Frank James I. Get. Youuuu. (Or is it you get me? 🤔) P.S. Just found your channel and have 10 (cough 20) of your videos saved to watch P.P.S. OMG is OCD and INFJ trait?? (P.P.P.S. I felt the need to have 3 post scripts)
Hey Frank loving your content. I know you play guitar as do i and i'm a big Prince fan and i can see you love the Beatles as do i seeing your Strawberry Fields analysis (however you're wrong George is the best Beatle). Just wondering if you knew much Prince and could give input on him as i think he is the most classic INFJ artist if you look into him and his lyrics and maybe not the persona he projects. Two for starters would be Condition of the Heart and Tambourine, (Beatlesish) there are many more but if you're not a fan then no worries.
What if it is not a gentle kick but a very strong kick or blow on our reality and feeling... I can not except it.... Because they do not want to talk about it for a very long time even if I ask for a million times and blow up suddenly into my face..... How am I supposed to process or except it and I know that person is not INFJ like me..... Saying that I am being selfish when I am trying to be nice even if I just want to be alone and not talk to anyone, ever them.... Still I am because I think I have to because that is what that makes them happy even if it makes me miserable.... That person is not making me feel comfortable and I am afraid to talk about it because it may hurt their feelings..... They think I am shutting them out just because I feel I need some time and I try to push it but I some time want to feel fine just to be okay and not pressured....... I feel very pressured.......
Frank James What if an infj partner had compassion towards mother nature creatures and someone who is adventurous and kind to animals someone who is well mannered
I'm always like, "I feel so lonely, I need a boyfriend" but then when somebody displays even the slightest bit of interest on me, I go full on philosophising if I really want a boyfriend, why I'm lonely, the root cause of my loneliness, if I only like the idea of love, that it's not the perfect time etc etc
and then i remember that loving bts and yoongi is enough for me, then i shut down that person, and watch a bunch of bangtan videos, then i'll feel lonely again cuz probably i will never love a real person as much as i love them , and the cycle restart ( sorry i made it to a joke but it's partially true lol )
This is so true, and I love that description. My true self is extremely deeply introverted, but I have these moments where I can work a room, or have people thinking I'm bright and bubbly and outgoing.
Fear and Loathing! One my fav quotes! LMAO! 😎 (My other one was the psychology of normal speeders... "This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart. Make the bastard chase you! He WILL follow!" 🤣
Yes also as an INFP not J I gave too many chances in a extremely toxic marriage and in the end all of my youth is gone to someone who didn’t deserve my love. I’m just sad I didn’t leave earlier for my life and my children who also have life lasting trauma from it. Do I have a chance at a happy relationship in the future. I don’t know because I also think one minute how my very core person would love to love again but the next minute I think I will probably be happier alone.
As an INFJ, a scary thing about me(us?) is that I sometimes replay memories, (minority report style), find clues, pick up on things I didn't before... Out of no where... "WTF... that S.O.B!! So that's what he was trying to do!"
I think Frank mentions that in one video. Is like we pay a lot of attention on the little cues of somebody'Ss non-verbal language, for example. Try to understand the meaning of every little detail and there's just so much information that we simply don't cover it all. But we want to, and our brain goes that direction. So we end up (always) finding new info to meditate about. And the torture never stops...
AhhhhhHahahaa yes omg. I scour the backlogs to see if I missed something when I feel awful or confused about a situation. I have to say, I'm thinking now maybe that makes it worse. 😆 Maybe better to trust the immediate intution or interpretation rather than add to it later.
It's almost scary being an INFJ if you actually think about it, since we see so many patterns and small things that it's kind of hard to not see when a relationship is going downhill, and you just have to wait for it to happen because cutting someone off prematurely because of the possibility of getting hurt doesn't make sense to anyone else, and sometimes something small changes it all. It's like sitting in the same room as a time bomb that sometimes fixes itself just before the explosion
Exactly! The moment carefully chosen, the perfect moment, the opportunity presents itself and then you go BOOM! Very messy business, but rewarding outcomes. Ha ha ha!
Yup. I had to wait to break up with my ex bf, because I already knew it was gonna go downhill, it was torture and I don't want to deal with that again.
this is me now, I can feel my engagement going downhill but I am doing my best at waiting. Waiting for my fiance to give up so he won't get hurt so much and his relatives won't get hurt too by me. most of the times I say to myself I'm such a cold hearted b!+ch.. but I am also suffering everyday. I do hope that if it is really meant to end may the universe act on it fast. I'm so tiiired of tending someone else's emotions.
@@Yianiz im sorry that youre dealing with that :/ I don't know the situation, so I know this might not apply but just keep it in mind! Communication always makes it easier, even if it's really scary and draining. If you genuinely want to be with him, I think it's worth talking about and working out!! But if it's something that isn't working out for you, I hope it becomes much less of a burden to you soon. Lots of good luck and hugs
truthly, i can usually only ever get a decent guess at the very beginning. After that, i am very, very, lost. the small details i can find, putting them together, not really.
Bruh, ENTP here and you guys honestly scare me with your feels. It's a powerful and mystical thing that drives me crazy. I'm spending half my life in a dazed state because I don't know what the heck I'm feeling, and then one of you comes up to me, straightens me out, pats me on the head, and sticks a lollipop in my pocket that is the color of self awareness.
I think that I have what I call " the busy syndrome " that makes me always feel busy and don't have time to be in a relationship even if I'm spending my days just sitting in a corner listening to music 😂😂
That makes sense to me lol We're busy in our heads all the time! I have lists to make, planning to do, figuring out the meaning of life and why I'm here HA
The problem being introverted that there is no polite way to saying "i love you but I'm tired to being with you right now". I want someone can share my entire life with who will leave me alone sometimes when i recharge my energy.
You'd be surprised that a fair amount of people take that well. My partner is an INTJ and we LOVE our alone time. I think the first step is educating people in your life about introversion. All my friends know I love them, and I get to a point where I need to not be around people. Anyone. They understand
i find great strength in wording my hangout rejections with friends. it ISNT rude to say “no thank you, i don’t want to go to starbucks” it’s just honesty. some people feel offended because they add “with you” at the end, but it’s not the case and over time people recognize the kindness within that.
finding these infj videos has made me feel so much less alone in the world i've always thought something was wrong with me because it seemed like i didnt process things like others around me did or was too anxious and cautious about talking and just seeing these explanations and how others are the same makes me feel so good
I'm an INFJ and i'm a hopless romantic!!I imagine my future relationship as a movie,having deep feelings,getting flowers,kissing on the rain,talking for hours in a cafe... Is this an INFJ thing?
INFJs are all about WORTH. Whether it's relationships or material possessions. Quality, never quantity, is the number one concern in our decision to invest our time, energy, or money. This is why we don't like to be pressured into superficial friendships/socializing.
Exacty! I got fired from both little caesars and slim chickens for make too "high quality pizzas and desserts" i cared too much about the customer recognizing my 5 star cheese pizza im a quarter of a star restaurant! LMFAO!-
"Number 7: They'll always be able to pick up when you're lying or being deceptive." HELL YES. BUT SOMETIMES WE'LL IGNORE IT OR JUSTIFY IT IN OUR MIND, especially if we started really liking you.
One time I had a conversation with a girl at work who has a huge crush on me, I could easily spot her lies (saying stuff just to agree) but I ignored them because I knew she liked me lol
@@stevienguyen2047 same, but with a boy (he even told me he have a serious mental disorder just to get through something when he lies, forgetting I study psycology) and I just justified it for weeks just because he likes me
Is it justifying it though, or is it more like understanding? If you guys are identifying the thought pattern of this person and their reasons for lying, but you can still objectively know they are lying, isn't that understanding vs justifying? ENFP.
or we'll be in a relationship, and something slightly bad will happen and we'll calculate the success rate immediately, only to turn back to immediate never-ending love if something good happens with that relationship. ...or is this just me? lol.
I'm an ENFP that has been in a relationship with an INFJ for 17 years! I watch your videos because I am endlessly fascinated by my husband and after all these years I am still learning and navigating the strange and deep waters of that type! I want to tell you INFJ's out there that are looking for a meaningful relationship that it's ok to be a little bit picky (but be patient and give people a chance to get to know you). There are people out there that will love and appreciate your uniqueness, and embrace all your weird and quirky ways. That introverted intuition is simply magnetic and the way you care and give so much of yourselves is not taken for granted. My INFJ is my rock and earthly guardian angel. We have our difficult times but we learn to communicate and forgive and fight on the same team. So my advice to you INFJ's is, find someone that will challenge you a bit (sometimes you need a little push out of your shells), but still accepts you for who you are at the end of the day. You are perfect the way you are!
Haha i am an INFJ dating an ENFP for nearly 6 years now! It is amazing how our opposites balance out. It was really rocky the first two years dating but noe it is the best thing i could ever hope for. Congrats on 17 years
I am an ENFP who’s is about to get back together with my ex who is an INFJ! I have so much hope for this relationship! We seem to be two sides to the same coin! I am also very fascinated and intrigued by her! I’m excited for the future!
Note: Understand that an INFJ (female at least) wants someone to LEARN her as much as they want to LEARN you. This has always been a problem in my previous relationships. I'd spend all this time wanting to understand how their mind works, what their body language means, their tiny little cues, etc. I've never once met someone who have even half the cares or depth, which always ends up disappointing -_-
You just articulated what I went thru this week. A male friend made a silly comment and I spent the weekend analyzing how little he knew of me (in 5 months) to make such an insane implication about me. I blocked him without notice. But yeah, I was disappointed that he barely took time to learn about me just as I was learning about him. And that's what I desire, someone to learn me and understand me just as I do them (albeit they'll do it to lesser degree than my INFJ self)
1. It’s difficult for a man to understand a woman to begin with. Donovan Sharpe and Greg Adams come closest, but they’re very cynical. 2. Throw in INFJ characteristics in, and it becomes even more difficult. I’ve been studying infj channels a lot, and I’m not sure I’m at 100% speed (I’m an INTP), but I have some better understanding. But I also know that genetic, subconscious, hypergamous female nature runs underneath the INFJ consciousness stack. Fundamentally, we guys have to account for two distinct, opposite personalities that can come out at any time, including possible fits or irrational anger. With INFJ ladies, this duality gets even more polarized, and I’ve noticed that sigma INFJ’s can have a horrendous temper. 3. TLDR: We can’t know who you are, because you don’t even _really_ know who you’ll be at a given moment.
omfg stop this is soo accurate. my boyfriend is bad at communicating his thoughts and feelings and it triggers me so much but i am always trying so hard to ask him things or describing him things in such a way that he understands and responds to me the way i expect him to but nah. it's exhausting tbh and i'm done asking him things in a fun or elaborative manner.
Ian McLaughlin You’re INFJ but you prefer PDA? Interesting! I would have thought it was more of an INFP thing. I’m INFP & sometimes think I might like the attention. But i later regret things i thought i’d enjoy attention for. I was looking at differences between INFP and INFJ, because recent tests put me into INFP but previously was also routed to INFJ. But I think i am an INFJ-wannabe. I like INFJs but I’m always scared that the few INFJ peeps that I like to be around don’t really like to be around me. INFJs are very aware of their environment and it is really nice.
Dude, that whole projecting into the future bit was right on. Sometimes I'm like wtf am i doing? All she did was smile at me and there is no way i should be imagining what type of a wedding she would like. Insane.
Timestamps: 1) @0:29 if you're looking for a temporary romance with them they wont even bother 2) @1:15 they sometimes forget to take care of themselves 3) @1:43 theyll always be thinking of the next fun date 4)@2:46 ppl who like labels and designer things are offputting to INFJs 5) @4:03 INFJs can be loyal to a fault/door slam 6) @4:27 INFJs can be very strange ppl 7) @4:58 they can always pick up on when you're lying or being deceptive 8) @6:11 INFJs love to help ppl especially someone they're dating 9) @6:26 sometimes it's hard for INFJs to open up 10) @7:12 they dont enjoy PDA 11) @7:43 never pressure them to socialize and make more friends 12) @8:42 they are extremely future oriented especially in relationships 13) @9:30 INFJs can be easily affected to the energy around them 14) @10:02 they will rarely initiate anything 15) @11:15 if it seems like they're off in a different world its because they are 16) @11:32 theyll always be down to listen to what you have to say
So...anyone get weary when your BS meter is pingin' and everyone else is like " wow.. you're harsh, you're negative, you're judgemental"! Then...boom!..it becomes apparent your intuition was spot on and the same people say "omg...who knew that person was so evil & manipulative??!". "Slowly raises hand* ✋ -sigh-
YES. I can spot a snake in the grass a mile away. But you gotta keep it to yourself and keep your powder dry. Unless someone asks who will genuinely listen or you can ask pointed questions to get others to come to the same conclusions / awareness. I also remind myself that my intuition is only intuition and can be wrong. So I keep an open mind, know my impressions are only impressions and might need more data and proof, etc etc. but I stay wary and alert. I guess the lesson is to know ones instincts could be incorrect but that doesn't mean we should dismiss them. Our b.s. detectors are very valuable. Stay open mind as is practical, but also stay alert, wary and don't forget what you've noticed and picked up on. I feel like INFJs are the detectives of the world and social situations.
Amen! Still waiting for my kids to WAKE THE F UP! I have been wearing the scapegoat label and the negative label for my whole life. But no more! Not now that I know what this fellow has exposed. I am so grateful to him!
There are way too many times I could’ve stated “told you so!”, but chose not to say anything and be taken as that kind of an asshat. Even though I was right, I’m certain it would not have flown over well. I used to call it Brainy Smurf moments.
I laughed out loud at this because it's so true. At 54 I've given up trying to be "normal". I just flat out tell people ahead of time I'm an oddball. Some people really seem to enjoy it, though. I think because at this point in my life I'm not being forced to fit into spaces that don't work, with people that don't mesh, so I'm free to find others who appreciate my weirdness.
The whole us not being able to open up is so frustrating at times. I want people to understand me better but then I feel like I'm saying too much and then possibly creating a detrimental image of myself. And even so there's other reasons for holding back that I don't even understand. Even with close friends I'll hold back at times. Its very contradictive.
Omg I so agree with you.. It's insanely frustrating. Just like you said, I want to open up, but when I do, I want to get all of that back afterward because to me it feels like it's still not what I wanted to express. It's like I can't catch the whole essence of myself to express to other people. And when I share little snippets, people don't get the entire picture and I can feel them getting the wrong idea about me
me too. I recently opened up to someone after a looong time of not doing that and it sure backfired and they judged and rejected me and got the wrong idea about me apparently because i couldn't properly capture the essence of myself to show them. it's been a big mess. and I keep thinking they wouldn't even know any of this and be able to judge me based on it if I hadn't told them. they would have gone on thinking I was just like their original perception of me. I'm my own worst enemy. I had hope they'd understand or want to be around to learn more but I scared them off with the depth and complexity of my emotions and thoughts, I guess. too intense, too much for others. I'd rather be alone than keep going through this kind of stuff over and over again. it's too hard and too draining and just reconfirms my fears.
I agree this is true I feel like we just have so much to say when we do open up it just doesn’t come out right. Sometimes certain words can’t even describe what we feel or think in the moment so it comes out wrong.
And this is why the ENFP is the INFJ’s perfect match because all of these points actually feel quite naturally complementary to me. They balance each other out in some areas and they’re both so invested and generous with their affection that they keep each other from getting burned out. The energy thing as well: ENFPs are often bubbly and uplifting, but interestingly are the most introverted of the extroverts and need to be alone to unwind. Man, the more I learn about INFJs, the more I see how an INFJ is exactly the kind of person I can easily fall in love with.
...Yeah. thats... oddly not surpriseing. Probably cause i've allways figured that when your LOOKING for love you will find it absolutely nowhere. Once you finally lost ALL hope of finding it, you find yourself in a void staring at that one person you used to be looking for. Uggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
“They sometimes forget to take care of themselves” Me an injf: packing because I move tomorrow, just got off of work, has a cold, has to go to other job in a hour, Eats one meal a day, and has not been able to wash my hair....I’ll get it together it’s fine lol
Oh, honey, I am 68 and am now just learning what I thought was wrong with me by other people's observations if NOT wrong with me but very right, thanks to this website! Please, please, invest in yourself! Take care of you! Down the road, way down the road, at my age, I am just learning the value of that and today strengthened my knowledge of myself so I can make better plans to care for myself. I live alone now and really enjoy my freedom! I paint!
It's 4am, I made 3 meals this evening: We're going vegan soon, I made vegan nachos. I took them out of the oven and realized I would need to make more food to feed 3 boys. I made sloppy Joe's and tater tots to help get rid of existing animal products. My youngest doesn't like Sloppy Joe's, so he had Mac and cheese. We binged the Mandalorian and I wrote 17 pages in my journal with a five page to do list. It is 4am and I'm finally eating a few biscuits I made for breakfast tomorrow morning. I was super hungry. I do this several times a week and do not even notice because "busy". My body is screaming.
Yeah, but that happens to me too, and I'm an Infp. And that "barely hanging on" often gives me an Adrenalin-rush. And I always thought that chaotic energy was an infp thing.
I’m an INTJ engaged to an INFJ. We only dated 2 weekends and then we moved together! Since the first date we were talking about future, making plans, designing the ideal bathroom 🤷🏻♀️ and everything went according to the plan! INFJs are pure treasure!
"The Door Fling Wide Open to a Stranger" is quite possibly the best thing I've ever heard. 😂 I'm glad you addressed that because it's one area where I've felt like I was dichotomous. On one hand I don't tend to trust people very easily and keep a lot to myself. But then randomly I'll meet one person I click with and vomit the entire contents of my brain onto their lap. I haven't really seen any other INFJs mention this being a thing.
Totally agree! I feel like this could be a whole separate video and I thought it was just me (versus an INFJ thing)! I think we sometimes click with someone on such an energetic level that we act in a complete opposite way towards that person than we normally do with others (in terms of being really open immediately with one specific person). I’ve never been able to explain why!
Yeah,. An infp and one of my close friends is an Infj. The first time I saw her, I just somehow knew I'd like her and we clicked and became friends almost immediately. Then the next day she called me crying and told me her whole life story. I didn't mind since I like listening to people and helping them, but it was a little overwhelming tbh. Also, sometimes I get scared you guys will hurt yourselves and never tell your friends because you don't want to "bother" them :/
Also, how come sometimes Infj hide everything, even from their best friends? Like, my best friend is and Infj(most of my friends are), but she never told me she was being hurt until years later. Kinda scared me tbh. All I want to do is help. Any advice?
Let's just invade into a Swedish village near the forest and make our own country full of INFJs. Lmao, I can imagine us 24/7 examining each other like lizards.
YES, forever martyring myself and then becoming resentful when nobody does it for me. I don't understand it at all and it just makes me think they don't care for me the way I care for them, and then I get REALLY petty and decide to punish them by refusing to help at a time when they really need it. Which is stupid, because I don't even get any satisfaction out of it! I just end up suffering more because their plight bothers my Fe!!!
I’m at the point in life that I am comfortable in my own skin FINALLY. So I need deep intimacy, intelligent conversations and emotional vibrancy. Without it, I will continue on my journey solo.
Infj here! Always was a late bloomer, had my first kiss at age 23 because as a young girl I always imagined it would happen with a certain atmosphere including me being under a starry night sky. Everytime there was a potential first kiss coming but not under my pictured setting, I blocked it at all costs, and never did anything to influence the setting to my taste, I just somehow believed it would magically happen. Eventually got my wish. My first kiss was outside during a breezy night, under a beautiful starry sky and all. Worth it? Yes! Now I have already pictured my first time on my wedding night, how I would be carried by my man, how it will all go down and some other tmi details. Guess who's still a 33 year old virgin lol.
Omfg I think the same 😂😂😂 I also think of a kiss in a certain setting with a certain mood lol 😂😂😂 and I know when the other wants to kiss and want to prevent it if it's not the perfect setting I had imagined.... same for when I'll get proposed... kinda weird if you think about it 😂
One of the things I've realized, in dating, is that my intuition is usually spot on. I think the biggest reason for me, personally, that I've door slammed another person, is that Ive given someone the benefit of the doubt against my intuition and allowed myself to ignore a lie. Then, I become angry with myself and it becomes this entire inner turmoil, that results in blocked numbers and me never really explaining to them what they did to cause it all. I just disappear, for "no reason," in their eyes. In reality, it's usually a really large reason, that they're just not aware I have any idea about. Such is life. Dating is hard.
UGH- how many times I have had people say that I pulled back for “no reason”- there is always a reason, and normally a series of them that leads up to the ultimate door slam. Even when I have used all the eloquence and clarity I can muster to explain to someone why I left or need to leave, they still don’t get it, and write it off as being for some other reason that’s more convenient for their worldview. Dating is, in a word, ridiculous. Most of the time.
I have also experienced something similar. While I typically trust my intuition in my day-to-day life, I find it particularly difficult to trust my intuition in a romantic relationship context. For me, I think this is a result of being involved in an abusive romantic relationship where "gaslighting" was used quite frequently by ex. Essentially, I was manipulated enough to where I could not trust my intuition and I have since found it to be really hard to trust my intuition in these kind of contexts. However, being self aware is key. I've found it helpful to confide in friends when these conflicting emotions arise.
So then why don't you explain this huge reason to the other person? Understanding would help both of you with the pain, I'd think. (Just happened to me with my ex best infj friend - refuses to give me at least a reason to help me grow (I'm an ENFP and would for sure be willing to change negative behaviour) and continues to live in her own self-defensive wold) I realize this may sound offending to you, I'm sorry, that wasn't my intention :D
When a guy has gained my trust enough, if I start to catch feelings and start seeing him as a potential partner, I drop itty bitty little hints that go unnoticed and proceed to silently stress and make myself sick for the next year about being too forward.
Make sure you tell him that and show it. It will go a long way. We often feel unappreciated. We will literally die to defend those we love and are close to us.
it is so weird, I just recently discovered that I'm an INFJ and before that I've spent YEARS to get to know myself and understand my personality, questioning why I'm behaving the way i do sometimes and this dude describes me within 12 minutes. it is uncomfortably comforting how on point this video is
The "door fling wide open" for me is a sign that I like someone. Because I don't open up to just anyone, if I opened up to a person, then that means I chose that person. And energyyyy. I get easily dragged by a person's energy, especially if I really liked that person because I'm usually hyperaware of the person.
@@saying... Three psychopathic husband all acted wonderful and in love with me and then the second you are alone with them, WHAMY! Don't like hurting folks but then the toxic ones have NO FEELINGS. I have had to wrap my head around that and it took me years. But now I understand and yes, all have been shut off!
Dude, your videos are like the monologue in my head. It's surreal. I was laughing out loud at times during this video recalling some of these exact situations in my own life. What a mess... hahaha. Oh well. The videos are great!
Brandon Johnson isn't it strange? I just stumbled on these the other day and most of the videos I'm laughing at the almost scary reflection of my life in what he's talking about. Very cool to not feel like you're a total basket case for once lol
I would add to the INFJ becomes more of a shell in a relationship if the other person doesn’t give a compelling reason for the INFJ to continue being open or doesn’t provide a sense of security/safety or share a vision of the future etc. I suppose those are all tall orders. Just my take!
As a Catholic INFJ, I can see being a nun as a good vocation. 😊 Lots of time to meditate, highly planned life with a strong chance of the to-do list being done, with a strong purpose in accord with my beliefs.
Infj female here- almost became a nun…would have excelled at it except I couldn’t serve a corrupt hierarchy. Nope nope nope..would never work. Ideally, what you think is a nuns life sounds right up one’s alley, but seeing what you’re actually dealing with, it’s a whole different ballgame. The meditation time is dictated by someone else. It is not dictated by when you want or feel the need to meditate. High stress levels from superiors, especially if they want you to lie or cover up some sort of wrong-doing by higher-ups. You MUST obey, or get disciplined or kicked out. A good religious would speak out in a loving way, put their neck on the line. But that sort wouldn’t ever be admitted now a days or last long anyways.
Sorry that’s been your experience, but I don’t think there’s corruption in every monastery. Leadership varies from place to place. But yeah it’s expected that your life is dictated by someone else. If you life in cloistered life that’s kinda what you sign up for.
I used to idealize my love interests too much. Now I cannot stand anyone. I am in a phase that I don’t want to be intimate with anyone. As I got older It becomes very hard for me to get new people in my life.
kiritik ditto....so many people are toxic to me....I have been the door mat....played the fool.....I am not a saint....had a colorful past-I think I am unusual for even one of us INFJs I was the smoker in high school hanging out with those on track for prison, but in AP classes....shit-I’m a female Lip from Shameless in the form of a female INFJ....🙄
TH-cam Veterinarian i didn’t hang out with extremely bad influences in HS but for whatever reason I did always want to be a part of “that” crowd. However, my friend group then still had a bad influence on me as I began skipping classes a lot and ultimately had to go to summer school to make up for the year. Idk it’s weird but I think INFJ’s are fascinated by bad people lol. At least I am, I tend to be fascinated by those certain types of people who have that “no fucks given” mentality and they just seem so confident and do whatever they want. My best friend back then was introverted but she seemed to have a bit of that attitude which really made me admire her. Sadly her and most of my friend group turned out to be manipulative and narcissistic
Ginger Ann im an INFJ too and I feel that I am similar to you. It’s like I want to be bad even though I’m too emotional and high moral for me to be that lol. Idk if that’s how it is for you. But I usually become fascinated by those types of people who seem really confident and look like they don’t give a fuck about what anyone thinks of them. They usually tend to be troublesome though and when I’ve gotten in trouble in the past it’s usually because I was around those types of people lol
When it comes to a relationship I want a true bond and companionship and love, I don't want casual relationships or hook ups. I truly desire love and a life long relationship with the same person And I feel strange, I don't like alcohol, I don't like clubbing or parties. I am a novelist so I'm never not thinking about stories I'm coming up with.
You are me, like seriously, these are exactly my thoughts and I'm just so lost and... Never had a boyfriend or even a first kiss with 22 because I feel like it has to be special
@@korneliakaracs9816 That's a stupid advice. What should I do? Jump on the next guy I see on the street? Never read something so stupid. I want my partner to meet my high expectations. And if that's not possible, then I'd rather be alone forever
Same here. I also hate skimpy clothing and swearing. My moral standards are too much for most people that I don't have the energy to even try to look for friends.
I've been labeled as a player, and yet after all my break ups, I end upset and the person who leaves, ends up with someone else soon while I'm doing inner work and healing. It sucks being a hopeless romantic too. What a curse! I just got out of a "situation ship" with someone who told me that she'd destroy me if she couldn't have me. That really scared me and made me feel like an object!
I think our disinterest in PDA comes from the fact that when we're affectionate we're giving all of our senses to that other person. Doing so in public takes away from us being able to watch/read everything else around us.
Ugh. One of the reasons people say "I'm slow" and have a hard time to get up in the morning. But if I run and pray in the morning, it helps me get up and be ready for anything!
I feel the door swing wide open is because some of us are social scientists at heart. We try weird stuff and see the reaction in people. When we're done with the experiment, we kind of check the results. If people like it, is like a jackpot for us. If they don't, then we shell. And since we've the BS detector, it's very accurate and we know it. In my case, it happens when I'm in a good mood and feeling adventurous, perhaps my batteries are at full
Omg, I do the same! I am so curious about other ppls reaction. It shows me, who is actually thinking and who can react appropriatly or at least if they recognize what i am doing 🤩
If I say something off the wall and they don't respond, I know they are not of my tribe. If they go along with the 'skit' I'm like, You're my best friend forever, forever, forever...
I have trouble when I get mixed results and im like bouncing back and forth from my shell, not sure if the person is worth it or I just need more time to assess. Anyone else get like this?
You are so dead on man..Laughing and laughing...Discovered I was an infj after taking test..Turning 50 in September damn I wished I would of known this in my twenties!
I almost never comment, but I'm finding it irresistable not to as of recent. This really is an INFJ forum, and it's comfortable here. Frank James, thank you for being our people- I've had a crush on you for ages.
"We've got this crazy good imaginations that are better than the real world wich is probably why you'll end up leaving us." I can relate to that. I've lost three intimate long term relationships because of that. I was even diagnosed with maladaptive daydreaming.
I thought I was the only psycho that gets more distant as time goes on... what the hell IS THAT? There's kind of a freedom in recognizing personality type tendencies in ourselves. Reading more about my type, watching videos such as yours, and developing a deeper understanding of the things that I do is the first step in working on what I don't necessarily love. As a fellow INFJ, it's important to me to let you know your videos are helpful. The subtle hilarity is appreciated, too.
"Go easy on me, love. My heart is fragile when it's you. And it has always been you(the one who breaks, rips my heart). You are my peace but you're also a war, my shelter also a storm, my light also a darkness. Love, I will be of the opinion that we will endure thru', together... "I have loved you and did not cheat you once; even in my thoughts..." Mr.INTP, don't make me regret, please! -Your's INFJ
Frank, you are awfully self-aware for someone who struggles with anxiety and esteem issues. Makes you think that self-awareness is just the first step/foundation vs. the solution.
I’ve known of a few INFJ-INFJ couples. I think it has the potential to work (just like any combination) but in my opinion it’s best to date a type other than your own.
Why do we need friends though? I understand we are social creatures but it sometimes can be really tiring to try and keep a friendship or make it grow.
You don't need a ton of friends but I think you at least need one or two. Now, how much interaction do you need with your friends? That's up to you. Once a day? Once a week? Once a month? I think that's where your own preferences and energy level come into play.
When I first started hanging out here, I thought I was an INJF because I tested that way. But after super analyzing all of my functions, I’ve finally figured out that I’m an INFP. And I just want to say that INFJ or INFP, you are my people now and I just can’t quit you.
As an INFJ, I broke up with my first boyfriend for the sole purpose of him wanting to keep our relationship a secret. I just don’t get the point if no one knows.
"INFJ Door Fling Wide Open to a Stranger." Ha! I've done that. It goes without regret. That stranger can leave me. I don't care, we didn't have a connection. But I was able to speak my mind to someone without all the barriers I put in place for others who never break them down.
I am an INFP (on the F/J fence, though) in love with an INFJ woman who's also been my best friend for years. I've never valued and cherished a person more in my life. She had no idea I loved her until I flatout told her (she said "your subtlety and thoughtfulness sometimes boggles my mind, because you express yourself so bluntly otherwise"). Our friendship over time actually grew stronger, as we changed and matured alongside each other. I am her biggest supporter and sometimes harshest critic. But I would never allow myself to lose her, and continue to make a great effort to understand her better. Whether we will become partners, time will tell, but all that matters to me, is that she is a part of my life. She's inspired me to be a better man, and I will always be loyal to her.
heyy, I know that it's been a year now, but also as INFJ, I'm really curious how is it going for you guys ? It really sound like you're an amazing friend for her , so I just wish you all the best!
@@angee7024 Thank you. It did not go well. She elected to withdraw from me, unable or unwilling to communicate with me in a clear and direct manner. She also broke my trust. In hindsight, I'm glad I told her and regret nothing. It took the blinders from my eyes. I have had time to heal from this rather painful experience. In fact, it might've been best for both of us. When things fall apart, sometimes they need to, so that a better alignment can be established elsewhere.
@@ConcaCon ooh I see and I'm really sorry that it happened in that way :/ I hope you 'll be able to move on and just as you wrote, something even better may wait for you around the corner Wish you all the best !
I can 100% relate to the thing about pretty much completely opening up to new people, but then being distant to people who I’ve known for a long time. To me I think about it as almost trying to keep up an image to people who I’ve known for a long time. This is why I struggle to open up with my friends about how I am extremely depressed and desperately need help.
My twin sister and I are both INFJ's, and when we need to "recharge" but don't want to be alone, we have an anti-social social day together that involves very little talking and mostly just... being. I love anti-social social time; it's the best! 😊
My relationship as an infp with my infj friends be like: Me: I care for you Them: I CARE FOR YOU MORE Me: I LOVE YOU AND SUPPORT YOU Them: I WOULD LITERALLY DIE FOR YOU Me: I WOULD DIE FOR YOU FIRST *Both screaming*
It is true, I feel like my energy is being sucked up as the relationship deepens, and now I tend to just want to be by myself and gain it back, getting tired of talking and explaining myself, not good. This is why they can never understand us. We just are.
Exactly!! .. im always absorbing other people energy and when im dating someone, its always tight to me.. like my wild spirit was traped.. pardon my english :D
I’m INFJ and I love PDA. From my significant other. Actually, I just love affection in general from them. Everyone else don’t touch me. To clarify: holding hands, touching as we pass, hugs, forehead kisses, sweet meaningful kisses.. Not being fondled or made out with 😖 although, a random butt grab ever so often makes me blush in a good way lol 😳
Same, im so comfortable with my hubby and i have no problem to even cuddle in public (not in a weird way 😅) but ive always hated to touch (or be touched by) another ppl, even family members 😲
I'm absolutely the same way as an INFJ. If it's the person I'm in love with, everything you wrote. Everyone else if they so much as tap my leg or shoulder to get my attention I've jumped and it feels like an electric shock. Even with my family I'm not very physically affectionate at all. At most I do the one armed hug. lol I don't even know why. I love my family...but it's different...somehow.
Yeah. Re PDA: I love doing it, but its understated and subtle like hooking my finger around his pinky; for me this is an expression of intense emotion and I can do it anywhere in front of anyone
As a INFJ myself I've always felt weird but proud of being able to analyze someone in a split second. I honestly cannot imagine myself without being able to think the way I do, I use it so much to direct conversations, and to make the person I'm talking to feel as comfortable as possible. I've felt weird at times because whenever I explain my thought process I actually realize how intricate and how complicated my thought process is. Which is both cool and also makes my head hurt at times.
It’s amazing how we are the most outgoing, loopy, adventurous and laidback relationship types ONCE a person passes our trust test. They don’t pay attention to our blunt, subtle or hidden secretive ways to reveal what we want and need, SO why share our authenticity? It’s no wonder others move on. They either obsessively love us, or, just aren’t into us- yet know we are very special and deserving. Meanwhile, we don’t show any response while they walk away. We can shrug 🤷♀️ our shoulders and say, “okay. Bye” and easily move on, which in turn pisses some off. They spiral into drama mode, to prove to others and themselves we were the cause, or the weird one...trying to get some type of reaction out of us to validate their delusions & lies. It’s definitely on my list of “something a guy should know before dating me. I will bow out gracefully and it will be as if I never existed.” Crickets 🦗 crickets 🦗
As a fellow INFJ, I have come to notice that our sense of purpose is the be all and end all for every aspect of our lives. I have always gravitated toward people who are broken or need a crutch and vice versa. With that being said, I view myself in that same category. I find myself broken in my own way; feelings of disembodiment and this deep-rooted sense of not belonging, it's like I question my own sanity. We need someone we can connect with and who can understand us. We need to create a vision of a successful relationship before just diving into one. There's so much we need to recognize about ourselves before we even begin to mesh with another soul. I feel like an INFJ would be most compatible with another INFJ. There is no need for a mask. The emotions would be raw and authentic and that's something we crave and what gives us a sense of satisfaction.
"we'll martyr ourselves for you and then wonder why you don't give the same treatment back to us" sounds so ridiculous put simply like this, but this is exactly why a few of my past friendships went downhill ^^"
Just find an FP they will do that for you or even ,, excessively"" lmao :) also I think when, when they don't get their whatever affection or care back they don't resent anyone or revenge. they just tell you : " felt this and that when this and that happened on saturday december 12 1999 LMAO :D but seriously".
I found out 8 years ago that I score as an infj and I found it to be one of the most liberating things I've ever experienced. I love these communities where we can get together and feel NORMAL with other infj company. I also have many infj friends in real life which helps a lot, too. Thank you for creating this space. I think you do it very well and you are a gifted communicator/teacher (go figure). I also really enjoy the glimpses of your humor that you throw in at times. It reminds me of myself and it always makes me genuinely laugh. Thanks, Frank, for doing all of this research and making these videos for us. Ps, I know you did a book rec in another video so I wanted to give you another recommendation... it's called The Spell of the Sensuous. Maybe you've already read it. I found it really beautiful and inspiring.
right lmao. I was like why they hell am I like this and started thinking I had autism or something for a sec but now I know that I belong to the most legendary type I finally love myself and all my little quirks haha
About #4 - I think there's a lot more to this point than just being "anti-designer" or "anti-money." The main turnoff is when people use their high-quality stuff to justify treating other people like dirt. It goes along the same lines of being rude to waiters or custodians (big red flag!!). If a person owns nice items and appreciates high-end things simply for the quality, I respect that. If a person constantly looks down on other people because they don't have name-brand items, then I will assume that that person's affection/commitment is fickle and I won't invest any further in that relationship. In addition to being excellent bs-detectors we're also decent a**hole-detectors, too!
My oldest brother and I are both infj . Fully agree on the name brand , nice things point. We're both very particular about how we look and dress also about having certain things. Beauty and harmony is very important to us both and also quality....but to be around someone who only talks about money or material things is pretty unbearable.
This might sound weird but I've been wondering about infj's and animals. Is it just me, or are we magnets for pets and wild-life? Cause I feel like I am...and that could be one that got left out in the cold, shivering in the freezing rain. Open the door and let the poor cat in.
Space Cat - I have noticed the same thing! Animals and also young children seem to gravitate towards us. Very noticeable with dogs, cats and children- whether you like it or not! My friends tease me because this happens when we are out and about. I think that we emit a safe, calming energy.
Well the other day a huge pigeon took a massive shit on a table I have on my apartment balcony, so it seems you might be correct about INFJs attracting wild-life. =)
Space cat- love the name ! Yes I agree. All my life especially animals who are not particularly friendly but there they are, hanging out with me , even wanting to snuggle or stare into my eyes. I love it!!
Kristian Jensen I'm sorry I laughed, it's only funny when it's not yourself. Ever wonder why when for instance a fox happens across your property and relieves itself it's just called skat. But when a neighbour's dog/cat, or a giant bird lands a burger on your balcony/yard it's called a "shit"? Like why can wildlife get away with it, it's socially appropriate to say skat, but shit????, oh no you didn't just do that? Edit: Scat is apparently the correct spelling, I prefer it with a k, less cat like. You decide.
We generally aren't very PC where I live, so a shit is called a shit regardless of the source being wildlife, domesticated animals, people, babies... fish too I guess? At any rate, I laughed a bit when I saw the misdeed, imagining to myself just how constipated the pigeon would have been for it to explode like that. Come to think of it, there were also feathers all over the place so maybe it did explode in the literal sense of the word.
im infp and i relate to a lot of these, not ones centered around extraverted feeling - the sensitive bs detector -imagining myself surrounded by nice things -long time to open up, or open up to a stranger -door slam -encouragement to socialize -projecting into future -can sense others feelings (not feel what you feel) -listen well to understand everything about you
@@WynneL Definitely overlap! Thanks for bringing me back to this video! It's cool to see a window into my thoughts 2 years ago haha. I've found that I do have extraverted feeling around my boyfriend (all over the spectrum healthy and unhealthy emotional expression), but no one else. Maybe youve experienced something similar?
Awww.... Frank James,....... Your so adorably cute!!! (I’m a female INFJ, btw.....). 😊🦋🧚♀️. It’s so nice to see another kind, sensitive soul, - just like myself, - also out there, in the world too somewhere...... We need more INFJ’s in the world, for the world........ 💖
🔴 Here's another video you'll like: Unhealthy INFJ: 7 Signs You're an Unhealthy INFJ th-cam.com/video/AwATt5_nXNM/w-d-xo.html ⭐
Frank James I. Get. Youuuu. (Or is it you get me? 🤔)
P.S. Just found your channel and have 10 (cough 20) of your videos saved to watch
P.P.S. OMG is OCD and INFJ trait??
(P.P.P.S. I felt the need to have 3 post scripts)
Hey Frank loving your content. I know you play guitar as do i and i'm a big Prince fan and i can see you love the Beatles as do i seeing your Strawberry Fields analysis (however you're wrong George is the best Beatle). Just wondering if you knew much Prince and could give input on him as i think he is the most classic INFJ artist if you look into him and his lyrics and maybe not the persona he projects. Two for starters would be Condition of the Heart and Tambourine, (Beatlesish) there are many more but if you're not a fan then no worries.
I love your content, this falls all in place to me, hahaha.
What if it is not a gentle kick but a very strong kick or blow on our reality and feeling... I can not except it.... Because they do not want to talk about it for a very long time even if I ask for a million times and blow up suddenly into my face..... How am I supposed to process or except it and I know that person is not INFJ like me.....
Saying that I am being selfish when I am trying to be nice even if I just want to be alone and not talk to anyone, ever them.... Still I am because I think I have to because that is what that makes them happy even if it makes me miserable.... That person is not making me feel comfortable and I am afraid to talk about it because it may hurt their feelings..... They think I am shutting them out just because I feel I need some time and I try to push it but I some time want to feel fine just to be okay and not pressured....... I feel very pressured.......
Frank James What if an infj partner had compassion towards mother nature creatures and someone who is adventurous and kind to animals someone who is well mannered
I'm always like, "I feel so lonely, I need a boyfriend" but then when somebody displays even the slightest bit of interest on me, I go full on philosophising if I really want a boyfriend, why I'm lonely, the root cause of my loneliness, if I only like the idea of love, that it's not the perfect time etc etc
and then i remember that loving bts and yoongi is enough for me, then i shut down that person, and watch a bunch of bangtan videos, then i'll feel lonely again cuz probably i will never love a real person as much as i love them , and the cycle restart ( sorry i made it to a joke but it's partially true lol )
meriem elf Ayeee I feel u sis! *sigh*
zrcjin hehehe but still, loving them gives me life so, yeaah .. 💜
actually i was watching your channel and it's soooo beautiful, i love it 💜💜💜💜
ahahah so true
Hahaha, that is so fucking me! :)
“INFJS have the potential to be very extroverted introverts” . I think about this all the time.
This is so true, and I love that description. My true self is extremely deeply introverted, but I have these moments where I can work a room, or have people thinking I'm bright and bubbly and outgoing.
homewithtina Yes! I'm glad I'm not the only one.😅
Yessss this stuck out to me too! I always have trouble answering the question of whether I’m introverted or extroverted. Lol!
im literally 49% E and 51% I
homewithtina me too!
"We'll martyr ourselves for you, and then wonder why you don't give the same treatment back to us"
I felt that so hard 😂😭
Going through this right now lol
Always.
😂😭😭 same
I felt it too oml
fcckkk
Me an INFJ: Dont study people too much.
also me : spends hours staying quiet and noticing every detail.
Audemoon yes. Sooooo true
Don't stay quiet its out biggest weakness and it is to become our biggest strength to tell all of our mind
I hate it ! Haha :’(
just be friendly and put yourself out there so people get an idea of what youre thinking
well...my person is attacked by this content.
"Too weird to live, too rare to die."
JohnnyLaw0516 Today I actually said I don't feel like I belong in this world, but... I'm still here.... so? Lol
Alex W
I always felt like I didn't belong to this word either... It's such a strange feeling.
Fear and Loathing! One my fav quotes! LMAO! 😎 (My other one was the psychology of normal speeders... "This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart. Make the bastard chase you! He WILL follow!" 🤣
"I am too big to hide, too tall to lie
Too heavy to fly, too strange to die"
Hahahahahhahaha
I don't like to be touchy or clingy with people. But deep down I know that I'm gon be super clingy with the person that I truly like.
I feel the same.. fellow INFJ
I am now dude
Same case
Omgg same, I always think about it 😭
Geez, yes.
‘We’re loyal and give you too many chances and then one day we’re just gone, you’re dead to us’ definition of my life...
Why this happen to us? :( Idk what's happening in my romantic life but I think I can't love someone longer is so sad:(
Makes me almost never want to get into a relationship 😭
Yes also as an INFP not J I gave too many chances in a extremely toxic marriage and in the end all of my youth is gone to someone who didn’t deserve my love. I’m just sad I didn’t leave earlier for my life and my children who also have life lasting trauma from it. Do I have a chance at a happy relationship in the future. I don’t know because I also think one minute how my very core person would love to love again but the next minute I think I will probably be happier alone.
Truth.
sammysamangel did this to my ex
INFJ here laughing at how accurate this is.
😂 so accurate ❤
I feel like Frank and I were separated at birth.
I WAS LAUGHING MY WEE WEE OFF TOO! 😂
Yes. Me too
Yup, I laugh out loud sitting by myself watching/listening to FJ's videos about INFJ's. I am one.
As an INFJ, a scary thing about me(us?) is that I sometimes replay memories, (minority report style), find clues, pick up on things I didn't before...
Out of no where...
"WTF... that S.O.B!! So that's what he was trying to do!"
Lol yep! Me too ha ha
Yes! Same
Word for word!
I think Frank mentions that in one video. Is like we pay a lot of attention on the little cues of somebody'Ss non-verbal language, for example. Try to understand the meaning of every little detail and there's just so much information that we simply don't cover it all. But we want to, and our brain goes that direction. So we end up (always) finding new info to meditate about. And the torture never stops...
AhhhhhHahahaa yes omg. I scour the backlogs to see if I missed something when I feel awful or confused about a situation. I have to say, I'm thinking now maybe that makes it worse. 😆 Maybe better to trust the immediate intution or interpretation rather than add to it later.
“So basically on our first date, we see 30 years into the future “ ☠️☠️☠️☠️omggggggggg meeeeeeee
LMAOOOO STOP PLS
Ugh so true
Like if you can’t see them in your future at all, why waste your time? If you do see them, it’s too quick too soon.
that is so me lol
Yes indeed.
There should be support groups for single INFJ's...
Maybe there’s on facebook?
isn't that what this video is? feels good to be understood even though it's hard to explain. Frank is spot-on.
@@emina77 We should make one!
OMG! I laughed so hard in agreement!
Yeah man
It's almost scary being an INFJ if you actually think about it, since we see so many patterns and small things that it's kind of hard to not see when a relationship is going downhill, and you just have to wait for it to happen because cutting someone off prematurely because of the possibility of getting hurt doesn't make sense to anyone else, and sometimes something small changes it all. It's like sitting in the same room as a time bomb that sometimes fixes itself just before the explosion
Exactly! The moment carefully chosen, the perfect moment, the opportunity presents itself and then you go BOOM! Very messy business, but rewarding outcomes. Ha ha ha!
Yup. I had to wait to break up with my ex bf, because I already knew it was gonna go downhill, it was torture and I don't want to deal with that again.
this is me now, I can feel my engagement going downhill but I am doing my best at waiting. Waiting for my fiance to give up so he won't get hurt so much and his relatives won't get hurt too by me. most of the times I say to myself I'm such a cold hearted b!+ch.. but I am also suffering everyday. I do hope that if it is really meant to end may the universe act on it fast. I'm so tiiired of tending someone else's emotions.
@@Yianiz im sorry that youre dealing with that :/ I don't know the situation, so I know this might not apply but just keep it in mind! Communication always makes it easier, even if it's really scary and draining. If you genuinely want to be with him, I think it's worth talking about and working out!! But if it's something that isn't working out for you, I hope it becomes much less of a burden to you soon. Lots of good luck and hugs
truthly, i can usually only ever get a decent guess at the very beginning. After that, i am very, very, lost. the small details i can find, putting them together, not really.
Bruh, ENTP here and you guys honestly scare me with your feels. It's a powerful and mystical thing that drives me crazy. I'm spending half my life in a dazed state because I don't know what the heck I'm feeling, and then one of you comes up to me, straightens me out, pats me on the head, and sticks a lollipop in my pocket that is the color of self awareness.
Ariel C AHHHHHHH ENTP here as well. HAHAHA
Lmfaooo i just heard this in my sisters voice (shes entp) love you guys!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHHA this is awesome!!
Sounds like something my boyfriend would say! x'D Love your comment!
I have been told that by an ENTP!!!😂 he even said he was scared as well
I think that I have what I call " the busy syndrome " that makes me always feel busy and don't have time to be in a relationship even if I'm spending my days just sitting in a corner listening to music 😂😂
Sammmmeee
lol I like that name" the busy syndrome"😂
Oh my goodness, isn't doing nothing sitting in a corner the greatest! Laughing at myself.
Omg, same!
That makes sense to me lol We're busy in our heads all the time! I have lists to make, planning to do, figuring out the meaning of life and why I'm here HA
INFJ: Always fascinated and trying best to make relationships
Also INFJ: Being Left alone because they think that we are a weird
Peculiar......peculiar people. Not weird
Yeah me too
The problem being introverted that there is no polite way to saying "i love you but I'm tired to being with you right now". I want someone can share my entire life with who will leave me alone sometimes when i recharge my energy.
You'd be surprised that a fair amount of people take that well. My partner is an INTJ and we LOVE our alone time.
I think the first step is educating people in your life about introversion. All my friends know I love them, and I get to a point where I need to not be around people. Anyone. They understand
i find great strength in wording my hangout rejections with friends. it ISNT rude to say “no thank you, i don’t want to go to starbucks” it’s just honesty. some people feel offended because they add “with you” at the end, but it’s not the case and over time people recognize the kindness within that.
right
s a m e
I know, I confuse so many people, even myself 😭
finding these infj videos has made me feel so much less alone in the world i've always thought something was wrong with me because it seemed like i didnt process things like others around me did or was too anxious and cautious about talking and just seeing these explanations and how others are the same makes me feel so good
For me too 😌
Kenni G SAMEEEE!!!
Same ):)
same here
SAME! I just stumbled upon this channel today & I feel totally seen ❤️
I'm an INFJ and i'm a hopless romantic!!I imagine my future relationship as a movie,having deep feelings,getting flowers,kissing on the rain,talking for hours in a cafe...
Is this an INFJ thing?
Not exclusively but I would say so. We romanticize everything and picture “love” really “cinematically”. At least I do.
& get v disappointed when it doesn’t pan out tt way in the end. The story of my life.
Yup, dealing with the difference between expectations and reality 😂
no.
For me yep!! 😩😩
INFJs are all about WORTH. Whether it's relationships or material possessions.
Quality, never quantity, is the number one concern in our decision to invest our time, energy, or money.
This is why we don't like to be pressured into superficial friendships/socializing.
Thank you.... this is probably why I dropped out of my sorority, felt pressured to conform to something that meant nothing to me.
@Sammie R..I love you guys, an ENFP! I am all about it worth and self-love too.
superficial-ism is the WORST.
Exacty! I got fired from both little caesars and slim chickens for make too "high quality pizzas and desserts" i cared too much about the customer recognizing my 5 star cheese pizza im a quarter of a star restaurant! LMFAO!-
My bailbondsmen has since made me realize my worth... to the tune of $3,800.65.....a truly quality number, at that. Ha ha.
"Number 7: They'll always be able to pick up when you're lying or being deceptive."
HELL YES. BUT SOMETIMES WE'LL IGNORE IT OR JUSTIFY IT IN OUR MIND, especially if we started really liking you.
I am not agree at all with this point because I'm too innocent and I always trust people
One time I had a conversation with a girl at work who has a huge crush on me, I could easily spot her lies (saying stuff just to agree) but I ignored them because I knew she liked me lol
@@stevienguyen2047 same, but with a boy (he even told me he have a serious mental disorder just to get through something when he lies, forgetting I study psycology) and I just justified it for weeks just because he likes me
Is it justifying it though, or is it more like understanding? If you guys are identifying the thought pattern of this person and their reasons for lying, but you can still objectively know they are lying, isn't that understanding vs justifying?
ENFP.
@@catstrawford personally, it's justifying. Not all lies are understandable or acceptable. But we make an alibi out of it inside us.
Frank: “you’re good at pretending to be normal”
Me: yup. Totally normal.
Lol I just imagined Frank Grimes talking to Homer Simpson. "Yeah... perfectly normal here boyo" 😂😂😂🤣
I sounded desperate to the person that was my friend-crush.
We think we want to date... But then it's like wow wow wow hold up. Let me calculate our success rate.
i know, right xD
Ahaha this one is jokes , to true XD
or we'll be in a relationship, and something slightly bad will happen and we'll calculate the success rate immediately, only to turn back to immediate never-ending love if something good happens with that relationship. ...or is this just me? lol.
I'm an ENFP that has been in a relationship with an INFJ for 17 years!
I watch your videos because I am endlessly fascinated by my husband and after all these years I am still learning and navigating the strange and deep waters of that type!
I want to tell you INFJ's out there that are looking for a meaningful relationship that it's ok to be a little bit picky (but be patient and give people a chance to get to know you). There are people out there that will love and appreciate your uniqueness, and embrace all your weird and quirky ways.
That introverted intuition is simply magnetic and the way you care and give so much of yourselves is not taken for granted. My INFJ is my rock and earthly guardian angel. We have our difficult times but we learn to communicate and forgive and fight on the same team.
So my advice to you INFJ's is, find someone that will challenge you a bit (sometimes you need a little push out of your shells), but still accepts you for who you are at the end of the day. You are perfect the way you are!
Aggiemcdee a million times yes to this!!! 👍🏻👍🏻
Haha i am an INFJ dating an ENFP for nearly 6 years now! It is amazing how our opposites balance out. It was really rocky the first two years dating but noe it is the best thing i could ever hope for. Congrats on 17 years
Beautiful statement and advice, thank you Aggiemcdee!
getting introverts to open up seems to be my mission and passion in life :D Especially the intuitive types, it's very rewarding!
I am an ENFP who’s is about to get back together with my ex who is an INFJ! I have so much hope for this relationship! We seem to be two sides to the same coin! I am also very fascinated and intrigued by her! I’m excited for the future!
Note: Understand that an INFJ (female at least) wants someone to LEARN her as much as they want to LEARN you.
This has always been a problem in my previous relationships. I'd spend all this time wanting to understand how their mind works, what their body language means, their tiny little cues, etc. I've never once met someone who have even half the cares or depth, which always ends up disappointing -_-
You just articulated what I went thru this week. A male friend made a silly comment and I spent the weekend analyzing how little he knew of me (in 5 months) to make such an insane implication about me. I blocked him without notice.
But yeah, I was disappointed that he barely took time to learn about me just as I was learning about him.
And that's what I desire, someone to learn me and understand me just as I do them (albeit they'll do it to lesser degree than my INFJ self)
Yeah, that's one of the reason why I ended my previous relationship lol.
I feel u
1. It’s difficult for a man to understand a woman to begin with. Donovan Sharpe and Greg Adams come closest, but they’re very cynical.
2. Throw in INFJ characteristics in, and it becomes even more difficult. I’ve been studying infj channels a lot, and I’m not sure I’m at 100% speed (I’m an INTP), but I have some better understanding. But I also know that genetic, subconscious, hypergamous female nature runs underneath the INFJ consciousness stack. Fundamentally, we guys have to account for two distinct, opposite personalities that can come out at any time, including possible fits or irrational anger. With INFJ ladies, this duality gets even more polarized, and I’ve noticed that sigma INFJ’s can have a horrendous temper.
3. TLDR: We can’t know who you are, because you don’t even _really_ know who you’ll be at a given moment.
omfg stop this is soo accurate. my boyfriend is bad at communicating his thoughts and feelings and it triggers me so much but i am always trying so hard to ask him things or describing him things in such a way that he understands and responds to me the way i expect him to but nah. it's exhausting tbh and i'm done asking him things in a fun or elaborative manner.
“...They are going to hide it for a while and the weirdness will come out of nowhere.” Lolll
So me. In every relationship I've been in.. most the times though, shes already in love with me when it happens. Lol
PDA is a way of drawing attention to yourself, which we hate!
Yup
INFJ here and I enjoy pda because it allows my brain to actually enjoy the moment. And the love and empathy melts me.
Ian McLaughlin You’re INFJ but you prefer PDA? Interesting! I would have thought it was more of an INFP thing. I’m INFP & sometimes think I might like the attention. But i later regret things i thought i’d enjoy attention for. I was looking at differences between INFP and INFJ, because recent tests put me into INFP but previously was also routed to INFJ. But I think i am an INFJ-wannabe. I like INFJs but I’m always scared that the few INFJ peeps that I like to be around don’t really like to be around me. INFJs are very aware of their environment and it is really nice.
Amen! My bf whistles at me if he drops me off somewhere as I'm walking away, I physically cringe every time! Lol
I only like it if it's like a place with very little people and only holding hands, hugging or quick kisses nothing too extra
As an INFJ, people revealing their life stories to me after knowing them for approximately 17 seconds is my kink...
Dude, that whole projecting into the future bit was right on. Sometimes I'm like wtf am i doing? All she did was smile at me and there is no way i should be imagining what type of a wedding she would like. Insane.
That's so cute though. Just our ways of figuring out people, making assumptions about them.
I do it all the time and I find it awkward 😭 it takes one deep meaningful conversation with me and I’ll start imagining our life together
First date and I’m already thinking.... okay lace or satin?
@@yem1122 Same
By doing that help to anticipate what type of person u and the girl are too
Timestamps:
1) @0:29 if you're looking for a temporary romance with them they wont even bother
2) @1:15 they sometimes forget to take care of themselves
3) @1:43 theyll always be thinking of the next fun date
4)@2:46 ppl who like labels and designer things are offputting to INFJs
5) @4:03 INFJs can be loyal to a fault/door slam
6) @4:27 INFJs can be very strange ppl
7) @4:58 they can always pick up on when you're lying or being deceptive
8) @6:11 INFJs love to help ppl especially someone they're dating
9) @6:26 sometimes it's hard for INFJs to open up
10) @7:12 they dont enjoy PDA
11) @7:43 never pressure them to socialize and make more friends
12) @8:42 they are extremely future oriented especially in relationships
13) @9:30 INFJs can be easily affected to the energy around them
14) @10:02 they will rarely initiate anything
15) @11:15 if it seems like they're off in a different world its because they are
16) @11:32 theyll always be down to listen to what you have to say
Ly
Why is this too accurate?????
I like pda though
Many thanks from an ENTP
My ocd thanks you 🤗
So...anyone get weary when your BS meter is pingin' and everyone else is like " wow.. you're harsh, you're negative, you're judgemental"!
Then...boom!..it becomes apparent your intuition was spot on and the same people say "omg...who knew that person was so evil & manipulative??!".
"Slowly raises hand* ✋
-sigh-
Same same same. Recently had that feeling and I sooo hope I'm wrong. I do not want any harm done to my loved one. I just hope I'm mistaken
YES. I can spot a snake in the grass a mile away. But you gotta keep it to yourself and keep your powder dry. Unless someone asks who will genuinely listen or you can ask pointed questions to get others to come to the same conclusions / awareness.
I also remind myself that my intuition is only intuition and can be wrong. So I keep an open mind, know my impressions are only impressions and might need more data and proof, etc etc. but I stay wary and alert. I guess the lesson is to know ones instincts could be incorrect but that doesn't mean we should dismiss them. Our b.s. detectors are very valuable. Stay open mind as is practical, but also stay alert, wary and don't forget what you've noticed and picked up on.
I feel like INFJs are the detectives of the world and social situations.
Amen! Still waiting for my kids to WAKE THE F UP! I have been wearing the scapegoat label and the negative label for my whole life. But no more! Not now that I know what this fellow has exposed. I am so grateful to him!
Yeah nobody is ever going to thank you for having known better all along... story of my life
There are way too many times I could’ve stated “told you so!”, but chose not to say anything and be taken as that kind of an asshat. Even though I was right, I’m certain it would not have flown over well. I used to call it Brainy Smurf moments.
"the weirdness will come out of nowhere" I just snorted laughing. My fiance can attest to this.
Rotfl at this comment
What kind of weirdness?
@@fayssal7655 your natural self.
I don't like to say weird....but a "peculiar" people.
I laughed out loud at this because it's so true. At 54 I've given up trying to be "normal". I just flat out tell people ahead of time I'm an oddball. Some people really seem to enjoy it, though. I think because at this point in my life I'm not being forced to fit into spaces that don't work, with people that don't mesh, so I'm free to find others who appreciate my weirdness.
The whole us not being able to open up is so frustrating at times. I want people to understand me better but then I feel like I'm saying too much and then possibly creating a detrimental image of myself. And even so there's other reasons for holding back that I don't even understand. Even with close friends I'll hold back at times. Its very contradictive.
Omg I so agree with you.. It's insanely frustrating. Just like you said, I want to open up, but when I do, I want to get all of that back afterward because to me it feels like it's still not what I wanted to express. It's like I can't catch the whole essence of myself to express to other people. And when I share little snippets, people don't get the entire picture and I can feel them getting the wrong idea about me
Lana I You put it in much better words than I did. I feel you.
I'm the same way
me too. I recently opened up to someone after a looong time of not doing that and it sure backfired and they judged and rejected me and got the wrong idea about me apparently because i couldn't properly capture the essence of myself to show them. it's been a big mess. and I keep thinking they wouldn't even know any of this and be able to judge me based on it if I hadn't told them. they would have gone on thinking I was just like their original perception of me. I'm my own worst enemy. I had hope they'd understand or want to be around to learn more but I scared them off with the depth and complexity of my emotions and thoughts, I guess. too intense, too much for others. I'd rather be alone than keep going through this kind of stuff over and over again. it's too hard and too draining and just reconfirms my fears.
I agree this is true I feel like we just have so much to say when we do open up it just doesn’t come out right. Sometimes certain words can’t even describe what we feel or think in the moment so it comes out wrong.
And this is why the ENFP is the INFJ’s perfect match because all of these points actually feel quite naturally complementary to me. They balance each other out in some areas and they’re both so invested and generous with their affection that they keep each other from getting burned out. The energy thing as well: ENFPs are often bubbly and uplifting, but interestingly are the most introverted of the extroverts and need to be alone to unwind. Man, the more I learn about INFJs, the more I see how an INFJ is exactly the kind of person I can easily fall in love with.
The first casual relationship I had, we ended up getting married! 🤣
Ahahahah that's awesome ! 😂
Heheh, Oops! 8)
That's so sweet
That's not casual lol
...Yeah. thats... oddly not surpriseing. Probably cause i've allways figured that when your LOOKING for love you will find it absolutely nowhere. Once you finally lost ALL hope of finding it, you find yourself in a void staring at that one person you used to be looking for. Uggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
“They sometimes forget to take care of themselves”
Me an injf: packing because I move tomorrow, just got off of work, has a cold, has to go to other job in a hour, Eats one meal a day, and has not been able to wash my hair....I’ll get it together it’s fine lol
Too hungry to sleep, too tired to eat.
Oh, honey, I am 68 and am now just learning what I thought was wrong with me by other people's observations if NOT wrong with me but very right, thanks to this website! Please, please, invest in yourself! Take care of you! Down the road, way down the road, at my age, I am just learning the value of that and today strengthened my knowledge of myself so I can make better plans to care for myself. I live alone now and really enjoy my freedom! I paint!
It's 4am, I made 3 meals this evening:
We're going vegan soon, I made vegan nachos. I took them out of the oven and realized I would need to make more food to feed 3 boys.
I made sloppy Joe's and tater tots to help get rid of existing animal products. My youngest doesn't like Sloppy Joe's, so he had Mac and cheese.
We binged the Mandalorian and I wrote 17 pages in my journal with a five page to do list.
It is 4am and I'm finally eating a few biscuits I made for breakfast tomorrow morning. I was super hungry. I do this several times a week and do not even notice because "busy". My body is screaming.
Yeah, but that happens to me too, and I'm an Infp. And that "barely hanging on" often gives me an Adrenalin-rush. And I always thought that chaotic energy was an infp thing.
I’m an INTJ engaged to an INFJ. We only dated 2 weekends and then we moved together! Since the first date we were talking about future, making plans, designing the ideal bathroom 🤷🏻♀️ and everything went according to the plan!
INFJs are pure treasure!
wow so fast
Now that is called U-Hauling.
how is it now?
@@xloraline 8 year relationship in February ☺️
@@jerrimenard3092 that is called "Knowing what you want"
"The Door Fling Wide Open to a Stranger" is quite possibly the best thing I've ever heard. 😂
I'm glad you addressed that because it's one area where I've felt like I was dichotomous. On one hand I don't tend to trust people very easily and keep a lot to myself. But then randomly I'll meet one person I click with and vomit the entire contents of my brain onto their lap. I haven't really seen any other INFJs mention this being a thing.
Totally agree! I feel like this could be a whole separate video and I thought it was just me (versus an INFJ thing)! I think we sometimes click with someone on such an energetic level that we act in a complete opposite way towards that person than we normally do with others (in terms of being really open immediately with one specific person). I’ve never been able to explain why!
YES! I have been so confused by this.
@@jenniemashburn8037 SAME! It doesn't make any sense.. hahah.
Yeah,. An infp and one of my close friends is an Infj. The first time I saw her, I just somehow knew I'd like her and we clicked and became friends almost immediately. Then the next day she called me crying and told me her whole life story. I didn't mind since I like listening to people and helping them, but it was a little overwhelming tbh. Also, sometimes I get scared you guys will hurt yourselves and never tell your friends because you don't want to "bother" them :/
Also, how come sometimes Infj hide everything, even from their best friends? Like, my best friend is and Infj(most of my friends are), but she never told me she was being hurt until years later. Kinda scared me tbh. All I want to do is help. Any advice?
I feel like I'm from another planet all the time. Like I wanna go home!
Xactly😂
lmaoo yess.
Let's just invade into a Swedish village near the forest and make our own country full of INFJs.
Lmao, I can imagine us 24/7 examining each other like lizards.
But you're already in bed .. AT HOME
@@zews9292 Oh my God how the world would change
"We have a very sensitive BS detector"
My BS detector: He ain't bullshitting
YES, forever martyring myself and then becoming resentful when nobody does it for me. I don't understand it at all and it just makes me think they don't care for me the way I care for them, and then I get REALLY petty and decide to punish them by refusing to help at a time when they really need it. Which is stupid, because I don't even get any satisfaction out of it! I just end up suffering more because their plight bothers my Fe!!!
Woa, so true for me too..
I related to this comment so much.
So relatable
This is exactly what I go through at work everyday!
TOO accurate!
I’m at the point in life that I am comfortable in my own skin FINALLY. So I need deep intimacy, intelligent conversations and emotional vibrancy. Without it, I will continue on my journey solo.
Thank you for this! This whole stuff makes me feel so much less lonely now!
SAAAAAAAAME
Same!!!!
#facts
Infj here! Always was a late bloomer, had my first kiss at age 23 because as a young girl I always imagined it would happen with a certain atmosphere including me being under a starry night sky. Everytime there was a potential first kiss coming but not under my pictured setting, I blocked it at all costs, and never did anything to influence the setting to my taste, I just somehow believed it would magically happen. Eventually got my wish. My first kiss was outside during a breezy night, under a beautiful starry sky and all. Worth it? Yes! Now I have already pictured my first time on my wedding night, how I would be carried by my man, how it will all go down and some other tmi details. Guess who's still a 33 year old virgin lol.
Sad tbh
@@manarmeziani857 to you maybe. To me, it's a beautiful life!
I literally could have written this😊
Omfg I think the same 😂😂😂 I also think of a kiss in a certain setting with a certain mood lol 😂😂😂 and I know when the other wants to kiss and want to prevent it if it's not the perfect setting I had imagined.... same for when I'll get proposed... kinda weird if you think about it 😂
One of the things I've realized, in dating, is that my intuition is usually spot on. I think the biggest reason for me, personally, that I've door slammed another person, is that Ive given someone the benefit of the doubt against my intuition and allowed myself to ignore a lie. Then, I become angry with myself and it becomes this entire inner turmoil, that results in blocked numbers and me never really explaining to them what they did to cause it all. I just disappear, for "no reason," in their eyes. In reality, it's usually a really large reason, that they're just not aware I have any idea about. Such is life.
Dating is hard.
Kathryne Malfa omg that's really me. I never thought anyone will do that
UGH- how many times I have had people say that I pulled back for “no reason”- there is always a reason, and normally a series of them that leads up to the ultimate door slam. Even when I have used all the eloquence and clarity I can muster to explain to someone why I left or need to leave, they still don’t get it, and write it off as being for some other reason that’s more convenient for their worldview. Dating is, in a word, ridiculous. Most of the time.
I have also experienced something similar. While I typically trust my intuition in my day-to-day life, I find it particularly difficult to trust my intuition in a romantic relationship context. For me, I think this is a result of being involved in an abusive romantic relationship where "gaslighting" was used quite frequently by ex. Essentially, I was manipulated enough to where I could not trust my intuition and I have since found it to be really hard to trust my intuition in these kind of contexts. However, being self aware is key. I've found it helpful to confide in friends when these conflicting emotions arise.
So then why don't you explain this huge reason to the other person? Understanding would help both of you with the pain, I'd think.
(Just happened to me with my ex best infj friend - refuses to give me at least a reason to help me grow (I'm an ENFP and would for sure be willing to change negative behaviour) and continues to live in her own self-defensive wold)
I realize this may sound offending to you, I'm sorry, that wasn't my intention :D
Good question, but do you know something? Most people don't want to change. Most people are content being themselves, so why should we bother?
"yeah, we're very loyal. but that doesn't mean it to take advantage of them. jerk" SAY IT OUT LOUD TO PEOPLE AT THE BACK! 👏👏👏
say it loud so that my ex hears it
When a guy has gained my trust enough, if I start to catch feelings and start seeing him as a potential partner, I drop itty bitty little hints that go unnoticed and proceed to silently stress and make myself sick for the next year about being too forward.
“We’ll listen alright. Don’t take it for granted, man” exactly
I am an ISTJ married to an INFJ. My husband is the most amazing man, I wish that he knew how amazing he is.
Make sure you tell him that and show it. It will go a long way. We often feel unappreciated. We will literally die to defend those we love and are close to us.
it is so weird, I just recently discovered that I'm an INFJ and before that I've spent YEARS to get to know myself and understand my personality, questioning why I'm behaving the way i do sometimes and this dude describes me within 12 minutes. it is uncomfortably comforting how on point this video is
The "door fling wide open" for me is a sign that I like someone. Because I don't open up to just anyone, if I opened up to a person, then that means I chose that person.
And energyyyy. I get easily dragged by a person's energy, especially if I really liked that person because I'm usually hyperaware of the person.
🙆 s a m e
me too completely. it's always such a tragedy when the person I choose ends up disappointing or hurting me.
So true! I've been going through this exact thing lately.
" I chose that person" lol yaaassss!!!!
'And then one day, we're gone. You're dead to us'. Wow. It is like you've been in my head 😂
This is definitely me..
True! I just don't know how to express to them that I'm done with you verbally but easier to cut them off and gone. 😂
Happens only when a person has been certified an asshole by our conscience. I don't like hurting people but I completely shut off the toxic ones.
@@saying... Three psychopathic husband all acted wonderful and in love with me and then the second you are alone with them, WHAMY! Don't like hurting folks but then the toxic ones have NO FEELINGS. I have had to wrap my head around that and it took me years. But now I understand and yes, all have been shut off!
"we often imagine ourselves surrounded by really nice things in future" i-
Dude, your videos are like the monologue in my head. It's surreal. I was laughing out loud at times during this video recalling some of these exact situations in my own life. What a mess... hahaha. Oh well. The videos are great!
Brandon Johnson isn't it strange? I just stumbled on these the other day and most of the videos I'm laughing at the almost scary reflection of my life in what he's talking about. Very cool to not feel like you're a total basket case for once lol
Ditto! Lots of LOLs.
OMG, me too! Laughing out loud, GIDDY, in fact! My first time listening to this guy! I love him!
SAME HAHAHA this is very comforting
That’s exactly what im thinking right now.
I would add to the INFJ becomes more of a shell in a relationship if the other person doesn’t give a compelling reason for the INFJ to continue being open or doesn’t provide a sense of security/safety or share a vision of the future etc. I suppose those are all tall orders. Just my take!
I can confirm this as an INFJ.
Same. This is exactly what happens.
I concur
Ash Zaylie i
I love this community!
As a Catholic INFJ, I can see being a nun as a good vocation. 😊 Lots of time to meditate, highly planned life with a strong chance of the to-do list being done, with a strong purpose in accord with my beliefs.
Infj female here- almost became a nun…would have excelled at it except I couldn’t serve a corrupt hierarchy. Nope nope nope..would never work. Ideally, what you think is a nuns life sounds right up one’s alley, but seeing what you’re actually dealing with, it’s a whole different ballgame. The meditation time is dictated by someone else. It is not dictated by when you want or feel the need to meditate. High stress levels from superiors, especially if they want you to lie or cover up some sort of wrong-doing by higher-ups. You MUST obey, or get disciplined or kicked out. A good religious would speak out in a loving way, put their neck on the line. But that sort wouldn’t ever be admitted now a days or last long anyways.
Sorry that’s been your experience, but I don’t think there’s corruption in every monastery. Leadership varies from place to place. But yeah it’s expected that your life is dictated by someone else. If you life in cloistered life that’s kinda what you sign up for.
Orthodox Christian INFJ, have also considered the monastic life.
I used to idealize my love interests too much. Now I cannot stand anyone. I am in a phase that I don’t want to be intimate with anyone. As I got older It becomes very hard for me to get new people in my life.
kiritik ditto....so many people are toxic to me....I have been the door mat....played the fool.....I am not a saint....had a colorful past-I think I am unusual for even one of us INFJs I was the smoker in high school hanging out with those on track for prison, but in AP classes....shit-I’m a female Lip from Shameless in the form of a female INFJ....🙄
Story of my life.
TH-cam Veterinarian i didn’t hang out with extremely bad influences in HS but for whatever reason I did always want to be a part of “that” crowd. However, my friend group then still had a bad influence on me as I began skipping classes a lot and ultimately had to go to summer school to make up for the year. Idk it’s weird but I think INFJ’s are fascinated by bad people lol. At least I am, I tend to be fascinated by those certain types of people who have that “no fucks given” mentality and they just seem so confident and do whatever they want. My best friend back then was introverted but she seemed to have a bit of that attitude which really made me admire her. Sadly her and most of my friend group turned out to be manipulative and narcissistic
Ginger Ann im an INFJ too and I feel that I am similar to you. It’s like I want to be bad even though I’m too emotional and high moral for me to be that lol. Idk if that’s how it is for you. But I usually become fascinated by those types of people who seem really confident and look like they don’t give a fuck about what anyone thinks of them. They usually tend to be troublesome though and when I’ve gotten in trouble in the past it’s usually because I was around those types of people lol
When it comes to a relationship I want a true bond and companionship and love, I don't want casual relationships or hook ups. I truly desire love and a life long relationship with the same person
And I feel strange, I don't like alcohol, I don't like clubbing or parties. I am a novelist so I'm never not thinking about stories I'm coming up with.
You just described me. Very weird and accurate.
You are me, like seriously, these are exactly my thoughts and I'm just so lost and... Never had a boyfriend or even a first kiss with 22 because I feel like it has to be special
@@MirkwoodCrow As an INFJ, my advice is not to wait for long, or else you will remain alone. Which can be also nice, but...A single 38-yr old INFJ
@@korneliakaracs9816 That's a stupid advice. What should I do? Jump on the next guy I see on the street? Never read something so stupid. I want my partner to meet my high expectations. And if that's not possible, then I'd rather be alone forever
Same here. I also hate skimpy clothing and swearing. My moral standards are too much for most people that I don't have the energy to even try to look for friends.
INFJ here and I just found you. Loveeee your videos 💕
I watch your video omg 😍😍 Hi gem!
People have always called me weird because I was never into the dating scene, if I sensed I couldn't connect deeply with a person I wouldn't bother
I've been labeled as a player, and yet after all my break ups, I end upset and the person who leaves, ends up with someone else soon while I'm doing inner work and healing.
It sucks being a hopeless romantic too. What a curse!
I just got out of a "situation ship" with someone who told me that she'd destroy me if she couldn't have me. That really scared me and made me feel like an object!
you are weird
Same, girl.
“It’s a real treat, dating an INFJ.” 🥴😁😂. Amen!!!
I was laughing so hard at this.. 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣😂😄😄😄
I think our disinterest in PDA comes from the fact that when we're affectionate we're giving all of our senses to that other person. Doing so in public takes away from us being able to watch/read everything else around us.
When I see people wearing designer clothes or driving a ridiculous car I feel sad and wonder what they are lacking inside.
“Perfectionist paralysis” I love that!
Ugh. One of the reasons people say "I'm slow" and have a hard time to get up in the morning. But if I run and pray in the morning, it helps me get up and be ready for anything!
Stephan Villavicencio I have the same problem as an INFP im literally paralyzed because I’m trying to do everything perfectly
Yesss
Rules my liiifffeeee 😭
I feel the door swing wide open is because some of us are social scientists at heart. We try weird stuff and see the reaction in people.
When we're done with the experiment, we kind of check the results. If people like it, is like a jackpot for us. If they don't, then we shell. And since we've the BS detector, it's very accurate and we know it.
In my case, it happens when I'm in a good mood and feeling adventurous, perhaps my batteries are at full
Omg, I do the same! I am so curious about other ppls reaction. It shows me, who is actually thinking and who can react appropriatly or at least if they recognize what i am doing 🤩
But i also have to be in a good mood for it, another way, i just dont bother.
If I say something off the wall and they don't respond, I know they are not of my tribe. If they go along with the 'skit' I'm like, You're my best friend forever, forever, forever...
Oh so true!!
I have trouble when I get mixed results and im like bouncing back and forth from my shell, not sure if the person is worth it or I just need more time to assess. Anyone else get like this?
You are so dead on man..Laughing and laughing...Discovered I was an infj after taking test..Turning 50 in September damn I wished I would of known this in my twenties!
I’m 20 and I dont understand myself sometimes lol
@@bellesuot same at 25
I’ll be 18 in less then 2 weeks✨
I was laughing so hard through this, so true.
I’m 30 and wish I knew this sooner. It would have saved me so much time and energy.
I think of you as my friend now, I don’t know why but you remind me of myself.
I know it’s kind of weird..
I would agree. Are we all INFJs commenting.?. ha.. ha..
I almost never comment, but I'm finding it irresistable not to as of recent. This really is an INFJ forum, and it's comfortable here. Frank James, thank you for being our people- I've had a crush on you for ages.
I agree with you I feel as if I know him, he reminds me of myself
It’s like I’m talking out loud to myself
That's what it is! He reminds us of ourselves! Lol
"We've got this crazy good imaginations that are better than the real world wich is probably why you'll end up leaving us."
I can relate to that. I've lost three intimate long term relationships because of that. I was even diagnosed with maladaptive daydreaming.
It's surreal reading other INFJ comments :o
I thought I was an anomaly...
feels good to know *there are* people like me in this world
I thought I was the only psycho that gets more distant as time goes on... what the hell IS THAT? There's kind of a freedom in recognizing personality type tendencies in ourselves. Reading more about my type, watching videos such as yours, and developing a deeper understanding of the things that I do is the first step in working on what I don't necessarily love.
As a fellow INFJ, it's important to me to let you know your videos are helpful. The subtle hilarity is appreciated, too.
"Go easy on me, love. My heart is fragile when it's you. And it has always been you(the one who breaks, rips my heart). You are my peace but you're also a war, my shelter also a storm, my light also a darkness.
Love, I will be of the opinion that we will endure thru', together...
"I have loved you and did not cheat you once; even in my thoughts..."
Mr.INTP, don't make me regret, please!
-Your's INFJ
Frank, you are awfully self-aware for someone who struggles with anxiety and esteem issues. Makes you think that self-awareness is just the first step/foundation vs. the solution.
Two INFJs dating each other would be the worst.
A Small Wardrobe I really wonder if anyone actually went through with it
A Small Wardrobe actually would be cool I'd like to try it
Dylan True not just that but...Something super deep and homely yet familiar.
Don't let FJ's velvety voice fool you. Who the heck would be in charge of leaving the house?
I’ve known of a few INFJ-INFJ couples. I think it has the potential to work (just like any combination) but in my opinion it’s best to date a type other than your own.
"socialize more" ugh I can hear my parents. I super hate socializing especially with relatives. My most hated occasion is family reunion.
Same here it gets me anxious.
-An ENTJ lol.
Why do we need friends though? I understand we are social creatures but it sometimes can be really tiring to try and keep a friendship or make it grow.
You don't need a ton of friends but I think you at least need one or two. Now, how much interaction do you need with your friends? That's up to you. Once a day? Once a week? Once a month? I think that's where your own preferences and energy level come into play.
Hi Handel, I really enjoy your contributions to Baroque music literature. You look really good for 333!
Stephanie Douglass thanks! Its that new anti-aging cream. It really helps.
George Frideric Handel 😂😂 I can imagine drinking lots of Water Music also helps.
George Frideric Handel Gotta take care of those organs.
When I first started hanging out here, I thought I was an INJF because I tested that way. But after super analyzing all of my functions, I’ve finally figured out that I’m an INFP. And I just want to say that INFJ or INFP, you are my people now and I just can’t quit you.
Well I keep trying to get you to quit, but oh well.
Frank James 😂
Bec Wakefield, Frank James - There is *nothing* like an introverted sense of humor! Simply remarkable! 🙌
Where’s My Mandala It’s a rare and beautiful thing. I think we should keep it to ourselves. hehe
my brother's an INFP, and I'm INFJ. Whenever the world doesn't understand, I give him a call. Please don't quit us.
As an INFJ, I broke up with my first boyfriend for the sole purpose of him wanting to keep our relationship a secret. I just don’t get the point if no one knows.
Narc
That's an extremely good reason for ANYONE to end a relationship.
If he didn't tell any reason behind it then it was a right decision.
"INFJ Door Fling Wide Open to a Stranger." Ha! I've done that. It goes without regret. That stranger can leave me. I don't care, we didn't have a connection. But I was able to speak my mind to someone without all the barriers I put in place for others who never break them down.
I am an INFP (on the F/J fence, though) in love with an INFJ woman who's also been my best friend for years. I've never valued and cherished a person more in my life. She had no idea I loved her until I flatout told her (she said "your subtlety and thoughtfulness sometimes boggles my mind, because you express yourself so bluntly otherwise"). Our friendship over time actually grew stronger, as we changed and matured alongside each other. I am her biggest supporter and sometimes harshest critic. But I would never allow myself to lose her, and continue to make a great effort to understand her better. Whether we will become partners, time will tell, but all that matters to me, is that she is a part of my life. She's inspired me to be a better man, and I will always be loyal to her.
heyy, I know that it's been a year now, but also as INFJ, I'm really curious how is it going for you guys ? It really sound like you're an amazing friend for her , so I just wish you all the best!
Just tell her dude... All the best
@@angee7024 Thank you. It did not go well. She elected to withdraw from me, unable or unwilling to communicate with me in a clear and direct manner. She also broke my trust. In hindsight, I'm glad I told her and regret nothing. It took the blinders from my eyes. I have had time to heal from this rather painful experience.
In fact, it might've been best for both of us. When things fall apart, sometimes they need to, so that a better alignment can be established elsewhere.
@@ConcaCon ooh I see and I'm really sorry that it happened in that way :/ I hope you 'll be able to move on and just as you wrote, something even better may wait for you around the corner
Wish you all the best !
@@angee7024 Your kind words are appreciated. I have good people in my life. All the best to you as well. :)
I can 100% relate to the thing about pretty much completely opening up to new people, but then being distant to people who I’ve known for a long time. To me I think about it as almost trying to keep up an image to people who I’ve known for a long time. This is why I struggle to open up with my friends about how I am extremely depressed and desperately need help.
My twin sister and I are both INFJ's, and when we need to "recharge" but don't want to be alone, we have an anti-social social day together that involves very little talking and mostly just... being. I love anti-social social time; it's the best! 😊
I love the people in my life that I can spend alone together time with.
Life touches to deeply for a INFJ to be casual about life experiences that touch deeply.
My relationship as an infp with my infj friends be like:
Me: I care for you
Them: I CARE FOR YOU MORE
Me: I LOVE YOU AND SUPPORT YOU
Them: I WOULD LITERALLY DIE FOR YOU
Me: I WOULD DIE FOR YOU FIRST
*Both screaming*
Confirm!
It is true, I feel like my energy is being sucked up as the relationship deepens, and now I tend to just want to be by myself and gain it back, getting tired of talking and explaining myself, not good.
This is why they can never understand us. We just are.
Exactly!! .. im always absorbing other people energy and when im dating someone, its always tight to me.. like my wild spirit was traped.. pardon my english :D
Very well said 🦄🧚🏻♂️🌈
I’m INFJ and I love PDA. From my significant other. Actually, I just love affection in general from them. Everyone else don’t touch me.
To clarify: holding hands, touching as we pass, hugs, forehead kisses, sweet meaningful kisses.. Not being fondled or made out with 😖 although, a random butt grab ever so often makes me blush in a good way lol 😳
Same, im so comfortable with my hubby and i have no problem to even cuddle in public (not in a weird way 😅) but ive always hated to touch (or be touched by) another ppl, even family members 😲
Me too. Nobody touch me please it feels like electric shock. Except one special guy. Love to hold babies tho.
I'm absolutely the same way as an INFJ. If it's the person I'm in love with, everything you wrote. Everyone else if they so much as tap my leg or shoulder to get my attention I've jumped and it feels like an electric shock. Even with my family I'm not very physically affectionate at all. At most I do the one armed hug. lol I don't even know why. I love my family...but it's different...somehow.
Yeah. Re PDA: I love doing it, but its understated and subtle like hooking my finger around his pinky; for me this is an expression of intense emotion and I can do it anywhere in front of anyone
I don’t think I could hold hands with someone in public 🙈
As a INFJ myself I've always felt weird but proud of being able to analyze someone in a split second. I honestly cannot imagine myself without being able to think the way I do, I use it so much to direct conversations, and to make the person I'm talking to feel as comfortable as possible. I've felt weird at times because whenever I explain my thought process I actually realize how intricate and how complicated my thought process is.
Which is both cool and also makes my head hurt at times.
It’s amazing how we are the most outgoing, loopy, adventurous and laidback relationship types ONCE a person passes our trust test. They don’t pay attention to our blunt, subtle or hidden secretive ways to reveal what we want and need, SO why share our authenticity? It’s no wonder others move on. They either obsessively love us, or, just aren’t into us- yet know we are very special and deserving. Meanwhile, we don’t show any response while they walk away. We can shrug 🤷♀️ our shoulders and say, “okay. Bye” and easily move on, which in turn pisses some off. They spiral into drama mode, to prove to others and themselves we were the cause, or the weird one...trying to get some type of reaction out of us to validate their delusions & lies. It’s definitely on my list of “something a guy should know before dating me. I will bow out gracefully and it will be as if I never existed.” Crickets 🦗 crickets 🦗
As a fellow INFJ, I have come to notice that our sense of purpose is the be all and end all for every aspect of our lives. I have always gravitated toward people who are broken or need a crutch and vice versa. With that being said, I view myself in that same category. I find myself broken in my own way; feelings of disembodiment and this deep-rooted sense of not belonging, it's like I question my own sanity. We need someone we can connect with and who can understand us. We need to create a vision of a successful relationship before just diving into one. There's so much we need to recognize about ourselves before we even begin to mesh with another soul. I feel like an INFJ would be most compatible with another INFJ. There is no need for a mask. The emotions would be raw and authentic and that's something we crave and what gives us a sense of satisfaction.
"Good at pretending to be normal." I feel this so hard. Also everything else said in the video.
"we'll martyr ourselves for you and then wonder why you don't give the same treatment back to us"
sounds so ridiculous put simply like this, but this is exactly why a few of my past friendships went downhill ^^"
GIVE BACK TO US. We should tattoo that on our foreheads.
😂👏
We wouldn't accept it anyway lol
But once we do, we'll do our best to give back 10x better.
Exactly.
Just find an FP they will do that for you or even ,, excessively"" lmao :) also I think when, when they don't get their whatever affection or care back they don't resent anyone or revenge. they just tell you :
" felt this and that when this and that happened on saturday december 12 1999 LMAO :D but seriously".
I found out 8 years ago that I score as an infj and I found it to be one of the most liberating things I've ever experienced. I love these communities where we can get together and feel NORMAL with other infj company. I also have many infj friends in real life which helps a lot, too. Thank you for creating this space. I think you do it very well and you are a gifted communicator/teacher (go figure). I also really enjoy the glimpses of your humor that you throw in at times. It reminds me of myself and it always makes me genuinely laugh. Thanks, Frank, for doing all of this research and making these videos for us.
Ps, I know you did a book rec in another video so I wanted to give you another recommendation... it's called The Spell of the Sensuous. Maybe you've already read it. I found it really beautiful and inspiring.
right lmao. I was like why they hell am I like this and started thinking I had autism or something for a sec but now I know that I belong to the most legendary type I finally love myself and all my little quirks haha
@@fifia4618 yes! Was just watching videos last night about BPD and then started thinking...hmm it sounds a lot like INFJ though 😆
I wish it was as easy as it sounds to just “go out and get a friend or two.” :)
TheStarryPath ...I DON’T... lol
We are able to pull a lot of people into our energy... The question is... are they on the same level to keep up???
@KATARI...I here ya, from a bona fide ENFP!
😭😭😭
About #4 - I think there's a lot more to this point than just being "anti-designer" or "anti-money." The main turnoff is when people use their high-quality stuff to justify treating other people like dirt. It goes along the same lines of being rude to waiters or custodians (big red flag!!). If a person owns nice items and appreciates high-end things simply for the quality, I respect that. If a person constantly looks down on other people because they don't have name-brand items, then I will assume that that person's affection/commitment is fickle and I won't invest any further in that relationship. In addition to being excellent bs-detectors we're also decent a**hole-detectors, too!
I love ❤️ this guy❣️
I feel so understood ❣️
He totally gets me 🤸🏾♂️❣️🤩
My oldest brother and I are both infj . Fully agree on the name brand , nice things point. We're both very particular about how we look and dress also about having certain things. Beauty and harmony is very important to us both and also quality....but to be around someone who only talks about money or material things is pretty unbearable.
This might sound weird but I've been wondering about infj's and animals. Is it just me, or are we magnets for pets and wild-life? Cause I feel like I am...and that could be one that got left out in the cold, shivering in the freezing rain. Open the door and let the poor cat in.
Space Cat - I have noticed the same thing! Animals and also young children seem to gravitate towards us. Very noticeable with dogs, cats and children- whether you like it or not! My friends tease me because this happens when we are out and about. I think that we emit a safe, calming energy.
Well the other day a huge pigeon took a massive shit on a table I have on my apartment balcony, so it seems you might be correct about INFJs attracting wild-life. =)
Space cat- love the name ! Yes I agree. All my life especially animals who are not particularly friendly but there they are, hanging out with me , even wanting to snuggle or stare into my eyes. I love it!!
Kristian Jensen I'm sorry I laughed, it's only funny when it's not yourself. Ever wonder why when for instance a fox happens across your property and relieves itself it's just called skat. But when a neighbour's dog/cat, or a giant bird lands a burger on your balcony/yard it's called a "shit"? Like why can wildlife get away with it, it's socially appropriate to say skat, but shit????, oh no you didn't just do that?
Edit: Scat is apparently the correct spelling, I prefer it with a k, less cat like. You decide.
We generally aren't very PC where I live, so a shit is called a shit regardless of the source being wildlife, domesticated animals, people, babies... fish too I guess?
At any rate, I laughed a bit when I saw the misdeed, imagining to myself just how constipated the pigeon would have been for it to explode like that.
Come to think of it, there were also feathers all over the place so maybe it did explode in the literal sense of the word.
im infp and i relate to a lot of these, not ones centered around extraverted feeling
- the sensitive bs detector
-imagining myself surrounded by nice things
-long time to open up, or open up to a stranger
-door slam
-encouragement to socialize
-projecting into future
-can sense others feelings (not feel what you feel)
-listen well to understand everything about you
Same! I do think there's a lot of overlap. Which makes sense, y'know; three out of four letters are the same, but still.
@@WynneL Definitely overlap! Thanks for bringing me back to this video! It's cool to see a window into my thoughts 2 years ago haha. I've found that I do have extraverted feeling around my boyfriend (all over the spectrum healthy and unhealthy emotional expression), but no one else. Maybe youve experienced something similar?
I'm INFJ and this is so accurate its scary haha.
Awww.... Frank James,....... Your so adorably cute!!! (I’m a female INFJ, btw.....). 😊🦋🧚♀️. It’s so nice to see another kind, sensitive soul, - just like myself, - also out there, in the world too somewhere...... We need more INFJ’s in the world, for the world........ 💖
As an INFJ, I found this pretty accurate that's scary.