Navigating Toxic Relationships
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ธ.ค. 2022
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I just left one!! He tried hard to drown everyone. I'm thankful for the courage to stop him.
That can be extremely difficult and no minor feat! Congrats on the first steps to a better path, I hope the pain can be released but the lessons withstand! Good luck ❤ god bless
It's a blessing
Me too after 14 years, and now I'm 54 and it's too late to start a family.😢😢😢
@@mitzibaker9598I'm so sorry. There's nothing quite like your own children, but perhaps you could consider adopting? Or helping another to raise their children, such as babysitting or being a nanny?
When I was a life guard this 300+ pound woman went swimming immediately after leaving the al you can eat buffet, I had to knock her out to save her Because she kept pulling me under and trying to drown me
Holy f
Would love to see that episode of Bondi Rescue
Words of great wisdom. What a genius man.
The man knows how to make you think. It is wisdom and it's incredibly hard to watch people drown under their own pride.
Saving yourself to not go down with someone isn't abandoning them. It's survival.
Had to listen to this 5 times.
Ok. Sounds like good advice, as far as life goes. I don't think I ever got this, until hearing Jordan.
A harsh truth
Dr Peterson saves and has saved many with his wise words... We learn from him everytime we tune in... Love him so... ❤
The difficult part is when you are sick and dependent. The second by second thought of getting healthy to get rid of the situation is deep and helps but destroy us at the same time!
Sometimes getting your health back isn’t even an option.. all you can do is witness yourself drowning, alone
That's wisdom
With some people, the more you help them, the harder they lean, until they break you and become indignant that you're no longer capable of holding them up. It simply doesn't occur to them that they should try to get up on their own hind legs after all that assistance.
Sometimes no amount of logic will motivate an abused individual to leave a trauma bond.
I would argue that it feels like cruelty but I’m trying to not always feel like the victim. I suppose a good question would be, if I know or feel like I’m dragging my partner down, how do I stop that? I obviously don’t want to hurt the person I love or drag them down
Stop doing the things that drag you down might be a good starting place.
@@dougdow1287 and probably find reasons to love myself wouldn’t hurt, either
@Dubh Glas 95 start with love for yourself, and you'll find you make better choices for others. I used to let him pull me down because I felt bad that no one loved him, not even his mother. That being said, I became horrible to myself and others because survival mode doesn't allow for much foresight and preparation. Love leaves space and leaves room to think, breathe, and focus.
It feels cruel to leave someone who's drowning you because the fact is they're drowning. The question is, why should they take you with them?
You recognized this, or are accepting a negative you've been told, about yourself. Give yourself credit for allowing this, cuz far too many won't. We grow by learning our strengths & weaknesses. My advice is to set goals. When you are focused on a goal you won't undermine the achievement of it. Do you & your partner have a common stated goal? Whether my rant helps or not, don't stop exploring yourself.
It's also common sense the one thing about common sense is that it's not that common at all these days I love you Jordan
To be obligated to sacrifice someone in order to survive is very painful, and feels immoral. But it is the ONLY course of action possible, whatever the temptation to backslide and make the best of it.
Jordan's drowning shows up as instructions to "burn yourself off" and "dispense with the parts of you" and "be a good person (as opposed to a bad person)". Jordan's drowning was caused by Walt conflating the role of a father with conflict, dread, and counterwill.
Simple. Relatable. Way to explain. Why I must NOT drown. As a LIFEguard ❤ Tk U Dr. J.p
Kinda like he's speaking to me at this very moment in my life...
Almost everyone i know and have met have trouble distinguishing compassion and cruelty
Wow I needed this, a girl I had something with made out with my friend of 8 years last night
Thank you for this. ❤
Truth. Thank you.!❤
Facts
What is the best thing to do when you are watching someone drown in a toxic relationship but are so swept up in their narcissism and manipulation and can’t admit it. You can see they know it deep down but it’s almost like a one man cult.
Preach it preacher ❤❤❤
My now deceased ex-wife was a total boat anchor. I wound up at 28 with a 2 year old daughter, the clothes on our backs, 2 disposable diapers, a rainbow care bear and a beat up suitcase!
So sorry y'all went through that but you are survivors.
Reverse and Ready Talk them back to safe shallow shore
EXACTLY HOW & WHY MY MARRIAGE WENT INTO DIVORCE 🎉. After 25 years I’m exhausted
That's every damned relationship I've ever been in. I'm so tired their are no words.
I'm in poverty. Easy to get to. In a world I was educated to be in but a far cry personally from what my generation considered normal especially since I was brought up in a very religious family.
It's so hard when you're "the savior" type of person 😪 I finished a relationship of three years and I feel so sad about it, thinking that I will never have a relationship this deep (I know I'm probably wrong about that but I'm scared). But I had to finish it cause he was doing bad to me and I couldn't do that to myself anymore. I tried saving him but I'm not superwoman and I must learn that. I miss him. Is this feeling going to go away?? I'm so tired 😓 I hope he is okay right now. He did so many bad things to me, why I still care about him? He didn't love me the way I deserved and still I feel worried about him. I feel stupid as fuck 😓
You know what's ironic about this I'm 31 this story made perfect sense when i was young but over the years to this age i kinda believed well it's okay to drown with them where that came from I do not know.
As a former Lifeguard, letting a drowning person go down because they won't listen to instruction and try to drown everyone saving them is a hard thing to accept but it's necessary because you can save more lives than they can.
Lifeguards are heroes Thank you for service in the community.
Sometimes you have to pull them under to keep bough of you from drowing
AMEN
I'm a holistic which causes problems. I think troubled men gravitate to my strength. It's become dangerous for me. I'm not qualified as a counselor. They're not showing up in a way I can relate to.
❤
How many people have asked both sides what happened and their reasons for doing what they did?
What's the full video called?
🙂
Common sense; not cruelty.
I put my foot out a week ago
For over 25 years, as an older divorced woman, I feel like a tree that a 100 dogs have come by to pee on to claim their territory.
Sounds like your "tree" doesn't have thorn bushes around it.
I can SO relate Barbara!😢
He's reading this. My ghost.
A good point about mass immigration to germany...
When i got trained for lifeguard they told me to kick a man in the balls or punch a woman in the breast so they would calm down hahahah
What if you are on a raft or just a piece of wood; and it will only hold the weight of one of you, and you love them, but don't like them very much. Do I just kick him off and paddle like hell or do I just hope he pulls a Jack Dawson "Titanic"🤔 I'm not going to chance it, he's getting kicked. I will ask for forgiveness from God and claim spousal privilege or plausible deniability to the court or some other made up law. Remember life or death people. 🤣 Sorry shit was getting serious.
These are the words of the rich.
These are the words of a fellow human. One who has consumed a tremendous amount of information. Thanks to Dr Peterson, & social media, you & I don't have to pay $100,000 a year to learn from him. He puts himself out there & is open for criticism & discussion.
The example with the lifesaver I understand, but somehow I have a bad feeling in combination with the rest and especially with the video title.
This reminds me too much of the fact that I have been observing for many years that there are more and more people who avoid contact from the outset as soon as another person has mental problems. Or that there were problems in the past.
So I don't know, but I think you could also interpret the video in such a way that you should stay away from people who are too interested in the truth and therefore endanger the house of cards in others. If I then still think about the topic of truth and salvation in general, that you get deeper and deeper into the shit with lies without realizing it, then the roles would even be swapped with the lifesaver and the drowning? Anyway, I have a bad feeling about it.
Do you feel like there is a risk you would be "brainwashed" from watching and listening to as many people as you can? Do you really think the answer is to just NOT watch and listen people? Can't you make the distinction on yourself, for yourself, in regards as to what is a right or wrong lesson?
@@mushylog I'm thinking of those who just can't. Or rather to those who always hear out what they want to hear out and the video in combination with the video title gives many the opportunity to misinterpret it in my opinion. And one should be careful that this possibility is not given.
For example, there is a good short video of Jorden in which he explains the consequences of porn.
The video was released by a fan channel and the video title actually has nothing to do with what was said in the video.
As far as I remember, the title was correspondingly, dont play with yourself.
There, watching porn was equated with masturbation, which was not the subject of the video, that's brainwashing.
As far as I can remember.
However, what bothers me here has to do with the fact that the title mentions harmful relationships.
Then there is the example in the video, that a lifesaver should let a drowning person sink if there is a danger of being dragged down.
But many people already see this danger as soon as they hear that someone has depression.
So you could settle it in such a way that you shouldn't even try to help someone who pulls you down because of unpleasant conditions.
And when I think of the story of Jesus, who is said to have died because he didn't let anyone drown, then I wonder if all this can be right what is shown here.
Most people don't really question videos or statements, do they?
So what effect does it have on people who don't listen and question? I just have a bad feeling about it. Anyway, I think I can tell the difference between right and wrong, but I think most people just don't.
Only that which justifies one's behavior is seen, and if it is bad, then it can be said well with the help of wrongly chosen words of a person who is considered good.
Just as murder, for example, can be justified when someone blasphemes God. Or when a woman is killed in Afghanistan who has separated from her husband.
All because somewhere a back door was left open through which evil could slip through and ultimately count as a good deed.
@@mushylog And to bring the subject of Jesus and the scourge into it in more detail, I assume that the story actually describes a breakdown of the axiomatic system. Every breaking axiom a whip and so on.
So if we take people who seek their salvation in the truth and those who choose the lie, then we have two parties pulling each other into the depths.
Each party claims that the other is to blame, and that is precisely where I think it is dangerous to suggest that one should let others go down when one's own life is in danger.
Like I said, I just have a bad feeling about it.
@@svenboelling5251 That's good points, but Jordan said that if the drowning person tries to grab onto you while drowning, you should kick back and survive for your OWN sake, "you're not obligated to drown with them" he said. It's up to you, really. He didn't say "don't try to save the other party", he did take the example of a lifeguard for a reason! So yes, people will misinterpret, always, but there are those who will not: they can try and bring clarity to the message, OR to A message that is *right*.
You have good intentions in worrying, but I think we all have personal limits as to how far we can allow ourselves to worry; myself I choose to stop worrying about how much a person cares about accepting help; in other words I would try again and again to help them when they didn't want help; there is nothing WE can do when someone doesn't want help BUT move on with our own lives, help those who want help, etc.
I think both parties can certainly pull each other apart and destroy themselves but there will always be humans who want to reconcile, cooperate and trust; it's something to do with nature, we have better chances to survive if we work together
@@mushylog I just don't think the comparison with the lifesaver is appropriate, it's not really drowning.
Jordan himself said elsewhere that we have no idea what we can actually endure.
If it concerns the body and not the psyche, then the case is relatively clear, but the example does not have much to do with the psyche.
I just mainly have a problem with the video title and the point with the pull down.
It's like a newspaper article, you see the headline first and then the beginning of the article, the rest is usually not noticed anymore.
In every article that you really study and that is obviously supposed to mislead the reader, the principle is the same.
The headline tells you what area to put it in, then comes what to believe and finally comes the facts.
Or usually just the "but. "
So I wonder why this video is presented in such a way.
For those who only have an attention span that is enough for 30 seconds cat video must remain in the end nothing more than the statement, that they should let go everyone who burdens the mind.
And the insanity in that case would be that ultimately someone like Jordan would also be one of those who should be drowned, because he brings other people's minds to that very limit.
Anyway, it's not about drowning in the lake.
I just don't understand the logic behind it when it is said elsewhere that only the truth can liberate, save lives and all this and then here again something is suggested that must have the exact opposite effect.
There's just something wrong here, just as if someone is analyzing knowledge, but not understanding it.
It doesn't make any sense to me. . .
People who are drowning are of course terrified of death, there is no way around feeling panic.
But the same thing happens when the axiomatic system is endangered. The ego is in danger as soon as the truth strikes, and then what? No one can really know the truth, and let others drown in this case cannot be the solution.
It's more of a chance to save yourself if you go down together.
Oof
Really? Does he ever shut up? For someone who whinges about not having freedom of speech this guy is everywhere. 🤷♀️
He is on a stage where he was invited to speak. Lots of people want to hear what he has to say. Next time, just swipe to the next video.
Yes he does shut up sometimes, though it's usually very interesting when he says something
Interesting. Why are you so jealous of someone who is a qualified teacher? I think you need an avenue for your own self-expression.
His complaint was that the gov't was going to compell (criminalize) speech. Imagine getting sued, or written a citation, for something you say, or don't say correctly. Once we give the Gov't the authority to monitor & control our speech we are all screwed. I'm sure you've heard the expression, give them an inch & they will take a mile?