Out of the many videos on vocation I've seen in life, this was the best. Thank you so much for this. I'm married and followed that vocation path without complete peace or assurance. As St. Therese said, my vocation is love. Just keep loving those in your life and you're on the right track.
I am elderly and single. I want to do Gods work, but don't know what He wants me to do. Have difficulty making decisions. Can't do anything except only by His grace. Pray for me Father for my inner peace.
You have no idea how much going to mass, praying for, and smiling and speaking kindly and encouragingly to young people is! It is an extremely important vocation.
I don't think God will punish me or be angry with me if I choose the "wrong" vocation. But I'm afraid I'll never be truly happy or feel peace until I figure out what God really wants for me, and then pursue that. I have changed careers several times and nothing ever feels right.
I was once a seminarian, since my teens I've felt called to something more, alas I entered the seminary but didn't stay. I felt called to something else, I felt to called to monastic life maybe because my spiritual director is a Benedictine. Now 8 years later I'm married and happy, but I can't help but feel maybe I should of tried the monastic life.
You have chosen that vocation. St Saint Ignatius would say, once you have made a choice, best to ask God to help you in that one you have chosen. Ask him to help you let everything else go, including doubt. Marriage is hard and you will need plenty of Grace for that alone. Best wishes 🙏🏻
Very good counsel! God sometimes asks us to choose our vocation because he wants it to be a free choice. Just like he asks us to choose to love Him or not. We have an awesome God, and it is a high grace for Jesus to ask you “You choose”. Trust in Him!
As my biological clock continues to remind me its almost too late.... I pray to our Lord and ask for a good Catholic husband and our own healthy and holy babies who grow up to love and serve the Lord! 💙 💜 💖
I just recently left the convent and I feel nothing but sorrow and regret. I left on a whim without properly asking God and I feel nothing guilt. There’s no way I can go back and it hurts so bad. I feel like I ruined my life and threw away something beautiful
This is one of the best videos I've ever seen in my life. Father, you nailed it. By asking those questions without the typical correction following the different images one can have of God, I was able to - for the first time in my life - admit that I see God a somebody who stresses me out with his exaggerated demands.
I am so thankful for this video. Up to this point, I felt guided by God as to where and in what monastery he wanted me in. I had always heard pretty much everyone say “I knew deep inside, it was the place for me” so I expected just that as I went to talk to the sisters. I didn’t feel that, in fact I kept asking myself “what am I doing?” This has let me to doubt what I have believed to be my vocation. I was praying to God and asking him to guide me to tell me his will so that I can better follow it. I pick up my phone with the sense that I would find my answer. I go to TH-cam and see your video. Thank you so much. I now understand that God is leaving it up to me. He loves me so much so he lets me choose.
Okay. This is most excellent. Someone should let this monk know that there is applause for him in his message herein at the other end of the camera. I have two sons of age (15 and 16 years old now) for such thought to be taken seriously, as this father provokes; clarifies, rather. So I play this series intentionally, to be overheard at night in the privacy of the minds at rest in their separate rooms down the hall, just before sleep overtakes us all. My husband, the boys' father just died; so this monk lets them see realistically, as a father would talk to a son, the process of "calling" discernment in a very healthy, frank, clear-as-Waterford way.
My prayers for your husband, I will remember him at Mass. Thank you for your comment and I am glad I can provide some support in their lives. --Fr. Etienne
Fr. Thank you for the video. I really hope to get a reply. For two years now I’ve been discerning my vocation and I finally made a decision to join the Dominican sisters in my country. I went for the interview and was selected to join them in January 2023. I also got selected to go for a teachers 6weeks program in the US in September the same year. I want to go for the program and I also want to join the Dominicans. I’m confused on what to do
I said yes to at least 2 out of 3 questions. The first I wasn’t sure I said yes to, but I know that I said no to it’s opposite. I think it may come from a life of being rejected by people, particularly those in authority, like bosses, and I’ve always hated feeling like I’ve disappointed my family. I’m so scared I am going to go to Heaven one day and God is going to be angry with me for not being a nun, but I don’t want to be a nun. There have been times where I have visited and thought, “It’s not as bad as I thought, and everyone here seems happy.” That being said, I have no desire and while I find it a beautiful vocation, I almost feel repulsed at the thought of it being for me. I’d feel resentment towards God for making me wear the same clothes every day, never allowing me to have a husband, never allowing me to have children. But there is still a part of me that says, “What if?” So what I do is, I don’t make a decision. I want to find a spiritual director to help me out. I don’t visit convents regularly. I secretly wait to “age out” of certain convents. I don’t even date, though, because I feel ashamed for doing this. I’m afraid even when I do age out, I’ll always wonder and I’ll feel guilty for not going to the convent because maybe that was my vocation and DEFINITELY guilty if I date after “aging out” because I am trying to reap the benefits of my disobedience. So, this makes me stay in a limbo land of sorts. I haven’t pursued either vocation in years. In fact, I’ve never even dated. Also, every time I think I have it all figured out, someone comes back with something along the lines of, “Jesus never wanted to die, but he said yes to God” or a person, without meaning any harm even know that I am deliberating this, will say, “Marriage is hard” or “I’m getting a divorce”. The most confusing advice is the one that says, “We are all called to holiness” to which I want to reply,”so how do you know if God wants you to say prayers all day long and help out the Church and the community and raise a family and make some time for God?” If you do not respond to anything else I write, can you at least tell me if the Devil tries to trick us into the wrong vocation or keeps us in a state of fear so we don’t try to pursue one or either vocation and how do I combat these negative thoughts? Thanks.
I thnink you need somebody intelligent and trustworthy to talk with. First of all you need to pray and ask what He really wants you to do. I lived almost the same experience and it's very very hard. I know. Don' t give up because it is the most important point of your life. God bless you, sister.
I’d say there is no “Wrong choice” in this matter. In the first Harry Potter entry, Harry puts on the magic hat, the hat that tells Harry what household he thinks he should be in at Wizard school. The Hat thinks Harry would excel in the Slytherin house, based on Harry’s particular powers and abilities. Harry begs the hat not to put him in Slytherin, even though the hat believes that Harry would be good in Slytherin based on his talents and abilities. All the same Harry begs the hat repeatedly to not place him in Slytherin. Harry simply does not desire to be placed there because of the mean kids in it. In spite of itself The hat honors Harry’s request even though he still believes Harry would excel in Slytherin. He then places Harry in another household where Harry does in fact excel and ultimately becomes a wizard. Harry still possessed the talents and special powers that would have made him excel in Slytherin, but regardless Harry finds a facility to use his powers for good in the household that he chose. It wasn’t a wrong chose, it was just a different path for him to becoming a wizard and defeat Voldemort at the end, which was the ultimate goal .A person’s abilities can be used for good in any number of ways, not just one household/outlet. Now am I saying that the Magic hat represents God? Yes and No. I’d say the part of the hat that wants to influence and recruit Harry to one specific earthly place based only on his talents and natural abilities regardless of his personal desires, represents society. But the part of the hat that represents one that honors and respects Harry’s personal free will, regardless of what people and society say we should do based only on our talent and eligibilities, that represents God.
Good video. I need a spiritual director. I felt a calling since my youth. So I went into the ministry as a Protestant and loved being a pastor and missionary. I did this for almost two decades then became Catholic about 8 years ago. Now I don’t know what to do and have been so frustrated. I still have my gifts and callings of God but being married couldn’t be a priest or monastic. I’d LOVE to be either one, but can’t. Though now we are separated…so I’m praying and discerning for what God wants from me next. It’s been so heartbreaking to leave ministry and the callings and pulling is still there all of my life. I hope I can one day get back to that place or something similar where God can use me in a greater way again. 😞 🙏
Hello, Father. Thank you for these videos, please keep them coming. It would be helpful if you could say a few words on the topic of having a motivation to religious life that is not 100% pure. For example, wanting to glorify/give thanks to God through growing towards holiness and love in a monastery, yes, but also some wish to withdraw from the responsibilities of the world. Should one pursue this vocation if one feels partly like this? Can the motivation purified through living the vocation? Does it make a difference if the bad motivation is much less significant than the good one? Sorry for such a long comment. I guess my question is does the motivation have to be totally pure? Thanks!
Hey, Pedro: I know you didn't ask me, but, I've served in two wars. I'm going to disagree with you. Your motivation is not necessarily impure. It might be the other way around! Your motivation might just be "totally pure"! You are very smart if you are looking out onto the world and want to run for it while you can! The responsibility of manhood though will not be shirked by joining the monastery -- the Benedictines work and cary the worries of the world out in prayer to help us all. You are not unlike Saint Benedict in your repulsion from the world.
Pedro, thank you for you comment. I will do a video on that topic. It's a good thing to reflect on. I will answer it in brief here. Rarely, because we are human, are our motivations always 100% pure. We strive for it, we desire it but we are sinful. I often tell people, I did not come to the monastery because I was perfect, it was precisely because I was not that I entered. We might consider our vocation to be, in part, the divine physician encountering the sick who need him. I hope this helps. --Fr. Etienne
I'm a 53 yr old unmarried man , no children. I feel God calling me to a vocation. (a brother perhaps) But recently I heard the term "consecrated single life." Can you shed some light on this please?
I am 57 and in the seminary. Your age isn't as big a factor as you may think. Talk to the Vocations Director in your diocese. Or if they don't take "older" men, there are plenty that do.
Hi father. I loved this video and was very helpful. However I have a question.... I feel called to religious life but there's some feeling of guilt there that sure shows lack of freedom and probably a wrong understanding of God. How can I distinguish the feeling of guilt that comes from fear of dissappointing God and choosing wrong for my life or the felling of "guilt" that comes from wanting to love God and be generous bc of His immense love but that I see myself so weak and loving myself and my will more than Him ?
@Gangari TheWanderer thanks! Took a screenshot of this super thorough response and will take it to prayer haha. Important to remind myself entering is STILL discernment! God bless
I know that this comment was three yrs ago, so I don't know where you're at right now, but if you see this, I would advise you to speak to a spiritual director. A few years ago I had some horrible misperceptions about my vocation, always feeling guilty and stressed about it. One thing that really helped me was coming to the understanding that negative thoughts, like guilt and lack of freedom, don't come from God but from the devil, who wants you to be unhappy and will twist anything - even something so God-centric as the religious life - away from God. A vocation should attract you as a joyful means of serving God, not as something you have to do lest you be shamed. Lastly, it does help to experience a lifestyle representing the vocation you're looking into, instead of just thinking about it. To become a nun you have to be first a postulant, then a novitiate, then enter into various degrees of profession, and you can opt out any time if you realize it's not your vocation. If you think you're called to marriage and motherhood, it's good to spend time with other families and perhaps babysit or teach. I hope this helps, God bless.
It doesn't matter what is going on in your life, God will keep calling you to that particular vocation. Please get a spiritual director. They are most helpful in discerning vocations.
Out of the many videos on vocation I've seen in life, this was the best. Thank you so much for this. I'm married and followed that vocation path without complete peace or assurance. As St. Therese said, my vocation is love. Just keep loving those in your life and you're on the right track.
I am elderly and single. I want to do Gods work, but don't know what He wants me to do. Have difficulty making decisions. Can't do anything except only by His grace. Pray for me Father for my inner peace.
God loves us.
@@stuffofmexx6077 you brainwashed deluded fool did you ever meet him maybe in the supermarket at the check out did he pay for you're groceries
You have no idea how much going to mass, praying for, and smiling and speaking kindly and encouragingly to young people is! It is an extremely important vocation.
God can do great things through anybody. Be open to his love, however that may be presented. I’m praying for you!
I don't think God will punish me or be angry with me if I choose the "wrong" vocation. But I'm afraid I'll never be truly happy or feel peace until I figure out what God really wants for me, and then pursue that.
I have changed careers several times and nothing ever feels right.
I was once a seminarian, since my teens I've felt called to something more, alas I entered the seminary but didn't stay. I felt called to something else, I felt to called to monastic life maybe because my spiritual director is a Benedictine. Now 8 years later I'm married and happy, but I can't help but feel maybe I should of tried the monastic life.
Pray, ask and listen to God and I say take ways of their life you want to include in your life.
You can be an oblate
You have chosen that vocation. St Saint Ignatius would say, once you have made a choice, best to ask God to help you in that one you have chosen. Ask him to help you let everything else go, including doubt. Marriage is hard and you will need plenty of Grace for that alone. Best wishes 🙏🏻
Very good counsel! God sometimes asks us to choose our vocation because he wants it to be a free choice. Just like he asks us to choose to love Him or not. We have an awesome God, and it is a high grace for Jesus to ask you “You choose”. Trust in Him!
As my biological clock continues to remind me its almost too late.... I pray to our Lord and ask for a good Catholic husband and our own healthy and holy babies who grow up to love and serve the Lord! 💙 💜 💖
I just Prayed for you
God Bless
Thank you! God bless you! 💙 💜
I just recently left the convent and I feel nothing but sorrow and regret. I left on a whim without properly asking God and I feel nothing guilt. There’s no way I can go back and it hurts so bad. I feel like I ruined my life and threw away something beautiful
Remember the Love of Father for his prodigal son , HE STILL LOVES YOU. May HOLY SPIRIT guide you.
You can re-enter or maybe try another one
You can try again. Find another convent.
This is one of the best videos I've ever seen in my life. Father, you nailed it. By asking those questions without the typical correction following the different images one can have of God, I was able to - for the first time in my life - admit that I see God a somebody who stresses me out with his exaggerated demands.
I am so thankful for this video. Up to this point, I felt guided by God as to where and in what monastery he wanted me in. I had always heard pretty much everyone say “I knew deep inside, it was the place for me” so I expected just that as I went to talk to the sisters. I didn’t feel that, in fact I kept asking myself “what am I doing?” This has let me to doubt what I have believed to be my vocation. I was praying to God and asking him to guide me to tell me his will so that I can better follow it. I pick up my phone with the sense that I would find my answer. I go to TH-cam and see your video. Thank you so much. I now understand that God is leaving it up to me. He loves me so much so he lets me choose.
Okay. This is most excellent. Someone should let this monk know that there is applause for him in his message herein at the other end of the camera. I have two sons of age (15 and 16 years old now) for such thought to be taken seriously, as this father provokes; clarifies, rather. So I play this series intentionally, to be overheard at night in the privacy of the minds at rest in their separate rooms down the hall, just before sleep overtakes us all. My husband, the boys' father just died; so this monk lets them see realistically, as a father would talk to a son, the process of "calling" discernment in a very healthy, frank, clear-as-Waterford way.
My prayers for your husband, I will remember him at Mass. Thank you for your comment and I am glad I can provide some support in their lives. --Fr. Etienne
I was just thinking about my vocation and this has been suggested to me. This video has touched me and helped me so much. Thank you. 🥺
Fr. Thank you for the video. I really hope to get a reply. For two years now I’ve been discerning my vocation and I finally made a decision to join the Dominican sisters in my country. I went for the interview and was selected to join them in January 2023. I also got selected to go for a teachers 6weeks program in the US in September the same year. I want to go for the program and I also want to join the Dominicans. I’m confused on what to do
Hi. What did you choose
I said yes to at least 2 out of 3 questions. The first I wasn’t sure I said yes to, but I know that I said no to it’s opposite. I think it may come from a life of being rejected by people, particularly those in authority, like bosses, and I’ve always hated feeling like I’ve disappointed my family. I’m so scared I am going to go to Heaven one day and God is going to be angry with me for not being a nun, but I don’t want to be a nun. There have been times where I have visited and thought, “It’s not as bad as I thought, and everyone here seems happy.” That being said, I have no desire and while I find it a beautiful vocation, I almost feel repulsed at the thought of it being for me. I’d feel resentment towards God for making me wear the same clothes every day, never allowing me to have a husband, never allowing me to have children. But there is still a part of me that says, “What if?” So what I do is, I don’t make a decision. I want to find a spiritual director to help me out. I don’t visit convents regularly. I secretly wait to “age out” of certain convents. I don’t even date, though, because I feel ashamed for doing this. I’m afraid even when I do age out, I’ll always wonder and I’ll feel guilty for not going to the convent because maybe that was my vocation and DEFINITELY guilty if I date after “aging out” because I am trying to reap the benefits of my disobedience. So, this makes me stay in a limbo land of sorts. I haven’t pursued either vocation in years. In fact, I’ve never even dated. Also, every time I think I have it all figured out, someone comes back with something along the lines of, “Jesus never wanted to die, but he said yes to God” or a person, without meaning any harm even know that I am deliberating this, will say, “Marriage is hard” or “I’m getting a divorce”. The most confusing advice is the one that says, “We are all called to holiness” to which I want to reply,”so how do you know if God wants you to say prayers all day long and help out the Church and the community and raise a family and make some time for God?” If you do not respond to anything else I write, can you at least tell me if the Devil tries to trick us into the wrong vocation or keeps us in a state of fear so we don’t try to pursue one or either vocation and how do I combat these negative thoughts? Thanks.
I thnink you need somebody intelligent and trustworthy to talk with. First of all you need to pray and ask what He really wants you to do. I lived almost the same experience and it's very very hard. I know. Don' t give up because it is the most important point of your life. God bless you, sister.
I’d say there is no “Wrong choice” in this matter. In the first Harry Potter entry, Harry puts on the magic hat, the hat that tells Harry what household he thinks he should be in at Wizard school. The Hat thinks Harry would excel in the Slytherin house, based on Harry’s particular powers and abilities. Harry begs the hat not to put him in Slytherin, even though the hat believes that Harry would be good in Slytherin based on his talents and abilities. All the same Harry begs the hat repeatedly to not place him in Slytherin. Harry simply does not desire to be placed there because of the mean kids in it. In spite of itself The hat honors Harry’s request even though he still believes Harry would excel in Slytherin. He then places Harry in another household where Harry does in fact excel and ultimately becomes a wizard. Harry still possessed the talents and special powers that would have made him excel in Slytherin, but regardless Harry finds a facility to use his powers for good in the household that he chose. It wasn’t a wrong chose, it was just a different path for him to becoming a wizard and defeat Voldemort at the end, which was the ultimate goal .A person’s abilities can be used for good in any number of ways, not just one household/outlet. Now am I saying that the Magic hat represents God? Yes and No. I’d say the part of the hat that wants to influence and recruit Harry to one specific earthly place based only on his talents and natural abilities regardless of his personal desires, represents society. But the part of the hat that represents one that honors and respects Harry’s personal free will, regardless of what people and society say we should do based only on our talent and eligibilities, that represents God.
Good video. I need a spiritual director. I felt a calling since my youth. So I went into the ministry as a Protestant and loved being a pastor and missionary. I did this for almost two decades then became Catholic about 8 years ago. Now I don’t know what to do and have been so frustrated. I still have my gifts and callings of God but being married couldn’t be a priest or monastic. I’d LOVE to be either one, but can’t. Though now we are separated…so I’m praying and discerning for what God wants from me next. It’s been so heartbreaking to leave ministry and the callings and pulling is still there all of my life. I hope I can one day get back to that place or something similar where God can use me in a greater way again. 😞 🙏
Thank you father , indeed comforting advices and food for the soul
Great arguments. Thanks
thank you father
This is fantastic in so many ways. Thank you ❤
god bless you
Thank you
Hello, Father. Thank you for these videos, please keep them coming. It would be helpful if you could say a few words on the topic of having a motivation to religious life that is not 100% pure. For example, wanting to glorify/give thanks to God through growing towards holiness and love in a monastery, yes, but also some wish to withdraw from the responsibilities of the world. Should one pursue this vocation if one feels partly like this? Can the motivation purified through living the vocation? Does it make a difference if the bad motivation is much less significant than the good one?
Sorry for such a long comment. I guess my question is does the motivation have to be totally pure?
Thanks!
Hey, Pedro: I know you didn't ask me, but, I've served in two wars. I'm going to disagree with you. Your motivation is not necessarily impure. It might be the other way around! Your motivation might just be "totally pure"! You are very smart if you are looking out onto the world and want to run for it while you can! The responsibility of manhood though will not be shirked by joining the monastery -- the Benedictines work and cary the worries of the world out in prayer to help us all. You are not unlike Saint Benedict in your repulsion from the world.
Pedro, thank you for you comment. I will do a video on that topic. It's a good thing to reflect on. I will answer it in brief here. Rarely, because we are human, are our motivations always 100% pure. We strive for it, we desire it but we are sinful. I often tell people, I did not come to the monastery because I was perfect, it was precisely because I was not that I entered. We might consider our vocation to be, in part, the divine physician encountering the sick who need him. I hope this helps. --Fr. Etienne
Great video father, thank you 🙏 PS: the link below doesn’t work :)
I'm a 53 yr old unmarried man , no children. I feel God calling me to a vocation. (a brother perhaps)
But recently I heard the term "consecrated single life." Can you shed some light on this please?
I am 57 and in the seminary. Your age isn't as big a factor as you may think.
Talk to the Vocations Director in your diocese. Or if they don't take "older" men, there are plenty that do.
Hi father. I loved this video and was very helpful. However I have a question.... I feel called to religious life but there's some feeling of guilt there that sure shows lack of freedom and probably a wrong understanding of God. How can I distinguish the feeling of guilt that comes from fear of dissappointing God and choosing wrong for my life or the felling of "guilt" that comes from wanting to love God and be generous bc of His immense love but that I see myself so weak and loving myself and my will more than Him ?
@Gangari TheWanderer thanks! Took a screenshot of this super thorough response and will take it to prayer haha. Important to remind myself entering is STILL discernment! God bless
I know that this comment was three yrs ago, so I don't know where you're at right now, but if you see this, I would advise you to speak to a spiritual director. A few years ago I had some horrible misperceptions about my vocation, always feeling guilty and stressed about it. One thing that really helped me was coming to the understanding that negative thoughts, like guilt and lack of freedom, don't come from God but from the devil, who wants you to be unhappy and will twist anything - even something so God-centric as the religious life - away from God. A vocation should attract you as a joyful means of serving God, not as something you have to do lest you be shamed. Lastly, it does help to experience a lifestyle representing the vocation you're looking into, instead of just thinking about it. To become a nun you have to be first a postulant, then a novitiate, then enter into various degrees of profession, and you can opt out any time if you realize it's not your vocation. If you think you're called to marriage and motherhood, it's good to spend time with other families and perhaps babysit or teach. I hope this helps, God bless.
I am from India so do u have any monastery in India
Can someone with a strained relationship with their parent be called to monastic life?
It doesn't matter what is going on in your life, God will keep calling you to that particular vocation. Please get a spiritual director. They are most helpful in discerning vocations.
I have a question. Why do you accept Protestants within the Monks, And why do you give them Holy communion?
Catholics and protestants can' t receive The Holy Communion at the same ceremony. That would be a sacrilege.
❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹🙏🙏🙏