Adult ADHD: When to Get Help
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 มิ.ย. 2024
- Being diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood I have learned how to manage not just my own life, but keeping kids and a home running. This is my story and my advice on what to ask yourself if you are thinking about getting help.
It can be scary to get assessed and wait for that diagnosis, but I truly believe that knowledge is power and the sooner you learn about how your brain operates, the sooner you can learn what coping skills and tools will be the best asset for you.
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"Mismanaged ADHD presents itself as anxiety." Yes!
yes
That was mind-blowing. I was first diagnosed with general anxiety disorder... turns out its ADHD. Woah.
@@amandareavey3985 My anxiety and depression increased dramatically over the past 12-ish years and I kept telling friends, family, and doctors that I felt like it was a chicken and egg situation: Am I depressed because I know my anxiety is stopping me from being able to do things or am I anxious because I'm anticipating the fact that my depression will keep me from being able to do things? Turns out the answer was neither. Both were symptoms of my ADHD.
Ultraviolet Morgan Tarot I feel seen.
@@johnplaysgames3120 SAME. When I was in my mid-20s, I saw a PCP who prescribed Zoloft (after talking with me for 5 minutes, and it was the first time he'd ever met me, but that's a whole other issue). I took it for a week and it was a DISASTER! I had a very bad reaction to it - it made me manic, and it amplified my distractibility and my inability to focus. I went off it after that week, and I never went to see that doctor again. In hindsight, this was an indication that I might have ADHD, but I had no idea. I just knew that whatever was wrong with me, it wasn't serotonin. Fast forward 20 years, and I finally got a diagnosis. How nice it would have been, if that doctor had referred me to a mental health professional like I was asking him to do, instead of just reflexively writing me a prescription and moving on with his day. And of course it would have been even better if I had been diagnosed as a child. Again, in hindsight, I presented as a classic combined-type ADHD kid: I was distractible and daydreamy in class, prone to sudden outbursts, super fidgety, always doodling or reading when I wasn't supposed to be, completely unable to keep my desk or bedroom clean, constantly losing things like coats and shoes, forgetting to do my homework or just forgetting to turn it in, and when outdoors always wanting to be *moving*. And I was extremely anxious in school - I can't remember not being anxious. In HS I had severe TMJ because I was clenching my teeth so badly at night - because school was hell that year. But I was a girl, and at the time the prevailing opinion was that only boys had ADHD.
Is it just me or have you felt that you can’t start on any task when you’re waiting on something(whether it’s a reply or delivery)
Oh my, that's totally me.
That's really true for me! Is that ADHD related?
So true and I never understood it. I'm 68 years old and all these years I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression only to find out they were caused by add.. Desipramin (NORPRAMIN) will possibly help you. I take 50 mg per day and it helps.
@@barbaracalabro873 How do you know it helps?
My PA put (put is not quite the right word here) me on something XR. Does it help - I dont know. I still have 4 browser windows each w/ 4+ tabs open, email half drafted as I write this. I type letters from the next word in the middle of the current word being typed.
That is my normal. How can I recognize normal normal?
I know it's real & I know meds can help - and understand that not all meds help everyone.
@bryanreynolds I focus better and have more organized thoughts
Sometimes the treatment for kids with ADHD focuses too much on outward symptoms that bother other people, and not enough on what's going on inside the ADHD person.
good point
Sometimes?
I was thinking the same thing the other day
Ultraviolet Morgan Tarot well, isn’t treatment often focused on fitting into a world that doesn’t appreciate nonconformity?
So true! The kids are going through more than not being focused in class! Or talking too much!
I feel like everything takes so much effort, all the small tasks of getting ready each day seem like so much, too many decisions just to get out the door, I can never declutter, I think about it and really want to but it’s hard just getting the necessary tasks done.
Sometimes I get so bad that my fiance has to lay my clothes out for me because I cant find what I want so I know how you feel.
That is definitely me...
You might benefit from a "just for now" trial run at doing things differently. Like have a smaller wardrobe of sets that go together or even a uniform. See if you can reduce your hair and make up and be satisfied with the results. Pick an area where you are willing to try anything, see whether you get better results (more time for breakfast, morning commute is calmer, etc.)
Re: declutter, take a declutter holiday --- enlist a friend and some time either take a vacation day or use 1 day of a weekend and tackle the biggest issue. Could be just working through stack of mail or deep cleaning/purging the kitchen. Your friend is there to keep you going, no judgement, get things out the door, ask questions, etc. If no friend, using a timer and do 15 minute chunks helps. Plus vibrant music. Calling someone 1/2 way through and reporting on how it's going may help, too.
CMS Sultana Most that struggle with this to a high degree don’t have many “close” friends much less any we’d trust seeing our house in a disorganized state. I won’t even let my family help, because the judgment is real. It doesn’t matter how much you think you can trust friends and family. They will judge and talk about your issues behind your back, simply because they don’t understand or don’t believe you have a problem. Most people have no concept of how an ADHD brain works, so they assume it’s due to being lazy or ill and not doing enough to stay organized. My Dad is constantly lecturing me, yet he doesn’t understand I do so much to try and improve. I go to the doctor regularly, I do biofeedback, meditation, and more. But I wasn’t even diagnosed until 53, so getting people to understand is often not worth the help they can provide. Organization is truly something that is difficult to manage especially if our jobs are stressful and demanding. Dealing with fatigue and insomnia adds to it.
Raise your hand if you're doing 500 other things while watching (honestly, just "listening to"?) this video! Lol
You're Welcome with Jessica Carlson you're sexy.
Me me me!!
No because i am hyper focused
It is about me..it stimulates me..i have interest in it
Definitely me, very frustrating. Even rewrote this 4x. Lol
lol same
9:51 - (When to get help)
14:24 - (Who to talk to)
How to change video speed to speed up video= Settings (cogwheel HD) > Playback speed. I recommend speed 2 or double the video speed.
Savior. Thank you
Seriously big thanks I was getting really anxious about the me me me and i i i
LOL I immediately put it on 1.5 speed cause I can't focus otherwise
Lol I can't watch anything unless it's at 2* speed
Thanks. She talks too much. And even then it's not terribly helpful.
Imagine having a sock and looking for the second one in a room full of clutter, eventually you find the second sock but now you need to find the first sock because you were so focused on finding the second sock that you didn't even realize you put down the first and probably made a clutter over it.
I've done this...... It wasn't a sock.... It was a pair of shoes 😹
... Try rebuilding a tractor engine😹
Every day!!!!#
Everyday with everything 🤦🏾♀️
Also, my ADHD is making this excruciatingly difficult to watch this whole video! I am fighting through!
I was lost into the comments by 48 seconds
I use the feature to speed up parts of this video because it's a bit waffly but well worth watching for all that.
Me toooooo
Me too
Oh me to. Thanks i not the only one
I've had ADHD my whole life as far back as I could remember. I was never diagnosed. They diagnosed me with everything but that. All the medications I was put on for bipolar and everything else. I suffered my whole life with it. Finally they put me on medication at the age of 47 for ADHD. It changed my life! I am so thankful one doctor was smart enough to listen to me.
Kelly Ryals what Med was that
That is such a common theme, ADHD sufferers were being diagnosed with bipolar!! So glad you get the correct diagnosis!! Do you take a stimulant? Like adderal or Ritalin?
Kelly Ryals I’m 20 and went to see my first therapist couple weeks ago and when I told her I might have add/adhd and (tried) to explain some situations she’d do everything and come to any conclusion to avoid the reason maybe being add. At first she wanted to to explain to me how I’m probably bipolar and after me laughing in her face saying she isn’t a good listener she switched it up to trying to convince me to quit school, saying I’m depressed and anxious because I don’t like school (even though I kept telling her how much I love school and learning but just can’t sit and pay attention to my homework). Have another appt. in a couple weeks with another doc. Honestly I’d love for it not to be adhd. If there’s another reason behind my inattentiveness im all ears. I just have to work on being more accurate with descriptions in my examples. I tend to be more optimistic about my situation. I could be on fire and I’d probably say it was only a little warm in here. 😂
Im going to see the psych dr on may 29th. Im 44 and i have been put on everything for depression. I have adhd
@@Kekekepeeps Maybe the therapist has ADHD herself, that explains why she kept interrupt/intrude you!
I wish I had found this video/ something like it years ago. I always thought I was just disorganized, scatterbrained, messy, forgetful, and the ultimate procrastinator. My undiagnosed ADHD led to depression and thanks to the internet I found resources and realized I’m not alone! 🙌🏼 I feel so relieved and hopeful after my diagnosis.
I think I have adult adhd. A teacher sat down with my parents when I was a child and they rejected the diagnosis. They put me in a different school and I’ve struggled all through my life. I barely passed high school and I dropped out of college. I broke down watching this video. Like you, I love how creative I can be. But I can’t get anything important done. I always chalked it up to me being a failure. But almost everything you said makes sense to me. Especially the anxiety and edginess. I’ve blown up at so many people in my life. I’ve been such a terrible person. I don’t want to be like this anymore. But I don’t have money to see anyone or get the proper medication I need. I’m still so lost.
I would check what your insurance might cover ,and even look into a counseling office that has a sliding fee scale.
Don't give up. I've been there several times. At one point in my life my wife left me, had clinical depression, left my shitty job (the people who gave it to me are amazing though) and was left with nothing. Was so low that got a loan from relatives so I could get professional retraining and support myself. Got a job, then a better job, then a even better job. Left that last job because I wanted to study, get back to uni and feel "fulfilled". Made plans, procrastinated a bit, then made new plans, procrastinated some more, now probably it is all going sideways for a bit. But the other they heard about add, more precisely the inattentive type and I think now I am getting closer to the truth. I am am currently on medication for emotional dysregulation and depression (went there for the procrastination, sensitivity and anger when overwhelmed). Just to show you that even if it is hard, and sometimes you feel you are not the best you can be, the struggle is a sign you are trying and every day closer to help yourself and live a better life.
*but the other day
Turn tho Jesus ,ask him to help you he knows what we need.🔑✝️🙏🤔😊💖
I kept trying to listen, read the comments and now am writing this while i try to listen. Like 4 minutes into the video I already knew. You reassured me into getting a diagnosis. You sound just like me. Aside from the having kids part. You said something about having to do more than one thing at a time and that was after I was typing this. It made me laugh. Thank you for your help! I have a really hard time getting things done because I get anxious with feeling I don't have enough time. Like you, I feel overwhelmed regularly. I feel inadequate. Thank you
Yes.. Girlllll... Thats exactly what I was doing
Lmaooo. I was like “lemme read these comments” because I knew I would click off if I didn’t do something
I know for me I could not prioritize anything. So everything was so overwhelming.
Holy cow, you are pretty much describing my experiences. I wonder if this is why I always liked to have the TV on in the background when I did homework as a child? My mom fussed at me about it at first, but once she realized it was just background noise and I wasn't neglecting my homework, she went with it. To this day, if it's too quiet, I can't concentrate.
wow, this whole story sounds just like my life...just switch having kids with taking on my first real professional job. I'm undiagnosed but will be tested soon. I pray it gives me some clarity
How did it go? Did you get the help you needed?
Basically the same keen to hear how it went
1000% didn't even realize I had a problem until I had my son. Now that I'm 31 and he's 4 I'm finally diagnosed and medicated.
After being promoted I found myself in a job that needed for me to be organised and be able to prioritise... my anxiety is now through the roof! I work in mental health with adolescents, my boss, a doctor of psychology asked me if I had been tested for ADHD and I laughed thinking it was a joke... I went home a couple of days ago and looked up all the symptoms and I am finding I have every one of them, my whole life is now flashing before me, struggling to focus for long, loosing things on a daily basis, being laughed at for my memory, not being able to absorb too much information at one time, my partner telling me how things work, ie basic things like the new remote control and him getting angry that I am not paying attention, forgetting appointments and procrastinating on important things and prioritising things like doing my nails, I would put post its on the mirror to remember things and know I have to do them but leave them until it was too late, taking hours to get ready for work and forever putting things in my bag and taking them out, then forgetting what I was looking for in the first place, I have been so use to this that I thought it was just my silly traits.... I haven’t even been officially diagnosed yet .... but I know, for sure I have ADHD.... Thank you for this video ...it will shine a light on many
Eleni Antoniou same. I was just promoted and needing to be more organized has made me notice these symptoms so much more than usual.
Adderall saved my life. I was misdiagnosed my entire life with anxiety disorder. but I've been doing my own research watching videos and listening to others and being told over the years at various jobs that I am so ADD. This is why I went from straight A student all through elementary schools to barely passing through middle School, eventually failing the 10th grade three times. I just couldn't sleep at night my brain was so active, so I couldn't focus during the day so school got screwed for me. I eventually got my GED much later in life. but everything you said I deal with I feel that when I was diagnosed at the age of 15 with generalized anxiety disorder it was the wrong diagnosis. I'm 37 and I feel as though I've had ADHD since then. Living without the proper medication that I need. I am going to be making an appointment in the new year as soon as I can to finally see.
Hey Chris,
Did You go ? You pretty much described me and my story.
How did it go since ?
@@lyloupanda yeah but I'm still having trouble getting it prescribed because they still want to stick to the tried-and-true anxiety and depression. however those medications don't work and what is the root cause of my anxiety is the add and not being treated, what's then leads to depression because it's so frustrating it makes me depressed. But you know I don't have a fancy plaque on my wall with a piece of paper. You're not supposed to do this butI've self-medicated over the years and when I take an adderal its amazing that my anxiety is less and so is my depression. And adderal isn't even for that.
@@TombstoneChris Shit, this is me. I haven't tried any meds though. I want to
Good Luck
@@TombstoneChris your story sounds a lot like mine.
@@TombstoneChris but if your doctors say is depression end anxiety then it must be. i guess your primary issue comes from depression and anxiety.
“I don’t math” 😂😂😂 totally with ya
Is not being able to math a common trait of ADHD people? I was not a stupid kid but I could not ... NOT remember my math facts. My teachers had me work with a special tutor.... My parents went through flash cards with me every night and I just could not for the life of me remember the multiplication, addition or division tables. It was so frustrating and disheartening for me. I am now 33 and to this day, I struggle with remembering the answer to those basic math facts. :( It was only when I started needing to deal with money, purchasing things at the store, that I was able to make any improvement, as small as that was.
I don't math either 🤣
@@kmdn1 I’m adhd and teach math. Diagnosed at 50. Some of my best students have adhd.
I'm with you...
I do 💰 but I dont do math....lol..🤑
I’m learning to love math teaching my granddaughter the new math is super fun for me, but having her read to me is super painful
When you mentioned having kids, I realized: "Well... at least I am aware enough of myself and what it would be like to have kids to have decided years ago not to have them." When I see people with kids, I just have no idea how they do it, I can tell that I would be extremely overwhelmed so I spared myself of that experience. I've always had this insanely demanding list of how I would like to raise my kids until I realized I would never be able to meet my own expectations. I am still trying to figure out how to be a functioning adult, I am kinda my own child and my own mom.
Most of us weren't planed, So Celibacy is the way to Live If u Don't want kids. Or get Fixed..
It's good to be realistic and true to yourself. To have kids because your friends do isn't necesarily good for u
Mariposa Redimida my dear,u r so much true!
There are perhaps good reasons not to have children, but I do not believe (personally) that ADHD alone is one of them. Similar to what you said about meeting your own expectations - I'm NOT able to do that. Maybe nobody is. I also was not able to have more than one child, and sometimes I think it was for the best because I get overwhelmed seeing and hearing about people with more than one child. All that said -- as a mom -- I am smarter, braver, stronger than I ever thought I could be. I'm not perfect, but I'm perfect for my daughter. She would not trade me for anything and her love and wellbeing motivates me unlike anything else can.
That last sentence is so relatable 😅 I thought this many times
"I never went and got tested or diagnosed as a child because there was nothing that was really making life hard for me as a kid. My ADHD did not get in the way of school." That's almost exactly what my parents told me -- and now as an adult working from home, countless signs point to me having ADHD.
This pandemic has forced me to no longer believe I could fix it on my own...the isolation and lack of schedule and other people...and even more projects that I was committed to getting done, and they are not done.
This video made me cry. This is exactly how I feel and I never had words to describe or understand why I've always felt like I'm running a losing race and like I can't manage myself or my life in a healthy balanced way. I will be pursuing this and I hope to find a solution for my daily overwhelm.
I wish I could love this video!! This describes me!! I’m 29 and now realizing I may have ADHD. 😞 went all my life feeling like something was wrong with me! I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I’m scheduled to get my ADHD test done next month.
How did it go? I'm 30 in the same position
Thanks, I recently got diagnosed at 40. Externally I look alright, I'm a doctor and it actually helps with the constant switching priorities on an emergency take, but it was such a struggle to get here. I am seriously not living up to potential and constantly frustrated by it. I usually end up working 2-3 hours after a shift finishes to do paperwork without distraction. I burn food and over run the bath flooding my home and lose my stuff all the time. I have got to the point where the affects on my relationships and stalled career prgression caused me to go for the diagnosis. I should start medication in the next few weeks and hope it takes the edge off the difficult bits while I can still enjoy the benefits of ADHD.
Thanks for the video, most focus on the side effects of medication rather than on the things you expressed so clearly
Diagnosed at 39, 40 now. At least you're a Dr. I LITERALLY have nothing to show for my life. Today is my 1st day on Adderall. - I pray the 2nd half of my life improves. Hope you are doing well from when this comment was posted 😇
@@mercygrace. Elvanse is possibly the best thing to happen to me. I can tell when it wears off, and am unlikely to progress much further on my career path as we have limited opportunities and I used many up prior to diagnosis. That said, I am now better at not having to do as much of the extra time for free for paperwork, so able to consider alternative options.
I think of it more as a learning and working style as just cannot see it as a disability, except for interpersonal relationships which have improved with getting settled on a dose.
I hope your diagnosis helps you too. Understanding and forgiving yourself will really help you move forward.
@@ruthe6017 Thank you so much for your best wishes. - And YES, I definitely need to work on understanding and forgiving myself for all the "wasted" years. I'm happy to hear things are looking up for you. I will make a note of Elvanse to keep on file in case Adderall doesn't work out for me.
Blessings to you 🙏
I just turned 36, and am going through so many life changes. Well, I decided to stop taking my ADHD meds in the midst of several significant life things. I felt great at first, but now 3 months later I feel like utter yuck. I have allowed too many people tell me I shouldn't need to take medication for ADHD. I am seeing my doctor next week, and I have decided to get back on the medication. I am needed to hear encouragement for this today. And I am so glad I came across your video. Thank you!
What's it like on and off the meds? Just curious as I'm considering getting a diagnosis. Here in the UK adult ADHD hasn't been recognised until 2008 just when I quit uni because I couldn't focus. Now its inability to focus is affect work, and I'm tired of changing jobs careers etc
What med are you taking ? Thanks
Karine Bérubé I was on Vyvanse and adderall. But I quit my full time job and lost insurance and vyvanse is outrageous with no insurance. So now just adderall
@@2danniegrl ok thanks Danielle. Did you have anxiety depression too ? Adherall was too strong for me, agitated ... Maybe vyvanse hummm thank your
Karine Bérubé I get anxiety more than depression. Depression is usually related to situational stuff. I’m an empath and tend to absorb energy of others so understanding that about myself has helped a lot. Medicine helps lessen anxiety for me
I wasn't diagnosed until age 44. Amen to everything you said here. Thanks so much for making this great video.
how did you get diagnosed at 44. I am 44 and I swear I need to get tested.
JennyMaine 47 for me. I feel you. :)
Hey Just wondering how did you get diagnosed. What do you say? And where do you go?
@@justawoman Just start with your regular physician. Your doctor will refer you to a psychologist that will test you and see what level of ADHD/ADD that you have. Treatment ideas start from there. Very easy to get started on the path for help. Don't wait any longer.
@@bellah25 Just start with your regular physician. Your doctor will refer you to a psychologist that will test you and see what level of ADHD/ADD that you have. Treatment ideas start from there. Very easy to get started on the path for help. Don't wait any longer.
Thank you for sharing. This is my story. The issue didn’t show until I became a parent I really appreciate you becoming vulnerable and helping me better understand myself 💕💕💕💕💕
Thanks Betsy! This makes me feel more "normal " as an adult with ADHD too.
Kristin Rocco yes I know , I’ve been accused of being lazy and stupid because I have ADDHD
I thought that I need help because the people in work also said the said same thing
Oh wow, thank you sooo much for sharing this. With all my research about ADHD I always thought, some things don't fit to my, because I liked school. I loved learning new things, I was curious and my brain can just soak up new things I find interesting like a sponge, also thinks that make sence to me.
Yet, many other aspacts of ADHD discribe me in a way that I finally feel understood.
Your video makes me feel like finally finding the last peace to the puzzle. No, waiting on my testing appointment is not such a hazzard anymore.
Best wishes from germany!!!
Thank you 🙏🏽
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It’s been life changing to realize that I’m not broken. And it’s been healing to learn that others have struggled as well.
Wow. Everything you said resonated with me 100%. The tv blaring and I'm reading a book, or the the edginess with dinner. The irritability, literally everything. And in school I never really had a hard time either. It's just recently (4 kids now). And my house is disastrous.... My room has always been that way.
Wow you may have just changed my life I'm literally in tears from this video
Such a powerful video and this is exactly what happened to me and how my life is. School was easy, I didn't think I had ADD, I just thought it was anxiety. I knew I was different, I'm awkward, I get aggravated easily when too much is going on. If I'm not snapping then I'm zoning out and checking out because I just can't deal at times... I just got diagnosed and I'm 32. Watching a bunch of videos I realize I have developed a lot of coping mechanisms to do what needs to be done but the forgetfulness is insane and I cannot control my moods. I still have a lot to work on and I'm on meds now to help also. I think this is the reason I've lost two jobs also.
I feel like I'm listening to myself watching this. So reassuring to hear somebody verbalise exactly what I have been feeling for years. Diagnosed with GAD (general Anxiety Disorder) about 4 years ago, but no treatment (meds, therapy, lifestyle changes) helped. A random chain of events led to me being diagnosed last week with ADHD, something that had NEVER even crossed my mind, or been mentioned to me in all the years I've been trying to help myself. I'm at the beginning of a new journey, and it's very early days, but just reading, watching and learning from other people that reflect what has been going on inside my head for longer than I can remember, is so reassuring. So... Thank you for posting this. It gives me hope. x
Amazing! I was relating to all of that but the key thing you said was anxiety. I've been feeling a surge of it lately and it's the scariest feeling in my life thus far. I think that's my sign
For me anytime my ADHD isn't managed it presents as anxiety. I forgot my med the other day and I was so anxious and overwhelmed. I can't prioritize well or figure out what task needs to happen first.
Anxiety is one of my big things, too. Get evaluated -- you won't regret it!!!
wow, this video literally brought me to tears. thank you for resonating so deeply. i feel like i have found my tribe :)
I finally have an appointment with my local mental health team and I'm affraid I will not be able to explain to them what you're talking about in your video and once again remain struggling and undiagnosed. I'm not sure that this condition is recognized in the United Kingdom with the same understanding as it seems in the States. I'm really sruggling with this and I'm in my 5th decade. I feel overwhelmed every moment of every day and it doesn't seem like people are understanding. I had to move out of our family home and I can't even get over town to see my kids. Thank you for your video.
Chris Priest I’m sorry. Here in the USA it’s very hard to be diagnosed. I have read that in the UK it’s much harder.
I'm so glad I found your video, my husband sent me a short on ADHD and it completely opened my eyes! I could have never guessed that I was living, breathing ADHD day in and day out. I've been listening to ADHD videos for the last 3 days straight and now after listening to yours I really am going to go get help. Thank you! ❤️
Thanks so much for another perspective on living with ADHD. I can’t think of a time when I’ve heard someone say they didn’t really notice it in school. I’m glad those years were good ones.
This is just like my story! I was great in school and I was a very calm kid. Once I started having kids my life changed completely. I felt like something was off, then I was diagnosed and I felt a huge relief.
I think you got the most hits, if not the most, one of the highest hits, on this video than your other videos.
It's unique coz a lot of us weren't diagnosed when we were kids. And yes, you're right, it appeared the moment we have children.
You really established a connection there with us.
We need more of these contents from you.
Like
Organization, or Following through Schedule?
Stuff.
Thank you for sharing and helping people to reach out and not feel ashamed. Really great video!
Thank you so much for this video. I was in tears at how similar my story is. I also did well in school.
It’s so nice to know that my “monster mommy stage” isn’t permanent and I can be the mom and have the tidy house I want to have!
Thank you for this video!! Loved what your mom told you. Comforting words. Thank you 💕
Was soo pleasant to watch you! Your mom sure did good job!
Thank you 🌻 I feel you have described so many parts of my life, and I can imagine I am not the only person who your video has helped 🌟
You are my long lost sister. I was just diagnosed. You explained the frustration that I wish I could explain to others.
I watched your video and realized I need to get checked out at the age of 64! The multiple television description really hit home. I totally feel like that at work. This has gotten worse since I had a concussion five months ago. It definately is not getting any better on its own. Thank you SO much!
Thank you for putting such a positive spin on this- this is me all the way. And it’s not the end of the world! Really changed my view when you said “my brain just functions differently”. And that comes with advantages over normal people, as well as disadvantages. Seeing someone soon!
Great video Betsy. I was diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD a few years back. Im in my late 40s ,noticed all the Symptoms and difficulties I had experienced in looking back the past 30 years. I finally spoke to a professional during and after my Divorce 3 years ago.The passed two months I have slowly weed myself off my medication but starting to notice my symptoms coming back especially with focus. After watching your video and listening to other videos my thoughts are speaking to my doctor again and going back on my medication full time again. I think I've come to realize I need to except this condition as a friend and quality of life. thanks again for your great video.
I made an appt with a psychologist 3/4 through watching this... Last night my husband finally broke down on me because I knew I needed help but was just stuck. I couldn't help myself. Its eating me alive. My anxiety is almost uncontrollable at this point. He told me he thinks I have adhd. So of course I jumped on Google... Thank you.
Raise your hand if your trying really hard to go to bed but you found ADHD videos and now your watching all of the ones that relate to your life
omg thank you, beautiful queen😭😭😭 every word in this video spoke to me and I’m gonna use it to explain to my therapist how I’ve been feeling. It’s so hard to verbalize all of this without feeling like you’re just being lazy cause of the way we’ve been socialized. I’ve had a very similar experience with schooling as well that made adhd hard to diagnose, and it wasn’t until I got to college that life became unmanageable. It’s funny cause once the diagnosis seemed evident for me, it also seemed evident for my dad, who I think has struggled with it the most throughout his life.
Wow! I am three years late, but am so grateful to have watched this. So much of this is my story especially after becoming a mom. I am just starting to get help.💗Thank you for sharing your story.
Eye opening. Thank you so much. 35 yrs old and just thinking "do I have add?" After a ex gf pointed it out. Looking back on life realizing how much stuff relates to it. Scheduled an appointment today.
Thank you so much for posting this and I wholehearted agree as a fellow boss mom I applaud you for having the courage and insight to share this!!! ❤️ I have been mulling over sharing about mine as there aren't many channels about adult mom adhd let alone mom adhd of someone who runs a business etc. I want fellow adhd ladies to know that it is possible and your dreams are possible and it's OK to be adhd. In fact most attributes are super hero like lol!!! So again, Thank you!
Thank you so much I was crying watching your video I knew I needed help but I didn’t realise my anxiety was that bad.
This was so helpful! I'm newly a mom of two and I couldn't relate more to you! I feel so overwhelmed all the time and my ability to regulate my emotions on a daily is so hard and I feel a lot of shame from it. I contacted my primary care doctor and filled out an ADHD test and I'm currently waiting for my results (even if I know in my heart 100% I must have it) this was so helpful and I feel better that I can relate to someone else. Especially the mom part which we don't talk about often because of the shame. Thank you
Yes to just about all of this. When you spoke about being overwhelmed and being anxious, I can relate. If I’m going away for the night, say and I have to pack a bag, see to my cats, go to the bus or train station, I am so anxious I become inert. It’s horrific.
I am 65 and I saw my doctor yesterday to ask for a referral. She was totally on board with this but the waiting list on the NHS (I’m in England) is TWO YEARS! So I will go private and pay. I was diagnosed with bipolar fourteen years ago, but I’ve known for a long time that there is something else going on and maybe I was misdiagnosed. We shall see.
Thank you for this video. It’s been such a huge help. I’ve subscribed. 😃👍
Thank you so much for this, that brought me to tears!
Thank you for this video. Made me cry that I'm not alone and I've suffered so long and all this time i thought i was alone. ❤❤
im not crying, you're crying. thank you. im scared for the others' opinions. but i need help and relief. so thank you for the strength.
Thank you for this. I was watching a lot of ADHD-related content, and this came up in my recommended. I booked an appointment a few days ago, yet I’m so afraid and keep having the thought “what if I don’t have enough symptoms?” Really, thank you for sharing. And to think that you were diagnosed when you already had kids! You’re amazing. I hope you are doing well until today!
I m thinking to see doctor too
Very similar in the way our minds work. My therapist said I might have ADHD, which I have been suspecting for quite awhile. Then I just saw this video and it really put me at ease. I've never had someone explain my brain as well as you just did. Thank you.
Way to go, Betsy! This has got to be one of the BEST videos I’ve ever watched about ADHD. It was so interesting to hear what it’s like for a woman who did WELL in school and THEN had trouble later. I will send this episode to my sis and a friend of mine. I was diagnosed at 30. I’m not having trouble getting through your video like some others (though I am medicated) , partially because your story is interesting, and the camera angle is so close…it’s like we’re having an intimate coffee conversation. I ought to try that angle on my channel. You and I have so much in common it’s amazing.
I'm crying realizing how much my life mirrors everything that you've talked about.
if this is what i have all this years, then it answers so many things. thankyou for this❤
Thank you for this video! It's like you were telling my story exactly. After watching your video the first time, I reached out and am now on track to get myself tested.
this hits home on so many levels! my moment when i realized i needed help is almost identical to yours!
Hoping you continue this series!
I just got help this past month finally with my ADHD. I have always had major issues with it. My family always told me I had anxiety. Definitely got worse after my daughter was born. I’ve been stuck in a very “what’s wrong with me” mindset. It’s really reassuring for me to hear all the ways you learned to work with yourself.
Thanks for this video it’s a eye opener for me. I’ve been struggling with this issue and don’t know in what way to go about it. I’ve decided to make a appointment to be checked out and get help. I’ve been in Prozac for 2 years it’s helped but I still feel lost at times. I’ve been struggling with things after I had my second child as well. It’s just an overwhelming feeling.
I've always used the TV analogy to describe my ADHD brain. Thank you so much for sharing this. It's always great to be reminded that I'm not alone in this.
As someone who lives with a spouse who has ADHD, I really appreciate the fact that you admit and realize that it affects the others around you. I don't and can't have that because they say they are just different and you just don't like that...
I've been watching a lot of adult ADHD videos while contemplating whether my own symptoms warrant an assessment. Yours is probably the first one I almost totally resonate with.
From the cyclone of a bedroom/locker/desk as a child to feeling like you have 20 TV's playing all at once as an adult to wondering "what's wrong with me?" daily. I look at others in my coworking space in awe at how long they can focus while I have trouble staying on one thing for 20 minutes without getting distracted and also cannot organize anything to save my life.
I'm now coming to terms that maybe this isn't a story I've made up in my head to explain my self-proclaimed underachievement and should seek a diagnosis. Thanks so much for sharing your story
Thank you for sharing! I can see this so much in my Mum and she's just in denial, hopefully this helps when I show it to her!
You're welcome :-)
I am glad that you are sharing your story as I too have been diagnosed with ADHD and also am on Autism Spectrum. Unfortunately back in the 70's There was no testing done for ADHD for me so therefore for many years, I have struggled with focus and lack of organization. I was taught how to adapt with my Autism. But like you said, I was able to adapt and camouflage my symptoms because before I had children, I didn't have to multi-task as much. I was always struggling with focus and organization among other things but after awhile with added responsibilities like raising my child, It all of a sudden hit me hard and in 2012 , I finally got diagnosed with ADHD and did get tested to reconfirm my diagnosis of Autism. I am so relieved that I finally know what struggles I constantly deal with actually linked to Neuorolgical functioning in my brain. It took me a long time to get past the stigma and denial.
I’ve watched this three times. I was recently diagnosed. I vaguely suspected it and never asked for that diagnosis or evaluation specifically. I’ve been working with a therapist for nearly two years.
It’s been a grief process since then. Still learning to accept.
Listening to your experience and how it didn’t become an issue until more responsibility was added really resonates with me. I’ve been a teacher at two different schools. As I become more respected at the school, I get more responsibilities added to my plate and then I meltdown more frequently cause I can’t manage the regular workload let alone all the team leader stuff. The “I want my brain to be like hers,” was a moment for me. I’ve wanted to have a more organized brain forever. To be like the people who can plan two to three weeks in advance and never get super behind. The tears I’ve shed because of my inability to organize my thoughts!
Totally makes sense.
This is SPOT ON!!! Totally relate to ALL of this!!
I really recognize the things you talk about. Feeling like "oh I gotta fix this part of my life now" or "Ah right, I had forgotten about this thing". Like many tv screens with different threads running through them, I feel like I am trying to walk in quicksand but most things is a struggle.
Going to a doctor now and I think i might have ADD, time will tell I guess. Thank you for making videos like these for us that are "new" to parts of ourselves
Hope you find the help that you need. I feel you on the quicksand. So often I feel like I just cannot get my head to think straight.
Thank you for the video! I absolutely agree with you, that if anything is getting on your way of having a fulfilling, happy life, get help! A lot of people don’t get support from loved ones about their mental health and those people get lost and discouraged. Get help from a professional, especially if you are afraid to open up to loved ones. Do not do it on your own! I’ve struggled on my own but finding people with the same diagnosis and finding the right specialist helped me to get through it.
Thank you for sharing your story! I appreciate the people who are having this discussion. It’s truly important. As for me, I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD as a teen. I’m in my mid-20s now. Interestingly enough, I’ve always hyperfocused on organization and staying tidy ( since I was a child).
😂
I wish I'd seen this earlier. I was diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago, when I'd turned 36. I've struggled with a lot of things throughout my life, but when I decided to give the university a second try and I just couldn't manage it I, somehow, ended up getting help. It was a bit of a rollercoaster ride at first, as what I was assumed to be needing help with was managing stress and procrastination (which was true, but that was just scratching the surface) but eventually it panned out. Still new to this and about to start a group CBT programme in January, and hopefully I'll be getting more on track after that. Thank you for sharing your story and this video. Very high level of relatability.
Thanks so much for sharing! My story is soooooooooo similar!! Like almost exactly the same!!! It’s encouraging to know I’m not broken or alone!
This is so helpful. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you so much. I was recently diagnosed with ADD at 49. My entire life has been a train wreck and now I know why. I'm having a very difficult time coming to terms with it and my marriage is barely on a thread. I don't want to feel broken but I sure as heck do.
I am waiting for an appt with a psych for an assessment (I'm 49) and this video is the first one I've watched that explains my experience perfectly! Thank you so much
Omgolly “mismanaged ADHD presents as anxiety”.
Nail on the head there.
In school, I could make extra efforts and coast on those during tougher times. In college, I had support from something called The Learning Effectiveness Program and even earned a leadership position and began speaking to younger students about succeeding in college with ADHD.
Motherhood is my undoing. 3 kids, with 1 special needs… nobody’s coasting. Effort alone can’t hack it. Results are constant failure and they pay the price for my mistakes and it’s not fair to them, and their dad lost respect for me and it’s not fair to any of us.
Before becoming a mother, I could manage a growing non-profit providing international medical missions to developing nations but can’t manage the medical schedules or paperwork associated with tracking the growth and education of my own children.
The tools that worked so well back then: a planner, organizer, desk, syllabus, list of goals and strategies… don’t get the laundry or dishes done consistently enough to find all the wool socks and gloves they need for snow days at school.
How can I model self control and regulation for them when I’m so bad at it and impulsive myself? How can I illustrate maturity when I get so frustrated with myself that I actually feel ashamed on their behalf they got stuck with me as a mom.
Efforts aren’t enough. Kids rely on results. Good intentions aren’t enough to get the tasks completed, put away, and prepared for the next day in time.
Other women make it look easy, even make it look good, made me feel worthless as a human being for not fulfilling my feminine potential by bearing and raising children (ahem, society) but they’re not raising my poor kids.
Luckily, the kids are intelligent, resourceful, loving, and fun. Not to mention resilient and understanding, forgiving.
But I’m disappointing myself being the mother I am versus the mom I thought I’d be, the mom I wish I could give to them. Instead I’m full of anxiety.
Motherhood is a fantasy. The reality is laundry and dishes that never end and poopy accidents… and messes … so many messes being made while you clean the first that you can never catch up - like makeup homework you missed for a month because - ew - math, right?
The kids are worth more than grades, and you can’t make up homework task their lives. They get 1 go around at childhood. That’s the only priority.
Sorry, this morning was a bad day. Such is life. Can only bounce up from here, until tomorrow, right?
Thank you for this
wonderful n refreshing to hear stories of how adhd can present differently or at different stages in life
Mental health is very important, this video spoke to me. I have an appointment set for next week. I will keep you posted and thank you very much for your honesty, for your brave heart, and for embracing your adhd gift.
Thank you so much! It's time we break the stigma associated with things like ADHD, anxiety, depression, etc.
Diagnosed 3 days ago.tips
I got that same diagnosis a year ago. Stay strong bro. It's a hell of a double whammy to live with. But keep fighting the good fight.
I have ADHD I grew up like normal child my parents don't know that I have it. Its a bloody search for help here in the Philippines. I am 27 and All I can remember is my bad childhoo my battered mom and her death and that is 7 years ago. I don't know what to do feeling stock I have talent but I just can't get help. I am alone always alone fighting..
@@boringkantada5138 even if we do feel alone, we are not. There is a whole tribe out there (as Jessica Mccabe always says), and we have to help each other out.
Be strong. You are beautiful, worthy and you are not wrong. Best wishes and hugs!
this was superrrrrrr helpful!!!! thankyou so much!! you don't knw how much this meant to me 🙏🙏🙏
You are welcome! this is why I share
You just described my whole life. This is my life… my own mother tells me it’s normal when you have little kids but I know the way I feel can’t be normal. Thanks so much for sharing. I am getting evaluated on Friday..
Let me start off by saying that I really appreciate this video and your presentation style. This whole thing was so eerily relatable. I started doing some research into adult ADHD diagnosis about a year ago after doing the usual medical TH-cam binging and getting into mental health, and some of the ADHD content was spookily similar to my experiences.. I thought, well, go do some research. I've since learned that not only does mismanaged ADHD lead to omnipresent anxiety, once you reach that point where you shut down and can't escape or resolve the core issues, you can fall into deep depression, and that was where I was spending so much time that they misdiagnosed me with bipolar and loaded me up with meds that did not target the core issues. Despite years of insistence and presenting with the same issues, demanding something different than the mood stabilizers and antipsychotics and cubic fucktons of bupropion because I felt like I wasn't living life, just enduring it, I finally got an appointment for testing. For me, depression came with and after the anxiety; both are comorbid with ADHD, and I have ASD as well. I had a meltdown with psychosis (they were treating me with antipsychotics at the time... bless their little hearts) and finally got referred to see an actual psychiatrist, and he did more for me in one hour than any of the 6-8 hours of testing I went through. Describing what you're feeling to a knowledgeable professional is both cathartic and ESSENTIAL to feeling this way. Your video was so = relatable, though I don't have kids -- I just get frustrated and anguished about taking care of my cats' litter box and put it off for days lol. But yeah, the more videos I found like yours and the more I listened, the more it became obvious I did need help. I've been on Adderall for about 2 months now and we're still tweaking the dosage, but I started just as I was beginning training for a new job, and holy crap, did it make a difference for me. Meds aren't the solution for everyone, I'm just saying that in my case they made a tremendous difference, and being in touch with the right mental health professional has made a world of difference. I truly appreciate all your advice in this video. It's super affirming to know you're not the only one who lives with these things! Thank you, and be well. :)
Thank you, Thank you so much. Some times I feel like i'm going crazy. I started crying when you explained how you felt. That is exactly how have being feeling for the last 2 years with things progresively getting worse. I have spoke with my doctor and have an appointment with a spychiatrist . Let's what happens, Thank you.
Sometimes i find myself crying at night because i feel constantly overwhelmed and just mentally exausted. I find it hard to go to the store with the kids because I just hear so many noises, to the point where i can't focuse it's like I'm in theme park with noise and so many people around me.
Thank you so much for posting this video. I too have the disorder and made a video about it after getting fired last week...
yes! thank you so much for being honest! I can relate to this so much!
You're describing my exact situation. I'm starting the journey to get help with this. Thank you for making me feel not alone :)
You are not alone! Praying you find tools that help!
I just wanted to say this video was an eye opener for me. You described me and my feelings down to a T, so much so that I was literally crying through some of it because it resonated so strongly with the feelings I've had over the years. I've called myself lazy so many times because often I shut down when overwhelmed with things to do because I don't know where to start etc. I have said for years, why can't I just be more organized and neat like everyone else...what is wrong with me? And the anxiety I feel is unreal. I too often start getting snippy with others when there is a lot on my plate. Thank you so much for this video
Thank you for sharing your story. It motivates me to keep sharing to help others not feel alone.
Kayleigh Grian Just put stuff in a specific spot and NEVER EVER change it. Keys go in key bowl where you can see them. Purse goes on that hook. Cell phone goes there. Very simple. Found mine on brain scan.
@@betsyjoythompson where is your other videos, its just feel like me