to ask for more context
@morriganstempest4505 I don't think you're getting the adequate help and support you need here in this chat. If you're as suicidal as you say and are so overwhelmed, maybe you should go to the hospital to get yourself regulated a bit better. I wish you much strength and help.
The behavior has to be troublesome, not congruent with your desires, values, or intentions. If you are a logical person and you are doing illogical things, if you are an emotional person and you are being cold and calculating, and if you are an organized person and you are flaking out all over the place...your parts could be showing!
Fascinating! I'd always seen alters as 'others', but this shows them as just memories that have become disconnected from the main consciousness. I've always looked at these odd behaviors as 'that's not me', but this perspective is more a discovery of side branches to a main trunk of consciousness. Kind of like the quiet kid at the back of the classroom who one day starts raising his hand and saying, "Me! Me!" He's been there all along, just hasn't made his pressence known before. Memories are always there, just not necessarily wanting to be seen - until the main stream is ready. Thanks!
that was a great thought. that would explain a lot. thanks for this great contribution
My therapist ended the therapy because I wrote to her earlier under the influence of a destructive part that I would not continue the therapy. A few weeks later I contacted her, corrected myself in my decision and asked her if I could still come, if she would give me a second chance. She said no. I can't believe that she is supposed to be a trauma therapist and has expertise with DIS.
This hits me really hard to the worst time. I‘m totally speechless, sad and in a downward spiral.
That sounds really unfortunate, something like that should be thought through carefully with both involved.
And for good reason, I can't believe she did that... I'm so sorry for you.
It really feels like not many therapists really understood how these destructive, protective and scared parts can make us do things that can be seen as counterproductive for them and it is a shame.
We know that we're looking for help and we know we've got some of us scared enough to continue at times or even destructive, but for them, they are either unaware of this or tend to forget that even though we may appear as one being, the reality is totally different.
I stopped counting the number of times where I was doing something because "I" felt a certain way at a specific moment, and where I, not even half an hour later, felt like the opposite again. It can be so frustrating, and I can relate to your pain here. It may not be much coming from a complete stranger on the net, but you've been heard here.
I hope you'll find someone better suited for yourselves in the near future, and for what it's worth, here's a virtual hug 🫂
Please take care
I'm so sorry to hear that! Take care and don't lose hope and optimism. Not all therapists are like that, and I hope you will find another therapist.
So sorry for you!
time for all of 'you' to reflect.. actions have consequences..
Hi Dr. Lloyd. Thank you for sharing this information. Behavior + Curiosity = Resolution - that’s so helpful! Continuing to pray for your health.
Thanks for this video, it really highlights how extremely complex alters in OSDD/DID are. Thanks for this because I see how alters are a lot more related to self, so a being who isnt may not be an alter too. I really hope that people with OSDD/DID get more support worldwide... it's a very vulnerable situation to go through. Also wish you well!
OMG, this is so helpful. I am new to the idea we might be a system and am constantly confused by what is me, what is an alter I don't know or who isn't/ can't talk to me and what else might be going on. Thank you again and I hope you are getting enough rest and care
Glad it was helpful!
Been thinking of you! Great topic.. as always! ❤❤
Thank you!
Hope you are being held well as you sit in the space between diagnosis and surgery. Right there with you, breast cancer waiting on surgery date, knowing in about two weeks it will be surgery day. Really helps me keep coming back here when I would rather quit learning and worry needlessly.instead I imagine I will hear from a number of parts during this so why not see how much to evaluate as a result of this experience. If I can pay attention...but this helps me remember what to look for even in this giant bump in the road. I appreciate you.
Dear Dr Mike❤️ Would you please make a video on how each and every experience IS experienced by every part in the system? And the complications that come with each alter creating their own opinion on the matter at hand- and the internal conflict this fact creates?
I’ve talked to my therapist about this and concluded that this process of all the alters experiencing every single situation on the outside and having their own opinion on what to do/not to do is what makes decision making absolutely impossible- concerning anything. And to the outside we seem as someone who never gets anything done right, and who sway back and forth- when in reality it’s different alters wanting different things.
It’s really awful how this plays out in every decision making situation- ranging from what clothes to wear to who to marry.
I’m guessing it’s internal communication that’s the answer? But then we would do nothing but sit in meetings in our Dôme (headspace) and discuss what decisions to make…
I would love to hear your thoughts on this❤
I think something along these lines was done, but fine to redo and form some ideas again. Good topic idea!
Our reaction/comment/concern regarding your diagnosis is belated but nonetheless heartfelt - the news checked me out a bit and, despite many notes to remind me/us, it appears there is an 'invisible influence' in our system here about this subject. Seemed an appropriate time and place here considering the topic. Please add our energy to the significant good will and best wishes from online and no doubt in your familiar closer circles. You've helped us a great deal Dr. Lloyd - We wish you strength, health and victory! Warmest regards from the west coast of Canada 🍁
Hmmmmm, am gonna share this video with my partner/advocate. Hope you are doing well.
At any normal time, we would have completely agreed with this, until recently when we faced some life-changing events. With the cup spilling example, would like to add that we spent our life being aware that our trauma caused many, of what could be explained as a trauma response as a way to explain some of the behaviour, meaning we spilt lots of cups of tea and knocked things over. Until it became obvious that something was going wrong with the body. We recently had to go through being neurologically tested, as we have big symptoms. Our left side of the body failed the tests (our left leg did not reflex when hit with the hammer, plus it could not weigh bear). Our left hand also didn't reflex strongly when tapped with the hammer. The eyesight issues, plus a whole lot of other physical symptoms, had led to us now being tested and looking down the barrel of being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). The doctor said, "You must have been in huge amounts of pain, what took you so long to get help?". We pointed out that for a lot of our lives, everyone said it was all caused by trauma and we had to focus on the trauma.
Ultimately in an ideal world both the physical and the so-called mental, meaning trauma would be looked at equally, as we have had so much degeneration with this by leaving it for far too long (we also dissociate from pain as torture as a child) we are sicker than a non-trauma person would have been with the normal degeneration that happens with MS.
Really sorry to hear about your situation. We work on the basis that any possible medical explanation would have been ruled out, so this example is purely about a behaviour, not a symptom. We hope you will be ok.
OMG Hope you're doing ok.
@@ian-online Thank you, it is a frightening time while waiting for the diagnosis and still deteriorating.
Thanks again, Mike. Appreciate your work, as always.
I'm being more open about having dissociative symptoms and behaviors. This just made it easier to approach. I'm also learning for a character I've written to have DID/OSDD. Thank you.
I don’t know if I’m behind but I just wanted to wish you luck with your surgery and recovery, though I know you’ll recover quickly because of your positive and healthy heart. You care, and we care about you, blessings xoxo
❤❤❤❤❤ That helps me greatly. I hope you are taking great care with your health.
Very helpful! I am sure this will be quite useful throughout my days and weeks. In retrospect I can see this example in many areas of my/our life that we have managed to heal already 💪🏼😎
Thank you ❤ hope you're doing well, Mike 🙏🏼
Always love to see your videos while i work through getting diagnosed. My therapist is also aware of you and its very nice to be able to reference concepts in your videos and know she understands
Dear Dr Lloyd, you already look much healthier and fresher than in the last videos.
It is certainly good for you to know what is going on now and that the treatment starts now. good luck and strength.!
I can almost never make contact with any inner persons and I often don't understand my behaviour. What really annoys me is not going to bed at night and being awake until the early hours. It is difficult to distinguish whether I am simply weak-willed or lazy or already too tired or whether an inner person is actually responsible for this. I can't find an answer. But I keep asking.
Thanks for this, it’s dead helpful. Much gratitude as always for your generosity.
i hope you're well, doctor!
one of my parts uses a lot of your advice and information to self-help our system and she really loves this one. it confirmed something she theorized about but we also have ocd which can cause thoughts like this too. she loves to collect and organize information to be a strong protector and sustain our autonomy and your information is delivered in a way that makes her experiences feel real and like she's intelligent enough to use this information. it's not dumbed down. i just wanted to say thanks on her behalf.
an alter who takes a lot from cats is really good at catching things we drop before they spill or damage is done to anything. i mean like 99% catch rate. it's wild but it's sudden and if someone witnessed it i'd seem very jumpy or easily startled. but she's very useful for her gracefulness and these spatial awareness skills. the hardest part about accepting some of the weirder parts of DID, especially the influence of alters, is that those alters formed because of specific things and so have very different senses of self. it makes me a very eccentric person as a whole, but i'm starting to be more forgiving of that and accept it this year.
Extremely helpful discussion, as always. Thank you so much! 💖
You are so welcome!
Thank you for this excellent video! I have had something like this, happening seemingly at random every now and then during therapy sessions. It went on for years. And I thought it must be because I am just weird and stupid, because this behaviour was not by any known part. But just recently we found the part of us that does this, for reasons that make sense in the context of our past. And hopefully in the near future we can work with this part to resolve the underlying trauma. I would be relieved if this behaviour stopped.
That’s fantastic, I am so glad you got some insight on this!
HOW ARE YOU??? 💐🤗
Doing ok, thank you! I have treatment planned and scheduled, will update next weekend.
@@thectadclinicThank you for answering.
Wow, this means that you‘ve already made up your mind what kind of treatment you want and what you refuse (if you refuse any). With me/us, it took a bit more time.
Congratulations for making brave steps towards recovery! 🤗
❤@@thectadclinic
First, I’m so sorry you (the most genuine, giving and caring person) are suffering with this horrible health condition!! I truly and sincerely wish you the absolute best and that you miraculously recover fully and quickly!!!!
Second, and I feel so pathetic for saying anything given what you are dealing with (😣) I am in the US. I’d been diagnosed with cPTSD, major depression and severe anxiety disorder. 5 different therapists tried for 5 years to get me stable enough to utilize EMDR, but each one reached the conclusion that there was no help for me, I was treatment and drug resistant and I would have to find a way to deal with it. I knew that I couldn’t quit trying, otherwise there was no way I could continue to live that way.
Sorry, long story short, after trying 2 sessions of A.R.T. therapy that was a 3 hour drive one way from home….well it almost quite literally killed me. On my next visit I was tested and diagnosed with DID. Initially I thought‘there’s no way’. I mean, it made a lot of things make sense but I just couldn’t accept it. Until my adult daughters told me about meeting several “others” and it opened up a dialogue where I learned that I heard, felt and saw many things others don’t when I always assumed they did.
My problem is that apparently the others in my system hate me with a passion and refuse to communicate with me.
I’ve searched and used every resource I can find to get help with how to handle my losing days, sometimes weeks, receiving packages that I did not order or have the money to pay for. But I can’t find a single person in all of the US that will agree to work with me! My primary doctor doesn’t even know what it is and my latest “treatment center “ I was sent to flat out said that DID does not exist, I was just faking and/or hallucinating. But it’s gotten so bad, I’ve “come back” to the police knocking on my door and I have no idea what my body had done! I’ve lost all my friends and all of my family except my oldest (apparently my regularly appearing alters very much like-but they say nasty things about me to her and 1 in particular is always putting me down, I’ve become so clumsy I’ve torn all 4 ligaments in my left ankle, 2 in my right, broken my nose and both wrists and can’t count how many times I’ve come back covered in blood, panicking until I realize I have cuts all over myself. (I pray it’s all just my blood!)
I am at wits end!! I’m scared I’m going to hurt someone! I need help but I can’t find any!!
I would give anything to be able to go to your clinic, but I’m about to have my home taken away and I don’t own a car. I have nowhere to go and no way or money to get there…wherever “there” is.
Do you have any advice, suggestions, directions, anything that could help me???
I’m really sorry to be so selfish for asking for help when you have soooo much more important things to worry about! I’m just desperate, is the only excuse I have. 😢
In situations like this, I figure it's less helpful to ask where influence is necessarily coming from (unintended blame/shame), and more helpful to ask how we're all contributing to the problem (connection/accountability). (being in a system has sometimes made me think I might do well as a family therapist lol...)
Wow! That has really got me thinking. It's very close to home. I have FND, and with intensive physical therapy and FND psychoeducation, I am startng to recover a lot of gross motor abilities and mobility, but my hands are really lagging with recovery. This is especially true in the kitchen! I hadn't stopped to think there could be something else going on. Thanks for the insightful video!
Even with dissociation that is not severe enough to create alters, this makes sense for all complex trauma survivors. Why am I doing this behaviour that I don't understand or want? Curiosity without judgement is so powerful
Thank you Dr. Mike. Makes so much sense 💙👊
such an important thing to talk about
It's great to see you looking well, Doc! ❤
Thank you kindly
This is EXACTLY my problem. I used to think i was just crap a lot of things but finding out more and more this is not the case. Have not pinpointed exactly how it works yet but it is there.
Mine is generalised, except when it is not. I can do things one moment and not the next. Forcing myself to do the things that are problematic because i know i CAN do them causes serious backlash.
Thank you. We need to think about this!
This is great thank you! I have DID and I can’t seem to stop wanting to fleei from a relationship where I miss some clarity. Instead of voicing myself, I keep offering distance. It’s a behavior I cannot stop and somehow can’t seem to control what I say when I’m in this mode. As a kid I wasn’t looked to flee certain situations (e.g. caretaking a sick parent over a long time). Now, conversely, my flight mode doesn’t kick in when it should. And I can’t pinpoint any of my “known” alters when I’m in my mode to flee and offer distance. Could that be an alter that doesn’t like to communicate with me? I’m asking because when I’m like this, my entire reality shifts and it seems like the only logical solution. But as soon as I ask “who wants to flee?” The urge IMMEDIATELY disappears.
Same :c
The question is god idea
Hopefully, eventually, as you ask yourself/yourselves what they want to do, they may start to chime in more directly. That will maybe start to help you figure out who wants what & be able to align everyone's motivations.
I had only just started gaining the ability to communicate/coordinate with my parts, but then lost it after getting freaked out. Ot's been a solid few months of hollowness, but the influence is creeping back in, so... I hope to be able to reach where I was at & then some.
@@ZijnShayatanica thank you for sharing this! What you said actually helped me come to terms with my system going quiet.
I have an awesome therapist but one session he said „oh there are so many of you already“ in a positive tone, but my system has interpreted it as „there are too many of us“ and has stopped talking to me. Communication is slowly getting better again
@@visponvi I'm glad I could help! Hearing you had a similar experience has been validating for me, too... It's been easy to tell myself I was just making things up/being dramatic. But it seems like it's a fairly normal phenomenon for people with DID/OSDD to become connected or disconnected & for the internal relationships to go through phases. 🙂
I can see why your system might've gotten freaked out by that! Wishing you all the best. I'm starting therapy again after a hiatus after the overwhelm of my diagnosis a few months ago, so... Things should be looking up for me, too. 🤞
The behavior from the system members serves a purpose and is communication… that makes sense to us. That helps us look at this past weekend.
Read some of a book and can’t finish it. Triggered rly intense flashbacks. Then someone in here accused our parents of going out with someone who hurt us, another family member. Turns out days later we learned that was all a misunderstanding and never happened.
A big trauma wound for us is not feeling protected. And in those traumatic memories we weren’t. We know it was one of us that made that conflict happen. And the end result was that we learned we were protected and the past isn’t happening in the present.
Thank you so much. We wouldn’t have made sense of that unless we consumed this new information. We hope you’re doing ok and getting the support and treatment you need. You please do take great care too ❤
Thank you
Thank you for this. We deal with a lot of internal conflict, but we don’t know why. This causes paralysis for us most of the time. Too many alters work at cross-purposes, and it cripples us. Internal influence is extremely powerful. 💜
❤🎉 thank you.
Interesting - for us, the first thing we would do is assume that the mug is too high up, and put it lower down, and if it was generalised clumsiness, we'd consider if we have a physical reason for it first - eg. arthritis (I'm 62). I always look for a physical reason first because sometimes it just is, no matter what mental illness you have. Once that has been crossed out, then we go for the mental health issues. Sometimes though, it can be obvious that it's an internal thing so we don't bother with the physical perspective. And sometimes we get completely fooled. Just recently because of a physical issue, I got put on an estrogen IUD. It changed a lot of things mentally as well, and relieved some mental health issues. And these were issues that had caused trouble for decades. TL;DR when you have issues don't forget to consider if it may be a physical health issue.
Can invalidating your system cause everyone to Be afraid to talk, especially if that was Some thing abusers did often? I have child alters that hide when I pretend that they’re not real or think that they’re not real. I guess when thinking about strange behaviors could invalidation cause any of this kind of stuff to happen? It’s mainly something that happens with child alters.
Also, we truly hope you are doing well And think of you often! Sending lots of healing vibes your way , Thank you for all you do!
This makes a ton of sense. Thank you. 😊
We were researching our mental health for a few years before becoming aware, and then it's now been nearly a year since we were diagnosed with OSDD.
Thank you for all that you do and wishing you wellness and happiness. ♡☆
Thank you!
Thank you! What would you then say is the significant difference between an alter telling their story/trauma with using these behaviours as their "language" and what may be called a "Freudian mistake"? The unconciuos might be frightening as well, but in their own way.
Thank you so mutch for your videos, they are very helpful. Do you can explan the process of confrontation with alters? How does that works? And is it possible that one alter has a sickness and the host not?
This made up situation feels very familiar for us & in many situations! Thanks for this really helpful video. I have a sneaky suspicion it also shows up in fibromyalgia pain too. It explains why DIY sometimes feels easier than cooking dinner right now.
I've seen a psychologist who is part of ISSTD in the USA. They claimed I was delusional in thinking I'm a nine year old dismissing all the abuse I endured
Can’t wait to watch this!!!!
Can a "behavior" be a repetitive set of intrusive thoughts one becomes "addicted" to?
Our body is 4 ft 7 inches tall and have neuro-muscular issues (hand/wrists like to let go as we're carrying breakable items...we just got a script from an orthopaedist today for physical therapy and specifically mentioned the Dropsy thing)
We have to be very careful with tea mugs. VERY CAREFUL
Always take care with mugs (empty or otherwise!)
This is interesting
I cannot abide by bad smells in my home. It’s something that sets me off and makes me feel insane, as sometimes, bad smells (burnt food, blocked drain) happen
I was curious and with my therapist, one of my alters bought forward that the house we grew up in was not cared for and had a terrible smell. Parents were hoarders, there were cats etc
Anyway, got to the bottom of it and it is an interesting topic
I should mention that none of my alters have an issue with bad smells
I see. So you were answering someone else question. I have a qustion. I once saw a woman get hit by a car, someone next to me said they have problems. She looked like a young adult, but she wasnt on a croswalk and she was next to a parked car. I only saw that only once in my entire life in a first world country. What would that be called?
I or one part have had a lot of seizure-æike spasms. Not epileptic. So I use to drop things when I was stressed or close to trauma-experience. As an adult I can control it most of the times but it feels as if the connexion to the muscles come and go.
Hi Mike. Firstly, I'd like to say i hope you are doing ok under the circumstances and your upcoming hospital treatments ❤.
Secondly, in relation to the above video. I am currently struggling with someone/s (internal) moving my hospital letters from a draw that i keep them in, ready for my appointments, and they are also deleting the info from my backup on my mobile phone. Therefore, I'm missing critical appointments, which can be very detrimental to my health and wellbeing. I have tried saying to myself, " What would Mike say?" and i have also asked my alters of any knowledge around this. No one has come forward, but i know i put the letters in the draw and also took pictures on my phone as a backup. The only thing I'm getting back is that they don't believe us anyway. Meaning, that on my last visit to the hospital, my issues were immediately put down to fibromyalgia flare-ups although this issues had been going on for many years now. I know my body and know that this is not the case, but i can not pursue this if my appointments get missed. This is also distressing for me and my family due to recent serious health scares and hospital admissions. I'm at a loss on how to address this further to resolve the situation. Any insight would be gratefully received if this is appropriate.
Thank you, and take great care of yourself. ❤
I’m trying not to specifically connect this to breaking mugs, but it’s a challenge lol
I also have another question. Because my disorder is on a different spectrum though i have alters. Does OSDD/DID have the power to resist these things? Are they also impulses like mine or something else?
You are looking good 🤩
I had a question, not sure if this applies, but could this relate to compulsive behaviors (not related to ocd, but feeling like you need to do something without any idea why since we dont want to do it and it causes distress/discomfort, and usually cause flashbacks.) We often feel we're being taken over and our body is being controlled by something, but we never know who or what or why, and our attempts to resist the compulsive behavior has led to heavy dissociation where we cannot function and have to sleep and the dissociation only improves once the compulsion has been able to happen. Could this be related to invisible influences like what you explained?
Just to share my trauma came later in life over abandonment, by family friends and the medical field. All over my misdiagnosis of Lyme disease.
Im going to regret this as i always feel so much shame in asking anything but I must be a bit confused cause i didn’t understand any of this? Mind you, confusion and seizures are a daily occurrence now and with each seizure things make less sense but what exactly was this video about cause the question you were answering doesn't seem to be added to the video? Or it's my only two brain cells not rubbing together 😅 I am diagnosed as severely DID with a list of other stuff so DID, C-PSTD, BPD, ABC, 123 😂 and the list goes on however i do have one really serious question is there medication out there for ppl like me? Im just asking cause im the problem in our house and i would really like to shutdown the bad parts and to make me more normal and less embarrassing for my son and the reason of all of our marriage problems with my husband because my medical system has had the call put out for a psych for me but no one wants to work with me so im on my own and struggling so im wanting to know is there a medication or a few medications that can just shut me down since i cant get the help i need and having someone inside me constantly believing that to end our life is the only real option to make everyone happy to be free of me? I know im being selfish and only talking about myself here, and im really sorry yo only go on about myself. Ijust can't find any answers to any of my questions, and can DID get worse? And i also keep getting told im ASD and ADHD how on earth can that happen but im being blamed because my kids are ASD and ADHD with anxiety disorder, did i do that to them, did I by just existing harm my children?
I hope you get to understand, as my plan was it to be helpful! Think of it like an alter may influence a traumatic behaviour response without any part of the system knowing the alter is there. This can lead the person to think the behaviour is naturally there and feel bad because of it.
Thanks for your insight! Extremely helpful information!
Me and my husband are praying for you!
@thectadclinic so all the arguments I cause because I get so confused a lot is not my fault? I'm the one who has to say sorry all the time, so you're maybe saying here that there's a lot of things that I can't control because there is a possible invisible altar in here who is so upset with her lot and is just acting out the only way she knows how? I was raised and conditioned to serve, and as I get worse, the sense of failing everyone and at everything is just getting worse, and you said I can ask the others questions? How is this possible when all this is not real and just like a bad dream? The shame and guilt I feel for being like this just gets too much some days. Is there anything I can do to help myself because I've tried what I feel as everything mindfulness works, and all I get is overwhelmed and stuck and with no support then those bad thoughts start screaming at me and it's hard to ignore I want to live I really really want to live but in the past year I've tried 4 times to end it and I dont want to do it and I don't know how to help myself any further than I have as I have no other ideas
And yes sorry I did see it as being helpful I just got confused is all I love your videos thry are actually helping me I just get too scared to ask for more context
@morriganstempest4505
I don't think you're getting the adequate help and support you need here in this chat. If you're as suicidal as you say and are so overwhelmed, maybe you should go to the hospital to get yourself regulated a bit better. I wish you much strength and help.
Our prefered term is Headmates rather than Alters. We share the headspace like roomates share an apartment.
❤
The behavior has to be troublesome, not congruent with your desires, values, or intentions. If you are a logical person and you are doing illogical things, if you are an emotional person and you are being cold and calculating, and if you are an organized person and you are flaking out all over the place...your parts could be showing!