Thank you so much for sharing your story... I was so unsure on if i have selective mutism, i havent gotten it diagnosed. So i was researching more about it! I havent realised that this disorder was a rare one since ive had it my whole life. Im just glad im not alone in this... I appreciate the time you have put to make this video! You arnt alone ❤
How old were you when you start therapy? How long did you go to therapy before you notice of the change? My daughter who is 11 years old, she has SM around 4 years old. She hasn’t talk to her close relatives, like her cousins, aunts, and uncles, since she was younger. She said she feels weird if she starts talking to them now. Did you start talking to your relatives? When and how did you start? Also how did you overcome to be able to talk and play in group?
Yes, I went to therapy when I was 12 and it was until I was 15. Yes, therapy allowed me to set goals and develop ways to cope with SM. I really wanted to start speaking and that was the real game changer that helped me keep going. I didn’t start speaking instantly..i started making sounds when laughing or to express certain emotions at first. I changed therapists when my parents divorced at 17 for emotional wellness and to help my depression also social anxiety. It may feel weird to suddenly start and so I think she could work on that little by little to fully transition. It can be with whispering and then a word and later sentences. Allow her to work on it at her own pace and let her relatives know to be understanding and to not make insensitive comments. For relatives it was always the distant ones who lived afar that I didn’t speak to. My direct family like my mom’s brothers (my uncles) I spoke to since I knew them from before I had SM. Though in public places I would go silent. I don’t recall how old I was when I spoke to my distant relatives, but as I started working on my goals I became comfortable & it came more naturally. I feel like the environment I was in was semi- welcoming at school. I always made friends somehow ( I attended the same school for 5-6 yrs). It wasn’t until 8th grade when I slowly started to try making new friends like joining the new student and eating with them. For me it was always easier to talk to strangers because they wouldn’t have any expectations of me or know I had SM. I feel that kids will still interact with kids that have SM because they are curious. It helps to try calling new friends by phone or texting before. My mom invited my friends over since home to me was a safe space. After some hours I would then attempt speaking to them and gradually got closer to them. They got to know me, the real me. Sorry this was very long but I really wanted to answer your questions! :)
@@hailey.nichol thank you for you detailed answers. My daughter would play with her cousins and only laughs, smile and nodded. She said she feels weird if they hear her voice now after so many years. It’s so heartbreaking to see when we went on vacation with them and she didn’t talk for the whole trip, but had fun just by hanging around. She also had a best friend at the same school from 1-4th grade, but it seemed she stopped talking to her in the middle of 5th grade because the best friend was hanging out with another classmate and left her. I told her she could join them. But she felt comfortable one on one. Did you have problem hanging out with more than 1 friend at the same time? Could you please share what techniques to overcome and cope with SM that the therapist advised. Thanks
@@jennyd5728 I spoke with my therapist from the first meeting and not every Sm person will do that. She also had cards for emotions for other Sm kids so they could non verbally communicate how they felt. My therapist had items for children such as kinetic sand, papers, pencils, paint, etc. These activities were calming and kept me busy but allowed me to continue talking about life at school and life with Sm. My therapist would reassure me that she herself experienced times of anxiety when presenting or public speaking to a large crowd and tell me what helped her. At the end of the session we would list on a sheet of paper things (goals) that I would work on. There was not set time in which these should be completed rather it was at my own pace & timing. The list I have misplaced it but for example one was to drink water before to help my voice and also like read or talk aloud (before school) to warm up my voice. The other was to create a “happy place” a place that’s safe and relaxing in ones imagination. Mine was with my dogs in a beach. - drink water and warm up my voice - Think of my happy place - Taking deep breaths - Ask myself, “What’s the worst that can happen” (there’s nothing wrong w trying, and you don’t lose anything by doing so) - Have items to distract or fidget with (I would invest in cute stationery, slime, kinetic sand) There’s more, but I couldn’t find my paper.. hoping it helps To be honest I typically hung out with one friend, and I liked that. I think small groups of friends or even one is better than a large group. It’s best to have quality friends rather than a large quantity of fake friends. I usually met up with friends one on one when they came to my house. I think I was fortunate to find true friends. At some point I began to distance myself from my friends, but it was due to my anxiety getting worse. I worked on that.. eventually in high school since I knew I hung out with classmates who were nice enough to show me around. I spoke, but I was still a quiet person. Over the next few years, I enjoyed being alone and at times, but I also had a friend from my old school there, so I hung out with her and slowly became friends with her friends.
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Thank you so much for sharing your story... I was so unsure on if i have selective mutism, i havent gotten it diagnosed. So i was researching more about it! I havent realised that this disorder was a rare one since ive had it my whole life. Im just glad im not alone in this... I appreciate the time you have put to make this video! You arnt alone ❤
Yussirah Music Thanks for watching it! I’m glad to know it made some impact. I plan to make an update video about how I am doing in the future. :)
Great!!!
Feel free to comment any questions you may have!
How old were you when you start therapy? How long did you go to therapy before you notice of the change? My daughter who is 11 years old, she has SM around 4 years old. She hasn’t talk to her close relatives, like her cousins, aunts, and uncles, since she was younger. She said she feels weird if she starts talking to them now. Did you start talking to your relatives? When and how did you start? Also how did you overcome to be able to talk and play in group?
Yes, I went to therapy when I was 12 and it was until I was 15. Yes, therapy allowed me to set goals and develop ways to cope with SM. I really wanted to start speaking and that was the real game changer that helped me keep going. I didn’t start speaking instantly..i started making sounds when laughing or to express certain emotions at first.
I changed therapists when my parents divorced at 17 for emotional wellness and to help my depression also social anxiety.
It may feel weird to suddenly start and so I think she could work on that little by little to fully transition. It can be with whispering and then a word and later sentences. Allow her to work on it at her own pace and let her relatives know to be understanding and to not make insensitive comments.
For relatives it was always the distant ones who lived afar that I didn’t speak to. My direct family like my mom’s brothers (my uncles) I spoke to since I knew them from before I had SM. Though in public places I would go silent. I don’t recall how old I was when I spoke to my distant relatives, but as I started working on my goals I became comfortable & it came more naturally.
I feel like the environment I was in was semi- welcoming at school. I always made friends somehow ( I attended the same school for 5-6 yrs). It wasn’t until 8th grade when I slowly started to try making new friends like joining the new student and eating with them. For me it was always easier to talk to strangers because they wouldn’t have any expectations of me or know I had SM. I feel that kids will still interact with kids that have SM because they are curious. It helps to try calling new friends by phone or texting before. My mom invited my friends over since home to me was a safe space. After some hours I would then attempt speaking to them and gradually got closer to them. They got to know me, the real me.
Sorry this was very long but I really wanted to answer your questions! :)
@@hailey.nichol thank you for you detailed answers. My daughter would play with her cousins and only laughs, smile and nodded. She said she feels weird if they hear her voice now after so many years. It’s so heartbreaking to see when we went on vacation with them and she didn’t talk for the whole trip, but had fun just by hanging around.
She also had a best friend at the same school from 1-4th grade, but it seemed she stopped talking to her in the middle of 5th grade because the best friend was hanging out with another classmate and left her. I told her she could join them. But she felt comfortable one on one. Did you have problem hanging out with more than 1 friend at the same time? Could you please share what techniques to overcome and cope with SM that the therapist advised.
Thanks
@@jennyd5728 I spoke with my therapist from the first meeting and not every Sm person will do that. She also had cards for emotions for other Sm kids so they could non verbally communicate how they felt. My therapist had items for children such as kinetic sand, papers, pencils, paint, etc. These activities were calming and kept me busy but allowed me to continue talking about life at school and life with Sm. My therapist would reassure me that she herself experienced times of anxiety when presenting or public speaking to a large crowd and tell me what helped her.
At the end of the session we would list on a sheet of paper things (goals) that I would work on. There was not set time in which these should be completed rather it was at my own pace & timing. The list I have misplaced it but for example one was to drink water before to help my voice and also like read or talk aloud (before school) to warm up my voice. The other was to create a “happy place” a place that’s safe and relaxing in ones imagination. Mine was with my dogs in a beach.
- drink water and warm up my voice
- Think of my happy place
- Taking deep breaths
- Ask myself, “What’s the worst that can happen” (there’s nothing wrong w trying, and you don’t lose anything by doing so)
- Have items to distract or fidget with (I would invest in cute stationery, slime, kinetic sand)
There’s more, but I couldn’t find my paper.. hoping it helps
To be honest I typically hung out with one friend, and I liked that. I think small groups of friends or even one is better than a large group. It’s best to have quality friends rather than a large quantity of fake friends.
I usually met up with friends one on one when they came to my house. I think I was fortunate to find true friends.
At some point I began to distance myself from my friends, but it was due to my anxiety getting worse. I worked on that.. eventually in high school since I knew I hung out with classmates who were nice enough to show me around. I spoke, but I was still a quiet person. Over the next few years, I enjoyed being alone and at times, but I also had a friend from my old school there, so I hung out with her and slowly became friends with her friends.
@@hailey.nichol thank you