10000000000% true, I've only had one abusive gf, thankfully every single one apart from the last one was wonderful! And she'd tell me how much she loves me while she's telling everyone else I'm calling her stupid! I felt sick finding this out! Stupidly I felt I could some how help her change her, and I realised her "victim" hood was self imposed she had a "bully" boss, she had a "bully" ex, she had a "bully" friend, and she moved schools coz of bullies, and I'm thinking a victim of bullies wouldn't so happily put me down and laugh in my face without worry. He needs to RUN!!!
I rarely talk to friends or family about disputes with my husband. We will solve it, it will blow over. I don't want other people's opinions of him to be skewed based on the spats we have.
Seriously...my bf asked me to drop a similar friend right away...it was the best decision I've made. Some people are toxic energy vampires and they do not wish others well.
Not everyone with a toxic friend is a bad person. Sometimes toxic people take real advantage of kind and sensitive people. I would say more often than not, toxic people look for those they view as weak
@@GameChanger597Nobody said that. We're saying is that some people are codependent and make poor relationships with friends. That's still a problem, even though it doesn't make you a bad person. Calm down.
@@johnwilburnNot always, because there are people who are codependent and pathologically loyal. Does it mean that they are liars and cheaters as well. Enablers are a thing.
yup, for this to even be an issue, the wife is behaving pretty poorly. If I had a friend telling me to get rid of my wife so we could go on hunting trips more often, I'd be getting rid of that friend. I wouldn't even tell my wife unless she asked why I stopped hanging out with him.
Not necessarily. Some women aren’t friends….they are frenemies. Which means they will actively sabotage the lives and relationships of other women just to make sure they aren’t any happier or more successful than they are. So this may be a case that she resents the marriage of her “friend”…and is trying to talk her into self-destructing. “I’d much rather have a male friend that secretly loves me, than a female friend who secretly hates me.” --Sadia Khan.
Yes this person is a horrible human being. Just before I got married my Mother said one thing, your marriage is sacred it's between you and your husband, keep your friends out of it.
There’s nothing wrong with seeking wise council from your other married friends about certain issues you and your spouse are having, but there’s NO place for someone just bad mouthing their spouse to their friends. Terrible.
The wife has one foot out the door already. If my friend was constantly telling me to divorce my wife and I wasn't already thinking it, I'd shut that down in a heartbeat. The fact that the wife isn't shutting it down should tell you she's got one foot out the door.
@@ronaldmcnerneyjr3467Or, she's sick of hearing about the wife complain. But my guess is also she may want to drag his wife down into being single like her.
She doesn’t need to set boundaries with her friend…she needs to drop this friend immediately. I don’t even understand why she’s even talking to a person like this.
I’ve dealt with this. A family member was ALWAYS suggesting divorce for any or everything. I don’t vent to anyone about my relationship anymore & at the time I barely did. This woman was miserable in her marriage & projecting her own desires for divorce to me whenever anything was brought up. Keep people out of your business because you don’t know what spirit someone is operating out of. 😅
The friend probably wants to break up with her affair partner because she can't be with him enough (and is projecting it onto op and his wife not seeing each other much) OR SHE wants her affair partner to leave his wife and is projecting that on to all other married couples
Most likely, the friend is privy to the bad things happening in your marriage because your wife vents to her. And, however the wife is venting to the friend, is why the friend thinks a divorce is warranted. Your issue is with your wife...not the friend. The wife is too much of a coward to own that so instead she just puts it on her friend. Nobody asks for a divorce so they can travel with their friend. Your wife is trashing you to the friend and the friend thinks she is being a "good friend" (though misguided) by supporting her and maybe even encouraging a divorce that YOUR wife probably told her she wanted. Like John said. The call is coming from inside the house!
My friends and I do not discuss our marital issues . Sure we have an occasional whinge about minor annoyances , but that is it . All but 2 of my friends are still married after 40 years plus with no divorces .
@@BlackStump172 I think it's weird that you don't have a confidant that you can talk to about your marriage issues. You just keep it all inside? You just stew in it? Best friends are there to listen and help you navigate difficult marital times... maybe it's different for guys but it shouldn't be
@@squizzerl1478some people’s best friends are their spouses. Venting personal stuff going on in the marriage would be like gossiping about one friend you are having deeply personal issues with to another friend in a friend group, but even more violating. I’ve never seen venting outside of a marriage relationship fix that relationship. Only provide fuel to the fire.
Two possibilities as I see it: 1)that "friend" is a jerk indeed and wants to damage their marriage and 2) the wife is describing a situation not at all flattering for her husband (truthfully or not, we don't know, only she does) and the friend is telling her all this to "save" her.
Or the "friend" wants to be more than a friend and that's why she's encouraging her to divorce her husband so they can "go on vacations and hang out all the time"! I've seen men and women do this!
Most friends don’t encourage divorce unless they are being fed a narrative that their friend is in a toxic marriage. His wife is telling this friend something.
I had a friend who would always drop hints that there was something wrong with my husband, then boyfriend. She really didn't like him. I tried really hard to make the friendship work. But eventually she pissed me off too much and I cut it off.
My husband and I have had to cut certain friends from our lives. Some women just can't stand to see other women be happily married, and will do anything to sabotage any relationship. God bless!
But what was she telling you? Cuz I had a friend and her husband was always cheating on her… She asked me this after someone else tried to tell her but her eyes were begging me not to say anything as well. I said “I heard that as a rumor but I can’t answer if it’s really true. Do I think he would? I think all men would if they thought they could get away with it. But in court today I’d have to say I dunno. “ She started saying to herself. “Me too- I think he would. He probably did. Dammit-I should leave but what if it’s not true?!” She fully changed her mind a buncha times and then came back ti me and said, “I found out it wasn’t even true and I SHOULD just trust my husband anyway. “ Like I loved them both as a couple and didn’t want them to split up but her husband also exposed himself to me 3 separate times and had tried to grope me as well. I always peeled him iff and went about my day. A mutual told me about this hooker/stripper he was staying over with…so yea- but I still didn’t want her heart broken. I hope he matured before they had kids. Right after this she moved them across state for a job and to probably get rid of the stripper too. I hope she is making a ton of money.
I have a friend like this as well. She was always saying negative things about my then boyfriend, and she does the same thing now about him as my husband. I cut her out for two years, but we have a mutual friend group, so there’s really no way to avoid her. I forgave her and allowed her back into my life at a distance. In this particular situation, this woman doesn’t have anything positive to say about any woman’s husband. She’s just a miserable lady (single who I never see getting married) who just hates men.
No one should EVER have a friend who encourages divorce (very, very few exceptions). She needs to get rid of this person. Gather people around you who are positive and moral.
I would hope *every* abused woman has a friend who would help them and their kids escape an abuser. We have zero idea if this guy is abusing her. Abusers rarely ever admit what they do. Of *course* abusers will mis-represent their role as an abuser or controller or neglectful, or whatever to outsiders, pretending they are blameless "saints", and they blame others for their behaviour, and dodge responsibility. His wife's boundaries ARE NEVER UP TO HIM. She has every right to choose for herself, without his control or input. It is not HIS decision. And if she chooses to leave him after years of a neglected marriage then he is just as responsible for that decision.
She can't get her guy to divorce his wife, so she's just trying to get someone divorced because she can't be surrounded by people who are happier than her.
Same I had a friend who didn’t want me to get a divorce or anything but she was a terrible human being at least in that season of her life hopefully she will be better in another season but she was very unhealthy in her life and I had to cut off my best friend. Not only did she drain me she was not faithful to her own husband and my husband said he didn’t trust her or want her in our house. The Lord Now had blessed me with amazing mature and Godly friends who encourage me and call me out when needed. I think surrounding yourself with like minded individuals who tell you the truth and aren’t selfish jerks will give your life such peace! Blessings and love in Jesus name
I can’t believe she associates with a woman like that.. how is she actually happy in her marriage if she’s so much as entertaining the idea-!? I have friends with bad relationships and I just do-not engage with them when it comes to my own. I’m so happy.. I know they can’t be happy for me
@@jesussaves89 Absolutely. I had a friend that started cheating on his wife. I talked to him and he said to mind my own business. So I did. With him no longer in my life.
As a woman I can say 1000% your wife is bad mouthing you and that's why her friend is saying that, and your wife has zero respect for you or your marriage to keep letting this happen
There is a big part of the story missing here…. I am that friend to someone because I fear for her life not because I want to go on vacation with her - but this is probably what my friend tells her abusive husband …
If my friend talked to me like this, she would no longer be my friend. A friend should help you keep your union together (minus violent behavior and abuse)... it sounds like she is unlucky in love and does not want the wife to be happy. Hopefully his wife understands this and dumps this so-called "friend".
The friehd is not horrible. We don’t know what the wife is telling her friehd. I myself will tell a friend who comes to me to complain about how bad her marriage is to divorce. The man himself says “ I have not seen my wife for years. You abandoned your wife for years. What do you expect her friend to tell her?
Nice to see a dissenting opinion. I have discussed separation and divorce with friends, and have had them say " I think you should consider leaving him" to me. Big deal. He has no idea what his wife feels like or is talking to her friend about. Not everyone wants a marriage like Deloney has, that's his trip, not everyone's.
He didn't abandon her, they were working different shifts, they both played a part in that. You say the friend is not horrible? Were talking about a woman who is okay with being the "other woman" and wishing the married guy didn't have kids so she can have him all to herself. She is despicable.
Listen, I’ve had friends who wanted me to leave my marriage too. The difference is that it’s because they care about my wellbeing and I have been suffering in this relationship for 14 years. Not because they want to have single vacays with me, that is toxic af. Divorce is not easy and it will affect you deeply. Any friend that takes it so flippantly does not care about you. I only started sharing the negative aspects of my relationship with my friends when I was starting to realize it wasn’t working. When I was committed to making my relationship work, I didn’t gossip about my husbands shortcomings, because of exactly this. My friends are obviously going to take my side, and I didn’t want them to have a negative picture of him
Tbh maybe the friend does care, but the husband misquoted her. We have little info, but he comes off like someone who spins things to avoid responsibility tbh. Not because he’s evil, probably just insecurity. The way he opened to complain about an evil friend and then it comes out that he and his wife didn’t see each other for years? As if that is a small detail. And how fast he shot down the event in October.. Who knows what else he left out? And the way he complained that “even his mother in law said he should lay boundaries”. Sounds like the guy is trying to convince himself.. People are judging that the wife is complaining to her best friend and forget that this guy just unanimously complained to the internet about his wife. I think he needs to consider how much his fear of conflict is impacting his life.
@@Austenfan177from what I heard, the wife has her own financial independence, if anything, finances could be tied in assists together. But that’s besides the point! Every married man/woman, or committed person should have boundaries, or the bare minimum, shouldn’t be acquainting with people who could harm their marriage.
Having a husband shouldn't stop you from going on vacations. Please don't stop living your life just because you're married. It's good to have a little distance sometimes.
Yeah.. Pull that with a guy with self respect and you'll have some papers for your lawyer to review on return. You're probably fine though. I suspect that your experience with men has been with the low testosterone pushover - simp - cuck variety.
If you're married or in a committed relationship, you should not be taking girl's trips or guy's trips to any party destination like Vegas, Miami, Key West, Cancun, cruises, etc.
I have been this friend who had advised two of my friends to consider a divorce. ONLY because said friends shared physical abuse and how their husbands were stiffling them emotionally bla bla bla. I did not volunteer to pay for anything but did offer emotional support. One friend who was actually dating the guy at the time went on to marry him and the abuse continued (I cut contact with her) and another friend is trying to mend her relationship with her husband and thinking of therapy etc and I'm rooting for them. So, the story this husband is sharing is a half truth. I feel he's not being upfront or he's clueless of the other side. FUN FACT: The friend's boyfriend who hit her occassionally harassed me over phone for months blaming me for his broken relationship (this was BEFORE I told her to consider divorcing him), his doubts on her infidelity etc. Later it was found out he had a whole family on the side hiding from my former friend who is still married to him bdw. You can't make stuff like this up.
I'm the wife's friend in a similar dynamic. He dims her down, he's immature, he isolates her, he causes financial problems, and he relies on her for everything, financially and emotionally and otherwise. She almost left him, but got cold feet after lawyers became involved. I was ready to walk with her in the process of a big life change and i encouraged it because it seems like it'd enhance her life, but I said that I'd support her in whichever decision she made. It isnt fun watching people you care about in such bad situations.
What the hell do you mean that your the wife's friend in a similar dynamic? How about minding your own goddamn business and let them figure it out for themselves? Jeez, women are like crabs in a bucket and love to pull other women down to their own miserable level.
Mind you fking business!!! You so-called friend is an adult with a functioning brain. I hate homewreckers like you, who are always available to 'diagnose' every marriage.
How on Earth did you draw any of these conclusions about this man from what has been presented? Additionally, you compare yourself to a friend who offers to pay someone to leave their spouse to travel together and simultaneously have an intimate relationship with a married man? Embarrassing.
it’s not even the friend in question that’s the problem, because there’s going to be selfish, horrible people everywhere. it’s the fact his wife is allowing this woman into her life and marriage. i’m instantly side eyeing the wife and questioning her integrity and morality for even having a “friend” like this.
I guarantee you the wife is venting and saying things about her husband to her friend. He said they hadn't really been together in years that alone lets me know MANY times she has vented to her friend. It's NOT excusing the friend, but this falls more on the wife. The person HE married.
Maybe the wife doesn’t want to be friends with this person anymore and instead of just having the spine to say that she’s instead using her husband as a reason that she can’t got on vacation with her rather than just being honest. If so, very childish.
If the wife wants to have a lasting relationship she needs to stop telling her marital issues to friends. I went through this with my hubby. He had issues for years and I would tell all my old friends and family our business. After a while I realized I wanted this relationship so I had to draw lines between us and them. Don't let people disrespect your partner and expect them to stick around.
It doesn't seem logical that the friend would be encouraging her to seek a divorce for no reason. My guess is the friend has noticed she isn't as happy or The wife has complained about not seeing the husband much due to work etc. I think they should speak to a counsellor because sharing intimate details with family or friends can just add an extra layer of complication.
The wife's first loyalty should be to her husband. It is her responsibility for picking friends and setting boundaries. She's falling short in her marriage, if she wants the marriage.
Believe it or not, the one I feel the most sorry for here is the wife. She has no marriage, and she sure as hell doesn’t have a good friend. If I showed up on ANY one of my best friends’ doorsteps at 3 AM because I was mad at my husband, they would give me the guest room and then first thing the next morning tell me to go home and work things out. They are rooting for us, not against us. These are the kinds of friends you need when you’re married, not someone who is actively trying to sink your ship.
@@kpl-CA Where did you read that I suggested she go back to an abuser? There’s a difference between returning to an abuser and just getting back on your feet.
Agreed. I’ve seen it before - the girl who convinces the wife to get divorced then they meet someone serious, they ditch the wife and the wife ends up with nothing. It’s actually sad.
@@jillitaknappYou can’t convince and persuade people into a divorce if the relationship is strong. Anything else was probably ending regardless of who weighed in.
Omg, this really strikes a cord with me. If anyone suggests that my husband is less than the wonderful man i know, i almost blow my lid. I would get in a fistfight with anyone that told me i needed to divorce my husband for such a selfish reason. Weird situation. More to this situation im guessing
My best friend from high school ended up not being such a good friend. She was toxic and loved causing me drama( false allegations plus many more) My husband and I talked about her and decided together to no longer have contact with her. Best decision ever!
I absolutely love it (sarcasm) when people use their friends to attack someone instead of braving up and having a conversation with that person. It’s cowardly, uncalled for, and rude. And I also detest the friends who just believe in malicious gossip. People like these are absolutely diabolical.
I get the feeling he is abusive though, abusers lie and make things up about people trying to help the victim escape. I could be wrong but ive been the wife/victim of abuse. And he would make up mental things about ANYONE in my life that showed me kindness or support and one by one make it impossible to keep those relationships. The fact he went to her mommy and cried about her daughter not doing what he says, says plenty to me. Its okay for HIM to vent but not ok for her. He doesnt seem to have friends and family and uses hers to gang up on her....
@@charlottehawthorne2664exactly. His initial presentation was very rehearsed and structured to make him look like a "victim". Plenty of 🚩🚩🚩 Assuming he's being entirely honest and objective about this situation is a mistake. He was looking for LEVERAGE to add to his abusive behaviour. The friend he misrepresents as a "homewrecker" could be dating a man with grown children, separated & seeking divorce for years but their abusive spouse refuses to cooperate. That's common. But he deliberately phrases his misrepresentation in the worst way. It's also just as likely that in those years of neglect HE cheated on HER, and the friend knows it. And the fact that HIS bad behaviour is know makes HIM furious. He neglected his wife for years but once she decided to leave he threw a tantrum...? Very controlling. The friend may have offered the wife money because *HE* is abusive & controlling, and the wife has no resources to divorce or travel or whatever, because he controls all the money. But if he admits the truth HE looks bad. Demanding the wife be cut off from all her friends & support is abuse 101. His demand to impose "boundaries" (he issues rules he commands her to obey) is very suspicious. Her boundaries are HER decision alone.
It's good for you to overlook the fact that this woman is dating a married man, so what does that say about her? Friends are people, and jealousy is a very human emotion, which is what this woman is feeling. When my wife and i first started dating, one of her best friends was jealous of all the time she was spending with me, so she tried to convince my wife that I was "dangerous" because of my military background, which was total BS. She cut that friend out of the circle
@@vaska1999 exactly! Every abusive man when trying to isolate his vcitim runs down her friends and family, makes up lies in order to destroy their relationships. Im glad so many other people can see it too. I bet the wife has been disclosing abuse to the friend, and the friend is nothing at all like how this man descirbes her. He went running to her mum in order to manipulate her and use her to triagulate the wife... all abusive tactics. Fine when he runs and vent sto her for advice but not ok when she runs to her friend for advice and support. Double standard, as always.
I told my daughter when she got married don't vent. Venting is essentially gossiping and sometimes it involves one upmanship. If you have problems talk to your husband, a counselor or a pastor. Friends and family remember the bad stuff and we don't forgive as easily as you will.
It also sounds like he needs to set boundaries with his wife because there's no way you're going to have someone in your life who's trying to break up our family
The only way the friend knows enough to speak on this is because your wife tells her. The only reason the friend feels comfortable to cross boundaries to say something is because your wife lets her. Your wife is the problem and she needs to learn how to respect and guard the intimacy of your relationship.
I don't like the red pill space but dr.John should acknowledge the current cultural/social media spot we are in where telling people to divorce is seen as a throw away comment and empowering at the same time
I'm so happy I made productive decisions about my finances that changed my life forever,hoping to retire next year.. Investment should always be on any creative man's heart for success in life
Thanks for the advice! I'm new to financial planning and wasn't sure where to start. Any tips on finding a reliable financial adviser or resource to guide beginners? .
As a beginner, it's essential for you to have a mentor that is verified by finra and SEC to keep you accountable. I'm guided by a widely known financial consultant Stacey Macken .
Truly, investing has changed my perspective on how one can succeed in life; working multiple jobs isn't the optimal way to attain financial freedom and unfortunately, we discover this later in life. Currently earn as much as 12 grand weekly and this has improved my financial life
YES! that's exactly her name (Stacey Macken) I watched her interview on CNN News and so many people recommended her trading skills, she's an expert and I'm just starting with her....From Brisbane Australia
The friend sounds crappy, but this guy's wife is DEFINITELY telling the friend defamatory stuff about him.. If there is some sort of marital issue between these two, then they need to work that out together. Otherwise, there is a much bigger problem on their hands. and eliciting the advice of a homewrecker certainly won't make it any better.
The wife probably is deeply unhappy and doesn't see a better future either way she looks. Staying hasn't worked and she probably also has considered life as single divorced person and knows that's not all sunshine and roses either. I bet the friend was trying to come up with something to say that would paint a happier life for her to move towards and give her hope and said something like "well I'll also be your friend no matter what, and if you need to get out of this married we'll have more time together and can plan some trips and travel." I've had friends in horrible HORRIBLE situations and have said similar things. I've only said such stuff when I know my friend has given it her all and her spouse is making it clear they're not interested in changing.
I don’t know why some women think issues in marriage is to be shared with friends and family and then they wonder why their friends and families do not respect their husbands. If you cannot talk about issues amicably and understand you are unit; without broadcasting it to every Karen, Keri and Kelly, why are you even married in the first place?
Well some husband's won't discuss issues, nor listen. So thecwife usually talks to a friend or mom. Ideally husband would be part of the relationship, so many ignore, hide, or refuse.
Sounds like we're all getting one side of the story. The wife is probably confiding in her friend like friends do. There are a lot of abusive men out there that are pretending not to be!!
I am 100% always don't give up on your friends just because you're with someone new... but! If you as a friend felt like "oh I wish you'd split up" you'd not be "hey I'll pay for it just break up" it sounds like a jealous "Friends" the worst thing is, the friend does not matter, the fact that the wife even entertains this, the fact that she can happily tell him this information! Is amazing. If I had someone telling me so easily that hey my friend want's me to dump you, I'd be "great, buy" why? Because they still consider that cancer a friend!
Most rich people stay rich by spending like the poor and investing without stopping then most poor people stay poor by spending like the rich yet not investing like the rich but impressing them.
Exactly! My grandparents were so frugal but they had a TON of money on both sides. I remember my grandfather telling me "you want to make money while you sleep." And I guess that attitude passed down to my dad (RIP), because I remember going to his house one day and I had bought something I really liked, so I wanted to show it to him. So I said "Look at this! Isn't it cute? It was on sale...I saved 50%!" My dad replied "Well, if you're spending, you're not saving." Obviously I had no retort, and that has always stuck with me.
Saving and investing wisely while prioritizing necessities and a few small luxuries in relation to one's total assets is a great approach. It helps ensure financial stability and I my for the enjoyment of life's little pleasures without compromising long-term financial goals. It's all about finding a balance that works for you!
We share abuses with our friends and they can see how hard we struggle with our marriage. And we can see we are no crazy. Women, don’t let your friends go. Do not be alone
My friends were against my ex, but that was because he was abusive. They tried to get me to realize what was happening to me. So my first reaction is to wonder if this guy isn’t telling the whole story. But it doesn’t speak well for the friend if she is dating a married man.
There are two possibilities 1- You're wife is feeding her way too negative information to her friend and based on that information she is pushing the divorce thing. 2- Her friend is toxic and trying to sabotage her life. If its first then god it's you're wife problem because i have deal with this alot in my life. My friends used to feed me lot of negative things about there boyfriend and when i confront them they make me look like a idiot. I stop coming between people who are in relationship.
It’s good to have family and friends be encouraging of one’s marriage! Every marriage goes through ups and downs. I’ve dropped friends in a heartbeat that were not respectful of my relationship. There’s not being respectful, and then those that listen that try to offer advice. Having someone suggest divorce is extreme and wonder what else may be going on. Have had friends I’ve encouraged, even with them thinking of divorce to go to therapy/counseling and hoping they work things out. But later find out that there was A LOT more going on. I still hope for things to be amicable for those friends/family. But no one ever really knows what is going on behind closed doors.
what about HIM??? need to hear her side because this sounds like a joke about how he's too controlling. like this is missing so much information it doesn't make any sense. all he's doing is talking smack with zero evidence or accountability
Listen closely. Sounds like the friend is no good. She’s “dating” a married man with kids. She doesn’t take relationships seriously.. I’ll bet she betrays her GF next. There’s no way she’s a happy person knowing that the man she’s got her teeth in goes home to his wife every night. Her gf goes home to her husband… and she’s alone. That girl just wants company in her misery.
How do we know this guy isn't abusing his wife, who then confides in her friend, who offers to help her out? Note how the caller didn't deny this possibility when Delony mentioned it. Also, I'm not sure he's being truthful about his wife's friend, either. He has every reason to present her in the worst possible light.
This is just like a great-aunt, she wanted my Grandma to leave Grandpa so she could take of her. She didn't thankfully, but there are people like this out there.
My ex spouse had a friend like this, Im sure my ex vented about me being a stay at home mom and the friend would come over and complain about me and pester my ex to go out with him. Well...one evening this : friend stops by while my husband was on night shift, talking about he was "jogging: in our area,. Luckily the kids were still up, but he would pop up whenever ex was at work. It finally stopped when we moved away, but I already knew he was trying to get in with me himself.
I will not be quick to judge a friend because there is always 3 sides to a story. The wife is feeding the friend information and the friend might actually have the best of intentions.
A friend told me her divorced friends brag about how great it is to have free weekends and time to themselves, but they are actually unhappy and misery loves company. There was a study that said that people with divorced feiends are more likely to divorce. Find friends whose relationships you admire and they will support your marriage.
I want to know the other side of the story. If in fact that friend just wants her single to go on vacation, than yes she is horrible. But somehow i find that very hard to believe. She could just find herself some single friends that would be willing to go on holiday with her, especially if she has 10k to splurge on someone else. If the wife is venting to the friend about being in a toxic marriage and her friend wants to help her leave, offering to pay for the divorce and to take her on vacation, that sounds more believable.
Ive never been married and so dont give my married friends much advice. Ive learned married people will stay regardless of the trauma and abuse they cause and give each other. Such a great covenant I guess it is true when they say for better or for worse.
You can offer friendship as in, if for whatever reason arises I'm there for you. So if that friend is hiding a secret but finally can't take it anymore they know you've promised to be there, and they can come to you. That's a huge gift.
It’s always hard to find the truth as their are two sides to every coin but the first 1:00 of the call, the caller goes on to say that this “friend” is dating a married man with kids. That probably means the “friends” married BF is gaslighting her into thinking they will be together or something along those lines. Either way the “friend” appears more in the morally wrong category and shouldn’t be trusted on face value. I’m also guessing the wife likes the drama the “friend” brings into her “regular” life. So much to unpack in this.
No matter what the other side is, it's a breach of marriage vows when you take everything and run to your friends. You're essentially giving the world a weapon to destroy your relationship
@@Jeremy-wp4yhto be fair I want to know because perhaps there's something the caller isn't mentioning of his own behavior. We don't know. Or, she could be extremely selfish/childish and it would be evident in the call.
![일상 속 기분 좋음 [Proto disco meme]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/DwmEIaZ7XGQ/mqdefault.jpg)
I blame the wife...she's definitely telling her friend stuff that is probably defamatory.
It has to be false to be defamatory.
Are you the "friend", Melissa?
10000000000% true, I've only had one abusive gf, thankfully every single one apart from the last one was wonderful! And she'd tell me how much she loves me while she's telling everyone else I'm calling her stupid! I felt sick finding this out! Stupidly I felt I could some how help her change her, and I realised her "victim" hood was self imposed she had a "bully" boss, she had a "bully" ex, she had a "bully" friend, and she moved schools coz of bullies, and I'm thinking a victim of bullies wouldn't so happily put me down and laugh in my face without worry.
He needs to RUN!!!
That's exactly what I thought
I rarely talk to friends or family about disputes with my husband. We will solve it, it will blow over. I don't want other people's opinions of him to be skewed based on the spats we have.
This isn’t about the friend. This is about the wife who is clearly feeding that woman negative information about her marriage.
@@Austenfan177NAILED IT
Exactly
Probably 50/50
A chatty patty
THIS
The fact that the wife is friends with someone like this speaks volumes.
Seriously...my bf asked me to drop a similar friend right away...it was the best decision I've made. Some people are toxic energy vampires and they do not wish others well.
Not everyone with a toxic friend is a bad person. Sometimes toxic people take real advantage of kind and sensitive people. I would say more often than not, toxic people look for those they view as weak
@@GameChanger597 You are who you hang out with.
@@GameChanger597Nobody said that. We're saying is that some people are codependent and make poor relationships with friends. That's still a problem, even though it doesn't make you a bad person. Calm down.
@@johnwilburnNot always, because there are people who are codependent and pathologically loyal. Does it mean that they are liars and cheaters as well. Enablers are a thing.
I'm curious to know what the wife has been telling and saying to the friend about her husband. Many things the husband is probably not aware of.
And /or what the wife is doing when her and her friend hangout
Good point
yup, for this to even be an issue, the wife is behaving pretty poorly. If I had a friend telling me to get rid of my wife so we could go on hunting trips more often, I'd be getting rid of that friend. I wouldn't even tell my wife unless she asked why I stopped hanging out with him.
Why would she tell her husband these things.
Not necessarily. Some women aren’t friends….they are frenemies. Which means they will actively sabotage the lives and relationships of other women just to make sure they aren’t any happier or more successful than they are.
So this may be a case that she resents the marriage of her “friend”…and is trying to talk her into self-destructing.
“I’d much rather have a male friend that secretly loves me, than a female friend who secretly hates me.”
--Sadia Khan.
Yes this person is a horrible human being. Just before I got married my Mother said one thing, your marriage is sacred it's between you and your husband, keep your friends out of it.
There’s nothing wrong with seeking wise council from your other married friends about certain issues you and your spouse are having, but there’s NO place for someone just bad mouthing their spouse to their friends. Terrible.
No, some spouses are narcissistic. Some people need to get out of abusive marriages.
That’s how people end up abused and suffering in silence for decades
Mom, cousin who I speak with, my wife has involved our neighbors and coworkers oh and customers
And that's what let abuse thrive in those days.
Uh huh...she wants you to get a divorce for a "vacation". hmmm somethings off about this story 🤔
You think?!
“vacations”😭😭 yikesss and dating a guy who has kids with another woman..
Maybe the friend is in love with this guy's wife.
Is he working her to death? For real
@@dudeorduuude5211right-!? She not above dating a married man with kids!
The wife has one foot out the door already. If my friend was constantly telling me to divorce my wife and I wasn't already thinking it, I'd shut that down in a heartbeat. The fact that the wife isn't shutting it down should tell you she's got one foot out the door.
The friend is in love with the wife.
@@ronaldmcnerneyjr3467or wants the husband!!
@@ronaldmcnerneyjr3467Or, she's sick of hearing about the wife complain. But my guess is also she may want to drag his wife down into being single like her.
She doesn’t need to set boundaries with her friend…she needs to drop this friend immediately. I don’t even understand why she’s even talking to a person like this.
Because she "grew up" with her and birds of a feather...
Because she's banging her friend
@@devin3607
Likely....
I’ve dealt with this. A family member was ALWAYS suggesting divorce for any or everything. I don’t vent to anyone about my relationship anymore & at the time I barely did. This woman was miserable in her marriage & projecting her own desires for divorce to me whenever anything was brought up. Keep people out of your business because you don’t know what spirit someone is operating out of. 😅
The friend probably wants to break up with her affair partner because she can't be with him enough (and is projecting it onto op and his wife not seeing each other much) OR SHE wants her affair partner to leave his wife and is projecting that on to all other married couples
@@Margatatials oooofff! This is a great pov, you have me thinking! 🤧 sometimes I wish that the op can just come and update us!
Most likely, the friend is privy to the bad things happening in your marriage because your wife vents to her. And, however the wife is venting to the friend, is why the friend thinks a divorce is warranted. Your issue is with your wife...not the friend. The wife is too much of a coward to own that so instead she just puts it on her friend. Nobody asks for a divorce so they can travel with their friend. Your wife is trashing you to the friend and the friend thinks she is being a "good friend" (though misguided) by supporting her and maybe even encouraging a divorce that YOUR wife probably told her she wanted. Like John said. The call is coming from inside the house!
100%
Totally
He doesn't need a wife that wants to divorce anyways. He has to divorce the trashing wife...
You couldn’t have said it any better. You nailed this on the head…period.
Or the friend is in love with the wife..
If family and friends are not respectful of a marriage, usually one of the spouses has been venting and sharing personal information with them.
Absolutely
My friends and I do not discuss our marital issues . Sure we have an occasional whinge about minor annoyances , but that is it . All but 2 of my friends are still married after 40 years plus with no divorces .
@@BlackStump172 I think it's weird that you don't have a confidant that you can talk to about your marriage issues. You just keep it all inside? You just stew in it? Best friends are there to listen and help you navigate difficult marital times... maybe it's different for guys but it shouldn't be
@@squizzerl1478some people’s best friends are their spouses. Venting personal stuff going on in the marriage would be like gossiping about one friend you are having deeply personal issues with to another friend in a friend group, but even more violating. I’ve never seen venting outside of a marriage relationship fix that relationship. Only provide fuel to the fire.
The fact the wife didn't end that relationship immediately tells a lot about her character.
Two possibilities as I see it: 1)that "friend" is a jerk indeed and wants to damage their marriage and 2) the wife is describing a situation not at all flattering for her husband (truthfully or not, we don't know, only she does) and the friend is telling her all this to "save" her.
Same sex infidelity can also occur.
@@and1813777 yeah, that could go in the first category.
I'm pretty sure it's the latter.
Or the "friend" wants to be more than a friend and that's why she's encouraging her to divorce her husband so they can "go on vacations and hang out all the time"!
I've seen men and women do this!
I would not be friends with or trust a woman who has no problem being a mistress/ side piece.
Me too.
Most friends don’t encourage divorce unless they are being fed a narrative that their friend is in a toxic marriage. His wife is telling this friend something.
That's not always true. my ex bestie just hated the man I married but they were both narcissists and in competition for my attention.
I had a friend who would always drop hints that there was something wrong with my husband, then boyfriend. She really didn't like him. I tried really hard to make the friendship work. But eventually she pissed me off too much and I cut it off.
My husband and I have had to cut certain friends from our lives. Some women just can't stand to see other women be happily married, and will do anything to sabotage any relationship. God bless!
But what was she telling you? Cuz I had a friend and her husband was always cheating on her… She asked me this after someone else tried to tell her but her eyes were begging me not to say anything as well. I said “I heard that as a rumor but I can’t answer if it’s really true. Do I think he would? I think all men would if they thought they could get away with it. But in court today I’d have to say I dunno. “ She started saying to herself. “Me too- I think he would. He probably did. Dammit-I should leave but what if it’s not true?!” She fully changed her mind a buncha times and then came back ti me and said, “I found out it wasn’t even true and I SHOULD just trust my husband anyway. “
Like I loved them both as a couple and didn’t want them to split up but her husband also exposed himself to me 3 separate times and had tried to grope me as well. I always peeled him iff and went about my day. A mutual told me about this hooker/stripper he was staying over with…so yea- but I still didn’t want her heart broken. I hope he matured before they had kids. Right after this she moved them across state for a job and to probably get rid of the stripper too. I hope she is making a ton of money.
I have a friend like this as well. She was always saying negative things about my then boyfriend, and she does the same thing now about him as my husband. I cut her out for two years, but we have a mutual friend group, so there’s really no way to avoid her. I forgave her and allowed her back into my life at a distance. In this particular situation, this woman doesn’t have anything positive to say about any woman’s husband. She’s just a miserable lady (single who I never see getting married) who just hates men.
No one should EVER have a friend who encourages divorce (very, very few exceptions). She needs to get rid of this person. Gather people around you who are positive and moral.
I would hope *every* abused woman has a friend who would help them and their kids escape an abuser.
We have zero idea if this guy is abusing her. Abusers rarely ever admit what they do.
Of *course* abusers will mis-represent their role as an abuser or controller or neglectful, or whatever to outsiders, pretending they are blameless "saints", and they blame others for their behaviour, and dodge responsibility.
His wife's boundaries ARE NEVER UP TO HIM.
She has every right to choose for herself, without his control or input. It is not HIS decision.
And if she chooses to leave him after years of a neglected marriage then he is just as responsible for that decision.
She can't get her guy to divorce his wife, so she's just trying to get someone divorced because she can't be surrounded by people who are happier than her.
If the wife doesn't drop that 'friend' immediately, his marriage is in trouble. Terrible women ruin other women's lives with their crazy.
Same I had a friend who didn’t want me to get a divorce or anything but she was a terrible human being at least in that season of her life hopefully she will be better in another season but she was very unhealthy in her life and I had to cut off my best friend. Not only did she drain me she was not faithful to her own husband and my husband said he didn’t trust her or want her in our house. The Lord Now had blessed me with amazing mature and Godly friends who encourage me and call me out when needed. I think surrounding yourself with like minded individuals who tell you the truth and aren’t selfish jerks will give your life such peace! Blessings and love in Jesus name
I can’t believe she associates with a woman like that.. how is she actually happy in her marriage if she’s so much as entertaining the idea-!? I have friends with bad relationships and I just do-not engage with them when it comes to my own. I’m so happy.. I know they can’t be happy for me
@@jesussaves89 Absolutely. I had a friend that started cheating on his wife. I talked to him and he said to mind my own business. So I did. With him no longer in my life.
Truth!!!!
Or she is giving good advice
As a woman I can say 1000% your wife is bad mouthing you and that's why her friend is saying that, and your wife has zero respect for you or your marriage to keep letting this happen
There is a big part of the story missing here…. I am that friend to someone because I fear for her life not because I want to go on vacation with her - but this is probably what my friend tells her abusive husband …
1:12 Caller: "And she's dating a married man..."
John should've asked "...is it you?" 😂
If my friend talked to me like this, she would no longer be my friend. A friend should help you keep your union together (minus violent behavior and abuse)... it sounds like she is unlucky in love and does not want the wife to be happy. Hopefully his wife understands this and dumps this so-called "friend".
The friehd is not horrible. We don’t know what the wife is telling her friehd. I myself will tell a friend who comes to me to complain about how bad her marriage is to divorce. The man himself says “ I have not seen my wife for years. You abandoned your wife for years. What do you expect her friend to tell her?
Nice to see a dissenting opinion.
I have discussed separation and divorce with friends, and have had them say " I think you should consider leaving him" to me. Big deal. He has no idea what his wife feels like or is talking to her friend about. Not everyone wants a marriage like Deloney has, that's his trip, not everyone's.
@@PrinceKima_12Anybody who is dating a married man lacks integrity and lacks character. Case closed friend is a HORRIBLE person! Hope that helps!
@@flashthecorgi2053 I see no reason to believe this guy about that either.
He didn't abandon her, they were working different shifts, they both played a part in that. You say the friend is not horrible? Were talking about a woman who is okay with being the "other woman" and wishing the married guy didn't have kids so she can have him all to herself. She is despicable.
@@PrinceKima_12 yes its very obvious not everyone wants a healthy loving marriage 😂😂😂😂
Listen, I’ve had friends who wanted me to leave my marriage too. The difference is that it’s because they care about my wellbeing and I have been suffering in this relationship for 14 years. Not because they want to have single vacays with me, that is toxic af. Divorce is not easy and it will affect you deeply. Any friend that takes it so flippantly does not care about you.
I only started sharing the negative aspects of my relationship with my friends when I was starting to realize it wasn’t working. When I was committed to making my relationship work, I didn’t gossip about my husbands shortcomings, because of exactly this. My friends are obviously going to take my side, and I didn’t want them to have a negative picture of him
Tbh maybe the friend does care, but the husband misquoted her. We have little info, but he comes off like someone who spins things to avoid responsibility tbh. Not because he’s evil, probably just insecurity.
The way he opened to complain about an evil friend and then it comes out that he and his wife didn’t see each other for years? As if that is a small detail. And how fast he shot down the event in October.. Who knows what else he left out? And the way he complained that “even his mother in law said he should lay boundaries”. Sounds like the guy is trying to convince himself..
People are judging that the wife is complaining to her best friend and forget that this guy just unanimously complained to the internet about his wife. I think he needs to consider how much his fear of conflict is impacting his life.
Because the wife is of similar moral value 🤷🏻♂️
@@Austenfan177from what I heard, the wife has her own financial independence, if anything, finances could be tied in assists together. But that’s besides the point!
Every married man/woman, or committed person should have boundaries, or the bare minimum, shouldn’t be acquainting with people who could harm their marriage.
Having a husband shouldn't stop you from going on vacations. Please don't stop living your life just because you're married. It's good to have a little distance sometimes.
Yeah.. Pull that with a guy with self respect and you'll have some papers for your lawyer to review on return. You're probably fine though. I suspect that your experience with men has been with the low testosterone pushover - simp - cuck variety.
If you're married or in a committed relationship, you should not be taking girl's trips or guy's trips to any party destination like Vegas, Miami, Key West, Cancun, cruises, etc.
@@redwolf8135 why not? It's all about trust.
She does go on vacations. The friend said she wants her to go on MORE vacations.
You shouldn't be leaving your spouse for days on end to do something frivolous like going on a vacation. The husband can come along
I appreciate the fact that this caller is speaking very slowly and enunciating as he talks into his POTATO FOR A CELL PHONE
I have been this friend who had advised two of my friends to consider a divorce. ONLY because said friends shared physical abuse and how their husbands were stiffling them emotionally bla bla bla. I did not volunteer to pay for anything but did offer emotional support. One friend who was actually dating the guy at the time went on to marry him and the abuse continued (I cut contact with her) and another friend is trying to mend her relationship with her husband and thinking of therapy etc and I'm rooting for them. So, the story this husband is sharing is a half truth. I feel he's not being upfront or he's clueless of the other side.
FUN FACT: The friend's boyfriend who hit her occassionally harassed me over phone for months blaming me for his broken relationship (this was BEFORE I told her to consider divorcing him), his doubts on her infidelity etc. Later it was found out he had a whole family on the side hiding from my former friend who is still married to him bdw. You can't make stuff like this up.
I'm the wife's friend in a similar dynamic. He dims her down, he's immature, he isolates her, he causes financial problems, and he relies on her for everything, financially and emotionally and otherwise.
She almost left him, but got cold feet after lawyers became involved. I was ready to walk with her in the process of a big life change and i encouraged it because it seems like it'd enhance her life, but I said that I'd support her in whichever decision she made. It isnt fun watching people you care about in such bad situations.
What the hell do you mean that your the wife's friend in a similar dynamic? How about minding your own goddamn business and let them figure it out for themselves? Jeez, women are like crabs in a bucket and love to pull other women down to their own miserable level.
Yes!!!! I’m that friend too!!
Mind you fking business!!! You so-called friend is an adult with a functioning brain. I hate homewreckers like you, who are always available to 'diagnose' every marriage.
How on Earth did you draw any of these conclusions about this man from what has been presented?
Additionally, you compare yourself to a friend who offers to pay someone to leave their spouse to travel together and simultaneously have an intimate relationship with a married man? Embarrassing.
@@RIPtybaltGood friends at hard to come so I'd definitely support mine too if her partner isn't treating her right
it’s not even the friend in question that’s the problem, because there’s going to be selfish, horrible people everywhere. it’s the fact his wife is allowing this woman into her life and marriage. i’m instantly side eyeing the wife and questioning her integrity and morality for even having a “friend” like this.
How important is his marriage that he immediately dismisses professional help? Come on, dude. Seems like he wants help, but on his own terms.
I guarantee you the wife is venting and saying things about her husband to her friend. He said they hadn't really been together in years that alone lets me know MANY times she has vented to her friend. It's NOT excusing the friend, but this falls more on the wife. The person HE married.
Maybe the wife doesn’t want to be friends with this person anymore and instead of just having the spine to say that she’s instead using her husband as a reason that she can’t got on vacation with her rather than just being honest. If so, very childish.
There has to be more to this story.
Exactly. Sth is not right
Yea too many missing pieces for me to have an opinion
If the wife wants to have a lasting relationship she needs to stop telling her marital issues to friends. I went through this with my hubby. He had issues for years and I would tell all my old friends and family our business. After a while I realized I wanted this relationship so I had to draw lines between us and them. Don't let people disrespect your partner and expect them to stick around.
He shot down that trip to the marriage conference in October pretty quickly 😂
I almost cried because my husband had to go to work today lol i can not imagine being friends with someone who disrespected him. 😢
Oh my. I feel so normal!
I thought I was the only one like this. He's my best friend. I can't help it. 😅 😂
That’s a blessing
How gross, the friend who is “dating” a married man with 3 children. Super gross.
It doesn't seem logical that the friend would be encouraging her to seek a divorce for no reason. My guess is the friend has noticed she isn't as happy or The wife has complained about not seeing the husband much due to work etc. I think they should speak to a counsellor because sharing intimate details with family or friends can just add an extra layer of complication.
Some people will take any shread of amno to destroy a marriage and this woman is one of them
The wife's first loyalty should be to her husband. It is her responsibility for picking friends and setting boundaries. She's falling short in her marriage, if she wants the marriage.
Believe it or not, the one I feel the most sorry for here is the wife. She has no marriage, and she sure as hell doesn’t have a good friend. If I showed up on ANY one of my best friends’ doorsteps at 3 AM because I was mad at my husband, they would give me the guest room and then first thing the next morning tell me to go home and work things out. They are rooting for us, not against us. These are the kinds of friends you need when you’re married, not someone who is actively trying to sink your ship.
Wait, you'd ALWAYS send them back?
Including forcing a friend who was abused to go *back* to her abuser?
@@kpl-CA Where did you read that I suggested she go back to an abuser? There’s a difference between returning to an abuser and just getting back on your feet.
@@kpl-CAshe said "mad at" nothing was said about abuse
Shame on his wife for continuing a friendship with such a dispicable person.
Agreed. I’ve seen it before - the girl who convinces the wife to get divorced then they meet someone serious, they ditch the wife and the wife ends up with nothing. It’s actually sad.
@@jillitaknappYou can’t convince and persuade people into a divorce if the relationship is strong. Anything else was probably ending regardless of who weighed in.
Omg, this really strikes a cord with me. If anyone suggests that my husband is less than the wonderful man i know, i almost blow my lid. I would get in a fistfight with anyone that told me i needed to divorce my husband for such a selfish reason. Weird situation. More to this situation im guessing
My best friend from high school ended up not being such a good friend. She was toxic and loved causing me drama( false allegations plus many more) My husband and I talked about her and decided together to no longer have contact with her. Best decision ever!
Form a two person circle in your marriage and don’t let anyone in it
The wife doesn’t respect him, because he’s being weak, not taking a stand, and not setting boundaries.
He tried that she said he was abusive
I hate to be this person but who you hang around is a reflection on you (check the wife’s phone🤔)
The wife has no respect for him, that's why the friend gets to shamelessly walk all over him and the wife could never repremand her.
I absolutely love it (sarcasm) when people use their friends to attack someone instead of braving up and having a conversation with that person. It’s cowardly, uncalled for, and rude. And I also detest the friends who just believe in malicious gossip. People like these are absolutely diabolical.
Idk sometimes people need an outside perspective.. just like this guy did with the mother in law and John and us.
If a spouse is not being abused or exploited in any way by their partner, a ‘friend’ DOES NOT get a vote in how their marriage is conducted.
I get the feeling he is abusive though, abusers lie and make things up about people trying to help the victim escape.
I could be wrong but ive been the wife/victim of abuse.
And he would make up mental things about ANYONE in my life that showed me kindness or support and one by one make it impossible to keep those relationships.
The fact he went to her mommy and cried about her daughter not doing what he says, says plenty to me.
Its okay for HIM to vent but not ok for her.
He doesnt seem to have friends and family and uses hers to gang up on her....
@@charlottehawthorne2664exactly.
His initial presentation was very rehearsed and structured to make him look like a "victim".
Plenty of 🚩🚩🚩
Assuming he's being entirely honest and objective about this situation is a mistake.
He was looking for LEVERAGE to add to his abusive behaviour.
The friend he misrepresents as a "homewrecker" could be dating a man with grown children, separated & seeking divorce for years but their abusive spouse refuses to cooperate.
That's common.
But he deliberately phrases his misrepresentation in the worst way.
It's also just as likely that in those years of neglect HE cheated on HER, and the friend knows it. And the fact that HIS bad behaviour is know makes HIM furious.
He neglected his wife for years but once she decided to leave he threw a tantrum...?
Very controlling.
The friend may have offered the wife money because *HE* is abusive & controlling, and the wife has no resources to divorce or travel or whatever, because he controls all the money.
But if he admits the truth HE looks bad.
Demanding the wife be cut off from all her friends & support is abuse 101.
His demand to impose "boundaries" (he issues rules he commands her to obey) is very suspicious.
Her boundaries are HER decision alone.
Friends can often see things that we cannot see..I dont believe this friend is a 'horrible' person😅
It's good for you to overlook the fact that this woman is dating a married man, so what does that say about her? Friends are people, and jealousy is a very human emotion, which is what this woman is feeling. When my wife and i first started dating, one of her best friends was jealous of all the time she was spending with me, so she tried to convince my wife that I was "dangerous" because of my military background, which was total BS. She cut that friend out of the circle
@@williamjohn8633 I'm also not overlooking the fact that this is pure hearsay, from a guy who has every reason to slander the friend.
@@vaska1999 exactly! Every abusive man when trying to isolate his vcitim runs down her friends and family, makes up lies in order to destroy their relationships.
Im glad so many other people can see it too.
I bet the wife has been disclosing abuse to the friend, and the friend is nothing at all like how this man descirbes her.
He went running to her mum in order to manipulate her and use her to triagulate the wife... all abusive tactics.
Fine when he runs and vent sto her for advice but not ok when she runs to her friend for advice and support.
Double standard, as always.
Don’t focus on the friend. Focus ON THE WIFE.
You are the company you keep.
I told my daughter when she got married don't vent. Venting is essentially gossiping and sometimes it involves one upmanship. If you have problems talk to your husband, a counselor or a pastor. Friends and family remember the bad stuff and we don't forgive as easily as you will.
It also sounds like he needs to set boundaries with his wife because there's no way you're going to have someone in your life who's trying to break up our family
Wow, John made a really nice offer, and the caller instantly pooh poohed it. I doubt he's going to make any effort to change a durn thing.
The only way the friend knows enough to speak on this is because your wife tells her.
The only reason the friend feels comfortable to cross boundaries to say something is because your wife lets her.
Your wife is the problem and she needs to learn how to respect and guard the intimacy of your relationship.
That's why John is calling her out as The dragon
I don't like the red pill space but dr.John should acknowledge the current cultural/social media spot we are in where telling people to divorce is seen as a throw away comment and empowering at the same time
Where exactly is is “seen” that way?
Any friend trying to get me to get a divorce is not my friend anymore
I'm so happy I made productive decisions about my finances that changed my life forever,hoping to retire next year.. Investment should always be on any creative man's heart for success in life
Thanks for the advice! I'm new to financial planning and wasn't sure where to start. Any tips on finding a reliable financial adviser or resource to guide beginners? .
As a beginner, it's essential for you to have a mentor that is verified by finra and SEC to keep you accountable. I'm guided by a widely known financial consultant Stacey Macken .
Truly, investing has changed my perspective on how one can succeed in life; working multiple jobs isn't the optimal way to attain financial freedom and unfortunately, we discover this later in life. Currently earn as much as 12 grand weekly and this has improved my financial life
YES! that's exactly her name (Stacey Macken) I watched her interview on CNN News and so many people recommended her trading skills, she's an expert and I'm just starting with her....From Brisbane Australia
This Woman has really change the life of many people from different countries and am a testimony of her trading platform .
Delony left us some gold nuggets with this one.
This"friend" does not have a good moral compass. Is your wife like that? Why is she friends with someone like this? That's crazy
The friend sounds crappy, but this guy's wife is DEFINITELY telling the friend defamatory stuff about him.. If there is some sort of marital issue between these two, then they need to work that out together. Otherwise, there is a much bigger problem on their hands. and eliciting the advice of a homewrecker certainly won't make it any better.
You shouldn’t tell your friends about your relationship problems. They will always have remember your f up even if the wife forgives
I think the guy's afraid he'd say me or the friend and his wife would choose the friend.
The wife probably is deeply unhappy and doesn't see a better future either way she looks. Staying hasn't worked and she probably also has considered life as single divorced person and knows that's not all sunshine and roses either. I bet the friend was trying to come up with something to say that would paint a happier life for her to move towards and give her hope and said something like "well I'll also be your friend no matter what, and if you need to get out of this married we'll have more time together and can plan some trips and travel." I've had friends in horrible HORRIBLE situations and have said similar things. I've only said such stuff when I know my friend has given it her all and her spouse is making it clear they're not interested in changing.
I don’t know why some women think issues in marriage is to be shared with friends and family and then they wonder why their friends and families do not respect their husbands. If you cannot talk about issues amicably and understand you are unit; without broadcasting it to every Karen, Keri and Kelly, why are you even married in the first place?
Well some husband's won't discuss issues, nor listen. So thecwife usually talks to a friend or mom. Ideally husband would be part of the relationship, so many ignore, hide, or refuse.
I think a lot of this depends on what the wife is telling her friend about the husband...
Sounds like we're all getting one side of the story. The wife is probably confiding in her friend like friends do. There are a lot of abusive men out there that are pretending not to be!!
I am 100% always don't give up on your friends just because you're with someone new... but! If you as a friend felt like "oh I wish you'd split up" you'd not be "hey I'll pay for it just break up" it sounds like a jealous "Friends" the worst thing is, the friend does not matter, the fact that the wife even entertains this, the fact that she can happily tell him this information! Is amazing. If I had someone telling me so easily that hey my friend want's me to dump you, I'd be "great, buy" why? Because they still consider that cancer a friend!
Most rich people stay rich by spending like the poor and investing without stopping then most poor people stay poor by spending like the rich yet not investing like the rich but impressing them.
Exactly! My grandparents were so frugal but they had a TON of money on both sides. I remember my grandfather telling me "you want to make money while you sleep." And I guess that attitude passed down to my dad (RIP), because I remember going to his house one day and I had bought something I really liked, so I wanted to show it to him. So I said "Look at this!
Isn't it cute? It was on sale...I saved 50%!" My dad replied "Well, if you're spending, you're not saving." Obviously I had no retort, and that has always stuck with me.
Saving and investing wisely while prioritizing necessities and a few small luxuries in relation to one's total assets is a great approach. It helps ensure financial stability and I my for the enjoyment of life's little pleasures without compromising long-term financial goals. It's all about finding a balance that works for you!
very true, a huge part of my portfolio growth has come during this bear market. I've been able to scale from $180K to $572K in a short period of time.
How do you do that? I'm interested
Thanks to my co-worker (Alex) who suggested
Ms Angela Christine Derle.
We share abuses with our friends and they can see how hard we struggle with our marriage. And we can see we are no crazy. Women, don’t let your friends go. Do not be alone
I had a partner who liked to talk our business to her family, what was suppose to be us it became a community project. GET RID & Move on!!
My friends were against my ex, but that was because he was abusive. They tried to get me to realize what was happening to me. So my first reaction is to wonder if this guy isn’t telling the whole story. But it doesn’t speak well for the friend if she is dating a married man.
If I ever had anyone say something like that about my husband I’d never speak to them again. WOW!
There are two possibilities
1- You're wife is feeding her way too negative information to her friend and based on that information she is pushing the divorce thing.
2- Her friend is toxic and trying to sabotage her life.
If its first then god it's you're wife problem because i have deal with this alot in my life. My friends used to feed me lot of negative things about there boyfriend and when i confront them they make me look like a idiot. I stop coming between people who are in relationship.
I would literally make my wife choose. First she may be a friend but she does not have anything to do to involve in her marriage
Yep
There are 3 sides to every story. In this case 4 sides. And the truth isn’t being told to anyone
It’s good to have family and friends be encouraging of one’s marriage! Every marriage goes through ups and downs. I’ve dropped friends in a heartbeat that were not respectful of my relationship. There’s not being respectful, and then those that listen that try to offer advice. Having someone suggest divorce is extreme and wonder what else may be going on.
Have had friends I’ve encouraged, even with them thinking of divorce to go to therapy/counseling and hoping they work things out. But later find out that there was A LOT more going on.
I still hope for things to be amicable for those friends/family. But no one ever really knows what is going on behind closed doors.
Man Dr.John has such great advice and empathy ❤❤ what a good man frfr
what about HIM??? need to hear her side because this sounds like a joke about how he's too controlling. like this is missing so much information it doesn't make any sense. all he's doing is talking smack with zero evidence or accountability
I feel like the wife has definitely been saying things to her friend behind the scenes
Turning down a free seminar to try and fix your marriage? Dude sounds like he's barely trying
The friend knows something. He is no good, thats why. Friends protect their friends
Listen closely. Sounds like the friend is no good. She’s “dating” a married man with kids. She doesn’t take relationships seriously.. I’ll bet she betrays her GF next. There’s no way she’s a happy person knowing that the man she’s got her teeth in goes home to his wife every night. Her gf goes home to her husband… and she’s alone. That girl just wants company in her misery.
How do we know this guy isn't abusing his wife, who then confides in her friend, who offers to help her out?
Note how the caller didn't deny this possibility when Delony mentioned it. Also, I'm not sure he's being truthful about his wife's friend, either. He has every reason to present her in the worst possible light.
If you are married you cannot be friends with someone who puts your friendship with them above your relationship with your spouse.
This is just like a great-aunt, she wanted my Grandma to leave Grandpa so she could take of her. She didn't thankfully, but there are people like this out there.
Me personally would not be telling my man what me and my bestie talk about😂
My ex spouse had a friend like this, Im sure my ex vented about me being a stay at home mom and the friend would come over and complain about me and pester my ex to go out with him. Well...one evening this : friend stops by while my husband was on night shift, talking about he was "jogging: in our area,. Luckily the kids were still up, but he would pop up whenever ex was at work. It finally stopped when we moved away, but I already knew he was trying to get in with me himself.
Crazy
I will not be quick to judge a friend because there is always 3 sides to a story. The wife is feeding the friend information and the friend might actually have the best of intentions.
While dating a married man, wishing he had no kids. Yes stellar friend to depend on. 😊
@joywebster2678 We don’t know the full story. The best that he can do is leave the relationship and heal.
A friend told me her divorced friends brag about how great it is to have free weekends and time to themselves, but they are actually unhappy and misery loves company. There was a study that said that people with divorced feiends are more likely to divorce. Find friends whose relationships you admire and they will support your marriage.
Dr. John’s facial expression at 1:15 is hilarious 😂😂😂
I want to know the other side of the story. If in fact that friend just wants her single to go on vacation, than yes she is horrible. But somehow i find that very hard to believe. She could just find herself some single friends that would be willing to go on holiday with her, especially if she has 10k to splurge on someone else.
If the wife is venting to the friend about being in a toxic marriage and her friend wants to help her leave, offering to pay for the divorce and to take her on vacation, that sounds more believable.
Exactly
Don’t stay with people that don’t want you
💯💯
A married woman's worst enemy are single friends.
You say as a woman with marriage experience?
Ive never been married and so dont give my married friends much advice. Ive learned married people will stay regardless of the trauma and abuse they cause and give each other. Such a great covenant I guess it is true when they say for better or for worse.
You can offer friendship as in, if for whatever reason arises I'm there for you. So if that friend is hiding a secret but finally can't take it anymore they know you've promised to be there, and they can come to you. That's a huge gift.
It’s always hard to find the truth as their are two sides to every coin but the first 1:00 of the call, the caller goes on to say that this “friend” is dating a married man with kids. That probably means the “friends” married BF is gaslighting her into thinking they will be together or something along those lines. Either way the “friend” appears more in the morally wrong category and shouldn’t be trusted on face value. I’m also guessing the wife likes the drama the “friend” brings into her “regular” life. So much to unpack in this.
It's already over. It's clear the wife doesn't respect him, so she can't love him.
OMG, I just had flashbacks of a frienemy. I finally told her to kick rocks.
I’m wanna hear the other side.
No matter what the other side is, it's a breach of marriage vows when you take everything and run to your friends. You're essentially giving the world a weapon to destroy your relationship
@@Jeremy-wp4yhto be fair I want to know because perhaps there's something the caller isn't mentioning of his own behavior. We don't know. Or, she could be extremely selfish/childish and it would be evident in the call.