Therapist Shares Why You're Attracted To People Who Are Wrong For You

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 เม.ย. 2020
  • Lori Gottlieb admits to Jay Shetty that she has always been fascinated by people’s stories. This allure first led her to television, but a desire to make an even deeper impact drew her to a career in counseling. There, she focuses on helping people explore their stories and rediscover their self-worth.
    Gottlieb, one of the leading therapists in the country, sat down with Shetty to talk about the power of emotions, human connection, and good therapy.
    A Word From Our Sponsors:
    Not using Honey is literally passing up free money. Get Honey for FREE at JoinHoney.com/ONPURPOSE
    Receive your FREE guide - “Managing Business Uncertainty” and schedule your FREE Product Tour RIGHT NOW - at NetSuite.com/JAY
    Policygenius makes finding the right life insurance a breeze. In minutes you can compare
    quotes from the top insurers to find your best price. You could save $1500 or more a year by using Policygenius to compare life insurance policies.
    --
    Text me: 310-997-4177
    --
    Subscribe and be a part of the movement to make wisdom go viral: bit.ly/2n6hiQP-
    --
    Join the conversation by commenting below.
    --
    Enroll in Genius Coaching to improve your life, deepen your relationships and find happiness every day: pages.jayshetty.me/genius/
    --
    Preorder my new book, Think Like a Monk: thinklikeamonkbook.com/
    --
    Jay Shetty is a storyteller, podcaster, and former monk who wants to make wisdom go viral. He loves taking his own life experiences, lessons from his time as a monk, and truths he has learned to make others’ lives better.
    --
    Follow me on Social Media:
    Facebook: / jayshettyiw
    Twitter: / jayshettyiw
    Instagram: / jayshetty
    LinkedIn: / shettyjay
    Pinterest: www.pinterest.co.uk/jayshettyiw/
    Sign up for my Viral Wisdom Newsletter: jayshetty.me/email
    Want to have YOUR best year yet?
    Join me for my Free Online Workshop: 5 Intentions for a Purpose-Filled Year
    jayshetty.me/purpose

ความคิดเห็น • 1.1K

  • @casual_cooper
    @casual_cooper 3 ปีที่แล้ว +605

    29:57 is when they start directly getting into what the title says

  • @osse1n
    @osse1n 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1916

    When you don't value yourself, it becomes your identity and you will be drawn to people who confirm that perception.

    • @joud9482
      @joud9482 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      🤔

    • @emmanuelabhishek9551
      @emmanuelabhishek9551 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      i was searching for buddy in comment section

    • @lidiapanettiere7268
      @lidiapanettiere7268 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      O'SSÉIN - Master Your Mind With Me thank you

    • @joud9482
      @joud9482 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I wasn't reading your comment as much as I was connecting the title of this video by finding you in 90% of videos I watched!!😅😂

    • @rhondaroberts7531
      @rhondaroberts7531 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      If you don't believe in yourself, why would or should anyone else. Makes perfect sense.

  • @ambs2024
    @ambs2024 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1296

    I saw a post that said, it’s not about you attracting toxic people. Toxic people attach to everyone they can. The important part is to learn to let go of toxic people. That’s the difference. Some of us don’t know how to let go of anything.

    • @rosesolorio81
      @rosesolorio81 4 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      Yes it's not about how you attract its who you choose to entertain

    • @marko6489
      @marko6489 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      lol, what a way to get rid of the responsiblity and put blame on others.

    • @ms.chauhan1435
      @ms.chauhan1435 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      True @Amber May

    • @kenritch3941
      @kenritch3941 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tricks2564 Some people expect too much...

    • @ineedhoez
      @ineedhoez 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Na... you attract toxic people bc your ass is toxic too. Toxic people are repulsed by people with healthy emotional boundaries. If you were healthy, you would be attracted to healthy people😂😂😂

  • @kloebl10
    @kloebl10 3 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    "You are grieving for the person who you have not yet met" WOW. That resonates.

  • @shaunjeter
    @shaunjeter 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1288

    Whoever is reading this, one day you will be living your dreams! Congratulations to you 🙏💫😀

    • @shaunjeter
      @shaunjeter 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      MS LRJ 😄😄🌟

    • @claudinecinous1905
      @claudinecinous1905 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thank you, i receive. Blessings to you!

    • @sharleenduplessis6632
      @sharleenduplessis6632 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Shaun Jeter thank you ❤️

    • @shaunjeter
      @shaunjeter 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sharleen Duplessis You are welcome 🙏 ❤️

    • @brindaram1073
      @brindaram1073 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you

  • @ErikaK
    @ErikaK 4 ปีที่แล้ว +641

    *This world is our mirror. Our outer reality is a reflection of our inner reality. It all starts from within. Everything changes the moment you see yourself worthy and beautiful, when you respect yourself*

    • @aswanthn4468
      @aswanthn4468 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thats amazing and well said pal....

    • @supergames2304
      @supergames2304 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      well said

    • @henrylambert8621
      @henrylambert8621 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      To er kit liked your comet very true thank you very much

    • @henrylambert8621
      @henrylambert8621 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hello Erik a you made a great comet thank you very much X

    • @ErikaK
      @ErikaK 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@aswanthn4468 much love !!!!

  • @SejaL8.
    @SejaL8. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +114

    MY NOTES FROM THIS PODCAST:
    2:58 the importance of letting people access their feelings.
    4:03 instead of getting rid of your feelings, use them in a positive way.
    13:52 the difference between secrecy(shame) and privacy(healthy boundary).
    20:28 in order to know yourself(the real you), you should first unknow yourself.
    23:36 difference between idiot compassion and wise compassion.
    28:44 talk less, listen more.
    29:59 try something different/something unfamiliar.
    32:20 difference between chemistry and compatibility.
    36:36 real meaning of chemistry.
    42:34 "if I can't do what I am asking people to do then there's a big gap but if I actually do it I think it helps people to say if she can do it I can do it too".
    45:06 one of the solutions for chaotic relationships.
    45:58 change for yourself and not for others.
    47:39 we sometimes are our own jailers.
    52:54 difference between pain and suffering.
    54:03 don't except from yourself/people to know how to deal with their feelings like grief, breakups etc.
    1:05:55 one of the ways to be kind.

    • @ambica.n3476
      @ambica.n3476 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thanks a lot❤

    • @vaganzani
      @vaganzani ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you, Sejal, this is very useful

  • @ddevulders
    @ddevulders 3 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    Someone very close taught me something extremely valuable in dating: fail fast. Dating is not a game where you try to impress the partner on the other side of the table, dating is about finding out if you are a match together. If you are willing to fail this process quickly your odds of finding a quality and equal partner drasticly increase (based on time invested alone)

    • @chrisrock1021
      @chrisrock1021 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      HELLO, Are you in need of a good and legit hacker? contact cyberspylove on instagram, cyberspylove@GMAILcom or send them a message on WhatsApp +1 213 290 4041 trust me he is one of the best out there, He helped me out despite i was being scammed severally i finally i found a legit hacker like JacksonAnderson

    • @imadsyed9537
      @imadsyed9537 ปีที่แล้ว

      Best dating comment ever! Thanks very much.

  • @rencho8236
    @rencho8236 4 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    “We want people to be honest with us, but we struggle to be honest with them.”
    Jay Shetty ♥️

  • @Ken-py4pk
    @Ken-py4pk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +173

    "You should know whether you're controlling your thoughts or are your thoughts controlling you."

    • @Nikolebichon
      @Nikolebichon 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I know I’m in the light when Im in control of my thoughts. I know Im in the shadow when my thoughts are in control of me.

  • @theskylifeprojectold4341
    @theskylifeprojectold4341 4 ปีที่แล้ว +679

    Human connection is amazing. I personally believe we are attracted to people we can learn from. Be it for a relationship or friendship ❤️

    • @JP-ll8iy
      @JP-ll8iy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Agreed! 👆🏽🙌🏽❤️

    • @theskylifeprojectold4341
      @theskylifeprojectold4341 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@JP-ll8iy thanks!

    • @Deepika-jv9hk
      @Deepika-jv9hk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Agreed

    • @gabriellelowe7422
      @gabriellelowe7422 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Could not agree more! Namaste 🙏 with much love, good health , happiness and prosperity to you !

    • @theskylifeprojectold4341
      @theskylifeprojectold4341 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @다이아나다이아나 indeed! The best part is learning from others

  • @CherylMuir
    @CherylMuir 3 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    To those struggling: You will overcome your painful patterns in love ❤️❤️❤️

    • @chrisrock1021
      @chrisrock1021 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      HELLO, Are you in need of a good and legit hacker? contact cyberspylove on instagram, cyberspylove@GMAILcom or send them a message on WhatsApp +1 213 290 4041 trust me he is one of the best out there, He helped me out despite i was being scammed severally i finally I found a legit hacker like JacksonAnderson

  • @AuthenticSelfGrowth
    @AuthenticSelfGrowth 4 ปีที่แล้ว +731

    The unconscious patterns and beliefs you hold deeply about yourself determine who you'll attract. If you carry alot of hurt and pain, you'll attract more of that. If you don't attract the right type of people then you still have work to do on yourself. The good news is we can all change :)

    • @wassanfrancis8009
      @wassanfrancis8009 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      That's so sensitive to our very emotions that hurt us the most all the time we slide into so many difficult times of differentiating what we like and what we love.

    • @danialteaches
      @danialteaches 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      well said!

    • @dr.shafqat6856
      @dr.shafqat6856 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Authentic Self Guide ok

    • @earthangel4743
      @earthangel4743 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I still have lots of work to do then. Jerks are still flooding my way!

    • @playfulvisionary7255
      @playfulvisionary7255 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That might be right but at the same time not for everyone. I mean it's right for me, but not for people I know

  • @wow50plus9
    @wow50plus9 4 ปีที่แล้ว +271

    People do want to be open but they also want to feel safe and that's the issue...finding a heart that is kind and pure enough to listen without judgement and give advise that is not self serving.

    • @playfulvisionary7255
      @playfulvisionary7255 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Eh, judgement might be right sometimes it can be wrong but it can also be right

    • @MegaLadylove2012
      @MegaLadylove2012 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      WOW50plus Pow 💥 this is everything. ‘Ppl do want to open up but finding the heart tht is genuinely for you or gets you is the issue

    • @zahraamanah8366
      @zahraamanah8366 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      WOW50plus So true, finding a heart that is compassionate enough to allow you to be vulnerable...

    • @TS-rd7oy
      @TS-rd7oy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I learned the hard way. I cringe when i remember the way i opened up to the wrong people. I don't do any of that anymore.

    • @athenafreya2509
      @athenafreya2509 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      T S You’re not alone in doing that and I’m sure you had good reasons eg not having the experience to know red flags , don’t cringe be proud of yourself for growing so you aren’t doing it anymore

  • @Sq5687
    @Sq5687 4 ปีที่แล้ว +188

    Her energy is so fascinating.. She's mindful and speaks from her heart..

    • @redesignedlife777
      @redesignedlife777 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Her voice is soothing. Haha

    • @younally491
      @younally491 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Couldn't agree more, what an absolutely insightful podcast.

  • @zoeyanaqvi-zn7482
    @zoeyanaqvi-zn7482 4 ปีที่แล้ว +94

    Yes compatibility is more important than chemistry ! Well-said

    • @mustafabarzanji9280
      @mustafabarzanji9280 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      it really is unfortunate how obsessed society has become with love. Promoting the idea that love can compensate for incompatibility.

    • @zoeyanaqvi-zn7482
      @zoeyanaqvi-zn7482 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@mustafabarzanji9280 yes true dear bcz lust is more love is rare

    • @ladyofspa
      @ladyofspa 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I think the definition has been mangled and cheapened. It's is just as important when understood it's more then just I think you cute...and I want sex.
      Chemistry in it's fullest understanding is your history being activated by a very specific person. You don't have chemistry with everyone, but select people.
      It's familiar family of origin triggers hormonal, smells,and features, it's unconscious attraction.
      It's your parents, and their parents passed down biology, history unfinished parts traumas, and love story matching the others in energy in feeling.....
      Your psychology and memories wants fears.....
      Spiritual a connection to an unknown, a messenger calling you to heal restore...your lower self chemistry mirrors.
      Without chemistry you are just friends. There's no challenge to grow.
      But chemistry is to know self,heal, and grow not necessarily to marry. When the chemistry is only sexual often it means greater unhealed parts will be brought up to heal and it won't last. But there is value.
      A more stable, confident chemistry is required for a fulfilling forever- progressive but strong.
      There's different types of chemistry to pay attention to. How you feel what's the message.

    • @ladyofspa
      @ladyofspa 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Also chemistry doesn't go away. Just because relationship didn't continue/ends, the chemistry can be triggered again.

  • @CA2SD
    @CA2SD 4 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    She’s a great listener because she’s so present. She’s has so much passion describing her journey becoming a therapist. A great conversation between two geniuses!

  • @ImperfectMuslim
    @ImperfectMuslim 4 ปีที่แล้ว +386

    Wel all have a habit of rushing into things, especially relationships. Sometimes we don’t even understand ourself and we try to understand the other person. We are not happy ourselves and we decide to make the other person happy.
    And sometimes we just get into it because there’s nothing else in life that we can control so we find the relationship to be the only option. That’s why we end up with the wrong person. Or sometimes the right person but for the wrong reasons.
    So we should start by discovering ourselves!

    • @darknight3613
      @darknight3613 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You are so right
      Thats an important lesson!

    • @ImperfectMuslim
      @ImperfectMuslim 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      darknight Yup exactly. It’s really crucial for us to understand it

    • @user-oe7vk1hy8o
      @user-oe7vk1hy8o 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Yeah like I'm just a teen but like many others, I'm lost and don't know wtf I'm even doing in life, so I just rush into relationship bc I'm lonely, just a cycle of dating, neglecting, regretting, and dating again. It's honestly so tiresome and now I'm slowly seeking help and valuing myself

    • @ImperfectMuslim
      @ImperfectMuslim 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      789 101112 I understand. Many people go through that. Just keep on working on knowing yourself and finding your passion and then you will be on the right path.
      Once I started focusing on my passion, it led me to making videos over here. I just started but hoping to go all the way :)

    • @user-oe7vk1hy8o
      @user-oe7vk1hy8o 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ImperfectMuslim tysm♥♥♥

  • @HowellConsultations
    @HowellConsultations 4 ปีที่แล้ว +365

    If you are reading this, may you attract everything you’ve been patiently waiting for & be passionate to pursue it whole-heartedly. It will naturally flow into your life when you are ready to receive it. Hope our channel helps you on your journey 🙏

    • @emmanuelabhishek9551
      @emmanuelabhishek9551 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you

    • @patriciaraymond3923
      @patriciaraymond3923 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ameen
      I have received
      Thank u,be blessed
      🙏🤝

    • @HowellConsultations
      @HowellConsultations 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@emmanuelabhishek9551 Pleasure !! 💖💖

    • @HowellConsultations
      @HowellConsultations 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@patriciaraymond3923 💖🙏💖

    • @d.benders2413
      @d.benders2413 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you very much, I have enjoyed every moment of this youtube video. So inspiring and encouraging. Soothing to the soul. Greetings from the Caribbean.

  • @Ness-nq2mo
    @Ness-nq2mo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +212

    To whoever is reading this,
    I hope you can let go of the people and things that confine you. I hope you can forgive yourself and forgive others, and most importantly I hope you can let go of the past that you think defines you.
    Every moment is a chance to Start again. 💫

    • @susanaperez524
      @susanaperez524 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Vanessa Cervantes thanks for saying this! Needed to remember about the past doesnt define you.

    • @emmalindon9424
      @emmalindon9424 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you 🌸🌸🌸

    • @manishbh1973
      @manishbh1973 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well said.. Vanessa!!!

    • @blomegoog
      @blomegoog 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      th-cam.com/video/r9VexoTZnrw/w-d-xo.html

    • @ahydac.2816
      @ahydac.2816 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you, it's very hard to find positive people that's why I have few friends. Better to have a few good ones than lots that are rotten 😄🥰

  • @carmel-wayfinder5401
    @carmel-wayfinder5401 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    The grief of the lack of authenticity surrounding my life.. as I am mostly always rejected for being my true self... It feels like I'm stretching out my hand and no one takes hold of it..... So my sense of community is so lacking.. people say make yourself happy I think that's such a limited existence.... Thank you guys are really enjoyed this interview talk very refreshing 💚

  • @user-my2eo9lo1y
    @user-my2eo9lo1y 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I created a bond with my children at a very young age. I would ask them why they are sad, happy, angry, and so forth...I wanted them to express to me why and we would talk it over. I have told my children never be sorry for how you feel because that is your true feeling about something. My grandmother always told me which I have passed on to my children, friends, nieces and nephews and their friends that never let anyone make you mad, get mad when you want to and don't let no one make you cry, cry when you want to cry. You control your emotions and let no one control them for you.

    • @chrisrock1021
      @chrisrock1021 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      hello When I needed to see through my fiance text when she was cheating on me I hired cyberspylove@GMAILcom who achieved it for me +12132904041 despite i was being scammed severally I finally i found a legit hacker
      Kindly contact cyberspylove@gmail.com +12132904041 on whatsapp for more enquires

  • @iknowwhatsup2880
    @iknowwhatsup2880 4 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    Being vulnerable makes you attractive, interesting and relatable. Really loved so much of the content. Ty

    • @minge9
      @minge9 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Not as a man, that's the harsh reality.

    • @skryvazena6548
      @skryvazena6548 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It depends on the culture, too. In a blaming culture, it can lead to being judged/blame.. it depends on the other person who listens. Open up to the right person is a way to go.

    • @iknowwhatsup2880
      @iknowwhatsup2880 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@minge9 I think we need to distinguish between vulnerable and weak. However, i do think its more femanine character trait, so men have to be more careful with who they're vulnerable with and when they express it..

  • @barbaraariho3660
    @barbaraariho3660 4 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    This was like a free therapy session, thank you Jay for this podcast

  • @camokitty
    @camokitty 4 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    As a child we weren't allowed to show feelings I can still hear my parent saying " what is wring with you"? Or disregard my feeling like they don't matter to express them was wrong or bad :(

    • @Coco-nx8hp
      @Coco-nx8hp 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Christina Parker oh I experienced the same thing ...

    • @g.l.4870
      @g.l.4870 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      So true... then as you age it becomes a part of u so therefore u tend to put some feelings under the rug that somehow leads to depression or lack of acknowledgement (of feelings)

    • @JustineMfulama
      @JustineMfulama 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Oh no I'm so sorry that happened to you. But I'm glad you recognize it now and can do something about it. You can now deal with that inner voice and change it.

    • @rubyv7231
      @rubyv7231 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Christina Parker yeah I totally understand you. Growing up I felt like I wasn’t allowed to cry so I didn’t. Till this day it’s something I still struggle with.

    • @Shortana
      @Shortana 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It becomes liberating when you realise your parents feared their own feelings and by denying yours they felt safe. Took a long time before I understood this.

  • @et1016
    @et1016 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    The interviewer’s eyes are the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. I honestly can’t focus on anything else. I’ll try again later.

    • @UXtatic
      @UXtatic 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I soooooooooooooooooo agree.What is the actual colour?

    • @tamelacartercarter8837
      @tamelacartercarter8837 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I thought l was the only on e his eyes are beautiful he beautiful beyond his looks he is so smart love his energy

    • @sleepingcinderella
      @sleepingcinderella 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      😂

    • @et1016
      @et1016 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Shoahshana Goldberg-Shekelstein how envious can you be? 🙄

    • @et1016
      @et1016 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Shoahshana Goldberg-Shekelstein Get a life girl. You are a girl, right? 😉

  • @TH-eb5ro
    @TH-eb5ro 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    A friend once told me 'it is never to late to have a happy childhood'.

  • @mingvlogs
    @mingvlogs 4 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    Anyone else getting a pen and paper and writing some of this down 😅😂

  • @methenits
    @methenits 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    This interview has bits for so many situations in your life.. I have watched it multiple times and each time I am able to relate differently to it. This is really a Heart to Heart Conversation and a perfect Virtual Therapy Session.
    Loved the way Lori Gottlieb answered all the questions and both Jay and Lori had such deeper insights to the so many of life situations. A conversation which was easy to relate and takes notes from.
    We need to see part 2 of this, Do the fellow viewers agree too ?

  • @rozsa-readgirl3476
    @rozsa-readgirl3476 4 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    "We marry our unfinished business" hit me hard...I used to be in a relationship for 5 years when he passed away and I married his brother. Needless to say the marriage didn't work in spite of him being amazing and me beating myself up for not being able to make it work.
    I regret not going to a therapist back then...

    • @edwardomanuel6996
      @edwardomanuel6996 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Love the honesty

    • @lh1053
      @lh1053 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      No regrets...lesson learned? Move forward, with grace, self compassion.

    • @redvelvetcakeYUM
      @redvelvetcakeYUM 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Wow. Reminiscent of a Stevie Nicks or Bobby Womack betrayal. Hopefully you find/found what it is you needed then.

    • @Malitubee
      @Malitubee ปีที่แล้ว

      His brother ? Wtf

  • @sadiaabro1801
    @sadiaabro1801 4 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    She is perfect to be a therapist. She is so vibrant !

    • @mauiswift6391
      @mauiswift6391 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Her book is fantastic!

    • @sadiaabro1801
      @sadiaabro1801 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mauiswift6391 could you pls share the name?

    • @mauiswift6391
      @mauiswift6391 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@sadiaabro1801 maybe you should talk to someone is the name of her book.

    • @sadiaabro1801
      @sadiaabro1801 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@mauiswift6391 thank youuuuuuu :)

    • @mauiswift6391
      @mauiswift6391 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sadiaabro1801 😀

  • @ravipeiris4388
    @ravipeiris4388 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Once I dated a therapist and lived together with her for two years. One of the most controlling and fucked up people I've ever been with. She could never stop being a therapist since during a therapy session, a therapist has absolute control. After leaving the office, she couldn't let go of that control and couldn't handle the healthy back and forth communication that is required of a relationship to work. I never felt safe with her to share my feelings,
    Ravi Peiris M.D.

  • @AniWey
    @AniWey 4 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    What you put out, energy and beliefs, you will attract! Start with valuing and loving yourself and you will become a magnet for love. You have the power to change your reality!

    • @henrylambert8621
      @henrylambert8621 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Good comet from any we y thanks very much

    • @lidiapanettiere7268
      @lidiapanettiere7268 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ani Wey I totally agree with you on that! It’s very true if you don’t love your self or believe in you no one will.

    • @NatalliaNemes
      @NatalliaNemes 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Cheers to that!

    • @henrylambert8621
      @henrylambert8621 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Great coment any we y thank you very much

    • @wishuponadream4345
      @wishuponadream4345 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      💗🌺🌹🤗💐🕊️💞

  • @LataviaNorris
    @LataviaNorris 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Self Compassion is how you grow & change! Love 🥰

    • @oscarwilliamson1264
      @oscarwilliamson1264 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Latavia,you look so pretty and so beautiful 💓❤🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹and I will be glad to know you more

    • @lioydwilliams1850
      @lioydwilliams1850 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Latavia Norris,you look stunning

  • @robsbusy
    @robsbusy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +192

    Hey Jay.... as much as I love your content and this Guest is outstanding.. the Interruptions with your Advertising is just too distracting and takes away the concentration of this Very Important discussion.. I know you need to have sponsors but these interruptions are intrusive and a bit too long .. Sorry.. but it really is distracting.. Cheers.

    • @ritevibe
      @ritevibe 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      i can only agree with this comment. Is there a way you can not have these block adverts...its WAY to intrusive and distracting. Sadly i won't be signing up., as i feel hijacked!

    • @blomegoog
      @blomegoog 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      YT is broken.
      The only real way to watch YT anymore is on a desktop.
      github.com/NanoAdblocker/NanoCore

    • @chrisrock1021
      @chrisrock1021 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Are you in need of a good and legit hacker? contact cyberspylove on instagram, cyberspylove@GMAILcom or send them a message on WhatsApp +1 213 290 4041 trust me he is one of the best out there, He helped me out despite i was being scammed severally I finally I found a legit hacker like JacksonAnderson

    • @audacitytheatre5570
      @audacitytheatre5570 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      The advertisements distract and deminsh the perception of your genuineness. If you will endorse life insurance, or any product, it makes me question your motivation.

    • @silviacodorean9234
      @silviacodorean9234 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Too many sponsors in one video, other content makers have sponsors but don’t mention more than one in a video, too bad for this valuable video :(

  • @KeikoBushnell
    @KeikoBushnell 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    “Getting the love you want” most insightful book I’ve ever read. It’s all about why you are attracted to certain people and how to find the “right” person/ people

    • @chrisrock1021
      @chrisrock1021 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Are you in need of a good and legit hacker? Kindly contact cyberspylove on Instagram, Email them on cyberspylove@GMAILcom or send them a message on Whatsapp +1 213 290-4041 trust me he is one of the best out there, He helped me out despite I was being scammed severally. I finally I found a legit hacker like Jackson Ander

    • @ladyofspa
      @ladyofspa 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      That was a hard read, I was so young, now I am starting to understand it. I prefer to do my inner work first. Rather then count on other to assist, and rather increase attracting a healthier person.

  • @forwoody797
    @forwoody797 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Was such an eye opener..! So nice to have a therapist on the show. Thank you!

  • @harmoni.e
    @harmoni.e 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Incredible. What an amazing interview. I am beyond grateful for all the people who helped to create this moment between Lori and Jay for all of us to witness and learn from. Thank you.

  • @ivonnemorris0
    @ivonnemorris0 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    What I really loved was the genuine, honest and easy way the two of you shared with each other about the fears and perhaps unconscious self narratives we as a human race experience ; while simultaneously also desiring to speak up, trusting our vulnerability would be not only safe but relatable enough to perhaps open a common doorway where we can finally feel the release and lightness this genesis of true freedom coming from the acceptance and love we all want, need and share in common. Mutually healing each other and our world.

  • @dilaudum1075
    @dilaudum1075 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Jay, please have Alain de Botton on the show to talk about the roots of romanticism! That'd be SO great

  • @khadeejakhan8455
    @khadeejakhan8455 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Thank you so much, just listening to Lori was a self-realization process in respect to our emotions. Something I really needed at this point of time. All the best for your book Lori. Truly touched me at present was the loss & grief - how to deal with this & numbness of emotions. God bless you both.

  • @nadinevaneeden1678
    @nadinevaneeden1678 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This has been one of the best 1:10.18 of the entire time I've been in lockdown. I'm sitting here thinking about everything I want to say about how much this podcast has helped me. And I will re-watch it again and again because this is precisely what I needed to hear in this moment in my life. Thank you Jay and Lori for helping me learn these life lessons and put them in practice.

  • @LuxMeow
    @LuxMeow 3 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    When I chose someone who was not familiar he was the most violent man I ever dated. I broke up with him the first time he pushed me. He'd been violent with all his ex's and one died in an scenario where they were arguing. My point is sometimes you meet a psychopath who can fool you and you can't blame a person for being deceived when the other person lies about who they are, lies about so many things to make you think you are choosing 'different'. So there's no fool proof way 100% of the time.

    • @manishbh1973
      @manishbh1973 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I am with you on this...

    • @blacksongbird100
      @blacksongbird100 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      True. You may not always catch things at first but your intuition will at some kick in and tell you that something is wrong. At that point, we decide to listen or not. More often than not, we ignore it.

    • @gabyloibl5172
      @gabyloibl5172 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@blacksongbird100 Even if we are aware enough and listen, you never know the outcome in advance. It is not a calculation that if we do A, B will happen. If you had listened, that this or that wouldn't have happened is a theory. I found that whole conversation interesting and agree with many things. Yet, life and people's behavior are not predictable at all.

    • @gabyloibl5172
      @gabyloibl5172 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Chris Rock uhm.. why are you still there? (Not sure what’s about this email address and phone number)

    • @LuxMeow
      @LuxMeow 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@blacksongbird100 It's something once you experience you will see how it's not so black & white, I hope you never have to. The issue is they're incredibly reasonable at explaining any doubts you might have or any questions raised. They are calm, charming and seem harmless because they know exactly the right words to make people self doubt.

  • @Fallintoplace
    @Fallintoplace 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This was beyond romantic relationships - it applies to every human relationship you have in your life. Amazing, loved the talk. So insightful and applicable in so many ways.

  • @kiransays
    @kiransays 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    True compassion is holding up a mirror to help someone see clearer - I love that notion because we truly become what we see and if we start seeing ourselves and our lives differently, we can start making changes! 💯🙌🙌

    • @oscarwilliamson1264
      @oscarwilliamson1264 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Kiran says, you're absolutely gorgeous 💓❤🌹🌹and I will be glad to know you more

    • @lioydwilliams1850
      @lioydwilliams1850 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Kiran Says,you got a nice smile

  • @reg8297
    @reg8297 4 ปีที่แล้ว +331

    You are attracted to the wrong person for one reason it's a subsconscious attempt to finally fix the traumatic relationship u once had With one of your parents as a child

    • @MultiFreddy34
      @MultiFreddy34 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      imago.

    • @gsue33
      @gsue33 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I really do believe this.

    • @silentgrove7670
      @silentgrove7670 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That is the central idea of imago theory.

    • @yx-z1038
      @yx-z1038 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That's f***ing True ! @Reg

    • @lisacampbell9601
      @lisacampbell9601 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Or the lack there of...

  • @myshoppingstoryxoxo
    @myshoppingstoryxoxo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I have been listening your podcast since the first episode with Radhi and I love 90% of them but this one is the most zen. I played this while lying down, closed my eyes and when this ended it felt like I have meditated. Thank you so much for this 🙏🏻😍

  • @shehan3553
    @shehan3553 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    She actualy talk about things without hiding and it feels great .

  • @keeganlshoemate6291
    @keeganlshoemate6291 4 ปีที่แล้ว +265

    Can everyone pray for me

    • @omobolanlelawal2997
      @omobolanlelawal2997 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Ms.Keegan L 101
      You are lifted in Jesus name; whatever your needs are, May God’s all sufficient power meet them.

    • @bridgetetu5521
      @bridgetetu5521 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      May the God of all consolation help you. May Jesus be your strength and comfort. Sending you love and light

    • @kimturner9309
      @kimturner9309 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Nikki E. Not cute.

    • @kimturner9309
      @kimturner9309 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I will pray for you. I know you asked for prayer a while back. I hope things are going better for you❤️

    • @estherngongi3977
      @estherngongi3977 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sending positive vibes... I hope you are doing well 🌹🌹🌹

  • @sweetpapayasourpeach
    @sweetpapayasourpeach 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Wow that was touching! I think it's so interesting that she became a therapist later on in life and I kinda got the chills when she mentioned what her work was before hand because I'm going down a similar road and I've already had people tell me that I should be a social worker or therapist. I wonder if it's my destiny. I'm so grateful to have been able to listen to that very heartfelt and open discussion on feelings and relationships, especially the bit about being a good friend. I think friendship is such an underrated topic. I would love to hear more about that. I hope that everyone involved in the production of this video is doing well and that you all keep doing great work that is so beneficial to people everywhere who understand the English language. ;)

  • @sabrinacox4107
    @sabrinacox4107 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I absolutely love... ask yourself is it kind, truthful and helpful. When my children are feeling frustrated they tend to pick on each other, I always ask them to stop and ask them self if its nice or necessary.

  • @vevoni3666
    @vevoni3666 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    One of the best, powerful conversation, some words seem to be talking to me , thank you Jay for sharing this interview !

  • @letice_leaf
    @letice_leaf 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The entire emphasis on kindness really got to me. I really want to practice being kind to others and myself but I feel like it's really hard to do. Not ignoring my feelings and blaming are definitely things I need to work on.

  • @user-xs5fq4un4m
    @user-xs5fq4un4m 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This lady is amazing and incredible while answering those questions. Jay, you are doing a wonderful job.

  • @fumanelusenga951
    @fumanelusenga951 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    By listening only we can help someone hear themselves clearly. Wow that's so true and it makes sense why sometimes we get so frustrated when we feel we are not being listened to, it's because talking goes a long way

  • @almaengberg313
    @almaengberg313 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Beautiful interview, great lead and Lori is such a cool authentic personality! I really liked this video, I feel like some of Jay's video have felt different lately but this was the style I always loved. Just positive, genuine and seeing Jay more inspired than usual. Now, I really loved Lori's style. Trying to find my path, this is the kind of therapist that makes me want to share and work hard. I resonate with a lot that she said, and the tips for helping a grieving friend was really good!

  • @talahashim
    @talahashim 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Love this! "I am my own jailer", powerful words.

  • @christopherdesigngroup3315
    @christopherdesigngroup3315 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I love what she says about making a change that is "in alignment with who you want to be in the world". I agree, but that can be a scary situation for people who get threatened or sabotaged, especially for their "consciousness" activities or attempts at financial independence. I have such toxic family relationships...geez.

  • @miraa9554
    @miraa9554 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is one of the most insightful videos. Thanks for sharing Lori Gottlieb and Jay Shetty. Keep up the good works guys !!!!!!

  • @chrissyg9576
    @chrissyg9576 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is a very insightful, information, and useful interview. She’s very down-to- earth and engaging. Thank you, Jay for interviewing her.

  • @jennifercarroll7668
    @jennifercarroll7668 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Fantastic interview.
    Lori is such a warm, remarkable woman, with such fabulous insights.

  • @rukhsanabanu2485
    @rukhsanabanu2485 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Jay tis is the best interview. It's so useful for me. I love psychology & Im becoming a therapist/counsellor. So tis interview is adding to my knowledge to help me understand & how to deal with ppl better.(I juz dont have a lot of time to listen to the whole interview)Luv 💞

  • @traciezou3768
    @traciezou3768 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I had so many notes taken for this one, this is amazing! Thanks Jay and Lori!

  • @thenewyorkcitizen
    @thenewyorkcitizen ปีที่แล้ว

    Great conversation between you two. I love how she talks about editing peoples faulty narratives. Powerful

  • @shylascalf
    @shylascalf 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    The best thing I learned from this is how self compassion is a better motivator than self flagellation. I constantly tell myself really mean things in hopes of bettering myself but it just makes me more depressed! I’m seriously going to try self kindness. I also liked the idea of being honest with others and really listening and being there for them and sit with them. Great conversation!! I love this stuff.

  • @deannarae3068
    @deannarae3068 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Great interview. This was my favorite by far!

  • @Cookingcousin
    @Cookingcousin 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Second interview I’ve seen of hers and I’m even more intrigued. This has been such an eye opening talk.

  • @danzad3524
    @danzad3524 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Being able to honestly and freely share your story enables you to not only share your truth, but gives you the opportunity to face yourself and perhaps, courageously, step-by-step be able to change your narrative. Thank you Jay for exposing us to these gems and helping us gather positive and proactive tools to further investigate and develop our own individual “purpose”. 🙏🏼

  • @amandanicolemorgan
    @amandanicolemorgan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Lori? Thank you so much!!! What is familiar can be the most damaging place to be!!! Thanks again!!

  • @iceman198791
    @iceman198791 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Lori is just amazing. Thank you Jay for sharing such a beautiful mind with us.

  • @shikastormcrow6224
    @shikastormcrow6224 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I loved this, felt like a mini therapy session simply watching, listening, observing and reflecting. Thank you so much Lori and Jay

  • @kasiai5437
    @kasiai5437 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Wow. I learned a lot! Thank you. So shocked when Jay provided the example "I'll change for 3 months" - I thought only I thought like that. Thank you.

  • @patriciaraymond3923
    @patriciaraymond3923 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Good work
    Keep educating people and always be blessed
    🤝🙏

  • @daniellamoreno3616
    @daniellamoreno3616 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This makes so much sense!
    Brings things in perspective.

  • @faraiwakandigara4004
    @faraiwakandigara4004 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Jay your content is amazing and I feel so grateful that you take time to help us in this way. That's true compassion, honestly doing things for our development. I love your work and please stay Blessed. Thanks Jay❤

  • @zahraamanah8366
    @zahraamanah8366 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Jay for bringing such a powerful interview, and thank you Lori for sharing so many insightful gems with us. One of the best interviews I’ve seen on TH-cam 👌

  • @AnushreeBose
    @AnushreeBose 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Wonderful podcast! Loved Lori and this was just so refreshing!!

  • @rebeccaajeann
    @rebeccaajeann 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    5 minutes in and oh my god. This is just the best video to watch and I will be sharing to play friends and family.

  • @natashajoarder7415
    @natashajoarder7415 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Lori is the perfect therapist one would look out for healing.
    Shes genuine,great listener and has that warm aura which is so very important for being a therapist. She makes people feel comfortable in her presence..empath thing totally ❤😊

  • @athena7071
    @athena7071 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Wow, her fill in the blanks section was outstanding!

  • @eleonorelemonnier9277
    @eleonorelemonnier9277 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This therapist is amazing, great listener, vast knowledge of her craft, I love listening to her, to both of them actually.

    • @chrisrock1021
      @chrisrock1021 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      HELLO, Are you in need of a good and legit hacker? contact cyberspylove on instagram, cyberspylove@GMAILcom or send them a message on WhatsApp +1 213 290 4041 trust me he is one of the best out there, He helped me out despite i was being scammed severally i finally I found a legit hacker like JacksonAnderson

  • @Koko_rae
    @Koko_rae 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thanks for this podcast Jay 💜

  • @rcz2023
    @rcz2023 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you , great interview.

  • @doreengrennan9612
    @doreengrennan9612 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Lori was wonderful in answering the final questions...quick and direct...both sets of questions,,,thank you Lori

  • @charlenechua2835
    @charlenechua2835 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    it's so important to heal our traumas. work with a therapist (try and test- i work with a combo of cbt and intuitive or chakra healing) for almost 6 mos. now and I'm getting clearer on who I am, the positivity of self-love and clarity in my life and how it has blessed my life and reflected on others.

  • @marisalynn6518
    @marisalynn6518 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I love this!! I’ve been trying to be honest with myself but it’s extremely hard, one day at time for now.

  • @Tvp247
    @Tvp247 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Sooo much value in this podcast! I love insight ❤ can't get enough of it! I see a lot of idiot compassion and at the same time I believe ppl are wanting to be kind in this sense but this podcast has given insight as to how this kind of compassion can evolve into a healthier process. Thank you so much for this, really really appreciate it guys ❤

  • @wezichirwa5398
    @wezichirwa5398 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you for this talk Jay and Lori... You're both gems. ❤️

  • @fatanc6291
    @fatanc6291 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I absolutely love this! Have rewatched multiple times and it’s completely changing my thought process❤️❤️❤️

    • @chrisrock1021
      @chrisrock1021 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Are you in need of a good and legit hacker? contact cyberspylove on instagram, cyberspylove@GMAILcom or send them a message on WhatsApp +1 213 290 4041 trust me he is one of the best out there, He helped me out despite i was being scammed severally i finally I found a legit hacker like JacksonAnderson

  • @yugutragui6125
    @yugutragui6125 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This interview covers an incredible amount of topics and I'm impressed that it took only 1 hour long. The therapist was straight to the point and your questions were very thoughful. I find it smooth and pleasant to hear, thank you Jay !

  • @sandracarrollo
    @sandracarrollo 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    this woman made me cry with only the last five questions. Such powerful talk.

  • @lorrainecouture2684
    @lorrainecouture2684 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Such a great interview. So powerful! Thank you so much!

  • @arianabarrios8664
    @arianabarrios8664 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This was a really good podcast. I learned a lot.

  • @PriyankaSharma-ui5yc
    @PriyankaSharma-ui5yc 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    It feels like this podcast was specially made for me. I'm really grateful for both of you sir and mam for making this conversation 🙏🏻 Thank you ❤️

    • @Rock-mn5kq
      @Rock-mn5kq 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sab thik ho Jayega :) .
      btw I felt the exact same.. that the podcast is designed for me for my current situition :)
      seems u too are in the same boat .

  • @user-ft2zz3um6l
    @user-ft2zz3um6l 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is gold! I am going to rewatch this to not forget!

  • @valandrea1976
    @valandrea1976 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for this fabulous moment💜

  • @MadeleneYlen
    @MadeleneYlen 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Absolutely incredible discussion . Thanks for sharing!

    • @oscarwilliamson1264
      @oscarwilliamson1264 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Madelene, you are absolutely gorgeous 💓❤🌹🌹🌹and I will be glad to know you more

    • @lioydwilliams1850
      @lioydwilliams1850 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Madelene,you looking good!

  • @TeenageDays
    @TeenageDays 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Opposite poles attract to each other is the best thing I learned. It applies universally.
    Btw sir a big fan of yours hope to make as big as you someday.

  • @yusufpasha3907
    @yusufpasha3907 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Amazing video!! Loved it! Keep posting des kind of videos

  • @lindahebb4832
    @lindahebb4832 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for posting