9 times out of 10, toxic people attract other toxic people. I have lived abroad for 15 years and I have received a lot of support and encouragement from my Nigerian friends. Apply wisdom in choosing the company you keep, and try to be a positive person yourself.
Africans can never be like Asians for this simple reason, they can marry their cousins, which means they are one family. They don't judge like "perfect know all" Africans.
@@fataiadegbenro984 We are not Asians, our culture is different. They have shortcomings in some areas like they can kill their children if they refuse to marry who they want them to marry. However, we are miles apart when it comes to helping and supporting one another. We are not as humble in that respect. I have seen where about 5 families(20 people) live in 2 houses including children.. The funny thing is you won't know who owns the house.
@@MABAGI The particular case is a neighbour about 4 houses next to mine. I have colleagues that said the house is not yours until it is given to you, maybe to start a family because they contributed It is voluntary. Some like us don't like that, they want to be on their own. Only a few though.
I totally agree, I live in the USA. I'm a Caribbean woman who went to Nigerian church and community gatherings, worst mistake ever. They will pry and pry to get into your personal business.
@Gigi-wi9sr. Why is it that whenever Nigerians are discussing a matter that concerns their people and their community, other communities always like to poke their nose and you want us to accept your opinion. As in, are you seriously kidding me? You think I have not heard Caribbeans complain about their fellow Caribbeans? Why did you have to attend a Nigerian church when their are more Caribbean churches in the US than Nigerian churches? Don't you think you are doing the exact same thing that these people are condemning? You can't discipline a child more than his or her parents you know? Please rest, we already know some of you Caribbeans don't like Nigerians and always looking for a way to tell us. SMH!
lol i am carribbean too, i went to african church back in the day scarce and only with my nigerian friend but they can get very intrusive if you are not careful.
Really, I must be the wrong nationality cos I have no time for this and I know a few Nigerians who are like me too. I hope this is not just envy because Nigerians tend to be very hard working and successful.
People will be people everywhere. I have been friends with Jewish, Korean and Ghanaians. Each and everyone of these people made me to know that they are avoiding their communities because of gossips and evil competitions. So it's everywhere. In every tribes of life, there are bad people and there are good people! Just be wise and don't be toxic yourself!
I love it when you say don't be toxic yourself...Most people complain but they are the devil's themselves (hypocrites)...my uncle ,his wife's and his children are number one hypocrites...they will hurt you and turn around blaming you... evil people are in the churches than the Ghettos
It's not just the community abroad, it's a carryover of the toxicity from back home in Nigeria. A lot of people don't mind their business at all. If you're not married, they want to know when you will, if you're married, they want to know when you'll have children or how you make love with your partner and the list goes on. And the competition about who is more successful is crazy. It's an African thing, it all stem from home and you don't expect them to change overnight when they get abroad, so I'm surprised that people are just discovering this when it has been happening in Africa for decades and we think it's normal
It depends in the country you are living in. In the USA, some cities are toxic. In the UK, samething. But in places like Japan, China, Singapore and where you have a small Nigerian community, you need Nigerian community to move up. Asians have the same issues too. Dig deep, Chinese, Indians and other Africans go through the samething abroad.
Absolutely agree with that keep your marriage issues away from your extended family and friends.. Because you will definitely get over that differences in no distance time but when you don’t you make things difficult for yourselves.
Don’t mind him, he has the whole family in USA so he can decide to stay away from Nigerian communities . That’s true we have some toxic ones but not all.
I haven’t had this experience but I think it’s due to the nature of my job. We socialise occasionally but play by the rules. Socialisation doesn’t mean talking about your personal/private life to others. It’s about getting together with friends and family and building genuine friendships/relationships based on trust
Avoiding Nigerian communities is a myth. If that’s the case why are Nigerian on of the best abroad. It’s about the quality of Nigerians you hang out with and that’s the same for every community.
Not all Nigerians are bad in the diaspora. I have helped Nigerians get professional jobs in the diaspora.I have also seen Nigerians who have helped me towards my career transition.
He is not saying d truth, that depends on u, i have lived in d USA for 15 yrs now, and i move with Nigerians, i have gained a lot from my fellow Nigerians, u let them know wat u want them to know, period. I dnt have problem with Nigerians at all
Spot on my brother very true, for your peace of mind, just stick to your family and very few trusted ones...a lot of them are ridden with inferiority complex and they see you as a threat in some way 😮
I have been distancing myself from Nigerian friends and also the African community. The only friendship I keep with them is to play football and have one or two drinks if scheduled, and we basically discuss Nigerian politics. That's all! I love my people, but they are the friends that are hard to find loyal ones abroad. So, I choose the gatherings of all foreign groups where I don't share my number.
@@user-wm9oz5nk3qdon't mind him. You distance yourself from Nigerians as a Nigerian and also distance yourself from the whole Africans. Seriously guy you really need chronic prayer, I swear.
The problem is not with your diaspora community in our case (Nigerian) but safe guarding your marriage and family business. My friends and I mostly Nigerians we don't discuss to each other about marital issues, or try to do competition with other about who is successful. You have to be specific about who associate with. I feel sorry for those who chose not to associate with their community aboard it only the children who will suffer with regards to cultural identity growing up in aboard. I see now that these same parents regret many years later.
@2dramaNaijatv. You've got a valid point here but the only thing I may disagree is that the children are the ones to make the choice by either choosing to associate between their community or the western community as they rapidly evolve.
Associating with Nigerian community is not the problem but to make sure u keep ur family affairs from Nigerian people. Dont tell any Nigerian about ur spouse. If u have any conflict with ur spouse ,dont discuss it with anybody or else they will mess up ur marriage with their toxic advices.
Everyone here is a Nigerian, but still, they say all Nigerians are bad. I guess if it were possible to bring every single Nigerian abroad on this call, they would day the same thing. My question is, who is then the bad Nigerian? 😅😅
As a non-Nigerian, I'd loudly say its not only the Nigerian community but the other African communities in the diaspora too. My own people too don't know how to mind their own business. Competition everywhere. Betrayal everywhere. Toxicity everywhere. Even at workplace, snitching is there. I know we need some sort of support from our communities once in a blue moon, but plz try to stay private and away as possible as one can. Good bless.
I agree with the others who said it is toxic to live amongst our African people in abroad not only in the USA, they are full of jealousy and hatred for other people success. I am a victim of that, I am an African Sierra Leonean woman living in the UK when I came into the uk to join my husband now my ex husband, he used talk too much to his friends and they were giving him bad advice without coming to the house and asking me to know what was going on in the house or trying to make peace they kept pushing him until I got miscarried through domestic violence then social services collected me and our son from him then most of them stopped talking to him.
Very jealous toxic human beings called Africans, if u want to succeed stay away from them, make them know u are suffering and just be blowing higher, if they have not hit u, then move with them, and experience their hate, wicketness for no good reason
The key is you have to be self aware, strong and know that you only divulge whatever it is you want to share. I worked in Dallas with a Nigerian brother. We both worked in finance and would have lunch together and speak. He was a family man and I had a girlfriend. Once he asked me about her and I showed him her photo. I am from Zimbabwe. My girlfriend then ( now late wife was from Europe). He almost shouted "WHY" because she was white. I was taken aback and almost shocked about his nerve. I told him because i loved her. Then he asked what do my family think, I said they are fine with my choices and even if they were not they had ZERO input i am a grown man. I then asked him if he needed approval from be about his wife. He was surprised and the conversation ended Needless to say, that was the last day I had lunch with this guy because I just dont tolerate nonsense. I have also met wonderful Nigerians. However in general I want to say most Africans are very intrusive about people's personal lives which is tiring.
@@user-wm9oz5nk3q Yes I know. I am Zimbabwean so these things do happen with our people too. Some of us do not respect privacy. I do not see the need to prove other people,s affairs especially if you are not close friend and hence with real concern it’s easy for me, if anyone asks me anything I don’t wish to disclose I simply ask they why it is their concern and after they appear to stumble I let them know it is none of their business and hence have no need to know. I have lost a few acquaintances that way and it was a blessing.
Nigerian men always seeking their opinions of family when choosing a wife like little kids! Especially the men.. they’re tribalistic in nature anyways.
@Daddy Freeze am sincerely sorry that your guests on this show have had such sour exoeriences with their family and the Nogerian communities aroun them., I am so very very sorry. I pray God to give them something that will completely change their minds because they are wounded and very bitter. If they are reading this PLEASE forgive. For your own good. in the 27+ years that I have lived here, the Nigerian communities I hev been invlved with - church and my inlaws are one of the biggest blessings in my life. I wish i could shout this! There's no way I could have survived and lived this long without them! I am the only one in my birth family here. But OMG I couldn't have live this long, or come ths far without the Nigerians I have as friends and my family. In fact I cant call my in laws Mom, Sister, 6 brothers in law and their wives! They are my TIGHT siblings and my Mom is too darling words. She goes from each one of our 7 families to the other. My birth famly thank God with me everyday and the Nigerians around us envy us (in a +ve way). My church family? I need to find a rooftop! I pray everyone finds their own version of mine becaus eI am not sharing! The truth though is in any marriage, no matter the nationality, dont involve a 3rd party in your marriage - PERIOD. Though in fairness, I'd probably find that they would side me before they side my husband. My Mom in love would shred a lion for me, for any one of us, our children are a like cabal! That said, I am not discounting the pain and experience in the guests' lives but please as one of the other guests said - it MAY be a carry over from their own personal situation. In any situation, wisdom should direct, be discerning, but pls be careful not to generalize or throw the baby out with the bathwater. We have our individual friends and other relationships and they even become part of the extended family too. We piggyback on our circles of interaction and look out for one another. Our kids connect so well with one another and have their gigs and the older ones (some are married) mentor and guide the younger ones. We have our issues, no doubt, but it would never cross the wire and go out from our midst. We settle our issues and move on, we dont sponsor non sense or irresponsible behavior. We hold one another accountable with no pretense. It takes work, but any relationship can (not will, or should) work. (Pls pardon typos)
There are good people out there just pray for God`s directions. I really can`t date a guy keeping too many friends most especially the ones that party all the time.
Who then are in this Nigerian community? Everybody who is Nigerian abroad is saying this same thing. We need to change our ways. The change starts with each of us as individuals because we are too vain and competitive despite our professed Christian upbringing. .
The funny thing is the people who are complaining are actually the same. You don't have to adopt other people's toxic behaviour if you dont want to. You can actually make a difference in the lifes of those people you are complaining about.
Daddy Freeze where do you get this people from. This not true. You are the company you keep. The ones I know and many, look out for each other and help each other. The truth is Nigerians do work most of the we are busy and do not even have time For the shenanigans. The Lady says she does not even go to African stores therefore she does not cook Nigerian food. Really? These people are doing a great deservice to their children. Because of their Selfish reasons. Where does she stay in Heaven? What they are talking about is everywhere. Competition is everywhere. Life is a Competition. Do you think the whole America is not competitive? How do you think America as a whole strive, are Nigerians in Nigeria not competive? These people are fool of themselves. When you hear people talk like this they think they are better than most. Toxic People are everywhere. It's the world in which we live. You have to navigate through all of this. Did Jesus not deal with Toxic People while on earth? Wasn't one of his deciples Toxic?
Its very true, a friend of my man just ended his 20 year marriage end of last year, cos the friends of his wife advised her negatively. The man also died in the marriage, he was always afraid to go back home after work.
There was a time I attended a wedding in RI. It was a wedding between a nigerian and a Liberian One of the men at my table said many parents with especially female are in a panic mode because of this " don't mix with Nigerians " nonsense. The whole thing is blowing up in their faces as their kids are marrying from other countries They will mess with you if you allow them. You guys should stop tripping.
Una don start to talk nonsense again. Na only person wey no get sense go allow outsiders scatter hin marriage. I live in Ontario, Canada, and most of my friends are Nigerians (all tribes)... We are all making great progress on our careers,marriages, and family life. When Samira says she stays 1 hr away from the Nigerian community..lol, abeg what does that mean? Does it mean all Nigerians in that particular US state reside in one particular location?🤣😅🤣 I simply do not believe in using one brush to paint everyone.... Una obviously dey make wrong choices by mixing with the wrong people, pls una need to urgently move away from bad choices/ associations and look for people who would add value to you and vice versa. We obviously get different experiences. I have met and still associate with wonderful Nigerians, so make una no make Nigerians look bad or even discouraged Nigerians wey japa from mixing with fellow Nigerians I have established several businesses and made several very profitable investments simply by meeting and mixing with fellow Nigerians.
If you don't associates with your community, you will not just be lonely but developmental health in abroad. Even the white guys here have family or what they call family for community.
So na abroad only naija dey scatter peoples marriage abi! Is it not happening in Nigeria? It's not only those naija people or naija people but anyone that you suspect can affect your marriage negatively. Marriages are breaking up in naija as well.
Even back home in Nigeria too,they all live fake life,always trying so hard to do what next person does,whether it suits them or not and whether they have the capacity or not,they always want to show they can that too,and that's too bad,just be u and do things u like and can,and not bcos the next person does it,they carry this mentality go abroad where u must pay for everything u do and it affects them badly and break their marriages and relationships
It saddens me that Nigerians are thier own problem and we wonder wy the rest of the world treats us like trash its because we always bringing each other down. Arent they also Nigerians saying g Nigeria community are toxic is overwhelming and it saddens me. So if any other country watch's this life what would they say about us and how would they treat us.
Don't mind them. Some Nigerians abroad wants to eat their cakes and still have it. If you check well the people bashing Nigerians have dodgy ways too, trust me.
it’s not just nigerians tho. us americans deal with the same stuff. our families are nosey & competitive towards each other too. we don’t even go to family gatherings anymore. my kids, husband & i stay home on holidays now. so trust me, everybody goes through toxicity within their communities.
It comes from the toxic competition among them. What they are stating here is bible truth. Dont share your private matters in public! Realise you are being seen as competition.
I agree also, they are very toxic. But you must also manage the relations also. Its just the mindsets of the people. There are toxic people everywhere.
I remember trying to go to school in California, and ma dad was friends with a man from the east , it got to the point that I needed to provide prove of money , that is banks statement, although we could pay eventually if I go there , we needed the sum for the year to prove we had the money , there was a way this was done, this eastern friend of my father never told him , it took me going to a travel agent to know , by hen it was too late and I had lost interest. There were multiple information I needed to know like how to get there and find my footing (job infor etc) You know the basic knowledge a typical Nigerian should have to ensure his or her travel becomes easy , but this same man knew all the information ma dad needed to become a chief in the east (the title was onyoma 1 can't remember the complete title or the village or the state though ) this man had three kids there but basic information he refused to give it was when we started back tracking and doing a deep dive on the internet that we got to know most of the things we missed, when the old man confronted him , he said he thought we knew , and offtwd to give us his bank statement to use , the bank statement had &2000 lol the school needed a sum that was around 30k( yearly) We could not have that kind of sum sitting in the account back then , being that he was a government official (how do you explain it ) so we needed someone with the means and who was willing to provide just the statement and we were going to handle the school fee payment because the setup ensured that laying was possible for use in a schedule. The way most of them did it was using the travel agent who uses their account to provide the statement for a fee.. Seeing how that played out I think I understand a bit ,but some times you always need to seek out positive people to be with aviod dream killers and most times u get to know them by paying attention
My dear, you must be definitely bad guys too to be meeting bad Nigerians. One of the best things that happened to me here in the USA is meeting Nigerians. They have helped me a lot!
You are lucky I had horrible experiences with them, from jealousy, to bitterness for no reason, cheating and taking you for a fool hmmm I can’t say it all.
When it comes to the issue of Nigerians scattering your marriage, I have to disagree a little because even when you are going through abuse, hardly will Nigerians tell you to leave, rather, they'll tell you to pray. The people that actually tell Nigerians to report abusive husbands are non-Nigerians
Isn't this dangerous and damaging? Do the East Indians and Arabs keep their families from their communities? Sad for us Africans! Unfortunately, what the man is saying is true among the African communities in the diaspora...
My dear, a week after getting married our church had a public meeting with us, i say public because it was right in the presence of other members, zero respect for confidentiality only to close the meeting off by telling my husband to be a man. Since that we’ve moved to an Anglican Church. We don’t want stress abeg.
This is 💯 percent true...if you see advice from my wives work...even at my job...a female friend husband, a nurse...her husband us in Nigeria now with another woman...all happen on advices and type of friends he moves with...he's a correctional officer...as a fact the rate at which them corrections hone are breaking...you can tell something is wrong...if a governor had to shut down a correction facility...it's not just about drugs...other things like promiscuity n so on
This is so wrong. The Nigerian community are really helping each other. If you discuss your family outside and keep bad association. Then, you'll get false advice and thats a you problem, has nothing to do with Africans, Nigerians or caucasions. You are the company you keep. Fix yourself
All these people coming out here to deny this horrible behaviour of nigerians in diaspora, are either one of the people perpetuating those problems or they are just being deceptive. Every nigerian abroad knows nigerians have this issue , even worst with Ghanaians.
They are always in self-denial and self-promotion to obscure their fissures.....the churches/gatherings/parties/etc. They are passive aggressive, manipulative, controlling, diabolic,hard-headed,etc.😢😢😢
I don't completely agree with Fz opinion, though it all depends on the family dynamics and how they handle issues. I am from a family that people rarely come around except it's very important to come in for a min or two and leave. If it's coming to visit there have to be a formal discussion about that. But one house that was open to come around anytime was my granny house and you can visit her any time. I can't hold back or set a boundary with her,not in this life.
The DJ is talking facts and sense. I relate with Nigerian men abroad with loads of filters but not the women. IF you want to relate with women abroad go to Eastern or Southern African
This applies to all countries and you will never see them coming out against their country like this. Daddy freeze invite better Nigerian to your show not these frustrated Nigerian pls 🙏 am also in california and its never like this.
You cant live in isolation. Apply wisdom. I have been helped by Nigerians here and there are some who compete unnecessarily. Be mindful of what you share
I am not a Nigerian but my nice relationship failed and a major contribution to that was my man who is a Nigerian kept seeking for advice from his Nigerian community brothers. Oh, they advised him so wrong.. Since they even kept looking for women for him, hope they find a good woman for him 😢 I used to hear he is going to meet them, I would get uneasy, because the fight that will be at home that night only God would save me 😢 I used to tell him I don't go to my community gatherings because I don't want to be mislead because most of them are jealous But he kept insisting that Nigerians are different. Ah, the price I paid for him going to those gatherings 😢 Last last....our relationship broke 💔 😢
Mixing with the Nigerian community while overseas can be a wonderful experience for anyone. It offers the opportunity to engage with a vibrant and diverse group of individuals who bring their unique cultural heritage, warmth, and resilience. Like in any community, there may be a few toxic individuals, but it is important to remember that they exist in every society. It is essential to exercise discernment and choose friends wisely. It would be unfair to generalize the negative actions of a few individuals as representative of the entire Nigerian population. Nigerians abroad have come together to support one another, fostering a strong sense of community. They have created networks, provided mentorship, and offered assistance to fellow Nigerians, displaying unity and solidarity. By embracing the positive aspects of the Nigerian community abroad, individuals can forge meaningful connections, gain cultural understanding, and experience the richness of Nigerian traditions.
I disagree with you. It depends on the quality of Nigerians you position yourself with. If you position yourself with trash, you will receive trashy behavior. I have lived in the US for 30years and I have been married for 23 years while we are mostly around Nigerians. My children were born in the US and I am proud of my Nigerian community in Philadelphia area. We are semi supportive of one another and not in competition at all. The behavior in question is not peculiar to Nigerians alone, but to every nation and community.
It depends on you as a man and woman, the friends you choose as a couple, it's not Nigerian community, test all friendships but there good people everywhere but just like husband and wife you have to choose your friends and they don't have to be Nigerian, am kenyan and it's same problem.
The DJ is extremely intelligent. I have lived with the African community abroad and i am Cameroonian origin. Some of my best friends are Nigerians and i have gone to church with them for decades. Anyone who is trying to paint the African community different from what that DJ is saying is not intelligent. The African community have serious issue with their culture. I cant go on and write what i think about them here but it is quite dangerous to live in that community.
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9 times out of 10, toxic people attract other toxic people. I have lived abroad for 15 years and I have received a lot of support and encouragement from my Nigerian friends. Apply wisdom in choosing the company you keep, and try to be a positive person yourself.
Thank you for saying that. My experience has not been this negative.
This are just a group of Toxic people pretending to be social advisers
God bless
It is about finding fellow Nigerians who share your values.
This guy no get value. I will avoid someone like him. Not because he is Nigerians but for his mentality.
I live in the USA, my marriage is my own, and it’s my business. Nigeria community can be helpful as well
Exactly
Look at the Asian communities and I envy how they uplift each other.
Africans can never be like Asians for this simple reason, they can marry their cousins, which means they are one family. They don't judge like "perfect know all" Africans.
LoL 🤣🤣🤣 The grass is always greener on the other side guys
@@fataiadegbenro984 We are not Asians, our culture is different. They have shortcomings in some areas like they can kill their children if they refuse to marry who they want them to marry. However, we are miles apart when it comes to helping and supporting one another. We are not as humble in that respect. I have seen where about 5 families(20 people) live in 2 houses including children.. The funny thing is you won't know who owns the house.
No they don’t always actually. They compete with one another. Do not jealous or envy anyone.
@@MABAGI The particular case is a neighbour about 4 houses next to mine. I have colleagues that said the house is not yours until it is given to you, maybe to start a family because they contributed It is voluntary. Some like us don't like that, they want to be on their own. Only a few though.
I totally agree, I live in the USA. I'm a Caribbean woman who went to Nigerian church and community gatherings, worst mistake ever. They will pry and pry to get into your personal business.
@Gigi-wi9sr. Why is it that whenever Nigerians are discussing a matter that concerns their people and their community, other communities always like to poke their nose and you want us to accept your opinion. As in, are you seriously kidding me? You think I have not heard Caribbeans complain about their fellow Caribbeans? Why did you have to attend a Nigerian church when their are more Caribbean churches in the US than Nigerian churches? Don't you think you are doing the exact same thing that these people are condemning? You can't discipline a child more than his or her parents you know? Please rest, we already know some of you Caribbeans don't like Nigerians and always looking for a way to tell us. SMH!
lol i am carribbean too, i went to african church back in the day scarce and only with my nigerian friend but they can get very intrusive if you are not careful.
Really, I must be the wrong nationality cos I have no time for this and I know a few Nigerians who are like me too. I hope this is not just envy because Nigerians tend to be very hard working and successful.
People will be people everywhere. I have been friends with Jewish, Korean and Ghanaians. Each and everyone of these people made me to know that they are avoiding their communities because of gossips and evil competitions. So it's everywhere. In every tribes of life, there are bad people and there are good people! Just be wise and don't be toxic yourself!
Well said, Why we like to crucify ourselves for self-gratification is beyond me. "Birds of the same feathers flock together", period.
I love it when you say don't be toxic yourself...Most people complain but they are the devil's themselves (hypocrites)...my uncle ,his wife's and his children are number one hypocrites...they will hurt you and turn around blaming you... evil people are in the churches than the Ghettos
100% correct, this things are everywhere
It's not just the community abroad, it's a carryover of the toxicity from back home in Nigeria. A lot of people don't mind their business at all. If you're not married, they want to know when you will, if you're married, they want to know when you'll have children or how you make love with your partner and the list goes on. And the competition about who is more successful is crazy.
It's an African thing, it all stem from home and you don't expect them to change overnight when they get abroad, so I'm surprised that people are just discovering this when it has been happening in Africa for decades and we think it's normal
This is 100% spot on! 👌
Facts! 💯
And on top of it they want to become the managing director of your life because they think it’s their right
Great insight
This is true especially in Texas and Atlanta. I have lived in Washington for 7yrs now and I did not join them because I heard so many rumors
Even in Nigerian churches their competition. People go to churches to show off their new cars and designers clothes.
It depends in the country you are living in. In the USA, some cities are toxic. In the UK, samething. But in places like Japan, China, Singapore and where you have a small Nigerian community, you need Nigerian community to move up. Asians have the same issues too. Dig deep, Chinese, Indians and other Africans go through the samething abroad.
Absolutely agree with that keep your marriage issues away from your extended family and friends.. Because you will definitely get over that differences in no distance time but when you don’t you make things difficult for yourselves.
Not all Nigerians are bad, a Nigerian offered me a job at a big firm and i was so so impressd.
i have encountered the bad & good people. not everyone is bad. is just u, being mindful of the people u hang with.
None of them gave me everything. I had to struggle on my own.
Don’t mind him, he has the whole family in USA so he can decide to stay away from Nigerian communities . That’s true we have some toxic ones but not all.
I haven’t had this experience but I think it’s due to the nature of my job. We socialise occasionally but play by the rules. Socialisation doesn’t mean talking about your personal/private life to others. It’s about getting together with friends and family and building genuine friendships/relationships based on trust
You may not believe it, but it’s absolutely true! May you not fall into their hands. BE CAREFUL!!!
Avoiding Nigerian communities is a myth. If that’s the case why are Nigerian on of the best abroad. It’s about the quality of Nigerians you hang out with and that’s the same for every community.
"Nigerian on of the best" best in what? The man is talking the truth,
Not all Nigerians are bad in the diaspora. I have helped Nigerians get professional jobs in the diaspora.I have also seen Nigerians who have helped me towards my career transition.
He is not saying d truth, that depends on u, i have lived in d USA for 15 yrs now, and i move with Nigerians, i have gained a lot from my fellow Nigerians, u let them know wat u want them to know, period. I dnt have problem with Nigerians at all
Wetin you de talk?
Spot on my brother very true, for your peace of mind, just stick to your family and very few trusted ones...a lot of them are ridden with inferiority complex and they see you as a threat in some way 😮
It’s a Nigerian that helped me abroad.
Good advise, stay well away from Nigerian gatherings, especially Nigerian churches.
I have been distancing myself from Nigerian friends and also the African community. The only friendship I keep with them is to play football and have one or two drinks if scheduled, and we basically discuss Nigerian politics. That's all! I love my people, but they are the friends that are hard to find loyal ones abroad. So, I choose the gatherings of all foreign groups where I don't share my number.
Smart
Great wisdom
Guy but when you have problem you want them to come to your rescue
@@user-wm9oz5nk3q Who? The Nigerians? Nope, thanks.
@@user-wm9oz5nk3qdon't mind him. You distance yourself from Nigerians as a Nigerian and also distance yourself from the whole Africans. Seriously guy you really need chronic prayer, I swear.
Stay with Nigeria’s that share your views ❤Nigeria people
The problem is not with your diaspora community in our case (Nigerian) but safe guarding your marriage and family business. My friends and I mostly Nigerians we don't discuss to each other about marital issues, or try to do competition with other about who is successful. You have to be specific about who associate with. I feel sorry for those who chose not to associate with their community aboard it only the children who will suffer with regards to cultural identity growing up in aboard. I see now that these same parents regret many years later.
@2dramaNaijatv. You've got a valid point here but the only thing I may disagree is that the children are the ones to make the choice by either choosing to associate between their community or the western community as they rapidly evolve.
This thing are in every where, every country, it is call cheating
Associating with Nigerian community is not the problem but to make sure u keep ur family affairs from Nigerian people. Dont tell any Nigerian about ur spouse. If u have any conflict with ur spouse ,dont discuss it with anybody or else they will mess up ur marriage with their toxic advices.
Haha, if you as a man don't wanna tell others, your wife will. The best thing is to never allow it in the first place.
Fact
Everyone here is a Nigerian, but still, they say all Nigerians are bad. I guess if it were possible to bring every single Nigerian abroad on this call, they would day the same thing. My question is, who is then the bad Nigerian? 😅😅
😂
Exactly
As a non-Nigerian, I'd loudly say its not only the Nigerian community but the other African communities in the diaspora too. My own people too don't know how to mind their own business. Competition everywhere. Betrayal everywhere. Toxicity everywhere. Even at workplace, snitching is there. I know we need some sort of support from our communities once in a blue moon, but plz try to stay private and away as possible as one can. Good bless.
I agree with the others who said it is toxic to live amongst our African people in abroad not only in the USA, they are full of jealousy and hatred for other people success. I am a victim of that, I am an African Sierra Leonean woman living in the UK when I came into the uk to join my husband now my ex husband, he used talk too much to his friends and they were giving him bad advice without coming to the house and asking me to know what was going on in the house or trying to make peace they kept pushing him until I got miscarried through domestic violence then social services collected me and our son from him then most of them stopped talking to him.
Didnt he have sense?? Or he lacked the ability to differentiate between good and evil
Very jealous toxic human beings called Africans, if u want to succeed stay away from them, make them know u are suffering and just be blowing higher, if they have not hit u, then move with them, and experience their hate, wicketness for no good reason
The key is you have to be self aware, strong and know that you only divulge whatever it is you want to share. I worked in Dallas with a Nigerian brother. We both worked in finance and would have lunch together and speak. He was a family man and I had a girlfriend. Once he asked me about her and I showed him her photo. I am from Zimbabwe. My girlfriend then ( now late wife was from Europe). He almost shouted "WHY" because she was white. I was taken aback and almost shocked about his nerve. I told him because i loved her.
Then he asked what do my family think, I said they are fine with my choices and even if they were not they had ZERO input i am a grown man. I then asked him if he needed approval from be about his wife. He was surprised and the conversation ended Needless to say, that was the last day I had lunch with this guy because I just dont tolerate nonsense. I have also met wonderful Nigerians. However in general I want to say most Africans are very intrusive about people's personal lives which is tiring.
This discussion do not implies to Nigeria alone, a lot of men cheat, be Zimbabwe, be ir Ghana or whatever, this things are everywhere bra
@@user-wm9oz5nk3q Yes I know. I am Zimbabwean so these things do happen with our people too. Some of us do not respect privacy. I do not see the need to prove other people,s affairs especially if you are not close friend and hence with real concern it’s easy for me, if anyone asks me anything I don’t wish to disclose I simply ask they why it is their concern and after they appear to stumble I let them know it is none of their business and hence have no need to know. I have lost a few acquaintances that way and it was a blessing.
Nigerian men always seeking their opinions of family when choosing a wife like little kids! Especially the men.. they’re tribalistic in nature anyways.
Very true!am a living victim,jare.very very toxic.
That is 💯 percent truth
Sorry DF.....you got the wrong guys on this show. DJ saying that Asians do not have issues, really?
These guys are so unaware.
Totally unaware. Anyway, bashing our own is our speciality. Asians do a lot of doggy things but they will never come to social media to chase clout.
Billions of Asians and he thinks they don't have issues.
You are speaking the truth and a piece of good advice for those who cannot manage conflicts. Keep a long distance between you and them.
@Daddy Freeze am sincerely sorry that your guests on this show have had such sour exoeriences with their family and the Nogerian communities aroun them., I am so very very sorry. I pray God to give them something that will completely change their minds because they are wounded and very bitter. If they are reading this PLEASE forgive. For your own good. in the 27+ years that I have lived here, the Nigerian communities I hev been invlved with - church and my inlaws are one of the biggest blessings in my life. I wish i could shout this! There's no way I could have survived and lived this long without them! I am the only one in my birth family here. But OMG I couldn't have live this long, or come ths far without the Nigerians I have as friends and my family. In fact I cant call my in laws Mom, Sister, 6 brothers in law and their wives! They are my TIGHT siblings and my Mom is too darling words. She goes from each one of our 7 families to the other. My birth famly thank God with me everyday and the Nigerians around us envy us (in a +ve way). My church family? I need to find a rooftop! I pray everyone finds their own version of mine becaus eI am not sharing! The truth though is in any marriage, no matter the nationality, dont involve a 3rd party in your marriage - PERIOD. Though in fairness, I'd probably find that they would side me before they side my husband. My Mom in love would shred a lion for me, for any one of us, our children are a like cabal! That said, I am not discounting the pain and experience in the guests' lives but please as one of the other guests said - it MAY be a carry over from their own personal situation. In any situation, wisdom should direct, be discerning, but pls be careful not to generalize or throw the baby out with the bathwater. We have our individual friends and other relationships and they even become part of the extended family too. We piggyback on our circles of interaction and look out for one another. Our kids connect so well with one another and have their gigs and the older ones (some are married) mentor and guide the younger ones. We have our issues, no doubt, but it would never cross the wire and go out from our midst. We settle our issues and move on, we dont sponsor non sense or irresponsible behavior. We hold one another accountable with no pretense. It takes work, but any relationship can (not will, or should) work. (Pls pardon typos)
The Nigerian churches are mainly doing yahoo na. Even daddyfreeze best friend in London
There are good people out there just pray for God`s directions. I really can`t date a guy keeping too many friends most especially the ones that party all the time.
Daddy freeze , two decades plus in USA, you are spot on .
Omg this is so true. Dangerous people to have around your family if you are married. Take that to the bank.
Who then are in this Nigerian community? Everybody who is Nigerian abroad is saying this same thing. We need to change our ways. The change starts with each of us as individuals because we are too vain and competitive despite our professed Christian upbringing. .
There are times you need 3rd party interventions. The real issue is deciding who is qualified to offer support.
Very true, here in uk is same. My 13years marriage end due to this, they feed the brainless wife how to scatter her house and they later mock her
The funny thing is the people who are complaining are actually the same. You don't have to adopt other people's toxic behaviour if you dont want to. You can actually make a difference in the lifes of those people you are complaining about.
Daddy Freeze where do you get this people from. This not true. You are the company you keep. The ones I know and many, look out for each other and help each other. The truth is Nigerians do work most of the we are busy and do not even have time For the shenanigans. The Lady says she does not even go to African stores therefore she does not cook Nigerian food. Really? These people are doing a great deservice to their children. Because of their Selfish reasons. Where does she stay in Heaven? What they are talking about is everywhere. Competition is everywhere. Life is a Competition. Do you think the whole America is not competitive? How do you think America as a whole strive, are Nigerians in Nigeria not competive? These people are fool of themselves. When you hear people talk like this they think they are better than most. Toxic People are everywhere. It's the world in which we live. You have to navigate through all of this. Did Jesus not deal with Toxic People while on earth? Wasn't one of his deciples Toxic?
Its very true, a friend of my man just ended his 20 year marriage end of last year, cos the friends of his wife advised her negatively. The man also died in the marriage, he was always afraid to go back home after work.
Not all of our people are bad but a vast majority are toxic , they gossip too much , to much envy
There was a time I attended a wedding in RI. It was a wedding between a nigerian and a Liberian
One of the men at my table said many parents with especially female are in a panic mode because of this " don't mix with Nigerians " nonsense. The whole thing is blowing up in their faces as their kids are marrying from other countries
They will mess with you if you allow them. You guys should stop tripping.
Una don start to talk nonsense again.
Na only person wey no get sense go allow outsiders scatter hin marriage.
I live in Ontario, Canada, and most of my friends are Nigerians (all tribes)... We are all making great progress on our careers,marriages, and family life.
When Samira says she stays 1 hr away from the Nigerian community..lol, abeg what does that mean? Does it mean all Nigerians in that particular US state reside in one particular location?🤣😅🤣
I simply do not believe in using one brush to paint everyone....
Una obviously dey make wrong choices by mixing with the wrong people, pls una need to urgently move away from bad choices/ associations and look for people who would add value to you and vice versa.
We obviously get different experiences.
I have met and still associate with wonderful Nigerians, so make una no make Nigerians look bad or even discouraged Nigerians wey japa from mixing with fellow Nigerians
I have established several businesses and made several very profitable investments simply by meeting and mixing with fellow Nigerians.
Good talk
If you don't associates with your community, you will not just be lonely but developmental health in abroad. Even the white guys here have family or what they call family for community.
You lie, I don't mingle with Nigerian's and am ok with it.
Mixed feelings with a pure lesson that life isn't balance. Just a thought
Someone asked speaker the truth, Nigeria is bad here,
I strongly agree with this lady 100%.
Single mother are rising among Nigerian women here in America
Isn't it already a norm?
And those singles still go after the married women's in their advices to join them. So sad.
It's rising in Nigeria as well.
So na abroad only naija dey scatter peoples marriage abi! Is it not happening in Nigeria? It's not only those naija people or naija people but anyone that you suspect can affect your marriage negatively. Marriages are breaking up in naija as well.
Even back home in Nigeria too,they all live fake life,always trying so hard to do what next person does,whether it suits them or not and whether they have the capacity or not,they always want to show they can that too,and that's too bad,just be u and do things u like and can,and not bcos the next person does it,they carry this mentality go abroad where u must pay for everything u do and it affects them badly and break their marriages and relationships
It saddens me that Nigerians are thier own problem and we wonder wy the rest of the world treats us like trash its because we always bringing each other down. Arent they also Nigerians saying g Nigeria community are toxic is overwhelming and it saddens me. So if any other country watch's this life what would they say about us and how would they treat us.
Don't mind them. Some Nigerians abroad wants to eat their cakes and still have it. If you check well the people bashing Nigerians have dodgy ways too, trust me.
it’s not just nigerians tho. us americans deal with the same stuff. our families are nosey & competitive towards each other too. we don’t even go to family gatherings anymore. my kids, husband & i stay home on holidays now. so trust me, everybody goes through toxicity within their communities.
@@dw6465wow that's really sad to hear. How did get here
Not only marriage for your mental health.
Fact and True📌
It comes from the toxic competition among them. What they are stating here is bible truth. Dont share your private matters in public! Realise you are being seen as competition.
It happens to me as well
I agree abroad can be very lonely. My advice is mix up and draw the line. No Nigeria church .
No Nigerian church?
@WordHouse Christian Center, NJ Nigerian church is worse.
I disagree 70% because either one of the partner involved the relationship is responsible for their problems.
Even in Europe they scatter marriages
I agree also, they are very toxic. But you must also manage the relations also. Its just the mindsets of the people. There are toxic people everywhere.
Well said👊 yes Houston 😱
I remember trying to go to school in California, and ma dad was friends with a man from the east , it got to the point that I needed to provide prove of money , that is banks statement, although we could pay eventually if I go there , we needed the sum for the year to prove we had the money , there was a way this was done, this eastern friend of my father never told him , it took me going to a travel agent to know , by hen it was too late and I had lost interest.
There were multiple information I needed to know like how to get there and find my footing (job infor etc)
You know the basic knowledge a typical Nigerian should have to ensure his or her travel becomes easy , but this same man knew all the information ma dad needed to become a chief in the east (the title was onyoma 1 can't remember the complete title or the village or the state though ) this man had three kids there but basic information he refused to give it was when we started back tracking and doing a deep dive on the internet that we got to know most of the things we missed, when the old man confronted him , he said he thought we knew , and offtwd to give us his bank statement to use , the bank statement had &2000 lol the school needed a sum that was around 30k( yearly)
We could not have that kind of sum sitting in the account back then , being that he was a government official (how do you explain it ) so we needed someone with the means and who was willing to provide just the statement and we were going to handle the school fee payment because the setup ensured that laying was possible for use in a schedule.
The way most of them did it was using the travel agent who uses their account to provide the statement for a fee..
Seeing how that played out I think I understand a bit ,but some times you always need to seek out positive people to be with aviod dream killers and most times u get to know them by paying attention
My dear, you must be definitely bad guys too to be meeting bad Nigerians. One of the best things that happened to me here in the USA is meeting Nigerians. They have helped me a lot!
You met lovely ones.
You are lucky
I live in Switzerland, what nigerian did to me. I cried 😢
You are lucky I had horrible experiences with them, from jealousy, to bitterness for no reason, cheating and taking you for a fool hmmm I can’t say it all.
Very toxic. They will hurt you more than outsiders.
I totally agree
💯 fact
Right....competition and Rivarly just to laugh at each other...Toxic.
When it comes to the issue of Nigerians scattering your marriage, I have to disagree a little because even when you are going through abuse, hardly will Nigerians tell you to leave, rather, they'll tell you to pray. The people that actually tell Nigerians to report abusive husbands are non-Nigerians
That's a lie. Be honest. Hypocrite
If someone is beating you senseless, they need to be reported.
Prayer is the key 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Isn't this dangerous and damaging? Do the East Indians and Arabs keep their families from their communities? Sad for us Africans! Unfortunately, what the man is saying is true among the African communities in the diaspora...
My dear, a week after getting married our church had a public meeting with us, i say public because it was right in the presence of other members, zero respect for confidentiality only to close the meeting off by telling my husband to be a man. Since that we’ve moved to an Anglican Church. We don’t want stress abeg.
This is 💯 percent true...if you see advice from my wives work...even at my job...a female friend husband, a nurse...her husband us in Nigeria now with another woman...all happen on advices and type of friends he moves with...he's a correctional officer...as a fact the rate at which them corrections hone are breaking...you can tell something is wrong...if a governor had to shut down a correction facility...it's not just about drugs...other things like promiscuity n so on
Thank my Corolado brother
This is so wrong. The Nigerian community are really helping each other. If you discuss your family outside and keep bad association. Then, you'll get false advice and thats a you problem, has nothing to do with Africans, Nigerians or caucasions. You are the company you keep. Fix yourself
Where? Nigeria people are the almost evil evil
Weather you are in Nigeria or in USA if you take your problem to the wrong people you will get the same result
All these people coming out here to deny this horrible behaviour of nigerians in diaspora, are either one of the people perpetuating those problems or they are just being deceptive. Every nigerian abroad knows nigerians have this issue , even worst with Ghanaians.
They are always in self-denial and self-promotion to obscure their fissures.....the churches/gatherings/parties/etc. They are passive aggressive, manipulative, controlling, diabolic,hard-headed,etc.😢😢😢
That Man defending Nigerians diaspora is part of the toxicity in Nigeria community.
Chose your friends wisely you are not a baby
How did you start your life in U.S?
I don't completely agree with Fz opinion, though it all depends on the family dynamics and how they handle issues. I am from a family that people rarely come around except it's very important to come in for a min or two and leave. If it's coming to visit there have to be a formal discussion about that. But one house that was open to come around anytime was my granny house and you can visit her any time. I can't hold back or set a boundary with her,not in this life.
Fact
The DJ is talking facts and sense. I relate with Nigerian men abroad with loads of filters but not the women. IF you want to relate with women abroad go to Eastern or Southern African
This applies to all countries and you will never see them coming out against their country like this. Daddy freeze invite better Nigerian to your show not these frustrated Nigerian pls 🙏 am also in california and its never like this.
That's to all and not only to Nigerians
😂😂😂😂😂😂 repeat calling smh
You cant live in isolation. Apply wisdom. I have been helped by Nigerians here and there are some who compete unnecessarily. Be mindful of what you share
Biases imply, that everyone tends to define the other from their vanishing point. Or their point of interest or passion or pain...
I am not a Nigerian but my nice relationship failed and a major contribution to that was my man who is a Nigerian kept seeking for advice from his Nigerian community brothers. Oh, they advised him so wrong..
Since they even kept looking for women for him, hope they find a good woman for him 😢
I used to hear he is going to meet them, I would get uneasy, because the fight that will be at home that night only God would save me 😢
I used to tell him I don't go to my community gatherings because I don't want to be mislead because most of them are jealous
But he kept insisting that Nigerians are different. Ah, the price I paid for him going to those gatherings 😢
Last last....our relationship broke 💔 😢
100% true👍
Mixing with the Nigerian community while overseas can be a wonderful experience for anyone. It offers the opportunity to engage with a vibrant and diverse group of individuals who bring their unique cultural heritage, warmth, and resilience. Like in any community, there may be a few toxic individuals, but it is important to remember that they exist in every society. It is essential to exercise discernment and choose friends wisely. It would be unfair to generalize the negative actions of a few individuals as representative of the entire Nigerian population. Nigerians abroad have come together to support one another, fostering a strong sense of community. They have created networks, provided mentorship, and offered assistance to fellow Nigerians, displaying unity and solidarity. By embracing the positive aspects of the Nigerian community abroad, individuals can forge meaningful connections, gain cultural understanding, and experience the richness of Nigerian traditions.
If being around Nigeria is a problem, people in Nigeria should've divorced then. I don't believe in this.
They tried that against me but failed...they're evil
This is a dangerous generalization. These people have a thing or two to learn about relationships
I disagree with you. It depends on the quality of Nigerians you position yourself with. If you position yourself with trash, you will receive trashy behavior. I have lived in the US for 30years and I have been married for 23 years while we are mostly around Nigerians. My children were born in the US and I am proud of my Nigerian community in Philadelphia area. We are semi supportive of one another and not in competition at all. The behavior in question is not peculiar to Nigerians alone, but to every nation and community.
Number 1
Thank you!
Daddy Freeze how far, you said that they're are in love, is it that how you see love.
Is that Darryl bell from different world?
It depends on you as a man and woman, the friends you choose as a couple, it's not Nigerian community, test all friendships but there good people everywhere but just like husband and wife you have to choose your friends and they don't have to be Nigerian, am kenyan and it's same problem.
Agreed
The DJ is extremely intelligent. I have lived with the African community abroad and i am Cameroonian origin. Some of my best friends are Nigerians and i have gone to church with them for decades. Anyone who is trying to paint the African community different from what that DJ is saying is not intelligent. The African community have serious issue with their culture. I cant go on and write what i think about them here but it is quite dangerous to live in that community.
True
This mind set is toxic....how can the branches be worst than the tree? Who raised the person's abroard? Was it not the tree?
People with issue as against Nigeria community. 1
Is true