Coming Out To My Jehovah's Witness Parents
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 พ.ย. 2024
- ive been wanting to do this vid for the longest time. it's a video about the time i came out to my parents, my hispanic jehovah's witness parents.
im almost always wearing a smile, cracking a joke, and making kulit. be warned. not here. something about visiting my parents' house again brings back all the feels. this vid sums up what happened age 15-20. the realization im gay, the self-loathing, the inability to reconcile my faith with my sexuality, the final admission to my parents, and all the ugly that happened afterward.
the hardest thing to share was the moment it first came out. i broke down there for a minute. looking back, i wish i kept it from my family just a little bit longer. had my parents not known, i could have waited it out til college, maybe even had more of their financial support. and that my bubbly boys is worth thinking about.
i realize this isn't the brightest coming out story around. all i hope is that it makes you ask yourself the right questions.
you know your parents better than anyone. are they devoutly religious? open-minded? emotionally stable? i would love nothing more than for you to have the warmest fuzziest coming out story ever, filled with hugs, kisses, and reaffirmations of love. but for those that have reason to second guess, play it smart. think it through, and ask yourself some questions. how old are you? who can you talk about this outside your family that might be more accepting? if things ever got ugly, are you even in a position to take care of yourself?
if you're in doubt, there's nothing wrong with holding it back a few years. there is absolutely no shame in that, my friend.
of all the things i can tell you, bubbly boys and girls. remember too. you are not alone. :*
UPDATE 1/16/14 you guys have poured so many comments full of love, i just keep coming back, and ill make it a point to keep coming back to this comment section more than the other videos. i realize coming out is one of the hardest things we LGBT's will ever have to do and there's no reason to have to do it alone. right below these words you're reading now, a couple dozen formerly closeted jehovah's witnesses have already found each other, along with a whole other bundle of subgroups. and that's just beautiful. so yea ill be back whenever i can.
oh and yes i made a follow up video to this called "After THAT Coming Out Vid":
• After THAT Coming Out Vid
seb_castro
sebcastro
thesebastiancastro
and yes you can find me on the exclusively gay app moovz
my entire life i have never met another formerly closeted jehovah's witness. then this comment section happened. now im hugging a dozen plus. thank you for that.
there's something about shared experiences, some one whose been there. whether youre jehovah's witness, mormon, jewish, black, white, asian, full of horror stories, or trying to make it out without one, thanks for sharing.
im sending you all the internet love i got, and i promise to keep vids coming.
Ok man hope ur doing well
Yap we should stand on our feet!
My friend and I just started a love relationship 1 year ago, she is everything to me, I discovered what love is. all my friends know about her and Accept us, but I've had a hard time telling my mother, who is a Jehovah's Witness. I never became one, baptised or anything more, because I always felt something inside me didn't fit with the beliefs. (Until her and I started this relationship, that's where I realised who I really was, and what was missing). I tried to tell my mother, but she refused to listen to me. It is quite sad that I cannot tell her all the news, all that I share with my girlfriend and all our plans for the future.
Laura Rivera Needless to say, to her, we have to act as friends.
I'm happy that you came out. I'm a queer JW too.
My heart goes out to you Sebastian. I'm gay and I was raised JW too! It really is difficult to put into words just how rough it can be for kids growing up like that. Especially if you are gay.
I am so happy that you survived; are doing your thing, and living your life the way that you want! It really is great to see people rise out of the ashes and do well for themselves.
You are a great inspiration. Keep up the good work man!
Ciao Sebastian,
I'm straight, I'm atheist, I'm 40 and I live in the opposite side of the world (Italy)... We couldn't be more different.
But I thank you: thank you for sharing such an intimate story.
I think more parents should see videos like this.
I'm raising my teenage daughter encouraging her to find her own "brightest piece of gray", and sometimes I take for granted this world is NOT “black and white”.
Few days ago I was with my daughter and a friend of her, having a burger in a place with MTV on screens; “take me to church” video was playing: my daughter was ok, but her friend was astonished looking at 2 guys kissing. I thought at her parents, and how “black and white” their world probably is.
Keep on sharing your gray world, and be proud of what you are building around you.
Especially because you’re doing it with your own tools, not the tools your parents gave you.
Love.
Flavio
i so love this comment :)
I just want to point out how angry I am at the people commenting on this videos saying, "you're so hot", "omg, you fine as hell!!". You opened up your heart, yet people are posting comments like that....What I would like to say is that I admire you for your bravery. I admire how you faced personal struggles and yet, still, you earned such extraordinary success through hard work and determination. I wish you the best in life for two reasons: 1) You deserve it, and 2) because I find so much inspiration from you and you have helped me stay alive, actually.
Erik Carter Hi Nick, I totally understand what you mean but I don't necessarily agree with you. Please let me explain.
It is and remains undisputed - at least from my point of view - that Sebastian Castro is brave, strong, and most of all deserving of lots of love, kind words, and good things.
Equally it is and remains undisputed that he is a role mode, a dancer, a singer, and that most people know him from TH-cam. He is a famous TH-camr.
Now I've been following Sebastian Castro for a little bit over two years (I estimate) and I do find his life inspiring and interesting. Yet not to produce any misunderstanding, I did not come across his video because I was looking for a coming out story (though I myself am gay, too) but becasue I was looking for new music. When I looked at all the suggestions I hardly knew any of the titles or singers but I deliberately clicked onto his profile because I found him to be extremely good looking (by the way, I think he is getting even more attractive as he gets older). Especially on TH-cam where one is flashed by a million of videos and pictures, selection goes by good title and most of all the amount of eye candy one sees. It is only over time that one keeps appreciating the good looks but learns to love the personality of the TH-camr for himself/herself and his/her content.
As we live in a visual and "mediatized" world, I don't think that it is appropriate to judge people just because they are saying that Sebastian is hot and sexy. I think that is a fair statement, certainly superficial, but definitively honest. I think one can go from there and start learning about the person. Personally, I don't think anything bad about it.
To be even more honest, I did call Sebastian hot and sexy myself. And I did so a couple of times and I am not ashamed of it. I will most likely never get a chance to meet Sebastian or even remotely get a chance to become a close friend of his (very difficult be it for the distance alone). I will with a very high probability never really get to know him well; nevertheless, I think saying that someone is good-looking is certainly better than saying something nasty. So I don't blame people and even approve becasue every nice and honest compliment is a good compliment. For most of us viewers it will never be possible to speak any deep truths about Sebastian because we are not his close friends. I hope he won't mind my assertion, but personally I think these things to be true.
Besides that, I believe that it is also how you say things. Depite cultural differences and different cultural norms, expectations, and what is considered to be appropriate behavior, I think one can and should say such things nicely without reducing him to just his physical attributes. I believe one can achieve this by trying to relate to his story and show that one listened attentively. In my humble opinion showing that one was listening is how one shows a person that they are truly appreciated and valued.
For me Sebastian has a great and caring personality and I would love to meet him in person one day. But as my means are limited (time and money), I can do no more but send love and encouraging words and hope that he will take them kindly and understand that I don't know how else to thank him for him being simply around and for him being a true beacon of light and hope to all those who are lost, sad, misunderstood, and lonely.
I am not sure whether I managed to explain myself but please don't be angry anymore. I'm sure that with an encouraging and friendly smile on your face you can do more good in the world than with a frown. So how about we enjoy together that people have nice things to say about Sebastian, even if they judge the book only by its cover. Allow them to discover the story within by themselves and then they will see that there is more good to Sebastian than mere superficialities. Have faith.
All the best to you from Germany. Mike
Michael Lodwich lol thats too much
Hey dude relax, compliments are compliments, just because they are not complimenting his bravery and hard work, does not make them bad. Let other people enjoy what they see and like.
He’s so
Hot omg 😍
@@michaellodwich9062 OK, well it's not going to explain itself.
My parents are Jehovah Witnesses as well and I'm gay. I really don't know what to do, it's really frustrating
Lamma Shamma my mom is a JW too and it fucking sucks
Rey QP be prepared. You will be dis fellowshiped, your parents will disown you and kick you out. You will lose your friends in the congregation. You will run into brothers around town, and they will not speak to you. You will feel lonely broken hearted confused and angry
Bear talk to them I am JW too
Rey QP before you tell them make sure you have a safe place to go should things go badly but live your life authentically
Rey QP stop being gay
it's 4 in the morning and I watched this video and I want you to know you inspired me to come out to my dad
thank you so much for your bravery in sharing your story, it really means a lot
Sebastian,
This is NOT depressing. Far from it.
As I wipe the tears from my eyes (again, and again) I rejoice that you have found your voice, your identity, and are not afraid to say it.
Loud and proud.
It was painfully obvious that this has cost you, emotionally.
But you then shared it, because you felt it was important.
It is.
But the video I watched was of an intelligent, articulate person being brutally honest about their experiences.
Your honesty was humbling.
Your truthful emotions were both painful and empowering.
Thank you for making this and sharing.
It gave me some insight into an area I am not familiar (JW).
Again, thanks.
I don't normally watch coming out videos but your had me in tears. I love how honest you are and coming from the background you did just how amazing of a person you are. Thank you for making this video and i hope we see a lot more of you.
Wow... I can so relate with you. I also grew up in a Jehovah Witness household. My father was an Elder. Both of my parents were Regular Pioneers and it was all bout preaching, studying and going to every meeting 3 times a week. I was born into the religion as my was raised in it herself and has been devoted to Jehovah pretty much all her life. My dad started later in life but also became so devoted. I grew up with siblings that were 10-20 years older than me. When I was 8 one of my sisters was 19 and passed away in an accident and my other sister that was 17 left the house and I was alone... knowing I was gay at the age of 8. My parents were foster parents and I grew up with kids coming in and out of the house but yet I was still alone. I had friends from the congregation and at school but the ones from school were kept only at school. So growing up gay but having to keep it a secret cuz it was a sin in my parents eyes and Jehovah's eyes made me have a double life. I went house to house to make my parents happy cuz as a rule while u were under their household u have to go to the meetings and preach every weekend. But then growing up an elders son...you have to be a role model for the rest of the kids and the congregation . Me.. not so much. I knew if I got baptized I'd be " Expulsado" so I never did and always was asked... when r u getting baptized? Almost every week at least once. I'd always reply I'm not ready. So having to hide my secret made not want to tell even my friends out of the congregation because growing up in a smaller town... Everyone knew me, my parents and our religion. And I couldn't let my secret get back to them cuz I knew it'd break their hearts and I'd prolly get disowned. This goes on til I'm 26. At the age of 24 I finally told my friends out of the religion I'm gay and they were like we know. Lol. So I was finally happy to have some support. Then at 26 I move away..only 90 Miles away but far enough to be myself. Well even moving away I had to keep part of my life a secret cuz I had friends on Facebook from church. A year after moving away I started dating my ex and I was like whatever and i updated my status and started posting pictures of us. Then I get a call from my niece bout my mom called her mom telling her she found out I was gay and was angry and just upset. So knowing that she now knows I kept my distance. Then a year later my dad had to have open heart surgery and he gets sent to where I live I. Lubbock, TX. I go meet them. We hug and say hi. And I'm just worried bout my dad being ok. My older sister that mom had called was also there and she's not a JW but had a problem with me being gay. Which she's better now and accepts it. So I take off from work am sleep at the hospital with my mom and dad in his room. We never once spoke about me being gay. But my ex came by to see how i was doing and of course my sisters like this is Rays friend i told you about and i get this cold gesture from my mom like shes disgusted. But i just let her be. I knew it would be.like that. I still stayed there knowing she finally met my ex and hated it. Then my dad feels better and gets to go home. As of this day we have never sat down and talked bout it and that's ok With me. They know and don't accept it but atleast they still talk to me. Our bond isn't the same but it's ok. Out of respect I don't and will never bring a guy home knowing they don't agree with my lifestyle as they call it. But just to know I can still talk to them is all that matter. I'm going to be 31 next month and I'm finally free to be who I am and want to be. I prolly could do a coming out video but I'm too shy lol I was just happy to know someone I have someone I can so relate to because of the whole Jehovah Witness thing. Thank you so much for this video!!
Much love,
Ray Escarzega
thank you for sharing that. that was something in itself. ive lost track of the number of formerly closeted jehovahs witnesses in this comment section. there's so many of us. *tightest of tight hugs*
=)
im just like you except older than u
evo8ray how u doin?
evo8ray same setup...q( both my parent are regular pioneers...
I burst out crying when I saw this. I'm currently going through all the turmoil you described (I'm 14). My mom is the same, all emotional, but she still holds disgusts to any homosexual interaction. My dad is a troubled man to put it lightly. Thank you for sharing this. I didn't know before that there were other JWs that had went through what I went through. You do truly feel alone if you know nothing of anyone else. Your awesome. Thanks again. :/ :)
**the tightest little internet hug**
14 ?! damn it. how i feel for you. hang in there bud.
i am about to say something i wish someone had said to me. you have one trippy tightrope to walk for the nxt four years. i say 4 because, no matter how much you might want to bolt sooner, that's the soonest you're leaving legally. this is what you got. this is what you're stuck with. and this can work.
having read the JW bible twice, having clocked in literally thousands of hours auxiliary pioneering, having been the ideal jehovahs witness child every parent longs for, and having grown up to realize what a waste it all was, believe me when i say, i have been there.
the most important battle of all right now is the one in your head.
my advice. in this order.
1) think for yourself. question everything. BUT ONLY IN YOUR HEAD FOR NOW.
no matter how much physical abuse an asshole father can put you through, the biggest battles are in your head.
they "carry the good word." they share "the truth." jehovah's witness diction 101.
reality check. in the real world, truth is not afraid of open dialogue and counter arguments. people who possess truth do not have to isolate their kids from others who do not think the way they do.
when they come at you with scriptures and watchtowers, you need to be come at them with a quiet resolution to figure things out at your own pace. i recommend you do NOT actually engage them. logical fallacies dont do much in this world. but thinking for yourself will help you get from "god hates me" to "i love myself no matter what" faster than you think.
if you were a 30 year old adult they were preaching to, they could very well ease you in to the "good word." but when you're 14 and their son, showing the slightest doubt that god exists isn't going to slide. be "steadfast," steadfast in your resolve to love yourself. to know you are your own thinking person and what they think of you has nothing to do with what you think of yourself.
just position your frame of mind constantly. they live in their reality, and you're only just starting to find yours. what they'll call "a temptation", you can call a "crush." what they call a "gross sin", you'll call a first kiss. and, ill stop here and keep it PG. :)
2. make friends. good ones.
get a friend. girls are somehow easier to come out to. open up with someone in person if you havent already. :) soak up the affirmation of love and friendship. this is what acceptance feels like.
3. make yourself as independent as possible. financially.
i hate having to say this to a 14 year old. childhood should be enjoyed. but because you'll have to get out of the things your parents want, because you need to one day have it in you to say "no," they will make you feel like shit. they will make you out to be the "disobedient" son whose lost his way. who needs to "return to the flock."
the sooner you step it up and show them this isn't an immature teen playing rebel, the sooner they'll take you seriously.
the best way to do this. get a job. any job. speaking for myself, not being 100% reliant on my own parents for money made it easier to breathe. unfortunately, i made the jump to fast and made stupid decisions along the way. tales for another time.
4. say "no"
realize this is the last step and i recommend you work up to it for a reason.
what do i mean by no? i mean no more meetings, no more preaching.
if you sit down for dinner tomorrow and tell your parents its all over. they'll only see the disobedient son making snappy immature decisions on a whim. if you take a few months to get from 1 to 4, they might just see you for what you really are.
no kid wants to look into their parents eyes and see shame. not one. but in all likelihood you're gonna have to. especially at first. but realize its only gonna happen one of two ways.
either you can accept the role of "disobedient son led astray by the inclinations of this world" or you can write yourself a new one. i recommend "the lovable, friendly, hardworking son who we couldnt make jehovahs witness but damn, he's making it hard for us to hate him." im dead serious here.
you can be both. you can put your foot down, but hey, you can also do your homework. get the grades, take out the trash, fix your room, keep things in check, and go the little extra mile. show them you mean business.
i love you so very very much. i wouldnt have skipped my gym session and written you a new bible if i didnt. and if i could only reach into my laptop and squeeze you for 5 minutes, you'd be gasping for air right now. i love you kiddo and i promise you, you're gonna be just fine.
you got this.
Sebastian Castro Thank you! You have no idea how much what you said means to me. I am currently trying to find a job, something to save a little money for later, but unfortunately there aren't many places that employ 14 year olds. You are so RIGHT when you say that the battle is in your head, all the negative thoughts sometimes knock me down, but it's people like you that show so much strength. You help me see that there is a future. Even if it does have its share of consequences. Thanks again!!!!! The fact that you even replied to this brightened my day! :) ( ^_^)／
Sebastian Castro Beautiful post man, hope he takes this forward some great advice, ALL religions are crap and dangerous if taken to far, Im Christian I do the 10 comandments and ignore all the mad bits, as you say its thinking for yourself, best wishes from the uk
lets wipe those tears and show some smile :) watch Sebastian castro's surprise bday bash organised by his baby Ryan. th-cam.com/video/gs3OC0sX2yc/w-d-xo.htmlm8s
Sebastian Castro Wow...very great advice. Sebastian, it is your example, and advice, that will not only help this kid, it will help many more who see this. You are a very wise man, for who I am guessing is in his early to mid twenties.
I'm a 45 year old divorced father of 1 son who is a loyal follower/subscriber/viewer of your page.
As you are well aware of by now, your video's are very educational and entertaining to everyone who views.
Please keep up the good work and do not give up on the video's. Your hard work has is enjoyed by many.
I am now a loyal follower/subscriber/viewer of your page thanks to my son and his friends.
When my wife and I divorced, my son chose to live with me so that he could stay at the same high school.
After graduation he chose to join the Marines for some reason - WHY??? - I found out why a year later.
One day while we were eating dinner he nervously told me that he was gay and loved me very much.
He told me that he has known for awhile about this feelings and was afraid to tell me. Didn't want to hurt me.
He said that he he had joined the Marines so I would be proud of him.
He thought it would make it easier on me when found out that he was gay.
I really did not even suspect nor did I care but was glad he told me.
TOLD HIM THAT I LOVED HIM AND JUST WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY HIMSELF AND LIFE.
We now talk more than ever about what is happening in life, even about who he is seeing.
RECENT QUICK STORY ABOUT MY SON,
From time to time my home becomes a crash pad for my Marine son and his friends on leave from base.
The latest 4 day leave my son had was a lot different from all others I've witnessed.
My son invited 15 of his Marine buddies over for their 4 day Labor Day weekend leave.
I found out the whole group of guys were in various stages of lets say "finding themselves" surprised me.
Their leave developed into a 4 day marathon session of viewing TH-cam coming out videos.
PLUS they also viewed every episode of a Portuguese Soap Opera about Paulo & Miguel.
They were really hooked on all the story lines. I have to look up the soap opera soon.
Only time they ever left the house was to play in the pool.
Each guy purchased a case of beer for the weekend and planned on doing nothing but to relax for 4 days.
Sad to say that all the beer was gone the first night. I made 7 trips for beer & food during their stay.
Also had to turn into a maid for them (someone had to collect 100's of beer bottles) I WAS HAPPY TO DO SO.
The biggest surprise came for me the last day when they were leaving to go back to base.
Each one gave me a hug and thanked me for being so understanding of them. I proudly hugged them back.
Told them that "I was very proud them all and glad I got to know each one of them".
Seeing them all walking to their cars joking, laughing and smiling with each other made me tear up.
The best Labor Day weekend I ever had.
THANK YOU Sebastian,
I found out your videos were viewed by all the guys during their stay.
Your video's made 16 Marines very happy over their past Labor Day leave.
A QUICK NOTE FROM ME TO OTHERS,
Knowing my son is gay, BUT OUT TO Me and few others has me very very concerned for his safety at times.
He has started to see another Marine which makes me very happy for him. Hard for them to go out on dates.
Asked my son him if I could meet him and I did on one of their leave. Nice guy by the way!
I love my son so much; don't ever want to loose him or his friends to senseless violence.
Make peace with your self, then with others.
Thanks,
ERIC
Omg...I won't lie, this video made me cry..it made me tear up. I'm really glad you are here for us. I love you the way you are and I'm really glad you have this kind of line with your family, that you're still apart of their lives. It might not be the way you would have hoped but it's better than not having any connection with them. You are amazing and strong. Thank you.
I wanna give you the biggest hug ever! You are so brave to tell us your story and for that I commend you for it. I'm crying as I'm typing this because I dealt with my coming out two years ago. It wasn't pretty. And even after two years,I'm still in that position as of right now. Sebastian,thank you for sharing your story with us Internet folks. Sending you loads of hugs and kisses/ positive vibes your way. I love you❤️!
Hi Sebastian,I'm sitting here alone as usual at two o'clock in the morning on TH-cam not able to sleep. Watching coming out videos,when I came across yours. Tears are the proper reaction to your story. You don't have to hold them back. Thats just the macho culture we have been told is how to be a man. I know, my dad is italian same kind of mas macho bullshit. My dad didn't use a belt though, he had a razor strap.
He died last week.He was eighty. Re married and went on to live a happy life. I never came out to him or anybody else because in my time it was unthinkable. Not only would you be thrown out there was a real possibility that you would be beaten and the rest of the community would praise him for being a real man and protecting his family honor. Certainly you would be shunned from the rest of your family.
So I stayed silent. I have never been on a date not even for coffee. Never been with anyone. Lived my entire life lonely and unloved. My mother was disabled by a drunk driver when I was twenty, I became her full time caregiver so I had a built in excuse for not going out to find a girl. And for the next twenty three years thats what I did. The rest of my family felt unsuited or uninterested in helping our mother and my parents were in the middle of their nasty three year long divorce. So my father was not around,not that I minded. So until I was forty three it was mostly just the two of us. My mother most likely suspected but neither of us ever said anything about it. Denial can be a powerful thing.
When she passed I was left alone and because I never worked outside the home I was also left with almost nothing. No job,money,friends,relationships,education and because it was right at the time of the economic melt down,no home. I moved in with my catholic sister and her family where I still live and am still in the closet. Nobody mentions it. Denial again. Now because of a fluke injury, I am most likely going to die within five years, Kidney failure. A transplant is a very long shot for my blood type.
But then I never did have much of a life to begin with. So I watch other peoples stories and marvel at the change that has taken place over the years. Your story in particular moved me. So thank you for that and by the way did you finish college? What do you what to be? Good luck with your future. Thanks.
wow all i can really say is wow. you've truly had your share of hardships. #respect
im a film major, but i left SCAD as a junior. i always took the classes i wanted, and when i left, i could safely say i got what i came for.
now that im co-creating a new web series called "current affairs", that will be coming in handy. :)
Sebastian Castro Hi Sebastian, Thanks. Congrats! I searched your name on TH-cam after I saw your video and so much great content came up. You really have done so much in such a short time. Good luck on the new series I'm sure it will also be great. Thanks.
I subscribed to you. I wish you could tell your story in a book or on a TH-cam video.
Lex Zender Hi lex, I saw your notification in my e-mail. Thank you. I left a message on your channel. Like I said there I don't make any content. I have no camera presence. I would love to tell my whole story but it is long and depressing.
I don't want to bore people. But I love talking to people like you.
I follow some other youTubers you might like and I would love it if I saw you in the comments areas. They are "Musclebaked" Kevin is great and gorgeous;)
"Supdaily6 Chris is just the best Kind,thoughtful,and a great ally.
"Joey Nano" has a really good attitude.
"AnthonydelucV" He makes music play lists and has great conversation and great hair:)
"Daniel Coz" Cute fun to watch and funny.
And "Seanfitnessfreak" The adventures of a boy and his dog.
I hope you like them. I'd love it if you could tell me a little about yourself.
Where are you? What's your story? Who else do you follow? Hope to hear from you
Thanks.
Michael Pesavento, I do not know how to comment in your channel or how to access the comments in my channel LOL. I use an iPad and an iPhone so it's different from my iMac that I left in Florida. My email is lexzender57732@gmail.com please send me an email. I wish you all the best.
I feel it's never easy especially when it comes to your parents, because somehow there's a lot of expectation coming from their side and it always feel like you're not good enough not being able to live up to their expectation. Before anything, I've already decided to leave the house first and live independently. I do hope one day I have the courage to go back and confront my fear.
Thank you for sharing your story. Lots of love..
so much yes
Sebastian Castro great for u. i never have courage to do it
+Sebastian Castro First of all how are you doing? Are you okay now since time has pasted I just wanted to thank you for being there for all that need you and your inspiration to help guide them through it. keep your head up and your awesome love you always my family for life and never will it ever change i promise.
Bravely done, Sebastian! Never apologize for tears! :) Jack
I don't know how you feel because I've not come out to my parents yet. Even my family is very religious. I'm Hindu. All of them(parents, cousins, aunts, uncles) have great expectations from me: I have to marry and have kids. But I know I might not be able to do that. Moreover my elder brother is gay too(he's not come out too). This puts extreme pressure on me to fulfill my family's dreams(marriage and kids). The societal norms are so hard to go against, I'm realizing this now.
Out of all people, my dad is the most open minded persons in my life, who 'might' accept me as I am. I do not know 'when' to come out, because I feel that the timing is key for these things to workout well. The worst thing is that I just do not know how they'll react. Let's hope for the best!
Brother, you've given me more strength today. I will hope that you'll have a good, stable life.
Sebastian. You have no idea how hard this hits me. That is crazy on how similar your story is to mine. I always used to play sick to get out of going to the meetings and one day when they were trying to get me to go i just came out kinda just like you did. Even the part of your dad and the belt that would happen to me too. And even after I came out my dad told me pretty much the same thing about leaving. This makes me feel better because I never would have thought that someone like you came from growing up the same way I did with Jehovah Witnesses for parents. This literally has me thinking about so much! Thank you for posting this!!!
you have no idea how much i want to wrap my arms around you and squeeze. that most definitely ranks high on the list of uncanny coincidences. thank you loads for sharing too.
Sebastian Castro Jorge Galvan incredible coincidence: my JW father loved using his belt on me too. That must be "their thing". But I'll say one thing for myself, when he used to beat me with his belt, I never shed a tear! I didn't want to look weak and give him the satisfaction of seeing me hurt (perhaps it was more painful cause he kept beating me, but morally, I won every single time! So much for "God is love". One sentence from the bible he always repeated me in his sick idea of hitting me for "my own good" was Prov 22.15: "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a boy,
But the rod of discipline will remove it far from him" THAT WAS HIS MOTIVE! The reason he beat me was because "The Bible says so". Crazy, crazy,crazy! I'm so glad I have nothing to do with that bullshit anymore, sometimes u need to accept that your parents are your parents, but if they don't want you for who you are, probably you shouldn't want them for who they are. So much pain, and harassment for what? "Cause the bible says so"? In my "new world" love should come first and parents should love their children no matter what!
I fell the same way as all of you. I'm also a Jehovah's whiteness and I try to fake sick because I just need to think on what I think I am. Sebastian Castro, if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here for you. I always fell alone as well bc there are is only 1 JW but he is in a different grade. Your video really opened my mind for who I am. Thank you for posting this. If you want to talk just get me on Google hangouts and I could send you my #. I don't see why JW's can't choose there one S.O. I'm not trying to beat down my own religion but I was thinking, its our life so why cant we choose our own sexual orientation. I also don't see why you was harassed, but I know how you feel. Everything you said in your video was true to me. You are a inspiration to all JW's out there. have a happy 2015.
Mario Neroni Please do not accept violence and cruelty as a healthy or good thing. It is 100% wrong and evil
Dillon Conway u and him as well inspired me in many ways I to am a JW but I dnt think I'll be for any longer due to family conflict
No loving God would put that kind of abuse and emotional damage on you. Religion has completely disgraced any higher power that exists.
these are words i need on a bumper sticker ^bear hug^
I agree John, Our God doesn't make mistakes and on judgement day all the bigoted "Christians" will learn how wrong they were for advocating hate and intolerance!
"Hello I am God, I can do Everything and I know Everything.
I test you all the time to see what you will do, Although I already know in advance what you will do and Although I created you, and I know what you will do, I will still punish you for what you will do. Although it's all my Plan."
One of the reason (more of a Logic) I'm an Atheist.
There is a lot of confusion and contradiction in the old testament between information given by what we can call God and information given by " the Gods . " These so-called Gods were self serving and not divine. In the old testament all are called God, or when named such as Yahweh or Jehovah are confused with the true divine God. Its only an alien old testament god condemning homosexuality, and the cultural norms of the time. This does not reflect the will of,the true divine source at all.
U are free to accept this or not as u choose.
Thank u for your posting.
STTGAEGOAKTD
Jw s can really fucc, your life and thats more babaric, its abuse and thats Not acceptable. I feel for you, its been a few years since you made you video and i hope your life has gotten better.
Oh my god I'm crying. you poor soul. I'm so sorry about your life, that dark time. literally just crying my eyes out for you. I'm subscribing for certain . you see my mother inlaws are gay and they are wonderful and I am not suppose to talk with them because my mother in law is gay and disfellowshipped and this religion says not to associate with them. this is something people need to see. this raw piece of your life that is so real. hugs from texas sir . massive hugs
Sebastian I can relate totally to you
I myself grew up in a Jehovah witness family
One grandfather was an elder
Like you I also had a very dominant father(and I can feel your tears and anger when you talk about him)
I remember the day my family found out that I gay, I was at my aunts house in northern Michigan and my aunt told me to leave the house because my father was on his way to her place with a shotgun!
From that day forward I never step foot back in my fathers house I went my grandparents house down the road apparently the news made it there and I was told never to come back in this house again!
From that day forward it was like a ton of bricks off my chest I do not have to worry about it anymore and a new life began for me and like you a bunch of struggles came and overcame them!
I'M GLAD EVERYTHING WORKED OUT FOR YOU MAN AND I FEEL EVERY BIT OF WHAT YOU'RE SAYING AND LIKE YOU SAID YOU'RE NOT ALONE THIS IS COMING FROM ME TO YOU ARE NOT ALONE BROTHER I'M HERE!
All this took place back in the early 90s I have been with my partner going on 18 years now!
LOTS OF LOVE ROBERT
as rough as that was, thank you for sharing. you suddenly made me happy my dad never had a gun. wheew. it generally gets easier with each passing generation.
sincerest of thank you's for sharing robert. lots of love to both you and your man.
Wow...this made me cry. As a former JW as of two years ago, who also is gay, this reminds me of when I came out. Of course I got married to a woman to make the feelings go away. I was appointed an elder right before being disfellowshipped, and didn't even know it, until my judicial meeting.
It is very hard to come to terms with your sexuality, especially with that organization. I commend you on your courage. I lost my parents, just as you have lost yours. My mom has recently started talking to me, very limited conversation of course, and we have the same agreement that you and your parents have, that of not talking about being gay, and not talking about going back to the meeting.
I wish you continued success. I thank you for helping other closeted JW's, and those who are not even JW, to see that you can come out and live a life still full of happiness.
If you are ever in Oregon, I would love to meet you.
Steven Hook i appreciate you sharing this. it's very personal but somehow it helps. thank you.
Hi. I'm a former jw who is also gay. If you want to chat sometimes hit me up.
Thank you, Sebastian, for sharing your story!
I was a JW for over 40 years...served as an elder and regular pioneer...fathered a beautiful daughter. Finally, I came to terms with being gay. Like you said, all things are not black and white...and for me losing most of my family, including my daughter has been painful. But there was a real freedom in coming out too.
I guess I wanted to add my two cents and let you know that you are not alone in facing these challenges!
Please be safe and be well!
Thank you again, for having the courage to be honest about your journey.
Ron
Hugs... Your story, so personal, is able to be shared with so many who feel totally alone. Coming out to the family has to be one of the hardest events growing up gay, and your story resonates with many. When I was 18 and came out, the internet was still years away. Needless to say, I felt utterly alone.
You are a remarkable young man with a message, and your journey is just beginning.
Sending you love, light, and energy your way.
First of all, i would like to congratulate you in finally having the courage and bravery to find your true inner self and being able to share this on the internet shows that society is moving ever so close to that ultimate goal of equality. You have also expressed your up most feelings which not a lot of people would talk about in person on camera to show to millions of people. Once again, I'am truly grateful for you sharing your experiences and giving people still 'in the closet' a person who they can look up to. (By the way when you said you had no friends because of your parent's religion, i genuinely wanted to give you a hug but can't cos it'll look awks)
Thanks for sharing your story. My coming out process was actually a fairly good experience which I am very grateful for, yet it breaks my heart to hear stories like yours. I could really feel the hurt and pain you were showing in your video and I'm really sorry you had to go through that, but I truly believe that some of the hardships and challenges we face and overcome in life make us a stronger and more beautiful person in the end. Continue to share your story and love with others because I know it is helping a lot of people. Thanks again and I hope for the best for you in the years to come.
Thank you for showing your courage and support. I also grew up Jehovah's Witness and nothing has been harder then trying to define my faith and also my sexuality. I haven't been to a meeting since 2009 when I officially came out to my family, and that has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. My relationship with my family is still very strained always having to tip toe around issues or topics but I'm thankful that they are still a part of my life even if it's in a bare minimum Way. I have days where I feel really good and I have other days where I feel conflicted with what I believe, what I thought I believed, and who I am as a person...which includes my sexuality. For me it's s daily struggle. But I keep trying to find the brightest part of that gray area that you talking about. Thank you for sharing your story you never know how much to help someone else. Thank you
you're one more person added to our ever-growing pile of those who were formerly jehovah's witness and closeted. thanks for opening up. it means something to those reading.
Sebastian I am so glad you made this video also! It felt like looking in the mirror at my past self... I completely understand some of those same feelings. To see you; took me to that time in my life ...of the weight of my feelings, knowing your gay, and the 'weight' of being a "exemplary" Jehovah's Witness. All the time dying to express your true self (which was an unspeakable sin). Boy, do I know those feelings, and seeing you express them so raw...It reminds me that I should have left sooner. More importantly, you are never really alone. Thank you!
I first stumbled across your fabulous Bubble music video, and I loved it immediately! So I have been following you on U-tube, and seeing now that you are way more than the funny outgoing gay show-act, hearing about your background... I have ever more respect for you! Both your cheerful gay-themed vids and your shared moments of thoughtfulness surely mean a lot to many viewers, and I wish to thank you for both! Keep on being who you are!
I absolutely loved this video especially because we come from similar yet different cultures with many like views and generalizations. I mostly have gotten over it with my parents (my father was accepting and supportive, believe it or not, and my mother was the complete opposite), but my mother still makes the occasional comment and all.
Sebastian, thank you for what you have said about spending time with your parents because they will die. I hadn't thought of things that way. I frequently just want to leave this house because even though I have some freedom, I still feel like a prisoner here. You gave me a whole new outlook on that.
Secondly, thanks for giving me hope again about finding someone. You're right. "He will come." I admit I get a little anxious sometimes and try to force myself to find someone. The last time I did that, it did not end too pretty.
Thank you for sharing everything you did with people around the world. You are an inspiration and a form of support to many. Thank you! You definitely know how to put a smile on our faces even in the most serious, tough and heart breaking situations.
Sending you much love from Texas,
Jaime D.
the occasional comment can really bite some times. i feel you. it's my first time here visiting my parents in over a year. i was looking forward to visiting some extended family, but because they're devoutly jehovah's witness, my mom told me it was better they don't see me. that was the sting i was feeling right before i turned on my cam. *sigh* this is by far my most depressing video. promise to lighten things up next time around.
Sebastian Castro it's funny you bring that up. The other day, a distant aunt and one of her kids came to visit. They live in Mexico. We live in the US. She asks him something and yells at him. "What did you say? Say it more like a man! You sound like a fag!"
That really hurt, and I felt things get a little awkward. See, my immediate family knows, but my mother still tries to cover up for me, even though I'm sure they, too, know.
I don't think your video was as depressing as it was inspiring. It shed light on a lot of things others may be unsure or have questions about. Thank you. It takes a man to share everything you shared in that video.
Not a depressing video Sebastian. You should make more serious videos that can inspire people to love and be compassionate like this video.
Hey I'm so glad I found this video, I came out to my jw parents a while ago. I told my mom and she didn't freak out but she got me reading things and you know. One day my dad hit me and it really hurt me emotionally and they're not accepting. I'm not sure when I'll leave the religion but it'll be soon. I'm really hoping that things get better for me and u.
Thank you so much for searching your story. I been watching a lot of coming out videos lately because I'm thinking of coming out to my family. Most have been the really happy, go lucky ones. But I know mine isn't going to be like that. My family had some clues and I've been beat a few times for doing things that are less than straight. I'm really sorry about what happened between you and your family as a result of you coming out to them. I'm scared that my family will have the same reaction but you had so much strength and courage. Once again thank you so much for searching your story!
Absolutely honest and touching. It also went rather fluent on the cam and that's quite unusual.
Either way, I thank you for sharing your heart, courage, pride...love.....
Nothing shall break ur spirit! Promise us THAT!!
This person was so eager for me to come out to my parents and after several attempts, I was able to do it. Luckily my parents are positive about this even we're a Catholic family. Thank you for inspiring me and I'm so happy that I met you and became one of my best buds (and a lil brother as well) You're an inspiration and I hope you can inspire others to do it.. Just always remember guys.. there's a right time and that time will come if you're ready to accept both negative or positive things that might happen... big hugs to everyone mwahhhh
Just happened upon this video. I guess I can't pass up a pretty face. This was a truly gripping and heart-wrenching story you told. Thanks for sharing this. I don't know how often you post videos, but you have a new 'fan'. Love & hugs!
I am glad to see that you made it through this and have posted more videos since. It is SO important that others in this situation see that you have survived and succeeded. *HUGS*
I've never heard a whitness struggle like this (parent wise). Mind you, this is the second JW coming out I've ever seen because I was too scared to look them up. Thank you. Thank you for giving me the strength to keep fighting for my own happiness. You are an amazing person, keep being amazing. ♡
Dear Sebastian, i'm only watching this video almost 5 years later that you made it but i just want to tell you how thankful i am for guys like you, who went through utter hell, and made it! When i listen to you, i realize that i had it easy coming out to my parents, which btw i thought was so traumatic. You are an incredible inspiration to anybody, especially young gay guys that needs to come out or are in a similar situation that you were. Thank you Seb, you are truly amazing! May you forever be blessed by happiness, cos you soooooooo deserve it!
This was an amazing video - your eloquence and poise while telling a truly heart-breaking story is admirable. You're beautiful Sebastian!
Im a 22yr old hispanic Jehovahs Witness. Ive been censored for about 2 yrs from come out to the elders. I was to the point where I didn't want to live anymore. I needed help but all I received was negativity. Im at the point where I just can't go on with this lie and pretending to be something I can not be. Your video as given me the strength to find my silver lining in the lightest grey cloud I can find.
Thank you .
Thank you for sharing this story Sebastian, so many have had similar experiences , its always hard to make that decision to come out, especially when your whole world was the JW's, its been 35 years for me and I would never want to go back, all my family are still waiting for God's kingdom to save them from this wicked world, but they are missing out on so much of what it has to offer, life, love, and beauty.
Michael Martineau *big hug your way*
Same to you
I came out yesterday to my JW parents and it was one of the hardest things I have done, thank you for sharing your story. For me it was more about words and reactions about what my orientation is, I never heard my mother cry that hard, she screamed as if she was told that I died, it was horrible my father, he was very calm but I knew with his eyes he was asking God, why is this happening?, my parents think I'm confused, and these are just "tendencies" or a phase, I have known since I was a kid, but finally now I was pressured to say it out loud by my parents.
Well here’s a friendly reminder that you’re not alone. I’m happy you were brave enough to take that step and I wish you all the strength to deal with what comes next. ❤️🧡💛💚💙
@@SebastianCastro thank you
I can relate to this video in some ways. Although I was never forced into JW, my very close grandmother aunt pushed me to learn more of god. I loved having a channel to express my faith, I studied with them for three years. I loved it, but I despised the conflict of my faith and sexuality. That was the main reason why I never did become officially a member of the local congregation. Later on, I continued to have disagreements with the teachings and by freshman year of high school, I stopped having anything to do with them. I wanted to be myself freely. But I also lost some of my spirituality. Overall though, I'm glad I was able to be myself and develop my own opinions on faith and god. I hope JW reaches a point of open mindedness and acceptance of all, so no one has to suffer what Seb went through, or feel that they are not welcomed.
thanks for sharing this. im still just open-jawed surprise that there's yet another former jehovah's witness commenting on this thread. :O
Thank you for the honest, heartfelt video, tears and all! Parents can be so challenging. It's never easy. I love how you wish we find our brightest spot of gray. It took me 20 years. I wish I could say I'm over it, but that emotional reaction to my parents remains even in my 40s.
But I cherish the bright gray!
Thank you!
I'm a Jehovah's Witness teen but my mom practically forced me to get baptized. So I did. Now, I regret that decision so much.
I just realized I'm pansexual a few days ago and now I'm scared for my life. I'm afraid that if I somehow let slip that fact, I'm gonna get kicked out. I'm only 15. I don't have anywhere else to go.
My dad is the only Witness in his family. Everyone else is Catholic and I still don't think they'd accept me. I come from the Philippines, and there's an obvious stigma towards the LGBT community.
I also became an atheist on April. That was when I officially went PIMO. That means Physically In Mentally Out. I learned that term in a subreddit and I've used it to describe myself ever since.
It's really hard to trying to hide my true self to my own family. I wish I could live my truth.
P.S. I'm sorry for the long comment. There's just no one who I can pour my heart to.
from a frustated teen...
I’m so proud of you. Growing up gay as Jehovahs wittiness is a nightmare. Your story made me cry. I hope your doing well and living your best life. ❤️ the way you speak, your so smart. You have a great way of telling your story and speaking. I would love to hear more about you experience as growing up a Jehovahs wittiness. My experience was terrifying and hard. Thank you Sebastian. If you can share more, i would love to hear more of you experiences.
Thank you for sharing, I'm sorry to hear that your patents didn't take it well. I come from a rather religious family but we're Catholic and believe in unconditional love of family. Surprisingly both my brothers said that they already knew, Dad said it was my life to do with as I saw fit, Mom was the difficult one bit for a long time she believed it was just a phase. I was 23 at the time though, serving active duty in the US Army during the days of DADT. I ended up coming out of the closet to the military because I feel that it isn't psychologically healthy for someone to try to live a lie, having to pretend you're someone else just so you can be accepted. Thankfully DADT changed the discharge status to am honorable one, so I'm still eligible for all the veteran benefits.
*tightest of tight bear hugs*
Thank you for sharing your story. It is SO important for us to share because those who continue to struggle need to find a voice that resembles their situation. Your arrangement with your parents is not ideal, but it is probably the best you can expect. Show them the unconditional love that they have failed to show to you.
I am a Jehovah's Witness though when it comes to the Bible's principles, I find that some of my beliefs don't go along with what others believe. There are some who act like being anything but straight makes a person disgusting but that's simply not true. Anyone who believes in the Bible needs to remember that when Jesus gave comandments, he said that first and foremost, you have to LOVE OTHERS. Then all the other commandments came. Judging others is not our responsibility as imperfect humans. The Bible says that it is GOD'S RIGHT to judge humans. That means that no matter who you are, what you believe, who you love, where you're from, etc. I will show love and respect to you. I try to make sure that what I believe actually comes from me. I study the Bible on my own and decide what I believe. Anyone who claims to be a witness but then shames people for things like sexuality, gender identification, religious beliefs, etc. is not a true witness. We are to LOVE our neighbour. We are not to judge them, hate them, spur them away, or anything like that. Love and compassion and respect are key, regardless of other factors.
k
Your religion is a disgusting cult.
+BornAgain
happyfriday He calls it disgusting becasuse of the hate it puts for gays. (even if you are not supposed to hate, read the actual comment on the top) Now, I respect you and your religion, but I am pretty sure this is what ZTPDrake7Kid means.
ok
That's exactly how I feel!
you are amazing Sebastian from one former Jehovah's witnesses to another I understand and feel the emotions you are going through and thank you for making this video. its taught me a lot that I'm not crazy and I am just like any other person just different in the way in which whom I choose to love, which is shared by millions of gay people around the world. Religion has taught us that we must love in conformity when in actual fact love cannot and will never be tamed into conformity, it will just simply Love whom ever, wherever and whenever. Thank you for your honesty.
That was really inspirational and you made me feel like I really matter. I know I don't really have much to say but in the meantime thank you for being the fun loving person I've gotten to know these past 10 minutes ❤️
You know it's funny that I'm bearly bumping into this video. So many things you said I related to and this video would´ve helped me out so much back in 2014 when I came out to my dad haha. Ever since we came back to Mexico my parents started taking me to the Witnesses and I wasn't really into it but had no problem going because I was a "good boy", but I always knew I was gay. It wasn't until my mom passed away that I started being more active in the congregation, mostly out of gratitude because they really supported us during out grieving period. I felt happy when I found an English speaking congregation here in Mexico and was able to practice my English more. My dad was proud of me, he couldn't pay my college tuition and had remarried (which made me feel lonlier) but he was glad to see that I had found a job and worked my way up to principal in an English School and that I was a "good witness". There was always this feeling of guilt I had, feeling like no matter where I was I didn't fit in, even if I was suppossed to. I felt very hipocrate preaching and having studies. One day my receptionist showed me an app to meet guys. I went out on some dates in secret but the last one became serious. I lied to him and told him I wasn't from any religion but he eventually found out and broke up with me. At that moment I felt how my entire life was based on lying, the more I was trying not to hurt anyone the more I was just putting everyone through pain, including myself. I decided that I had to stop. I looked up info everywhere on the topic, too bad this wasn't up back then, there was nothing at the time. I built up courage and told my dad the next day. He asked me if I had been molested or anything when I was younger and I told him that no, I am just like that (he asked me if I thought my mom would've been proud but I told him that I think she knew either way). He wanted me to talk to the elders, that maybe I was confused but honestly I refused, I honestly didn't feel like having to talk to people I didn't really matter to, I just wanted the people who matter to know. I moved out of my house and rented an apartment. My boyfriend supported me and we got bak together, we now live together and are making a house and our very own English school ( I taught him :P). Like you, my dad and I came to some terms, he doesn't get involved in my lovelife. I still visit him, his wife and my little brother and sister every once in a while, they never reject me nor try to make me go back to the witnesses. I don't feel like sad or guilty anymore. I learned to love myself, to be honest, especially to those I love. It doesn't feel like I left my family because I'm gay, it feels more like when you notice you have to leave the nest and start your own life. Hahaha sorry for the letter, I just wanted to post it for some reason :P
Never be ashamed to cry. Your story tells me what a man you are. Thank you for reminding me how lucky I was to have such supportive friends and family. May only good come your way.
Hi Sebastian. This is the first time I saw this video. I like it when your vulnerable and honest. It only shows your strength. I like your courage. What you've shared is personal and yet you share it to us, people who you absolutely do not know. And I thank you for that. You have the ability to be profound and silly sometimes. I like that too. Thank you again.
Hey Seb,
Today I read about a young transgender girl who committed suicide. Her family didn't want to accept her as she was and still refers to her as him.
It just breaks my heart whenever I hear something like that. I want parents everywhere to raise their children with unconditional love, but I realise that some people grow up without the love they need, and that just hurts.
What you said about your father also sounds very unlike Christ to me, and that just hurts me more.
I'm one of those guys lucky enough to have loving parents. My father doesn't want to talk with me about my sexuality, or maybe he just doesn't know how. My mom seems to be calibrating her point of view, but I guess she just needs some time.
We are the lucky ones. The ones that came through that dark period in our lives, when we hid that depressing secret. You should be proud of the young man you've become. I know sharing this wasn't easy, but you did it anyway, and I'm thankful that you did.
To all the young people who don't feel as loved as I do. You should know that I care about you. I know Seb does too, that's why he made that video. There are millions of people out there who would like to be your friend.
And there is a God out there who loves you with a love that will never end.
I wanted to reach through the screen and hold you tight when you told your story because I've been there. I grew up as a JW and knew I was gay from the time I was 13. I ended up leaving the org at 21 (for multiple reasons), much to the dismay of my family who is still in it, and even now, my relationship with them is strained. But I made it through because of the beautiful friends I made outside of the org.
Thank you for sharing your experience with all of us. And if you ever need to talk, I'm here.
Aww sebastian.. this was so sweet. I grew up one of Jehovah's Witnesses in a very conservative anti-gay famil, as well. I even pioneered when I graduated high school but it was all superficial. I loved the congregation and had wonderful friends but.. I was gay. And I knew that would never ever be ok with any of them. I fronted until I graduated college when I got as far away from there as possible (which for me was Hawaii) - a place where I could be me and not be guilted. Thanks for making this video. There's a lot of young people in the same place we were. They are loved. Peace, my brotha! and, of course, keep making videos. Aloha~~~
believe it or not, this is my first time actually hearing from someone else that was once jehovah's witness and closeted. thanks for sharing that. really do appreciate that. i have yet to see a gay film with a closeted jehovah's witness character, but i particularly love watching a film called "latter days." have you seen it?
Sebastian Castro Yes, I have. Good movie. Very similar situation.
Your video was pretty intense, but I am glad that you were able to finally be who you are. Never be afraid to show emotion, or cry. Crying isn't a sign of weakness, but of strength. It takes a lot of that strength to finally come to terms with who you are. Who you are is beautiful, and never let anyone tell you different. I hope your relationship has gotten better with your folks. I come from a religious background, and totally know where your coming from. I dealt with a lot of self doubt/hate for a while, until I was able to come to terms with who I am. I was in/out of the closet a number of times, but i am so much happier now. especially with accepting and loving who I am.
Touching! I am bisexual, raised by Jehovah's Witness elder and long time regular pioneer mom. I left the "truth" as it's called at 19 I think it was. It was over me forming different beliefs, that was so hard to tell my parents, but now they've come to somewhat accept it. But I've only spoken briefly and vaguely with my mom about the fact that I love both sexes, and my dad.... I'm a little afraid to go there. Theyd still love and accept me I already know. Just their respect for me is something I'm afraid to lose I grew up being the black sheep different child that was a little shunned and now thats finally changed.... I'm afraid to make them disrespect me again.
happy you were able to leave. seems you have a lot to think about in terms of coming out to your own parents. as nice as it would be, i can understand your desire to wait. the right time will come. *^bear hug^*
Wow ,this is very powerful. Amazing incredible story. I too am a Jehovah's Witnesses that came out to my family, and although it was rough and confusing being in that situation I totally understand because quite literally the same thing that happened to you, happened to me. I'm amazed that others like yourself are out there, posting this video was brave and I commend you for that. I'm still a Witness, although I don't attend all the meetings I'm still a witnesses. Keep your chin up because it does get better. Thank you
I'm so happy you made this video, I'd like to really get to know you I think you have a lot to offer the world and I'd love to hear more stories
I cried while watching this.
I am a bi teenage girl living in a Jehovah's Witness household. My mom knows, and she's the only JW who does. She immediately dismissed it as part of the "turbulent teens", making a point of mentioning that she doesn't want me to have a BOYfriend until I'm older. Slowly telling everyone that I have never believed in the JW faith. That's going as expected, quoting Scriptures I've been forced to know since I could read.
I know that any LGBTQ have been raised in religious households but Jehovah's Witnesses live and breathe their faith on a level very few would be able to understand unless they live it. Hearing you describe it makes me once again realize how absolutely insane some of the beliefs are.
Thank you so much for making this video.
My god i was shaking watching this video! I grew up as one of JWs and always knew I was bi. My entire family are strictly JW and wouldn't be anything else. Even when I got into an Ivy league university on full scholarship, they did not want me to go but I did. I still haven't come out to them but man I feel the anxiety, the desperation, the confusion, the pain, the racing thoughts, the self doubts, I feel all the elements you feel man. Thanks for this video. It helps to know I'm not alone in this
most inspiring story I've ever heard. you are such a strong person.
Tow years ago I came out to my family, whose are Jéhovah's witnesses too, it was so hard for me, I love them a lot, and coming out for me meant loss their company and their support, the things you do are incredible and inspiring, keep making great videos, thanks
Hey Sebastian, I've watched a couple of your music videos and weirdly enough wondered if you had a connection to the JW's ;-) My story is very similar to yours , but took place on the other side of the world . I grew up in South Africa , was raised as a JW and baptised at 15 and came out to my parents at 17 - very traumatic , but one thing is for sure - There is life outside the WTS and its great to be free; -) God bless you dude x
Thank you for making this video my friend. Many people will be helped by it.You are a great person for sharing your emotions with all of us. I love you.
the 9:54 part was.. well.. made my heart warm.. aaaaaand well luckily my mom accepted me for who i am and she said "kung masaya ka sa pagiging ganon masaya na rin ako kasi mahal kita, kasi anak kita." .. and my dad.. well. the bastard left us when i was still a child.. so no worries with him. aaaand kinilig ako when you looked straight tothe camera.. hahaha.. your so brave.. ryan is lucky to have you. :)
HAHAHA ♥
I feel I have so much to say about your video but at the moment I am lost for words. I relate so much with what you have gone through, it has opened my mind to understanding you a lot better as a friend and I admire you so much for your bravery in coming out in the way you did. Something I have never been able to do with my parents. I would love to PM you sometime in FB and give you my story, there are certain things that are very similar to yours! Well done Sebastian. I am so glad you also met Ryan, who's family are so understanding and given you something that may have been lacking within your own family. Compassion, Love and Understanding! Love you lots. :-)
Wow. This story made me cry. How can parents be so rude? That's something I'm never going to understand.
psalms83;18
I can see so much suffering in your voice. Thanks for sharing it. It's inspiring and it gives us courage.
Hello, I'm a peruvian guy who has just found out your vids and I just wanted to say I understand what you passed with your parents. Being gay in Peru is harder because the society we live. I never told my parents, actually I never thought I'd tell them... they found out and it was so terrible, specially for my dad. Peruvian men are raised as the "Macho", phrases as "boys don't cry" you can hear everytime and due to that they grow being so mean with someone who is not "macho" as them (it's not just for gays even women we can put in the group). I know this happened time ago, just wanted to say try to understand your dad because it was for the society he grew up. By the way, things with my dad got better at last, now we're ok but preferably do not talk about it. I have told him he won't lead my life so has to let me being happy as I am. By the way, come to Peru it's a nice place to visit, but not for live if someone is gay lol
ps. I like you hair, I'd like to have it like you have... and you speak so understandable, I like your accent.
que bueno oir tu historia. si ellos crecieron en un mundo diferente y me trato de entender eso. mi espanol no es tan bueno porque ellos no lo hablaron tanto en la casa. pero quiero decirte que te mando mi amor y mis buenos sentimientos desde este frio lugar en london. que sinceramente te valla bien!
Sebastian, You are a special kind of soul, I was raised Pentecostal so I felt the same turmoil, I could feel that belt as you relived it... That took guts and thank you for it!!
Sebastian! you're so fucking important to me, you said "I'm here", and I just wanted to say to u that "I always stay here too for u" #hugsfromBrazil
Thank you for sharing. I also grew up in the church and wish I had these videos to help me through it, know that others are going thru the same thing. I am sure it helps other young people going through the same thing. Good job. :)
It's hard enough growing up JW straight, I can only imagine how it is for anyone growing up LGBT. *HUGS*
Thanks for sharing your story :) I was also a JW and came out of the closet when I was 21, now I'm 24. Back in that time I was searching for video's about stories of JW's who came out and I couldn't find any. So I think it's great you uploaded this. That's also the reason I made a video on my channel, but the quality of yours is way better. I had tears in my eye listening to your story. I wish you al the best! Greetings from Belgium :)
being a 65 yr old gay man I do not make comments pertaining to videos that I read, yours is the exception. I admire the courage and also the love that you have for your brothers and sisters in the gay community: people are reading and after all you may save a life. ps my uncle and his wife and family are Jehovah's Witnesses.
*tight hug*
He may have just safed mine
Touched by your story brother, you show great courage in sharing this, it WILL help others in similar situations. I wish you all the best in life, bearhug from Norway :)
Oh man... Please consider writting me if you want to talk about anything makes you happy! You are so brave - that is what a real man is!
Thanks Sebastian for the video...
A lot of people is going through this type of problem and you are helping them...
This reminds me of my own coming out. It's really hard to not have your parents 100% behind you. But I'm happy about what I have. It's OK between us for the most part. Just as long I don't talk about my sexuality
Glad to know you are getting on with things despite your parents issues. Thank you for speaking the truth that reactions aren’t always happy tears and I love you’s. But no matter what people’s reactions are it will ALWAYS get better because year after year goes by and you meet new people and others will either come around or not but won’t get worse about it all. It’s sad that some people feel suicide is the only way out of the pain. They need to know that as bad as things may seem now in the moment; it’s only temporary. Thanks for posting a supportive video for others who may be struggling too. It’s so much easier now than 25 years ago! I really like your wallpaper too!
I feel your pain. Went through the same thing. I am no longer a JW. To me it just wasn't worth the crap and lies and didn't agree with the teachings. Yep, that's how I grew up, no birthdays, no swearing, no Christmas, not allowed friends unless they were JW. It was friggin lonely. Like really, what religion teaches that you are the only superior being and only to be with those? It felt wrong. The belt and such, just sounds so much like my dad. Was the same thing and it took them a long time to wake up and realize this wasn't right. Took my parents awhile to come around and realize hey, there is nothing wrong with me and accept and support me. After reading some of the other comments here, the belt thing seems common and that is scary. My parents first reaction was same thing, you leave, don't come back. They use that as a scare tactic to make you change and obey them. Sorry, that never works. For my coming out, the shit hit the wall and then it started to involve my uncle and the bible out and its like, really, they start talking like they know what the whole lifestyle is like but they totally miss the mark. I took some time off work and left for a week, and it was to actually get away and meet someone had talked to online for a few months, just to get away. I think that really hit them hard cause all of a sudden, I am acting like an adult and making choices and they had no control. I didn't know if would have a home to come to. I was lucky and did still have a home, even with the threat of all my stuff will be thrown out on the lawn. After talking and going to one family counselling (which the counsellor pretty much told my mother off in a nice way that nothing wrong with me and they just going to have to accept it) things have turned around. I think the relationship with the parents has grown stronger now then it was back then.
Thank you for sharing your story. It's always good to know that there are people who are not alone.
I know that feel exactly. I can come out to my best friend. but just can't do it to my parents. Still looking for the right opportunity
Just came across this video. This was one of the most profound things I've seen in a while on YT. Thanks for sharing your story. It's good to see that you have overcome this.
I'm bisexual and I have yet to come out to my mother who is a Jehovah's Witness. I love my mom so much, she's my best friend. She isn't strongly religious like others in her "congregation" as they call it, in fact she's been disfellowshipped. However, she has always had an indifferent and even hateful attitude towards gay marriage, gay couples, gay people, gay in general. She despises all of it because religion has narrowed her mind so much. I fear I'll never be able to come out and truly be myself around her. The sacrifice of my happiness for her pride is so worth it because I can't bear the thought of losing her ever.
TuccTownLaydii dont worry, mothers never abandon their child. if she loves you, tell her
Tucctownlaydi
I want to share some information with you regarding homosexuality and the fact that it is not a sin. This is something that can be proven both within and outside of the publications from Watchtower Bible and Tract society. For now, I'm only going to focus on the material from within the organization and I'm going to start with 1 Cor 6:9. Get yourself a copy of the silver edition of the New World Translation (the silver sword), the previous edition of the New World Translation (the black cover), the Kingdom Interlinear of the Christian Greek Scriptures and the Insight of the Scriptures volume 1. All of these publications can also be found at jw.org.
I want you to see how the governing body has deviated from what Jehovah actually said about who would not inherit the kingdom. What Jehovah said and what the governing body said is literally like night and day. What the governing body has done is nothing short of blasphemy. They have literally written their own prejudice right into scripture to the tuned frequency of its obeying audience with very few brothers and sisters even caring enough to question the governing body's stunt.
Starting with the Kingdom interlinear at 1:Cor 6:9 there are two Greek words there: "malakos" and "arsenokoitai", which you can see mean "soft" and "liers with males". Neither term limits their subject to any particular gender. But from this point onward, the governing body begins its tainted trajectory. Their first stunt deals with the Greek word "malakos". As you can see with the kingdom interlinear, they added the word "men" to soft, hence the brackets. And without any footnote, they go straight to their blasphemy of a rendition of "nor men kept for unnatural purposes" as their so called translation in the black reference Bible. Not one word of that "translation" has any relationship to the Greek word "malakos" which the Kingdom Interlinear without their addition says means "soft". And with no support linking "malakos" to Romans 1 they list that scripture as a cross-reference to support their blatant deviation. Their second stunt can be found in the footnote of the black reference Bible. The first lie the footnote lists is "nor Sodomites" as an understanding/parallel for the Greek word arsenokoitai. It is abundantly clear that when Paul penned the word "arsenokoitai", he did not make any reference/comparison/ parallel, etc. whatsoever to ANY city, let alone one named Sodom or any derivative of that name. As proof of this here is the Greek word for Sodom: "Sódoma"; and here is the Greek word Paul actually used: "arsenokoitai". The two words are not even close to being related. So now with Sodom and its homosexual lie added to the mix via the "Sodomite" reference, the ground is fertile enough for the translators to introduce their next stunt: the addition of the word "men" to "liers with males". So now instead of working with what Paul said according to the kingdom interlinear it now goes from "liers with males" to "MEN who lie with men". The silver sword takes this lie further with arsenokoitai by adding "MEN" a second time for a total of three. They took the black reference Bible' s lie of "MEN who lie with men" and contracted it down to the phrase "homosexuality" and just added their second "MEN" to it making the silver sword read "MEN who practice HOMOSEXUALITY". And if you look at the footnote of the silver sword Bible they have the literal as being "men who lie with men". That is a bald faced lie when you look at what they say the literal is in the footnote of the black reference Bible and the literal that's found in the Kindgdom Interlinear itself. The silver sword's malakos rendering is an even bigger lie. The governing body already added men to "soft" as the kingdom Interlinear shows in the brackets with the black reference Bible's translation completely deviating from Greek. The silver sword adds MEN two more times with its rendition of "MEN who submit to HOMOSEXUAL ACTS", when the Greek provides no support for that whatsoever. So you can now see the back bending gymnastics the bigoted, homophobic governing body has done to try to change God's word to make it as a weapon against gays, specifically men. Now compare their blasphemy to the simple truth of who Jehovah via Paul was actually excluding from god's kingdom. Sometimes even a liar will inadvertently spill the truth. In your Insight on the Scriptures vol 1, turn to page 434 and look under the heading of CHILD, CHILDREN
If you look at the first paragraph, the third from the last sentence says the following: "Among the Greek terms are teʹknon (child), te·kniʹon (little child), pai·diʹon (young child), and arʹsen (male child). (Mt 10:21; Joh 13:33; Mt 2:8; Re 12:13)"
The Greek word Paul used at 1 Cor 6:9 was ARSENokoitai. I have ARSEN in all caps for a reason. The Insight book clearly has ARSEN meaning MALE CHILD and they use Rev 12:13 which uses the same ARSEN that's also in ARSENokoitai at 1 Cor 6:9 to support it. The context in Rev 12:13 identifies a reference to a child. With all of this in mind, go back at 1 Cor 6:9 and this time, let scripture speak for itself. When Paul used the phrase "liers with males", he didn't identify the gender of who was doing the laying. The original Greek left it open, but the governing body's blasphemous rendering did not. They did just the opposite of what Jehovah did and unsuccessfully jumped through every kind of hoop to try to get away with adding MEN to it as a weapon against gays. But Jehovah said no such thing, he clearly was condemning ANYONE, MALE OR FEMALE who lay with a MALE CHILD. And when you look at the context and the setting of Paul's time, the abuse of boys existed during that time, and yet Jehovah was delicately able to condemn the abuse regardless of the gender involved and more importantly without importing a homosexuality concept of any kind.
The tragedy in all of this is the unimaginable damage and pain being done to gay witnesses all over the globe. Most witnesses will not even be motivated to fact check the governing body's translation but will instead assist in the slow, internal suicide of our gay brothers and sisters by wishing them options that they as straight individuals would never wish upon themselves. But fortunately their cry for help is growing and friends are starting to listen to them. What the governing body has done is sad and it's sickening, because as you can clearly see Jehovah NEVER said that they would be barred from his kingdom. The governing body is the LYING homophobe, not Jehovah. And believe it or not, more witnesses are starting to see that.
TruAgape1234 Dude what are you talking about? In the old testament it specifically comands the Death of homosexuals. & saying that verse is talking about male children is a huge leap..
Angello Esparza,
You show me where I talked about the Old Testament.
TruAgape1234 You said it's not a "sin"...then proceeded to cite the bible. I'm just making it clear that it is a sin according to its teachings.
Very proud of you for sharing your story and letting your story give hope and consolation to others.
That was amazing seb...i wish i could do the same thing for myself... its just that i find it so hard..i grew up in a religious family... my uncle is a priest... my cousin is on seminary now, my two aunties are teachers, i grew up with them, not with my parents, its just so hard for me to come out to my parents coz our relationship as a child-parents is not that really strong... i remember once, my uncle asked me, if im a gay, if i am attracted to men, and i denied it, i was scared then, and he reminded that God created only man and woman. That being gay is wrong, and i should not be. Now, i wanna be free, i know my mom knows who i am, u know, moms instinct, its just that i cant say it to her... 😕😕😢😢😳😳
Thanks for sharing. You are a mature, wise, young man. Bless you! And never be embarrassed by tears. They are good, honest expressions of emotion. Don't hide them.
Sebastian Thank you for sharing your story. I was in a relationship with a JW who hide his gay life from his Latino family for the first 9 years of our relationship. I was his "roommate" when we would visit his family and then one day he just could no longer stand the lying and told his family. It was not a good day as you can imagine. His mother did not speak to him for almost 2 years. As time went on his mother became more accepting, We are no longer in a couple, he found another man he loves and last year they married and his mother came to their wedding! Time helps a great deal. I am still part of my ex's family and I just spent a weekend with my ex, his husband and his family at his sisters wedding, You probably will not believe this but I am surround by witness' both practicing and former at work and in my personal life in fact I have now dated 4 ex-witness' in the past 25 years. Of those 4 only 1 does not have a good relationship with his family. I felt I needed to comment because of my positive experiences with witness' I wanted you to know hopefully with time your parents may be as accepting as my ex's family is today. I wish for you love and peace in your life.
BIG HUGS,
Ed
Sebastian; thank you for sharing your experience. I am a former JW, and def. relate to your story. Would love to hear more from you if possible. Best of luck going forward.
My parents are Jehovah Witnesses too. And I'm gay. But I'm still closeted.
And I kinda stopped going to the congregation when I turned 17 because I felt like the witnesses weren't really there for you. Then my parents stopped talking to me because I stopped going. But I really didn't care. Later I moved out with my friends, went to college, and now I have a great job. I'm 20 now. :p
Just found you and your videos and your stories man, and I just wanted to add that you are amazing, and have real courage. So thankful for your sharing of your story. You are helping more than you can imagine! Peace always to you and your Ryan! :)
I want to hug you right now Seb! 😭👍👌
High,am glad to listen to yr story. Very tragic to listen to, u seem like such a fine man, and u r very beautiful at that, l know Jehovah also, and he will never abandon u, he reads our hearts u know, so keep the faith and he will keep u during these last days, don't ever turn your back on Him, he does luv u, God Bless, Fredrick
T
WOW Sebastian, you have been added to my list of favorite youtubers. Thanks for sharing your past to all of us. Please make more videos.
We are all here for you, stay strong.
You and your story is an inspiration. I got moved. I felt every bit of emotion. This is the first time I will directly message you or comment on your video or post despite being your follower for quite a while. Even before you came out, my partner adores you ever so dearly. So we somewhat stalked you thru your social media. But i totally missed this clip. Good that I get to see it. You had a difficult and different childhood compared to most of the kids like us but just the same we all love you for what you've become. As they say, all our harships will only make us stronger. Continue to be an ambassador of the LGBT Community. You're making a huge difference.
By the way, congrats to you and Ryan. Lovely to see such a happy couple.
Hoping to see you soon. My partner for 6 years would definitely like to go out with you and Ryan. :)
Shocking story. You are a courageous man. Your parents acted so terribly. Sharing your Coming Out Story to the G+ page Men Coming Out Stories. It is amazing that people can be so cruel while at the same time claiming that they are acting in the name of love.