Lol who else is an INFJ and watching this video to see if they do these things around their crush Edit: Try being autistic on top of all of this, it’s a mess! (,Ծ‸Ծ,)
When an INFJ stops loving you, dont bother...It is simiply over. When INFJ dont love you, they dont love you, no matter what the person tries to do to get INFJ's attention.
Ha I was just thinking about this... I had cut someone out of my life a few months ago due to toxic behaviour he had displayed and how dependent he was on me. As much as I had loved and cared for him, I had also grown to resent him. Until the negative emotions grew more while the positives diminished completely. When I look back I see a pitiful person yet I also wasn't properly matured and could be equally as pitiful. Even if we both matured enough (don't know about him), I don't think I could ever go back.
I'll first befriend the person I like, and quietly observe them for awhile, months even, to see how they react to problems, how they handle situations, how they treat other people, etc. If they react badly to situations, but confess their love for me, I would refuse their proposal, because I don't want to be put into a toxic relationship. If I think they're right for me, I just tell them I like them.
Totally! I kind of evaluate them before I let anyone in. I’m known as being too nice but if I’ve come to this conclusion that if ur nice then you won’t get drama. As a INFJ, I loved someone silently for 6 years ( it was unrequited) but everyone around me was like you should be more open... what’s wrong with loving someone quietly? And if I do why does it have to be physical? Can’t I love someone without having to say it directly or show it? Anyways, I just don’t like be extroverted bout meaningful things
I do the same thing, however... I am unsure if my actions is something every crushing INFJ has done or if this is just something I did, but I had a tendency of being hot and cold towards this person. It was practically me testing whether they could handle my tendencies of being the warmest person on earth to a lifeless spawn of Satan's creations. Never in between. Not only am I observing how they do through life experiences and attempt to grip a handle on certain situations. But in my head I determine whether I believe we'd be compatible. I prepare myself for whatever outcome and how I conclude to see how that relationship would run... to then return to the thought of, I'm too immature to get into a relationship.
I think the other person will prefer that over being 'vague'..since usually when people *do* judge you (other person) you can just sense they have some sort of opinion about you, but you have no idea what it is. It does not really feel very sincere to me when I sense someone is really judging me, but is not telling me about it (directly or indirectly letting me know). If one would state they prefer not to tell something, at least it's honest, and also displays the reasoning why the person is being vague.. When people act like that towards me, it does not encourage me to be myself either, since usually in communication with others both parties make it at least more obvious if they at least like eachother as a person. Acting like friends to a person where you do not get feedback from if even like you as a person, seems odd and counter intuitive. I think INFJ's unintentionally shut out a lot of sincere people with acting so extremely reserved. The people who stick around, might not be the ones who really like you for you, because you're not really showing the whole you. A narcisist does not mind you're not being completely open and will act very, very friendly towards you , which on your turn may make you become more open, but these are not really the persons you generally want to attract.
Ah that explains why the narcissists always seem to try to follow me around. I've learned how to spot them quickly, having roomed with one for a year. And yes, that is the conflict of the INFJ. I wonder if an INFJ could push another away who was acting the same. (thus being self-contradictory) Thus sometimes I overly bluntly say "I like how you think" or "I like [insert work of person]." Complements are rare for me so I guess those are the way out of the "hole of reservation."
Your points really apply to male INFJs as well. The problem is the world expects males to be the "MAN" and take charge, initiate, be aggressive, etc. Totally not the style of an INFJ. Hmm I'm starting to see why we are the rarest type now.
You can still be these things. Don't allow a personality designation to define who you are. It's stupid to force yourself into a label and discard traits that don't fit it so you better fit it and have an identity. Treat it kinda like a horoscope, not all traits are correct. edit: an example of how I fit and don't fit the INFJ mold is that I can have great empathy, but I can lose all that empathy and become a real sociopath if I am pushed to it. I can also be super aggressive and competitive if it's an area I am interested in, or there is someone that I really want and have no doubts about.
If I like you as an INFJ, I'll try my best to have an attentive humorous conversation. It's quite obvious that I like you when I remember little details about you and give you either food or a gift or gesture that's meaningful to you. If I let you touch me is a dead give away too
True. I have a cat and identify a lot with her behavior, moods, and so on. Cats have always been my favorite animals, they’re such a delight. I’ve actually been wondering whether there are more cat persons or dog persons among INFJs.
the part where you talked about not wanting to be touched by other people I relate to so much !! around my extended family or people I don’t know very well I hate being touched.. but when it comes to someone I’m interested in it’s a different story 🤩
So true! You won't believe what my extended family did to me. I opened the door to my cousin's house and overheared someone say "play it now" I knew something bad was going to happen involving me and I knew it'd make me uncomfortable. When I got in I hid in the other room until they forced me out. They proceeded to play the intro to the lion king and dance around me in a circle and then all grabbed and lifted me at the end. I fucking hated it so much. I actually felt like I could be sick lol. But I don't resent them of course. They probably didn't intend to make me uncomfortable or have any I'll intent. I even feel uncomfortable when my dad hugs me... It's so awkward...
Well you just earned yourself a new sub and not just because you're pretty. Yes I am a male INFJ I will number the ones like on the list.... 1. I will generally will find it difficult to get words past my lips if I like someone on a face to face basis. 2. If I allow you to touch me, it means I trust you enough. 3. I will definitely wait for them to make the first move. As I have been trough a lot, I will be bewildered, but if it's subtle I will mentally calm down and feel more at peace. 4. I don't smile much, but I will when I am with the one I like. 5. I will drop almost everything I am doing to spend time with them. 6. If I like someone, I will give them the secrets of the universe if I could. 7. If I like someone asking them out will not be a problem. 8. I will give you everything I can if someone I like needs it, all the way down to the shirt off my back. Pretty much so much of this to a T. If it get's serious I will welcome them with open arms, but it will just be the one.
Anonymous to make it simple for number 3, Let's just say I got more knives in my back than a goddamn knife set that you could get for $29.99 and you can even say it's almost like I'm always ready for war. Or just make it even shorter than that, I just don't fucking trust people aside from a few. For 7, Obviously I don't find a reason why I shouldn't. Seriously think about it before you ask, because obviously you don't know me and you obviously don't know my ways.
Omg whenever I'm around someone I respect I always keep my head up but I'm never looking at them I always dart my eyes at anything that isn't the person and I blurr my vision 😂
Too much information to process when looking at someone who is talking lol it's either read their micro expressions and micro tones in their voices or look away and pay attention to what they're saying
Justin Rettig So true. I can't focus on what they're saying if i'm watching at their eyes directly, so i usually watch everywhere else than their eyes.
...we prefer to have that psychological and emotional distance with people we are not interested in because there is no point anyway. Lol-the way you said “because there is no point anyway” was dead on.
@@tylerwatson125 Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. ASMR. Best described as a tingle on your scalp/brain. You should check some out on TH-cam just type in ASMR and you'll get hundreds of videos. It's really mainstream now. It wasn't 10 years ago.
Myth.... not all INFJ's are shy and insecure. It has a lot to do with their upbringing. Smart parents will be able to nurture and build the right kind of confidence in the child. Being truly loved is a great modifier. Being truly loved, means the child was not pampered, nor sheltered... Yet, never treated cruelly when not pampering and sheltering them. Parents can easily wish to over protect such a child... or, make insensitive demands to try to modify the behavior.
That’s so funny I did too ! And you see her eyes roll a little because she was upset over the drop lol :) wow this is crazy people who are like me ! And can relate 🥺my heart is happy !
As a tactic, I go the opposite route of remaining quiet around someone I'm interested. Instead I act very open and bubbly so that my actual feelings are masked and the person doesn't feel potentially uncomfortable due to the distance I'd prefer was between us :)
That is what I do when I'm with my brother I talk to him and give jokes so if my crush comes around I try to continue talking to my brother or smile excessively I don't stay quiet or else someone will notice my heavy breathing
When I realize I have a crush on someone. I tend to be in denial. I tell myself, "No, you don't like this guy. No, he doesn't like you either. It was all just a coincidence and you're being delusional." If my feelings still continue... I hide, ignore, and avoid my crush. If I can't see him, if I can't hear him, then it means I won't be able to notice him. It's harder though, when your crush almost always shows up. I start to become paranoid and feel like my crush could be anywhere. Sometimes my crush is just a few centimeters away from me, and it's even harder to push these feelings away!
Apart from infj stare, they'd never know I like them. Ever. I love being touched and to touch BE IN MIND YOU GUYS THE LOVE LANGUAGE OF PERSON. Mine is physical. I love being chased. The more obvious the better.
Yeah I too love being touched. Ever since I was a little kid I was the one running around giving people hugs. Wish it was still appropriate to do it as an adult 😂
I’m a male infj... and when I like someone I become shy but try to remain confident, I do notice that I become very clumsy around someone I like. Like, I’d try to pull a push door or I’d trip over my own feet. My mind starts to race cuz she’s so pretty, and I’ll try not to be awkward and totally fail because my clumsy ass is so obvious.
Im an infj female, im 40. My crush happend when i was 16 i was dating another, and my crush was his best friend. I cant explain it, but i knew the moment i met him he was my future. He was the best man at my wedding and in every picture it looked like i was my crush's wife. 20 years later here we are exactly the picture i had when i was 16 in love! The thing is i was so shy timid and so very awkward when around him when i was younger. He was the only one i would let touch me out side of family, i would always ask him during the 20 years why he wasnt married and he would look at me like im waiting for you. I cant tell you how spot on i feel ypur video is. But feel confident in your vision of your soulmate because it is very real it takes time but does happen. Love you beautiful human!
at around 16 I felt the exact same way about this guy i've seen at my bus stop a couple times but I felt so weirdly calm. i was feeling really anxious that day because i just came off the train and all the movement always makes me so nervous. as soon as i saw him all of that melted away and i know he's my soulmate because that has NEVER happened. i'm 17 now and just praying i meet him again because i haven't seen him for months now :( I should of not been so distant and quiet because i had no excuse as my anxiety always disappears around him. still hoping he talks to me first though lmao
I'm Just an ENFP researching whether the INFJ I like, likes me as well. She got me at a hello. And I found some signs from her. I hope I clear the misunderstanding between us.
As much as I love people, they are exhausting for me. So if I'm actively seeking you out to initiate conversation or spend time in your space, even if I'm not sure what to talk about or what I'm doing there... I'm probably into you. It might look like just showing up to your space for no particular reason, perhaps sitting in some awkward silence and looking unsure of myself. I wouldn't insert myself into an awkward situation if the person wasn't worth my time. I'll also be really interested in your inner workings, and I'll ask questions about you. Also - if I like you, I'll make an effort to polish my appearance. So if I suddenly start dressing up/ smelling of flowers and citrus more than usual, it's on purpose. You will probably never see me disheveled in any way until we've really gotten comfortable. If you do happen to catch a glimpse of me when I'm not put together, there will be slight panic on my face, and I will make as swift of an exit as possible, only returning when I feel presentable. Finally, if you get close to me, I won't move away, and may even try to close the gap myself (very, very cautiously, even if I'm 90% sure you're interested in me). Biggest sign I do not like you back: If you are dropping hints left and right, spelling it all out, and we still aren't responding/seem oblivious - the feelings are probably not reciprocated. I hate hurting people's feelings, and so I will avoid the subject of romance at all costs. Though I may act as if I am missing all of your hints completely, I am perfectly aware that you like me; I'm just hoping that if I stay oblivious long enough, you'll give up and move on. However, some INFJs have such low self-esteem that they will not consider it a possibility that you might like them, in which case you will need to spell it out for them. If you want to save time, just rip the bandaid off and ask. If the answer is no, do not try to persuade or push - this will land you in the "insufferable people" basket. However, if you accept no for an answer and respect my boundaries without holding a grudge, I may reconsider and approach you in the future.
Bang on... Even for a male INFJ such as myself. Time is everything with an INFJ... By the amount of time an INFJ is willing to spend with you, you can gage how much they like you... Otherwise they will give seemingly "valid" excuses but always politely... But for real an INFJ will always make time for their few true friends no matter what... unless they absolutley can't. Btw nice channel... And is that an aussie accent i hear?
Hi, I’m an INFJ and I start to shake uncontrollably whenever I “open up” to someone. Does anybody else have this problem? Is this normal behavior for an INFJ? Or people in general?
It takes a particularly intense emotional state for me to do that, but I can relate. Since we take in so much information about other people and also other's reactions to us, I find that there's sort of an overload when opening up to people. When we open up we're exposing the deeper parts of ourselves, parts that people don't understand. There's an inner battle for acceptance going on. There's the need to articulate our nebulous inner worlds in a way that's true and authentic, which is almost always impossible since we're such complex creatures who don't fully understand ourselves.
My foot shook uncontrollably the one and only time I sang karaoke. Luckily no one noticed because I killed with a perfect imitation of Johnny Cash. Funny enough, I found out that I prefer public speaking to karaoke.
Shaking is somatic experiencing and it happens in people, not in specific MBTI types. They say that helps you let go of trauma. I will say it's beyond normal, because most people hold onto it for ages without knowing, and it's actually just a part of trully letting go of that trauma you have around opening up if you fully let the shaking occur.
I Feel You............ I Feel you deep within my Heart, As tho we were one and not apart, As tho we were walking on the same Path, I've Cried your Tears,I,ve laughed your Laugh, I've screamed at your Pain, i wept at your Joy, And swam in the River of Love you Deploy, I Feel you forever,past all and the End, I Love you my Brother,my Sister,my Friend.
that is really cute! i got the opposite problem I like an intj guy and I am always so nervous i only talk shit and my brain just doesnt work anymore... I'm sure he now thinks that I'm stupid... I'm not kidding i forget 4 years worth of knowledge of what i have an BSc on... My brain just switches off and leaves me behind like i just lost 30 IQ points...
if u would want to start with the weather.. maybe instead of asking "do u like the rain?" for example, you can instead ask, "if u were to like something about the rain, what would it be?" that could make them think of something to like about rain even if they may actually prefer the sun. instead of asking a question answerable by a yes or no, it'll at least make them think and INFJs love to think.
@@fifia4618 it actually got me thinking.. maybe people have this impression that if that person looks intimidating to approach, that person must either fall under the INTJ or the INFJ category..lol..
Don't forget the initial push away if you don't know enough about the person and you feel like you're committing too much too soon because they come on really strong. They might be a really nice person but if I don't know enough to decide as fast as you seem to have chosen me.. my first inner response is "get away from me in such a familiar way, I don't know you" come back later with a lighter approach and I can get to know you and easier be able to decide whether or not I want to approach a commitment /relationship.
We adore, when people take initiative towards us like an old schooler. You get more of a reaction from us, when you take initiative towards us and only if you can tell we like you romantically
If we make time for you, within our own schedules. Then we want to spend it with you, alone only ❤️🙏🏾👑 because we didn't agree to spend time with a shit load of other people that we haven't agreed to
As a male INFJ ..... U were down to the point. I don't think sex really influenced how an INFJ thinks lol 😂. True .... As u said; That as a male u are expected to be the one coming forward 🤧
A good description, but beside the subject it will be Worth to Warn INFJ`s of toxic people, which can be so harmful to an INFJ, even destructive. Regards.
Thanks for the valuable feedback! And of course - healthy INFJs know better to not associate themselves with potentially toxic people. Our desire to help others may make us especially vulnerable to being taken advantage of because we tend to the see the best in people (at least for me), but even "toxic" people deserve a chance to be heard and counselled. If it becomes too much for us, we usually resort to a doorslam anyway haha.
//If it becomes too much for us, we usually resort to a doorslam anyway haha. // If we can recognize the problem on time, but my 20 years of experience with wife a "quiet" borderline, and research telling that realationships with toxic people is nearly a pattern for INFJ`s, all that tells otherwise. There is possibility that such kind of problems is for our growth but how can we tell. There is an interesting concept of Tolle`s "pain body" at work which is worth to explore. // Our desire to help others... // On that I want share with You what I put in comments hire: th-cam.com/video/AgCaq_4RD6k/w-d-xo.html&lc=z22mtfv4hkaauzopx04t1aokgncsloms5cuxdxz01mt3bk0h00410.1522243132662302 th-cam.com/video/FhlgtgwsiEs/w-d-xo.html
INFJ male here ^^ Those points where very accurate indeed. In the past i did those things (trying to skip smalltalk and engaging into personal conversation and spending a whole day with one person only) with people i was not interested in having a relationship with(but whom i knew to be other INFJs, girls obviously), two, though
Very accurate for me, male INFJ here. Totally agree with your points, especially being shy and wanting to "pick their mind," or just being very enthusiastic & curious about them(their heart, mind).
infj guy here; I relate to all the points you have just made when it comes to liking a girl. This past saturday my crush told me she was sick with the stomach flu - not being able to eat or drink anything. I ended up searching for an article to help her get through it/have it go away quickly. ;; - it took me a hot minute since I needed to make sure I read the whole thing so i knew it was going to provide her with the best advice ~
I - ISFP - can actually tell you are an INFJ. that's crazy. by the way you speak your words. The feeling I get reminds me very much of a friend of mine who is an INFJ as well. I have a spezial thing for INFJs. I like them they are very beautiful mind and heart.
Professional collector of INFJs reporting in. All of these points are true for INFJ men and women. Basically cats. You do stiffen up, yes it's noticable and kinda adorable. And yes, you have to approach first, but hang back a few feet until they come to you. The most important point...I think that you missed...is they invite you into their latest ideas/hobbies/and goals. No small talk...sure...but you're happy to avoid talking about yourselves. So it's deep talks about the universe, life, and myself. But you really avoid opening up. I think inviting to share your hobbies/goals/and ideas is prolly a huge step for an INFJ.
So accurate. Especially the touching part. When someone you like touches you, you literally feel it throughout your whole body until they let go. It’s awesome.
If I feel a person is good in the beginning I'd try to stay near them, if I feel that there's a wall I don't talk to them at all. That applies for friends and love interests alike.
I'm INFJ male, and I'm at the point now where I will only date INTP or a fellow INFJ. I've never been with the latter that I know of, but the Logician was certainly a special bond.
@winonaevergarden1981 I worked with one for quite a long time, and we clicked immediately and clearly just meshed better than any other two people at work. Like a club of 2 people that others werent allowed in, conversations included. I only knew my own type and had never read much about others, but she was just such a fascinating person to me that I had to know. So I asked eventually if she'd ever read about the subject, and wouldn't you know it INTP. And once I read in depth about Logicians everything made sense. I can't say I've had a connection that was at all like that one with anyone else I've ever met. 1000% I'd marry an INTP woman. If you suspect you know one just ask in some organic kind of way, a real one won't mind answering or finding out for their own curiosity.
@@noktumwhatever753 wish you best of luck to find one. I'm a female INTP who has an INFJ bf. We have been dating long distance for over 2 years now and still going strong. We do meet each other irl multiple of times already though so it's not reall online dating only haha. In few years hoping to move to his country to live with him
I want to give you some advice (Yes I am talking to you) If you like someone approach them and purpose them (Yes after evaluating each other) If he/she likes you They will accept otherwise reject If get rejected then move on because first impression is last impression (once rejected you can't be accepted) Whether you like it or not this is Truth (find new partner) And don't become depressed you will get your love with time (If you are emotionally healthy)
I literally avoided my first crush at all costs whenever he talked to me because I was so nervous I'd say something stupid . Also, I never got close enough to him to analyze his personality so I wasn't sure how he would react to my personality and the things I could say.
I'm an INFJ Simga male. I've learned to initiate and "cross all the bridges", which basically means shoulder the responsibility and make all the first moves, i.e. approach, getting contact info, asking for date, escalating kino, etc...
As an INFJ guy I can say that most of this applies to INFJ guys too. The main differences I think are that for guys, we have a tension between wanting to pursue someone and sort of be respected while also wanting to be pursued, like you said. So that part is there but maybe not quite as strong in guys. Time is SUCH a huge thing! So many other types don't seem to get this about INFJs. If I make time for you, that means I care. If you don't make time for me, it communicates a great lack of care. The people I am closest to are the people who consistently make time for me and appreciate me making time for them :)
I can relate to this so much, Everyone says im a cold person with a rude personality, but im just a person who is very honest. Since small, I have always had these thoughts filling my head, But when I found someone that was fit for me I turned into a tsundere, I turned into this totally different person, I acted so clumsy and stammered a lot, So I just stayed quiet and watched him for months, until he approaches me.
Yes, these are absolutely correct for me as well (INFJ here). Your explanations of each point made me smile, bc they were so accurate and so well expressed. Thank you for taking the time you took to get introspective and get clear on this list, and thank you for making the video to share with everyone interested.
I am solidly INFJ, for decades. Anyone who is fake or has no meaningful conversation ability... I am finished with already. This includes everybody I have contact with. END Sometimes, close friends I have had for years suddenly change, time with them is no longer quality or becomes fake or is too short, and I just go away politely. I am not mad or hurt... I am just finished. Since our intuition rules our thoughts and therefore our actions, we already know future outcomes before they occur... in others but also ourselves. We are magnets to those seeking help and these people are not fake and yes, they provide very meaningful conversations... and always there seems to be a certain kind of love there. For me, these people are hardest to leave... but when we part they do know and appreciate knowing someone cared enough to help. One would think true love would find an INFJ. For me, not so. I find answers for other people, it is rewarding in that respect. I lack answers for me, curiously. Looking back, it just seems like I love others at a deeper level and give them much of my time, unselfishly not expecting anything in return. I expect appreciation, but not love. So, why does this happen a lot? Because others immediately know they can trust me. They give me their life story in 5 minutes! And just that quick, likewise, I give them good advice. And I care for their cause too, genuinely I care. Young INFJs: You will have satisfaction helping others. You will have just a few good friends. But watch out for narcissists, they are the worst threat an INFJ faces. You won't know they are takers only, until you cannot help them. Then they start to demand your help. Advice: As a test, make an excuse to not help, and gauge their reaction. If they get angry, mad, hurt, or threatening... just leave. They are capable of anything when confronted with the prospect of losing your help.
Prettttyyyy accurate...i actually thought the touching thing was just me being wierd...anyway great vid keep up the awesome work...i definitely need more👏👏👏👏you say things i am unable to put into words.
I just went on a date last week, she talked a lot about her job, hobbies, adventures, etc. Me as a male INFJ, talked about my parents, my best friends, my most traumatic experiences, etc.. She thinks I'm a dark and boring person haha... and then my guilt made me text her let's just be friends because we're not compatible... She must be thinking I'm such a weird person.. haha
I am an ENFP and most the girls I have dated are INFJs. Most of the time in my experience the INFJ will approach me first, or stalk me on Facebook, or start a back and forth banter.
Ah yes I love being chased. Kinda sound like I lure them into a relationship, but it's just a thing I do, you know. Most of my relationships started out like that, and I never really found the right explanations until now. Thank you!
Ahh i think i understand how it feels to be a male infj.. the different is i'm an enfp female, and i want to take charge and initiative for things, too bad society expects me to be less aggresive:(
i just realised .......all those perfect people in the movies who knew what the other person was thinking and knew when to empathise with them and help them out of the down were all infjs.......all the single but perfect when it comes to relationship advice people in the movies were infjs XD
As an INTJ I like the sweetness and femininity that women INFJs exude, but I don't think I could ever be with one deeply romantically. The reason is that you seem so delicate and consciencious that you don't deserve my bad side. I could never ruin an INFJ. But you can't live and share a life with a person wihtout your bad side show up and perhaps even set the mood and pace. You INFJs deserve better natured people. You guys look like the type that is sitting with crossed legs balancing on a stone plate on top of a pyramid. I couldn't preturb your ballance, you deserve to have good options, and not someone that also has trouble keeping their own equilibrium.
@@butwhy8126 It can be, but it call also be seen like the most horrible thing. I've told people things that I know no one would have told them, that helped them but made me look like an horrible person. I got to live with those thoughts for ages, that contradiction of hurting someone you care for, to protect them on the long run. It's a bit lonely to be abandoned and be seen as a bad person, but I know why I did it, and that's the only way I can protect someone. I've seen this image saying INTJs are "black knights" (as opposed to white knights) and I can agree with that. We help when no one would, pay a horrible price, not get the credit, and have the person even leave thinking you are the worst, but I can have my clear conscience on what I did and who I am. Sometimes I'm scared of what I could do to protect someone I care for. I'm sure that's one of the reasons why I keep so many people at bay, caring too much can be unhealthy, we are no longer in the jungle surrounded by predators and foreign tribes (this made me think of the movie Apocalypto). We can be overly intense when pushed and that's not okay, in society all that's needed is temperance. If you ever need help from an INTJ look into our eyes, and if they have a shine that is hidding a burning fire, they will help you to their own detriment. I know I will.
You really remind me of Tina Yong! But love the video! I can definitely relate to the touching thing LOL and the "thirst for knowledge," I really like knowing how people think!
I can relate to this, I just started trying to understand why I am the way I am and found out I am a INFJ. This video makes total sense and I am this way. Thank you for making this video.
I FULLY agree with all of these points! The only thing I don't 100% agree on is showing all of my emotions. I try my hardest to hide some of my emotions. Some are harder for me to hide than others. My personality has always been strange to me. I feel like I bounce back and forth from one extreme to another. I'm typically very 'reserved' and quiet but I have surprised myself on multiple occasions and done very bold things that I wouldn't typically do if I'm interested in someone.
Every part related to me so well. 100% accurate. Especially the part about being inspired by the more outgoing... I wish I could make the first move. I just don't have it in me. Then it's too late...
As a male INFJ in Highschool, I get really effervescent around girls I like and get more comfortable with physical contact. I am comfortable with that at normal times as well. Also, I love to smile around crushes and friends as well. However, in group situations I like to take a leading role in getting the conversation going, but then will withdraw to take joy in watching my friends chat. That's the most fun thing for me, see my friends' joy. I really agree with everything else you postulate. 😁
Damned. I initiated several times if I was really interested in someone. I finally married someone who didn't play games and knew what he wanted. I have been married for 12 years now. Good luck finding someone who values you as much as you value everything. My husband excels at massages and never refuses. I'm beginning to feel unspecial, why are you spilling my files!! Great video.
Hi Jenn, Thank you for your story. You are spot on! I am a INFJ Male it has only taken me years to understand my interactions with other people (putting yourself last, help others first, frustrating at times). I tick every box in that list. Take care and thanks
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Lol who else is an INFJ and watching this video to see if they do these things around their crush
Edit: Try being autistic on top of all of this, it’s a mess! (,Ծ‸Ծ,)
Meeee
Hehe me
Me😆😆😆
Mee
Me 😂
When an INFJ stops loving you, dont bother...It is simiply over. When INFJ dont love you, they dont love you, no matter what the person tries to do to get INFJ's attention.
E I have j, just mnk zzz his, u,u
M ml p hi sikklp gets sSa assess see ße in as n do can I no how much s hi onlg can j(^^)
So true !
Ha I was just thinking about this... I had cut someone out of my life a few months ago due to toxic behaviour he had displayed and how dependent he was on me.
As much as I had loved and cared for him, I had also grown to resent him. Until the negative emotions grew more while the positives diminished completely. When I look back I see a pitiful person yet I also wasn't properly matured and could be equally as pitiful.
Even if we both matured enough (don't know about him), I don't think I could ever go back.
Ouch
I’m just watching this because INFJs are so cute and I don’t have anything better to do
- ENFP
lol hello comrade
lena y. Surely you do have tons better to do! Now you’re the cute one for being here !
- INFJ
Ahhahahahaha
@@lylepittman8696 lol I officially ship all infj's and enfp's
She is very cute
I'll first befriend the person I like, and quietly observe them for awhile, months even, to see how they react to problems, how they handle situations, how they treat other people, etc. If they react badly to situations, but confess their love for me, I would refuse their proposal, because I don't want to be put into a toxic relationship. If I think they're right for me, I just tell them I like them.
Perfect!!!!
Wisdom! Thanks!😁
Totally! I kind of evaluate them before I let anyone in. I’m known as being too nice but if I’ve come to this conclusion that if ur nice then you won’t get drama. As a INFJ, I loved someone silently for 6 years ( it was unrequited) but everyone around me was like you should be more open... what’s wrong with loving someone quietly? And if I do why does it have to be physical? Can’t I love someone without having to say it directly or show it? Anyways, I just don’t like be extroverted bout meaningful things
I do the same thing, however... I am unsure if my actions is something every crushing INFJ has done or if this is just something I did, but I had a tendency of being hot and cold towards this person. It was practically me testing whether they could handle my tendencies of being the warmest person on earth to a lifeless spawn of Satan's creations. Never in between. Not only am I observing how they do through life experiences and attempt to grip a handle on certain situations. But in my head I determine whether I believe we'd be compatible. I prepare myself for whatever outcome and how I conclude to see how that relationship would run... to then return to the thought of, I'm too immature to get into a relationship.
true
How to tell an iNFJ likes you:
*Ask them*
Heh I'd have a hard time answering it straight, because I save my judgements until I can trust someone.
Well, it would be a start if you would state that. "I will give my opinion when I trust you' ?
Ah heh well then I guess if that's an answer that makes sense to you, then asking will work for you.
I think the other person will prefer that over being 'vague'..since usually when people *do* judge you (other person) you can just sense they have some sort of opinion about you, but you have no idea what it is. It does not really feel very sincere to me when I sense someone is really judging me, but is not telling me about it (directly or indirectly letting me know). If one would state they prefer not to tell something, at least it's honest, and also displays the reasoning why the person is being vague..
When people act like that towards me, it does not encourage me to be myself either, since usually in communication with others both parties make it at least more obvious if they at least like eachother as a person. Acting like friends to a person where you do not get feedback from if even like you as a person, seems odd and counter intuitive. I think INFJ's unintentionally shut out a lot of sincere people with acting so extremely reserved. The people who stick around, might not be the ones who really like you for you, because you're not really showing the whole you. A narcisist does not mind you're not being completely open and will act very, very friendly towards you , which on your turn may make you become more open, but these are not really the persons you generally want to attract.
Ah that explains why the narcissists always seem to try to follow me around. I've learned how to spot them quickly, having roomed with one for a year.
And yes, that is the conflict of the INFJ. I wonder if an INFJ could push another away who was acting the same. (thus being self-contradictory) Thus sometimes I overly bluntly say "I like how you think" or "I like [insert work of person]." Complements are rare for me so I guess those are the way out of the "hole of reservation."
I love watching her glasses slip down and wait for her to push them back up
Hhahahahahaa
It's almost mesmerizing... 😁
Same!!!
Are you an ENFP Bryant? Because I am, and noticed the same :)
@taylorvanamburgh wow I thought I was just being weird about it but I'm not the only one.
She's super cute and her skin is perfect.
Your points really apply to male INFJs as well. The problem is the world expects males to be the "MAN" and take charge, initiate, be aggressive, etc. Totally not the style of an INFJ. Hmm I'm starting to see why we are the rarest type now.
well, some women dont expect men doing the first step.... I totally LOVE shy guys.
Yup sooo true bro
You can still be these things. Don't allow a personality designation to define who you are. It's stupid to force yourself into a label and discard traits that don't fit it so you better fit it and have an identity. Treat it kinda like a horoscope, not all traits are correct.
edit: an example of how I fit and don't fit the INFJ mold is that I can have great empathy, but I can lose all that empathy and become a real sociopath if I am pushed to it. I can also be super aggressive and competitive if it's an area I am interested in, or there is someone that I really want and have no doubts about.
@@Drownedinblood 👏🏻👏🏻
that’s why your type are suitable with ENFP or ENTP because we will make the first move for what we want :) and we do not like being chased.
If I like you as an INFJ, I'll try my best to have an attentive humorous conversation. It's quite obvious that I like you when I remember little details about you and give you either food or a gift or gesture that's meaningful to you. If I let you touch me is a dead give away too
lol being an INFJ is like having a "cat" personality
What does that even mean dude
Yeap...
True. I have a cat and identify a lot with her behavior, moods, and so on. Cats have always been my favorite animals, they’re such a delight. I’ve actually been wondering whether there are more cat persons or dog persons among INFJs.
Lol true. I am definitely a cat hahaha thanks for pointing it out. Exactly my thoughts haha
@@Seca95 same. I can relate I observe cats too.
I stay quiet , when I like you and when I don't like you hahaha.
😂😂😂
Oh hahah i just burst out laughing reading this XD true af
keep ‘em guessing
Nameless Vermillion hahaha true
Nameless Vermillion 😂😂😂😂
the part where you talked about not wanting to be touched by other people I relate to so much !! around my extended family or people I don’t know very well I hate being touched.. but when it comes to someone I’m interested in it’s a different story 🤩
Agreed!
Yep
Same for me!
Yes, when it comes to close friends or significant others I am way more touchy especially with significant others.
So true! You won't believe what my extended family did to me. I opened the door to my cousin's house and overheared someone say "play it now" I knew something bad was going to happen involving me and I knew it'd make me uncomfortable. When I got in I hid in the other room until they forced me out. They proceeded to play the intro to the lion king and dance around me in a circle and then all grabbed and lifted me at the end. I fucking hated it so much. I actually felt like I could be sick lol. But I don't resent them of course. They probably didn't intend to make me uncomfortable or have any I'll intent.
I even feel uncomfortable when my dad hugs me... It's so awkward...
Why are INFJ's so cute? Like you guys are adorable 🥺
-ENFP
❤❤❤
How many infj is watching this to not leave any clue that they like someone.?
😂
infj girl here...all very true !!! add a lot of blushing too
Lmao!! Inbetween blushes, I'm kinda red, anyways... :D
its hard to find a infj girl here :S #anENFPguy
I'm a man but blush a lot if I like someone.....
I'm black so I don't have to worry about blush hahahhahah
@@Alexa-ge5jw So lucky....
NO TOUCHING IF WE DON’T LIKE YOU OR VIBE WITH YOU. Sooo, true. Mere touching, even so little means a lot.
Well you just earned yourself a new sub and not just because you're pretty. Yes I am a male INFJ
I will number the ones like on the list....
1. I will generally will find it difficult to get words past my lips if I like someone on a face to face basis.
2. If I allow you to touch me, it means I trust you enough.
3. I will definitely wait for them to make the first move. As I have been trough a lot, I will be bewildered, but if it's subtle I will mentally calm down and feel more at peace.
4. I don't smile much, but I will when I am with the one I like.
5. I will drop almost everything I am doing to spend time with them.
6. If I like someone, I will give them the secrets of the universe if I could.
7. If I like someone asking them out will not be a problem.
8. I will give you everything I can if someone I like needs it, all the way down to the shirt off my back.
Pretty much so much of this to a T.
If it get's serious I will welcome them with open arms, but it will just be the one.
m3tr01d86
3&7
Explain the fukk
Anonymous to make it simple for number 3, Let's just say I got more knives in my back than a goddamn knife set that you could get for $29.99 and you can even say it's almost like I'm always ready for war. Or just make it even shorter than that, I just don't fucking trust people aside from a few.
For 7, Obviously I don't find a reason why I shouldn't.
Seriously think about it before you ask, because obviously you don't know me and you obviously don't know my ways.
aye, when talking, INFJ's sight is never steady
Too personal
True... and we know that about us
Omg whenever I'm around someone I respect I always keep my head up but I'm never looking at them
I always dart my eyes at anything that isn't the person and I blurr my vision 😂
Too much information to process when looking at someone who is talking lol it's either read their micro expressions and micro tones in their voices or look away and pay attention to what they're saying
Justin Rettig So true. I can't focus on what they're saying if i'm watching at their eyes directly, so i usually watch everywhere else than their eyes.
...we prefer to have that psychological and emotional distance with people we are not interested in because there is no point anyway. Lol-the way you said “because there is no point anyway” was dead on.
As a male INFJ I can confirm that we definitely "stiffen up" around people we like ;).
🤦♀️😂
Just recently started watching vids on INFJs, it's comforting to know that I'm not alone in this
Infj asmr! such a calming voice.
Hahaha I guess I should change up the title now?
as an INFJ male I approve. Definitely ASMR worthy :)
What's asmr?
@@tylerwatson125 Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. ASMR. Best described as a tingle on your scalp/brain. You should check some out on TH-cam just type in ASMR and you'll get hundreds of videos. It's really mainstream now. It wasn't 10 years ago.
As a male.INFJ these are spot on for me. It is nice to see I'm not alone on this. Now if everyone else would recognize the signs as well.
Totally man, totally!!
Same man.
jeremiah wilson Being a male I NFJ is both a blessing and a curse my dude
How is it possible to get a girl acting like that as a guy?!
Same, its totally me.
Yes. All of the yes to the touching thing. I don’t crave touch but if you’re THAT person... feel away.
Yes, "THAT" person, exactly
Exactly
Hahaha no other words to put it, you are spot on!
Myth.... not all INFJ's are shy and insecure. It has a lot to do with their upbringing. Smart parents will be able to nurture and build the right kind of confidence in the child. Being truly loved is a great modifier. Being truly loved, means the child was not pampered, nor sheltered... Yet, never treated cruelly when not pampering and sheltering them. Parents can easily wish to over protect such a child... or, make insensitive demands to try to modify the behavior.
These traits are more about introversion not shyness. They AREN'T the same thing.
Insecurity has nothing to do with it. Who is suggesting we are “insecure”?
I love infjs, literally the most fascinating, most beautiful, most inspiring type :) where the infjs at?? come marry me rn!!
-enfp
There was no laugh react so ha ha ha ha
My thoughts exactly ❤
Male INFJ here ,i
haven't been in a relationship before but crave the things you just said
George Kunda same here 🙂
That’s so funny I did too ! And you see her eyes roll a little because she was upset over the drop lol :) wow this is crazy people who are like me ! And can relate 🥺my heart is happy !
Honestly, me too.
Bro, I feel u I had 1 relationship becaurce anytime I got instand friendzoned and called clingy
As a tactic, I go the opposite route of remaining quiet around someone I'm interested. Instead I act very open and bubbly so that my actual feelings are masked and the person doesn't feel potentially uncomfortable due to the distance I'd prefer was between us :)
Omg yes! Thats exactly what I do.
That is what I do when I'm with my brother I talk to him and give jokes so if my crush comes around I try to continue talking to my brother or smile excessively I don't stay quiet or else someone will notice my heavy breathing
I do that too
Does it work? I need to try that.
@@peaceglory5973 work in what way? Like does it work as an indicator to ler them know I like them or make them feel more comfortable?
When I realize I have a crush on someone. I tend to be in denial. I tell myself, "No, you don't like this guy. No, he doesn't like you either. It was all just a coincidence and you're being delusional." If my feelings still continue... I hide, ignore, and avoid my crush. If I can't see him, if I can't hear him, then it means I won't be able to notice him. It's harder though, when your crush almost always shows up. I start to become paranoid and feel like my crush could be anywhere. Sometimes my crush is just a few centimeters away from me, and it's even harder to push these feelings away!
Eme chi
Apart from infj stare, they'd never know I like them. Ever. I love being touched and to touch BE IN MIND YOU GUYS THE LOVE LANGUAGE OF PERSON. Mine is physical. I love being chased. The more obvious the better.
Yeah I too love being touched. Ever since I was a little kid I was the one running around giving people hugs. Wish it was still appropriate to do it as an adult 😂
My crushes always think I hate them because I can talk to everyone else but them. I can't even look at my crush...
I’m a male infj... and when I like someone I become shy but try to remain confident, I do notice that I become very clumsy around someone I like. Like, I’d try to pull a push door or I’d trip over my own feet. My mind starts to race cuz she’s so pretty, and I’ll try not to be awkward and totally fail because my clumsy ass is so obvious.
Im an infj female, im 40. My crush happend when i was 16 i was dating another, and my crush was his best friend. I cant explain it, but i knew the moment i met him he was my future. He was the best man at my wedding and in every picture it looked like i was my crush's wife. 20 years later here we are exactly the picture i had when i was 16 in love! The thing is i was so shy timid and so very awkward when around him when i was younger. He was the only one i would let touch me out side of family, i would always ask him during the 20 years why he wasnt married and he would look at me like im waiting for you. I cant tell you how spot on i feel ypur video is. But feel confident in your vision of your soulmate because it is very real it takes time but does happen. Love you beautiful human!
at around 16 I felt the exact same way about this guy i've seen at my bus stop a couple times but I felt so weirdly calm. i was feeling really anxious that day because i just came off the train and all the movement always makes me so nervous. as soon as i saw him all of that melted away and i know he's my soulmate because that has NEVER happened. i'm 17 now and just praying i meet him again because i haven't seen him for months now :( I should of not been so distant and quiet because i had no excuse as my anxiety always disappears around him. still hoping he talks to me first though lmao
I'm Just an ENFP researching whether the INFJ I like, likes me as well. She got me at a hello. And I found some signs from her. I hope I clear the misunderstanding between us.
Dude same 😂
As much as I love people, they are exhausting for me. So if I'm actively seeking you out to initiate conversation or spend time in your space, even if I'm not sure what to talk about or what I'm doing there... I'm probably into you. It might look like just showing up to your space for no particular reason, perhaps sitting in some awkward silence and looking unsure of myself. I wouldn't insert myself into an awkward situation if the person wasn't worth my time. I'll also be really interested in your inner workings, and I'll ask questions about you. Also - if I like you, I'll make an effort to polish my appearance. So if I suddenly start dressing up/ smelling of flowers and citrus more than usual, it's on purpose. You will probably never see me disheveled in any way until we've really gotten comfortable. If you do happen to catch a glimpse of me when I'm not put together, there will be slight panic on my face, and I will make as swift of an exit as possible, only returning when I feel presentable. Finally, if you get close to me, I won't move away, and may even try to close the gap myself (very, very cautiously, even if I'm 90% sure you're interested in me).
Biggest sign I do not like you back: If you are dropping hints left and right, spelling it all out, and we still aren't responding/seem oblivious - the feelings are probably not reciprocated. I hate hurting people's feelings, and so I will avoid the subject of romance at all costs. Though I may act as if I am missing all of your hints completely, I am perfectly aware that you like me; I'm just hoping that if I stay oblivious long enough, you'll give up and move on. However, some INFJs have such low self-esteem that they will not consider it a possibility that you might like them, in which case you will need to spell it out for them. If you want to save time, just rip the bandaid off and ask. If the answer is no, do not try to persuade or push - this will land you in the "insufferable people" basket. However, if you accept no for an answer and respect my boundaries without holding a grudge, I may reconsider and approach you in the future.
very good comment and 100% relatable.
Bang on... Even for a male INFJ such as myself. Time is everything with an INFJ... By the amount of time an INFJ is willing to spend with you, you can gage how much they like you... Otherwise they will give seemingly "valid" excuses but always politely... But for real an INFJ will always make time for their few true friends no matter what... unless they absolutley can't. Btw nice channel... And is that an aussie accent i hear?
Yep, it's about time. The idea of saying, "I am with you" in the physical, emotional and metaphorical way all at once.
It seems like my INFJ crush really likes me😊
INFJ male here. Physical touch is reserved for only the closest friends and crushes. If I choose to hug you, know that you are extremely lucky.
Hi, I’m an INFJ and I start to shake uncontrollably whenever I “open up” to someone. Does anybody else have this problem? Is this normal behavior for an INFJ? Or people in general?
It takes a particularly intense emotional state for me to do that, but I can relate. Since we take in so much information about other people and also other's reactions to us, I find that there's sort of an overload when opening up to people. When we open up we're exposing the deeper parts of ourselves, parts that people don't understand. There's an inner battle for acceptance going on. There's the need to articulate our nebulous inner worlds in a way that's true and authentic, which is almost always impossible since we're such complex creatures who don't fully understand ourselves.
For me this happens with any type of confrontation. But definitely your scenario feels familiar too
Have experienced this...would have been great to learn about the types years ago.....but at least now I understand the way life was for me!😁
My foot shook uncontrollably the one and only time I sang karaoke. Luckily no one noticed because I killed with a perfect imitation of Johnny Cash. Funny enough, I found out that I prefer public speaking to karaoke.
Shaking is somatic experiencing and it happens in people, not in specific MBTI types. They say that helps you let go of trauma. I will say it's beyond normal, because most people hold onto it for ages without knowing, and it's actually just a part of trully letting go of that trauma you have around opening up if you fully let the shaking occur.
Love this- all are so very true! I smile uncontrollably when I am speaking to someone I really like.
Reva FoSho thats it!!!
Entp weirdo here...
Had to watch at 2x speed
As an INFJ Male I can confirm that this is 100% accurate for at least one INFJ male 🙃
I Feel You............
I Feel you deep within my Heart,
As tho we were one and not apart,
As tho we were walking on the same Path,
I've Cried your Tears,I,ve laughed your Laugh,
I've screamed at your Pain, i wept at your Joy,
And swam in the River of Love you Deploy,
I Feel you forever,past all and the End,
I Love you my Brother,my Sister,my Friend.
Buzzachino shut up.
Most the things here are true, my infj boyfriend actually asked me out :D but I always initiate touch lol
-ENFP
Actually, I'm an INTJ who is really struggling approaching an INFJ. I'm like 80-95% introverted and I'm completely paralysed each time I see her.
That's... so cute. I hope it worked out for you
that is really cute! i got the opposite problem I like an intj guy and I am always so nervous i only talk shit and my brain just doesnt work anymore... I'm sure he now thinks that I'm stupid... I'm not kidding i forget 4 years worth of knowledge of what i have an BSc on... My brain just switches off and leaves me behind like i just lost 30 IQ points...
if u would want to start with the weather.. maybe instead of asking "do u like the rain?" for example, you can instead ask, "if u were to like something about the rain, what would it be?"
that could make them think of something to like about rain even if they may actually prefer the sun. instead of asking a question answerable by a yes or no, it'll at least make them think and INFJs love to think.
How do you know she's an INFJ? Have you spoken before??
@@fifia4618 it actually got me thinking.. maybe people have this impression that if that person looks intimidating to approach, that person must either fall under the INTJ or the INFJ category..lol..
Don't forget the initial push away if you don't know enough about the person and you feel like you're committing too much too soon because they come on really strong. They might be a really nice person but if I don't know enough to decide as fast as you seem to have chosen me.. my first inner response is "get away from me in such a familiar way, I don't know you" come back later with a lighter approach and I can get to know you and easier be able to decide whether or not I want to approach a commitment /relationship.
I stiffened up just imagining being around someone I found attractive right as you started talking about stiffening up. My heart rate is up hahaha.
We adore, when people take initiative towards us like an old schooler. You get more of a reaction from us, when you take initiative towards us and only if you can tell we like you romantically
If we make time for you, within our own schedules. Then we want to spend it with you, alone only ❤️🙏🏾👑 because we didn't agree to spend time with a shit load of other people that we haven't agreed to
Why do people find it easier to accept, the non black identifying individuals as INFJ personality type??
Like even the people who don't really know about us, still feel like they can speak on who THEY ASSUME we actually are
As a male INFJ ..... U were down to the point. I don't think sex really influenced how an INFJ thinks lol 😂. True .... As u said; That as a male u are expected to be the one coming forward 🤧
ooohh i love your gentle voice
A good description, but beside the subject it will be Worth to Warn INFJ`s of toxic people, which can be so harmful to an INFJ, even destructive.
Regards.
Thanks for the valuable feedback! And of course - healthy INFJs know better to not associate themselves with potentially toxic people. Our desire to help others may make us especially vulnerable to being taken advantage of because we tend to the see the best in people (at least for me), but even "toxic" people deserve a chance to be heard and counselled. If it becomes too much for us, we usually resort to a doorslam anyway haha.
//If it becomes too much for us, we usually resort to a doorslam anyway haha. //
If we can recognize the problem on time, but my 20 years of experience with wife a "quiet" borderline, and research telling that realationships with toxic people is nearly a pattern for INFJ`s, all that tells otherwise. There is possibility that such kind of problems is for our growth but how can we tell. There is an interesting concept of Tolle`s "pain body" at work which is worth to explore.
// Our desire to help others... //
On that I want share with You what I put in comments hire:
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I was in an abusive marriage.. He was bipolar. I am all set to be alone the rest of my life and I AM HAPPY!
Exactly!
Thanks for the tips. ENFP here and i like an INFJ
Course i edited my comment. I question everything i do haha
ENFP here, Just came on this page to get some infj energy :)) < *sigh
infj male here. very accurate.
Good to know! Are there any more signs that are specific to INFJ males that I've left out??
INFJ male here ^^
Those points where very accurate indeed.
In the past i did those things (trying to skip smalltalk and engaging into personal conversation and spending a whole day with one person only) with people i was not interested in having a relationship with(but whom i knew to be other INFJs, girls obviously), two, though
Make INFJ I agree as well. Funny how I don't fear running into burning buildings, but approaching new people....
ENTP here - I naturally attract to INFJ. You guys are awesome
Very accurate for me, male INFJ here.
Totally agree with your points, especially being shy and wanting to "pick their mind," or just being very enthusiastic & curious about them(their heart, mind).
infj guy here; I relate to all the points you have just made when it comes to liking a girl.
This past saturday my crush told me she was sick with the stomach flu - not being able to eat or drink anything.
I ended up searching for an article to help her get through it/have it go away quickly. ;; -
it took me a hot minute since I needed to make sure I read the whole thing so i knew it was going to provide her with the best advice ~
ENTP here and i just found out that my man is INFJ
I - ISFP - can actually tell you are an INFJ. that's crazy. by the way you speak your words. The feeling I get reminds me very much of a friend of mine who is an INFJ as well.
I have a spezial thing for INFJs. I like them they are very beautiful mind and heart.
I'm an ISFP getting mixed signals from an INFJ so I've taken to watching INFJ videos *sigh*
Professional collector of INFJs reporting in. All of these points are true for INFJ men and women. Basically cats. You do stiffen up, yes it's noticable and kinda adorable. And yes, you have to approach first, but hang back a few feet until they come to you. The most important point...I think that you missed...is they invite you into their latest ideas/hobbies/and goals. No small talk...sure...but you're happy to avoid talking about yourselves. So it's deep talks about the universe, life, and myself. But you really avoid opening up. I think inviting to share your hobbies/goals/and ideas is prolly a huge step for an INFJ.
So accurate. Especially the touching part. When someone you like touches you, you literally feel it throughout your whole body until they let go. It’s awesome.
I think it's very accurate, even for INFJ male. I relate to what you've said.
Thanks for the video I've enjoyed watching it :)
If I feel a person is good in the beginning I'd try to stay near them, if I feel that there's a wall I don't talk to them at all. That applies for friends and love interests alike.
Can relate!
I'm INFJ male, and I'm at the point now where I will only date INTP or a fellow INFJ. I've never been with the latter that I know of, but the Logician was certainly a special bond.
Same thoughts about INTP’s but i only met or be friend intp’s online hahaha
@winonaevergarden1981 I worked with one for quite a long time, and we clicked immediately and clearly just meshed better than any other two people at work. Like a club of 2 people that others werent allowed in, conversations included. I only knew my own type and had never read much about others, but she was just such a fascinating person to me that I had to know. So I asked eventually if she'd ever read about the subject, and wouldn't you know it INTP. And once I read in depth about Logicians everything made sense. I can't say I've had a connection that was at all like that one with anyone else I've ever met. 1000% I'd marry an INTP woman. If you suspect you know one just ask in some organic kind of way, a real one won't mind answering or finding out for their own curiosity.
Why is that...aren't you guys demi sexuals...how the fk would that work with an intp. They are robots
@@noktumwhatever753 wish you best of luck to find one. I'm a female INTP who has an INFJ bf. We have been dating long distance for over 2 years now and still going strong. We do meet each other irl multiple of times already though so it's not reall online dating only haha. In few years hoping to move to his country to live with him
I want to give you some advice
(Yes I am talking to you)
If you like someone approach them and purpose them
(Yes after evaluating each other)
If he/she likes you
They will accept otherwise reject
If get rejected then move on because first impression is last impression (once rejected you can't be accepted)
Whether you like it or not this is Truth (find new partner)
And don't become depressed you will get your love with time
(If you are emotionally healthy)
It’s so scary how all of this relates so much to my experiences
Male entp talking, my girlfriend is an infj and It is pretty accurate
I literally avoided my first crush at all costs whenever he talked to me because I was so nervous I'd say something stupid . Also, I never got close enough to him to analyze his personality so I wasn't sure how he would react to my personality and the things I could say.
I'm an INFJ Simga male. I've learned to initiate and "cross all the bridges", which basically means shoulder the responsibility and make all the first moves, i.e. approach, getting contact info, asking for date, escalating kino, etc...
As an INFJ guy I can say that most of this applies to INFJ guys too. The main differences I think are that for guys, we have a tension between wanting to pursue someone and sort of be respected while also wanting to be pursued, like you said. So that part is there but maybe not quite as strong in guys.
Time is SUCH a huge thing! So many other types don't seem to get this about INFJs. If I make time for you, that means I care. If you don't make time for me, it communicates a great lack of care. The people I am closest to are the people who consistently make time for me and appreciate me making time for them :)
I can relate to this so much, Everyone says im a cold person with a rude personality, but im just a person who is very honest. Since small, I have always had these thoughts filling my head, But when I found someone that was fit for me I turned into a tsundere, I turned into this totally different person, I acted so clumsy and stammered a lot, So I just stayed quiet and watched him for months, until he approaches me.
SAME ! I also turn into a tsundere even though I don't want to lol... it's embarrassing to have feelings.... 😣
As an INFJ guy, I like it when a girl approaches me. When they give me signs, I just need something more than that and I get so much stick for that.
Yes, these are absolutely correct for me as well (INFJ here). Your explanations of each point made me smile, bc they were so accurate and so well expressed. Thank you for taking the time you took to get introspective and get clear on this list, and thank you for making the video to share with everyone interested.
She is literally so point accurate about each and everything she told.... Relatable af 😅
It's amazing how spot on accurate this video is.
I am solidly INFJ, for decades. Anyone who is fake or has no meaningful conversation ability... I am finished with already. This includes everybody I have contact with.
END
Sometimes, close friends I have had for years suddenly change, time with them is no longer quality or becomes fake or is too short, and I just go away politely. I am not mad or hurt... I am just finished.
Since our intuition rules our thoughts and therefore our actions, we already know future outcomes before they occur... in others but also ourselves.
We are magnets to those seeking help and these people are not fake and yes, they provide very meaningful conversations... and always there seems to be a certain kind of love there. For me, these people are hardest to leave... but when we part they do know and appreciate knowing someone cared enough to help.
One would think true love would find an INFJ. For me, not so. I find answers for other people, it is rewarding in that respect. I lack answers for me, curiously.
Looking back, it just seems like I love others at a deeper level and give them much of my time, unselfishly not expecting anything in return. I expect appreciation, but not love.
So, why does this happen a lot? Because others immediately know they can trust me. They give me their life story in 5 minutes! And just that quick, likewise, I give them good advice. And I care for their cause too, genuinely I care.
Young INFJs: You will have satisfaction helping others. You will have just a few good friends. But watch out for narcissists, they are the worst threat an INFJ faces. You won't know they are takers only, until you cannot help them. Then they start to demand your help.
Advice: As a test, make an excuse to not help, and gauge their reaction. If they get angry, mad, hurt, or threatening... just leave. They are capable of anything when confronted with the prospect of losing your help.
Prettttyyyy accurate...i actually thought the touching thing was just me being wierd...anyway great vid keep up the awesome work...i definitely need more👏👏👏👏you say things i am unable to put into words.
I just went on a date last week, she talked a lot about her job, hobbies, adventures, etc. Me as a male INFJ, talked about my parents, my best friends, my most traumatic experiences, etc.. She thinks I'm a dark and boring person haha... and then my guilt made me text her let's just be friends because we're not compatible... She must be thinking I'm such a weird person.. haha
INFJ male here and this is spot on! I couldn't believe how much I smiled at each sign because they're so true!
idk how to explain it, but when someone i like is around, i just smile, like it’s hard not too.
I am an ENFP and most the girls I have dated are INFJs. Most of the time in my experience the INFJ will approach me first, or stalk me on Facebook, or start a back and forth banter.
Cute! I'm currently with an ENFP - really loving how similar yet different we are.
Ah yes I love being chased. Kinda sound like I lure them into a relationship, but it's just a thing I do, you know. Most of my relationships started out like that, and I never really found the right explanations until now. Thank you!
Ahh i think i understand how it feels to be a male infj.. the different is i'm an enfp female, and i want to take charge and initiative for things, too bad society expects me to be less aggresive:(
As an INFJ male, I wear my emotions on my sleeve, so if I like a woman you will be able to tell! 😂
This is exactly me! Every single one. Spot on for a male INFJ!
i just realised .......all those perfect people in the movies who knew what the other person was thinking and knew when to empathise with them and help them out of the down were all infjs.......all the single but perfect when it comes to relationship advice people in the movies were infjs XD
She's so on point about giving and romance. It's so hard finding the right person to be like this with.
I love my personal space. And I am attracted to people who respect that. Both physically and emotionally
As an INTJ I like the sweetness and femininity that women INFJs exude, but I don't think I could ever be with one deeply romantically. The reason is that you seem so delicate and consciencious that you don't deserve my bad side. I could never ruin an INFJ. But you can't live and share a life with a person wihtout your bad side show up and perhaps even set the mood and pace. You INFJs deserve better natured people. You guys look like the type that is sitting with crossed legs balancing on a stone plate on top of a pyramid. I couldn't preturb your ballance, you deserve to have good options, and not someone that also has trouble keeping their own equilibrium.
Sem Nome as infj that’s surprisingly sweet 😂 this kind of honesty from intj is what makes your type is adorable actually lol
@@butwhy8126 It can be, but it call also be seen like the most horrible thing. I've told people things that I know no one would have told them, that helped them but made me look like an horrible person. I got to live with those thoughts for ages, that contradiction of hurting someone you care for, to protect them on the long run. It's a bit lonely to be abandoned and be seen as a bad person, but I know why I did it, and that's the only way I can protect someone.
I've seen this image saying INTJs are "black knights" (as opposed to white knights) and I can agree with that. We help when no one would, pay a horrible price, not get the credit, and have the person even leave thinking you are the worst, but I can have my clear conscience on what I did and who I am. Sometimes I'm scared of what I could do to protect someone I care for. I'm sure that's one of the reasons why I keep so many people at bay, caring too much can be unhealthy, we are no longer in the jungle surrounded by predators and foreign tribes (this made me think of the movie Apocalypto). We can be overly intense when pushed and that's not okay, in society all that's needed is temperance.
If you ever need help from an INTJ look into our eyes, and if they have a shine that is hidding a burning fire, they will help you to their own detriment. I know I will.
You really remind me of Tina Yong!
But love the video! I can definitely relate to the touching thing LOL and the "thirst for knowledge," I really like knowing how people think!
I can relate to this, I just started trying to understand why I am the way I am and found out I am a INFJ. This video makes total sense and I am this way. Thank you for making this video.
this is so me..& i hate when they ask do u like me cas u never talk ...im like nooo im shy
I FULLY agree with all of these points! The only thing I don't 100% agree on is showing all of my emotions. I try my hardest to hide some of my emotions. Some are harder for me to hide than others. My personality has always been strange to me. I feel like I bounce back and forth from one extreme to another. I'm typically very 'reserved' and quiet but I have surprised myself on multiple occasions and done very bold things that I wouldn't typically do if I'm interested in someone.
As an ENFP, I agree....very compatible personality types. I think you’ve described INFJ females very accurately. Very well done, thank you.
When I like someone, that person won't ever know until it's too late.
Anyways hahaha 😅❤
Every part related to me so well. 100% accurate. Especially the part about being inspired by the more outgoing... I wish I could make the first move. I just don't have it in me. Then it's too late...
As a male INFJ in Highschool, I get really effervescent around girls I like and get more comfortable with physical contact. I am comfortable with that at normal times as well. Also, I love to smile around crushes and friends as well. However, in group situations I like to take a leading role in getting the conversation going, but then will withdraw to take joy in watching my friends chat. That's the most fun thing for me, see my friends' joy. I really agree with everything else you postulate. 😁
Damned. I initiated several times if I was really interested in someone. I finally married someone who didn't play games and knew what he wanted. I have been married for 12 years now. Good luck finding someone who values you as much as you value everything. My husband excels at massages and never refuses. I'm beginning to feel unspecial, why are you spilling my files!! Great video.
Hi Jenn, Thank you for your story. You are spot on! I am a INFJ Male it has only taken me years to understand my interactions with other people (putting yourself last, help others first, frustrating at times). I tick every box in that list. Take care and thanks
A beautiful gentle understanding description. I'm learning that the boundaries of receiving are essential too. No more 'just me putting in' X
as an INFJ i cant disagree with you. practically because i did it all