How To Make The Narcissist Obsessed With You | Ask Anoushka
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Dating a narcissist is like picking someone from mental asylum and convincing yourself that they can act normal.
I’m a narrcist and I have never done this in a relationship before I mean I’m thinking it but I don’t put it on display
100% true
So truee, people think to fix them but in return they drain and destroy them
Spot on
Exactly
The ruminating “ what did I wrong “ takes a long time! After love bombing comes the real person , with no texting, silent treatment and rudeness. It’s hard to deal with.
Been there done that! Worse 15 years of my life. My advice is run when they give you the silent treatment. They’ll never expect it and it’ll hurt their ego. They’ll never expect it
Its very hurtful and you think to yourself jeez this person isnt even Human or has no Heart at all.... its a very sad situation, i just went thru it good thing i didnt give her the Ring and buy the House i was going to get for us to start our so called Long Term Relationship
Yes i understand you ..i was discarded abruptly in mid august 22..& he went no contact/blocked me via phone & would not talk in person either..i still havent come to grips with it all. I was in a relationship for over 6 yrs..
All this is as most of these posts explain diorientating ..for us empathists to comprehend.. Now im educating myself which is helping to gain clarity & helping me in my recovery..
Thier visious the things they say to hurt glad my skin is thick. But I know his is thin would never try to hurt anyone's self esteem cause your f up just looked at him and laughed like really did u just say that disrespectful sht too me that did it for me. Bye devil 👿😈👿😈 gone with the back burner narc supply y'all look good together
I never saw it coming, he said he’s an alpha male that’s why he wants to be in control. I let him to control me but in the end, he did not care. I was drained and I said I needed a break but he blocked me in every social media. Now I’m stuck, and in pain
Only co-dependent can live with a narcissist because of their insecurities and dependency on them. But an empath will leave them because of silly behaviour.
That makes sense. The more I was kind and compassionate with his moods and craziness the more he was bored! Lol I thought he would calm down but he just kept destroying his own life. I am so bored and exhausted with him.
These people are weird
He's bored dam I was to no real conversation same routine everyday but you bored no real life with these demons
So correct! You CAN'T fix them, and don't try!
After giving multiple chances for he’s toxic ways. Lies the cheating abuse etc. as hard as it was I just left. For the past 3 years he’s tried everything for a reaction. He has a new partner and child yet still trying to hoover. These people just play with peoples hearts and emotions. I’m so grateful I had the strength to leave. I had no support from the threats and he did something illegal which he got away with. Police never helped me in the Uk. Never. That’s what disgusts me. I look at him now and I’m ashamed I gave him the time of day. Stay strong everyone and love yourself always.
No one in their correct mind is going to want the narcissist chasing them. If they do then they aren't correct in their head. I would never want my ex to be behind me. I mean who wants a handicapped person obsessed with them? No thanks!!!
Exactly am like who wants a narc obsessed with them so strange
😂😂😂😂😂
Sounds fun tbh
After 27 years of marriage- 3 amazing children my ex narc got jealous, bored and found new supply in a teenager. DISCARD began, mask came off and the terrifying transformation to insanity. A selfish, hating , reckless, crude, cruel, resentful , insecure inner child presented. He said he felt nothing for me or the children and had never wanted any of our life . He was a completely different person.
Fast forward after family counseling and 7 years - it’s still hard to wrap our brains around. We have all moved on and are doing well. You have helped me come to a better understanding of this difficult time. Thank You!💛
I also sorry you went through that, it must be like haing that disease where you can't recognize people anymore... horrible
Absolutely spot on, keep your own self-respect & dignity and walk away, not easy but do this and all will come right in the end. the more you give trust me the more they want, walk away and let it sink in there selfish heads, it will hurt them big time.
Always, keep them at arms length. Settle down with and be with your person not a counterfeit. x
Thank you. Walking away and letting them go works.
👏🏽
They only want the Honeymoon Period.
My borderline ex girlfriend did all of this behaviour...when I ignored her she would turn up where I work like a stalker...then when I gave her attention she would cause trouble and eventually leave about 2 weeks later. Then sometimes she would try to provoke me in to having an argument then when I would react she would tell me to leave..then she would leave again then be in contact about 1or 2 weeks later..sounds like a narcissist to me she needs constant attention changing friends..job..boyfriend etc when she gets bored
BPD NPD...Cluster B...similar
I experienced something similar with a borderline. It took time apart to realize what actually happened, how emotionally damaging it was, and how much I had been manipulated. It's hard to explain to my friends, who all question why I put up with so much abuse for so long. It's almost like someone has to have experienced cluster B abuse to actually understand.
I'm borderline and bipolar... it's because borderlines suffer from abandonment issues, attachment issues, Co dependency and when they feel triggered or threatened then they lash out and claw in to avoid the very abandonment they feel
@@shirl974 no they're not similar at all. Just because they are in the same cluster doesn't mean they are similar... All mental health conditions will have similar symptoms but doesn't make them similar at all
@@ebrowntaylor1 I'd appreciate it if you didn't speak about borderlines like they are evil and abusive. Did you think to research her condition to learn more and understand? Did you acknowledge that childhood trauma had impacted on her? Did you even consider how she felt being abusive? Manipulative? Nothing to do with having experience in cluster B abuse she has a mental health condition, you was clearly aware of this when you got with her because borderlines are to honest, she probably warned you and told you parts to explain her ways. Do you know how hard it is to maintain a relationship and live a day to day life when your own thoughts and feelings are against you? Do you know how much it kills inside to push people away because you are so scared to be abandoned, are you aware that borderlines will have panic attacks through fear, anxiety or even through their own thoughts. Are you aware of the daily intensive thoughts reminding you of the way you've messed up, telling you that the world would be better off without you? No I didn't think you had...
A narcissists worst nightmare is an educated empath
OMG, that's me!! Someone like me sees straight thru him and see his suffering, wants to help!! Don't a severe narc need someone like me? Can't they see their own destructive ways?
@@janebraun4482 Don't. For your own sake, just don't!!
When I started realising what was going on, and standing up for myself, he became so much worse before exploding - I think because he knew he couldn't control me anymore
This is spot on! Thank you!
Upon the discard, my ex narc told me that I had failed to give him “lip service” on how great he was. He told me I had done that in the beginning but I changed. So he fell out of “love” from me. Lol. I had given so much of me to him yet nothing was enough. He wanted me to constantly be awed by him no matter what wrong he did to me. He wanted to be validated and be in control. With narcissists there’s nothing “right” that you can do to make them not discard you. If they had enough of you and they get bored with you, everything you do is “wrong” to them. So the whole relationship is not only based on lies but you have absolutely no control of it. It’s all up to them to determine how it’s going to go and when it’s gonna end.
Great video! Thank you!
Omg this is EXACTLY what happened to me
@@Lana-jg7lg They are all the same, right? All very destructive. Stay strong!
@@kristinej.4182 ya. All are the same. 😳
Each person who experienced it can totally think of the narc in their lives even though they are all different people they are the SMAE!
@@supernatural2762 You're right. They are really all the same because they have the same disorder.
That demon wants to be an idol. I did idolize him. I'll never put anyone before God again
Thank you I really need to know these things. I been with a narcissistic for 9 yrs and finally being strong to move on
Energie vampiers absolutly simplistisch.
Thank you so much, you have no idea how much you have put my mind at ease, answered so many things that were troubling me. God bless you
One of your best videos! Puts everything in perspective, making it closure enough for a lot of people, especially when you now know the answer to your WHY? Thanks!!
Absolute gold this! Thank you💕
I now get exactly what happened. Thank you so much. I rode the emotional roller coaster for a couple of years , on and off. Wow!
Give them what they want they get bored …..get discarded….don’t give them what they want discard anyway…..lose …lose…
One of your best videos ever! Thank you Anoushka!
Thank you for sharing the knowledge you have learned 🙏🏽 after 30 years and 5 children she’s like “good bye” . It’s a tough pill to swallow but your videos help so much. And know that, your vids are helping many confused and hearting souls until they learn. Take care
This video is about a partner. What you said about maintaining the childhood role, is SO TRUE for Siblings too!!🥰❤️🙏😍😘
Thank you,Thank you,Thank youuuu 💕.
The videos are inspirational. Thanks.
All i heard here is how they become bored with us. Not how they become obsessed with us.
Thank you 👍
You are the best I have seen so far!!
Excellent video ma'am!
Thank you I now understand this totally
Amazing information.. thank you 😊 so much for sharing your wonderful knowledge.
Why on earth would anyone want a narcissist obsessed with them? The real trick is to figure out what they are in time to escape the trap.
Great video! I think this one helps me to not only walk away, but to let go of some of the anger. They are who they are and they can’t help it.
He always needed constant praise and attention - he'd get cross half way through a meal if we weren't all telling him how great it was 🙄 he'd walk in the room and expect us all to stop what we were doing to pay him attention. He really struggled during lockdown, missing his colleagues giving him attention
My husband to a T!
I really believe it's because they don't understand emotional cues. They split everything into black and white and don't understand anything that is gray, so when they get that mild/gray reaction they automatically file it under black. You have to be absolutely extra/showy in order for them to understand it. For example, mine would get really upset when I came home from home work and didn't immediately run, hug, kiss, and or validate him, he would say things like how can you even say you miss me and you just walk in like nothing lol he needed me to fly in the door, wind blowing in my hair, run into his arms and adore him for him to believe that I indeed missed him. It's all about the dramatics with them, you have to be very extra for them to actually consider you, it's crazy lol
Anoushka, thank you so much.
Tremendous help 👏 👌 👍 and value for all of us!! HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU TOO!!❤❤
Thank you and Happy new year. I’m glad the video has helped 😊
I joined 11 months ago and you have been everything a EARTH ANGEL IS!!❤ ♥ 💕 INSPIRATION TO ELEVATION YOU ARE!!❤❤
@@timothysparrey8688 thank you for joining and for your kind words 😊😊😊
Thank you Anoushka
Dear Anoushka your the best ! Thank you for all the effort and time you put into making these videos! Your gold!
Great content!!!
You are fantastic with your explanations !
As always, great information delivered with real clarity, this will be extremely helpful to many people, thank you Anoushka 🙏👏
It took me almost one year to start looking for explanation, and I think I have found my "library" here. Ty all for adding your experiences so more ppl can understand and realize. It was quite a ride for my brain, and finally I think understanding will give peace to my broken heart. (Thank God she didn't wanted kids...that will be gate to hell probably)
It took me more than a year.. I tried healing in every other way, but his silence and the lack of closure almost killed me.
good work - thanks
You don’t want these nut cases obsessed with you ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
priceless information...thank you🙏
Thank you so much 🙏
Your videos have helped me soooo much! It saved my mental health! Thank you! 🙏
I am sooooooo beyond happy to hear this. I’m glad that my work has helped you 😊😊
@@anoushkamarcin ❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏 and so am I! God bless you!
💋 Are you still healing?
Where is your ex partner at now
Exactly! This chaotic, crazy making stupidity can be physically and mentally exhausting. Kudos on the help from this channel and channels like it. God bless and Happy New Year.
@@anoushkamarcin
Likewise, so Greatful ma'am. God bless you and your channel. Please continue with your Awesome work, it's saved lives and mental health.
Thank you🌹
Extremely insightful!
So very mixed up. Thank you as always Anoushka for helping us understand this twisted road we are on.
Thank you
Spot on
TY
Thankyou ❤
The saying of : they never want to invest for relationship longevity (even not for a friendship). It makes a lot of sense. That’s why they only did the talks but had no real action, they want to keep the supply at their minimum cost……😢 sad to know this really…
Yea I’m in a loop
So So True..
Great advice, thank you. I have to work with my narc and I have no choice but to see her. I try to avoid as much contact as possible and would love to not see her at all but that is not an option.
I'm fully over it wow. I have zero interest in them I have better things for my future at home in London.
What a lovely woman x
I have been with my BF for 15 years. In that time he has always messaged and met up with other woman for sex. I have now realised he has all the narsatistic traits. I have been told by my friends to leave.
One of my ex narc's supplies contacted me and told me she had been seeing him off and on for a long time and told me a lot about the person he is some of the things shocked me.
2 years passed out of the blue came the hoover,l didnt answer them he pursued for nearly a month
I decided to unblock him and told him to stop calling at my house as one of his supplies has told me all about him and that he should leave me alone,he gave no reply after a day l re blocked and l havnt heard from him since 😊As they are shame based lm hoping now l will finally be left alone 🙏🙏
You can’t change them, you can’t understand it, they are hard wired like that
NOPE.... I never gave up giving him attention and feeding his ego, and he STILL discarded me for a shiny new richer toy
Excellent video and synopsis of what happens in a relationship with a narcissist explaining both sides of the sad equation . Thanks… tho title misleading
But I never did give him what he wanted because I was always busy and it really got so pissed off at me … I am no longer in this because I had a spiritual awakening and I finally seen the true narcissist, I was married to him for 10 years and we hooked back up after 15 yrs … then he showed me who is is and why I was put thru the ringer for yrs because I didn’t give him my energy,,, so, I cut communication off completely,, I love ur page so much
I have spiritual narcissists stalking me. I live with a typical narcissist.
Hell is a place called Earth for me. I hate it when people tell me to ''get out of there'', since I have no job and I'm losing my eyesight.
What do you mean spiritual narc stalking you
@@goranberic4721 those who have 3rd eye open
Can you please explain what do you think thay all have 3 eye open malignat special its becose spirit whu is in them
@@goranberic4721 having 3rd eye open it means they can violate my privacy
@@WhiteAngelLovesEarth do you have emeil
It's painful and now I'm starting to believe I am a narcissist. I'm exhausted and he deflects when i question something by degrading me and destroy my confidence to Build his Ego... and he treat random women kindly yet he does not treat me the same. So 3 years now and I've left over 100 times. But I'm not running away. I feel like I need to learn and leave without hatred. I challenge him like you have no idea. But am I an empath or narcissist? He definitely is a narcissist.... he learns you and uses your weakness as fuel to destroy you completely.
I've just been through 10 months with my narccasist fience I just couldn't make it work ,I was so drained ,I was on my knees ,I know first hand what it is like to be with a narccasist . I tried everything ,I did make a small break through . I had to give up in the end .
Everyone has healthy narccisim, it's when it's high on the scale or npd this happens Sam vaknin.
What your saying is correct but we also need to do our shadow works as well so you don't attract any more narcs..
Yeah I figured that out like 2 years ago, what was it in me that had attraction or resonance on that level? You have to explore your own darkness so you can deal with it better.... Everyone has some kind of narcism but to which degree...
Im watching alot of videos about this topic lately ! And i wondwr if any of these people making these videos are narcissist them self!?.. I have a gut feeling about it so often !
Go with your gut!!
I have wondered the same, but there are several self aware & diagnosed narcs making videos on here, but it's still us giving them the attention they want, it's almost like they're exploiting people's pain with their behaviors all in the name of helping others....
Hi Anoushka, Happy New Year, to the best friend and tutor I have never met xxx.
Your videos are always brilliant so helpful. My ex from 2005 has just popped up in the end of 2021.
Yawn I am so over his childish behaviour, I'm so different now....he hasn't changed one bit! Pathetic really...
It is indeed scary how they Hoover after so many years. Thanks to the Internet, I have realized that all my relationships are same “ cluster B” men with different faces….. throughout my life. My ego appreciated that they “ wanted to catch up”. I was prideful and naive. Long gone are my rose colored glasses.Recovery from codependency is not for the faint of heart. Sadly, they are “ heads” and we “ tails” of same coin. Our healing a bit less arduous. Peace All 🌎
Omg...you scary me.....i didnt know...so RIGHT😮😢
I think they also use the reverse psychology which they try no contact because they want you to miss them deep and thats how get get you hooked
This is so true.
My recent covert narcissist gf /next door neighbour (yes, she lives right next door) love bombed me heaps and treated me like I was on top of the world as our so called relationship was beginning. She had constructed in her mind that in the following months we are to move into a home together, btw she's also a divorced single mum. Instant red flag, I am not jeopardizing my assets to bring up a 4yo boy and his immature mum.
As the weeks passed and her fantasy was getting stale, our relationship went off and on as I became wiser to her NPD condition.
Now on a 6week no contact (I grey rock her when we see each other, as we are neighbours) - she still does random things to try and get my attention. She would park her car close to mine with the hope I would break my no-contact.
I know she still needs me.
She renewed her lease ! I have another 12months of her living next to me. 🤔 . I own my place, if she really hates me with a passion - why has she not moved away !!
Because she probably wants your house !!
@@silvereagle1352 Definitely. If she was a normal person, she'd have gotten the memo already and moved.
Oh, God. I wish you strength. I left my narc so long ago. We both live in NY but in different boroughs which is far away enough. He was a stalker and I still often wonder if he drives here to check out my house. She sounds like a desperate person as was my ex. I was the one with the money and I know he wanted it but he never got it. I can't imagine my disgust if I ever saw him again.
I hope you have security cameras outside.
@@gerardinecizmar hi Gerardine. She still lives next door to me. However, as time has now passed I've come to the understanding that she is actually BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).
mine also lives next door..
Onec I was ignore her outside the next day she bring the new supply around my town
Well . . . They need to get over themselves and work off their ego. Because I have no plans on placating anyone who's an A ****.
I am confused. They leave when they do not get supply from you and they also move away when they have secured our supply?
I didn’t enough love so he lost his feelings. That’s what he told me
Omg... I can't believe my bf is a narcissistic person, all the explanation you made in this video is exactly what he did from the beginning of our relationship... he care so much about me messages morning and night phone regularly and suddenly he showed me his really color and I have already fall in love with him now he blocked me everywhere 3 weeks now I'm not happy about this ridiculous behavior 💔
if he has. blocked you, trust me please, block and delete IT., IT CANT RECIPROCATE REAL LOVE. remember that. they just need attention and to feel like they have made. you FEEL what they want. because they are so powerless to get what they want which is to be a God on earth.
My parents are ...both narcissistic people 66 yes of marriage..my mom tends to my Dad like a babysitter / nurse/ best friend lover
How bout I just want to escape narcissistic people and not play narcissistic games back? I have nothing to gain from having someone like that in my life
How to make them obsessed with you? Just delete and block them, next is to change your phone number and there you go.. they will be obsessing with you by finding where you are and what you do in your life
They also want to take your resources. If they’re not able to live as well as you do.
What is the difference between PPD and NPD? Do they have similarities?
Unreal... there has to be some way to snap them out of it...
Anoushka, please tell me How to get one on one consultation with you?
it's a full time job trying to please them. it's impossible
Mirroring is a normal process sis, please don’t forget that. People do that naturally when building a bond. It’s just done at a higher degree from someone with a personality disorder
There's a difference between mirroring and matching. Mirroring means they don't have their own personality so they just reflect yours back. Matching means you're giving a person yourself but you match their energy. It's closer to molding than mirroring.
@@JevonMyles “Mirroring is the behavior in which one person unconsciously imitates the gesture, speech pattern, or attitude of another. Mirroring often occurs in social situations, particularly in the company of close friends or family. “ as per google. Mirroring is a natural bonding process. Narcs and other toxics just up it. Please get more familiar with these terms so you can understand other videos better as well to protect yourself
For my medications have helped to stop reacting to these narcs....i consulted doc..as could not convince narc to take help of psychiatrist...so i had to take medications for myself...believe me...their tactics dont affect me...
Can you do one on how to make one leave you alone?
Ok they already have everything, so they can't give you the closure
Don't necessarily believe that.
She left 2 years ago & I've not seen or heard from her for 6 months & we're in the same small town. Agreed about the childhood bit.
She was one of eight & both parents had full time jobs.
Narcissist can’t see you as an individual drain their supply, they will find other supply and simulate internal happiness with these people but it will wither away
So I pretend not to be interested in the nars and he will then be obsessed with chasing me? And if he doesn't get his needs met in that process, won't he still leave me at the end of the day?
I used to text mine all the time and in morning good morning he doesnt text me until I text him where he used to say goodmorning my love he say plain good morning and there day he doesnt even text I decided to stop texting him and calling him that much caus3 I realise why I'm the only one puting effort alone