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As a bi queer woman, it sucks being bi. Everybody questions your authenticity and they think we’re confused. I have to CONSTANTLY defend who I am and more importantly who I’m not. It’s so much easier being with the opposite gender and “pass” for being heterosexual. 😢
Honestly, watching you made me realize I'm bisexual. I've always felt ashamed, because I thought what I feel is "not bisexual enough" because I'm attracted to femininity, but not necessarily only women, but there are also a few men I'm attracted to and that's not weird, but a different kind of bisexual.
I date someone based on how they respect me. It's about connection, not specific body parts or gender identity. Everyone deserves to find the connections that they desire.
I agree it's needed, there are so many bisexuals out there staying in the closet, we need more visibility and presence in the society and general public. bi erasure is so strong and many people don't have the idea of liking multiple genders
your channel is always so affirming; thank you so much for the work that you do! I’ve been so disillusioned with online queer conversations as they somehow always turn to vitriol against bisexual women. when I was growing up in high school and college I felt so comfortable with my existence bc I shared healthy spaces with other queer/bisexual people. now that I lack those spaces the internet is really the only place for community and it feels deeply hostile to me. I actually don’t think I realized how much rejection from fellow queer people, especially sapphics, has tanked my mental health until this moment haha. so thank you for your continued advocacy! and as always your voice is SO soothing- please consider narrating some audiobooks. 😭❤
Hey thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words of encouragement. If you’d like to support my channel and get loads more content from me click the JOIN button, otherwise I’m just so happy you’re here with us. Thank you again. ❤️
Keep up the good work on educating your audience! I think that bisexual men have a hard time opening up, there is a sense amongst heterosexuals that bi men are people who have not accepted their homosexuality, but I believe that it is not that way, I believe that bi people feel attracted to both men and women, just to start with. However a lot of bi people establish a love relationship with a member of the opposite sex, get married, have children and can live heterosexual lives, and yet, be sexually attracted to the same gender. I wonder if a bi man can get in love with a gay man and not flirt with a woman as well? I’m sure there are many who do, but this duality is what is considered confusing and the people who enter into a relationship with a bi person be insecure ❤❤
For me, and maybe I'm like a unicorn, even with clergy for a father who was homophobic before death, my sexuality was never the problem, exactly. Not that figuring it out and living with bigoted relatives was easy, but I have an "extra layer" to contend with having been born with a disability as well. Another British content creator on TH-cam does intersectional videos about disabilities and being LGBTQ+. She pointed out a statistic saying that people born with disabilities are apparently far more often something other than straight. I find that both very interesting and kind of a quandary because you'd think that nature/evolution/God would not just throw every possible problem at one person if we're really supposed to all perpetuate the species and not just literally.
I'm on the asexual spectrum and have a physical disability that I was born with. I realised before I left school that I didn't find anyone sexually attractive. When I got to college, there was one person in particular who always seemed to be asking me who I fancied. I suspected that my sexuality was being scrutinised because I had a disability, and I felt deeply uncomfortable for perpetuating the myth that disabled people are asexual. Regardless, if anyone asked, I persisted in telling people that I didn't fancy anybody because, for me, that was the truth. I happen to be an asexual person and also a person with a disability. However uncomfortable I felt at the thought of perpetuating a myth about disabled people, I thought it would be worse to lie and say that I was sexually attracted to someone when I wasn't. Anyway, I don't think anyone ever believed me. When I look back at that time now, I realise just how open and 'out' I was being, even though I didn't realise that that was what I was being at the time, and hadn't intended to be 'out'. I thought things would change and that I would, eventually, find people sexually attractive. I didn't realise that I was telling my peers about an aspect of my identity that has remained really rather fixed. Not only was I not fully aware of what I was doing, but I don't think other people understood just how brilliant I was being at being 'out'. I certainly never got any acknowledgment for it.
Speaking on confusion, this is something I always found curious about myself: Who I felt attracted to as a child. If it's too personal let me know, but did you always feel something for both, or was it mostly or entirely one gender or another until a certain point in life and then you felt something for others? These things start super early, I remember seeing some scenes in movies when I was like 4 years old, I actually remember the first time feeling turned on lol.
To book a 1:1 coaching session with Mark, click here: www.notdefining.com/coaching-info.
Text chat with Mark and join group sessions at patreon.com/notdefining.
For more videos click the JOIN button.
7:07 Only recently I learned that bi, trans and pan identities are all interconnected. And they’re all awesome people in my experience.
Once again you win the prize for first commenter. ⭐️ always love to hear from you.
@@notdefining Thank you
Gay guy here showing nothing but love and support for my bisexuals!!! Love y'all sm!!
Omg this made my day
As a bi queer woman, it sucks being bi. Everybody questions your authenticity and they think we’re confused. I have to CONSTANTLY defend who I am and more importantly who I’m not. It’s so much easier being with the opposite gender and “pass” for being heterosexual. 😢
I totally hear you. The struggle can be so hard. You are not alone.
Honestly, watching you made me realize I'm bisexual. I've always felt ashamed, because I thought what I feel is "not bisexual enough" because I'm attracted to femininity, but not necessarily only women, but there are also a few men I'm attracted to and that's not weird, but a different kind of bisexual.
I’m so glad you have been able to come to this clarity. You’re right, bi covers all the things you mentioned.
I date someone based on how they respect me. It's about connection, not specific body parts or gender identity. Everyone deserves to find the connections that they desire.
Omg yes yes yes to this
I agree it's needed, there are so many bisexuals out there staying in the closet, we need more visibility and presence in the society and general public.
bi erasure is so strong and many people don't have the idea of liking multiple genders
Thanks for this comment
your channel is always so affirming; thank you so much for the work that you do! I’ve been so disillusioned with online queer conversations as they somehow always turn to vitriol against bisexual women. when I was growing up in high school and college I felt so comfortable with my existence bc I shared healthy spaces with other queer/bisexual people. now that I lack those spaces the internet is really the only place for community and it feels deeply hostile to me. I actually don’t think I realized how much rejection from fellow queer people, especially sapphics, has tanked my mental health until this moment haha. so thank you for your continued advocacy! and as always your voice is SO soothing- please consider narrating some audiobooks. 😭❤
Hey thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words of encouragement. If you’d like to support my channel and get loads more content from me click the JOIN button, otherwise I’m just so happy you’re here with us. Thank you again. ❤️
Keep up the good work on educating your audience! I think that bisexual men have a hard time opening up, there is a sense amongst heterosexuals that bi men are people who have not accepted their homosexuality, but I believe that it is not that way, I believe that bi people feel attracted to both men and women, just to start with. However a lot of bi people establish a love relationship with a member of the opposite sex, get married, have children and can live heterosexual lives, and yet, be sexually attracted to the same gender. I wonder if a bi man can get in love with a gay man and not flirt with a woman as well? I’m sure there are many who do, but this duality is what is considered confusing and the people who enter into a relationship with a bi person be insecure ❤❤
Of course they can.
9:41 Also, Tallulah Bankhead. The epitome of chaotic energy.
😂🩷💜💙
Drew Barrymore is bisexual and james dean the actor
Oh yes good ones
For me, and maybe I'm like a unicorn, even with clergy for a father who was homophobic before death, my sexuality was never the problem, exactly. Not that figuring it out and living with bigoted relatives was easy, but I have an "extra layer" to contend with having been born with a disability as well. Another British content creator on TH-cam does intersectional videos about disabilities and being LGBTQ+. She pointed out a statistic saying that people born with disabilities are apparently far more often something other than straight. I find that both very interesting and kind of a quandary because you'd think that nature/evolution/God would not just throw every possible problem at one person if we're really supposed to all perpetuate the species and not just literally.
Totally feel you. The extra layer is real.
I'm on the asexual spectrum and have a physical disability that I was born with. I realised before I left school that I didn't find anyone sexually attractive. When I got to college, there was one person in particular who always seemed to be asking me who I fancied. I suspected that my sexuality was being scrutinised because I had a disability, and I felt deeply uncomfortable for perpetuating the myth that disabled people are asexual. Regardless, if anyone asked, I persisted in telling people that I didn't fancy anybody because, for me, that was the truth. I happen to be an asexual person and also a person with a disability. However uncomfortable I felt at the thought of perpetuating a myth about disabled people, I thought it would be worse to lie and say that I was sexually attracted to someone when I wasn't. Anyway, I don't think anyone ever believed me. When I look back at that time now, I realise just how open and 'out' I was being, even though I didn't realise that that was what I was being at the time, and hadn't intended to be 'out'. I thought things would change and that I would, eventually, find people sexually attractive. I didn't realise that I was telling my peers about an aspect of my identity that has remained really rather fixed. Not only was I not fully aware of what I was doing, but I don't think other people understood just how brilliant I was being at being 'out'. I certainly never got any acknowledgment for it.
Speaking on confusion, this is something I always found curious about myself: Who I felt attracted to as a child. If it's too personal let me know, but did you always feel something for both, or was it mostly or entirely one gender or another until a certain point in life and then you felt something for others? These things start super early, I remember seeing some scenes in movies when I was like 4 years old, I actually remember the first time feeling turned on lol.
Yes this is normal. We have pre-sexual feelings as children.
20/20 vusion lgbtia exhist regardless if u see it or not, slay❤🧡💛💙💙💗💖🦄👑🧜♂️👑🏡💤🌻
Bi is best
I think so haha
❤
Im a baby bi you could say, is it normally to have impostor syndrome when it comes to sexuality
Absolutely yes
@@notdefining wow that was fast lmao, and thank you man