The Paradox of Grief | Julia Samuel | TEDxBath
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ธ.ค. 2023
- Can pain do good?
As a child I learnt that denial was the only way to manage sadness and loss.
We will all grieve, yet we turn away from facing death, and are therefore ignorant and unable to help ourselves when it does happen.
We learn that grieving is a form of learning, and that pain, unfortunately, is the agent of change. Pain is the curative part of grief; it is how we heal. we adapt and grow through loss.
We learn that the very thing we least want to do, is the very thing we most need to do. We also discover that our love for the person who dies remains, and even grows.
When we allow ourselves to grieve we discover that we are forever changed by it, and that change is experienced as growth.
So, yes, when it comes to grief, pain can do good.
Julia Samuel MBE is a leading UK psychotherapist who worked for decades in the NHS. She has held many roles in the charitable sector. She is Founder Patron of Child Bereavement UK an organisation she played a significant part for 25 years. She is a Vice President of BACP. Honorary Doctorate by Middlesex University.
Julia's three books, all Sunday Times bestsellers, Grief Works, This Too Shall Pass and she published Every Family Has a Story in 2022, the USA edition published November 2022. Her books have been published in 17 foreign territories.
She has written for all the national newspapers and broadcast on many TV and radio programmes. Her new podcast series Therapy Works was released in October and was immediately in the top 10 Apple charts, no 1 on mental health.
In 2021 Julia produced a 5* rated app for those who grieve, Grief Works - a 28 day course to support you in your grief which has been 5* rated, Apple featured it numerous times as a recommended and trending app. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Thank you Julia. I have read your books, listened to your podcast and completed the course on your app. I have also attended your Zoom workshops. Thank you for helping me to see a way through my grief journey following the loss of my husband in August. ❤
1. We need to share with others, to feel it (in and out of the pain)
2. Dual process: Oscillation between loss orientation and restoration orientation.
3. We're not the same. After a cascade of pain, it diminishes. Connect to the person who's died. The relationship continues. The Love never dies. ❤
I really appreciate the way Julia Samuel communicates her message. I first heard her speak on Action for Happiness & although that was a number of years ago I still thought to search her again on TH-cam today
I love this and need this
Same
Dual processing theory is good but the theory of Worden as we move through task has been more useful to me. You hotta accept it first in order to process and welcome our feelings and pain. It is up to each therapist to advise thwir clients/ patients to the right theory that woyld be more useful.
🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉love her
Thank you for this talk.
Going through grief is so difficult as you have to sit with the pain...but how do you navigate complex grief? I have found so much information regarding my husband who passed and his double life which has left me swimming in insurmountable grief. You finish with remembering them through music,food etc...these a triggers for me. Advice?
They are triggers for me too, I think with time it gets easier.. we’ll only music has for me…
What are you finding in his double life?
My husband died just a year ago this month. All the letters/cards he got from work and other colleagues are a great comfort to me. He was a modest man so I only found all this while clearing out the archive at home. Take the good things with you...... I've made plastic folders for all the years and given them titles to indicate the happy times we had together. Wishing you great strength to grieve. ❤That fight and his struggle is over. You're doing what all of us in this situation are doing only it's a slow process. Reinventing your life.
Complex grief is complex as it is described but you need to see a proper therapist for help. Look at some bereavement counselling . If it last more than 3 months you most likely areooming at CG. Seek help immediately.
I'm so tired of these big egos trying to debunk Elizabeth kubler's Ross work. She never said that The stages are linear and fashion and I think the 5 stages of grief absolutely help to identify those 5 major emotions and phases that we go through. Not everyone will experience all 5 and again it is not linear but she never said it would be.