How To Have "Perfect" Social Skills

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ย. 2017
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    Graham Norton has what many people would consider their ideal charisma - for two reasons.
    One, Graham Norton doesn’t need to hog the spotlight in order to shine. And two, Graham Norton seems to have the ability to make ANYONE like him. From rockstars to movie stars to professional athletes, people from all walks of life seem to love being around him.
    So today we’re going to talk about a 4 step formula that Graham Norton uses to make people love him even while he teases them, and how you can use it to make yourself both funnier and more well liked.
    0:34 Graham Norton creates a warm and positive connection
    1:26 Graham Norton compliments especially on Graham Norton Show
    2:55 How to be funnier and how to make people like you
    5:33 How to use banter and teasing to get everyone on the same level
    9:00 Graham Norton does the art of self deprecation
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ความคิดเห็น • 1.3K

  • @Grimm472
    @Grimm472 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4485

    Learning to socialize is like learning a foreign language from scratch.

    • @suaptoest
      @suaptoest 5 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      You nailed it! I just thought that there's much to change before he would become popular here.
      First of all, new body language!

    • @aviozstudio4903
      @aviozstudio4903 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      exactly

    • @milenamijuskovic2340
      @milenamijuskovic2340 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@suaptoest verbs

    • @lia-ww2fp
      @lia-ww2fp 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I feel attacked

    • @dancechica
      @dancechica 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It certainly feels that way to me

  • @sabahaltaf2285
    @sabahaltaf2285 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2419

    Jimmy Fallon never clicked on a video so fast

    • @HaloLvl43Legit
      @HaloLvl43Legit 5 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      Exactly what I was thinking. It's like he's a robot trying to emulate this, but failing. He just fake laughs at everything and tries to force jokes and compliments. It all feels artificial.

    • @KaylaSaysRawwr
      @KaylaSaysRawwr 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      I love me some jimmy fallen but I don’t hate on his awkwardness to be honest I just think he’s some awkward dude bad at jokes who managed to climb up in the interview world so not fake but good for him getting there. Amazing accomplishment for someone who may struggle with being funny or whatever

    • @HBSuccess
      @HBSuccess 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Absolute consummate phony, or at least that is how he comes off. I can't watch The Tonight Show anymore (Grew up with Carson.. Liked Leno....Liked Connan...)

    • @AGFuzzyPancake
      @AGFuzzyPancake 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@KaylaSaysRawwr It sure is amazing for him. It'd be an amazing if I were the president too but like Jimmy Fallon I'm not amazing for the people.

    • @Pos608
      @Pos608 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      LMFAOOOO

  • @BalancedEarth
    @BalancedEarth 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1871

    I'd like to see a video about someone doing the exact opposite of charisma and breaking apart how they could have improved. Whether that be a character from a movie or an actual interview.

    • @mostlyvoid04
      @mostlyvoid04 6 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      yes!!

    • @ProdbyLex849
      @ProdbyLex849 6 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Watch the Will Smith vs Jaden Smith video

    • @merlinohtwotwooh7777
      @merlinohtwotwooh7777 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      That would actually be really cool to see, even if its a character I'd love to see them break down ways to improve charisma in the moment.

    • @Alex-ki1yr
      @Alex-ki1yr 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      WhirlwindSkies +

    • @vaibhavguptawho
      @vaibhavguptawho 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I think they have a Ned Stark video that does what you're asking for.

  • @louisefox4852
    @louisefox4852 5 ปีที่แล้ว +753

    Graham Norton is a genuinely nice guy. Being genuine is really, really important. And he's sharp and clever. He's not forced, he's spontaneous.

    • @johnevans9665
      @johnevans9665 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      errrrm I met him lol hes not that nice to non-famous people

    • @louisefox4852
      @louisefox4852 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@johnevans9665 that's such a pity! So sorry to hear that! Maybe you caught him on an 'off' day?!

    • @johnevans9665
      @johnevans9665 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@louisefox4852 well yes I can imagine it would be really annoying if everyone knew you but you dodnt know them lol

    • @louisefox4852
      @louisefox4852 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@johnevans9665 yes, not sure if I could cope with that to be honest!

    • @lisahannah5675
      @lisahannah5675 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@johnevans9665 As someone who works in the UK entertainment industry, I can vouch for that too. Important thing to remember is that he's *paid* to be endearing on his show to his guests. It's not a barometer for how he is in real life. He's not the worst by far out there though.

  • @micha781000
    @micha781000 5 ปีที่แล้ว +363

    1 Warm friendly vibe, smile, touch, compliment based on accomplishment
    2 humor, and make them feel you get them, laugh along with other's joke
    more time listening than speaking
    3 playfull teasing gives a familiar feeling (dont attack identity, dont tease about something that can not be changed). Best if earlier before, a compliment.
    4 listens intently and focused, let the other talk. To be intersting by being intetested, eyecontact

    • @gxrsky
      @gxrsky 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Micha Vlijmen, van I always look for that kind of comment, thx

    • @lanellmalone3023
      @lanellmalone3023 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thx

    • @dluque35
      @dluque35 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Love these. Feel like people nowadays try to WIN over the room and impose power, rather than feeling the vibe out and making everyone feel comfortable. :) need more people like this in the world GVO baby

    • @ladyslick121
      @ladyslick121 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      i love you. thank you for this

    • @PinupSticknerd
      @PinupSticknerd 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Appreciate u sir 🫡

  • @samuelvoges1383
    @samuelvoges1383 3 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    Great video which is worth watching
    A small summary:
    1. Create a warm positive connection at the beginning of the interaction
    1. Smile and touch (search for little hints/Hinweise how the person likes to be greeted/welcomed)
    2. Make others feel good with complement based on their accomplishment
    2. Made others lough
    1. Use a wide range of vocal tonality and emotional expression to get a lough
    2. Laughing along with someone else’s jokes (you make them feel like you’re listening to them) remember that laughter and happiness are habits that you can cultivate
    3. Combining achievement-based compliments the person is proud of, playful teases and self deprecating jokes you can tease people while they lough and love you.
    1. Whoever you’re teasing should be laughing along with you
    2. By playfully giving each other a hard time you immediately create a familiar feeling
    3. Be careful don’t attack someones identity and don’t tease something that is unchangeable and important to them
    4. Set the stage by making a sincere complement and you are able to tease little things without offending anyone
    5. Dont make yourself the but of every joke
    4. Be an active listener Dale Carnegie „to be interesting, be interested"

  • @Danik0301987
    @Danik0301987 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4099

    no the first step Graham does is gets his guests drunk.

    • @u00drk1
      @u00drk1 6 ปีที่แล้ว +172

      Yeah, he was on Colbert's show recently and admitted that's how he gets people to talk.

    • @MrALHADE
      @MrALHADE 6 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      Kazakh Gamer "does is gets" - RIP English

    • @aminab6075
      @aminab6075 6 ปีที่แล้ว +255

      Yet it can't be denied that Graham has an extremely likeable, charismatic and witty personality. Anyway, its not like he's forcing the drinks down their throats! His mentioning of 'liquoring them up' on Colbert's show was a bit of light, British humour which seems to have been awfully misinterpreted within the short time since he was interviewed.

    • @ohhifart1106
      @ohhifart1106 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      hahaha nailed it! there's also drinks backstage ;)

    • @Achw3l
      @Achw3l 6 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      u00drk1 That's just another self deprecating joke lol

  • @popland1977
    @popland1977 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1291

    I think a LOT of Irish people are naturally friendly, complimentary and seek out humour and therefore are widely liked. The accents of Ireland are also very musical so he changes his pitch a lot

    • @MomasBoyOnline
      @MomasBoyOnline 6 ปีที่แล้ว +107

      Pop Land I'm Irish and can confirm that characters like Graham are very common here, just from my colleagues alone I can think of three of them that could easily engage anyone in the same way Graham does. However, Graham seems to lightly tease people here but in reality the Irish can actually be very harsh in teasing each other so we grow immune to taking offence and learn to laugh things off. It's to the point that many tourists and migrants here even question if we're being malicious but it's really all l said "for the craic" and not meant to really cause hurt or offence

    • @octaviancaesarhibernicus4447
      @octaviancaesarhibernicus4447 6 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Pop Land I don't know you're nationality but here in Ireland we have what's called "craic",which is having a good time, usually by friends making jokes at other friends expense,and receiving as good as you give. It's part of our culture and it usually happens when we get drunk, well it does when me and my mates get drunk, I shouldn't speak for everyone .

    • @wcgcjd
      @wcgcjd 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      No not really

    • @cathalsurfs
      @cathalsurfs 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      You're on the ball there girl! Fair play to ye! :)

    • @Toven_WaveWatcherFi
      @Toven_WaveWatcherFi 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yeah, aslo funny how a huge number of friendly charcthers in games/movies have irish accents. It really helps.

  • @ch-p2861
    @ch-p2861 6 ปีที่แล้ว +749

    Graham Norton is definitely the best talk show host in the world.

    • @vickirosstudor490
      @vickirosstudor490 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      :-p :-D mmmm...no.

    • @PeopleHealthTru
      @PeopleHealthTru 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Best in the world if you want the whole world to act homosexual. It's called homosexual flirting, not 'charisma.' He's not a 'magnetic' or desirable mate to a normal person.

    • @abraham8565
      @abraham8565 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@PeopleHealthTru what do you mean by that?

    • @lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559
      @lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559 5 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      @@abraham8565 what he means is that he's a troll - probably typed his comment from his parents' basement, which he hasn't left in years, lol.

    • @M0kki
      @M0kki 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@vickirosstudor490 mmmm...yes.

  • @alyxisfuentes6596
    @alyxisfuentes6596 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    My stepson is 14 and entering the realm of being included in more conversations involving adults. This has been helpful for him. As often he’s the youngest, these tips are helpful to remind him he has plenty to offer a conversation

  • @earl-grey-milk-tea
    @earl-grey-milk-tea 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1439

    Can you do more videos on charismatic women, please? A lot of your videos focus on male speakers/personalities and some of the humour or techniques that they use work better in a 'bro' setting or don't always come across well when delivered by a woman - there's something in that society also likes women to be refined and polite. There's a lot of women who don't necessarily use humour all the time, but manage to command respect and have that sense of magnetism around them - some of the TED speakers come to mind as an easy example.

    • @mel818
      @mel818 6 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      The one about Adele is amazing!

    • @benjaminaltman4895
      @benjaminaltman4895 6 ปีที่แล้ว +87

      Hi C! Absolutely plan to do more women as well as men. Our most popular video ever is actually on Ellen Degeneres. Did you like the recent one on Margaery Tyrell?

    • @TheBlurr12
      @TheBlurr12 6 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Benjamin Altman Tina Fey please!

    • @sassymedea3065
      @sassymedea3065 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Jenna Gray Its British banter its all in good fun.

    • @kokolatte825
      @kokolatte825 6 ปีที่แล้ว +72

      C that's such a great comment! I was thinking the whole time about how to apply these steps to my own life as a woman and I don't think they will translate as well. Especially with "touching" without coming across as flirty and joking which I think comes across as witty for men and "bitchy" for women.

  • @goodgirl140
    @goodgirl140 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1335

    I've been waiting for you guys to do Graham Norton for a while now! He is the most witty and likable person I know. Love him!

    • @HotStrange
      @HotStrange 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      goodgirl140 indeed! Didn't take me long to become obsessed with his show either.

    • @figotlatenby588
      @figotlatenby588 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Currently watching him right now.

    • @jakubgruda354
      @jakubgruda354 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      goodgirl140 You actually know Graham Norton?
      What's he like?

    • @CommenceComments
      @CommenceComments 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      How long have you known him?

    • @octaviancaesarhibernicus4447
      @octaviancaesarhibernicus4447 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      goodgirl140 I wonder is he shown in America,?

  • @chilliard120
    @chilliard120 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Graham Norton is, hands down, better than any other talk show host currently on TV. And I'm including the U.S. in that, because his show feels so genuine and he seems like he's having a genuine conversation with each and every one of his guests. Top video, well done guys!

  • @earl-grey-milk-tea
    @earl-grey-milk-tea 6 ปีที่แล้ว +188

    Would like to add that in the bit about reading body language, in both cases Graham approaches with his hand held slightly out to be ready for a handshake. He notices Josh Widdicombe coming in with shoulders slightly more forward (more awkward) and with his hand outstretched, therefore he uses the handshake + back pat (caveat - back patting doesn't work so well if you're female). Jeremy Renner enters with his shoulders set back and open body language, which might indicate being open to a hug.

    • @Serai3
      @Serai3 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Exactly. The most important aspect of Graham's physical connections with his guests is how he takes his cues from what they are comfortable with. Mark of an excellent host.

    • @artemisstrong5113
      @artemisstrong5113 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      No, Jeremy Renner clearly opened his arms for a hug -- he initiated it. He's an American, and an actor -- you should already know he'd be more demonstrative than a Brit. Plus, this is not Norton's first meeting with either one of them. And they've certainly interacted that day before the taping began. Also, please be cautious: what Norton does is way too much for real life. This is a TV show.

  • @anewloveofficial9137
    @anewloveofficial9137 6 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I instantly like someone who has a sense of humor and possess the ability of making fun of himself in order to give people a comfortable feeling towards him. Everybody wants to be happy no matter how bad the situation is, so it's not bad to carry a joke everywhere you go, atleast you can make people smile in every little things you do.

  • @alibarbi664
    @alibarbi664 6 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    If you wanna improve your relationships this is the only channel in the world that makes you feel like you REALLY learnt something at the end of the video. Thank you soooo much!

    • @alibarbi664
      @alibarbi664 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      We're not talking about 3 technics. Everything can be learnt and if you wanna learn charisma you start studying it and you finish living it. My relationships have improved since I started watching ALL their videos and reading their book. Of course it takes effort, it's not about watching videos and than "done!". You study, you apply these advices , you try, you fail, you observe what's wrong in your behaviors, you continue studying and than you succeed.

  • @combatwombat2134
    @combatwombat2134 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    A side note, I love the way he encourages guests to tell a story or remind them the details without giving away anything necessary to the build-up or punchline.

  • @_pudu661
    @_pudu661 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Biggest takeaway for me:
    - Don’t be so serious, learn to laugh at yourself. Nobody is perfect and being overly critical of yourself ruins the experience for yourself and for others because you’ll be in a negative vibe.
    - always give genuine detailed compliments over general generic compliments . Something specific that may matter to the person. Ex. Nice shirt vs You have great style I really like it!
    - compliment before any teasing.
    - when teasing don’t attack someone’s identity, don’t tease something that is unchangeable or important to them . (Example, if they have acne or sexual orientation)

  • @Raf_Avila
    @Raf_Avila 6 ปีที่แล้ว +552

    We're interested in others when they're interested in us

    • @muchalucha4939
      @muchalucha4939 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      But then how will they become interested in you, when you're not interested in them yet?!
      Shouldn't the same theory apply to the other side!
      This is similar to "what came first, the chicken or the egg?" dilemma all over again :D (I'm team chicken)

    • @Raf_Avila
      @Raf_Avila 6 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Haha I totally agree! Show genuine interest in others first and the natural human instinct will be for them to reciprocate

    • @steampunkthing2716
      @steampunkthing2716 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Not true at all

    • @sammysamsoccer
      @sammysamsoccer 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Actually so true

    • @pavoljuraj7020
      @pavoljuraj7020 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Red Smurf
      You can't say it's true, because it is not generally true. It only *might* be true among people you know (coworkers, classmates, neighbors, ...). If you stop someone on street that you've never seen before and you will show interest in how's his day or how is he, even if your interest will be 100% honest, you won't become friends. You will be most likely told to mind your own business...

  • @gumersindocebollero3261
    @gumersindocebollero3261 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2315

    this channel is a great tool for robots

    • @bashyre6877
      @bashyre6877 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Gumersindo Cebollero what do u mean?

    • @bloodhooded
      @bloodhooded 6 ปีที่แล้ว +152

      For robots like me. You're right, Gumersindo Cebollero. Mentioning your name so you will like me more. Ha-ha-ha.

    • @gumersindocebollero3261
      @gumersindocebollero3261 6 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      Bash Yre so they can learn to act like real people, like me haha, I also enjoy social activities and f.r.i.e.n.d.s. haha

    • @PatrickFoxGaming
      @PatrickFoxGaming 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Computer says no...

    • @IluvinortheIneffable
      @IluvinortheIneffable 6 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      or sociopaths

  • @PersonalPower
    @PersonalPower 6 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    I am not really good at making compliments but I can confirm, humor and self deprecation is incredible. If you can laugh about yourself with confidence you are already good to go! If you tease you can go over board, but if you make jokes about yourself you can't really go wrong! We all like to laugh! If you want someone to like you, make them associate a positive emotion with your character. When they associate fun and laughter with you, then they will enjoy being around you and search for your presence. Good to see a fellow TH-cam deconstructing celebrities social skills! I really enjoyed this one, probably because I like graham norton!

  • @mannelshah
    @mannelshah 6 ปีที่แล้ว +79

    to be fair, that mark ruffalo joke caught us all off gard in it was RELLY hillarious i don't think anyone would not LOL at it, it still make me laugh even tho i watched it alot of times.

    • @absoledge
      @absoledge 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      mannelshah what's it in reference to? Just his general appearance?!

    • @strangulator123
      @strangulator123 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      That's HIS spontaneity that makes him more likeable.

  • @nbrikha
    @nbrikha 6 ปีที่แล้ว +205

    Please remember that Graham has a team of people doing research on his guests so he knows what he can and cannot make fun of. His personal charm and people skills aside, it'd be difficult for him to do this show week after week without them. Just saying it helps to know the person, or at least a few details before you start poking fun at them. You never know what can be a sensitive subject to someone so keeping it light can be difficult for serious people at first.

    • @SisterFromAnotherPlanet
      @SisterFromAnotherPlanet 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm not on the level where I have a "team of people", just using Google and giving respect, so I became known for opening my guests up because they trust me. I've even interviewed Kanye and got him to laugh and relax and share his feelings about things he didn't with others. You don't need a team to be an effective interviewer.

    • @chocmilkshake24
      @chocmilkshake24 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      So true

    • @chocmilkshake24
      @chocmilkshake24 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      sisterfromanotherplanet you’re right, but you have to remember that he’s interviewing ppl who have been interviewed to DEATH about everything they do, so the research is mandatory if you want to get creative with your questions and not repeat the same boring questions.

    • @maggiemcfly5267
      @maggiemcfly5267 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Yet every talk show host has a team of researchers or just a person really, and Graham Norton still stands out

    • @LiLBrotato
      @LiLBrotato 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Good point man I was thinking the same

  • @Deiku
    @Deiku 6 ปีที่แล้ว +438

    Can you make a video on how to cheer people up? thanks

    • @Slechy_Lesh
      @Slechy_Lesh 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      This video shows that. Just be even more cautious, more gradual, if they're not feeling good.

    • @razvan2632
      @razvan2632 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      give them money .Actually don't .Receiving money is kind of embarrasing

    • @Ricardoromero4444
      @Ricardoromero4444 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Watch tony robbins. he's the master at that one

    • @Kalenz1234
      @Kalenz1234 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hug em.

    • @Serai3
      @Serai3 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Here's your video: don't do it. There are few things more invasive and annoying than an attempt to "cheer up" someone who hasn't asked you to do so.

  • @Jonic_P
    @Jonic_P 6 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    I've been lobbying for this episode for SOOOO LONG Constantly seeing celebrities that don't usually open up or even do interviews go on Graham Norton's and show and just love it has made me deeply interested in how the man does it!!!!

  • @cellardoor199991
    @cellardoor199991 6 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    1:06 Actually he WAS gonna shake his hand, BUT Jeremy already made the gesture to hug so Graham copied.

  • @partlyironic
    @partlyironic 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    What I love about Graham Norton’s show is the way he fosters conversation between sometimes wildly different guests. It would be amazing if you could look into that because we often have situations where odd people have to mix and it is never easy.

  • @StrawberryAppleCream
    @StrawberryAppleCream 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I LOVE Graham. I love how he is funny and makes the show while giving the stage fully to his guests

  • @yungprofsge
    @yungprofsge 6 ปีที่แล้ว +548

    I'm gonna watch these videos often

    • @superturtle64
      @superturtle64 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      I've been watching this channel for over a year now, it has been one of the most helpful resources of information

    • @yungprofsge
      @yungprofsge 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yes it is I've been watching for about a year as well but I'm going to add a lot of these videos to my daily playlist they're great for learning better communication

    • @superturtle64
      @superturtle64 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I'm sure you'll agree that after understanding the fundamentals of good charisma, one's life improves tenfold

    • @paranoidandroid4709
      @paranoidandroid4709 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      RapperGeekT me2

    • @harryjameson9423
      @harryjameson9423 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Don't forget to put into practice whatever you learned in the real world.

  • @Tennishead21
    @Tennishead21 6 ปีที่แล้ว +480

    You forgot his Irish charm. ;)

    • @daireoreilly2548
      @daireoreilly2548 6 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      yeah most irish people are naturally charming

    • @poundlandbandit6124
      @poundlandbandit6124 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      +Daire O'Reilly how can an entire people be charming

    • @MD-uu5nt
      @MD-uu5nt 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      killy it's the culture. not all Irish people are changeover but a very large percentage are. Conversely Americans tend to be much more polite and mannerly but less off the cuff.

    • @annmitchell4663
      @annmitchell4663 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Dat Guy Maybe you were adopted and you're really German..😆

    • @louisvuitton56
      @louisvuitton56 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      His lucky charms

  • @dannyclub09
    @dannyclub09 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I'm glad y'all finally made a video about Graham Norton, we've been asking for this for a while.

  • @4movecheckmate
    @4movecheckmate 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    When teasing, keep two criteria in mind:
    1. Don't attack someone's identity
    2. Don't target something unchangeable and important to the person.
    This also helps me to see why some teasing hurts me. Knowing that, I can now let those things pass and try not to be offended by them.
    Don't say something out of malice or dislike. That means be really careful with the people you know you don't like very much. You can be polite all the time, but those little caustic remarks can destroy all that work. Instead focus on complimenting those people genuinely.
    To be interesting, be interested. Listen to people and let them feel interest.

  • @TooOverrated
    @TooOverrated 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Great advice, Ben . I am excited for this on site videos to see how your personalities differ when showing your own charisma.

  • @dancegod1691
    @dancegod1691 6 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I feel like talk shows aren't a great thing to study for interpersonal communication, given there's a whole audience and all parties are focused on looking friendly/likable for the camera/audience.

  • @AverageJoe69420
    @AverageJoe69420 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Honestly, these videos are amazing. I've been struggling a bit lately with on camera presence, it's hard to "be funny" or entertaining when you have zero real time feedback. But these videos are so good, really going to take these tips and suggestions to heart and try to implement them. Thank you!

  • @dandyandy2046
    @dandyandy2046 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My favorite part of this video is listening to you, Ben. Seriously, I can see you really practice what you preach and you make an effort to improve yourself. I found you instantly likable and was interested in what you had to say about The Dollar Shave Club. Well done, mate ;)

  • @hipnhappenin
    @hipnhappenin 6 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Yay!! You FINALLY made a video on Graham!! He is the best talk show host today.

  • @capubecks
    @capubecks 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Graham is just such a natural, so funny and smart, one of his big talents is the comebacks...thanks for also pointing out and naming all the things he does, focusing in achievements, self deprecating humor, etc. well done and thank you!...I just subscribed!

    • @Charismaoncommand
      @Charismaoncommand  5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ~ Our pleasure! Glad you enjoyed the video and welcome to the channel. :-)

  • @succeedwme123
    @succeedwme123 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Graham uses a warm connection to his guest touch warmth everyone loves him! Hugs a pat on shoulder compliments based on accomplishments. What worked hard to acheive and gives so much to make guest happy. Creates a very friendly vibe. He uses humor and laughter and wants to enjoy pursuit of happiness and joy. Relates so well to guests moving voice up and down to emphasize points. What are u afraid of ? things that interest guests and touch them and laugh at guests jokes and watch comedy and spend time with it help neuropathways connect to it!!! At times it can be tought to get some guests open up does playful teasing to playfully give peolple a hard time makes guest comfortable and relaxed. Gets into their interests and passions and do research on your guest before interview. Sincere compliments Laughs with them not at them too much if praise before and deliver s jab with a smile and they should be laughing with you. Can make at times a self depracating joke. And all in fun and not attacking anyone. Starts early in interview with compliments Comedy is wonderful successful and fun to be able to make people laugh. Is a great listener and lets guests talk more very insightful. To be interesting be interesting... Carnigie Make others feel important and be listened to. Doesnt talk as much about himself. These r almost all Grahams main positive successful techniques. Enjoy Chana Natalie Knopf Rosenblat..on Facebook Friend me! **

  • @ohigetjokes
    @ohigetjokes 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I really appreciated this - makes me realize how powerful it is to just genuinely APPRECIATE people! (I forget sometimes) Thanks!

  • @fejj12
    @fejj12 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    You guys have outdone yourself with this video. Way to raise the bar! Brilliant tips on ways to soften teasing while putting it all together with all the other charisma skills.

  • @lindseybailes2706
    @lindseybailes2706 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    I want to go to The Graham Norton show so badly.
    But step 1 is obviously the alcohol. He is so smart to incorporate it with his show.

  • @andrewlindsey5353
    @andrewlindsey5353 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This was a great video. I'd point out that the difference between the handshake and the hug actually came from the guest themselves. You can see the first guy walk forward with his hand out while the other had both hands open to the sides. Grahams skill lies in quickly identifying the intent of the other person and following it.

  • @KiiroSagi
    @KiiroSagi 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    1. Warm Positive Connection:
    Be warm and make compliments instead of generic
    2. Humor:
    Be funny or laugh out loud. Make people feel like they have a good time around you.
    3. Tease and self-deprecate:
    Break tension and formality by teasing or to be safe, jokes at your expense. Try and compliment first and then attempting these after.
    4. Listen:
    People love to tell stories or share opinions but only if someone actually validates their effort by listening. Also, try not to interrupt because no one likes being interrupted.

  • @The3rdGunman
    @The3rdGunman 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Can't talk about Graham's charisma and not mention his suit game...it's A+

  • @elizabethdevries8028
    @elizabethdevries8028 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    He is absolutely outstanding at what he does. I love his show.

    • @Vulturefist
      @Vulturefist 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Outstanding indeed. Well put.
      Seeing a talented person using his/her talent is an amazing thing to behold. Norton knows his craft, that’s for damn sure!

  • @henrystgeorge4882
    @henrystgeorge4882 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love the personal touch on this video - gives me insight into someone new producing these videos!!

  • @life02ab
    @life02ab 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Excellent points and Graham is such a pleasure to watch. Great work here.

  • @natebillings147
    @natebillings147 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I normally don't watch this kind of stuff, I feel ethically inclined not to, but thank you. It answered some questions I hadn't found answers to until now.

  • @Animegal6
    @Animegal6 6 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    i would love to see a video about how to talk about yourself!

  • @ChrisSmith-hq3of
    @ChrisSmith-hq3of 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The teasing part of joking is often hard to do. I usually go too far on my friends and it can lead to awkward moments. This video encapsulates the parts of which I did wrong. I enjoy re-watching these videos so much!

  • @Simplefier
    @Simplefier 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am looking forward to see this channel evolve even more (already loving it)

  • @ghughus
    @ghughus 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I must say there is still another line to that "Don't tease people about something that is unchangeable" - I myself am fairly short and my friends definitely tease me about it, crack some jokes, and it is pretty hilarious more often than not! I am not too self conscious about it so it's really not an issue, but I suppose one still has to be careful about how to approach those issues depending on the person

    • @benjaminaltman4895
      @benjaminaltman4895 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hey Luis! That's awesome and means you're probably quite confident :-) Not everyone is, which is why it's exactly as you say, you aren't self conscious about it so it doesn't bother you. There are exceptions to this for sure, but for someone still figuring out where the line is, I think it's a good guideline to avoid anything that is both unchangeable and important to them. But exceptions will apply :-)

    • @May04bwu
      @May04bwu 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yeah but you can't depend on that with people you just met.

  • @ClassPunkOnRumbleAndSubstack
    @ClassPunkOnRumbleAndSubstack 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Moral: With marijuana and caffeine an introvert can become an Extrovert God.

  • @LarryLeeMoniz
    @LarryLeeMoniz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I can't think of a more perfect choice to demonstrate how to make people instantly like you, than Graham Norton! Well done!

  • @downloaddeodeo6063
    @downloaddeodeo6063 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Be instantly magnetic by:
    1. Creates warm, positive connection,
    i) smile & touch
    ii) shake, hug, pat...
    iii) compliment on something hard to achieve.
    2. Humour & laughter for others to feel joy around you.
    3. Playful teasing & self-deprecation puts everyone on the same level.
    i) don't attack someone's identity
    ii) don't attack things that are important to them.
    iii) establish you love their thing first.
    iv) self-depreciation, laught at yourself.
    4. Listen very intently.

  • @mz1496
    @mz1496 6 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    How have you guys not already done a video about Ricky Gervais? I think you will come up with an incredible break down about him!
    Keep up the good work 👊👊

  • @ralugabs
    @ralugabs 6 ปีที่แล้ว +360

    When you don't even need a notification cause you're on youtube all the time anyway 😂

    • @kimyong5548
      @kimyong5548 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      you are pretty

    • @zxGHOSTr
      @zxGHOSTr 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Kim yong the cringe almost snaped my spine😅

    • @PavelHasek
      @PavelHasek 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      well played

    • @abidamahbub1653
      @abidamahbub1653 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same omg.

    • @jebes909090
      @jebes909090 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Raluca Sandu when your name sounds like an indian dish

  • @brandonb14
    @brandonb14 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Really great video from a consistently high quality channel! One video I'd like to see is how to be memorable. It's often a problem i face quite a bit, when I'm around people in a club or party etc I get on with them, I make them laugh and we have a good time, but then as soon as the event is finished it seems that's it, so say if they threw a house party or another type of social event I won't get invited, even though the last few times we've met we may have a had a good laugh together. Just a video idea i'd like to see, keep it up, love this channel!

  • @gustavomartinsdasilva4990
    @gustavomartinsdasilva4990 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    you and charlie are the best,keep going on and ignore whatever negative criticism that you might receive

  • @FranDrakeS
    @FranDrakeS 6 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    I love Graham so much, he always make me laugh. Ben, you ROCK! I'm glad you're doing this videos too. Thank you so much.

  • @ArthurMoore
    @ArthurMoore 6 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    Great video. thank you for it! you can use an app to download those videos in a higher quality so when you zoom in, it won't look like the game Doom (the first 1)

    • @alexiryo
      @alexiryo 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Boy, atleast you're paying attention to the specificity tips

  • @fuckyouyoutube7921
    @fuckyouyoutube7921 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great video. Graham is just so natural with ppl, I doubt he needed any coaching.
    I try to be like that to ppl in general, especially with my customers but I think I sometimes misread their body language.

  • @ziltoidtheomniscient2398
    @ziltoidtheomniscient2398 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Feels good that I actually do a lot of this already. Thanks Ben, keep it up!

  • @acollierr17
    @acollierr17 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is a great video. Great pointers and great way of doing the video. I look forward to seeing more videos like this from the both of you in the future!

  • @ennamorgan9673
    @ennamorgan9673 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    So THAT's what you look like! You have a great voice; I love listening to your videos; and as it turns out, you are ridiculously easy on the eyes, so don't be shy to do more appearances :)

  • @theranasaini
    @theranasaini 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great post. Glad I took the time to go through it, cheers!

  • @AcuraAddicted
    @AcuraAddicted 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very well put! I must say, out of all others, Graham Norton is my favourite.

  • @amazingsupergirl7125
    @amazingsupergirl7125 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I'm American and Graham Norton is the only foreign talk show I watch. ❤️ I assume using him was just as example since ALL hosts have these skills. Ya can't do a good job without being very good with people.
    I watch his show because it's funny and different but I wouldn't be interested in being real life friends with such a hyper cutup.
    IMO being a good, responsive listener is by far the most important.

  • @uonlyliveonce24
    @uonlyliveonce24 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Great job and excellent tips. Watching this helped me realize that for the past 2 weeks I've been overly serious about life. I will now take the time to smile and laugh as cultivating happiness within me equals happiness around me. Thanks for sharing:)

  • @itpatriot
    @itpatriot 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I just found your channel and I'm loving it- thank you!

  • @rowsofpitch
    @rowsofpitch 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    great tips! these are interesting, well thought insights. its also great that youre being transparent with the sponsorship, and talking about your goals as a channel. could i maybe request a video on making friends online? its harder for me to make a friend in a chatroom or a voice call room cause body language is harder to convey and pick up on.

  • @untilyouburn
    @untilyouburn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Man being funny and likeable is A LOT OF WORK

  • @peekeyeseek
    @peekeyeseek 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Graham Norton is so fabulous, a gift to humanity.
    But hey, he knows it. 😜

  • @AnthonyTurnham
    @AnthonyTurnham 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Always love your videos guys. Jam packed full of interesting and useful take-homes. Keep up the great work.

  • @WilliamJonesChess
    @WilliamJonesChess ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Moments. Square Brackets = my thoughts
    Interesting moment is he does not hide the spotlight 00:03
    1:20 He complements based on accomplishments [The more specific the better, hence you are paying attention]
    5:30 He uses self-deprecation to tease everyone to get them on the same level.
    A level playing field. Now we can all laugh.
    [Make fun of yourself first, but not too much, or else people take pity on you]
    6:55 Do not tease someone about something that is unchangeable and important to them
    [This is so important]
    7:10 Making fun of David’s haircut. Totally fine as this is changeable.
    8:06 There is some water there!
    11:30 To be interesting, be interested

  • @cball2011
    @cball2011 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    The positive scenarios are great, I'd like to see more examples of people failing to use these methods though 🙌

  • @nolanbunyaviroch1862
    @nolanbunyaviroch1862 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Can you make a video on working with others? How do you become the ideal working partner? How do you encourage people to work? How do you work well with others? How do you become efficient with your working partners?

  • @theresah6300
    @theresah6300 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Fantastic topic...love Graham's show above all.

  • @CreativeQueenx
    @CreativeQueenx 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Interesting concept. Thanks for sharing. God bless ❤❤

  • @derrickforeal
    @derrickforeal 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This isn't a talent that can be adopted or learned in a quick manner. GRAHM is a good listener and has a sharp and witty memory and just all around enjoyable energy. Grahm truly can finesse the widest variety of individuals allwhile keeping it progressivly moving and informative. He has been at this along time and truly has mastered the late night tv show banter, plus he has cut out many of the standard industry conversation formalities and nicely flows from a conversation into a hilarious bash from the likes of old friends poking fun at one another. Grahm is great at getting guest to lighten up and just be their real natural self and this is what enjoy about his show then any other of today's. , The tool that works best for Grahm, and this is from his own mouth, he sauces his guest up, and this gets them to wllingly loosen their insecurity bolts making the fun poking exchanges truly enjoyable and the most unique of any joking on tv. Grahm does this better then any other host and this keeps it enjoyable for all without overdoing it. We have all seen other host fail and flatline their interviews into a uncomfortable closing. This is why his guest truly enjoys coming on his show

  • @afrosymphony8207
    @afrosymphony8207 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    graham and conan are my favorite talk show hosts of all time

    • @monmorelord6368
      @monmorelord6368 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Its the Irish personality...best in the world as talk show hosts as they have a natural skill fro talking to people ...In Ireland to be sociable and fun is considered a must while quiet and serious people not so much

    • @thehallofvalhalla
      @thehallofvalhalla 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@monmorelord6368 Conan isn't Irish. He's Irish american. Completely different things.

    • @monmorelord6368
      @monmorelord6368 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@thehallofvalhalla NO its not ...its in the DNA ...

    • @helenaville5939
      @helenaville5939 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes Conan is very Irish.

  • @CrystalTwinStar
    @CrystalTwinStar 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Youre so right about Graham! I LOVE HIM!

  • @utesch1111
    @utesch1111 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    HABITS! Such an important distinction to point out, bravo 👏

  • @NutnRoll
    @NutnRoll 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Even his face makes you instantly like him.

  • @stopmotionj2455
    @stopmotionj2455 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is the first I ever heard about that show, I have to see if I can find it. :)

  • @AndreaWinzor
    @AndreaWinzor 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love GN! Thankyou for the breakdown of how he operates. I was thinking how to manage this as an introvert (with learned extroversion)...go to your channel and BOOM, theres a vid for the introverts! Subscribed!

  • @kashia8638
    @kashia8638 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    very good analysis

  • @AleAle-hk1lu
    @AleAle-hk1lu 6 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    Make a video about Bill Burr

  • @bothi00
    @bothi00 6 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Best talk show host by a mile

  • @ruoweilim7334
    @ruoweilim7334 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    this is UNCANNY i was literally binge watching the graham norton show yesterday and thought about how cool it'd be if u made a video about graham norton........

  • @Neerajpl7
    @Neerajpl7 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Warm friendly connection through smile and touch

  • @fannybrasse
    @fannybrasse 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Make a video about Marlon Brando...... or 10 videos about Marlon Brando!! He knew every type of bodylanguage and knew how to hook everyone, a pure genius! You can make a or more videos about HIM, the person, and you can make videos of his bodylanguage, influense, confidence etc from the characters he was and himself. Marlon Brando is the best actor ever, no doubts, and how he excpressed his characters is amazing. If there is someone you should multiple videos about is it Marlon Brando! Watch his movies and you will understand.

  • @sydneykirk4957
    @sydneykirk4957 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    "When you laugh at someone's joke, you make THEM feel like YOUR listening to THEM!" These videos used to make really useful points about linguistics and they've devolved into how to conversation for dummies.

  • @oldchannel7430
    @oldchannel7430 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hey Charlie! I love your videos! They are amazing and I also joined your group for the first impression material, also fantastic! I have a suggestion for another charisma breakdown that I'd really love to see: Marlon Brando

  • @territran9781
    @territran9781 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wow I love your choice of people to do a detail break downs with. Who ever does the choosing of people to do a videos on definitely has a good eye .

    • @Charismaoncommand
      @Charismaoncommand  6 ปีที่แล้ว

      ~ This has been requested for a while now - glad you're liking it!

  • @carpwithmilk8914
    @carpwithmilk8914 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Please do a video about talking about yourself

  • @SuPeRNinJaRed
    @SuPeRNinJaRed 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Tom Hiddleston "You make a man feel good Graham"
    In more than one way!!! JKJKJKJK

    • @Elyhhk
      @Elyhhk 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      😬

  • @lindanorris3226
    @lindanorris3226 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING 🔥🔥🔥

  • @littoww
    @littoww 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great video! Graham really is a national treasure of ours