To clarify: “hang around people you want to be like” yes, who can inspire you. Uplift you, give you ideas how you can improve your life and mental health aka how me and my friends are with each other. Not try to look like them, date their boyfriends or exes… I feel like my words often get taken out of context and the more I grow the more people are waiting for me to mess up… i have no Ill intentions in any of my videos/ advices some might not resonate but that’s up to you to ignore that’s it. Anyways have a blessed evening. I love you all and appreciate you all so much 🙏🏻♥️♥️♥️♥️
I was the one dragging everyone down with my depression . It's disturbing to realise how toxic I was. I'm so glad I found Liz. Now I can be a better version on myself for everyone and myself
@Milana Kim what commenter meant is some would give a 20 minute video of bs to advertise for overpriced lessons or books or wutv meanwhile liz just posts her things on yt for free for us !
i feel like something is wrong with me because i keep attracting toxic people. My mom said its because I'm a people pleaser, people treat me like that because i allow myself to be treated like that.
@@melanymancinicorleone4725 it's okay everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect the fact you recognize ur toxic behaviors and are trying to improve that's good enough
i’m finding it very difficult right now to let go of a friendship, in which i have come to realize i will never feel and be treated as i deserve, no matter how much i give. thank you for these words Liz, i never wanted to give up on anyone, but i can see that this person was never a true friend to me in the first place. i’m sending love and strength to anyone in the same situation right now 💛
right now im in the same situation and i dont really know what to do since a lot of people are telling me that we should stay friends,should i listen to them? i dont really know lol
this woman is literally out here giving us THE BEST advice for free. i really need someone to talk like you do, to me. thank you so much for doing this liz !
quite late but.. I do too! and it helps so much because now i actually reflect on my problems and seek ways to evolve from my mistakes, wayyy better than what i was before Love ya Liz
Recently I have been backstabbed by a friend, this video somehow made me feel better. Thankyou Liz. You're truly like an elder sister guiding young people. ❤
Last month I ended two long lasting friendships because I felt like they were jealous of me, of my havings, of my surrounding, of my family… and they didnt even hide it because their behaviours were so clear to me. I HAD TO END IT. Because I was feeling miserable all the time, i felt like they didnt want me around because they were jealous and envious of me. After 15 years of friendship, I called it quits. Yes now i feel very lonely and dont hang out so much but i prefer it this way rather than feeling unhappy because of them. I am so relieved I realised it. Thank You liz for evrrything you do to us you are special
✨ Timestamps ✨ 1:14 - They are not honest with you 3:02 - They come to you for advice but they are not there when you need them 3:46 - They don't see you as a friend, they see you as competition 5:10 - They create and spread rumors about others 6:50 - Do not share personal details and secrets with them 7:10 - They bring your mood down 7:42 - They downplay your achievements 8:01 - Keep the contact as limited as possible 8:22 - They have no respect for your boundaries 9:22 - They never suggest to pay for anything or try to use you for what you have 10:50 - People feel comfortable talking negatively about you to them 11:56 - They are ashamed of you 13:06 - Don't take it personal 13:35 - Find friends that you want to be like
i was friends with a girl that sometimes it was so draining to be around her, and i knew i should've already ended up a long time ago this thing that wasnt even a friendship. When i did, i think it was the best time of my life, when i tell you my life got 1000x better and that i never had any more problems like before, im being DEAD SERIOUS
This video helped me notice toxic behaviors not just from others but from myself too thank you Liz for helping me realise and become a better person myself
When I tell you this girl is speaking nothing but FACTS! I’ve recently been experiencing this for the first time at 31 years old and it is truly disheartening. Especially when you think you’re really cool with someone then you start to pick up on certain behaviors. Bottom line you really cannot be friends with someone who is either envious of you or very insecure within themselves. They’re going to feel some type of way about every little thing you say or do to the point where you start shrinking yourself and holding back to preserve their feelings. GO WHERE YOU ARE CELEBRATED. 🎉❤
Tips: 1. They are not honest with you 1:15 2.They come to you for advice but they are not there when you need them 3:03 3.They don't see you as a friend, they see you as a competition. 3:47 4. They create and spread rumours about others. 5:10 5. They bring your mood down 7:11 6.They downplay your achievements 7:43 7. They have no respect for your boundaries 8:22 8. They never suggest to pay for anything or try to use you for what you have 9:22 9.People feel comfortable talking negatively about you to them. 10:50 10. They are ashamed of you 11:56
I had a friend who copied EVERYTHING I did. Then she tried to invite me on a date under a bridge with strange men. I cut her off right then. She tried to put me in a dangerous situation, and kept asking when I said no. Jealous friends are dangerous.
@@pedobearina she said she wanted me to go under a bridge at night with her and two guys we didn't know. She said they wanted to show us a "secret rockwall".
I am autistic and I didn’t even realize that I was a negative friend until I was called out by a few people in my friend group (mainly because I don’t understand social cues and how it negatively affected those I loved). I’m doing a self reflection on what I can to do better right now, so I don’t end up hurting my friends again. Thanks Liz!
I had a similar situation except my friend was the one with autism. Unfortunately he doesn’t think he’s the problem and refused to change to become a better person so it’s rlly sweet that u know and want to improve.
Babe it's okay, honestly the fact that you're acknowledging your errors is a step in the right direction, and it's a step A LOT of people don't even think to take, proud of you and I wish you the best on your reflection journey :)))
I was going through a panic attack and feeling miserable because my friend who is going through something triggered me by bringing up my past traumas to compare it. I came here. Thank you.
Another thing, if you have friends who you have known for a long time, don’t stay friends with them for who you use to know. If they have changed and they do not aline with you anymore. Let it go. Liz I adore you, thank you for being here and sharing with us. ❤️
thiss is so true i had a great friend since last 10 years and she changed made new friends literally we studied in school as well as college together but i suffered but now i am over it you are absolutely correct
And don't stay friends with them just for the sake of that you've been their friend for a long time/you don't want to loose a "long time" friend because in the end they will leave you and you'll be left with NOTHING and emotionally drained! It's not too late to leave them and end this abusive cycle, there are people that have been friends with someone for 30 years and have left that person because they know they aren't good for them!
All of these points are so accurate. Thank you for the confirmation that loneliness is a lot better than a load of draining and competitive energy. I’m so open to healthy friendships now but it’s hard to open up again after years of mind games.
Wow the Copying thing is SO real. It sounds so vain when I try to explain that women do this but I've experienced this is very creepy ways from SEVERAL women. Going to the shops and buying the same strange things I buy. Not basics like black tee and jeans. I'm talking VERY specific identity style. On top of that I've had women copy my laugh, use my name when ordering food for take out, sleeping with men I find funny, pretending to know my other friends but when introduced they have no idea who they are. How can one become friends with strange behaviour like that. Little things are cute but when you steal my name/identity, it becomes serious.
Her BRAIN IS AMAZING. Even tho she has learnt all this with over experiences she's had with time. This is amazing! She literally KNOCKS sense into us!. Liz is the elder sister, bff, mentor we needed!
She is the definition of HEALTH. I’m blessed and honored that you exist, Liz. You changed all of us and I am happy that people are getting healthier by watching you. The world is going to be better. Thank you! ❤
@@Patrycja-qe5fj You don’t have to take it that way actually. Being a narcissist VS being confident and knowing your worth are two different things. It’s also true that between this two it’s a very thin line, but I don’t see Liz as a narcissist. She is just giving advise for those who deserve more but don’t know how to put themselves into a healthy position and that’s why these people arrive in abusive relationships of all nature. Take care! ❤️
liz literally made my mood better. so i'm having a hard time right now since my so called friends is like starting to destroy my reputation by talking bad about me behind my back, but liz lecturing me, describing that i should avoid those kind of people things and then i realized that liz is literally describing all their traits and now i realized that they don't actually deserve my kindness since all they did was to pull me down and make me lose myself even more but now i'm done.
Omgg, I was feeling so anxious because a “friend” said something to insult me in a subtle way and bring me down. She always does this probably because I’m always in a positive happy state when we talk and she’s negative and unhealthy on the inside. I felt instantly better from watching this video the anxiety faded away thank you for yelling at us 🙈 we need to hear all of this exactly the way you said it 🙌🏼👏🏼👊🏼
i recently blocked one of my closest friends 2 weeks ago and i have NEVER been happier i swearr. they were so negative and she was always trying to be friends with my other friends to seem more likeable like me. after i stopped being friends with her, i unadded everyone that was in the same group that i was hanging with off all my socials and ive started to hang around friends that are what i wanna be like. they’re outgoing, SOO positive, so uplifting, kind, funny, gorgeous. and its recently making me feel so much better energetically. THANK YOU LIZ 💞
I blocked mine about 3 days ago. Feel bad but this girl is always in crisis, always complaining, blaming, being a victim, not taking care of her kids, deluded, living in fantasy, and draining me during a time of hardship in MY life. Even homeless I am positive, hard working, a good mom, exercise, and stay optimistic/persistent to succeed. Couldn’t take it anymore 🫤
i used to be a people-pleaser, and these types are literally my ex-friends in the past. these people are literally bitter when you are happy or you achieved things. they literally are toxic. The Snakes indeed. i left those friends and circle and i never feel so grateful. i learn to forgive myself too because im the one allowing them to hurt me and use me all this time.
I feel like I can't "afford" to cut out this one friend I have who is kinda like this. Especially when we were younger I feel like she would always try to "sabotage" me behind my back and downplay my successes in a way that made me feel the need to also downplay anything good that I had going for me. The problem is, and the reason that I say I can't "afford" to cut her out, is that she's been my "closest" friend for 11 years, and we're also going to be living together with another friend next year... She's gotten a lot better and mature now, but I lowkey feel like I have sm trauma from when we were younger. She'd always say to me that I was her best friend, but still would have a separate group of friends that she didn't want me interacting with, and tell me that they didn't want me there. I think that's a big part of the reason why I'm so insecure today, bc she made me feel like people didn't really want me around. In a way I let her control me, which I feel sorry to my younger self for. But now she's me oldest friend and I don't really have a lot of friends, so I feel like it's dramatic and unrealistic to cut her off completely, but I also don't know how to heal this trauma while living with her. Sorry for dumping all of this on you, you don't have to reply !
@@liii3622 hii thats really relatable to the old me! trust me i was that kinda person who downplay my achievement or dim my light just to make them comfortable. if thats not the first red flag i dont know what. cus true friends should not be bitter about each other happiness for me i realize these people will eventually prevent me from reaching my higher self. the second thing, if she literally sabotage you behind your back thats another red flag too. im afraid she could be the type who spread fake rumors about us (it really happened to me one of these girls sabotage the guy who was interested to me back then). and then to the point she makes you feel insecure abt yourself. thats the biggest red flag imo. i know cutting toxic people is really hard. its actually part of my awakening process. i saw the truth their pattern, cut toxic people and then still heal myself from the trauma and my insecurities (people-pleaser person has the biggest insecurity all time). i know its hard especially if its friend for long period time, please try to set up your boundaries straight in the future, - dont downplay your success and dont dim your light around them (see their reaction) - confront them when you found out they sabotage you (see their reaction) but beware of gaslighting and playing-victim attitude. i believe the universe made us see the pattern of this toxic people for a reason. more than anything i believe that great connection isnt based on how long we know each other. its not about the quantity of time but the quality. i hope you see the light from here💗
Thank you for the upload on this topic ! I get treated like shit from my friends and family unfortunately . They make me feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells around them , plus I feel as if I don't exist . They keep competing against me as well .
I have this one friend that is there for me when things are bad, yes I can talk to her. But whenever I start to feel happy, fulfilled, or something good happens to me, I have a good life - she is gone. It's like she can't stand seeing me happy. Like it bothers her that I am happily married, that I have passions etc.
Hey can i pls get some advice, i have this “friend” who i used to be friends with but i sensed she was fake, she would look at me weird when im not looking, befriend my friends, do the same things i would, her compliments never sounded genuine, & around guys she acted diff, she’d bodyshame ppl etc. so i told her “were not friends” and was straightforward, she acts fake nice and ppl think shes sweet so she started telling our mutual friends in public that i wasnt friends w her, and just try to get me humiliated. Multiple times. Like make it known to everyone. & she befriended all my friends & acts like a pick me around the guy she thinks i like and whenever i speak to him, she butts in the convo, says something flirty or friendly to him then looks to see my reaction, shes always near me, always listening to my every convo, whenever i say something slightly wrong she jumps in to correct me, on exams/tests she jumps to ask me what i got/what i did & says snarky comments from now and there. Shes been saying shady/backhanded comments for so long and ive just been ignoring her. Atp shes fr talking to herself 💀 when i talk w ppl she tries to get into the convo, i dont talk nor do i even look at her but i can constantly feel her looking, listening and doing everything in her power to know what im doing. Do i just keep doing me? When i do stuff better than her she went “i know, she always does 1 point better than me” in a condescending tone. Am i not right to think shes fake? She tries to maintain a good appearance & puts me down but then shell act nice sometimes then go back to backhanded comments. Ive just been ignoring her
She's totally fake please throw her away. Your comment made me so mad because it blows always my mind whenever I see how fake and bad humans can be, it's so disgusting! And as I can deduce from her actions you explained here, she is definitly jealous of you! People who think that the life of someone else is better, are trying to be like the person to achieve the life the person has because they themselves are unhappy with their own life. You should feel proud because she actually admires you and puts this with negativity and hate because of her jealousy! Talk with her and tell her that her actions r not okay and that she should stopp otherwise you talk with the teacher or do not remain silent and see how she puts you down instead stand up for yourself and defend yourself! You can do what she does to you what is probably not the best or you can just point her away. Next time she interrupts your conversations tell her to go away ( You can say: Sorry but I have to talk with him/her alone) if you want to be gentle what you actually don't have to be but I know it's somtimes hard to sound rude (even tho it's not really rude). If she says that you always have one more point in test than her then say yes I have. Feel proud of it, she should feel bad that she has one point less, what she actually does because otherwise she wouldn't point that out. Overall, she is jealous and that's a fact! I don't know if I could help you but yeah...I hope you are brave enough to show that you are valuable and that not anyone can do with you whatever they want to, wish you a good day, byeee
@@n.p2809 thank you so much, ever since i made that comment shes done so much more & i just reread my comment & realised that despite all i listed, i left out SO much more that she did. Problem is shes in my class & everyone around me has befriended her bc as i said; shes fake nice & people fall for it. Thats why i didnt like her from the beginning cus i saw through her act. Thank u so much though. At this point I’ve been overall just focusing less on her & trying not to let her get to me but its a bit hard. I have stood up for myself a couple times and she seemed intimidated when i called her out in front of people. But nothing’s changed except she doesn’t do stuff as bad as she used to. Shes still salty & has done so much more to the point it would take me too long to list. But yeah, I can’t just call her out cus the stuff she does/says are subtle. Like the kinda stuff that i can’t call her out on cus they’re sneaky. & I can’t tell my friends why I don’t like her bc she befriended them & i would not be surprised if they like her more than me. That’s why I’m waiting for her to do something obvious so i can call her out & people would believe me. The comment that u replied to, i wrote it while i was legit in tears & crying cus I didn’t know what to do. She has stuff going on at home which i feel sorry for her and i can see why it pushes her to act this way but it’s still nowhere near an excuse. So yeah, I can’t tell my teachers or friends but i could subtly try to get advice from them. Thank u so much for ur kind words 😊 i hope u have an amazing day! Ur very kind! I’ll keep trying to be the bigger person !
@@HoneydewHelen please do not waste your time with worthless people like that and do not care about what they do or try to do. focus on yourself and yourself only. that is all i can say
This video came out exactly a week after I stopped talking to half of my « friends » for the same reasons you listed in that video, all of it. They tried to make me feel guilty about it saying that I was the bad person, but since discovering you and you’re channel I know my worth and I’ve been stronger than ever. I don’t doubt myself anymore, I take care of myself, I LOVE myself, I’m confident and brave and independent and it’s thanks to you (and me too of course because in the end I was the one willing to make a change). Thank you so much. You literally saved my life (more than you can think of really). Thank you for showing people their best version of themselves. ❤️
I have been with some friends for a long time and I feel embarrassed to be around them because they don't want to change or improve so they stay as "losers". I don't want to be that so I'm not reaching out to them anymore, trying to break the friendship as it felt quite pointless. It was probably only known as a friendship because of school. One of them even dated the other's ex ( a big no-no). This video has given me more confidence to find new friends. Thank you, Liz.
I've 4 friends like that. A friend who wants to be me. A friend who tries to humble me down. A friend who doesn't respect my boundaries. A friend who always trauma dumps but never listens. I've woken up liz! F these people
this video came at the perfect time for me. just dropped a “friend” that saw me as competition getting close to me to be like me. trying to look like me, using me in social situations, always bringing up my ex, & so many hidden bad intentions. she’s playing the victim now that I cut her off but I’m just relieved & so happy that I did. no more being drained
I was feeling guilty about not wanting to be around my friends anymore but i always felt so drained after i talked to them. I just realized that maybe i need to move on while i was reading their group chat and EXACTLY at that moment, this video came up and i learned alot from you. There is just something miraculous about you. Thank you so much for inspiring me to start my healing journey, and to start working on achieving my goals, thank you for this reality check in the form of your videos that took me out of self pity. I respect you so much
I felt the same way because I am going through the same situation. I got out of it and it really opened my eyes to see how much they switch up and become evil and spread lies. Believe me you’re better off leaving. I feel so much better now and you deserve to feel that way too
I just to say, thank you so much for making this video. Especially, mentioning the part about how toxic people will make you feel worthless. Not to say too much about myself, but so many people tried to dehumanize in my life, it's ridiculous. I'm not perfect, no one is, but I really didn't deserve to be treated the way I was. I'm glad that you're here showing the light to people so that maybe, at least, they can heal from their traumatic encounters with toxic people.
I recently stopped talking to one of these types of friends. I remember I once confided in her about my grandma's cancer diagnosis, she listened for maybe 30 seconds pretending to be interested with one word responses, then steered the conversation back to about her dog having the poops. We talked about that for maybe 30 minutes. I genuinely did feel bad for her poor dog (who was better the next day), but the whole time I was shaking, feeling so upset about my grandma internally. She's the type of friend who always has to have the attention, even in moments like that. She's the sickest, or she's the most stressed or shes the most tired etc. So glad I phased her out. Just had to get this off my chest!!
Girl i have a similar friend. “BEST FRIEND”It’s the WORST. I literally moved away to a whole different country and NOT ONCE did she ask how I’m doing or how it is there. The only things she talks about is how her laundry detergent gives her Rashes or how she keeps burning her toast in the morning. She knows I’m happy and doing great things, but she is so bitter about it. It’s been months and I’m still waiting for her to ask me how my new life is🤣
@@riri_bbk You are absolutely right love. I’m not holding my breath. Its just so irritating to me. She was crying her eyes out before I moved, and now she doesn’t even seem to care how I’m doing. I am an active poster on social media and she sees I’m doing great things. Of course im not posting for anyones approval, I’m doing it for myself. BUT it’s like she never asked one single question about my move. Ugh. Lol sorry had to relieve some steam
@@Happinessiskey1234 Sis thats a bitter fake and jealous friend! Believe me, she sees and even sneaky watch every post of yours but these kinda friends dont like that their friend doing better than themself. Please stay away from this friend. Or wait a bit for her message if she will send one, if not, give a distance to this friendship.
watching this has made me realize that I have a few toxic behaviors myself and it wasn't only until I lost a friend to make me know it & I was changing but I wasn't being true to myself. This is also making me appreciate the current friends I have so I need to appreciate them more. Thank you liz for being real & inspirational ❤
It’s nice to see how ppl now watching content that helps them to grow, I am happy that we create content what helps ppl to improve their lives, I am happy to help people
A lot of the toxic people in my life who ended up showing their true colors always said similar things in the beginning when they were so charming and sweet and it was always “ one day I want what you have” and to anyone that’s flattering to hear and you encourage them to do so (thinking they meant one day a life of their OWN) but what they really meant was they want what YOU have without wanting to put any of the work in. They want to take and take and take.
I dropped my friend who keeps saying mean things about me and my looks. I felt so good after but then I felt like I was a bad person after dropping her and was telling myself “maybe she was just joking around” but while watching this video I noticed that she was honestly not worth my time and thoughts. She was never good for me and never will. Liz is a queen
How did you do it? im afraid of dropping my toxic friends cause if i leave them i will be alone in class and whole school... Really idk how to do sorry for disturbing you😕
@@hers0uls Hi ,same here I litteraly dropped all of my old friends and sat somewhere else because energy was too draining And i think you should stay with them for a temporary and also make new contacts with other people
@@anujingooa694 I think no one else in class to contact but tysm for the advice I will try!!💌 I will try to be as distant as possible because they really make me feel worthless and it feels awful, It's even worse that I don't have any other friends...
@@btluvz2920 yes, they really make me feel worthless and insignificant.. Even though I pretend not to be sad, everything they say is running in my head and I get depressed. Ik that the only way to get rid of them is to cut off communication with them, but it's really hard for me, we sit in the same row and we are in the same class. Actually I'm afraid of being alone. I will try that you said and tysm for the advice!!😭💕💕
When I got deeper into spirituality, friends who like gossiping about other people's miseries, friends who are draining my energy, friends who act up when I'm having a good moment in my life, friends who are lowkey envious, etc. I completely cut them off. I was told by my mom that I was being too b*tchy about these friends but in fact, detaching from these people made me more happier. Because they were blocking my blessings and sending me evil eye. Just because these people are alright to be with in some cases, doesn't mean they're the right people to be with. Bless you all and love you Liz❤
YES!! EXACTLY!! Thank God someone finally said this Im glad i kicked all the disgusting assholes out of my life and moved on. I'm so much happier now💖💖💖
Hey , I just realized ny friends do 8 of those things and I never ever realized it... Im crying rn I just can't believe it I thought they were good friends but no. The most relatable part was bring my mood down, like they would cone hit me like they have the right to do it and be like "oh its just my love language" or be like"your face just makes me want to hit you"....... I don't know what to do
A couple of months ago I ended a ten year friendship with two girls. The reason was that they were portraying ALL these behaviours that Liz is talking about. Watching this video stung a little because it made me realize again how long I had accepted their behaviour and thought I needed them. I wish I had Liz' videos 10 years ago, I would have never put up with people's bs like I had. Ending these friendships was the most freeing decision ever and to this day I love my life without them. No relationship/friendship can be to long to be ended at one point. I wish everyone watching this video the strength to cut out the toxic people of which this video reminded them.
I’m proud of you! I used to have friends like that as well but the truth is what matters is how we feel as individuals regardless of how long we spent trying to be with others. You’re doing the right thing keep going 💕
I am currently also friend with these two girls...we are friends for like 12 years..but now as we are growing up..i kinda feel like they are taking me as granted...i dont know....i feel like okay i might be wrong..maybe its time to feel what my soul is trying to tell me...
It's only when you end it that you start seeing how long they have been mistreating you, at least that was the case for me. The hardest part is that it hurts and that I still felt like I owed them? And that's what can get stuck in your head and make you go back to them. :/
@@Madeliefschram ikr...this is the feeling...i feel like maybe im wrong....then again i feel like there's a wall between us...like as we are growing up now i feel like the bond is not as strong as we thought it is..and you know we rarely talk with each other now..its like we are tired and dont wanna give anymore effort in our friendship..i do understand cz everyone's getting busy with there personal stuffs so...
I had a friend like this for almost a year, and only 2 months ago I realized what a horrible friend she was, she would constantly vent to me when I was busy with my own depression, and I don't mind my friends venting to me, I really don't. But she knew I struggled with my own problems yet she constantly put her stress onto me. She kept being a horrible human being, she would steal, drink, go to parties, complain all the time, and I had told her multiple times that I am not her mother or her therapist and she kept going. Finally with the help of my other friends who Is amazing, I finally left her, she tried to keep me with her but I knew it was for the best. Thanks to Liz I know not to attach myself to anyone or anything anymore, so when I left her, I didn't even care to be honest, yes it may have been a bit sad, but I was fine, and I still am. Tysm for everything Liz, you have helped me in ways you could never imagine, you saved me when I needed it, I'm still working on my life and confidence, as well as my appearance, and with the help of you it has been going so well, tysm
" if somebody doesn't respect you, they don't respect it. That's it. You can see it in their actions" I needed this so bad... and the angry tone was the best!!!
For those who need to hear it, many people who are kind hearted tend to find purpose in helping others, which is awesome, but please direct it appropriately, such as volunteering. You do not need to take on or keep charity friends or relationships because you see potential. You need to be growing yourself, not trying to fix people who didn’t ask for it. So much unnecessary stress on that path. So in case you’re just now noticing a pattern of people using you or exhausting your energies, consider this a first way to address it.
I reached out to my friend to let her know I made an attempt to unalive myself and she didn’t bother checking on me (not even a hey) for like a week or two, never checked how I was doing mentally or if I needed anything. The kicker was that we live together. Broke my heart tbh
That isn't your friend, they are just someone you live with. NO friend would leave their friend on their own during such a serious time. I'm sorry you didn't have their support, I'll be your friend, you need to vent or anything hmu
All the points that you've mentioned literally resonates why I cut 70% of my friendships. Especially 10:50 - 11:56 perfectly explains how my ex-best friend was so toxic. I was tired of being called "defensive" from every person that disrespected me this year. They're more focused on justifying their shitty behaviors regardless. Thank you for this video, you're a gem! 🌹
I took two pages full of notes from this video. thank you Liz. I'm starting my job next week and I'm going to a special school to study for this job. I want a new start and a GOOD start from the beginning on and I'm gonna do what is in my control to reach that.
liz never misses!! also to add, if you’ve ever done anything that she listed but have been doing the work and watching her videos to be better, you are already on the path to being a great friend to those who are WORTHY and deserve your energy.
i can acknowledge that i’ve been a bad friend when it comes to sharing how i feel in that moment and i just ended three friendships because i didn’t feel like a good friend and i felt that they weren’t the best for me. life happens and when it comes to feeling drained all around with them and i kinda felt like they didn’t value me as a friend.
Stopped texting first to my best friend of 5 years only to realize how much i matter to her. She has not contacted me for over a month yet still views my stories. Whenever we talked this year she turned it around to be about her, never got a say in the convo....guys and girls, pick up your battles and your people carefully in this big messy world.
When this video came out I was still friends with my best friend. Throughout our friendship I had family members and other friends coming up to me saying they had a bad feeling about her. I ignored everyone and stayed friends with her for almost 10 years. After watching this video I came to the conclusion that she fits many of these categories. She made me cut ties with other friends, I became very negative and the most important thing: I could never be myself around her. A month after this video I sent her a message with all the things I’ve always wanted to say, but never had the courage to do so. At the end of the message I told her that I’m no longer interested in the friendship and ended it just like that. For anyone reading this and thinking about doing the same, think about how your specific friendship makes you feel. Does it drain you? Please end it, it’s never too late and hang around with people who love you for being you. Thank you Liz and God bless you all❤️
This is INSANE!! I just finished watching one of your videos like an hour ago. I’m going through this exact thing right now. I just cut off basically my best friend (who is also my cousin) because I finally started to put myself first and she was constantly being manipulative,possessive,and negative/draining. I’ve been crying on and off for the past few days because I feel so bad about it even though I SHOULDNT she went out of her way to call my mom in which my mom took her side saying “if it was anyone else I wouldn’t have cut them off” and I admit in the past I’ve had toxic relationships and I’ve learned and continue to learn every day. It sucks sometimes having such a huge heart because even though I know I’m right for cutting off people who don’t treat me right I can’t help but second guess myself and feel like shit. I’m sick and tired of trying to help others who DONT want to help themselves. And being there for people who DONT value me. Thank you so much Liz you’ve seriously been helping me grow as a person and I’m excited to finally reach my highest self.
So proud for you for doing this! I know exactly how you feel cuz Im a giver too but when Im going through a hard time no one’s there. And you end up drained and depleted. 😔
@@zara7276 thank you so much! I feel you 100% it’s kind of like a codependency thing. In the beginning you both are there for eachother and it’s genuine, but once you try to get your life together and realize that it’s not healthy for either of you, that person wants to make you feel bad for putting yourself first. I know I made the right decision and I shouldn’t be second guessing myself. It’s okay to feel scared of the unknown especially when you’ve really only had that one person you’d talk to constantly. I don’t know you personally but just know you will find your people! People are naturally drawn to people with positive energy and when you’re a genuine sweet person you will attract people who love and cherish you 💗 even if it takes time they WILL come. I hope your life is full of happiness and love :)
that's another point liz didn't mention these snakes will call your mom and try to ruin your most precious relationship my crazy toxic ex-wife did this three times already
@@denisblack9897 FR!? Like dude why bring my mom into this? This is between us? We are grown we should be able to handle situations like ADULTS. Which is also crazy because I’m younger than the girl. Then my mom will make me feel bad even though SHE was the one who told me the person was toxic and I didn’t need to be around them and to “love them from a distance”. Humans are so complex and confusing…
so proud of you for doing that!! right now I have the same situation with my best friend who is my cousin too I know she is really manipulative and I'm scared to cut her off, I know she will spread every single thing about me and make me look like the villain but I'm trying my best and hopefully, I will cut her off soon.
I’m telling you, we had this guy in our friend group who CONSTANTLY spread rumors about other people, and I KEPT telling my best friend like “hey, yk, this dude will do the same to us if we don’t ditch ASAP” and eventually, we dropped him. That dude was SO toxic, it was unbearable. Thanks Liz for giving free advice and beating some brain into our heads😅 you’ve become my safe space.
The only regret I have is why I didn't find Liz sooner! Thank you so so so much Liz, you helped me finally realise how toxic my ex-bsf was last year. If only I found you sooner, I would have ended the toxic friendship right then and there. I was a victim of emotional abu3e by my ex-bsf. Now I'm finally taking the time to heal myself. As a teenager, this is very hard for me, but you make it easy Liz. Thank you! XO, Love you.
At this point I feel like I am on my own. I have no “real” friends but I am okay with that, I am happy and I’m focusing on my life and my future. Majority of people I hung out with would criticize other peoples appearance anyway and I know they criticized me too behind my back. I feel like I’m perfectly fine doing my own thing, even if it gets lonely sometimes.
I was the only child and never had a big sister growing up to teach me about the ways of the world and things to be wary about, therefore after facing such issues distanced myself having serious trust issues but learning from more experienced people, idk how but you became the big sister for many young girls like us going through rough patches of life and indeed your advice is very much needed ! Thank you so much for sharing with us!!
I saw this video around 1 year ago and I really realized a lot of things. And right now I'm so happy that I cut off all the negative people from my life, I feel more motivated and confident. Thank you, Miss.Liz
PLEASE do not underestimate the level of respect you're giving yourself! People will walk over you back and forth and they'll try it again and again once they know they can use your kindness. I used to be so kind and helpful to my friends, so much that I would not respect my own boundaries and would literally replace meetings and stuff to meet up with them. And once you go there and they notice they can get this from you, it'll happen again and again until you see your own worth and realise you have been stuck in this toxic cycle. The real friendships will stay in your life and no matter what happens, they understand you and uplift you and will be there for you, that's how you can recognize them. And you can ALWAYS make new friends, although it is not easy, it is possible! I have met some amazing new people that give me the respect that I deserve and vice versa. Once you can change the people around you and cut out the toxic people, do it, it'll make you so much happier not dealing with everyone else's shit! - thank you Liz for this perfectly timed video! You have literally changed so much of my attitude towards others these past few months and have made me aware of how little respect I used to have for myself. Not anymore! I am taking the space I deserve now and will own it!
I STARTED TO LIMIT MY CONTACT WITH MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND WHEN I REALIZED WHY I FELT SO DRAINED EVERYTIME SHE TALKS TO ME. AS MUCH AS I WANT TO HELP HER AND BE A FRIEND, IT GETS TOO MUCH THAT I COULDN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE. I STARTED BECOMING SELFISH AND PUTTING MYSELF FIRST.
I wish I had these videos when I was in high school because I had a friend who was just what Liz mentioned and she came back this year to try to find out more about me because I don't have social media anymore and I'm glad I had the courage to stand up for what that I am worth and defend myself through disrespect. Thank you so much Liz you truly are an angel on earth for those who are in need of advices about life and situations ❤️❤️🥹
I absolutely agree with whatever you said and i m so highly inspired by the things you talked ❤lots of love, liz.... We can't thank you enough for elevating our standards every single time, uplifting us when we fe like giving up... And most importantly, make us feel positive.... I have been following you from a long time now, and i can definitely see a better version of myself just because of your highly inspiring words... Thanks again, love🫶
I've noticed this in my life as well , sometimes we think that someone is there to support us , but actually , that person is not here to help us at all , and the Truth is if we're honest with ourselves , we don't really want to be there, and neither do they, it has become an attachment. A dysfunctional relationship . The key I've found is to cut the cord, and move on, otherwise you will feel tied down, drained, and completely out of alignment with your intentions and natural state of abundance . Great video Liz ! Thanks for being one of the people that inspires me to help others as well . Much Love 🙏
To clarify: “hang around people you want to be like” yes, who can inspire you. Uplift you, give you ideas how you can improve your life and mental health aka how me and my friends are with each other. Not try to look like them, date their boyfriends or exes… I feel like my words often get taken out of context and the more I grow the more people are waiting for me to mess up… i have no Ill intentions in any of my videos/ advices some might not resonate but that’s up to you to ignore that’s it. Anyways have a blessed evening. I love you all and appreciate you all so much 🙏🏻♥️♥️♥️♥️
♥️♥️♥️
WE LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
The fact that someone would interpret it it like that reveals more of their character more than yours
❤️❤️hello Liz
Love you Liz!!!!
I love how Liz calls us Honey and Baby while yelling sense into us 😂
I love it🥹😂
😂
oh honey thats not yelling thats talking positively
Yeah that’s so trueee 😂
😂👍
Watching Liz is like I'm having a conversation with my sassy therapist, which is funny and serious at the same time.
NO FR
She should do affirmations for divine feminine energy. I want to listen to her voice before i go to sleep.
She's the type get straight to the point with no bullshit lies.
🤣🤣🤣#Sassy Therapist
for realllll
We are friends with those that make us feel drained out of GUILT
FR
real
:(
I was the one dragging everyone down with my depression . It's disturbing to realise how toxic I was. I'm so glad I found Liz. Now I can be a better version on myself for everyone and myself
i wish you the best in your mental health journey❤❤
@@dontask7296 Tysm ❤
Thats brave of you to accept that! Ihope you have a better mental health
Same !
Same especially about the gossiping one ! I never meant it 😭😭 I'm sorry to everyone
“You’re a free therapist” - Liz being a free therapist to us ❤
@Milana Kim she meant liz making videos without us having to pay for it
@@user-dg2is4sc8l yeah
v
b 😊 iv
@Milana Kim what commenter meant is some would give a 20 minute video of bs to advertise for overpriced lessons or books or wutv meanwhile liz just posts her things on yt for free for us !
Liz is the best 💟
just when i'm starting to notice how toxic my friends are, liz drops a video on toxic friends. the universe really does work in our favour.
SAMEE
That’s not how universal works
Same here!
REALL SHII
IKR
not only have i had an awakening from her, i also realized im sometimes the toxic friend. and im trying to fix that, love this woman!
i feel like something is wrong with me because i keep attracting toxic people. My mom said its because I'm a people pleaser, people treat me like that because i allow myself to be treated like that.
This not only helped me to identify my toxic friends but also to identify toxic behaviours that I may have with my friends, so thank you for this
same. i didnt realize i can be a pretty draining person around my friends sometimes i feel so bad now
me too
This is real as hell… props
Totally in d same paste... I'd try judging myself more
@@melanymancinicorleone4725 it's okay everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect the fact you recognize ur toxic behaviors and are trying to improve that's good enough
Liz is making everyone's life better
Exactly
*life
so true
Agree
REAL
i’m finding it very difficult right now to let go of a friendship, in which i have come to realize i will never feel and be treated as i deserve, no matter how much i give. thank you for these words Liz, i never wanted to give up on anyone, but i can see that this person was never a true friend to me in the first place. i’m sending love and strength to anyone in the same situation right now 💛
I’m with you, it’s so hard finding out the “friend” is unavailable in all aspects. But best to just cut ties and move on.
right now im in the same situation and i dont really know what to do since a lot of people are telling me that we should stay friends,should i listen to them? i dont really know lol
@@Carlotta_madia no
"When it's you honey,
It's not funny"
-MOTHER LIZ
(This cracked me up frrr pfft-)
this woman is literally out here giving us THE BEST advice for free. i really need someone to talk like you do, to me. thank you so much for doing this liz !
Yes
Yess
Yesss
Thank you, Liz❤
This !!!!
Is it just me that I can sometimes hear Liz shouting at me when I think of doing something stupid 😂
Same here😂 I keep getting called out
I hear the 'oh no honey'
quite late but..
I do too! and it helps so much because now i actually reflect on my problems and seek ways to evolve from my mistakes, wayyy better than what i was before
Love ya Liz
thats so funny
Truee 😂
Recently I have been backstabbed by a friend, this video somehow made me feel better. Thankyou Liz. You're truly like an elder sister guiding young people. ❤
Can relate, hope you're feeling better already
Last month I ended two long lasting friendships because I felt like they were jealous of me, of my havings, of my surrounding, of my family… and they didnt even hide it because their behaviours were so clear to me. I HAD TO END IT. Because I was feeling miserable all the time, i felt like they didnt want me around because they were jealous and envious of me. After 15 years of friendship, I called it quits. Yes now i feel very lonely and dont hang out so much but i prefer it this way rather than feeling unhappy because of them. I am so relieved I realised it. Thank You liz for evrrything you do to us you are special
✨ Timestamps ✨
1:14 - They are not honest with you
3:02 - They come to you for advice but they are not there when you need them
3:46 - They don't see you as a friend, they see you as competition
5:10 - They create and spread rumors about others
6:50 - Do not share personal details and secrets with them
7:10 - They bring your mood down
7:42 - They downplay your achievements
8:01 - Keep the contact as limited as possible
8:22 - They have no respect for your boundaries
9:22 - They never suggest to pay for anything or try to use you for what you have
10:50 - People feel comfortable talking negatively about you to them
11:56 - They are ashamed of you
13:06 - Don't take it personal
13:35 - Find friends that you want to be like
THANK YOU
You 're a gem ❤️
6:50 favourite!!
Thank you ❤
You’re the best👏👏
i was friends with a girl that sometimes it was so draining to be around her, and i knew i should've already ended up a long time ago this thing that wasnt even a friendship. When i did, i think it was the best time of my life, when i tell you my life got 1000x better and that i never had any more problems like before, im being DEAD SERIOUS
The amount of friends you have is inversely proportionate to how intelligent you are.😂
This video helped me notice toxic behaviors not just from others but from myself too thank you Liz for helping me realise and become a better person myself
Same
no same
Yeah Same to me I even realized my toxic behavior I try to be better
Same pinch
Same
7:56 - "Humble yourself for who? For you? Who are you?" those words knocked the wind out of me
shes like the mother we all needed
When I tell you this girl is speaking nothing but FACTS! I’ve recently been experiencing this for the first time at 31 years old and it is truly disheartening. Especially when you think you’re really cool with someone then you start to pick up on certain behaviors. Bottom line you really cannot be friends with someone who is either envious of you or very insecure within themselves. They’re going to feel some type of way about every little thing you say or do to the point where you start shrinking yourself and holding back to preserve their feelings. GO WHERE YOU ARE CELEBRATED. 🎉❤
Tips:
1. They are not honest with you 1:15
2.They come to you for advice but they are not there when you need them 3:03
3.They don't see you as a friend, they see you as a competition. 3:47
4. They create and spread rumours about others. 5:10
5. They bring your mood down 7:11
6.They downplay your achievements 7:43
7. They have no respect for your boundaries 8:22
8. They never suggest to pay for anything or try to use you for what you have 9:22
9.People feel comfortable talking negatively about you to them. 10:50
10. They are ashamed of you 11:56
You're an angel
Thank you
Ty and also do yk any other TH-cam channels like hers cuz she rlly helps a lot
Thanks buddy..
The 9th point a guy did this to me twice do you think he could be making stuff up to bring my confidence down? and keep me under his control?
Liz literally pulls me in. She knows how to carry herself and articulate herself. I’m going to work on my communication!
I feel so much joy seeing people that want to improve themselves! You've got this
You got it girl ❤
Rumours are really scary. From my experience seriously those deserve nothing more than our blocklist.
this made me open my eyes that all of my friends are toxic and called me out for some of my toxic behaviors..
I had a friend who copied EVERYTHING I did. Then she tried to invite me on a date under a bridge with strange men. I cut her off right then. She tried to put me in a dangerous situation, and kept asking when I said no. Jealous friends are dangerous.
Good for you.
"No" is a complete sentence.
What the actual fuck. Can you elaborate on a date under a bridge with strange men
@@pedobearina she said she wanted me to go under a bridge at night with her and two guys we didn't know. She said they wanted to show us a "secret rockwall".
@@bluecollarlit very true. Thank you!
@@Jessica-kf1ck yeah she had other plans.. glad you’re safe
I am autistic and I didn’t even realize that I was a negative friend until I was called out by a few people in my friend group (mainly because I don’t understand social cues and how it negatively affected those I loved). I’m doing a self reflection on what I can to do better right now, so I don’t end up hurting my friends again. Thanks Liz!
I had a similar situation except my friend was the one with autism. Unfortunately he doesn’t think he’s the problem and refused to change to become a better person so it’s rlly sweet that u know and want to improve.
@@jadesmoben9270 I’m sorry that you went through that. Are you guys no longer friends because of his actions?
Babe it's okay, honestly the fact that you're acknowledging your errors is a step in the right direction, and it's a step A LOT of people don't even think to take, proud of you and I wish you the best on your reflection journey :)))
@@venabeana thank you so much and I wish the same for you!
As someone with Asperger's I can really relate to you
I was going through a panic attack and feeling miserable because my friend who is going through something triggered me by bringing up my past traumas to compare it. I came here. Thank you.
how do you recommend talking to a friend who will speak negatively about others unnecessarily?
Another thing, if you have friends who you have known for a long time, don’t stay friends with them for who you use to know. If they have changed and they do not aline with you anymore. Let it go. Liz I adore you, thank you for being here and sharing with us. ❤️
💯💯💯💯 u r very right. knew someone for over 10 years and they changed just like that. i suffered so much bc of them
THISSS^^^
I needed to hear this!❤
thiss is so true i had a great friend since last 10 years and she changed made new friends literally we studied in school as well as college together but i suffered but now i am over it you are absolutely correct
And don't stay friends with them just for the sake of that you've been their friend for a long time/you don't want to loose a "long time" friend because in the end they will leave you and you'll be left with NOTHING and emotionally drained! It's not too late to leave them and end this abusive cycle, there are people that have been friends with someone for 30 years and have left that person because they know they aren't good for them!
All of these points are so accurate. Thank you for the confirmation that loneliness is a lot better than a load of draining and competitive energy. I’m so open to healthy friendships now but it’s hard to open up again after years of mind games.
8:40 oh my god girllll I’m getting triggered 😂😂
how did u get new freinds
@@jwgaia nice speech but i didn't inderstand the amount
@@jwgaia I hate how people play mind games loke why can't people be straight up I just wanna have a friendship where I have no guard
literally gatekeeping liz from everyone i know XD
Wow the Copying thing is SO real. It sounds so vain when I try to explain that women do this but I've experienced this is very creepy ways from SEVERAL women. Going to the shops and buying the same strange things I buy. Not basics like black tee and jeans. I'm talking VERY specific identity style. On top of that I've had women copy my laugh, use my name when ordering food for take out, sleeping with men I find funny, pretending to know my other friends but when introduced they have no idea who they are. How can one become friends with strange behaviour like that. Little things are cute but when you steal my name/identity, it becomes serious.
Her BRAIN IS AMAZING. Even tho she has learnt all this with over experiences she's had with time. This is amazing! She literally KNOCKS sense into us!. Liz is the elder sister, bff, mentor we needed!
She is the definition of HEALTH. I’m blessed and honored that you exist, Liz. You changed all of us and I am happy that people are getting healthier by watching you. The world is going to be better. Thank you! ❤
I'm not sure. Sometimes she's pretty narcicisst.
@@Patrycja-qe5fj You don’t have to take it that way actually. Being a narcissist VS being confident and knowing your worth are two different things. It’s also true that between this two it’s a very thin line, but I don’t see Liz as a narcissist. She is just giving advise for those who deserve more but don’t know how to put themselves into a healthy position and that’s why these people arrive in abusive relationships of all nature. Take care! ❤️
wake up girl, she's a narcissist psycho
@@teodoraruse6231 she's not confident, she is a toxic narcicisst. You don't have idea what are You talking about.
liz literally made my mood better. so i'm having a hard time right now since my so called friends is like starting to destroy my reputation by talking bad about me behind my back, but liz lecturing me, describing that i should avoid those kind of people things and then i realized that liz is literally describing all their traits and now i realized that they don't actually deserve my kindness since all they did was to pull me down and make me lose myself even more but now i'm done.
Omgg, I was feeling so anxious because a “friend” said something to insult me in a subtle way and bring me down. She always does this probably because I’m always in a positive happy state when we talk and she’s negative and unhealthy on the inside. I felt instantly better from watching this video the anxiety faded away thank you for yelling at us 🙈 we need to hear all of this exactly the way you said it 🙌🏼👏🏼👊🏼
i recently blocked one of my closest friends 2 weeks ago and i have NEVER been happier i swearr. they were so negative and she was always trying to be friends with my other friends to seem more likeable like me. after i stopped being friends with her, i unadded everyone that was in the same group that i was hanging with off all my socials and ive started to hang around friends that are what i wanna be like. they’re outgoing, SOO positive, so uplifting, kind, funny, gorgeous. and its recently making me feel so much better energetically. THANK YOU LIZ 💞
you go girl slayyy!!!
I’m might gonna do that
Me to
I blocked mine about 3 days ago. Feel bad but this girl is always in crisis, always complaining, blaming, being a victim, not taking care of her kids, deluded, living in fantasy, and draining me during a time of hardship in MY life. Even homeless I am positive, hard working, a good mom, exercise, and stay optimistic/persistent to succeed. Couldn’t take it anymore 🫤
I fr wish I had the ballz to do this . But il too attached ig ?
i used to be a people-pleaser, and these types are literally my ex-friends in the past.
these people are literally bitter when you are happy or you achieved things. they literally are toxic. The Snakes indeed.
i left those friends and circle and i never feel so grateful.
i learn to forgive myself too because im the one allowing them to hurt me and use me all this time.
I feel like I can't "afford" to cut out this one friend I have who is kinda like this. Especially when we were younger I feel like she would always try to "sabotage" me behind my back and downplay my successes in a way that made me feel the need to also downplay anything good that I had going for me. The problem is, and the reason that I say I can't "afford" to cut her out, is that she's been my "closest" friend for 11 years, and we're also going to be living together with another friend next year... She's gotten a lot better and mature now, but I lowkey feel like I have sm trauma from when we were younger. She'd always say to me that I was her best friend, but still would have a separate group of friends that she didn't want me interacting with, and tell me that they didn't want me there. I think that's a big part of the reason why I'm so insecure today, bc she made me feel like people didn't really want me around. In a way I let her control me, which I feel sorry to my younger self for. But now she's me oldest friend and I don't really have a lot of friends, so I feel like it's dramatic and unrealistic to cut her off completely, but I also don't know how to heal this trauma while living with her. Sorry for dumping all of this on you, you don't have to reply !
@@liii3622 hii thats really relatable to the old me! trust me i was that kinda person who downplay my achievement or dim my light just to make them comfortable.
if thats not the first red flag i dont know what. cus true friends should not be bitter about each other happiness
for me i realize these people will eventually prevent me from reaching my higher self.
the second thing, if she literally sabotage you behind your back thats another red flag too. im afraid she could be the type who spread fake rumors about us (it really happened to me one of these girls sabotage the guy who was interested to me back then).
and then to the point she makes you feel insecure abt yourself. thats the biggest red flag imo.
i know cutting toxic people is really hard.
its actually part of my awakening process.
i saw the truth their pattern, cut toxic people and then still heal myself from the trauma and my insecurities (people-pleaser person has the biggest insecurity all time).
i know its hard especially if its friend for long period time,
please try to set up your boundaries straight in the future,
- dont downplay your success and dont dim your light around them (see their reaction)
- confront them when you found out they sabotage you (see their reaction)
but beware of gaslighting and playing-victim attitude.
i believe the universe made us see the pattern of this toxic people for a reason.
more than anything i believe that great connection isnt based on how long we know each other. its not about the quantity of time but the quality.
i hope you see the light from here💗
Thank you for the upload on this topic ! I get treated like shit from my friends and family unfortunately . They make me feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells around them , plus I feel as if I don't exist . They keep competing against me as well .
SEEING THAT LIZ POSTED ALWAYS MAKES ME SO HAPPY
same here
SAME
444 likes 👍
She gives the advice the same way the oldest sibling does. I really love it
Fr
I'm the oldest sibling and sound like that haha
Liz is the reason why I have true friends rn
I have this one friend that is there for me when things are bad, yes I can talk to her.
But whenever I start to feel happy, fulfilled, or something good happens to me, I have a good life - she is gone. It's like she can't stand seeing me happy. Like it bothers her that I am happily married, that I have passions etc.
Not only do you, Liz, help me to have good friends but also how to be a good friend myself. Thank you!
Hey can i pls get some advice, i have this “friend” who i used to be friends with but i sensed she was fake, she would look at me weird when im not looking, befriend my friends, do the same things i would, her compliments never sounded genuine, & around guys she acted diff, she’d bodyshame ppl etc. so i told her “were not friends” and was straightforward, she acts fake nice and ppl think shes sweet so she started telling our mutual friends in public that i wasnt friends w her, and just try to get me humiliated. Multiple times. Like make it known to everyone. & she befriended all my friends & acts like a pick me around the guy she thinks i like and whenever i speak to him, she butts in the convo, says something flirty or friendly to him then looks to see my reaction, shes always near me, always listening to my every convo, whenever i say something slightly wrong she jumps in to correct me, on exams/tests she jumps to ask me what i got/what i did & says snarky comments from now and there. Shes been saying shady/backhanded comments for so long and ive just been ignoring her. Atp shes fr talking to herself 💀 when i talk w ppl she tries to get into the convo, i dont talk nor do i even look at her but i can constantly feel her looking, listening and doing everything in her power to know what im doing. Do i just keep doing me? When i do stuff better than her she went “i know, she always does 1 point better than me” in a condescending tone. Am i not right to think shes fake? She tries to maintain a good appearance & puts me down but then shell act nice sometimes then go back to backhanded comments. Ive just been ignoring her
She's totally fake please throw her away. Your comment made me so mad because it blows always my mind whenever I see how fake and bad humans can be, it's so disgusting! And as I can deduce from her actions you explained here, she is definitly jealous of you! People who think that the life of someone else is better, are trying to be like the person to achieve the life the person has because they themselves are unhappy with their own life. You should feel proud because she actually admires you and puts this with negativity and hate because of her jealousy! Talk with her and tell her that her actions r not okay and that she should stopp otherwise you talk with the teacher or do not remain silent and see how she puts you down instead stand up for yourself and defend yourself! You can do what she does to you what is probably not the best or you can just point her away. Next time she interrupts your conversations tell her to go away ( You can say: Sorry but I have to talk with him/her alone) if you want to be gentle what you actually don't have to be but I know it's somtimes hard to sound rude (even tho it's not really rude). If she says that you always have one more point in test than her then say yes I have. Feel proud of it, she should feel bad that she has one point less, what she actually does because otherwise she wouldn't point that out. Overall, she is jealous and that's a fact! I don't know if I could help you but yeah...I hope you are brave enough to show that you are valuable and that not anyone can do with you whatever they want to, wish you a good day, byeee
@@n.p2809 thank you so much, ever since i made that comment shes done so much more & i just reread my comment & realised that despite all i listed, i left out SO much more that she did. Problem is shes in my class & everyone around me has befriended her bc as i said; shes fake nice & people fall for it. Thats why i didnt like her from the beginning cus i saw through her act. Thank u so much though. At this point I’ve been overall just focusing less on her & trying not to let her get to me but its a bit hard. I have stood up for myself a couple times and she seemed intimidated when i called her out in front of people. But nothing’s changed except she doesn’t do stuff as bad as she used to. Shes still salty & has done so much more to the point it would take me too long to list. But yeah, I can’t just call her out cus the stuff she does/says are subtle. Like the kinda stuff that i can’t call her out on cus they’re sneaky. & I can’t tell my friends why I don’t like her bc she befriended them & i would not be surprised if they like her more than me. That’s why I’m waiting for her to do something obvious so i can call her out & people would believe me. The comment that u replied to, i wrote it while i was legit in tears & crying cus I didn’t know what to do. She has stuff going on at home which i feel sorry for her and i can see why it pushes her to act this way but it’s still nowhere near an excuse. So yeah, I can’t tell my teachers or friends but i could subtly try to get advice from them. Thank u so much for ur kind words 😊 i hope u have an amazing day! Ur very kind! I’ll keep trying to be the bigger person !
@@HoneydewHelen please do not waste your time with worthless people like that and do not care about what they do or try to do. focus on yourself and yourself only. that is all i can say
YESS ME TOO
This video came out exactly a week after I stopped talking to half of my « friends » for the same reasons you listed in that video, all of it. They tried to make me feel guilty about it saying that I was the bad person, but since discovering you and you’re channel I know my worth and I’ve been stronger than ever. I don’t doubt myself anymore, I take care of myself, I LOVE myself, I’m confident and brave and independent and it’s thanks to you (and me too of course because in the end I was the one willing to make a change). Thank you so much. You literally saved my life (more than you can think of really). Thank you for showing people their best version of themselves. ❤️
Same
i love how u said thanks to urself as well
Happened to me as well now I have got 0 friends...this whole time i thought myself as the culprit but now i am tired of trying to be a good friend..
So empowering!
@@savemyeyebrows6613 they don't deserve you
I have been with some friends for a long time and I feel embarrassed to be around them because they don't want to change or improve so they stay as "losers". I don't want to be that so I'm not reaching out to them anymore, trying to break the friendship as it felt quite pointless. It was probably only known as a friendship because of school. One of them even dated the other's ex ( a big no-no).
This video has given me more confidence to find new friends. Thank you, Liz.
"when its you honey that's not funny" favorite quote
stop i love her sm
She's so comforting, I would scream of happiness if she announced a podcast
I've 4 friends like that. A friend who wants to be me. A friend who tries to humble me down. A friend who doesn't respect my boundaries. A friend who always trauma dumps but never listens.
I've woken up liz! F these people
Just ended a toxic friendship she was beyond draining. Complained and never wanted help. Went the long way about things absolutely done with her
this video came at the perfect time for me. just dropped a “friend” that saw me as competition getting close to me to be like me. trying to look like me, using me in social situations, always bringing up my ex, & so many hidden bad intentions. she’s playing the victim now that I cut her off but I’m just relieved & so happy that I did. no more being drained
I was feeling guilty about not wanting to be around my friends anymore but i always felt so drained after i talked to them. I just realized that maybe i need to move on while i was reading their group chat and EXACTLY at that moment, this video came up and i learned alot from you. There is just something miraculous about you. Thank you so much for inspiring me to start my healing journey, and to start working on achieving my goals, thank you for this reality check in the form of your videos that took me out of self pity. I respect you so much
I felt the same way because I am going through the same situation. I got out of it and it really opened my eyes to see how much they switch up and become evil and spread lies. Believe me you’re better off leaving. I feel so much better now and you deserve to feel that way too
@@xxrainbowdash1432xx thank you
This is exactly how I feel too
Update ?
I just to say, thank you so much for making this video. Especially, mentioning the part about how toxic people will make you feel worthless. Not to say too much about myself, but so many people tried to dehumanize in my life, it's ridiculous. I'm not perfect, no one is, but I really didn't deserve to be treated the way I was. I'm glad that you're here showing the light to people so that maybe, at least, they can heal from their traumatic encounters with toxic people.
This video was a great one too, thank you! You're strong and genuine, and that's how all friends should be, true, honest, clear
I recently stopped talking to one of these types of friends. I remember I once confided in her about my grandma's cancer diagnosis, she listened for maybe 30 seconds pretending to be interested with one word responses, then steered the conversation back to about her dog having the poops. We talked about that for maybe 30 minutes. I genuinely did feel bad for her poor dog (who was better the next day), but the whole time I was shaking, feeling so upset about my grandma internally. She's the type of friend who always has to have the attention, even in moments like that. She's the sickest, or she's the most stressed or shes the most tired etc. So glad I phased her out. Just had to get this off my chest!!
Girl i have a similar friend. “BEST FRIEND”It’s the WORST. I literally moved away to a whole different country and NOT ONCE did she ask how I’m doing or how it is there. The only things she talks about is how her laundry detergent gives her Rashes or how she keeps burning her toast in the morning. She knows I’m happy and doing great things, but she is so bitter about it. It’s been months and I’m still waiting for her to ask me how my new life is🤣
@@Happinessiskey1234 that's crazy! These people are everywhere lol. Hope you're happy with your move
@@Happinessiskey1234 don’t bother waiting sounds like she has one unhappy life girlie 😭
@@riri_bbk You are absolutely right love. I’m not holding my breath. Its just so irritating to me. She was crying her eyes out before I moved, and now she doesn’t even seem to care how I’m doing. I am an active poster on social media and she sees I’m doing great things. Of course im not posting for anyones approval, I’m doing it for myself. BUT it’s like she never asked one single question about my move. Ugh. Lol sorry had to relieve some steam
@@Happinessiskey1234 Sis thats a bitter fake and jealous friend! Believe me, she sees and even sneaky watch every post of yours but these kinda friends dont like that their friend doing better than themself. Please stay away from this friend. Or wait a bit for her message if she will send one, if not, give a distance to this friendship.
watching this has made me realize that I have a few toxic behaviors myself and it wasn't only until I lost a friend to make me know it & I was changing but I wasn't being true to myself. This is also making me appreciate the current friends I have so I need to appreciate them more. Thank you liz for being real & inspirational ❤
It’s nice to see how ppl now watching content that helps them to grow, I am happy that we create content what helps ppl to improve their lives, I am happy to help people
honestly, girl, I so needed this wake up call. Though the thing is, if I cut my "friend" off, I'd be alone so whoo-hoo to me I guess.
A lot of the toxic people in my life who ended up showing their true colors always said similar things in the beginning when they were so charming and sweet and it was always “ one day I want what you have” and to anyone that’s flattering to hear and you encourage them to do so (thinking they meant one day a life of their OWN) but what they really meant was they want what YOU have without wanting to put any of the work in. They want to take and take and take.
I dropped my friend who keeps saying mean things about me and my looks. I felt so good after but then I felt like I was a bad person after dropping her and was telling myself “maybe she was just joking around” but while watching this video I noticed that she was honestly not worth my time and thoughts. She was never good for me and never will. Liz is a queen
How did you do it? im afraid of dropping my toxic friends cause if i leave them i will be alone in class and whole school... Really idk how to do sorry for disturbing you😕
@@hers0uls
Hi ,same here
I litteraly dropped all of my old friends and sat somewhere else because energy was too draining
And i think you should stay with them for a temporary and also make new contacts with other people
@@hers0uls you should rather be alone, than to be with people who make you feel worse than you are. also , you can always always find better friends
@@anujingooa694 I think no one else in class to contact but tysm for the advice I will try!!💌 I will try to be as distant as possible because they really make me feel worthless and it feels awful, It's even worse that I don't have any other friends...
@@btluvz2920 yes, they really make me feel worthless and insignificant.. Even though I pretend not to be sad, everything they say is running in my head and I get depressed. Ik that the only way to get rid of them is to cut off communication with them, but it's really hard for me, we sit in the same row and we are in the same class. Actually I'm afraid of being alone. I will try that you said and tysm for the advice!!😭💕💕
When I got deeper into spirituality, friends who like gossiping about other people's miseries, friends who are draining my energy, friends who act up when I'm having a good moment in my life, friends who are lowkey envious, etc. I completely cut them off. I was told by my mom that I was being too b*tchy about these friends but in fact, detaching from these people made me more happier. Because they were blocking my blessings and sending me evil eye. Just because these people are alright to be with in some cases, doesn't mean they're the right people to be with. Bless you all and love you Liz❤
YES!! EXACTLY!! Thank God someone finally said this Im glad i kicked all the disgusting assholes out of my life and moved on. I'm so much happier now💖💖💖
😢Thank you Liz for helping me to fix my friendship problems. This is the best lesson that I've ever learnt. ❤Love you.
Hey , I just realized ny friends do 8 of those things and I never ever realized it...
Im crying rn I just can't believe it I thought they were good friends but no.
The most relatable part was bring my mood down, like they would cone hit me like they have the right to do it and be like "oh its just my love language" or be like"your face just makes me want to hit you".......
I don't know what to do
A couple of months ago I ended a ten year friendship with two girls. The reason was that they were portraying ALL these behaviours that Liz is talking about. Watching this video stung a little because it made me realize again how long I had accepted their behaviour and thought I needed them. I wish I had Liz' videos 10 years ago, I would have never put up with people's bs like I had. Ending these friendships was the most freeing decision ever and to this day I love my life without them. No relationship/friendship can be to long to be ended at one point. I wish everyone watching this video the strength to cut out the toxic people of which this video reminded them.
I’m proud of you! I used to have friends like that as well but the truth is what matters is how we feel as individuals regardless of how long we spent trying to be with others. You’re doing the right thing keep going 💕
I am currently also friend with these two girls...we are friends for like 12 years..but now as we are growing up..i kinda feel like they are taking me as granted...i dont know....i feel like okay i might be wrong..maybe its time to feel what my soul is trying to tell me...
It's only when you end it that you start seeing how long they have been mistreating you, at least that was the case for me. The hardest part is that it hurts and that I still felt like I owed them? And that's what can get stuck in your head and make you go back to them. :/
@@Madeliefschram ikr...this is the feeling...i feel like maybe im wrong....then again i feel like there's a wall between us...like as we are growing up now i feel like the bond is not as strong as we thought it is..and you know we rarely talk with each other now..its like we are tired and dont wanna give anymore effort in our friendship..i do understand cz everyone's getting busy with there personal stuffs so...
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiuidyiiii
My mother once said that "whether its anything literally ANYTHING, if you can't do you it for yourself first you don't do it for anyone else"
I had a friend like this for almost a year, and only 2 months ago I realized what a horrible friend she was, she would constantly vent to me when I was busy with my own depression, and I don't mind my friends venting to me, I really don't. But she knew I struggled with my own problems yet she constantly put her stress onto me. She kept being a horrible human being, she would steal, drink, go to parties, complain all the time, and I had told her multiple times that I am not her mother or her therapist and she kept going. Finally with the help of my other friends who Is amazing, I finally left her, she tried to keep me with her but I knew it was for the best. Thanks to Liz I know not to attach myself to anyone or anything anymore, so when I left her, I didn't even care to be honest, yes it may have been a bit sad, but I was fine, and I still am. Tysm for everything Liz, you have helped me in ways you could never imagine, you saved me when I needed it, I'm still working on my life and confidence, as well as my appearance, and with the help of you it has been going so well, tysm
" if somebody doesn't respect you, they don't respect it. That's it. You can see it in their actions" I needed this so bad... and the angry tone was the best!!!
For those who need to hear it, many people who are kind hearted tend to find purpose in helping others, which is awesome, but please direct it appropriately, such as volunteering. You do not need to take on or keep charity friends or relationships because you see potential. You need to be growing yourself, not trying to fix people who didn’t ask for it. So much unnecessary stress on that path. So in case you’re just now noticing a pattern of people using you or exhausting your energies, consider this a first way to address it.
This vid made me cry. It was crazy how many things she was soo on point about. She’s really uplifting ❤
You are speaking absolute FACTS and I love you! Do NOT keep people in your life who use you!!! You are worth so much more than that!
I reached out to my friend to let her know I made an attempt to unalive myself and she didn’t bother checking on me (not even a hey) for like a week or two, never checked how I was doing mentally or if I needed anything. The kicker was that we live together. Broke my heart tbh
I hope you’ll be ok! You’ve got this :)
That isn't your friend, they are just someone you live with. NO friend would leave their friend on their own during such a serious time. I'm sorry you didn't have their support, I'll be your friend, you need to vent or anything hmu
I hope you find true friends
what the hell i hope you’re okay. pls don’t try that again. if u want someone to talk to i can give you my ig.
All the points that you've mentioned literally resonates why I cut 70% of my friendships. Especially 10:50 - 11:56 perfectly explains how my ex-best friend was so toxic. I was tired of being called "defensive" from every person that disrespected me this year. They're more focused on justifying their shitty behaviors regardless. Thank you for this video, you're a gem! 🌹
Yeah I had a friend like this lol he told me that all these people were talking bad about me but were still friends with them
I took two pages full of notes from this video. thank you Liz. I'm starting my job next week and I'm going to a special school to study for this job. I want a new start and a GOOD start from the beginning on and I'm gonna do what is in my control to reach that.
taking notes of what she’s saying is such a good thing to do! Definet,y adding to my journal
This is was so common in my work setting, I had to leave because they were so toxic.
As a teenager I look up to Liz so much and I'm totally going to thank her for my success in my life ahead.
liz never misses!! also to add, if you’ve ever done anything that she listed but have been doing the work and watching her videos to be better, you are already on the path to being a great friend to those who are WORTHY and deserve your energy.
not related, but I rlly like your vil pfp! ^^
Awww this comment is so sweet and wholesome! Ty !!!
This video helped me realize that maybe I am that one toxic friend. I think it's time for me to change my attitude towards people
Yes❤
i can acknowledge that i’ve been a bad friend when it comes to sharing how i feel in that moment and i just ended three friendships because i didn’t feel like a good friend and i felt that they weren’t the best for me. life happens and when it comes to feeling drained all around with them and i kinda felt like they didn’t value me as a friend.
Stopped texting first to my best friend of 5 years only to realize how much i matter to her. She has not contacted me for over a month yet still views my stories. Whenever we talked this year she turned it around to be about her, never got a say in the convo....guys and girls, pick up your battles and your people carefully in this big messy world.
“But what about you?”
these words are so powerful i nearly started to cry. it’s rare when someone asks me that🥹
When this video came out I was still friends with my best friend. Throughout our friendship I had family members and other friends coming up to me saying they had a bad feeling about her. I ignored everyone and stayed friends with her for almost 10 years. After watching this video I came to the conclusion that she fits many of these categories. She made me cut ties with other friends, I became very negative and the most important thing: I could never be myself around her. A month after this video I sent her a message with all the things I’ve always wanted to say, but never had the courage to do so. At the end of the message I told her that I’m no longer interested in the friendship and ended it just like that. For anyone reading this and thinking about doing the same, think about how your specific friendship makes you feel. Does it drain you? Please end it, it’s never too late and hang around with people who love you for being you. Thank you Liz and God bless you all❤️
I truly feeel youu especially on the splitting & paying for dinner part I've been USED too many times w/o even realizing it smh
This is INSANE!! I just finished watching one of your videos like an hour ago. I’m going through this exact thing right now. I just cut off basically my best friend (who is also my cousin) because I finally started to put myself first and she was constantly being manipulative,possessive,and negative/draining. I’ve been crying on and off for the past few days because I feel so bad about it even though I SHOULDNT she went out of her way to call my mom in which my mom took her side saying “if it was anyone else I wouldn’t have cut them off” and I admit in the past I’ve had toxic relationships and I’ve learned and continue to learn every day. It sucks sometimes having such a huge heart because even though I know I’m right for cutting off people who don’t treat me right I can’t help but second guess myself and feel like shit. I’m sick and tired of trying to help others who DONT want to help themselves. And being there for people who DONT value me. Thank you so much Liz you’ve seriously been helping me grow as a person and I’m excited to finally reach my highest self.
So proud for you for doing this! I know exactly how you feel cuz Im a giver too but when Im going through a hard time no one’s there. And you end up drained and depleted. 😔
@@zara7276 thank you so much! I feel you 100% it’s kind of like a codependency thing. In the beginning you both are there for eachother and it’s genuine, but once you try to get your life together and realize that it’s not healthy for either of you, that person wants to make you feel bad for putting yourself first. I know I made the right decision and I shouldn’t be second guessing myself. It’s okay to feel scared of the unknown especially when you’ve really only had that one person you’d talk to constantly. I don’t know you personally but just know you will find your people! People are naturally drawn to people with positive energy and when you’re a genuine sweet person you will attract people who love and cherish you 💗 even if it takes time they WILL come. I hope your life is full of happiness and love :)
that's another point liz didn't mention
these snakes will call your mom and try to ruin your most precious relationship
my crazy toxic ex-wife did this three times already
@@denisblack9897 FR!? Like dude why bring my mom into this? This is between us? We are grown we should be able to handle situations like ADULTS. Which is also crazy because I’m younger than the girl. Then my mom will make me feel bad even though SHE was the one who told me the person was toxic and I didn’t need to be around them and to “love them from a distance”. Humans are so complex and confusing…
so proud of you for doing that!! right now I have the same situation with my best friend who is my cousin too I know she is really manipulative and I'm scared to cut her off, I know she will spread every single thing about me and make me look like the villain but I'm trying my best and hopefully, I will cut her off soon.
I’m telling you, we had this guy in our friend group who CONSTANTLY spread rumors about other people, and I KEPT telling my best friend like “hey, yk, this dude will do the same to us if we don’t ditch ASAP” and eventually, we dropped him. That dude was SO toxic, it was unbearable.
Thanks Liz for giving free advice and beating some brain into our heads😅 you’ve become my safe space.
Relatable
The only regret I have is why I didn't find Liz sooner! Thank you so so so much Liz, you helped me finally realise how toxic my ex-bsf was last year. If only I found you sooner, I would have ended the toxic friendship right then and there. I was a victim of emotional abu3e by my ex-bsf. Now I'm finally taking the time to heal myself. As a teenager, this is very hard for me, but you make it easy Liz. Thank you!
XO, Love you.
What a blessing to have found this video, this wise counsel comes really good. Thankyou so much for it!
At this point I feel like I am on my own. I have no “real” friends but I am okay with that, I am happy and I’m focusing on my life and my future. Majority of people I hung out with would criticize other peoples appearance anyway and I know they criticized me too behind my back. I feel like I’m perfectly fine doing my own thing, even if it gets lonely sometimes.
All support for you Continue on the path to success Don't wait behind I wish we could be friends
I was the only child and never had a big sister growing up to teach me about the ways of the world and things to be wary about, therefore after facing such issues distanced myself having serious trust issues but learning from more experienced people, idk how but you became the big sister for many young girls like us going through rough patches of life and indeed your advice is very much needed ! Thank you so much for sharing with us!!
Same
i can relate to that so much
Me too
Me too
same
I saw this video around 1 year ago and I really realized a lot of things. And right now I'm so happy that I cut off all the negative people from my life, I feel more motivated and confident. Thank you, Miss.Liz
Not me binge watching on Liz, to knock sense into me ruthlessly
PLEASE do not underestimate the level of respect you're giving yourself! People will walk over you back and forth and they'll try it again and again once they know they can use your kindness. I used to be so kind and helpful to my friends, so much that I would not respect my own boundaries and would literally replace meetings and stuff to meet up with them. And once you go there and they notice they can get this from you, it'll happen again and again until you see your own worth and realise you have been stuck in this toxic cycle. The real friendships will stay in your life and no matter what happens, they understand you and uplift you and will be there for you, that's how you can recognize them. And you can ALWAYS make new friends, although it is not easy, it is possible! I have met some amazing new people that give me the respect that I deserve and vice versa. Once you can change the people around you and cut out the toxic people, do it, it'll make you so much happier not dealing with everyone else's shit! - thank you Liz for this perfectly timed video! You have literally changed so much of my attitude towards others these past few months and have made me aware of how little respect I used to have for myself. Not anymore! I am taking the space I deserve now and will own it!
I STARTED TO LIMIT MY CONTACT WITH MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND WHEN I REALIZED WHY I FELT SO DRAINED EVERYTIME SHE TALKS TO ME. AS MUCH AS I WANT TO HELP HER AND BE A FRIEND, IT GETS TOO MUCH THAT I COULDN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE. I STARTED BECOMING SELFISH AND PUTTING MYSELF FIRST.
yes as u should! i have this one friend who i’m close with but she drains my energy and just brings bad vibes so i’m just trying to distance myself
"You dont even take yourself serious"- damn yes mother😭🙏🏾
I wish I had these videos when I was in high school because I had a friend who was just what Liz mentioned and she came back this year to try to find out more about me because I don't have social media anymore and I'm glad I had the courage to stand up for what that I am worth and defend myself through disrespect. Thank you so much Liz you truly are an angel on earth for those who are in need of advices about life and situations ❤️❤️🥹
I absolutely agree with whatever you said and i m so highly inspired by the things you talked ❤lots of love, liz.... We can't thank you enough for elevating our standards every single time, uplifting us when we fe like giving up... And most importantly, make us feel positive.... I have been following you from a long time now, and i can definitely see a better version of myself just because of your highly inspiring words... Thanks again, love🫶
I've noticed this in my life as well , sometimes we think that someone is there to support us , but actually , that person is not here to help us at all , and the Truth is if we're honest with ourselves , we don't really want to be there, and neither do they, it has become an attachment. A dysfunctional relationship . The key I've found is to cut the cord, and move on, otherwise you will feel tied down, drained, and completely out of alignment with your intentions and natural state of abundance . Great video Liz ! Thanks for being one of the people that inspires me to help others as well . Much Love 🙏