Thanks for posting this. I wrote this for 2 reasons. So people who have been touched by suicide, either themselves or someone they knew, would know that in one of the most isolating states a person can be in, they aren’t alone. Also for those who haven’t been and have a hard time understanding, hopefully being able to convey in a very straightforward and visceral way, the reality of the things so many people face so that empathy and hope can be found, and support given. There’s a lot of strong emotions shared in the comments and that’s the goal. The reaction of a listener is for them, so good or bad I hope that anyone who hears this starts a dialogue with themself or someone else that leads to growth.
Holy sheepshit!!! The lyrics/song as a whole are amazing. The way you all perform it makes everything riveting. Reminds me of Oleander - ‘How Can I’, but only in essence, your work here is far more visceral. Keep feeling your art to let others feel it too…truly amazing. Also, thank you @michael palmisano. You’re about as real as it gets on TH-cam. Thanks for being as genuine as you come across to see a work like this and share it with your people. Good shit all around. Wow.
Thank you for once again featuring a performance from an OurVinyl Session. From song to song, Evan's session is one of the most powerful, emotional, and raw that we've ever captured. The stories and conversations his lyrics have brought to light have been intense and moving to say the least. It's awesome to see more people every day discovering his music. Thanks for being a part of that.
You’re like the rare bartender that sits down a perfect drink before you even know what you want to order. Every time I visit your channel I’m adding music to my library 👍 I’ve always been accused of listening to dark songs and I’ve had the same response for over 40yrs, “ it’s not dark, you’re just closing your eyes to the fire”
I am sitting here with tears streaming and an agony in my heart..I have loaded my shotgun earlier in my life and it was hearing blues that stopped me..this has motivated me to put down electric and pick up my acoustic,pen and paper again..a million thanks❤️
Pointing out the quiet desperation line from Floyd hit me hard as a teenager. I've been playing guitar and writing my own music for 25 years now. I play alone or with my brother nearly every night at the end of a hard day. I've never had the ambition or desire to perform for people. I never got comfortable with it. I realized early on why, and it somehow fits into your insights on all of this. I play for myself I guess, and when I'm really tuned in the music just appears. It's like I discovered it or its somehow given to me, rather than me consciously creating it. I'm glad I found this video. You're a rare one my friend.
When I write I will occasionally feel that I’m connecting to… someone, some THING perhaps, of another place or even an entirely different existence, and it feels as if it’s using me as a conduit for emotion, and I using it in similar fashion, as if we’re sharing this moment. It’s a bit of trance-like state and I’ll usually come out of it with my face and even shirt wet from tears. It doesn’t happen often, really, and I can’t ever force it (always unpredictable and unexpected) but it’s the absolute most amazing part of writing for me, and one of the things That keeps me doing it. I’m light as a feather for days afterwards. I realize that I sound like a crazy person, but whatever it is that happens, happens, and it’s a powerful thing, and somehow an honor. Keep doing what you do. 👍
Btw I’m responding to you saying you felt like it was given to you somehow. You’re connecting, too. With something. Somewhere. I believe it’s a real thing, and very hard to open that door and even harder to keep it open for long. Appreciate it while it’s happening.
@@Paulhartrocks you pretty much nailed it perfectly my friend. A conduit, yes. It's a hard thing to describe and at the risk of sounding crazy to someone that hasn't experienced it. It's few and far between moments when this happens, when you're not consciously trying to create something and instead something is creating through you or something. Over years of playing it certainly doesn't happen every night I play, but when it does it's a special and bizarre experience. Over that many years there's been a good handful of times where its happened while playing with my brother, and we were together in that spot for literally over an hour strait creating, and then spontaneously and abruptly end the song, as if it was composed that way. Then open your eyes and feel like you're coming out of a meditative dream of sorts with a bit of confusion of what just happened.
Never stop playing G Gg it’s amazing therapy. I was never into music in high school was to caught up in sports and other things. One day 1 ox my friends introduced me to Pink Floyd , ben hooked every since. Did not go to my first concert until i met my wife who is in to music big time. Got her a guitar for xmas trying to get her to play again, she has not played since high school we are both 50 now.
One day will be a better day. Maybe not tomorrow, next week, or even next month...but one day will make all those days of hell worth it and make you thankful to yourself that you fought through the shit to get to that moment. Here’s to better days brother...keep pushing forward to get to the good👊
I don’t know if this will help you, but I’ve had a long battle with depression, and had a complete breakdown after caring for my parents, as first one, then the other, slowly suffered from dementia. A decade of grieving every day as I helplessly watched them disintegrate, knowing only death would free them was unbearable. What allowed me to survive, and begin to very slowly, over a decade, find life bearable, was learning from two people. Eckhart Tolle, and Dr. Gabor Mate, along with music. Maybe they can help you survive the dark night of the soul.
Wow. I was not expecting this. The sadness, the pain, the tragedy are dripping off every note, every word. Simply brilliant. You know there is something special there when Michael puts down his guitar and takes it in. 'Powerful' is an understatement.
Holy SHIT that shook me! It wasn’t the least bit contrived or forced! That was his therapy! Goddamn! Chills! Bravo!!!!!!! That reminded me of Isbell in some ways!
James Blunt, too. Suffering from PTSD after serving in Kosovo, writing his songs from the depths of despair, then trying to handle musical success, had to be incredibly painful. In his early performances, his voice is trembling, and he raises his eyes in an effort to hang on to enough control to keep from breaking down. I heard another musician casually discussing his popular songs, and he said he was in a desperate state when he wrote his biggest hits. From desperation, creation.
Thanks Michael, i needed this today. I have little inspiration to play music anymore and have lost most of my friends in the last 10 years from breakups. Some days the only reason I'm still here is because i don't want my parents to be sad.
I had chills throughout. And I think that's the best way to describe it. It is a chilling, hauntingly beautiful song. It cries out with so much internal pain. So rawly open. And that is so powerful.
Michael, to see you react physically to this song validates how I react to some songs. The one thing that drives me to artists is "soul." The soul in this song makes us all feel like the protagonist, we are all living a few seconds of this song's journey. This is why I watch your channel. You recognize the soul and you point it out. Thanks.
I was in tears halfway through the song. I lost a close friend a number of years ago, I still think about her and I probably always will. You said it Michael, man what a song, what a song.
My life has been touched by people who have taken their life and wanted to take their life. I'll never know how they felt, but you and this song gave me a good glimpse. Thank you
Oh my gosh Michael I have been trying so hard to get people to react to Evan for months upon months now. I’ve even suggested him here in your comments before and now FINALLY somebody has done it !!! I’ve been obsessed with this guy’s voice and song writing. I literally listen to him multiple times a week, along with Morgan Wade, because they sing with such rawness and true emotions. Thank you !! Thank you !!! Also I sent the link to this video to Evan on Facebook so he can see people are appreciating his music. 👊🏻
Thanks for sharing this Michael. At first I hesitated due to the subject matter ( I make a point not to glorify death/suicide) but everything about this song just shook me to my core and I couldn't imagine not sharing it. Keep on doing what you do brother.
My words have now abandoned me...as a survivor of suicide (my son), this hurts, its hits hard. Sounds like my son's last Facebook post on that fateful day, and i might guess Evan has lost a loved one too, and this song is part of his grieving process. But i dont know.
At 11:45, "The only thing holding back the great hereafter... is bad primers with good timing." For anyone who doesn't know, a primer is what sets off the charge in a cartridge/shotgun shell.... The shell was a dud. So, even though the song is dark, to me this line seems to sound like he avoided going through with it... it brings hope back into it. But just after that, at 12:04, I think the guitar is intended to sound like a shotgun racking and firing (and in fact he replaces the word "shotgun" with the whole effect). So maybe the hope isn't there after all? Great instrumentation and an amazing voice though. Tough topic.
I saw Evan a few years ago at a venue I was working at. He was song swapping with another guy and everytime Evan sang I stopped working and just stared with the exact same expression on my face. The dude is legit
Damn is all I can say, Evan sings the truth of where the pain comes from, extremely heavy song with amazing vocals and lyrics. My favorite quote about music "Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything". - Plato ✌️
I've listened to this song a bunch of times and all I could do was be silent while I listen. Seeing how you were affected by it finally broke the dam in me. I just realized how it's easier to let go of things when you see other people share the same emotion you carry heavily inside... Also, I just noticed the words SILENT and LISTEN share the same letters.
Ok im back. I wanna say something about this song, as someone who has suffered depression and a breakdown. This is a very accurate depiction of anguish, pain that is unrelenting and pervasive. Its true ppl who feel this lie, because other's words or pity dont help. The crescendo of the song is true the words display the absence of hope, he doesnt want to do it - its a desperate attempt to escape to something different. yet notice he ruminates on the idea of loading the shotgun... BUT! At the end of the song, he hasnt done it yet. He might not feel hope, but up untill the last moment the song ends with hope that someone CAN enter the story and stop him going through with it. You may feel like there is no hope of a reprieve from anguish, but the singer leaves the possibility open for someone to come into his story to rescue him, my hope is that if your feeling like this you leave the end open as well. Dont end your story, but live to sing your song.
It’s also about a failed attempt, “bad primer and good timing”, meaning the trigger was pulled but there was a misfire. Powerful song, hope it can help someone in need.
Powerful song! I just watched the music video again and most of the comments were people saying they were here because of you! I struggle with mental illness so thank you for this.
Wow this song is, it is.. just wow... I can tell when a song is speaking to you by your expression while listening and if all us fan's took a picture while watching,we all have the same expression and I can't thank you enough for sharing this with us! I have things in my past this song touched
Michael, I love how you connect to the soul of the songs that you feature on your channel. I have always been the guy that gets goosebumps from songs and i listen to the same song countless times and I still get the same feeling. I suspect you are the same. Some songs are straight from the soul and you never fail to recognize them. Your channel is just great. NEVER stop showcasing artists and art that is real.
First: that song is out of this world! One of the heaviest, truest pieces of art I’ve ever heard. But you already put it perfectly. Second though: thank you so much Michael that you created this platform on which I can find such gems that would have passed me without you. I’ve been watching your videos for a long time now and will keep on doing so. Thank you, man!!
Desperation is the mother of true art. To me, all the best music comes out of desperation like this one. Real and from heart to heart, no escape. Thanks for doing this one!
I feel like he described a state of mind that I have been in before so perfectly. That's something that I was never able to do for myself. This song is absolutely incredible.
Wow! Love to see artists revealing their soul! I haven't played in 16years so last year I bought a bunch of equipment because I finally got the Carpal Tunnel surgery and the song needs to come out still! Having a hard time learning FL Studio my son gave me. Thanks for giving this a play!
You NAILED this! Evan is a brilliant singer songwriter!! Been telling anyone and everyone who will listen to check out his music for several years now!! Thank you for featuring him on ur channel! He is simply amazing at what he does!
Once again, I appreciate how dedicated you are to sharing the incredible work of these lesser known, modern musicians that are amazing and deserve more recognition. Few other of the youtube music teachers (for lack of a better term) are committing to this like you. When I hear other youtubers make comments like "today's music is terrible" it makes me sad because I feel like they are overlooking musicians like this guy. Thanks again!
Man....this is the one I'm glad you shared. This guy is amazing. I've been listening to all of his stuff since you posted this. He's an unbelievable writer. And possibly one of the best I've ever heard in my life. No joke. Dive deeper into his stuff...I'm sure you have already. But if not....do it. He's incredible.
Don't think I've ever clicked a video so quickly before! Evan was my request back on the Tuesday Live, and I'm thrilled to see his music resonated with people as much as it does for me! Michael, as always thanks for all you do! Can't wait to see your thoughts on this track.
Hi Michael! Pardon my English - I am not a native speaker; I'll do my best to express my thoughts. I've always believed that the core of everything we do is the intention. "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal." TH-cam is flooded with all kinds of 'XYZ coach reacts to ABC topic' videos. Many of them are soaked with a fairly unobtrusive scavenging approach. Yours are so different. I have already watched a dozen or so and they all are full of myriads of your efforts to dig out some nugget, find a pearl, draw audience's attention to something hidden in the song, harmony, performance, expression, co-laboration between band members and art itself. I almost feel your perseverance to excavate those treasures and share them with your watchers. Pardon me if it sounds corny or mawkish but Mate, your intentions are obviously so full of love here! Please accept my appreciation and gratitude. You have already made my few days brighter, tastier and heartfelt. Please don't ever stop. Bless you!
It was indeed Henry David Thoreau. Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them. I’ve read somewhere the most dangerous time for suicide in people suffering from deep depression is when they begin to feel a slight increase in mood. When they are completely bedridden, unable to function at all, they are badly suffering. Too suffering to do anything. But as they start to feel the slight improvement that allows them to get up, they are then capable of finding the means to end their suffering. Anyone in a bad way, please reach out. To anyone.
I watch most of your videos, and get your notifications, and it was so surreal to see Evan's name pop up! He's a friend of mine! Small correction: the line is "my words have now abandoned me." Nice video and congrats Evan!
Another great reaction lesson and this level of feeling is why you are the man :). I wish that folks knew how much of what they feel is not theirs to carry. At least 50% of EVERYTHING we think and feel is not ours to carry. People like this fella, and you and many of us are in the 80% or higher. First question you have to ask when you feel like this is, “how much of this is mine?”…. You can pick it up from anywhere but the most common are family, friends, ancestors, the collective human energy. We don’t have to suffer… Alan
Holy mother, this hit me hard. What a load of emotions! I literally can feel all of his emotions brought into the song. Thanks for bringing this masterpieces of music to us Michael!
I loved this song and your exploration of the theme. One observation/connection and a personal witness. 1. Your comment about the words become a man in me remind me of Rush's 2112. From the Soliloquy... I wish that it might come to pass Not fade like all my dreams Just think of what my life might be In a world like I have seen I don’t think I can carry on This cold and empty life My spirits are low, in the depths of despair My lifeblood Spills over…. Personal witness. I'm a 2nd career pastor who entered seminary at 37. While in seminary I recieved a call from my best friend that his youngest brother, who was in his 20's had committed suicide. He had a ton of health issues and cancers from birth and the family believed he got another diagnosis that he just couldn't deal with. He asked if I would officiate the funeral. Luckily I was in in my advanced pastoral care class and an advanced preaching class and had just gone over weddings and funerals. I spoke with both professors about how I should handle this. This was a young man that I had known since birth. The pastoral care professor said something profound to me that I think connects to this song and your observation. 'You need to tell the little David, the 10 or 12 year old David to step aside for a short while, but promise him that once your Duty as the pastor is complete, you'll care for him and let him grieve. If you don't take care of him, it will come out later in very unhealthy ways and habits.' Even as adults, we still have that little boy or girl that learned certain things about life, about love, about hurt, about what healthy and unhealthy relationships look like and sometimes those are not congruent with who we would like to be or have become. Sometimes our unresolved little... cause to act in ways that are not in alignment with who we were created to be and many times it's that disconnect that leads to subject of this song.
Michael Palmisano, I have watched lots of your videos of which are all excellent. I always come away from them wanting to be a better person. Thanks for being a positive influence. Love the “take always” from your lessons learned and personal meanings that you find in songs. Keep the videos coming. You have a great heart and have a true talent my friend.
speechless and in tears..lost my best friend, husband and musical companion of 52 years just a short while ago...It has taken me a long time to even pick up my guitar again, but I have, and it HURTS!!! but it also heals...music heals.... TY for sharing this song...with love...
Finally a human listining to other human's words... Thank You both so much for this amazing moment in time! I've been watching too many videos about composing or breaking down the music / vocal skills. Those were just sounds. But only honest words carried by honest emotions can give them true meaning...
@@isthatwhatemptymeans8222 I never even thought of it like that, but you’re right. If it’s your favorite, you probably know the story of Charles Starckweather and the evil he caused in Nebraska in the 1950’s...hence the song titled “Nebraska”. I doubt any of that had anything to do with Evan’s inspiration here but you could absolutely tie it in to that album/movie. Good stuff...your comment made me listen to “Nebraska” again for the first time in a long time.👊
The Pass by Rush helped me through some rough times as a teenager, I was never suicidal but the message that you walk the razor’s edge at times really resonated. It didn’t give some bullshit narrative that things were going to be great or even better but just walk the razor’s edge and keep living.
Thank you, Evan, for such a GREAT song. I have a friend dealing with this issue. I love her. And I wish I could help her somehow in those darkest moments. This song just resonates. And Michael, brother, thanks so much for promoting this GREAT song.
Thought I would post the lyrics for those that are interested... If I'm being honest I'm gonna lie to you When you ask me how I'm doing Ill use all the words we both know You want me to If I'm being honest I've been thinking about the day Where I don't feel anything at all I don't fear anything at all I'mma gonna go gonna load my shotgun Point that barrel right where it hurts Ain't no telling where ill go after Might not be better but it can't get worse I cried out In siren desperation I cried out I called your name My god my god Why have you forsaken me? I cried out, when my words have now abandoned me I'm gonna go gonna load my shotgun Point that barrel right where it hurts Ain't no telling where ill go after Might not be better but it can't get worse And I could tell u but U can't imagine That first breathe from the edge of deaths chasm You ain't cried like that since you come out your mother Omens ain't holding back the great here after????? Its bad primings, its good timing I'm gonna go gonna load my shotgun Point that barrel right where it hurts Ain't no telling where ill go after Might not be better but it can't get worse
I love watching your reactions to this one. It's like when I first heard it. Evan Bartels is a great songwriter and performer. I remember when i was discussing his Our Vinyl performance with my mom, and I told her that every word, pause and breath of his performance are the gospel truth. Anyone who's ever felt that kind of separation can identify with it. It feels to me like when I was a kid hearing the singers at my dad's church singing an empassioned rendition of a hymn. It's the truth all the way down; he feels it.
Michael.. want to same your awesome. Found your channel and just been binge watching your videos. Your teaching me so much. Fantastic communicator brother
“Ive been thinking about the day that I don’t feel anything at all. I’m gonna go, gonna load my shotgun. Point that barrel right where it hurts. Ain’t no telling where I’ll go after. Might not be better, but it can’t get worse.” Thank you… so much. Evan Bartels and Michael. This hits so deep. I was there before… ugh it’s such a deep pain. This is beautiful and so painful. Thank you again. It does help. Even though it still hurts so bad.
That was absolutely amazing… unbelievable how a song can have such a deep meaning and drive the point so hard and accurately. I probably would have never found this song and for that, thank you 🙏
I’ve never played an instrument or sang in my life, but music has become such a therapy for me( that and my faith). Evan is at the top of that list . All his songs are so powerful!!!! I listen to The Way it Breaks almost every morning on my way to work it helps my to get through the day, it helps me to realize that I’m not there for them but I’m there for my family even know its a far cry from my ideal job.
Thank you for focusing on the MOST IMPORTANT part of playing guitar ...... What you play, not how technically well you play! The quality of the song, greatly outweighs the twiddly-diddly tricks! I love that you focus on how a song makes you feel, and brings you into the world the songwriter is inhabiting and how it brings emotions and memories out of your own life! Your music theory knowledge goes right over my head, but your understanding of musicality and emotion hits me where I live! Thank you again!
Art is about connection. That's why we sing. To connect with others, to feel less alone. To share the stories that make us HUMAN, even when those stories are sad. Mike, you hooked me with your reactions to the dead. I'm no guitarist (I have small, undextrous hands with a gimpy left pinky) -- I'm a vocalist/soloist at best, but your videos, and seeing how music *transports* you -- it does to me, too, it helps me FEEL and put words on my feelings. Watching your reactions makes me feel less alone. Thank you.;
Omg what a feel train TH-cam is getting me thru today this is the third video I have experienced such life changing emotions thru a song I can barely take it anymore.. I can't be happier
First time hearing this guy. Oh my god, man. thank you for doing a reaction to this. This is such a beautiful song, and it kinda woke me up to my situation. I could die tomorrow and I wouldn't care.
Thanks for posting this. I wrote this for 2 reasons. So people who have been touched by suicide, either themselves or someone they knew, would know that in one of the most isolating states a person can be in, they aren’t alone.
Also for those who haven’t been and have a hard time understanding, hopefully being able to convey in a very straightforward and visceral way, the reality of the things so many people face so that empathy and hope can be found, and support given.
There’s a lot of strong emotions shared in the comments and that’s the goal. The reaction of a listener is for them, so good or bad I hope that anyone who hears this starts a dialogue with themself or someone else that leads to growth.
This is amazing. Thank you. ❤️
Mission accomplished sir! Hell of a performance
This is totally brilliant. Thank you!
Holy sheepshit!!! The lyrics/song as a whole are amazing. The way you all perform it makes everything riveting. Reminds me of Oleander - ‘How Can I’, but only in essence, your work here is far more visceral. Keep feeling your art to let others feel it too…truly amazing. Also, thank you @michael palmisano. You’re about as real as it gets on TH-cam. Thanks for being as genuine as you come across to see a work like this and share it with your people. Good shit all around. Wow.
Sorry, it was ‘How Could I?’ By Oleander. Still worth a listen
Thank you for once again featuring a performance from an OurVinyl Session. From song to song, Evan's session is one of the most powerful, emotional, and raw that we've ever captured. The stories and conversations his lyrics have brought to light have been intense and moving to say the least. It's awesome to see more people every day discovering his music. Thanks for being a part of that.
It’s my pleasure!! You get some great stuff. We should collaborate somehow. Want to join me on my channel and showcase some artists?
You guys produced the hell out of this. Perfect audio, perfect visuals, perfect performance. Absolutely amazing!!
I had the good fortune of growing up with Evan Bartels… he’s a wonderful man, a beautiful mind, and a great friend.
His music is soo fucking powerful . The impact it has isn’t even remotely comparable to this mainstream bullshit
You’re like the rare bartender that sits down a perfect drink before you even know what you want to order.
Every time I visit your channel I’m adding music to my library 👍
I’ve always been accused of listening to dark songs and I’ve had the same response for over 40yrs, “ it’s not dark, you’re just closing your eyes to the fire”
Pretty sure you're a Townes Van Zandt fan in the making if you're not already. Nobody saw the fire like he did.
"it’s not dark, you’re just closing your eyes to the...", that's the best line I've ever read about this topic!
Few people see the beauty in the sadness...
I am sitting here with tears streaming and an agony in my heart..I have loaded my shotgun earlier in my life and it was hearing blues that stopped me..this has motivated me to put down electric and pick up my acoustic,pen and paper again..a million thanks❤️
Glad you hung in there Kevin! Music can heal the soul.
So glad you’re here bud!
@@buddy7467 ♥️
@@sharplikecheddar2 ♥️
Way to power through champion nothing ever stays the same glad to have you on this earth
Pointing out the quiet desperation line from Floyd hit me hard as a teenager. I've been playing guitar and writing my own music for 25 years now. I play alone or with my brother nearly every night at the end of a hard day. I've never had the ambition or desire to perform for people. I never got comfortable with it. I realized early on why, and it somehow fits into your insights on all of this. I play for myself I guess, and when I'm really tuned in the music just appears. It's like I discovered it or its somehow given to me, rather than me consciously creating it. I'm glad I found this video. You're a rare one my friend.
You too brother. Lots of love.
When I write I will occasionally feel that I’m connecting to… someone, some THING perhaps, of another place or even an entirely different existence, and it feels as if it’s using me as a conduit for emotion, and I using it in similar fashion, as if we’re sharing this moment. It’s a bit of trance-like state and I’ll usually come out of it with my face and even shirt wet from tears. It doesn’t happen often, really, and I can’t ever force it (always unpredictable and unexpected) but it’s the absolute most amazing part of writing for me, and one of the things That keeps me doing it. I’m light as a feather for days afterwards. I realize that I sound like a crazy person, but whatever it is that happens, happens, and it’s a powerful thing, and somehow an honor.
Keep doing what you do. 👍
Btw I’m responding to you saying you felt like it was given to you somehow. You’re connecting, too. With something. Somewhere. I believe it’s a real thing, and very hard to open that door and even harder to keep it open for long. Appreciate it while it’s happening.
@@Paulhartrocks you pretty much nailed it perfectly my friend. A conduit, yes. It's a hard thing to describe and at the risk of sounding crazy to someone that hasn't experienced it. It's few and far between moments when this happens, when you're not consciously trying to create something and instead something is creating through you or something. Over years of playing it certainly doesn't happen every night I play, but when it does it's a special and bizarre experience. Over that many years there's been a good handful of times where its happened while playing with my brother, and we were together in that spot for literally over an hour strait creating, and then spontaneously and abruptly end the song, as if it was composed that way. Then open your eyes and feel like you're coming out of a meditative dream of sorts with a bit of confusion of what just happened.
Never stop playing G Gg it’s amazing therapy. I was never into music in high school was to caught up in sports and other things. One day 1 ox my friends introduced me to Pink Floyd , ben hooked every since. Did not go to my first concert until i met my wife who is in to music big time. Got her a guitar for xmas trying to get her to play again, she has not played since high school we are both 50 now.
My God man I needed this today. Glad I'm not alone in this dark place. One love 💜🙏
One day will be a better day. Maybe not tomorrow, next week, or even next month...but one day will make all those days of hell worth it and make you thankful to yourself that you fought through the shit to get to that moment. Here’s to better days brother...keep pushing forward to get to the good👊
I don’t know if this will help you, but I’ve had a long battle with depression, and had a complete breakdown after caring for my parents, as first one, then the other, slowly suffered from dementia. A decade of grieving every day as I helplessly watched them disintegrate, knowing only death would free them was unbearable.
What allowed me to survive, and begin to very slowly, over a decade, find life bearable, was learning from two people. Eckhart Tolle, and Dr. Gabor Mate, along with music. Maybe they can help you survive the dark night of the soul.
Michael ' you are an exceptional person. You see music as I do. Seeing a person sing is as important as hearing a song.
Michael… quite possibly your most powerful video to date. Thank you
The line “you ain’t cried like that since you come out your mother” SCREAMS rebirth to me. Another chance.
Wow. I was not expecting this. The sadness, the pain, the tragedy are dripping off every note, every word. Simply brilliant. You know there is something special there when Michael puts down his guitar and takes it in. 'Powerful' is an understatement.
Holy SHIT that shook me! It wasn’t the least bit contrived or forced! That was his therapy! Goddamn! Chills! Bravo!!!!!!! That reminded me of Isbell in some ways!
Yes indeed!
James Blunt, too. Suffering from PTSD after serving in Kosovo, writing his songs from the depths of despair, then trying to handle musical success, had to be incredibly painful. In his early performances, his voice is trembling, and he raises his eyes in an effort to hang on to enough control to keep from breaking down.
I heard another musician casually discussing his popular songs, and he said he was in a desperate state when he wrote his biggest hits.
From desperation, creation.
I remember a quote about writing, which also fits for songwriting:
"Writing is easy; you just sit in front of a typewriter, and open a vein."
Exactly.
Thanks Michael, i needed this today. I have little inspiration to play music anymore and have lost most of my friends in the last 10 years from breakups. Some days the only reason I'm still here is because i don't want my parents to be sad.
The music I’ve heard come through this channel ….Fn amazing.
I had chills throughout. And I think that's the best way to describe it. It is a chilling, hauntingly beautiful song. It cries out with so much internal pain. So rawly open. And that is so powerful.
This hit me hard. The truth and vulnerability of turning something so raw and soul crushing into art is beautiful beyond words.
Truth.
Michael, to see you react physically to this song validates how I react to some songs. The one thing that drives me to artists is "soul." The soul in this song makes us all feel like the protagonist, we are all living a few seconds of this song's journey. This is why I watch your channel. You recognize the soul and you point it out. Thanks.
Yes, his soul is showing! Thanks for sharing.
Facts.
I was in tears halfway through the song. I lost a close friend a number of years ago, I still think about her and I probably always will. You said it Michael, man what a song, what a song.
My life has been touched by people who have taken their life and wanted to take their life. I'll never know how they felt, but you and this song gave me a good glimpse. Thank you
With that voice he could sing Happy Birthday and make you cry!
Oh my gosh Michael I have been trying so hard to get people to react to Evan for months upon months now. I’ve even suggested him here in your comments before and now FINALLY somebody has done it !!! I’ve been obsessed with this guy’s voice and song writing. I literally listen to him multiple times a week, along with Morgan Wade, because they sing with such rawness and true emotions. Thank you !! Thank you !!! Also I sent the link to this video to Evan on Facebook so he can see people are appreciating his music. 👊🏻
Thanks for sharing this Michael. At first I hesitated due to the subject matter ( I make a point not to glorify death/suicide) but everything about this song just shook me to my core and I couldn't imagine not sharing it. Keep on doing what you do brother.
Thank you for sharing this man!
My words have now abandoned me...as a survivor of suicide (my son), this hurts, its hits hard. Sounds like my son's last Facebook post on that fateful day, and i might guess Evan has lost a loved one too, and this song is part of his grieving process. But i dont know.
At 11:45, "The only thing holding back the great hereafter... is bad primers with good timing."
For anyone who doesn't know, a primer is what sets off the charge in a cartridge/shotgun shell.... The shell was a dud. So, even though the song is dark, to me this line seems to sound like he avoided going through with it... it brings hope back into it.
But just after that, at 12:04, I think the guitar is intended to sound like a shotgun racking and firing (and in fact he replaces the word "shotgun" with the whole effect). So maybe the hope isn't there after all? Great instrumentation and an amazing voice though. Tough topic.
I didn’t pick up on the shotgun sound effect with the guitar. I think you’re dead on.
I saw Evan a few years ago at a venue I was working at. He was song swapping with another guy and everytime Evan sang I stopped working and just stared with the exact same expression on my face. The dude is legit
Damn is all I can say, Evan sings the truth of where the pain comes from, extremely heavy song with amazing vocals and lyrics. My favorite quote about music "Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything". - Plato ✌️
I've listened to this song a bunch of times and all I could do was be silent while I listen. Seeing how you were affected by it finally broke the dam in me. I just realized how it's easier to let go of things when you see other people share the same emotion you carry heavily inside... Also, I just noticed the words SILENT and LISTEN share the same letters.
Hey man. Canadian fan living in Vietnam. Massive fan of the channel and the love for music you bring to the table.
From one Canadian to another. Hey, and be well.
Jesus…. I needed this so bad. I’ve got to get these songs out. Thanks Michael
That’s it!!
Ok im back. I wanna say something about this song, as someone who has suffered depression and a breakdown. This is a very accurate depiction of anguish, pain that is unrelenting and pervasive. Its true ppl who feel this lie, because other's words or pity dont help.
The crescendo of the song is true the words display the absence of hope, he doesnt want to do it - its a desperate attempt to escape to something different.
yet notice he ruminates on the idea of loading the shotgun... BUT! At the end of the song, he hasnt done it yet.
He might not feel hope, but up untill the last moment the song ends with hope that someone CAN enter the story and stop him going through with it.
You may feel like there is no hope of a reprieve from anguish, but the singer leaves the possibility open for someone to come into his story to rescue him, my hope is that if your feeling like this you leave the end open as well. Dont end your story, but live to sing your song.
It’s also about a failed attempt, “bad primer and good timing”, meaning the trigger was pulled but there was a misfire. Powerful song, hope it can help someone in need.
Powerful song! I just watched the music video again and most of the comments were people saying they were here because of you! I struggle with mental illness so thank you for this.
Wow this song is, it is.. just wow... I can tell when a song is speaking to you by your expression while listening and if all us fan's took a picture while watching,we all have the same expression and I can't thank you enough for sharing this with us! I have things in my past this song touched
Music is so powerful! Michael I am so impressed that you just don't review a song but you LISTEN to the song, that means so much.
"Only thing holding back the great hereafter, is bad primers, with good timing"😱 Man what a song!
Tears and poignancy all the way through for me on this one. Great song! Vocal delivery is out of this world.
Michael, I love how you connect to the soul of the songs that you feature on your channel. I have always been the guy that gets goosebumps from songs and i listen to the same song countless times and I still get the same feeling. I suspect you are the same. Some songs are straight from the soul and you never fail to recognize them. Your channel is just great. NEVER stop showcasing artists and art that is real.
Thank you Greg!!
I have a PRS 594 SC Artist model 10 top in Faded Whale Blue. One of my favorite guitars.... Just a lovely axe!
First: that song is out of this world! One of the heaviest, truest pieces of art I’ve ever heard. But you already put it perfectly.
Second though: thank you so much Michael that you created this platform on which I can find such gems that would have passed me without you.
I’ve been watching your videos for a long time now and will keep on doing so.
Thank you, man!!
Desperation is the mother of true art. To me, all the best music comes out of desperation like this one. Real and from heart to heart, no escape. Thanks for doing this one!
This has such a deep and moving sentiment. His vocal delivery reminds me of Jeff Buckley. Tremendous content Michael. Thanks for another gem.
I feel like he described a state of mind that I have been in before so perfectly. That's something that I was never able to do for myself. This song is absolutely incredible.
Wow! Love to see artists revealing their soul! I haven't played in 16years so last year I bought a bunch of equipment because I finally got the Carpal Tunnel surgery and the song needs to come out still! Having a hard time learning FL Studio my son gave me. Thanks for giving this a play!
You NAILED this! Evan is a brilliant singer songwriter!! Been telling anyone and everyone who will listen to check out his music for several years now!! Thank you for featuring him on ur channel! He is simply amazing at what he does!
Been a fan for a long time of Evan Bartels, he’s legit probably my favorite song writer and singer.. every song is deep. It gives you chills.
I’m soo glad there are other people who realize this . He’s soo much more talented than any of this mainstream bs nowadays
When he imitates the pump action on the guitar instead of saying the word. Sheeesh. I needed this.
Once again, I appreciate how dedicated you are to sharing the incredible work of these lesser known, modern musicians that are amazing and deserve more recognition. Few other of the youtube music teachers (for lack of a better term) are committing to this like you. When I hear other youtubers make comments like "today's music is terrible" it makes me sad because I feel like they are overlooking musicians like this guy. Thanks again!
Man....this is the one I'm glad you shared. This guy is amazing. I've been listening to all of his stuff since you posted this. He's an unbelievable writer. And possibly one of the best I've ever heard in my life. No joke. Dive deeper into his stuff...I'm sure you have already. But if not....do it. He's incredible.
Don't think I've ever clicked a video so quickly before! Evan was my request back on the Tuesday Live, and I'm thrilled to see his music resonated with people as much as it does for me! Michael, as always thanks for all you do! Can't wait to see your thoughts on this track.
Dude, I remember it well! Great suggestion! :)
@@FJD894! Here's hopping that Allen / Teddy collab gets the next vid!
@@mattryan4850 haha it’d be an honor :)
Hi Michael!
Pardon my English - I am not a native speaker; I'll do my best to express my thoughts.
I've always believed that the core of everything we do is the intention. "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal." TH-cam is flooded with all kinds of 'XYZ coach reacts to ABC topic' videos. Many of them are soaked with a fairly unobtrusive scavenging approach.
Yours are so different. I have already watched a dozen or so and they all are full of myriads of your efforts to dig out some nugget, find a pearl, draw audience's attention to something hidden in the song, harmony, performance, expression, co-laboration between band members and art itself. I almost feel your perseverance to excavate those treasures and share them with your watchers. Pardon me if it sounds corny or mawkish but Mate, your intentions are obviously so full of love here!
Please accept my appreciation and gratitude. You have already made my few days brighter, tastier and heartfelt. Please don't ever stop. Bless you!
MY GOD That just hit me dead in the feels . My heart is already destroyed and that just filled the jar to the brim .
It was indeed Henry David Thoreau.
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.
I’ve read somewhere the most dangerous time for suicide in people suffering from deep depression is when they begin to feel a slight increase in mood.
When they are completely bedridden, unable to function at all, they are badly suffering. Too suffering to do anything. But as they start to feel the slight improvement that allows them to get up, they are then capable of finding the means to end their suffering.
Anyone in a bad way, please reach out. To anyone.
I watch most of your videos, and get your notifications, and it was so surreal to see Evan's name pop up! He's a friend of mine! Small correction: the line is "my words have now abandoned me." Nice video and congrats Evan!
Awesome! Let him know our community loves him!
Thanks for the correction. I thought that’s what he said.
Another great reaction lesson and this level of feeling is why you are the man :). I wish that folks knew how much of what they feel is not theirs to carry. At least 50% of EVERYTHING we think and feel is not ours to carry. People like this fella, and you and many of us are in the 80% or higher. First question you have to ask when you feel like this is, “how much of this is mine?”…. You can pick it up from anywhere but the most common are family, friends, ancestors, the collective human energy.
We don’t have to suffer…
Alan
Thank you. This is amazing.
Holy mother, this hit me hard. What a load of emotions! I literally can feel all of his emotions brought into the song. Thanks for bringing this masterpieces of music to us Michael!
I loved this song and your exploration of the theme. One observation/connection and a personal witness.
1. Your comment about the words become a man in me remind me of Rush's 2112. From the Soliloquy...
I wish that it might come to pass
Not fade like all my dreams
Just think of what my life might be
In a world like I have seen
I don’t think I can carry on
This cold and empty life
My spirits are low, in the depths of despair
My lifeblood
Spills over….
Personal witness.
I'm a 2nd career pastor who entered seminary at 37. While in seminary I recieved a call from my best friend that his youngest brother, who was in his 20's had committed suicide. He had a ton of health issues and cancers from birth and the family believed he got another diagnosis that he just couldn't deal with. He asked if I would officiate the funeral.
Luckily I was in in my advanced pastoral care class and an advanced preaching class and had just gone over weddings and funerals. I spoke with both professors about how I should handle this. This was a young man that I had known since birth.
The pastoral care professor said something profound to me that I think connects to this song and your observation.
'You need to tell the little David, the 10 or 12 year old David to step aside for a short while, but promise him that once your Duty as the pastor is complete, you'll care for him and let him grieve. If you don't take care of him, it will come out later in very unhealthy ways and habits.'
Even as adults, we still have that little boy or girl that learned certain things about life, about love, about hurt, about what healthy and unhealthy relationships look like and sometimes those are not congruent with who we would like to be or have become.
Sometimes our unresolved little... cause to act in ways that are not in alignment with who we were created to be and many times it's that disconnect that leads to subject of this song.
Now THATS some real talk. Thanks for this my friend!
Michael Palmisano, I have watched lots of your videos of which are all excellent. I always come away from them wanting to be a better person. Thanks for being a positive influence. Love the “take always” from your lessons learned and personal meanings that you find in songs. Keep the videos coming. You have a great heart and have a true talent my friend.
I discovered Evan Bartels a few months ago and he has some really good stuff! He sings with such conviction!
speechless and in tears..lost my best friend, husband and musical companion of 52 years just a short while ago...It has taken me a long time to even pick up my guitar again, but I have, and it HURTS!!! but it also heals...music heals.... TY for sharing this song...with love...
Finally a human listining to other human's words... Thank You both so much for this amazing moment in time!
I've been watching too many videos about composing or breaking down the music / vocal skills. Those were just sounds.
But only honest words carried by honest emotions can give them true meaning...
You've gotta check out the original album version video... I've never seen someone convey so much emotion with their voice and face in my entire life.
"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation, and go to the grave with the song still in them." - Henry David Thoreau
He’s originally from a tiny little town in Nebraska. He’s an absolute wordsmith and emotional story teller.
This song could have appeared on Nebraska, my fave Springsteen album.
@@isthatwhatemptymeans8222 I never even thought of it like that, but you’re right. If it’s your favorite, you probably know the story of Charles Starckweather and the evil he caused in Nebraska in the 1950’s...hence the song titled “Nebraska”. I doubt any of that had anything to do with Evan’s inspiration here but you could absolutely tie it in to that album/movie. Good stuff...your comment made me listen to “Nebraska” again for the first time in a long time.👊
Not to mention he quotes Jesus on the cross after the silent desperation line. "My God my God, why have you forsaken me?" Eli Eli lema sabachthani?
thank you for this tonight. this is my life everyday and I try everyday just to wake up. thank you
❤️
The Pass by Rush helped me through some rough times as a teenager, I was never suicidal but the message that you walk the razor’s edge at times really resonated. It didn’t give some bullshit narrative that things were going to be great or even better but just walk the razor’s edge and keep living.
Wow. No words. Thank you for introducing me to this amazing artist.
You know it's good when Michael just puts the guitar down. Wow, what a song
Wow. What a song. Not often you hear how you think and feel reflected in other people's songs. Can't stop listening to it now.
Thank you, Evan, for such a GREAT song. I have a friend dealing with this issue. I love her. And I wish I could help her somehow in those darkest moments. This song just resonates. And Michael, brother, thanks so much for promoting this GREAT song.
Thought I would post the lyrics for those that are interested...
If I'm being honest
I'm gonna lie to you
When you ask me how I'm doing
Ill use all the words we both know
You want me to
If I'm being honest
I've been thinking about the day
Where I don't feel anything at all
I don't fear anything at all
I'mma gonna go gonna load my shotgun
Point that barrel right where it hurts
Ain't no telling where ill go after
Might not be better but it can't get worse
I cried out
In siren desperation I cried out
I called your name
My god my god
Why have you forsaken me?
I cried out, when my words have now abandoned me
I'm gonna go gonna load my shotgun
Point that barrel right where it hurts
Ain't no telling where ill go after
Might not be better but it can't get worse
And I could tell u but U can't imagine
That first breathe from the edge of deaths chasm
You ain't cried like that since you come out your mother
Omens ain't holding back the great here after?????
Its bad primings, its good timing
I'm gonna go gonna load my shotgun
Point that barrel right where it hurts
Ain't no telling where ill go after
Might not be better but it can't get worse
I love watching your reactions to this one. It's like when I first heard it. Evan Bartels is a great songwriter and performer. I remember when i was discussing his Our Vinyl performance with my mom, and I told her that every word, pause and breath of his performance are the gospel truth. Anyone who's ever felt that kind of separation can identify with it. It feels to me like when I was a kid hearing the singers at my dad's church singing an empassioned rendition of a hymn. It's the truth all the way down; he feels it.
This man and this beautiful song are truly stunningly breathtaking...
Michael.. want to same your awesome. Found your channel and just been binge watching your videos. Your teaching me so much. Fantastic communicator brother
Wow. Never heard of him. Some days are better than others. Love great music
I recall watching this same performance and thinking the same thing!
“Ive been thinking about the day that I don’t feel anything at all.
I’m gonna go, gonna load my shotgun. Point that barrel right where it hurts. Ain’t no telling where I’ll go after.
Might not be better, but it can’t get worse.”
Thank you… so much. Evan Bartels and Michael. This hits so deep. I was there before… ugh it’s such a deep pain. This is beautiful and so painful. Thank you again. It does help. Even though it still hurts so bad.
Holy cow!!! Chills from head to toe!!!
This takes me back to that moment…..that moment with the muzzle to my head, ready for that moment he sings where I couldn’t feel nothing.
Adding some amazing emotion to the "words and music" equation.
This song gives off strong Hallelujah vibes! It hits you straight in your heart and sits in your soul
You are BEAUTIFUL !! You are IMPORTANT. You are LOVED. I LOVE YOU❤️🎸🪕
Wow. Thanks for sharing this both of you!
Thanks Michael. I needed this in more ways than you know.
Fantastic.
That was absolutely amazing… unbelievable how a song can have such a deep meaning and drive the point so hard and accurately. I probably would have never found this song and for that, thank you 🙏
This song/performance was another level of deep... One we just don't get enough of today.
Any good producer will tell you a good singer conveys a message by how he sings. He nailed it!
No big deal, I’m a blubbering mess on the treadmill… I love how you focus on the songwriting! I think I say that every time I watch your videos.
I’ve never played an instrument or sang in my life, but music has become such a therapy for me( that and my faith). Evan is at the top of that list . All his songs are so powerful!!!! I listen to The Way it Breaks almost every morning on my way to work it helps my to get through the day, it helps me to realize that I’m not there for them but I’m there for my family even know its a far cry from my ideal job.
I love it when music/art moves people. You where clearly moved. It was inspiring to watch your reaction thank you!
Thank you for focusing on the MOST IMPORTANT part of playing guitar ...... What you play, not how technically well you play! The quality of the song, greatly outweighs the twiddly-diddly tricks! I love that you focus on how a song makes you feel, and brings you into the world the songwriter is inhabiting and how it brings emotions and memories out of your own life! Your music theory knowledge goes right over my head, but your understanding of musicality and emotion hits me where I live! Thank you again!
First Travis Meadows. Now this. You have shown me some seriously heavy, yet important music. Thanks. A lot.
Well done !! Best wishes from New Zealand.
Art is about connection. That's why we sing. To connect with others, to feel less alone. To share the stories that make us HUMAN, even when those stories are sad.
Mike, you hooked me with your reactions to the dead. I'm no guitarist (I have small, undextrous hands with a gimpy left pinky) -- I'm a vocalist/soloist at best, but your videos, and seeing how music *transports* you -- it does to me, too, it helps me FEEL and put words on my feelings.
Watching your reactions makes me feel less alone. Thank you.;
Thank you Michael. Simply amazing.
Omg what a feel train TH-cam is getting me thru today this is the third video I have experienced such life changing emotions thru a song I can barely take it anymore.. I can't be happier
Haunting. His work will rip your soul out.
First time hearing this guy. Oh my god, man. thank you for doing a reaction to this. This is such a beautiful song, and it kinda woke me up to my situation. I could die tomorrow and I wouldn't care.
Yes love Evan Bartel for years now. Love his music, please do more reactions to him, especially “lonesome”
Ok Evan, 😢 I gotta listen to your other artistry now. You got me hooked. 🙏🏼
You will LOVE his music!