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As a bisexual woman, this is fascinating. I feel such compassion for my beautiful bi boys who are confused and feel like they need to keep these anxieties inside. You're seen, I will listen. For my bisexual story today, I'm just going to give you a little kiss right on the top of your head, and now we've made a little bisexual story to share. It's not about me today, I think we should all show bi men lots of love.
Being an older Gay Man I have one opinion I feel I must be stated here If someone identifies as Bi-sexual as a gay man it is my RESPONSABILITY to allow them to think or feel that way. Their motivations, fears, and desires are frankly none of My business. It is impossible to fix someone and to do so without being asked is an invasion of someone's personal space and is quite frankly a manipulation on our part please let other people be who they are or prefer to identify as.
That is an excellent point. I typically don’t label myself as bi especially within the gay community because in my experience there are a large number of people who don’t believe in male bisexuality and if I’m trying to get laid I’m not interested in getting into an argument. Im 50 and hope the joke bi now gay later will go away forever. I don’t have any idea what some people think is proof of being bi for a man since having sex with men or women doesn’t seem to matter and some other people seem to want a perfect partner ratio of 50/50 and then there are those people who think that if a man has had 1 sexual encounter with a man they must be gay 😂
I bet a lot of the confusion would go away if we stopped labelling people's sexuality, and just accepted that we are attracted to who we're attacted to, and leave it at that.
@dmnemaine This is a BS cop out response to 1) being a coward as to who you are in groups, and 2) you want unlimited public approval while privately enjoying anti-social behaviors. The test is : when there is a referendum or new law, will you go into the voting booth and support pro-gay legislation, anti-gender bias or making sexual orientation a non-issue for job dismissal?? When everyone has equality under the law THEN you can be unlabelled. Until then, vote with your feelings and allegiances and not with the herd of sheep you live with.
I was waiting for the masculine one because that is definitely my biggest worry as a bi man. I love my sexually but I do fear that people put it in front of my masculinity. They may assume that I am not manly enough because of my being bi. I also like to embrace my feminine side and when I do I worry about being or appearing masculine enough. I fear that this will limit my dating options in the future with women if I were to ever find myself single again. Great video!
Jamie, don't worry about not being man enough. You are. It's pervasive in Western society to emphasize a small set of unfortunate attributes as being truly manly. Strong, unfazed, stoic, emotionally unavailable, possessive, jealous, violent. It is a poisonous cocktail of mostly unwanted things that is thrust upon us. Being a man is so much more than being an uncaring brute. It's absolutely toxic that men are chastised for having a soft, caring and nurturing side. Just embrace your whole being. If some people then proceed to label you less than a man, that is their problem and you are better off without them. It's up to us to reject the man box. It only has power as long as we all accept it as the inevitable truth, which this horrible thing absolutely is not.
This is a fantastic video-I’ve watched it twice! Your delivery is clear, thoughtful, and engaging. I’ve always been mystified by society’s preoccupation with sexuality. It’s not just about saying it’s nobody’s business; it’s the sheer weight people place on it that puzzles me. Human sexuality, like eye color, skin tone, or hair type, is part of the natural diversity of humanity. Yet, society continues to fixate, judge, and harbor negativity and bigotry around it. Your video sheds light on this issue with such clarity, helping me better understand the experiences of bisexual people. It’s given me valuable insight, making me more aware, sensitive, and supportive. Thank you so much-I’m excited to explore more of your work. Best wishes, Lyndon Smith
Thank you very much for your clip posted here. I have a son who is bisexual and am a minister who has bisexuals in my parish and appreciate the insight. I work to provide an inclusive and environment for ALL my parish to grow and believe in supporting the person God has made.
You are awesome for saying this. I think most people live in fear of being rejected if they express who they really are. It is confusing and it takes a huge toll on your well-being. We can't blame ourselves for it either, but we can learn to accept our many differences and maybe we can then accept everyone else. If you think about it, love always wins. Start with yourself.
I’ve got a bisexual friend who said it’s easier to get with guys, he loves women but occasionally likes a guy for a naughty easy time, I’ve been with him a few times in the past like a bro helping another one out, I’m not in love with him. He’s got a gf now so we don’t do anything but still friends
Omg it’s so confusing, I’m gay and I’m sorry to say but I had some of the prejudices mentioned here about bisexuality… I am sorry and thank you for opening my eyes to how confusing it can be for you Wishing you all the best ❤
@martywolf2011 l relate to exactly what say. Been there, and done that and thought l was an open accepting person and there was no forums or manifestos for bisexuals who were making things up as they went along. Or not. This site has opened up my eyes so much to narrow common prejudice traps of thinking. But life is a long journey of discoveries and reexaminations.
Hello from Australia. I'm a straight heterosexual woman , also a Psychotherapist and Relationship Counsellor. I wanted to hear your presentation. I married a man ( now my ex spouse) who after some years came out as a transgender woman who is also bisexuality, with preferences for women but will also go with men. In the 6 years between then and now, I was confronted with so much , both personally and professionally. The things you point out here about bisexuality. And Gender, in general. Cheating? It can be very subjective as to what constitutes real " cheating", and what doesn't! How it can be spun around, very intellectual, very tricky, and very disguised. You say around 35% of people. I'll say around 50%, and most of the other 50% seriously consider it, but don't do it because of the consequences, to themselves. Men who cover it up in themselves? Definitely. Why? Because it takes enormous courage to come out, and human beings are so harshly judgemental . No one in my ex's family tribe wants anything to do with her now. For over 3 years. No contact of any kind , from any of them, with her. To them, she no longer exists.
Hey thank you so much for sharing your experience. It sounds like you both went through a lot. Sending warm wishes and gratitude for sharing your perspectives with us.
I am going to go out on a limb and expand your comment that 'some bisexual people are confused.' I agree, but I think you could make a similar assertion about straight people and gay people. I say that because human sexual attraction is at times confusing and does not proceed in a predetermined direction or orderly fashion for everyone. For example, I was married after high school to my HS girlfriend. We were together a total 9 years, most of them happy. After divorce, I had my first gay male encounter with a male friend, which led to us living together for a decade. I consider myself gay, so I was greatly shocked when I later fell hard for a female. Or when I have sex dreams about women. It is very confusing at times, although I consider myself gay. I have never been promiscuous, possibly due to my conservative upbringing and religious indoctrination (e.g., I never cheated on my wife or my male partner, nor did I ever really want to). I've only ever had sex with 1 woman, and fewer than 10 men. But easily half of those men would call themselves straight (possibly WAY too scared to say they were bi?). One of those straight men and I were more akin to 'acquaintances with benefits,' so when he told me he had fallen in love with me, I was flabbergasted (and ended it because I was not remotely feeling the same toward him).
You mentioned that studies show cheating is in fact *less* prevalent among bisexuals in monogamous relationships. Do you have any references to recommend? As a non-cheating bisexual man, it would be nice to see some empirical evidence that disproves the popular narrative.
Diamond, L. M. (2008). Female bisexuality from adolescence to adulthood: Results from a 10-year longitudinal study. Developmental Psychology, 44, 5-14. Spalding, L. R., & Peplau, L. A. (1997). The unfaithful lover: heterosexuals’ perceptions of bisexuals and their relationships. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 21, 611-625. McLean, K. (2004). Negotiating (non) monogamy: Bisexuality and intimate relationships. Journal of Bisexuality, 4, 83-97.
I am glad you are taking on this topic as it is really needed. I think what I have the biggest fear about is I really feel like whatever you are trying to figure out about yourself that integrity & consideration for the feelings of others is a value that quite honestly is not a common value in our societies no matter what sexuality we are talking about. Children can often mask or smooth over these problems but it really doesn't ever get dealt with and addressed in all our identifies overall. It is in many ways the kernel of the problem upon which so many other elements of sexuality & identity rest upon. The biggest problem I have with relationships in general and you brought this up at about 9 mins or so is the cheating issue. But the whole cheating thing was kind of glossed over in that it isn't "good" but we never really talk about why this is so. It is really difficult to talk about male dynamics and sexuality without talking about patriarchal beliefs, values and the emotional numbing that often accompanies this dynamic. Patriarchy is a part of everyone to some degree as it is very much still a central theme in the development of the identity. What is problematic about patriarchy and people is people will seldom do the needed work to understand how much of their sexual identity or not is rooted in patriarchy. And this does not just affect men but this is also an internalized patriarchal problem with women as well. Having said all of this I think in terms of who I get with it is less about their sexuality and more about how much they have explored, done the work & understand the affects of patriarchy in their own lives and thus how this plays out in their values around how they operate, how they connect or not with others and how this impacts how their values and how they move through their worlds with others. Personally I do not believe I would feel comfortable dating a bisexual individual because there is a concern for me about my own emotional safety. Let me explain. Bisexual men often can put up a straight, believable front of that is derived from patriarchal beliefs about the self and others that does not require any need to present their authentic self, whatever that may be, and instead hide behind the patriarchal shield of straight acting. That's not to say that this is true with all sexual relationships & you are quite right to point out that cheating happens regardless of sexual identity. But the risk to my own emotional well-being is greater because many bisexual men, and straight acting men in general as well as straight men value how a situation appears to others more than who they truly are. There is no other better example of this at a microcosm than in manly sports, fraternities and other traditionally male identified areas. I know many men who will be married to a woman and if given the chance will have sex with another man so long as know one finds out about it. The truth is not valued as much as the appearance of that person to others in their society. And the gift of someone else's body is rarely valued outside of the orgasm and/or brief intimacy that it provides. Many gay men who cannot pass as straight acting do not have this buffer and so they are often forced into hard truths about how they treat others because they don't have the patriarchal, straight appearing circles, often including their families, their religion and their own "identities" to shield them from their choices. There identities are for all intents and purpose are more exposed and thus they do not have the patriarchal shield as readily available to them to buffer their authentic selves from themselves and from others So the reason I am much more hesitant to be involved with a bisexual man is that it is almost never clear even to the individual how much of their authentic self actually translates into their behaviors, values, relationships, etc.... Patriarchy serves as a shield that a given percentage of straight acting, straight or bisexual mean have that allows them to hide from or not deal with their sexuality, even from themselves, as they can be accepted and covert in one group and then walk into another group like Grindr, adult bookstores, etc.. and get their sexual needs met when it suits them. I have experienced ALOT of men who have sex with me (often times very selfishly and self-centered aka patriarchy) then as soon as they get their needs met they not only don't care about my needs in any way, shape or form, but emotionally wall themselves off again by acting like what just happened didn't just happen and walk back into their "normal" heterosexual lives with absolutely no remorse or care about what they are doing to the person they just had sex with and also to the wife or girlfriend they go home to that almost NEVER knows about this other life. This is a real and robust pattern that continues to play out even today and adds yet another layer of potential complication that makes me feel incredibly insecure. Patriarchy is the main fuel that keeps this cycle of deception and self delusion that many men can spend their whole lives cycling through AND it only serves to maintain the "confusion" aka I don't have to really deal with myself or how I view others as objects only present as it relates to getting my needs met. This has basically resulted in my refusing to be involved with men period. And it is sad to say but true that MANY gay men will allow themselves to be treated poorly as in their hearts they do not believe they are worth more than that (internalized homophobia). And many gay men will condone these facades so long as they get their sexual needs met. So in short this is not just a sexuality problem, but it also a patriarchal problem and so long as that shield continues to exist as an easy out for men, well, then I imagine there is absolutely no real benefit to being honest with yourself about who you are or honest with others. My motto is, you are never going to have a ghost of a chance at knowing who you authentically are until you are 100% okay with whatever that happens to turn out to be." And the benefits of patriarchy often times outweigh the benefits of being your authentic self & treating others with the dignity and respect that we all deserve to have no matter what our sexuality. All the rest is smoke and mirrors fueled by the miasma and endless well that allegiance to patriarchy affords the user.
On point one - I'm a gay man, and I probably fully came out around age 19 or so. (It's been a LONG time(!), hence my uncertainty about the exact date.) In my late teens, I identified as bi for exactly the reason you describe - I was far more comfortable identifying in that way. I can totally understand how people who are genuinely bi could be hurt and/or offended by that, but really I think the blame lies with the heterosexism (blythe unjustified assumption that everyone is straight until evidence is provided to the contrary), which leaves gay men like myself (and I would presume lesbians also) feeling in some sense morally obliged to keep some kind of contact with a straight identity due to social pressure. In my case, it didn't last very long, and once I properly came out I never looked back. I have always been immensely supportive of my bi brothers and sisters, against both homo/biphobia in wider society and against the biphobia internal to the gay/lesbian section of society, and will always do so. I'm sorry if our 'passing through' your community causes you any problems, both regarding external perceptions and psychologically, but I hope you can understand that this isn't, in most cases, meant to be disrespectful or exploitative, but is just a coping strategy for gay men and lesbians in difficulty either with accepting themselves or with being able to state that identity in the wider word. Much love and peace to my bi brothers and sisters.
I've known a lot of many kinds of people and have never had prejudices regarding bi men because I've always had to take it on faith that bisexual men exist.
Hey thanks for not being prejudice. We appreciate it. You don’t have to take it on faith, as there is endless unquestionably comprehensive scientific research which proves beyond any doubt whatsoever that bisexuality exists and is highly common in humans and all other species. So yay! 🙌
Wow! Thank you for sharing! I’m 65 years old and have struggled all my life with this…you touched on all my concerns (Spot On). So good to hear I’m not totally crazy. Thank you so much.
Very interesting video. I have always been bi and been married to women twice, the second one being a lesbian. I ultimately chose to identify as gay and have been with my partner in an open relationship for 34 years (topic for another time). I recognized many of the issues you have brought up but mostly objectively. My up-bringing was very different as I was a stage performer from the age of 15 and my sexuality was already in full bloom. If it was fuckable, I was interested! This provide myriad experiences from ALL parts of the spectrum and were all instrumental in coming to my ulitmate preference. I have had the argument with other gay men about whether or not, being gay is only about sexual attraction. I say it is... just like being straight is about sexual attraction! It is the defining factor. You are correct about the various reasons many "bi-identified" men are confused or in denial. I come across this a lot in the gay community. I have also discovered that one reason some men "cheat" on their wives by getting blowjobs from men, is because wives generally don't like to swallow! I apologise for being crass but I have had many married men tell me this. You are also correct about cheating. The reason my partner and I are still together is because we never promised fidelity to one another. Monogamy is not in our repertoire but that is not to say I don't believe it is achievable. I just think monogamy isk something that simply happens when both partners have no desire for any other. I don't think it is a healthy thing to commit to, if that is not the case. I also definitely don't subscribe to the notion of "jealousy". It is pointless and self-destructive. I am grateful that I never had to go through many of the Bi-sexual issues you outlined here but I can empathize with those who do and will always encourage them to speak more about their situations with a friend or counsellor. My ear is always available too. Thanks again for addressing this.
As a Bi wom myself, I absolutely relate to the confusion that comes with being bi, however I feel less confused once I understood I was bi and not straight with unexplicable feelings for other women sometimes. And Yes ! It's easier to get with guys, than it is to be with women ... And I've mostly dated women, even with that experience I understand that. Thank you for your vid ! I love my Bi Men so much 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍.
I respect your honesty. The thing about Fidelity in a relationship: it seems artificial and often goes against nature....and social conditioning has conditioned people to feel that its against the rule...to the extent that if it happens MURDERING love is the answer....IT IS NOT!! killing love for another human being just because of that is incredibly cruel and stupid.
I used to all what people call cheating to make me feel badly. Once I realized why it happens; I'm not concerned about it anymore. I've been single now for several years. I'm even less concerned about it now. I hope I've been helpful in some way. I know there are still a lot bi guys who struggle with their feelings about this.
I love your first inconvenient truth! This needed to be said. These labels are not great except to help us understand our preferences and relate to others. As it is all about sexual preferences I think people are making more of us confused. For instance a gay man is not a man that can’t have sex with women and enjoy it.
To many people think that BI is 50/50, but it is not, like other things it is on a spectrum. You can be a Gay-Leaning BI, or you can be a Straight-Leaning BI. It is not a Line, it is a spectrum. Also, who you Do is not necessarily who you Are.
I think people need to be honest about their intentions in relationships. If your nature is to not be monogamous, don't make a monogamous commitment. If it's your nature to mess around with other people, be up front about it. Then you can set realistic boundaries. My partner of nine years told me on our first date that has no intention of being monogamous. I found the honesty refreshing. I had previously been in a monogamous relationship with someone who slept around a lot, and lied about it. The lying was the most hurtful part to me.
As a bi male myself I feel this video does more to just continue the stereotypes around bisexuals then it does try and help remove that. Like I wouldn’t have started out calling most of us confused, when that is the traditional bi erasure statement. Like I’d be curious on the statistics for this video for when the average person is leaving the video, if that was the only point they saw then it was a failure. Sexuality is a journey and the only thing that makes it ‘confusing’ is trying to apply others standards or expectations to yourself when they don’t apply. Which is why I liked your way of saying, “it’s your own unique version of masculinity”. The rest really just wasn’t specific to being bi… Just because someone is straight, doesn’t me they want to have sex with everyone of the opposite sex. So when your potential pool of options isn’t being filtered by plumbing doesn’t mean you’re going to be equally attracted to all genders. Cheaters are cheaters and orientation has nothing to do with it. Either someone honors the commitments they make or they don’t. In my personal view, having some curiosity and interacting with the same sex doesn’t make you bi or gay. It’s just you trying to figure out what you like, and you shouldn’t feel shame for trying to understand yourself better. We’re all confused, not just the bisexuals. I would say that the only thing bisexuals don’t want you to know is that they’re bisexual. Not for the shame of it, but for the latent homophobia that exists in others that they don’t always notice. The number of stores I’ve heard from my brothers that girls broke up with them because they think they’re really just closeted gays and in reverse plenty of gay males have broken up with bi men because they don’t think they’re really gay. Thank you for reading my ted talk :P and keep doing the good work, just work on that phrasing.
I hear you. Ive been curious about women at times (only physically,) but I havent acted on it because, I realuzed later, that might hurt my gay identity and make me feel less gay, which, frankly, low key terrifies me. Because we live in a normed world ? Not only heteromormative. I just realized i felt like adding "only physically" which is true, but i could have left it out. So there you go. I dont want people to tell me, or think that, Im not gay. I wouldnt be offended to be called bi, or even straight, most people i admire are bi or straight... it's more in the negative: I don't want to *not* be gay.
That is really interesting. I've spent many many years on gay/bi forums/media and I've noticed a kind of antagonistic aspect in some of the men's orientation toward women. It can be puzzling since women haven't subjected them to the rampant disrespect lesbians suffer from men. Namely of the "Can I get up in that sandwich?!" type. Erasing their sexuality, trying to own it. Filmmakers writing fake lesbians who ultimately just need some 'vitamin D.' ... I assume partly it's gay men's complicated relationship with femininity. Having the sexuality generally associated with women, and sometimes other traits associated with women, in a society that kind of despises women. Dare I suggest an element of self-hatred? But I get that you're not avoiding attraction to women out of your own negative ideas of them, but rather the negative ideas others might have about you? That you're 'turning in your card.' Or caving to heteonormative pressure. It shows how 'gayness' as a concept is invested in defining itself by what it's not. "I'm 100%!" I'm not sure I buy that anyone is 100% anything, since life is a spectrum and we're all made of the same stuff. There aren't hard fast rules, even if the religious think so. Good scientists accept uncertainty and the existence of that which can't be seen or measured. I think we easily forget that creating a category "homosexual" was done with the express purpose of stigmatizing a 'devilish disorder.' Criminalizing 'sodomitical' practices. Creating another scapegoat for the public to vent their angst upon and forget their real problems caused by the powerful. "Witches" and homosexuals were burned or hanged together in the hundreds of thousands in Europe.
The red nail polish is over the top. It’s very distracting. I can’t imagine why a guy would want to wear red nail polish. Of course to me any nail polish is not necessary. It’s too weird.
It’s funny how something as simple as nail varnish can bring up such strong feelings isn’t it? I wear it because I love bright colours and it makes me feel really happy when I look at it. I’m also autistic and we are often known for enjoying bright colours and not necessarily understanding societal constructs around gender and sexuality. Why wouldn’t a guy like to have nice colourful nails? Did you think of it this way round? Why wouldn’t it be a nice, joyous thing? Why all the rules? Hopefully that helps. Thanks for watching and being here. Sending best wishes. Mark ❤️
Actually not always. 6 months after the death of a parent can be a shaky emotional time and if not prepared dumb irrational things will occur. Cheating can be one of them. Serial cheating is a horse of an entirely different nature and would seem to have its origin in repressed aversion to monogamy or some other issue.
@@PhilipWeisman-dl4ik going through a shaky emotional time doesnt erase that you made a choice in that moment. That is often the context that cheating happens in: someone is going through a hard time, is unhappy, vulnerable, wants attention, support etc. making a choice you regret doesnt mean you didnt make that choice.
And where does FORGIVENESS come into play, since people are fallible? Or, how about the relationship is over but 6-9 months later you are friends the rest of your lives? Happened to me, until their death from blood cancer
@@notdefininga guy wearing nail polish always looks to me like an old woman's hands. Old women's nails are too brittle to grow long nails or get nail extensions, so it's short nails with nail polish.
It's their . It's their choice. If they are gay and want to identify as bi; so be it. It's none of my business. I meet men who I see as truly bi and, I meet those who I see as obviously gay. It's still not my place to tell them how to feel, or how to live.
@@crazylizze98 yes it does matter. Wouldnt ppl of the same hopes, wants, issues etc be better off together as they know more about themselves than others who don't know. Why you think so many people still date their own race/culture more than mix
Can't speak for other bi folks, but most cannot be upfront about it. Bisexuality is an affront to monogamy. How can anyone trust a partner to remain faithful if there's a chance they'll be drawn to the other gender. A while back, I read about a hetero couple who unknowingly were each bi.
@@carlorizzo827 why would that make a difference? a man can still cheat on his wife and a woman can cheat on her husband. May it be with the same or opposite sex.
I've come across plenty of bisexual men hooking up with each other. What offends me is the gay community never really coping with bi men. It's as if they're always asserting bi men are really gay but not having the guts to admit it.
If it's hard for bisexual men to get girls, when the vast majority of girls are interested in guys, think how hard it is for bisexual women who have to find someone who is both interested in women and aloso not alrteady in a relationship..... So please think about that before you judge Bi ladies for having had so much more success with guys. Thank you!!
Why is there such an emphasis on labels? There is no need to conform to a definition. In my many years as a therapist I've seen too many guys who are too focused on meeting some sort of definition in order to feel comfortable with themselves. Many men who are not gay have sex with other men. I think there are two reasons for this. One is the sheer ease with which man are aroused and have sex instantly. Women take time and have more preconditions for having sex. Men can become aroused and have sex very easily. Men know what feels good to another man and can rely on this for quick pleasure. Many straight men who are in sexless marriages consciously turn to gay men for sexual relief. The other reason for so many men having sex with other men, is our shared love of the penis. Every man loves his penis, its a great source of pleasure from age 10 to 80. Men are also interested in other men's penises, they want to see them, compare them and it is very arousing. I've worked with many straight men who love their wives, are attracted to women, but have sex with men because its easy and uncomplicated. Often they don't consider it cheating to have sex with a man. Mt two cents.
I disagree about the adult content. I think it revels your unconscious desires, its a moment you are alone without other judgments. After reading a lot the bi sub on reddit, I found a pattern. Bi men in relationship with women like to watch mlm contet because it not what he have in the moment, while when they are dating othe men they watch more content with women. Straight women watching lesbian content in other hand, probably just mean she want to be in focus of pleasure.
You have kind of made my point in a way though. Adult content a lot of the time is about what you aren’t able to get in the real world. So watching mlm doesn’t mean you are more attracted to men in reality, it may just mean it’s a fantasy of what you don’t have access to in that moment of your life. Do you see? There is a lot with this type of thing and it’s more complex than we think but yeah. Women watching women is often yes about the centring of the woman’s pleasure but it’s also because a huge number of women are bisexual. But it starts to get complex when we break things down further.
I have question shoud i do about my worry Their is girl call Nicola i know used to go to high school with her brother will my worry that She date girl and she was in relationship with girl and i have always wonder if she fancy me and and if Nicola would try kiss me only will problem is i am questioning myself sill knowing i like and attached to both boys and girls. One big worry i had deal with something in my old work place for people special needs and autism and learning disabilities i fancy staff member who is lesbian call Rachel my mum was questioning me about ask if was lesbian i stay no i am not and i did fancy women i stay no mum it turn to augment over it so i dont it happen a again with Nicola i really dont know if she lesbian or bisexual or just interested in just boys and way nicola was being with me but she whats to see me but i know she got some some crush on me and i could total wrong but that how i feel.problem is Nicola date girl in past i always feel that she got crush on me for she whating to see me i dont if she lesbian or bisexual or not and my mum would question me if i would kiss girl . i never see kiss girl before only boy wasn't snogging it one kiss on lips that all What should i do
That’s okay. It’s alright to feel confused or have mixed feelings. I would recommend talking openly with Nicola. Nothing that is truthful and kind is ever wrong.
I think when you paint your nails pink you have long since crossed the bisexual/gay spectrum into something beyond. Most bisexual and gay men do not paint their nails and certainly not in pink. LOL
this is sexism, oppositional sexism (men only do this and women only do that). if someones sexuality or gender completely changes to you if they paint their nails, the problem lies in you.
It wasn’t actually ever thus if you look at the research on bisexuality and homosexuality in men. It was ever thus that society placed that stereotype on us.
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As a bisexual woman, this is fascinating. I feel such compassion for my beautiful bi boys who are confused and feel like they need to keep these anxieties inside. You're seen, I will listen.
For my bisexual story today, I'm just going to give you a little kiss right on the top of your head, and now we've made a little bisexual story to share. It's not about me today, I think we should all show bi men lots of love.
Of all the thousands of comments I read this is one of my favourite ever. Wow thank you. This touched my heart.
@@notdefiningI hope you and all bi men feel a little more loved today
Being an older Gay Man I have one opinion I feel I must be stated here If someone identifies as Bi-sexual as a gay man it is my RESPONSABILITY to allow them to think or feel that way. Their motivations, fears, and desires are frankly none of My business. It is impossible to fix someone and to do so without being asked is an invasion of someone's personal space and is quite frankly a manipulation on our part please let other people be who they are or prefer to identify as.
That is an excellent point. I typically don’t label myself as bi especially within the gay community because in my experience there are a large number of people who don’t believe in male bisexuality and if I’m trying to get laid I’m not interested in getting into an argument. Im 50 and hope the joke bi now gay later will go away forever. I don’t have any idea what some people think is proof of being bi for a man since having sex with men or women doesn’t seem to matter and some other people seem to want a perfect partner ratio of 50/50 and then there are those people who think that if a man has had 1 sexual encounter with a man they must be gay 😂
Thank you. Well said. I appreciate that.
I bet a lot of the confusion would go away if we stopped labelling people's sexuality, and just accepted that we are attracted to who we're attacted to, and leave it at that.
@dmnemaine This is a BS cop out response to 1) being a coward as to who you are in groups, and 2) you want unlimited public approval while privately enjoying anti-social behaviors. The test is : when there is a referendum or new law, will you go into the voting booth and support pro-gay legislation, anti-gender bias or making sexual orientation a non-issue for job dismissal?? When everyone has equality under the law THEN you can be unlabelled. Until then, vote with your feelings and allegiances and not with the herd of sheep you live with.
Amen
Yes
You are absolutely correct. I love you for saying it.❤
@@markbeausejour7551Is that a prayer?
I was waiting for the masculine one because that is definitely my biggest worry as a bi man. I love my sexually but I do fear that people put it in front of my masculinity. They may assume that I am not manly enough because of my being bi. I also like to embrace my feminine side and when I do I worry about being or appearing masculine enough. I fear that this will limit my dating options in the future with women if I were to ever find myself single again. Great video!
Hey thank you so much for sharing. I hear you my friend. Massive respect for moving through this fear in your own way.
There are no other bisexuals who u can connect with & yall will fully understand each othet !?
@@bigthangz5489Sadly, no. Different for everyone
But why you assume being gay must have a feminine side...
Jamie, don't worry about not being man enough. You are. It's pervasive in Western society to emphasize a small set of unfortunate attributes as being truly manly. Strong, unfazed, stoic, emotionally unavailable, possessive, jealous, violent. It is a poisonous cocktail of mostly unwanted things that is thrust upon us. Being a man is so much more than being an uncaring brute. It's absolutely toxic that men are chastised for having a soft, caring and nurturing side. Just embrace your whole being. If some people then proceed to label you less than a man, that is their problem and you are better off without them. It's up to us to reject the man box. It only has power as long as we all accept it as the inevitable truth, which this horrible thing absolutely is not.
I laughed to myself at the end when he said, "Bye for now" - I thought it sounds like "BI FOR NOW!!" ☺
Haha. I love to make that little nod! Glad you spotted it.
I've also noticed bisexual men identifying as straight
Statistically most bisexual men identify as straight. It’s actually known.
@@notdefining But of course Its an oxymoron...Its impossible.
This is a fantastic video-I’ve watched it twice! Your delivery is clear, thoughtful, and engaging.
I’ve always been mystified by society’s preoccupation with sexuality. It’s not just about saying it’s nobody’s business; it’s the sheer weight people place on it that puzzles me. Human sexuality, like eye color, skin tone, or hair type, is part of the natural diversity of humanity. Yet, society continues to fixate, judge, and harbor negativity and bigotry around it.
Your video sheds light on this issue with such clarity, helping me better understand the experiences of bisexual people. It’s given me valuable insight, making me more aware, sensitive, and supportive.
Thank you so much-I’m excited to explore more of your work. Best wishes, Lyndon Smith
Thank you very much for your clip posted here. I have a son who is bisexual and am a minister who has bisexuals in my parish and appreciate the insight. I work to provide an inclusive and environment for ALL my parish to grow and believe in supporting the person God has made.
You are awesome for saying this. I think most people live in fear of being rejected if they express who they really are. It is confusing and it takes a huge toll on your well-being. We can't blame ourselves for it either, but we can learn to accept our many differences and maybe we can then accept everyone else. If you think about it, love always wins. Start with yourself.
Well said! Thank you so much.
I’ve got a bisexual friend who said it’s easier to get with guys, he loves women but occasionally likes a guy for a naughty easy time, I’ve been with him a few times in the past like a bro helping another one out, I’m not in love with him.
He’s got a gf now so we don’t do anything but still friends
of course it is easier, we are men. What a bullshit cop out supplied by the snakes we call bi men
Hey thanks for sharing. That sounds like a nice chilled connection.
Omg it’s so confusing, I’m gay and I’m sorry to say but I had some of the prejudices mentioned here about bisexuality… I am sorry and thank you for opening my eyes to how confusing it can be for you
Wishing you all the best ❤
@martywolf2011 l relate to exactly what say. Been there, and done that and thought l was an open accepting person and there was no forums or manifestos for bisexuals who were making things up as they went along. Or not. This site has opened up my eyes so much to narrow common prejudice traps of thinking. But life is a long journey of discoveries and reexaminations.
Hey thank you so much for tuning in and learning. I really appreciate it. Thanks for understanding. ❤️
Hello from Australia. I'm a straight heterosexual woman , also a Psychotherapist and Relationship Counsellor. I wanted to hear your presentation. I married a man ( now my ex spouse) who after some
years came out as a transgender
woman who is also bisexuality, with
preferences for women but will also go with men. In the 6 years between then and now, I was confronted with so much , both personally and professionally. The things you point out here about bisexuality. And Gender, in general.
Cheating? It can be very subjective as to what constitutes real
" cheating", and what doesn't! How it can be spun around, very intellectual, very tricky, and very disguised. You say around 35% of people. I'll say around 50%, and most of the other 50% seriously consider it, but don't do it because of the consequences, to themselves. Men who cover it up in themselves? Definitely. Why? Because it takes enormous courage to come out, and human beings are so harshly judgemental . No one in my ex's family tribe wants anything to do with her now. For over 3 years. No contact of any kind , from any of them, with her. To them, she no longer exists.
Hey thank you so much for sharing your experience. It sounds like you both went through a lot. Sending warm wishes and gratitude for sharing your perspectives with us.
I am going to go out on a limb and expand your comment that 'some bisexual people are confused.' I agree, but I think you could make a similar assertion about straight people and gay people. I say that because human sexual attraction is at times confusing and does not proceed in a predetermined direction or orderly fashion for everyone. For example, I was married after high school to my HS girlfriend. We were together a total 9 years, most of them happy. After divorce, I had my first gay male encounter with a male friend, which led to us living together for a decade. I consider myself gay, so I was greatly shocked when I later fell hard for a female. Or when I have sex dreams about women. It is very confusing at times, although I consider myself gay.
I have never been promiscuous, possibly due to my conservative upbringing and religious indoctrination (e.g., I never cheated on my wife or my male partner, nor did I ever really want to). I've only ever had sex with 1 woman, and fewer than 10 men. But easily half of those men would call themselves straight (possibly WAY too scared to say they were bi?). One of those straight men and I were more akin to 'acquaintances with benefits,' so when he told me he had fallen in love with me, I was flabbergasted (and ended it because I was not remotely feeling the same toward him).
Thank you for sharing this. I'm straight, but you've answered my questions, which someone I know, who is bi-sexual.
Hey thanks for tuning in. I’m so glad this was helpful.
You mentioned that studies show cheating is in fact *less* prevalent among bisexuals in monogamous relationships. Do you have any references to recommend? As a non-cheating bisexual man, it would be nice to see some empirical evidence that disproves the popular narrative.
Diamond, L. M. (2008). Female bisexuality from adolescence to adulthood: Results from a 10-year longitudinal study. Developmental Psychology, 44, 5-14.
Spalding, L. R., & Peplau, L. A. (1997). The unfaithful lover: heterosexuals’ perceptions of bisexuals and their relationships. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 21, 611-625.
McLean, K. (2004). Negotiating (non) monogamy: Bisexuality and intimate relationships. Journal of Bisexuality, 4, 83-97.
I love you brother. You are the voice of bi people. Stay safe
Ah thank you so much. Sending big love to you too 🩷💜💙
I am glad you are taking on this topic as it is really needed. I think what I have the biggest fear about is I really feel like whatever you are trying to figure out about yourself that integrity & consideration for the feelings of others is a value that quite honestly is not a common value in our societies no matter what sexuality we are talking about. Children can often mask or smooth over these problems but it really doesn't ever get dealt with and addressed in all our identifies overall. It is in many ways the kernel of the problem upon which so many other elements of sexuality & identity rest upon. The biggest problem I have with relationships in general and you brought this up at about 9 mins or so is the cheating issue. But the whole cheating thing was kind of glossed over in that it isn't "good" but we never really talk about why this is so. It is really difficult to talk about male dynamics and sexuality without talking about patriarchal beliefs, values and the emotional numbing that often accompanies this dynamic. Patriarchy is a part of everyone to some degree as it is very much still a central theme in the development of the identity. What is problematic about patriarchy and people is people will seldom do the needed work to understand how much of their sexual identity or not is rooted in patriarchy. And this does not just affect men but this is also an internalized patriarchal problem with women as well. Having said all of this I think in terms of who I get with it is less about their sexuality and more about how much they have explored, done the work & understand the affects of patriarchy in their own lives and thus how this plays out in their values around how they operate, how they connect or not with others and how this impacts how their values and how they move through their worlds with others. Personally I do not believe I would feel comfortable dating a bisexual individual because there is a concern for me about my own emotional safety. Let me explain. Bisexual men often can put up a straight, believable front of that is derived from patriarchal beliefs about the self and others that does not require any need to present their authentic self, whatever that may be, and instead hide behind the patriarchal shield of straight acting. That's not to say that this is true with all sexual relationships & you are quite right to point out that cheating happens regardless of sexual identity. But the risk to my own emotional well-being is greater because many bisexual men, and straight acting men in general as well as straight men value how a situation appears to others more than who they truly are. There is no other better example of this at a microcosm than in manly sports, fraternities and other traditionally male identified areas. I know many men who will be married to a woman and if given the chance will have sex with another man so long as know one finds out about it. The truth is not valued as much as the appearance of that person to others in their society. And the gift of someone else's body is rarely valued outside of the orgasm and/or brief intimacy that it provides. Many gay men who cannot pass as straight acting do not have this buffer and so they are often forced into hard truths about how they treat others because they don't have the patriarchal, straight appearing circles, often including their families, their religion and their own "identities" to shield them from their choices. There identities are for all intents and purpose are more exposed and thus they do not have the patriarchal shield as readily available to them to buffer their authentic selves from themselves and from others So the reason I am much more hesitant to be involved with a bisexual man is that it is almost never clear even to the individual how much of their authentic self actually translates into their behaviors, values, relationships, etc.... Patriarchy serves as a shield that a given percentage of straight acting, straight or bisexual mean have that allows them to hide from or not deal with their sexuality, even from themselves, as they can be accepted and covert in one group and then walk into another group like Grindr, adult bookstores, etc.. and get their sexual needs met when it suits them. I have experienced ALOT of men who have sex with me (often times very selfishly and self-centered aka patriarchy) then as soon as they get their needs met they not only don't care about my needs in any way, shape or form, but emotionally wall themselves off again by acting like what just happened didn't just happen and walk back into their "normal" heterosexual lives with absolutely no remorse or care about what they are doing to the person they just had sex with and also to the wife or girlfriend they go home to that almost NEVER knows about this other life. This is a real and robust pattern that continues to play out even today and adds yet another layer of potential complication that makes me feel incredibly insecure. Patriarchy is the main fuel that keeps this cycle of deception and self delusion that many men can spend their whole lives cycling through AND it only serves to maintain the "confusion" aka I don't have to really deal with myself or how I view others as objects only present as it relates to getting my needs met. This has basically resulted in my refusing to be involved with men period. And it is sad to say but true that MANY gay men will allow themselves to be treated poorly as in their hearts they do not believe they are worth more than that (internalized homophobia). And many gay men will condone these facades so long as they get their sexual needs met. So in short this is not just a sexuality problem, but it also a patriarchal problem and so long as that shield continues to exist as an easy out for men, well, then I imagine there is absolutely no real benefit to being honest with yourself about who you are or honest with others. My motto is, you are never going to have a ghost of a chance at knowing who you authentically are until you are 100% okay with whatever that happens to turn out to be." And the benefits of patriarchy often times outweigh the benefits of being your authentic self & treating others with the dignity and respect that we all deserve to have no matter what our sexuality. All the rest is smoke and mirrors fueled by the miasma and endless well that allegiance to patriarchy affords the user.
On point one - I'm a gay man, and I probably fully came out around age 19 or so. (It's been a LONG time(!), hence my uncertainty about the exact date.) In my late teens, I identified as bi for exactly the reason you describe - I was far more comfortable identifying in that way. I can totally understand how people who are genuinely bi could be hurt and/or offended by that, but really I think the blame lies with the heterosexism (blythe unjustified assumption that everyone is straight until evidence is provided to the contrary), which leaves gay men like myself (and I would presume lesbians also) feeling in some sense morally obliged to keep some kind of contact with a straight identity due to social pressure. In my case, it didn't last very long, and once I properly came out I never looked back. I have always been immensely supportive of my bi brothers and sisters, against both homo/biphobia in wider society and against the biphobia internal to the gay/lesbian section of society, and will always do so. I'm sorry if our 'passing through' your community causes you any problems, both regarding external perceptions and psychologically, but I hope you can understand that this isn't, in most cases, meant to be disrespectful or exploitative, but is just a coping strategy for gay men and lesbians in difficulty either with accepting themselves or with being able to state that identity in the wider word. Much love and peace to my bi brothers and sisters.
I've known a lot of many kinds of people and have never had prejudices regarding bi men because I've always had to take it on faith that bisexual men exist.
Hey thanks for not being prejudice. We appreciate it. You don’t have to take it on faith, as there is endless unquestionably comprehensive scientific research which proves beyond any doubt whatsoever that bisexuality exists and is highly common in humans and all other species. So yay! 🙌
GLAD your videos are getting more views !
Hey thanks so much.
Wow! Thank you for sharing! I’m 65 years old and have struggled all my life with this…you touched on all my concerns (Spot On). So good to hear I’m not totally crazy. Thank you so much.
Very interesting video. I have always been bi and been married to women twice, the second one being a lesbian. I ultimately chose to identify as gay and have been with my partner in an open relationship for 34 years (topic for another time). I recognized many of the issues you have brought up but mostly objectively. My up-bringing was very different as I was a stage performer from the age of 15 and my sexuality was already in full bloom. If it was fuckable, I was interested! This provide myriad experiences from ALL parts of the spectrum and were all instrumental in coming to my ulitmate preference. I have had the argument with other gay men about whether or not, being gay is only about sexual attraction. I say it is... just like being straight is about sexual attraction! It is the defining factor. You are correct about the various reasons many "bi-identified" men are confused or in denial. I come across this a lot in the gay community. I have also discovered that one reason some men "cheat" on their wives by getting blowjobs from men, is because wives generally don't like to swallow! I apologise for being crass but I have had many married men tell me this. You are also correct about cheating. The reason my partner and I are still together is because we never promised fidelity to one another. Monogamy is not in our repertoire but that is not to say I don't believe it is achievable. I just think monogamy isk something that simply happens when both partners have no desire for any other. I don't think it is a healthy thing to commit to, if that is not the case. I also definitely don't subscribe to the notion of "jealousy". It is pointless and self-destructive. I am grateful that I never had to go through many of the Bi-sexual issues you outlined here but I can empathize with those who do and will always encourage them to speak more about their situations with a friend or counsellor. My ear is always available too. Thanks again for addressing this.
As a Bi wom myself, I absolutely relate to the confusion that comes with being bi, however I feel less confused once I understood I was bi and not straight with unexplicable feelings for other women sometimes. And Yes ! It's easier to get with guys, than it is to be with women ... And I've mostly dated women, even with that experience I understand that.
Thank you for your vid !
I love my Bi Men so much 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍.
Just be happy and be grateful you are loved and love back ❤️
A solid point
Thank you for your explanation, it is really helpful. I also love your no-judgemental perspective.
Thanks for watching!
Thank you, these were exactly what I needed to hear
Ah thanks I’m so glad it was helpful.
I respect your honesty. The thing about Fidelity in a relationship: it seems artificial and often goes against nature....and social conditioning has conditioned people to feel that its against the rule...to the extent that if it happens MURDERING love is the answer....IT IS NOT!! killing love for another human being just because of that is incredibly cruel and stupid.
I used to all what people call cheating to make me feel badly. Once I realized why it happens; I'm not concerned about it anymore. I've been single now for several years. I'm even less concerned about it now. I hope I've been helpful in some way. I know there are still a lot bi guys who struggle with their feelings about this.
I love your first inconvenient truth! This needed to be said. These labels are not great except to help us understand our preferences and relate to others. As it is all about sexual preferences I think people are making more of us confused. For instance a gay man is not a man that can’t have sex with women and enjoy it.
Happy New Year! 🎉
Continue to be awesome and kind (and a champion for Miley Cyrus haha)!
Haha heeeey happy new year to you too my friend. Another year over, another year of pining after Miley Cyrus about to begin. 😂
To many people think that BI is 50/50, but it is not, like other things it is on a spectrum. You can be a Gay-Leaning BI, or you can be a Straight-Leaning BI. It is not a Line, it is a spectrum. Also, who you Do is not necessarily who you Are.
I think people need to be honest about their intentions in relationships. If your nature is to not be monogamous, don't make a monogamous commitment. If it's your nature to mess around with other people, be up front about it. Then you can set realistic boundaries. My partner of nine years told me on our first date that has no intention of being monogamous. I found the honesty refreshing. I had previously been in a monogamous relationship with someone who slept around a lot, and lied about it. The lying was the most hurtful part to me.
As a bi male myself I feel this video does more to just continue the stereotypes around bisexuals then it does try and help remove that. Like I wouldn’t have started out calling most of us confused, when that is the traditional bi erasure statement. Like I’d be curious on the statistics for this video for when the average person is leaving the video, if that was the only point they saw then it was a failure. Sexuality is a journey and the only thing that makes it ‘confusing’ is trying to apply others standards or expectations to yourself when they don’t apply. Which is why I liked your way of saying, “it’s your own unique version of masculinity”. The rest really just wasn’t specific to being bi… Just because someone is straight, doesn’t me they want to have sex with everyone of the opposite sex. So when your potential pool of options isn’t being filtered by plumbing doesn’t mean you’re going to be equally attracted to all genders. Cheaters are cheaters and orientation has nothing to do with it. Either someone honors the commitments they make or they don’t.
In my personal view, having some curiosity and interacting with the same sex doesn’t make you bi or gay. It’s just you trying to figure out what you like, and you shouldn’t feel shame for trying to understand yourself better. We’re all confused, not just the bisexuals. I would say that the only thing bisexuals don’t want you to know is that they’re bisexual. Not for the shame of it, but for the latent homophobia that exists in others that they don’t always notice. The number of stores I’ve heard from my brothers that girls broke up with them because they think they’re really just closeted gays and in reverse plenty of gay males have broken up with bi men because they don’t think they’re really gay. Thank you for reading my ted talk :P and keep doing the good work, just work on that phrasing.
I hear you. Ive been curious about women at times (only physically,) but I havent acted on it because, I realuzed later, that might hurt my gay identity and make me feel less gay, which, frankly, low key terrifies me. Because we live in a normed world ? Not only heteromormative. I just realized i felt like adding "only physically" which is true, but i could have left it out. So there you go. I dont want people to tell me, or think that, Im not gay. I wouldnt be offended to be called bi, or even straight, most people i admire are bi or straight... it's more in the negative: I don't want to *not* be gay.
That is really interesting. I've spent many many years on gay/bi forums/media and I've noticed a kind of antagonistic aspect in some of the men's orientation toward women. It can be puzzling since women haven't subjected them to the rampant disrespect lesbians suffer from men. Namely of the "Can I get up in that sandwich?!" type. Erasing their sexuality, trying to own it. Filmmakers writing fake lesbians who ultimately just need some 'vitamin D.' ... I assume partly it's gay men's complicated relationship with femininity. Having the sexuality generally associated with women, and sometimes other traits associated with women, in a society that kind of despises women. Dare I suggest an element of self-hatred?
But I get that you're not avoiding attraction to women out of your own negative ideas of them, but rather the negative ideas others might have about you? That you're 'turning in your card.' Or caving to heteonormative pressure. It shows how 'gayness' as a concept is invested in defining itself by what it's not. "I'm 100%!" I'm not sure I buy that anyone is 100% anything, since life is a spectrum and we're all made of the same stuff. There aren't hard fast rules, even if the religious think so. Good scientists accept uncertainty and the existence of that which can't be seen or measured.
I think we easily forget that creating a category "homosexual" was done with the express purpose of stigmatizing a 'devilish disorder.' Criminalizing 'sodomitical' practices. Creating another scapegoat for the public to vent their angst upon and forget their real problems caused by the powerful. "Witches" and homosexuals were burned or hanged together in the hundreds of thousands in Europe.
The red nail polish is over the top. It’s very distracting. I can’t imagine why a guy would want to wear red nail polish. Of course to me any nail polish is not necessary. It’s too weird.
It’s funny how something as simple as nail varnish can bring up such strong feelings isn’t it? I wear it because I love bright colours and it makes me feel really happy when I look at it. I’m also autistic and we are often known for enjoying bright colours and not necessarily understanding societal constructs around gender and sexuality. Why wouldn’t a guy like to have nice colourful nails? Did you think of it this way round? Why wouldn’t it be a nice, joyous thing? Why all the rules? Hopefully that helps. Thanks for watching and being here. Sending best wishes. Mark ❤️
I tend to watch male on male adult content, but I do like the hetero content as well. Besides, I'm attracted to both, so why not?😂
spot on man. When I'm with women, I hunger for another male. When I'm with men, I think about sex with women.
Cheating is always a choice.
Agreed. Anyone who says otherwise... Well, they're a cheater. 🥴
Actually not always. 6 months after the death of a parent can be a shaky emotional time and if not prepared dumb irrational things will occur. Cheating can be one of them. Serial cheating is a horse of an entirely different nature and would seem to have its origin in repressed aversion to monogamy or some other issue.
@@PhilipWeisman-dl4ik going through a shaky emotional time doesnt erase that you made a choice in that moment. That is often the context that cheating happens in: someone is going through a hard time, is unhappy, vulnerable, wants attention, support etc. making a choice you regret doesnt mean you didnt make that choice.
And where does FORGIVENESS come into play, since people are fallible? Or, how about the relationship is over but 6-9 months later you are friends the rest of your lives? Happened to me, until their death from blood cancer
You are right, I loved this video ,I’m not bi but I think that bi men have hard life because of those stereotypes.
Love ur nail polish :)
Ah thanks so much. Some wild people wrote comments slagging it off. Haha. lol.
@@notdefininga guy wearing nail polish always looks to me like an old woman's hands. Old women's nails are too brittle to grow long nails or get nail extensions, so it's short nails with nail polish.
@@notdefining I think it looks great. More guys should be brave enough to wear it. Keep rocking it!!!!
great content!
It's their . It's their choice. If they are gay and want to identify as bi; so be it. It's none of my business. I meet men who I see as truly bi and, I meet those who I see as obviously gay. It's still not my place to tell them how to feel, or how to live.
What you shouldn't is not what you must do everytime 😉
I think you should study the Kingsley report and Shere Hite's research. You might think it's outdated but does explain diversity.
It's difficult finding a male partner
Why have i never come across 2 bisexuals dating each other ???
Does it matter?
@@crazylizze98 yes it does matter. Wouldnt ppl of the same hopes, wants, issues etc be better off together as they know more about themselves than others who don't know. Why you think so many people still date their own race/culture more than mix
Can't speak for other bi folks, but most cannot be upfront about it. Bisexuality is an affront to monogamy. How can anyone trust a partner to remain faithful if there's a chance they'll be drawn to the other gender. A while back, I read about a hetero couple who unknowingly were each bi.
@@carlorizzo827 why would that make a difference? a man can still cheat on his wife and a woman can cheat on her husband. May it be with the same or opposite sex.
I've come across plenty of bisexual men hooking up with each other. What offends me is the gay community never really coping with bi men. It's as if they're always asserting bi men are really gay but not having the guts to admit it.
If it's hard for bisexual men to get girls, when the vast majority of girls are interested in guys, think how hard it is for bisexual women who have to find someone who is both interested in women and aloso not alrteady in a relationship.....
So please think about that before you judge Bi ladies for having had so much more success with guys.
Thank you!!
Etwas schönes wenn man es genießen kann und ehrlich ist
Oh and why is it possible that i like or attracted to bi guys??? Thanks again ❤
Nails, lit.
Omg thank you so much.
Awww, you’re welcome. Do you ever do black polish?
I title what you are saying here as THE ALGORITHM OF LUST. Would you agree that's that is a possibility?
Why is there such an emphasis on labels? There is no need to conform to a definition. In my many years as a therapist I've seen too many guys who are too focused on meeting some sort of definition in order to feel comfortable with themselves. Many men who are not gay have sex with other men. I think there are two reasons for this. One is the sheer ease with which man are aroused and have sex instantly. Women take time and have more preconditions for having sex. Men can become aroused and have sex very easily. Men know what feels good to another man and can rely on this for quick pleasure. Many straight men who are in sexless marriages consciously turn to gay men for sexual relief. The other reason for so many men having sex with other men, is our shared love of the penis. Every man loves his penis, its a great source of pleasure from age 10 to 80. Men are also interested in other men's penises, they want to see them, compare them and it is very arousing. I've worked with many straight men who love their wives, are attracted to women, but have sex with men because its easy and uncomplicated. Often they don't consider it cheating to have sex with a man. Mt two cents.
I like to title what you are saying in this video THE ALGORITHM OF LUST. Would you agree?
I am bi
I disagree about the adult content. I think it revels your unconscious desires, its a moment you are alone without other judgments.
After reading a lot the bi sub on reddit, I found a pattern. Bi men in relationship with women like to watch mlm contet because it not what he have in the moment, while when they are dating othe men they watch more content with women.
Straight women watching lesbian content in other hand, probably just mean she want to be in focus of pleasure.
You have kind of made my point in a way though. Adult content a lot of the time is about what you aren’t able to get in the real world. So watching mlm doesn’t mean you are more attracted to men in reality, it may just mean it’s a fantasy of what you don’t have access to in that moment of your life. Do you see? There is a lot with this type of thing and it’s more complex than we think but yeah. Women watching women is often yes about the centring of the woman’s pleasure but it’s also because a huge number of women are bisexual. But it starts to get complex when we break things down further.
I have question shoud i do about my worry
Their is girl call Nicola i know used to go to high school with her brother will my worry that She date girl and she was in relationship with girl and i have
always wonder if she fancy me and and if Nicola would try kiss me only will problem is i am questioning myself sill knowing i like and attached to both boys and girls.
One big worry i had deal with something in my old work place for people special needs and autism and learning disabilities i fancy staff member who is lesbian call Rachel my mum was questioning me about ask if was lesbian i stay no i am not and i did fancy women i stay no mum it turn to augment over it so i dont it happen a again with Nicola
i really dont know if she lesbian or bisexual or just interested in just boys and way nicola was being with me but she whats to see me but i know she got some some crush on me and i could total wrong but that how i feel.problem is Nicola date girl in past i always feel that she got crush on me for she whating to see me i dont if she lesbian or bisexual or not and my mum would question me if i would kiss girl .
i never see kiss girl before only boy wasn't snogging it one kiss on lips that all
What should i do
I do have crush on nicola too i don't what come out as bisexual with my reasons for it
That’s okay. It’s alright to feel confused or have mixed feelings. I would recommend talking openly with Nicola. Nothing that is truthful and kind is ever wrong.
@notdefining what do i do about it
@notdefining i have austim i believe she has it too
@@notdefiningshe was in relationship with girl call Ellie it was on facebook she break up with her. What should think nicola single ever since
You're cute are you gay or bisexual? U look like straight but nails painted? U have good content and make good points ❤❤ ur cute anyway ❤❤❤
IL date one
So what are you trying to communicate by flashing the pink fingernails?
That I like pink fingernails! 😂
Red nails...really😂
It’s funny how something as simple as nail varnish can stir up a reaction in us isn’t it? They’re pink actually, shock horror! Even worse! 😂
Muito lindo
I think this means I’m handsome which is very kind thank you.
Lose the orange nail polish. Yech!
It’s funny how something as simple as nail polish can bring up such a strong emotional reaction, isn’t it? 😘
Whats with the painted nails! THere goes your credibility.
Yes good idea, base people’s credibility off whether they have colour on their nails. Solid policy. 🤣
I think when you paint your nails pink you have long since crossed the bisexual/gay spectrum into something beyond. Most bisexual and gay men do not paint their nails and certainly not in pink. LOL
My (frankly sensational) nail colour has nothing to do with my sexuality. It’s just something that makes me happy. Have a great day! 💕
this is sexism, oppositional sexism (men only do this and women only do that). if someones sexuality or gender completely changes to you if they paint their nails, the problem lies in you.
@@notdefining I think you have lovely hands and the polish just amplifies them! Draws attention to them. 😇
The pink nails were distracting. No need.
I feel the same way about your comment 🙃
Ha! Omg. This comment. 😂
Bi now, gay later. Twas ever thus.
It wasn’t actually ever thus if you look at the research on bisexuality and homosexuality in men. It was ever thus that society placed that stereotype on us.
Nice nails!
Thanks! 😊