"The story-maker proves a successful "sub-creator". he makes a secondary world which your mind can enter. Inside it, what he relates is "true": it accords with the laws of that world. You therefore believe it, while you are, as it were, inside. The moment disbelief arises, the spell is broken, the magic, or rather art, has failed". -J.R.R Tolkien
Yeah his version of re-write is way better than the original already XD. Not only his summary shows a good story telling but also already gives us more than enough character introductions and a sense of intrigue.
I'd like to point out that Anise and Aloe try to convince Sage to disregard her mother's advice about new versus old magic by telling her that the mother used to be a new magic enthusiast. The writers completely fail to recognize that this tidbit actually STRENGTHENS Mama Sage's case by explaining that she gave new magic a fair shake, only to become convinced that the old way was better.
Hey, just like people who had a " new wave phase" when young, then realize the "oldschool" way works for a reason (with some improvements that is) and embrace it, recognizing they just didnt know better. XD
It was intended to be some kind of jab at the idea that her mom fooled around being a lesbian like them when she was younger, but its extremely dumb to make the statement that "if you tried something and didnt like it, youre a hypocrite for not supporting it"
Not only that the creator failed to show or tell us why Sage's mum doesn't agree with new magic at all. Like at that point they are given a lot of possibilities of what truly is the reason on why Sage's mum prohibit Sage from learning new magic outside of traditions. Like them showing us the real reason why Sage's mum prohibit Sage to use new magic is interesting like at least give us a backstory on what Sage's mum know about New magic's secret that other mage didn't realised.
@@gaming1zanagi-1999 they can't it is a poorly thought out way of saying people are discovering themselves and now identify as ... they can't seem to think of any thing homophobes might say instead it is just I don't know no reason is needed.
@@gaming1zanagi-1999 If it was me doing it, I feel I'd say that Sage's mom had tried a big spell with new magic, but it backfired on her big time, leading her to be hurt somehow, so she wants to try to not let the same thing happen to Sage, besides keeping to traditions.
HGS team: *raises hand* Is gender a character trait? Literature Devil: No, HSG team, gender is not a character trait. HSG team: *raises hand* Literature Devil: Sexuality is not a character trait either.
Marvel: We just black-washed Kang. Me:Why? Isn’t Kang the future descendant of Reed Richards? Marvel: Um…He’s called He who remains, but he is a Kang. Me: He who remains is a completely different character, his creator was the One Above All, why did you crammed the two into one? Marvel: It will make Loki interesting because subverting expectations is always the right choice. Me: Rather than….I dunno making an interesting story with a threatening and compelling villain, instead of this goof who somehow got rid of free will and has control of the current universe, despite being human. Marvel:…..We also made Loki gender fluid. Me: That was a throwaway line, stop making a big deal over it and focus more on the writing and characterization, also stop with the comedic tone, it’s getting unprofessional like Yelena talking about her Castrated Uterus like it’s normal.
Character 'traits' are just character information, sex, age, race, faction, gender, etc. Character 'personalities' are who they actually are and why we give a shit about them as a person. Traits affect personality, but are *not* personality. *Making a trait a selling point is tokenization.* The writers didn't make people. They made commodities.
Sudden and unexpected heart attack caused by Myocarditis that showed up two weeks after the dragon got the third Pfizer jab, although that is just a coincidence of course.
I've seen lots of people claiming: "Oh, HGS isn't that bad. You weebs watch worse stuff out there." Life pro-tip: If you need to bring something worse to defend anything, deep down you know you're defending something of questionable quality.
I disagree. But I do think that the fact that there's something worse that's popular says nothing about the quality of the work, especially if the satnadrs were lower or budget sucked. I do think there are arguments where this comparison is warranted, but this is not it.
@@SuperVini310 To be fair, to an extent, the defenders of _HGS_ were right as some weebs watch some stuff that is borderline pornographic which is not found in _HGS_ . Not defending _HGS_ by the way.
@@1685Violin , the Kill La Kill anime almost reaches hentai territory, but yet it still introduces the audience the characters, world building, etc etc in a proper story structure instead of somebody just throwing random shit in their drawers and calling it a day like High Guardian Spice does, so yes High Guardian Spice is objectively terrible at everything.
@@1685Violin They aren't, because it's apples to oranges. Ecchi is not hentai, and hentai itself is a separate genre entirely from other anime and easily distinguishable. Trying to compare apples to oranges is a completely dishonest argument.
Wait, if the writing staff is 100% female, that could only mean either: a) Raye Rodriguez isn't a part of the writing staff of his own show, b) the lady misgendered Raye Rodriguez.
HGS has the potential of a blank canvas because it's completely devoid of anything. They never explained what is a "Guardian" supposed to do other than being a generic RPG murderhobo fighting bad guys.
@@DonVigaDeFierro if it didn't have potential then a video like this one wouldn't exist. There are clearly things that CAN be done with these characters. It's just that the writing team it had didn't seem to have a lot of creativity.
the saddest part? there were many very prominent female manga authors at least a decade before this cartoon network rainbow $#!7 pellet was even conceived. Rumiko Takahashi, Naoko Takeuchi, Yana Toboso, Hiromu Arakawa, CLAMP, Kazue Kato, Katsura Hoshino, Riyoko Ikeda, and many others i could blabber on about for a week straight, since they're responsible for some of the best written and most iconic anime of all time. it's like they deliberately ignored the existence of these women for the sake of pushing this hollow garbage
So I'm writing a Superhero comic. TLD pointed out two things I need to add to my first chapter that I neglected yet somehow put into the other 3 chapters as I'm writing it as a graphic novel. Gotta love this channel.
"Not every character has to be introduced in the first episode." Yes! Anime is amazing at this. Even with adding in characters that received more attention by the audience than expected, such as Hiei in Yu Yu Hakusho. They don't always add so many at once. I hate when stories try to force all their main characters into the first episode, especially with a large cast when they really don't need to. EDIT: 1k likes and a great conversation? Thanks y'all! 💖
Avengers Earth Mightiest Heroes introduced each character in separate episodes starting with Ironman before the breakout happened. Animated Justice League introduced Batman, Superman and Martian Manhunter in the first part of the first episode before the invasion began, until the other heroes like Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Flash and Hawkgirl appear in the second part, and they’re come together to fight the invasion by the Imperium.
@@LegacyComics100 , One Piece is both the greatest Shonen/Shonen Jump anime series of all time doesn’t automatically introduce to all of the Strawhat Pirates, and it shows you the characters Luffy convinces to join his Pirate Crew through his actions alone, and the very first characters we’re introduced is Koby and the Alvida Pirates, and then Zoro being his first mate; Nami the navigator, etc etc, until in the current Wano Arc we’re introduced to Jinbe the helmsman, so yes even an anime series like One Piece that SJWS shits on endlessly doesn’t automatically introduce the audience to Luffy the Captain and all of his Pirate Crew because that’d make the Pirate King journey boring and confusing, so it seems writers like Oda and Lit Dev knows how to be perfect professional writers compared to writers that worked on High Guardian Spice.
@@RTDelete , Cowboy Bebop is also a late 90’s anime/manga series that’s great too, but I was just using an example I’m more well versed in than Cowboy Bebop, but you’re right Cowboy Bebop would also be another great example on what competent writing is compared to incompetent writing like the live action Cowboy Bebop and High Guardian Spice.
Beyblade also didn't show all the main characters in one episode. Tyson and Kenny appear in episode 1, Kai appeared at the end of episode 1. Max was introduced in episode 3, and Ray made his debut in episode 6!😶
One change I'd like to offer for your rewrite is to have it so that Rosemary's mother, Lavender, isn't immediately revealed to be a bad guy (or working with/for the bad guys) in the first episode. In fact, it should be kept ambiguous if she's even still alive, anyway. It's one of the reasons the Darth Vader twist in the original Star Wars trilogy was so effective: the audience was just in much for a shock as Luke was. Blowing the twist villain load too early kind of loses its effectiveness (at least for the audience). Olive could still be answering to a higher power, but maybe keep it a mystery who they are at the moment. Still a very good rewrite.
@@AntediluvianRomance everyone expects most twists as of now. World Trigger having a weak MC that never gets friendship power is somehow a twist that people don't see coming. Him never getting a hidden power reveal is one of the few twists people haven't expected nowadays, lmao.
Well she was revealed to be *acting* as one of the bad guys' ranking officers, and did turn to their side *as far as they know....* Still too early to rule out that she's on a deep cover mission.....That Rosemary could ruin without realizing it...
I think it would be a little too on the nose to follow in the footsteps of a famous twist in an incredibly popular movie. It would be better to have Lavender seem like a fallen hero, and truly be a villain. She will set out to foil Rosemary's attempts to join the Guardians but goes soft because she is her daughter. After a few bouts of similar conflicts, she can eventually shift from stopping Rosemary, to testing her, in an attempt to relive, through her daughter, that heroic spark she lost long ago. Something like that, at least; We DO want to make a mature show, and I think this would be a relatively nuanced theme to explore.
A real twist would be if she was always a villain. That the stories are just modified, just to make her look good. That's a story I'd be down to see! Her whole legacy being a sham!
I think they could get away with herb names if they had some more actual spices mixed in with it (Anise is the only spice name I've heard). Like Salt, and Pepper might sound funny, but Saffron, Ginger and Nutmeg are all perfectly serviceable names. Also, why wouldn't you look for a reason to call someone Turmeric?
I love how you break down the problems with HGS while also offering solutions in order to make the writing at least SOMEWHAT tolerable. Most people who talk about this series just shit on it (which is fine by me because this series is garbage) but your informative yet entertaining approach to critiquing it actually helps people learn! Great work LD. This video was well worth the 2 day wait.
my point of view is always disappointment if a show turns out bad, and if I'm intrigued enough by the good elements or just have some small tiny spark of interest I wanna see if it can be salvaged as I don't like to see a story and/or its characters beign wasted.
Yeah agree, I always prefer commentary that offers solution, but doesn't mean I disliking the commentary that did not. I just prefer it more because as a _(amateur)_ writer I watches these kind of videos to learn what works and what don't.
I appreciate how people are offering solutions to hgs instead of just saying it's bad. It's kinda disappointing that the show gives you the pieces to make a good story, but doesn't use them well. Clearly at least some of the writers had good ideas, that were unfortunately not followed through on.
"we are not creating characters, we are creating people" - Hayao Miyazaki meanwhile somewhere in Crychyroll studio: we create REPRESENTATION CHECKLISTS
One thing I find interesting about Kurt's 8 Rules is #6: 'Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them-in order that the reader may see what they are made of.' Whenever I write fiction, either in my head only are for tabletop play, often times I right it that really sad things happen to characters people love and based on whether or not it makes sense to me it can either be horrible suffering they endure or it changes them in ways that usually for the worse. I always wondered if I just like causing suffering for some weird reason, but after knowing a lot more about I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream, I realize that I do this because unconsciously it makes characters that much more engaging and interesting instead of just some personal torture porn.
There's a delicate balance when subjecting characters to horrible scenarios. Audiences will become apathetic if the series becomes too bleak, and the characters' only purpose is to be tortured and be miserable for no reason and with no hope of a resolution. On the flip side, audiences won't get invested if the resolutions come across as too easy, and the characters aren't challenged.
Audiences do get invested in a hero's journey type story. You don't need horrible suffering or great pain in order to write a good engaging character, especially if it's done in a way that tells a compelling story. Black Clover for instance tells a very interesting story about a magicless character's training (not sadistic torment) to become the Wizard King and protect the people of the land. He goes through struggles, as most good stories have for the MC or MC's. Some pains and setbacks, and more dedication or changing themselves towards a new goal. But you don't need your characters to become broken or tormented to write a good story. Ignore the sadist rule, it's not necessary. But if you do want to have a story of great suffering, remember why you're writing it. Always for your characters to fight against it and overcome, or die trying. Have them develop something good in the process. Don't be a sadist, be a realist.
@@valthiriansunstrider2540 Boy I was tired when I wrote this, I didn't even spellcheck it myself. Anyway, I appreciate the comments, but just to clarify: When I updated myself on No Mouth Must Scream, I realized that I've never gone that far, nor for the sole reason of torturing the characters...it always serves a purpose to further the story in interesting ways, and sometimes it just makes more narrative sense for a character to change in a more negative way in the face of certain events. For an example, in a modern day super hero setting, a group I had played as anti heroes, and they saved kids that were experimented on before the heroes of the world could take action. One of those kids is an adorable and well-behaved 4-5 -year-old girl who is very kind and just wants to help people. However, the results of her experiment gifted her with rapidly increasing intelligence without the maturity of being proper raised to go with it, and she was living in a house full of people who were extremely morally grey and did a lot of in the shadows work. When one of the players killed another player who was the one that saved her and became the father figure she never had before, I did research and it turns out she was primed for becoming a sociopath. Since no one else that was an adult invested in her enough beyond what they thought was necessary and her only mother figure takes her own life due to the trauma and effects of her own experience being experimented on, she slowly sacrifices everything she cares about in pursuit of revenge. By the time she reaches ten, she has left the group and become a threat to them via her superhuman intelligence and an acquired superpower. She's nothing like she was, transformed into what she keeps trying to destroy via revenge on those who hurt her, and yet her pain only gets worse. She has a final confrontation in which, by an unintended reaction, she is fatally wounded by the one person who never gave up on her: the boy she grew up with both in the orphanage and after they were rescued, who shared her trauma of experimentation, of which she was once inseparable from, for which she was always there for, and for whom she had developed feelings for. In her dying moments, and through the boy's words, she realizes that she tricked herself into believing she was always a horrible monster. She realizes that her path took her away from everything she wanted, because she chose to withdraw and give in to her pain instead of trying to open up and be try to be free of it. Even so, the pain and hurt she felt seems to flee from her in her finals moments and she dies perhaps not complete or happy, but at least in peace. It may seem dark and horrible to write that to happen to a character, but to me it just makes sense. All the players learn from this that it was their lack of being adults capable of giving young children what they need that lead to this result, which develops them. It also develops all the other children who used to be her friends who strayed from her as they grew older, realizing that any one of them could have potentially stopped this if they had been better friends to her. The boy who never gave up on her experiences growth through loss, learns about her feelings for him which leads him through his loss and through intense soul searching, dedicates himself to a major cause...something his loss helps form him into a man who wouldn't have been capable otherwise.
Devil does to HGS what Celtic Phoenix does to RWBY. Nothing makes me happier seeing someone turn trash into something salvageable. It reassures me that there really is no such a thing as a “bad idea” only bad executions.
Precisely. Ideas are cheap to come by. I guarantee that 80% of this comment section has 1 or 2 actually brilliant pitches, but the Devil is in the details...
@@DonVigaDeFierro For real mate, I've had 2 or 3 ideas I thought were utterly brilliant, to the point I actually tried writing one of them out, spent a ton of time worldbuilding, before eventually realizing there was no reason for anyone but me to actually want to explore it. drafting a story is fairly easy. Actually writing one is a whole different beast, maybe some day I'll give it another shot. But not anytime soon.
Would you all stop saying RWBY is the worst thing ever!! It's really not all that bad and half the internet saying is more after two whole decades or less everyone being a broken record at this point. Come on people. It's not the worst thing ever made when compared to nonsense like High Guardian Spice. And I really wish everyone would stop treating it (Along with stuff I like like Mr. Enter and Nickelback) like it's the equivalent of Lord Voldemort. With everyone going mad everytime this series is brought up. If anything. The hate for RWBY (Which I don't even understand) is getting old very quickly (Am I the only who still loves it).
@@dylansmith5206 Ever heard of Gundam SEED? I know your feel, and because I know I can asure you: They wont stop, either you accept it and live with that or keep what you are doing on a loop; your choice. Then again try to listen to them, and give them a point where it actually matters, who knows it might help you understand more about what you like. Be it why you like it and why others dont, why It works in some areas and not in others. Given you are here, Im sure you do that already, and if not, you are still in a good road... With some luck and open mind.
@@freedomkirax1020a Never seen Gundam Seed once in my life. Since I have no interest in The Mecha Anime Genre. Is that supposed to be a quote from that show you just asked me about?
I'm an artist, also attempting at writing, but throughout 20 years, I've been observing cartoons and anime, how the characters act, their actions, designs, personalities etc, so I could get a good idea on what the majority of people would like while still making my own ideas. I'm Latina and a woman, I'd be kicked out if I was working with those other women, due to my ideas and how I like drawing busty female characters lmao And yes, your story sounds a lot better, it flows and gets up hooked on the first episode
Having a diverse cast of characters and body types is fun. Characters with big or small busts, super muscular characters that tower over people, short and stout characters, lanky string bean characters.
"Anise makes tea and cookies for them, while Aloe makes pancakes." Then they left. That short sentence from the wikipedia summary did sums up the whole show.
If you do another of these for episode two, I feel like a major point should be giving some actual weight to the “old magic versus new magic” scene. I could see it actually being narratively important it is presented in a way like, “old magic is indeed powerful, and can have much wider reaching effects in the moment it’s cast, but there is an inherent flaw in a high guardian relying primarily on hold magic. It takes time. A high guardian’s primary job is to protect those who cannot protect themselves, and every moment spent preparing old magic to be cast is another moment where an innocent is in danger, or worse. That is why I will only be teaching you new magic, but if you wish to study old magic feel free to do so on your own time. Just keep it out of my classroom.” A much better reason than “new magic is just better”; gives potential for an arc in which tries new magic but finds it less practical for due to her familiarity with old magic; and can set up a “prove the professor wrong” kind of ongoing theme for Sage.
Or setup a scenario where you need to use a combination of Old and New Magic to solve a problem that one cannot do without the other. Kind of like the concept of the Tao. But you see, that would require some thought and that is something a room full of female writing staff seem to be incapable of doing.
agreed, the harsh and uncompromising dismissal would raise questions as to what the exchange is, and the only information presented is Old Magic is slow and thats it
Or you could leave it as it is and use that to explore on how the "quick and easy" solution slowly corrupts those who seek it. Learning old magic isn't just about learning spells and rituals, old magic also teaches discipline and work ethic, the skipping of which has devastating consequences.
@@MGerdtell very true, or based on several videos on the series. New Magic seems to be more "user effecient" but in doing so it creates a destructive by-product that changes or destroys the local flora and fauna. like some kind of run-off or alchemical pollutant that the acts and rituals of old magic do not create because the caster effectively processes the raw magic to prevent such an eventuality from happening
there's a lot of directions you could take this that isn't 'Sage abandons her beliefs and jsut goes with the popular trend of new magic' like hell actually have a difference between the two whch BOTH have flaws and strengths!
I feel that broken locket thing could have been resolved way better, like; -why not have Sage surprise Rosemary at the end of the episode or in a later one with a picture frame. -why not have Rosemary take the two pieces and poorly tie them to a piece of string-this could create a more interesting introduction to Parsley-her perhaps seeing the broken locket at school and approaching Rose about it -Why not take the two pieces and make them into earrings-it sounds weird but hear me out- it would add more personality to Rose’s design as well as be subtle foreshadowing to her mother’s betrayal and split from her family There are also way more better ways this could’ve been done but they just had to go with the most awkward and obvious option
Personally I would’ve used the teachers’ preferences on New Magic as a way to set up the academy as the true villains. Maybe the people in the academy want others to rely on New Magic because they have the power to disable it. They could also be the ones behind The Rot (a bioweapon maybe?) that can supposedly only be beaten with New Magic. Olive could be part of an organization rebelling against the oppressive system along with Rosemary’s mom who used to be a peon that killed innocent Old Magic healers. Then Rosemary could learn to think critically about her heroes and know the truth about personal heroism.
I have a feeling that would hit too close to home for the creators. That is a fantastic idea. Would it be that the teachers are all in on it, or someone with administrative power manipulating the curriculum? Or maybe even a government official forcing that type of education?
I am sure the writers would be against it because the ones trying and some succeeding at changing the school and corporation systems to their advantage are the progressives.
@@jamess.8279 possibly those three ladies that run the school? Or maybe some overarching villain. Maybe make the teachers have arcs about breaking away from their oppressive system? Possibly have one of the teachers kill a student for knowing too much then wipe Rosemary’s mind. Eventually she would find out and get revenge on the teacher in some brutal fashion and then realize what she’s done.
I mean hell the academy straight up has a teacher outright trying to MURDER the students, why the fuck NOT make them the bad guys? the triumvirate can also be bad guys BAD GUYS FOR EVERYONE
That could be good but I feel like that would need multiple seasons to do properly. It would be a great twist but the audience would need to have become accustomed to the teachers and the academy. The idea of the magic being disabled would also be a great plot point and story arc. I imagine it would have a bit of a rescue arc in it, to get Sage back (though the idea of Sage turning to the dark side because she's become indoctrinated to new magic is quite compelling imo), and also would be a great way to redeem Lavender, as Rosemary has to get used to her mother, who has probably had drastic changes, in what is essentially a semi-apocalypse. Still, it wouldn't feel like a real reveal until a couple seasons in. Hints would be dropped throughout the first couple of seasons but if it's done too quickly it's hard to care about the twist.
If the writer has any talent, they can make new Magic is literally “oil” in that world. The quickness and efficiency would cause damage to the nature. Boom! Instant plot point and the lefty crowd would love it.
The "New Magic" Is what makes the delusional degeneracy of the SJWs possible like denying your biological sex and trying to forcibly changing It while poisoning the planet and yourself.
Sounds like male magic in wheel of time. The source of male magic got tainted by the dark one in the past in retaliation while being sealed, and as a result men who use magic get tainted little by little each time they tap into it and eventually they go insane. And any magic cast with it becomes tainted and eventually degrades and corrupts in some way. Its described as like a layer of oil on top of the water in the well, each time you scoop up some of the water (male magic) you can't help but get some of the oil as well.
@@MadGas_111 oh my bad i wriited "Herb" when i wanted to wriite "Spice" I cant think about a Spice name that could be used as a human name that what i meant i sorry
When a possible conflict in the first episode was mentioned (to replace the boring slog we got), I started thinking up another idea. Granted, I like the idea presented in the video better, I just want to share the scenario that wormed its way into my head. Because Rosemary and Sage's village is pretty much in the middle of nowhere, they are not financially well-off. So they have to use their money to pay for a wagon ride into a nearby merchant town where there is a train station that can take them all the way to Lyngarth (but won't have the bus or rising elevator, and the only reason they need the wagon is that the village is nowhere near the train station, but the traders on the wagons go out from the merchant town to trade with all nearby villages, Pebble included. So the girls get a ride on one of the trade wagons). However, when they get to the train station, they don't have enough money to purchase tickets to Lyngarth (which turns out to be a lot more expensive than the girls originally thought, since it is such a major hub of activity in this world). My original thought of what could be the conflict (albeit it is kinda basic) comes into play here: the greedy ticket salesman suggests that maybe Rosemary could give her the fancy sword she has in lieu of payment, since it'd fetch a pretty penny on the market (approximately at least double or triple the money he would have made if they'd just bought the tickets). Obviously Rosemary is aghast at the offer, given that the sword is from her mother, so she turns him down, and they get subsequently turned away from the station. Rosemary and Sage end up having to ask around town for help finding anything valuable that will satisfy the greedy ticket salesman, but the only possible lead that comes up is a nearby crystal mine known for having magical crystals that can be crafted into Terraspheres (which happens to be why the town was built here in the first place) that has since been occupied by a dangerous beast. There is a bounty posted for slaying the monster, and the reward money plus the idea of giving the ticket salesman some Terrasphere crystals to cover the ticket costs causes Rosemary to rush off to the mine, with Sage trailing behind. The monster (don't really know what it would be atm) easily drives Rosemary and Sage into a corner, but Sage notices that one of the nearby crystals is slightly loose. So maybe Rosemary distracts the monster while Sage uses Old Magic to get the earth to disgorge the crystal. It is then that Sage realizes something they can do to kill the monster, so she has Rosemary lure it over the loose crystal, and just when it is in position, she uses Old Magic to shoot the raw Terrasphere crystal upward into the soft underbelly of the monster straight into its heart. But the lodging of the crystal in the heart causes a weird purple substance to spread rapidly throughout its veins - Rot. And while the monster dies, and they're able to get some more raw Terrasphere crystals to placate the ticket salesman along with the extra spending money from the bounty, Sage is left visibly disturbed by the whole ordeal. That crystal that caused the Rot to spread was the same crystal used in Terrasphere crafting, and Terraspheres are required for the casting of New Magic. So now Sage is aware that her parents forbade her from using New Magic for a damn good reason.
Also a good idea. I'd only make the detail about Sage making the conection between what happened to the dragon and the Rot happen in a later episode. This could, however, play into her hesitance to pick up new magic at school.
I don't like idea of that Rosemary and Sage beat monster in a first episode.It's just make them special.And this two girls go into academy for fighting monsters,but they alredy beat one,like what sense of it?And how teachers and students would react on this information?They would be praised by everyone?Sage and Rosemary would come up as Mary Sue's.But if not,everyone other in academy would look like blind,deaf idiots.I think better will be throw this two into the academy already in first episode and introduce Thyme and Amaryllis as they antagonistic figures and future members of PBGP team (or even love interests).Yep I replace Parsley with Amaryllis.
High Guardian Spice is one of those shows that is so thoroughly bad that even small changes would be significant improvements. One such example from a novice in the field of writing: On the Journey to Lyngarth, when the girls get to the double decker cart (?) and present their tickets, this time 'round the conductor merely mentions the tickets not giving them assigned seats in passing and is about to let them onto the cart... until Rosemary brags about them being future Guardians who do not need seats; the conductor, annoyed by Rosemary's attitude and disrespect, has them thrown on top with the luggage, making that portion of the ride rather uncomfortable. And later on, when they are boarding the train, Rose & Sage try to cut the line to get onto the train sooner... but are caught, and have to stay in a non-passenger car -- after either being held until the end of the line, or simply thrown in there -- thus getting barely any rest on the long ride to Lyngarth. Extremely minor tweaks, but in these tweaks we have established Rosemary as having a consistent flaw of being a bit brash and reckless, and that this behavior will have consequences for her. Of course, in this case the consequences are relatively minor; the cart and train still took them to their destinations, just a bit less conveniently. But we can increase the stakes in later episodes, to the point that Rosemary is more or less forced to change for the better. But anyway, Beelzebook's rewrite is a significant step up. Well done, sir.
Also, if the bus was treated seperately as a civilian double decker, the bus tickets could turn out to be fake if they were bought instead of supplied by the school.A small bit of a lesson on being careful with Scams. Half off Tickets. They're just given the option to ride on the top in apology...sadly it's more like a punishment with how umcomftrable it is. Rosemary: Okay...maaaaybe you and Chicory were right about that salesmen... Sage: I told you so.. *Puffs out chest in vindication.*
It could also set-up Sage's blow up at Rosemary during the gorgon raid or however everyone became a statue. Showing us that Sage is basically dragged around by Rosemary and has to deal the consequences of someone elses actions
Fun fact: the add revenue you'll earn from this video is far less than what the authors of the show were payed. So technically, literally everybody would have been better off if they had hired you instead.
One thing I'm sincerely grateful for the existence of High Guardian Spice is it became a free-for-all sandbox for aspiring artists, writers, voice overs and animators to rehash and redesign. It's a bit of a.... confidence boost. I'm more of a background artist and animator so I'm more critical of the character staging, cinematography and designs. In all honesty there are some good ideas here and there such as "The Rules of Being A Guardian #3: A Weapon Inherited Is Not Inherently Suited." and I wish there was an expansion on the "Rules Of Being A Guardian" being said here and there, but the writers are so obsessed with lesbianism that they have to force the entire story on that path and that annoys me. - Do the characters have family names/ surnames? I was too hot with the skip button and hearing impaired to catch anything @@ - As a woman who had spent most of my childhood and adulthood in a gender exclusive school, I hate the feminist rhetoric of "women are innocent and pure with their feelings" with a passion. Like.... no, ma'am. I've seen women at their pettiest. They can hold grudges from kindergarten to senior highschool, push each other to suicide, etc. - I wanted to see a male character in a positive light so badly that I retreated to watching Sanrio Danshi (basically an anime about normal teenage boys who just like the sanrio mascots). And I hate the fact that Snapdragon is intended to be groomed as a trans-woman. Like.... wtf.
I've never really watched anime (Like watching things get sh*t on), but you'd think the people who work for the anime company would know what a god damn femboy was. I mean, it would've worked better than just saying "You don't a lotta boy stuff, but do like a lotta girl stuff? Good for you, you should become a girl now"
You know that in the next scene from transition magic he says to Snapdragon he can chose whatever path thinks it's alright (can't believe I'm defending the show)
@@Ramsey276one It’s a Japanese writing structure, as Literature Devil explained in the video. He’s throwing shade at HGS for claiming to be a Western “anime”, by rewriting its first episode in an anime structure.
Y'all remember when Rosemary nearly died to the point of becoming delusional from bloodloss and that had absolutely 0 impact on her character and had absolutely 0 consequence moving forward? Remember how Sage dropped a giant monster on Rosemary that nearly lead to Rosemary dying and THAT had absolutely 0 impact on HER character and had absolutely 0 consequence moving forward?
I agree High Guardian Spice is like one of those "Mature in name only" kinds of stories(I.E. 12-ounce mouse, Archer, Super Jail, Mr. Pickles, BrickleBerry, ATHF Family Guy, South Park, Rick, and Morty, and its imitators) with some swearing and naughty stuff here and there to try to live up to the "mature" label. Honestly, Literature Devil is the kind of writer they need but not the one they deserve
@@SergioLeonardoCornejo I agree if I can name a few cartoons that actually lived up to the mature rating would be Morel Orel, Primal and Bojack Horsemen. If only other adult cartoon creators realize that their work has the potential to be more than just another generic south park/family guy clone.
one interesting way to fix the new magic , is to allow it to be more practical, quicker and easier, anyone can just pick it up and use it like a master, *but* contains a price, a hefty cost that may seem light at first, but shows itself in the future to be too much, perhaps it comes from an outside source, that slowly corrodes you, perhaps it changes you without your notice into something you are not, something that will make you work for it, instead of have it work for you.
@@Reddotzebra They could expand that view by making it rot the natural magic of the world, an the rot could create monsters of its own or corrupt the ones that exist, heck it can even turn pople into rot abominations, now that would be conflict, i vote for the lesbians.
Final Fantasy 8 Junctioning Paramagic/Guardian Force It's not magic, just learn to Junction and Draw magic from a font/monster that don't kill you O_0 and you have spells! Or a cool Summon to protect you! BUT YOU LOSE YOUR MEMORIES
Distilling down why this show doesn't work and the components needed in order to make a functional show is something you've always been good at Litdev. What really stuck to me was at the end with the quote from Dr. Jordan Peterson "There is nothing uglier then an old infant." I would add to that, that an "old infant" can't produce anything worth while either. Great work as usual. :)
Very educational. I wish to become a better writer, and am finding the self-confidence necessary to begin. However watching these videos also helps keep the pride in check, its humbling... it is also very good to have another reference that isn't The Last Jedi.
A note on Rosemary as a design: Pulling from the plant would've made for a better visual. The plant has almost needle-like leaves in a nice shade of green. Though trope-y, that could've been used for the hair. And if the authors still wanted a different bright color, the plant also has small purple flowers.
I think they were going more for the rose half of the name. Here hair buns look like rose flowers. They don't seem to be able to commit to the spice theme. Sage is blue-ish and parsley can have yellow flowers so that seems so influence the characters color palate. I guess Tyme being brown kinda matches the dried spice? Though, I think thyme is more a green to greenish-brown? Doesn't really track with the rest of the theme. Lavender doesn't have any lavender to her that I can see. Her evil cloak is a reddish purple so, I guess, close enough?
@@arichutfles9550 they can’t commit to it because they already did it wrong like I don’t know much about plants but isn’t rosemary more of a herb then a spice?
Interestingly, I like to compare High Guardian Spice with an actual good anime like Hunter x Hunter because Hunter x Hunter has a similar plot as High Guardian Spice, but done right. Some similarities that I can think of that they both have is that the concept of Guardian and Hunter is pretty similar, Gon and Rosemary are training to become what they want to become so they can search for their lost parent, then there is also one of the episodes of HGS testing students in a certain type of test to see if they are worthy. Of course, from what I saw of both shows, the reason why Hunter x Hunter works while High Guardian Spice doesn’t are for the obvious reasons like the occupation of Hunter has been defined while Guardian didn’t. In the beginning of Hunter x Hunter, Gon tried to get his aunt to register him into the Hunter exam by proving to her he is capable and does it, while Rosemary was already accepted in the beginning. Then comparing the Hunters exam with Disorientation day, I think what makes the Hunters exam work is that it tries to test its candidates by putting them in grueling tests to measure the endurance of the students, while in High Guardian Spice, one of the teachers literally tries to kill her own students by feeding them poison and they must find a cure for it. Although the Hunters exam can kill the candidates, I think part of the reason why it works is that the exam starts off with a series of tests that are so difficult that anyone who isn’t prepared for being a hunter would give up. I’m sure there are others and I would like to hear what others have got to say. On the side note, I saw this interesting video in which someone made an edit in which they replaced the original theme song in the opening with Hunter x Hunter’s opening “Departure” and the song somehow fits the opening more than the theme song
What makes the comparison even more interesting is that Hunter x Hunter also has a level of representation for 'genderqueer' characters without making it the only facet of their personalities.
(in my opinion) the best animated series this year (Arcane) had diverse characters, yet poeple talk about the story, art and music. Nobody talks about the diversity. Arcane is aproved by critics and almost everybody who has seen it It almost seems like… the diversity isnt the thing that makes story good
Diversity is also not a thing you can talk about. It goes as deep as "Hey, did you know character X is [Trait]?" "Okay, cool." And that's really it. Everyone already knows how sexualities work for example. It does not make a character unique and therefore, does not make the show unique. Plot progression is something you can talk about. It does make the show unique. It forms the characters, makes their experiences unique and thus, makes them unique as well.
in a way though diversity DOES make stories better. Characters of different pasts and cultures each have something different to offer. If every character was the same and looked the same, stories would be incredibly boring.
@@icarue993 They may not be human but they have Personhood, and if they have the capacities given to them they should damn well be staffed by sapient, if not entirely rational, people
And at least The Animation is decent and isn't butt ugly looking like so many other poorly animated shows like Hammerman or garbage fire films like Where The Dead Go To Die or Anything made by Video Brenquelto. I'll give it that at least.
Personal thoughts: It seems at the end of this quest for diversity and representation the result were simply uncanny Caricatures that mimic and ape human behavior. Well that's not to say all characters are not that but in this case it's a lot more obvious. Represention as I understand is aimed to create empthy, this show is hilarious disservice to that end. The only saving grace would have been to make it a kid's show, but even then Dora would still be leauges more "Representative" and enjoyable for the audience.
Moments like this is where I highlight how the entertainment industry these days simply doesn't look at precedent. AAA games release broken for years and people play them. Steven Universe does well then 3 shows do terribly.
I have my own theory. Woke-plague is just one symptom of a cultural and media crisis. In short, the creators have no ideas, so they change the appearance, but not the substance. Therefore, the stories resemble fairy tales or films that were released half a century ago, only with a deliberately modern hero. A black trans woman will cause resentment and controversy among viewers and in the media, and as long as people discuss his identity, they will not notice how simple and boring the story is.
@@ahoramazda6864 - The existence of a black trans-woman isn't going to cause "resentment and controversy" amongst any viewers that actually matter. Because if someone with any emotional maturity doesn't like her, they'll just shrug their shoulders and acknowledge that the story just isn't for them. All that's left after that are autists. The only part that matters is the execution of such a character. Which is something that HGS fails at demonstrably, to the point that gay and trans reviewers have resoundingly ripped it a new asshole.
@@CheshireCad, >The existence of a black trans-woman isn't going to cause "resentment and controversy" amongst any viewers that actually matter. Are you implying that the woke crowd matters? Because as soon as such viewers will calmly relate to such a BS. >Because if someone with any emotional maturity doesn't like her, they'll just shrug their shoulders and acknowledge that the story just isn't for them But that's not how it works. Sexual minorities, instead of sticking to genres for their own kind, are taking over major franchises with the approval of leftist directors. >The only part that matters is the execution of such a character As history and real life show, deviants rarely become the main characters. An outsider is always an outsider because, imagine, sometimes people match the meaning of words. A normal person just won't be able to suspend disbelief with such character.
@@ahoramazda6864 - Oh dear, I didn't realize I was violating your safe-space by mentioning that minorities exist. Next time, I'll be more respectful of your preferred lack of pronouns, and place a trigger-warning at the beginning of my comment.
I spend about 15 years working on my webcomic. I was an amateur, and made plenty of horrible mistakes, but I've learned from them. This isn't to say I'm great or even good right now. I'm better than I was back then. It feels headscratching to see people write stories and create real animated shows that are worse than my first comics in high-school, but even see them deflect all criticism as hatred towards them. ... I'm not above criticism. I improved a lot in the time that I was ironing out the flaws of my comic. My comic ends its run with just a few people reading it, but they're happy, and they're glad they were there for the journey. Meanwhile "High Guardian Spice" will fade away, and even its supposed current fans will at best only remember "fighting the haters" rather than the actual show...
Your re-write reminded me of the first episode of the Little Witch Academia series (not the movies). LWA is pretty much HGS but actually a good anime. It even has some of the themes you mentioned, old magic vs new magic.
Kind of a false dichotomy to be honest but I agree with the general spirit, something made as a personal power fantasy and or prosthelytizing and little else will usually suck.
Art is technically whatever you want. But if you make it too personal and refuse to accomodate even a little when you show it to others, you can't expect them to understand it and connect with it (NARRATIVE*) Someone mentioned there's hidden depht in the Caraway/Rosemary scene that makes it a bit endearing, given the creator's own story. But unless you *really* know about him and his life, all that is lost. No context, no build up, no hint to catch a reference, it makes the scene feel out of place and the audience feel like outsiders. And so we are only left with the confusion, akwardness, and pain of going through a badly written scene with odd dialogue. Yes, that was very clever of him, but we don't get it, and it's not our fault because they didn't even try to explain it. Bad writers, bad.
"...A narrative nightmare that I personally found delight in. Why? Because I can now pull examples from something besides Last Jedi when referring to nightmare scenario writing decisions." Brutal. Devistating. Hilarious.
I am glad that I didn’t waste the labor of watching the garbage heap that is HGS. As soon as I had heard that one line about old magic vs. new magic, in my head, every single one of my mage characters would have wanted to slap Sage on the mouth. (And me now thinking that, I’m telling myself now that I should write my own anime.) But yeah, it’s really hard to say if this could be fixed. I like your synopsis on HGS and what could’ve been done and your version is INFINITELY better. I would put money on Literature Devil’s version of HGS than what actually happened.
Same. The old vs new magic is basically their way of saying Liberalism better than Conservativism, despite the fact that is not what Liberalism is about. It would have made more sense if the two magic schools were different but also still needed each other in some fashion or you shouldn't demonize the one you don't study but should still learn both methods, especially if you plan on making counterspells to the opposing school.
I've got mages and clerics and fighters alike who'd give her detention with extra homework. Absolutely baffling anyone thought this was passable, let alone a zinger.
@@littlebabyman8494 Because you don’t bash the old just because the new is “just better.” I would imagine from a more competent writer, the dilemma between old and new magic would be an interesting idea to explore, showing the clash of the two magics, why the new is better than the old, and what the flaws of the two each are and how they compliment each other would work. How Sage can just diss the ways of how her parents fundamentally learned mage and probably how she was taught; it comes off as just appealing to novelty fallacies at work- just because something is new, doesn’t mean it’s better. And getting a feel for how the writers of the show is handling progression, I sincerely doubt that any sort of comeuppance or humility will come of Sage’s throwaway line.
13:51 a good example would be… Probably the original Cowboy Bebop, One Piece, MHA, and many others. We don’t always meet the whole cast from the first episode, chapter, volume, etc.,. That happens over the course of the ongoing story for most anime and manga. I’m pretty sure I’ll get snickered at for being captain obvious but, for newcomers on this channel, it’s probably helpful
When looking at character introduction, Persona 5 actually does good with this. We’re introduced to the main 4 we need to complete a party (Wildcard, Bruiser, Healer, and Glass Cannon/debuffer) and then get new characters for each major dungeon, sometimes not even that. And the way we get those characters for the most part is pretty organic from a writing standpoint.
I think it can be fixed, with better written episodes and characters... And different designs, plot, a better title and if it's an entirely different show about literally something else...
What if the reason for rosemary waving her sword around like the idiot she is; rose got accepted in the school because her mother was highly respected by them, being the daughter of lavender, they thought that rosemary will have potential, so even when she fails the entrance exam she passes regardless, SO her main conflict will be everyone in the school comparing herself to her mother and saying how she's supposed to be so much better but instead she's a failure. Because of this, rosemary will be sad at first, questioning herself about her purpose, if she's just a shadow to her mother's image, but she'll be motivated and strive to prove them wrong, to become a better guardian that could be on par, or better than her mother. Just a thought though
I've commented on several videos about what I think the series big issue is, and it comes down t the purpose of the words material. The words material was a comic strip created by Raye Rodregiaz to vent thier emotional frustrations with being transgender, at it's core it's not a vehicle for story telling with emotional expression but fr emotional expression that happens to have a vague story. It is at the core about telling not showing. This is best exemplified by Professor Caroway, a character who looks like Raye Rodregiaz, is voiced by Raye Rodregiaz and is transgender like Raye Rodregiaz. In espisode 3 Rose damaging her sword serves only as excuse to allow Caroway to explain transgenderism in manner you might explain to a child, it's there so the Audience can be spoken to like they are children who need educate in simps terms what transgender is. Also find it interesting how Rodregiaz is a trans-man and a weird of the show yet that first trailer says the writers are 100% female, not ackowlageing Rodregiaz's trans identity. In the end the show is amature production set in a generic fantasy world that is concerned more with emotional validation and surface level represention.
So not only is there a self insert which is an automatic negative (possible to pull off; just automatically making things harder to pull off), it's also based on essentially someone's first draft of blasting feelings onto paper.
@@kazikek2674 Yes pretty much. A lot and I mean a LOT of Web comics are started as a way for the author to work though personal feelings, or create a version of some media they like based around a self insert. As a result the plot is the secondary focus, now take a series were plot is second to the writer's personal issues, give it to mostly amateurs writers who have lots of personal politics they want to cover and good story becomes 3rd priority. This show is the result of politics first story telling. Of telling your audience what to feel instead of letting them feel in by the context of the story events.
@Hecantonchire s every one has biases, Everyone. The makers of this show have lots of biases and use it in thier story. The show wears it's biases on it's sleeve and that damages the story. Ramming your politics into a show with out any subtlety makes for a crummy show that fails at it's own message.
Ouch my writing on a tablet needs work. Autocorrect changes words I mistype into completely different ones I often forget to fix, cause you know it corrects it into a real word, but not nessicarily the one I wanted.
WHOOO! I've been WAITING for The Literature Devil to cover this! I personally think High Guardian Spice can be fixed with actual, passionate, and competent writers. But, I seriously can't wait for LD's opinion and explanations!
Who needs a story when you have arbitrary representation? Who needs good writers when you can feel good about the demographics of the writers? Who needs character development and conflict when you have characters who don't need to grow? The audience needs that, for a reason to watch it. This "anime" is not written to be sold, it was written for the writers to watch it over and over, congratulating themselves about how they've finally done something for once in their lives.
I am reading a lot of webnovels, and characters that don't need to grow are quite common there. Still, that doesn't remove the conflict, it just describes the solution in higher detail instead to keep readers interested.
@@nati0598 Even in media with an OP-from-day-1 protagonist, "growth" can be more about them learning to use that power to achieve their goals in better ways, to overcome personal issues and flaws (being able to slaughter every living being on the world you inhabit doesn't make it easier to make a friend), or even just finding something that they *want* to protect with all their OPness
Turns a bit back towards fitting when, as pointed out by many, the majority of the characters aren't even named after spices, but herbs and other plants. There's so little spice, in the names, in the characters themselves, and in the story.
I found your channel through Dannphan's High Guardian Spice episode one review and this is my first video I've seen from you, but I've gotta say that I really like your content! I'm an aspiring comic book artist/writer so videos like these help immensely to improve my own storytelling. I'll be sure to watch the rest of your content, keep up the amazing work!
@@LiteratureDevil I may not like your tone or some of the finer points but these are damn well made arguments and my second most used source videos (first being Overly Sarcastic Productions) for online arguments. I have to separate some of my points from yours but that's a small price to pay for having such well made analysis. Good job.
Old magic is bad because it require work ethic, time, dedication, learning, and responsibility. New magic is good because you just do it, and any thing you want happens with out learning, and responsibility.
I feel like you are kind of... using emotions to pitch your argument. Old magic is old magic, new magic is new magic. True, old magic requires dedication, time and learning. But does that make it better? If I wanted to fart Bohemian Rapsody I would also need dedication and training. Does that make it worthwhile? You can say new magic is easy, lazy. And you can also say new magic is efficient and quick. I don't want to offend you, but that argument seemed like an old person yelling "Kids have it easy these days. Back in my day, we had to write with coal not these fancy pencils!" I think acknowledging that both types of magic have their use and people who use magic may have their own preference is important.
you know what makes it even WORSE... new magic seems to be the cause of what destroying the planet/environment, that could have been a great plot hook, but this would put the writers in a very tight spot as they set themselves to run against their own ideology, given this yea probably there was one good writer around, but god sidelines and buried under the ones wanting to do fanfics ships and propaganda
A character's name can tell you so many things: one that sounds familiar, one that sounds foreign and cloaked in mystery, names with hidden meanings locked away by the barriers of language, symbology or subtle clues that only the most diligent fans will find out. If almost all the characters are named like flowers, spices and food items that tells you a lot about the depth of the story.
As hard as HGS sucks, the part about themed naming is a bit unfair. There's this Chinese classical novel called Flowers in the Mirror, whose main plot surrounds a mythical event during Wu Zetian's reign. Due to the Empress' caprice, a group of flower fairies acted rashly to please her, and thus received heavenly punishment to live as mortal girls. As a result, the twelve girls presented in the novel (scattered across a myriad of "barbarian" cultures that the protag visited throughout his voyage) all had flower-based names. It's one of my all-time favorites despite being relatively obscure in the anglosphere compared to Romance of the Three Kingdoms and the alike.
@@user-gb7ji6xy5d I think it still counts as having a name related to the setting they're in. Flower fairies having names of flowers follows up well. But in High Guardian Spice there's no coherent reason why.
I would rewrite Aster to be more of a competitive friend (a friendly rival) towards Rosemary instead of a sexist. They both could've competed with each other. For example, who could be the first warrior to take down a monster faster, in which both of them would fail in their own ways, some pretty funny and wholesome stuff we could see between the 2 characters.
@@LiteratureDevil Dang it. Lol. Off to look at Spice and Herb lists then. Curious, can I have permission to use some of the train scene in my rewrite and credit your channel? It may take me a while to even get up to that scene, since I'm focusing on the beginning of HGS, trying o write out a Day of a type of entrance exam or placement test, with some early interaction between the Sage and Rosemary with Caroway and a small dev Arc for Sage.
Every time he does something like this, somewhere around halfway through it I will think to myself: "this actually sounds really good, I'll have to check this out." ... Then a couple seconds later I remember that I will never see this good I am hearing because he is fixing what is trash. And I am crushed by the realization. But I will still enjoy the story that the Devil is telling. Keep up the great work, my good sir! Can't wait for Doctor Alpha!
For starters they should get rid of any ideas that seem implausibly dumb like having a bedroom that can only be unlocked if both spouses hold hands or Rosemary chasing a chipmunk. I would probably start it with it being stated that Rose and Sage are the daughters of two well known guardians and as such it’s expected that they will follow in their mothers’ footsteps. Rose is enthusiastic as she wants to find her mother, who has disappeared, while Sage is more uncertain due to conflict between herself and her mother over Sage recently being caught trying to use new magic. The two ride the train for a while but get off at a nearby town to get lunch but while they’re eating Rose’s locket gets stolen by the Trixxie and the two pursue it back to its nest. But when they move to retrieve the locket Thyme stops them, explaining that the Trixxie is an endangered species and as an apprentice ranger it’s her duty to protect it, this would cause a small battle between Rose, who wants the locket back and Thyme, who wants to protect the bird, while Sage tries to sketch out an array for a retrieval spell to get the locket back. While this is happening the locket would break. Rose would be angry at Thyme for stopping her, but Thyme would downplay the locket’s importance saying it’s just costume jewelry. Later when the girls reboard the train to continue their journey Rose would be angry that Thyme is getting onboard, showing that she also has been accepted as a guardian candidate and accuse her of not being worthy because she wasn’t willing to help someone in distress, but Thyme would say the birds are also part of the world and as such it’s her duty to protect them too. Rose would go off to sulk, looking at her broken locket and remembering her mother training her, meanwhile Sage would approach Thyme and explain that Rose’s mother had disappeared and that the locket was a keepsake from her. Thyme would still be angry, but in a way that makes it clear she now understands and accepts Rose’s feelings.
semi related but wait the door opens only when they BOTH hold hands?? what if I wanna sleep and my hubby/wifey wanna go out with the boys then what do I do?? sleep on the couch when it would've been so much easier to have a normal bedroom.
I have a very imaginative mind and sometimes my mind goes off daydreaming. When you were telling the rewrite episode I was so focused that I forgot that you're talking about HGS... Bruh.
Yes please! Make this the actual pilot of the show. Not only can it work with the later episodes already created, but I also love the idea of a best friend becoming a potential enemy when a connection is established with the villains and they feel the need to become stronger by any means necessary. I really hope you help fix other episodes of the show since it really does need it.
It’s videos like this that prove to me that even the worst possible stories (well, most of them) have at least some good ideas in them. However, it also proves to me that good ideas don’t make a story. It’s all about execution. A story with old ideas but flawless execution will always be better than a thought-provoking excuse for good writing.
Good catch on the difference between adulthood and maturity. Facing hardship creates character and eventually maturity as we understand it. Men and society at large already act to shield women from hardship. So when you take the most coddled women in that society and give them a job in the writer's room (they didn't earn it) you get their immaturity quite literally writ large. Which if you've been paying attention is exactly what the person(s) responsible for hiring these infantile adults wanted to happen. They want a splinter culture that caters to this sort of immaturity and therein, creates a lasting want and need in that culture for an adult i.e. 'mommy and daddy' to relieve them of the burdens of their lives but more importantly, to shield them from the dangers of freedom and the obligations of personal responsibility. It creates people who want to be ruled, essentially. Which is why this show is political in its very creation irrespective of the content of the show itself. It's also why these same people are attacking Western ethos in the form of its venerated characters. They know you have no gods or modern-day heroes to rally around, given you're much too cynical for that. So now they're removing even your fantasy heroes such that there is no ideal man to rally around nor to compare yourselves too. This makes gathering a social force to resist them nigh impossible. it's also why they were so terrified of Trump and populism/nationalism, since the latter represents a worship of country and culture and the former represents an American avatar of the latter. There really are cool things happening right now but you wouldn't know that unless you assign intention to all the 'bad decisions' your leaders have been making for the last 50 years. Otherwise it just appears as a nebulous decline without direction albeit heading predictably to a singular outcome. Now for TH-cam to block this post.
A lot of that post was interesting, and I agree with some of the points you make. I'd debate some of the others, mostly when it comes to assumptions about motivations, since I've actually debated the kind of people you're talking about. But the last part of the third paragraph was laughably bad. Like, that is such a bad straw man of critics of the previous U.S. president and the movement he helmed. And a pretty bad steel man of that same president/movement.
I personally dislike Trump because he's increasing political division in the US for his own gain, while doing nothing to change the quid-pro-quo status in Congress as he claims to work 'for the common man.' Not that he _can_ do much, but he sounds like the advertisers on TV; talk big, do little. Nationalism is fine, China all the way, lmao.
24:46 it would be good too if the black cat summon 2 monsters, one small and onother big, the blonde guy rescues Rose because she is fronzen of fear and defeat easily the small one but is defeated by the big one for being cocky and overconfident. Rose and sage defeat the big one and the blonde guy has envy to Rose, becoming rivals
Character 'traits' are just character information, sex, age, race, faction, gender, etc. Character 'personalities' are who they actually are and why we give a shit about them as a person. Traits affect personality, but are *not* personality. *Making a trait a selling point is tokenization.* The writers didn't make people. They made commodities.
"Magus of the library" as an entire book dedicated to traveling to the library to begin the exam to enter. The journey is really good and knocks on into the exam. This shit ant that
An idea for Old magic VS New magic Old magic comes from ones own magic supply meaning it takes time to make it useable but can make stronger spells due to how finetuned the magic can be and it naturally having an affinity for spells that effect the caster (Healing, buffs, appearance changing, etc.) New magic comes from the environment around you this allows for faster casting but are generally weaker, this would explain the rot that comes as a side effect, your talking magical energy from the plants and animals around you to cast your spell, so constant casting would lead to those side effects. This would make New magic unusable if your in a place where no magic besides your own is present, such as an anti magic field. This could lead to a portion of the bad guys attacking the school using one, which could make sage shine because of her being one of the few characters that is proficient in old magic (That we know about) and could change the school to include both old and new magic instead of just teaching new magic because it's just "better" This isn't anywhere near thought out because I wrote this all in like 30 mins of thinking but I like to put my ideas out there
30:42 "Be Water, My Friend. Empty your mind. Be formless, shapeless, like water. You put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. You put it into a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend." - Brue Lee
I dont remember where i watched this critique but the reviewer made a quite hilarious remark on another of the biggest failures of the show is that the title doesnt makes any sense because most if not all of the characters are not named after spices but herbs and/or flowers and even showed a simple graphic showing the difference betwen them. This might sound like a little nitpick on the sea of flaws that the show has but it also shows that the creators didnt even bother to background check what they were making.
@Rellyali1987 Nope, herbs. I guess should have put the diference betwen herbs and spices. Herbs uses leaves, flowers or stems while spices uses seeds, fruits, roots or barks.
@@phyrexian_dude4645 And it doesn't get much better with the rest of the cast. "Anise" is yet another herb; "Mandrake" is a medicinal herb, as are "Aloe" and "Lavender"; "Olive" doesn't qualify as either herb or spice; "Redbud" is a type of tree that I don't even think has parts edible/useful to humans... The only times they get it right are Caraway (the Raye Rodriguez self-insert) and Fennel (Rosemary's Dad).
Your rewrite was so much better and drew me into the story very effectively unlike the original that had wondering when the actual story would begin. Please continue as prefer your version over the bland original.
I won't even make the first episode this, but the second! I would plant another ep before this, this one set in their home town. Things planned would be: - Rose's family talking/hinting about Rose, maybe her father gives her the locket and picture? - introduction of Sage's mom and her dislike for new magic - they get the acceptance letters for HGA Rosemary, due to her relation to Lavender, which starts to plant self doubts if she can be a Guardian just because she is Lavender Jr. Sage won't get her letter, yet. Let's say there is a dude from HGA who delivers them, he rests in the village. Only Rose got accepted. Some monster attacks. Maybe send by Lavender to test Rose, but Sage is the one reacting. Sage saves the dude with her old magic who is impressed and gives her a letter (after sending a post bird/owl to HGA to recommend her). Maybe he jabs at her using old magic, which plants her doubt of using old and not new, and makes her mom pissed. Also, I would focus the series a bit stronger on Sage to make her equal with Rose.
I discovered your channel a few weeks ago from a friend, and I've now been binging them all and really soaking it in. It's such great work, and from the few hours I've watched of your content, I can't help but agree with pretty much every point. It's been incredibly helpful for me too. I've stepped up my writing a lot because of you. And I've started an RPG game's script and more, and this has really helped me stay on track. You've encouraged me a ton. Helping me see my strengths, boost my confidence, and recognize my flaws. So I really have to thank you for all this work you do!
“ To write emotional depth, one must _have_ emotional depth”
-Corvus, 2021
Great episode, as usual; always love to hear the Devil’s take
"The story-maker proves a successful "sub-creator". he makes a secondary world which your mind can enter. Inside it, what he relates is "true": it accords with the laws of that world. You therefore believe it, while you are, as it were, inside. The moment disbelief arises, the spell is broken, the magic, or rather art, has failed".
-J.R.R Tolkien
Yeah his version of re-write is way better than the original already XD. Not only his summary shows a good story telling but also already gives us more than enough character introductions and a sense of intrigue.
@@gaming1zanagi-1999 Be V N C V V
@@SnowfairyX117 what is VNCVV ?
@@gaming1zanagi-1999 I think I made a comment accidentally with phone in pocket while listening.
I'd like to point out that Anise and Aloe try to convince Sage to disregard her mother's advice about new versus old magic by telling her that the mother used to be a new magic enthusiast. The writers completely fail to recognize that this tidbit actually STRENGTHENS Mama Sage's case by explaining that she gave new magic a fair shake, only to become convinced that the old way was better.
Hey, just like people who had a " new wave phase" when young, then realize the "oldschool" way works for a reason (with some improvements that is) and embrace it, recognizing they just didnt know better. XD
It was intended to be some kind of jab at the idea that her mom fooled around being a lesbian like them when she was younger, but its extremely dumb to make the statement that "if you tried something and didnt like it, youre a hypocrite for not supporting it"
Not only that the creator failed to show or tell us why Sage's mum doesn't agree with new magic at all. Like at that point they are given a lot of possibilities of what truly is the reason on why Sage's mum prohibit Sage from learning new magic outside of traditions. Like them showing us the real reason why Sage's mum prohibit Sage to use new magic is interesting like at least give us a backstory on what Sage's mum know about New magic's secret that other mage didn't realised.
@@gaming1zanagi-1999 they can't it is a poorly thought out way of saying people are discovering themselves and now identify as ... they can't seem to think of any thing homophobes might say instead it is just I don't know no reason is needed.
@@gaming1zanagi-1999 If it was me doing it, I feel I'd say that Sage's mom had tried a big spell with new magic, but it backfired on her big time, leading her to be hurt somehow, so she wants to try to not let the same thing happen to Sage, besides keeping to traditions.
HGS team: *raises hand* Is gender a character trait?
Literature Devil: No, HSG team, gender is not a character trait.
HSG team: *raises hand*
Literature Devil: Sexuality is not a character trait either.
Marvel: We just black-washed Kang.
Me:Why? Isn’t Kang the future descendant of Reed Richards?
Marvel: Um…He’s called He who remains, but he is a Kang.
Me: He who remains is a completely different character, his creator was the One Above All, why did you crammed the two into one?
Marvel: It will make Loki interesting because subverting expectations is always the right choice.
Me: Rather than….I dunno making an interesting story with a threatening and compelling villain, instead of this goof who somehow got rid of free will and has control of the current universe, despite being human.
Marvel:…..We also made Loki gender fluid.
Me: That was a throwaway line, stop making a big deal over it and focus more on the writing and characterization, also stop with the comedic tone, it’s getting unprofessional like Yelena talking about her Castrated Uterus like it’s normal.
well... sexuality is tecnically a character trait, but it should never be the most important one.
@@silverschmid4591 it's not no matter how you put it
Character 'traits' are just character information, sex, age, race, faction, gender, etc. Character 'personalities' are who they actually are and why we give a shit about them as a person. Traits affect personality, but are *not* personality.
*Making a trait a selling point is tokenization.*
The writers didn't make people. They made commodities.
@@lawgx9819 It is though... It just shouldn't be used as a whole character. You know the whole "someone is more than the sum of their parts" deal?
"My mother taught me that old writing was sacred"
"New writing is easier, lol"
"Dragon shows up and dies of a heart attack."
That killed me.🤣
Via convenient heart attack?
Sudden and unexpected heart attack caused by Myocarditis that showed up two weeks after the dragon got the third Pfizer jab, although that is just a coincidence of course.
and also exploded into stars for no reason
@@sarafontanini7051
Probably a more dignified end than being gutted like that sea dragon Rosemary put down.
There's something hilarious about the idea of the conflict being dead on arrival
I've seen lots of people claiming: "Oh, HGS isn't that bad. You weebs watch worse stuff out there."
Life pro-tip: If you need to bring something worse to defend anything, deep down you know you're defending something of questionable quality.
The so-called "worse" stuff is much better than High Guardian Spice, because for one, they know exactly who are their target audience.
I disagree. But I do think that the fact that there's something worse that's popular says nothing about the quality of the work, especially if the satnadrs were lower or budget sucked. I do think there are arguments where this comparison is warranted, but this is not it.
@@SuperVini310 To be fair, to an extent, the defenders of _HGS_ were right as some weebs watch some stuff that is borderline pornographic which is not found in _HGS_ . Not defending _HGS_ by the way.
@@1685Violin , the Kill La Kill anime almost reaches hentai territory, but yet it still introduces the audience the characters, world building, etc etc in a proper story structure instead of somebody just throwing random shit in their drawers and calling it a day like High Guardian Spice does, so yes High Guardian Spice is objectively terrible at everything.
@@1685Violin They aren't, because it's apples to oranges. Ecchi is not hentai, and hentai itself is a separate genre entirely from other anime and easily distinguishable. Trying to compare apples to oranges is a completely dishonest argument.
Wait, if the writing staff is 100% female, that could only mean either:
a) Raye Rodriguez isn't a part of the writing staff of his own show,
b) the lady misgendered Raye Rodriguez.
c) they don't consider him a person.
Erm, female is sex not gender(?)
Perhaps Raye didn't transition 100% yet or yeah she misgendered him
@@lightningpenguin8937 this would be an interessing plot twist dammit
It’s because he’s one of the “good men”
Or he's gay
Suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack, and the journey could continue.
Props on the animator for doing the Black Beast of Aaarrrgh all by himself
WHAT!... is your name?
@@Vercalos Kujo Jotaro
@@ondururagittandeska2004 What!....is your favourite colour?
@@TheRealDragonslay3r94 Transparent
I guess Megamind was right about the importance of a villain's presentation, because everytime you do one of these videos, I'm always entertained 🤣
Megamind knows how to be an amazing cartoon vilain.
*“In order to be able to think, you have to risk being offensive.”*
Something that Erwin Rommel might say
@@tyvamakes5226 So Erwin Rommel is Jordan Peterson(the person who quoted)?
@@MVAS-mp9oo It's something he will say during the retraining of the Italians before Operation Crusader.
I hope you watched the Crusader documentary.
@@tyvamakes5226
Hmmm...
I thought rommel was more of a Sun Tzu guy.
@@chuckysmaria6466 More of a brilliant commander and less of a philosophical commander.
There is no greater tragedy for a story than wasted potential.
So true.
Twice dead king: reign is a good example of this. It’s a good book, don’t get me wrong, but it could have been so much better
Except what potential was there with something set up to fail from the very start?
HGS has the potential of a blank canvas because it's completely devoid of anything.
They never explained what is a "Guardian" supposed to do other than being a generic RPG murderhobo fighting bad guys.
@@DonVigaDeFierro if it didn't have potential then a video like this one wouldn't exist. There are clearly things that CAN be done with these characters. It's just that the writing team it had didn't seem to have a lot of creativity.
the saddest part? there were many very prominent female manga authors at least a decade before this cartoon network rainbow $#!7 pellet was even conceived.
Rumiko Takahashi, Naoko Takeuchi, Yana Toboso, Hiromu Arakawa, CLAMP, Kazue Kato, Katsura Hoshino, Riyoko Ikeda, and many others i could blabber on about for a week straight, since they're responsible for some of the best written and most iconic anime of all time.
it's like they deliberately ignored the existence of these women for the sake of pushing this hollow garbage
When it comes to female manga authors, I think Kaworu Watashiya is my favorite.
It's amazing how often people pretend they're the first to do something when they know people will lap up that lie and run with it
CLAMP has diversity in sexualities in her characters, but also personality. She does a great job at it as well.
And don’t forget Koyoharu Gotoge!
@@Latency345 CLAMP is a group, but yes.
as a novice writer, high guardian spice is amazing. now i know what NOT to do when writing a story
based
So I'm writing a Superhero comic. TLD pointed out two things I need to add to my first chapter that I neglected yet somehow put into the other 3 chapters as I'm writing it as a graphic novel. Gotta love this channel.
"Not every character has to be introduced in the first episode."
Yes! Anime is amazing at this. Even with adding in characters that received more attention by the audience than expected, such as Hiei in Yu Yu Hakusho. They don't always add so many at once. I hate when stories try to force all their main characters into the first episode, especially with a large cast when they really don't need to.
EDIT: 1k likes and a great conversation? Thanks y'all! 💖
Avengers Earth Mightiest Heroes introduced each character in separate episodes starting with Ironman before the breakout happened.
Animated Justice League introduced Batman, Superman and Martian Manhunter in the first part of the first episode before the invasion began, until the other heroes like Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Flash and Hawkgirl appear in the second part, and they’re come together to fight the invasion by the Imperium.
@@LegacyComics100 , One Piece is both the greatest Shonen/Shonen Jump anime series of all time doesn’t automatically introduce to all of the Strawhat Pirates, and it shows you the characters Luffy convinces to join his Pirate Crew through his actions alone, and the very first characters we’re introduced is Koby and the Alvida Pirates, and then Zoro being his first mate; Nami the navigator, etc etc, until in the current Wano Arc we’re introduced to Jinbe the helmsman, so yes even an anime series like One Piece that SJWS shits on endlessly doesn’t automatically introduce the audience to Luffy the Captain and all of his Pirate Crew because that’d make the Pirate King journey boring and confusing, so it seems writers like Oda and Lit Dev knows how to be perfect professional writers compared to writers that worked on High Guardian Spice.
Oh no, he hasn't watched the show that introduced a full 34 characters in its first episode. Perhaps it's for the best.
@@RTDelete , Cowboy Bebop is also a late 90’s anime/manga series that’s great too, but I was just using an example I’m more well versed in than Cowboy Bebop, but you’re right Cowboy Bebop would also be another great example on what competent writing is compared to incompetent writing like the live action Cowboy Bebop and High Guardian Spice.
Beyblade also didn't show all the main characters in one episode. Tyson and Kenny appear in episode 1, Kai appeared at the end of episode 1. Max was introduced in episode 3, and Ray made his debut in episode 6!😶
One change I'd like to offer for your rewrite is to have it so that Rosemary's mother, Lavender, isn't immediately revealed to be a bad guy (or working with/for the bad guys) in the first episode. In fact, it should be kept ambiguous if she's even still alive, anyway.
It's one of the reasons the Darth Vader twist in the original Star Wars trilogy was so effective: the audience was just in much for a shock as Luke was. Blowing the twist villain load too early kind of loses its effectiveness (at least for the audience).
Olive could still be answering to a higher power, but maybe keep it a mystery who they are at the moment.
Still a very good rewrite.
Everyone expects an evil parent twist as of now.
@@AntediluvianRomance everyone expects most twists as of now.
World Trigger having a weak MC that never gets friendship power is somehow a twist that people don't see coming. Him never getting a hidden power reveal is one of the few twists people haven't expected nowadays, lmao.
Well she was revealed to be *acting* as one of the bad guys' ranking officers, and did turn to their side *as far as they know....*
Still too early to rule out that she's on a deep cover mission.....That Rosemary could ruin without realizing it...
I think it would be a little too on the nose to follow in the footsteps of a famous twist in an incredibly popular movie. It would be better to have Lavender seem like a fallen hero, and truly be a villain. She will set out to foil Rosemary's attempts to join the Guardians but goes soft because she is her daughter. After a few bouts of similar conflicts, she can eventually shift from stopping Rosemary, to testing her, in an attempt to relive, through her daughter, that heroic spark she lost long ago.
Something like that, at least; We DO want to make a mature show, and I think this would be a relatively nuanced theme to explore.
A real twist would be if she was always a villain. That the stories are just modified, just to make her look good. That's a story I'd be down to see! Her whole legacy being a sham!
Are we also going to ignore the fact that the characters are named after herbs and not spices?
You have to put out the raging trash fire in the middle of the living room before you worry about the color of the drapes.
No, but major crisis before minor crisis.
It's not relevant that the naming convention is wrong, if the show can't even stand on it's own.
High Guardian Herb would sound too much like a show Snoop Dog would make for a tax break.
I think they could get away with herb names if they had some more actual spices mixed in with it (Anise is the only spice name I've heard). Like Salt, and Pepper might sound funny, but Saffron, Ginger and Nutmeg are all perfectly serviceable names. Also, why wouldn't you look for a reason to call someone Turmeric?
It'd be easy to fix this with a simple "You get a new name when/while you serve as a high guardian." Then have _those_ names all be spices.
I love how you break down the problems with HGS while also offering solutions in order to make the writing at least SOMEWHAT tolerable. Most people who talk about this series just shit on it (which is fine by me because this series is garbage) but your informative yet entertaining approach to critiquing it actually helps people learn! Great work LD. This video was well worth the 2 day wait.
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed!
@@LiteratureDevil Good job tearing apart High Guardian Spice. You should do the same with Netflix's She-Ra and the Princesses of Power series.
my point of view is always disappointment if a show turns out bad, and if I'm intrigued enough by the good elements or just have some small tiny spark of interest I wanna see if it can be salvaged as I don't like to see a story and/or its characters beign wasted.
Yeah agree, I always prefer commentary that offers solution, but doesn't mean I disliking the commentary that did not. I just prefer it more because as a _(amateur)_ writer I watches these kind of videos to learn what works and what don't.
I appreciate how people are offering solutions to hgs instead of just saying it's bad.
It's kinda disappointing that the show gives you the pieces to make a good story, but doesn't use them well. Clearly at least some of the writers had good ideas, that were unfortunately not followed through on.
"we are not creating characters, we are creating people"
- Hayao Miyazaki
meanwhile somewhere in Crychyroll studio:
we create
REPRESENTATION CHECKLISTS
One thing I find interesting about Kurt's 8 Rules is #6: 'Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them-in order that the reader may see what they are made of.'
Whenever I write fiction, either in my head only are for tabletop play, often times I right it that really sad things happen to characters people love and based on whether or not it makes sense to me it can either be horrible suffering they endure or it changes them in ways that usually for the worse. I always wondered if I just like causing suffering for some weird reason, but after knowing a lot more about I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream, I realize that I do this because unconsciously it makes characters that much more engaging and interesting instead of just some personal torture porn.
The author of Made In Abyss practically breathed this rule, holy hell
@@paigemosher8697 injected straight into the veins
There's a delicate balance when subjecting characters to horrible scenarios.
Audiences will become apathetic if the series becomes too bleak, and the characters' only purpose is to be tortured and be miserable for no reason and with no hope of a resolution. On the flip side, audiences won't get invested if the resolutions come across as too easy, and the characters aren't challenged.
Audiences do get invested in a hero's journey type story. You don't need horrible suffering or great pain in order to write a good engaging character, especially if it's done in a way that tells a compelling story. Black Clover for instance tells a very interesting story about a magicless character's training (not sadistic torment) to become the Wizard King and protect the people of the land. He goes through struggles, as most good stories have for the MC or MC's. Some pains and setbacks, and more dedication or changing themselves towards a new goal. But you don't need your characters to become broken or tormented to write a good story.
Ignore the sadist rule, it's not necessary. But if you do want to have a story of great suffering, remember why you're writing it. Always for your characters to fight against it and overcome, or die trying. Have them develop something good in the process. Don't be a sadist, be a realist.
@@valthiriansunstrider2540 Boy I was tired when I wrote this, I didn't even spellcheck it myself.
Anyway, I appreciate the comments, but just to clarify: When I updated myself on No Mouth Must Scream, I realized that I've never gone that far, nor for the sole reason of torturing the characters...it always serves a purpose to further the story in interesting ways, and sometimes it just makes more narrative sense for a character to change in a more negative way in the face of certain events.
For an example, in a modern day super hero setting, a group I had played as anti heroes, and they saved kids that were experimented on before the heroes of the world could take action. One of those kids is an adorable and well-behaved 4-5 -year-old girl who is very kind and just wants to help people. However, the results of her experiment gifted her with rapidly increasing intelligence without the maturity of being proper raised to go with it, and she was living in a house full of people who were extremely morally grey and did a lot of in the shadows work. When one of the players killed another player who was the one that saved her and became the father figure she never had before, I did research and it turns out she was primed for becoming a sociopath. Since no one else that was an adult invested in her enough beyond what they thought was necessary and her only mother figure takes her own life due to the trauma and effects of her own experience being experimented on, she slowly sacrifices everything she cares about in pursuit of revenge.
By the time she reaches ten, she has left the group and become a threat to them via her superhuman intelligence and an acquired superpower. She's nothing like she was, transformed into what she keeps trying to destroy via revenge on those who hurt her, and yet her pain only gets worse. She has a final confrontation in which, by an unintended reaction, she is fatally wounded by the one person who never gave up on her: the boy she grew up with both in the orphanage and after they were rescued, who shared her trauma of experimentation, of which she was once inseparable from, for which she was always there for, and for whom she had developed feelings for.
In her dying moments, and through the boy's words, she realizes that she tricked herself into believing she was always a horrible monster. She realizes that her path took her away from everything she wanted, because she chose to withdraw and give in to her pain instead of trying to open up and be try to be free of it. Even so, the pain and hurt she felt seems to flee from her in her finals moments and she dies perhaps not complete or happy, but at least in peace.
It may seem dark and horrible to write that to happen to a character, but to me it just makes sense. All the players learn from this that it was their lack of being adults capable of giving young children what they need that lead to this result, which develops them. It also develops all the other children who used to be her friends who strayed from her as they grew older, realizing that any one of them could have potentially stopped this if they had been better friends to her. The boy who never gave up on her experiences growth through loss, learns about her feelings for him which leads him through his loss and through intense soul searching, dedicates himself to a major cause...something his loss helps form him into a man who wouldn't have been capable otherwise.
Devil does to HGS what Celtic Phoenix does to RWBY.
Nothing makes me happier seeing someone turn trash into something salvageable. It reassures me that there really is no such a thing as a “bad idea” only bad executions.
Precisely. Ideas are cheap to come by. I guarantee that 80% of this comment section has 1 or 2 actually brilliant pitches, but the Devil is in the details...
@@DonVigaDeFierro For real mate, I've had 2 or 3 ideas I thought were utterly brilliant, to the point I actually tried writing one of them out, spent a ton of time worldbuilding, before eventually realizing there was no reason for anyone but me to actually want to explore it. drafting a story is fairly easy. Actually writing one is a whole different beast, maybe some day I'll give it another shot. But not anytime soon.
Would you all stop saying RWBY is the worst thing ever!!
It's really not all that bad and half the internet saying is more after two whole decades or less everyone being a broken record at this point.
Come on people.
It's not the worst thing ever made when compared to nonsense like High Guardian Spice.
And I really wish everyone would stop treating it (Along with stuff I like like Mr. Enter and Nickelback) like it's the equivalent of Lord Voldemort.
With everyone going mad everytime this series is brought up.
If anything. The hate for RWBY (Which I don't even understand) is getting old very quickly (Am I the only who still loves it).
@@dylansmith5206 Ever heard of Gundam SEED?
I know your feel, and because I know I can asure you:
They wont stop, either you accept it and live with that or keep what you are doing on a loop; your choice.
Then again try to listen to them, and give them a point where it actually matters, who knows it might help you understand more about what you like.
Be it why you like it and why others dont, why It works in some areas and not in others.
Given you are here, Im sure you do that already, and if not, you are still in a good road... With some luck and open mind.
@@freedomkirax1020a Never seen Gundam Seed once in my life.
Since I have no interest in The Mecha Anime Genre.
Is that supposed to be a quote from that show you just asked me about?
I'm an artist, also attempting at writing, but throughout 20 years, I've been observing cartoons and anime, how the characters act, their actions, designs, personalities etc, so I could get a good idea on what the majority of people would like while still making my own ideas.
I'm Latina and a woman, I'd be kicked out if I was working with those other women, due to my ideas and how I like drawing busty female characters lmao
And yes, your story sounds a lot better, it flows and gets up hooked on the first episode
Having a diverse cast of characters and body types is fun. Characters with big or small busts, super muscular characters that tower over people, short and stout characters, lanky string bean characters.
"High Guardian Spice is like a children's show made for adults".
That's an insult to children's shows.
"Anise makes tea and cookies for them, while Aloe makes pancakes." Then they left.
That short sentence from the wikipedia summary did sums up the whole show.
Freaking HELL
I read this at 2:54
SO FITTING
Making tea and cookies. Making pancakes. Leaving.
Freaking EPIC !
Who wants to eat cookies and pancakes? 🥞
The best part of a mediocre show like that is watching youtubers coming up whit better ideas
Too bad TH-camrs don't make their own animated shows.
@@HenriFaust Well, animated shows are expensive and takes a long time to produce. And there are plenty of TH-camrs that can pull it off.
Heh. I've seen many disappointed people rewriting scenes from this show and making them actually good.
@@HenriFaust Smilling Frienda comes to mind, although that is just a comedy.
@@phoenixdouchebag904 I'm aware that there are a small number of TH-camrs who put their money where their mouth is, yes. That was why I mentioned it.
If you do another of these for episode two, I feel like a major point should be giving some actual weight to the “old magic versus new magic” scene. I could see it actually being narratively important it is presented in a way like, “old magic is indeed powerful, and can have much wider reaching effects in the moment it’s cast, but there is an inherent flaw in a high guardian relying primarily on hold magic. It takes time. A high guardian’s primary job is to protect those who cannot protect themselves, and every moment spent preparing old magic to be cast is another moment where an innocent is in danger, or worse. That is why I will only be teaching you new magic, but if you wish to study old magic feel free to do so on your own time. Just keep it out of my classroom.” A much better reason than “new magic is just better”; gives potential for an arc in which tries new magic but finds it less practical for due to her familiarity with old magic; and can set up a “prove the professor wrong” kind of ongoing theme for Sage.
Or setup a scenario where you need to use a combination of Old and New Magic to solve a problem that one cannot do without the other. Kind of like the concept of the Tao.
But you see, that would require some thought and that is something a room full of female writing staff seem to be incapable of doing.
agreed, the harsh and uncompromising dismissal would raise questions as to what the exchange is, and the only information presented is Old Magic is slow and thats it
Or you could leave it as it is and use that to explore on how the "quick and easy" solution slowly corrupts those who seek it. Learning old magic isn't just about learning spells and rituals, old magic also teaches discipline and work ethic, the skipping of which has devastating consequences.
@@MGerdtell very true, or based on several videos on the series. New Magic seems to be more "user effecient" but in doing so it creates a destructive by-product that changes or destroys the local flora and fauna. like some kind of run-off or alchemical pollutant that the acts and rituals of old magic do not create because the caster effectively processes the raw magic to prevent such an eventuality from happening
there's a lot of directions you could take this that isn't 'Sage abandons her beliefs and jsut goes with the popular trend of new magic'
like hell actually have a difference between the two whch BOTH have flaws and strengths!
I feel that broken locket thing could have been resolved way better, like;
-why not have Sage surprise Rosemary at the end of the episode or in a later one with a picture frame.
-why not have Rosemary take the two pieces and poorly tie them to a piece of string-this could create a more interesting introduction to Parsley-her perhaps seeing the broken locket at school and approaching Rose about it
-Why not take the two pieces and make them into earrings-it sounds weird but hear me out- it would add more personality to Rose’s design as well as be subtle foreshadowing to her mother’s betrayal and split from her family
There are also way more better ways this could’ve been done but they just had to go with the most awkward and obvious option
Personally I would’ve used the teachers’ preferences on New Magic as a way to set up the academy as the true villains. Maybe the people in the academy want others to rely on New Magic because they have the power to disable it.
They could also be the ones behind The Rot (a bioweapon maybe?) that can supposedly only be beaten with New Magic. Olive could be part of an organization rebelling against the oppressive system along with Rosemary’s mom who used to be a peon that killed innocent Old Magic healers. Then Rosemary could learn to think critically about her heroes and know the truth about personal heroism.
I have a feeling that would hit too close to home for the creators. That is a fantastic idea. Would it be that the teachers are all in on it, or someone with administrative power manipulating the curriculum? Or maybe even a government official forcing that type of education?
I am sure the writers would be against it because the ones trying and some succeeding at changing the school and corporation systems to their advantage are the progressives.
@@jamess.8279 possibly those three ladies that run the school? Or maybe some overarching villain. Maybe make the teachers have arcs about breaking away from their oppressive system? Possibly have one of the teachers kill a student for knowing too much then wipe Rosemary’s mind. Eventually she would find out and get revenge on the teacher in some brutal fashion and then realize what she’s done.
I mean hell the academy straight up has a teacher outright trying to MURDER the students, why the fuck NOT make them the bad guys?
the triumvirate can also be bad guys
BAD GUYS FOR EVERYONE
That could be good but I feel like that would need multiple seasons to do properly. It would be a great twist but the audience would need to have become accustomed to the teachers and the academy.
The idea of the magic being disabled would also be a great plot point and story arc. I imagine it would have a bit of a rescue arc in it, to get Sage back (though the idea of Sage turning to the dark side because she's become indoctrinated to new magic is quite compelling imo), and also would be a great way to redeem Lavender, as Rosemary has to get used to her mother, who has probably had drastic changes, in what is essentially a semi-apocalypse.
Still, it wouldn't feel like a real reveal until a couple seasons in. Hints would be dropped throughout the first couple of seasons but if it's done too quickly it's hard to care about the twist.
it's easy to impress a child with an epic metal band poster, but a much harder task to explain to them the meaning behind it.
If the writer has any talent, they can make new Magic is literally “oil” in that world. The quickness and efficiency would cause damage to the nature. Boom! Instant plot point and the lefty crowd would love it.
Looking at other reviews, that is what was set up. New Magic is causing damage to the environment (how, dunno, didnt watch).
Basically what Dark Sun already did, so if that's what they were going for they probably just ripped off DnD.
Or FF7's Mako energy crisis and Materia, as others have also pointed out in similar criticism videos.
The "New Magic" Is what makes the delusional degeneracy of the SJWs possible like denying your biological sex and trying to forcibly changing It while poisoning the planet and yourself.
Sounds like male magic in wheel of time. The source of male magic got tainted by the dark one in the past in retaliation while being sealed, and as a result men who use magic get tainted little by little each time they tap into it and eventually they go insane. And any magic cast with it becomes tainted and eventually degrades and corrupts in some way. Its described as like a layer of oil on top of the water in the well, each time you scoop up some of the water (male magic) you can't help but get some of the oil as well.
You should've renamed the characters too. They're named after herbs not spices.
He should have just called them the names of their counterparts in Madoka. Because that's what the designs are based on.
I think we should Just rename the title to something else
I really cant think about a name of a herb that could be used as name of a human
@@arumaka3662 no what i meant is that the characters are already named after herbs.
@@MadGas_111 oh my bad i wriited "Herb" when i wanted to wriite "Spice"
I cant think about a Spice name that could be used as a human name that what i meant i sorry
@@arumaka3662 no problem. But I believe there is pepper. So that's one.
When a possible conflict in the first episode was mentioned (to replace the boring slog we got), I started thinking up another idea. Granted, I like the idea presented in the video better, I just want to share the scenario that wormed its way into my head.
Because Rosemary and Sage's village is pretty much in the middle of nowhere, they are not financially well-off. So they have to use their money to pay for a wagon ride into a nearby merchant town where there is a train station that can take them all the way to Lyngarth (but won't have the bus or rising elevator, and the only reason they need the wagon is that the village is nowhere near the train station, but the traders on the wagons go out from the merchant town to trade with all nearby villages, Pebble included. So the girls get a ride on one of the trade wagons).
However, when they get to the train station, they don't have enough money to purchase tickets to Lyngarth (which turns out to be a lot more expensive than the girls originally thought, since it is such a major hub of activity in this world). My original thought of what could be the conflict (albeit it is kinda basic) comes into play here: the greedy ticket salesman suggests that maybe Rosemary could give her the fancy sword she has in lieu of payment, since it'd fetch a pretty penny on the market (approximately at least double or triple the money he would have made if they'd just bought the tickets). Obviously Rosemary is aghast at the offer, given that the sword is from her mother, so she turns him down, and they get subsequently turned away from the station.
Rosemary and Sage end up having to ask around town for help finding anything valuable that will satisfy the greedy ticket salesman, but the only possible lead that comes up is a nearby crystal mine known for having magical crystals that can be crafted into Terraspheres (which happens to be why the town was built here in the first place) that has since been occupied by a dangerous beast. There is a bounty posted for slaying the monster, and the reward money plus the idea of giving the ticket salesman some Terrasphere crystals to cover the ticket costs causes Rosemary to rush off to the mine, with Sage trailing behind.
The monster (don't really know what it would be atm) easily drives Rosemary and Sage into a corner, but Sage notices that one of the nearby crystals is slightly loose. So maybe Rosemary distracts the monster while Sage uses Old Magic to get the earth to disgorge the crystal. It is then that Sage realizes something they can do to kill the monster, so she has Rosemary lure it over the loose crystal, and just when it is in position, she uses Old Magic to shoot the raw Terrasphere crystal upward into the soft underbelly of the monster straight into its heart. But the lodging of the crystal in the heart causes a weird purple substance to spread rapidly throughout its veins - Rot. And while the monster dies, and they're able to get some more raw Terrasphere crystals to placate the ticket salesman along with the extra spending money from the bounty, Sage is left visibly disturbed by the whole ordeal. That crystal that caused the Rot to spread was the same crystal used in Terrasphere crafting, and Terraspheres are required for the casting of New Magic. So now Sage is aware that her parents forbade her from using New Magic for a damn good reason.
Congratulations, it's pretty good!
Also a good idea. I'd only make the detail about Sage making the conection between what happened to the dragon and the Rot happen in a later episode. This could, however, play into her hesitance to pick up new magic at school.
I don't like idea of that Rosemary and Sage beat monster in a first episode.It's just make them special.And this two girls go into academy for fighting monsters,but they alredy beat one,like what sense of it?And how teachers and students would react on this information?They would be praised by everyone?Sage and Rosemary would come up as Mary Sue's.But if not,everyone other in academy would look like blind,deaf idiots.I think better will be throw this two into the academy already in first episode and introduce Thyme and Amaryllis as they antagonistic figures and future members of PBGP team (or even love interests).Yep I replace Parsley with Amaryllis.
On a narrative level, High Guardian Spice is the worst written anime I’ve ever had the misfortune to witness.
“Anime”
High Guardian Spice is not anime.
Ha! King of the Hill is more anime than this "attempt to be mature" immaturish cartoon
@@n-extrafries-surprise Boomhauer does need subs, yes
@@n-extrafries-surprise not a fair comparison
King of the Hill knew what its target audience was
High Guardian Spice is one of those shows that is so thoroughly bad that even small changes would be significant improvements.
One such example from a novice in the field of writing:
On the Journey to Lyngarth, when the girls get to the double decker cart (?) and present their tickets, this time 'round the conductor merely mentions the tickets not giving them assigned seats in passing and is about to let them onto the cart... until Rosemary brags about them being future Guardians who do not need seats; the conductor, annoyed by Rosemary's attitude and disrespect, has them thrown on top with the luggage, making that portion of the ride rather uncomfortable. And later on, when they are boarding the train, Rose & Sage try to cut the line to get onto the train sooner... but are caught, and have to stay in a non-passenger car -- after either being held until the end of the line, or simply thrown in there -- thus getting barely any rest on the long ride to Lyngarth.
Extremely minor tweaks, but in these tweaks we have established Rosemary as having a consistent flaw of being a bit brash and reckless, and that this behavior will have consequences for her. Of course, in this case the consequences are relatively minor; the cart and train still took them to their destinations, just a bit less conveniently. But we can increase the stakes in later episodes, to the point that Rosemary is more or less forced to change for the better.
But anyway, Beelzebook's rewrite is a significant step up. Well done, sir.
Also, if the bus was treated seperately as a civilian double decker, the bus tickets could turn out to be fake if they were bought instead of supplied by the school.A small bit of a lesson on being careful with Scams.
Half off Tickets.
They're just given the option to ride on the top in apology...sadly it's more like a punishment with how umcomftrable it is.
Rosemary: Okay...maaaaybe you and Chicory were right about that salesmen...
Sage: I told you so.. *Puffs out chest in vindication.*
It could also set-up Sage's blow up at Rosemary during the gorgon raid or however everyone became a statue. Showing us that Sage is basically dragged around by Rosemary and has to deal the consequences of someone elses actions
Fun fact: the add revenue you'll earn from this video is far less than what the authors of the show were payed. So technically, literally everybody would have been better off if they had hired you instead.
One thing I'm sincerely grateful for the existence of High Guardian Spice is it became a free-for-all sandbox for aspiring artists, writers, voice overs and animators to rehash and redesign. It's a bit of a.... confidence boost. I'm more of a background artist and animator so I'm more critical of the character staging, cinematography and designs.
In all honesty there are some good ideas here and there such as "The Rules of Being A Guardian #3: A Weapon Inherited Is Not Inherently Suited." and I wish there was an expansion on the "Rules Of Being A Guardian" being said here and there, but the writers are so obsessed with lesbianism that they have to force the entire story on that path and that annoys me.
- Do the characters have family names/ surnames? I was too hot with the skip button and hearing impaired to catch anything @@
- As a woman who had spent most of my childhood and adulthood in a gender exclusive school, I hate the feminist rhetoric of "women are innocent and pure with their feelings" with a passion. Like.... no, ma'am. I've seen women at their pettiest. They can hold grudges from kindergarten to senior highschool, push each other to suicide, etc.
- I wanted to see a male character in a positive light so badly that I retreated to watching Sanrio Danshi (basically an anime about normal teenage boys who just like the sanrio mascots). And I hate the fact that Snapdragon is intended to be groomed as a trans-woman. Like.... wtf.
I've never really watched anime (Like watching things get sh*t on), but you'd think the people who work for the anime company would know what a god damn femboy was. I mean, it would've worked better than just saying "You don't a lotta boy stuff, but do like a lotta girl stuff? Good for you, you should become a girl now"
'Groomed' is clearly the right term here, and that in and of itself is telling of how screwed up HGS's writing is. (And writers are.)
@@Sorain1 We call them the Pink Mafia for a reason.
I haven't watched the show, but isn't it the trans teacher who even "grooms" Snapdragon?
You know that in the next scene from transition magic he says to Snapdragon he can chose whatever path thinks it's alright (can't believe I'm defending the show)
Too bad the writers of HGS will be too prideful to accept any of these tips. It sounds like chompy is a behavior and not a name for someone.
These tips also come from a man.
Big no no for them.
@@hoominbeeing even if it came from a woman, that would be all whiny and saying that “she’s just another pawn of the patriarchy”.
Even if they took any of these advices, there's not much use of them now, when the show is ready :q
Rewriting HGS in kishotenketsu is a genius idea! Amazing job!
Please explain?
@@Ramsey276one It’s a Japanese writing structure, as Literature Devil explained in the video. He’s throwing shade at HGS for claiming to be a Western “anime”, by rewriting its first episode in an anime structure.
@@jamesbaxter5147 I have to study that!
@@jamesbaxter5147 interesting! Is all anime written in that structure?
Most are.
Y'all remember when Rosemary nearly died to the point of becoming delusional from bloodloss and that had absolutely 0 impact on her character and had absolutely 0 consequence moving forward? Remember how Sage dropped a giant monster on Rosemary that nearly lead to Rosemary dying and THAT had absolutely 0 impact on HER character and had absolutely 0 consequence moving forward?
I agree High Guardian Spice is like one of those "Mature in name only" kinds of stories(I.E. 12-ounce mouse, Archer, Super Jail, Mr. Pickles, BrickleBerry, ATHF Family Guy, South Park, Rick, and Morty, and its imitators) with some swearing and naughty stuff here and there to try to live up to the "mature" label. Honestly, Literature Devil is the kind of writer they need but not the one they deserve
The label "mature" it's meant for edgy kids who think saying "fuck" is cool, and not actually mature people.
I am glad I am not the only one who noticed R&M is actually immature.
@@SergioLeonardoCornejo I agree if I can name a few cartoons that actually lived up to the mature rating would be Morel Orel, Primal and Bojack Horsemen. If only other adult cartoon creators realize that their work has the potential to be more than just another generic south park/family guy clone.
@@VoltitanDev Moral Orel is a tough one to watch. It really drives some harsh comentary on how social expectations mess things up.
@@VoltitanDev Also.
Cowboy Bebop. Full Metal Alchemists. JoJo. MHA.
And most other Anime shows say "Hello There"!
Jesus Christ, you went through with it.
Hopefully you didn't succumb to madness afterwords. Your sacrifice will be remembered by many to come.
Yes. Thats how brutal that show is.
look up postal 1 original ending. that is what hes going throught right now. we should be there for him.
one interesting way to fix the new magic , is to allow it to be more practical, quicker and easier, anyone can just pick it up and use it like a master, *but* contains a price, a hefty cost that may seem light at first, but shows itself in the future to be too much, perhaps it comes from an outside source, that slowly corrodes you, perhaps it changes you without your notice into something you are not, something that will make you work for it, instead of have it work for you.
From what I just heard they basically just went with the Dark Sun environmental angle. If you use new magic you fuck up the ecosystem.
@@Reddotzebra They could expand that view by making it rot the natural magic of the world, an the rot could create monsters of its own or corrupt the ones that exist, heck it can even turn pople into rot abominations, now that would be conflict, i vote for the lesbians.
Final Fantasy 8
Junctioning Paramagic/Guardian Force
It's not magic, just learn to Junction and Draw magic from a font/monster that don't kill you O_0 and you have spells! Or a cool Summon to protect you!
BUT YOU LOSE YOUR MEMORIES
Distilling down why this show doesn't work and the components needed in order to make a functional show is something you've always been good at Litdev. What really stuck to me was at the end with the quote from Dr. Jordan Peterson "There is nothing uglier then an old infant." I would add to that, that an "old infant" can't produce anything worth while either.
Great work as usual. :)
Very educational. I wish to become a better writer, and am finding the self-confidence necessary to begin. However watching these videos also helps keep the pride in check, its humbling... it is also very good to have another reference that isn't The Last Jedi.
A note on Rosemary as a design: Pulling from the plant would've made for a better visual. The plant has almost needle-like leaves in a nice shade of green. Though trope-y, that could've been used for the hair. And if the authors still wanted a different bright color, the plant also has small purple flowers.
I think they were going more for the rose half of the name. Here hair buns look like rose flowers.
They don't seem to be able to commit to the spice theme. Sage is blue-ish and parsley can have yellow flowers so that seems so influence the characters color palate. I guess Tyme being brown kinda matches the dried spice? Though, I think thyme is more a green to greenish-brown? Doesn't really track with the rest of the theme. Lavender doesn't have any lavender to her that I can see. Her evil cloak is a reddish purple so, I guess, close enough?
@@arichutfles9550 they can’t commit to it because they already did it wrong like I don’t know much about plants but isn’t rosemary more of a herb then a spice?
@@theblackoutexplorer2658 They all are Herbs.
@@tanith117 yeah. you know something is wrong with the show when it's call Hige Guardian SPICE. But all main characters are named after HERBS.
Interestingly, I like to compare High Guardian Spice with an actual good anime like Hunter x Hunter because Hunter x Hunter has a similar plot as High Guardian Spice, but done right. Some similarities that I can think of that they both have is that the concept of Guardian and Hunter is pretty similar, Gon and Rosemary are training to become what they want to become so they can search for their lost parent, then there is also one of the episodes of HGS testing students in a certain type of test to see if they are worthy. Of course, from what I saw of both shows, the reason why Hunter x Hunter works while High Guardian Spice doesn’t are for the obvious reasons like the occupation of Hunter has been defined while Guardian didn’t. In the beginning of Hunter x Hunter, Gon tried to get his aunt to register him into the Hunter exam by proving to her he is capable and does it, while Rosemary was already accepted in the beginning. Then comparing the Hunters exam with Disorientation day, I think what makes the Hunters exam work is that it tries to test its candidates by putting them in grueling tests to measure the endurance of the students, while in High Guardian Spice, one of the teachers literally tries to kill her own students by feeding them poison and they must find a cure for it. Although the Hunters exam can kill the candidates, I think part of the reason why it works is that the exam starts off with a series of tests that are so difficult that anyone who isn’t prepared for being a hunter would give up. I’m sure there are others and I would like to hear what others have got to say.
On the side note, I saw this interesting video in which someone made an edit in which they replaced the original theme song in the opening with Hunter x Hunter’s opening “Departure” and the song somehow fits the opening more than the theme song
SHEESH!!!! this show seems to have many problems.....(HIIIIIGH Guardian Spice, I mean)
Departure is just a perfect song. Every anime OP would be better with Departure.
What makes the comparison even more interesting is that Hunter x Hunter also has a level of representation for 'genderqueer' characters without making it the only facet of their personalities.
(in my opinion) the best animated series this year (Arcane) had diverse characters, yet poeple talk about the story, art and music. Nobody talks about the diversity.
Arcane is aproved by critics and almost everybody who has seen it
It almost seems like… the diversity isnt the thing that makes story good
Diversity is also not a thing you can talk about.
It goes as deep as "Hey, did you know character X is [Trait]?" "Okay, cool."
And that's really it. Everyone already knows how sexualities work for example.
It does not make a character unique and therefore, does not make the show unique.
Plot progression is something you can talk about. It does make the show unique.
It forms the characters, makes their experiences unique and thus, makes them unique as well.
in a way though diversity DOES make stories better. Characters of different pasts and cultures each have something different to offer. If every character was the same and looked the same, stories would be incredibly boring.
High Guardian Spice succeeds at just one thing. It was the perfect inspiration for this video.
we do learn a lot from failure
@@icarue993 Tell that to Big Productions and the AAA game industry
@@gabrote42 That is assuming AAA companies are human. They are just money eating machines (made of human suffering)
@@icarue993 They may not be human but they have Personhood, and if they have the capacities given to them they should damn well be staffed by sapient, if not entirely rational, people
And at least The Animation is decent and isn't butt ugly looking like so many other poorly animated shows like Hammerman or garbage fire films like Where The Dead Go To Die or Anything made by Video Brenquelto.
I'll give it that at least.
Personal thoughts: It seems at the end of this quest for diversity and representation the result were simply uncanny Caricatures that mimic and ape human behavior. Well that's not to say all characters are not that but in this case it's a lot more obvious.
Represention as I understand is aimed to create empthy, this show is hilarious disservice to that end.
The only saving grace would have been to make it a kid's show, but even then Dora would still be leauges more "Representative" and enjoyable for the audience.
Moments like this is where I highlight how the entertainment industry these days simply doesn't look at precedent. AAA games release broken for years and people play them. Steven Universe does well then 3 shows do terribly.
I have my own theory. Woke-plague is just one symptom of a cultural and media crisis. In short, the creators have no ideas, so they change the appearance, but not the substance.
Therefore, the stories resemble fairy tales or films that were released half a century ago, only with a deliberately modern hero. A black trans woman will cause resentment and controversy among viewers and in the media, and as long as people discuss his identity, they will not notice how simple and boring the story is.
@@ahoramazda6864 - The existence of a black trans-woman isn't going to cause "resentment and controversy" amongst any viewers that actually matter. Because if someone with any emotional maturity doesn't like her, they'll just shrug their shoulders and acknowledge that the story just isn't for them. All that's left after that are autists.
The only part that matters is the execution of such a character. Which is something that HGS fails at demonstrably, to the point that gay and trans reviewers have resoundingly ripped it a new asshole.
@@CheshireCad, >The existence of a black trans-woman isn't going to cause "resentment and controversy" amongst any viewers that actually matter.
Are you implying that the woke crowd matters? Because as soon as such viewers will calmly relate to such a BS.
>Because if someone with any emotional maturity doesn't like her, they'll just shrug their shoulders and acknowledge that the story just isn't for them
But that's not how it works. Sexual minorities, instead of sticking to genres for their own kind, are taking over major franchises with the approval of leftist directors.
>The only part that matters is the execution of such a character
As history and real life show, deviants rarely become the main characters. An outsider is always an outsider because, imagine, sometimes people match the meaning of words.
A normal person just won't be able to suspend disbelief with such character.
@@ahoramazda6864 - Oh dear, I didn't realize I was violating your safe-space by mentioning that minorities exist. Next time, I'll be more respectful of your preferred lack of pronouns, and place a trigger-warning at the beginning of my comment.
So basically, no conflict, no story, no reason to watch. Gotcha.
I spend about 15 years working on my webcomic. I was an amateur, and made plenty of horrible mistakes, but I've learned from them. This isn't to say I'm great or even good right now. I'm better than I was back then.
It feels headscratching to see people write stories and create real animated shows that are worse than my first comics in high-school, but even see them deflect all criticism as hatred towards them.
... I'm not above criticism. I improved a lot in the time that I was ironing out the flaws of my comic. My comic ends its run with just a few people reading it, but they're happy, and they're glad they were there for the journey. Meanwhile "High Guardian Spice" will fade away, and even its supposed current fans will at best only remember "fighting the haters" rather than the actual show...
Give this man his own tv series already.
Your re-write reminded me of the first episode of the Little Witch Academia series (not the movies). LWA is pretty much HGS but actually a good anime. It even has some of the themes you mentioned, old magic vs new magic.
ik this is an old comment but i wanna say im so happy im not the only one who thought hgs sounds like lwa if it was bad loll
Art is supposed to reflect the human experience and not the desires of the artist.
Art can represent whatever the artist wants. But some things are not art that claim to be.
Kind of a false dichotomy to be honest but I agree with the general spirit, something made as a personal power fantasy and or prosthelytizing and little else will usually suck.
Art can still be a form to represent the artist's struggles and feelings, but when it appeals only to them it loses any appeal.
Art can be and represent anything, but yes, without expertise it become just a shit pile.
Art is technically whatever you want. But if you make it too personal and refuse to accomodate even a little when you show it to others, you can't expect them to understand it and connect with it (NARRATIVE*)
Someone mentioned there's hidden depht in the Caraway/Rosemary scene that makes it a bit endearing, given the creator's own story. But unless you *really* know about him and his life, all that is lost. No context, no build up, no hint to catch a reference, it makes the scene feel out of place and the audience feel like outsiders. And so we are only left with the confusion, akwardness, and pain of going through a badly written scene with odd dialogue.
Yes, that was very clever of him, but we don't get it, and it's not our fault because they didn't even try to explain it. Bad writers, bad.
"...A narrative nightmare that I personally found delight in. Why? Because I can now pull examples from something besides Last Jedi when referring to nightmare scenario writing decisions."
Brutal. Devistating. Hilarious.
I am glad that I didn’t waste the labor of watching the garbage heap that is HGS. As soon as I had heard that one line about old magic vs. new magic, in my head, every single one of my mage characters would have wanted to slap Sage on the mouth.
(And me now thinking that, I’m telling myself now that I should write my own anime.)
But yeah, it’s really hard to say if this could be fixed. I like your synopsis on HGS and what could’ve been done and your version is INFINITELY better. I would put money on Literature Devil’s version of HGS than what actually happened.
Same. The old vs new magic is basically their way of saying Liberalism better than Conservativism, despite the fact that is not what Liberalism is about.
It would have made more sense if the two magic schools were different but also still needed each other in some fashion or you shouldn't demonize the one you don't study but should still learn both methods, especially if you plan on making counterspells to the opposing school.
I've got mages and clerics and fighters alike who'd give her detention with extra homework. Absolutely baffling anyone thought this was passable, let alone a zinger.
And why is that? (For the first paragraph by the way.)
@@littlebabyman8494
To which of us are you asking? OP or the other guy with a paragraph response?
@@littlebabyman8494 Because you don’t bash the old just because the new is “just better.” I would imagine from a more competent writer, the dilemma between old and new magic would be an interesting idea to explore, showing the clash of the two magics, why the new is better than the old, and what the flaws of the two each are and how they compliment each other would work.
How Sage can just diss the ways of how her parents fundamentally learned mage and probably how she was taught; it comes off as just appealing to novelty fallacies at work- just because something is new, doesn’t mean it’s better. And getting a feel for how the writers of the show is handling progression, I sincerely doubt that any sort of comeuppance or humility will come of Sage’s throwaway line.
13:51 a good example would be…
Probably the original Cowboy Bebop, One Piece, MHA, and many others. We don’t always meet the whole cast from the first episode, chapter, volume, etc.,. That happens over the course of the ongoing story for most anime and manga.
I’m pretty sure I’ll get snickered at for being captain obvious but, for newcomers on this channel, it’s probably helpful
When looking at character introduction, Persona 5 actually does good with this. We’re introduced to the main 4 we need to complete a party (Wildcard, Bruiser, Healer, and Glass Cannon/debuffer) and then get new characters for each major dungeon, sometimes not even that. And the way we get those characters for the most part is pretty organic from a writing standpoint.
I suppose it could be fixed. Like fixing up a leaky wooden rowboat and turning it into a first-class luxury cruise ship
I would just aim for a serviceable kajak
XD
I think it can be fixed, with better written episodes and characters... And different designs, plot, a better title and if it's an entirely different show about literally something else...
Wow, plenty if words to say "it's p0op".
TO THE FANFIC MOBILE!
Am I the only one who wants to watch a full version of Literature Devil's High Guardian Spice?
What if the reason for rosemary waving her sword around like the idiot she is; rose got accepted in the school because her mother was highly respected by them, being the daughter of lavender, they thought that rosemary will have potential, so even when she fails the entrance exam she passes regardless, SO her main conflict will be everyone in the school comparing herself to her mother and saying how she's supposed to be so much better but instead she's a failure. Because of this, rosemary will be sad at first, questioning herself about her purpose, if she's just a shadow to her mother's image, but she'll be motivated and strive to prove them wrong, to become a better guardian that could be on par, or better than her mother. Just a thought though
LD is such a chad that while making his own book he’s fixing others stories free of charge
I've commented on several videos about what I think the series big issue is, and it comes down t the purpose of the words material. The words material was a comic strip created by Raye Rodregiaz to vent thier emotional frustrations with being transgender, at it's core it's not a vehicle for story telling with emotional expression but fr emotional expression that happens to have a vague story. It is at the core about telling not showing. This is best exemplified by Professor Caroway, a character who looks like Raye Rodregiaz, is voiced by Raye Rodregiaz and is transgender like Raye Rodregiaz. In espisode 3 Rose damaging her sword serves only as excuse to allow Caroway to explain transgenderism in manner you might explain to a child, it's there so the Audience can be spoken to like they are children who need educate in simps terms what transgender is. Also find it interesting how Rodregiaz is a trans-man and a weird of the show yet that first trailer says the writers are 100% female, not ackowlageing Rodregiaz's trans identity. In the end the show is amature production set in a generic fantasy world that is concerned more with emotional validation and surface level represention.
This explains
SO
MANY
THINGS
So not only is there a self insert which is an automatic negative (possible to pull off; just automatically making things harder to pull off), it's also based on essentially someone's first draft of blasting feelings onto paper.
@@kazikek2674 Yes pretty much. A lot and I mean a LOT of Web comics are started as a way for the author to work though personal feelings, or create a version of some media they like based around a self insert. As a result the plot is the secondary focus, now take a series were plot is second to the writer's personal issues, give it to mostly amateurs writers who have lots of personal politics they want to cover and good story becomes 3rd priority. This show is the result of politics first story telling. Of telling your audience what to feel instead of letting them feel in by the context of the story events.
@Hecantonchire s every one has biases, Everyone. The makers of this show have lots of biases and use it in thier story. The show wears it's biases on it's sleeve and that damages the story. Ramming your politics into a show with out any subtlety makes for a crummy show that fails at it's own message.
Ouch my writing on a tablet needs work. Autocorrect changes words I mistype into completely different ones I often forget to fix, cause you know it corrects it into a real word, but not nessicarily the one I wanted.
WHOOO! I've been WAITING for The Literature Devil to cover this! I personally think High Guardian Spice can be fixed with actual, passionate, and competent writers. But, I seriously can't wait for LD's opinion and explanations!
Who needs a story when you have arbitrary representation?
Who needs good writers when you can feel good about the demographics of the writers?
Who needs character development and conflict when you have characters who don't need to grow?
The audience needs that, for a reason to watch it. This "anime" is not written to be sold, it was written for the writers to watch it over and over, congratulating themselves about how they've finally done something for once in their lives.
I am reading a lot of webnovels, and characters that don't need to grow are quite common there. Still, that doesn't remove the conflict, it just describes the solution in higher detail instead to keep readers interested.
@@nati0598 Even in media with an OP-from-day-1 protagonist, "growth" can be more about them learning to use that power to achieve their goals in better ways, to overcome personal issues and flaws (being able to slaughter every living being on the world you inhabit doesn't make it easier to make a friend), or even just finding something that they *want* to protect with all their OPness
It's ironic. The show has spice in its name, yet it misses the spice of all storytelling: conflict. No conflict, no story! NO STORY, NO PEACE!
Turns a bit back towards fitting when, as pointed out by many, the majority of the characters aren't even named after spices, but herbs and other plants.
There's so little spice, in the names, in the characters themselves, and in the story.
@Marav Reviews HA!
In the words of Loki: "Easier to let it burn."
Best to abandon HGS and let it be dead and forgotten.
I found your channel through Dannphan's High Guardian Spice episode one review and this is my first video I've seen from you, but I've gotta say that I really like your content!
I'm an aspiring comic book artist/writer so videos like these help immensely to improve my own storytelling. I'll be sure to watch the rest of your content, keep up the amazing work!
And this video was not even a highlight. I prefer his Rey Is A Mary Sue videos
That's awesome! It's always nice when someone finds my videos helpful or beneficial in some way
@@LiteratureDevil I may not like your tone or some of the finer points but these are damn well made arguments and my second most used source videos (first being Overly Sarcastic Productions) for online arguments. I have to separate some of my points from yours but that's a small price to pay for having such well made analysis. Good job.
Holy shit. Kate Leth couldn't be anymore of a walking stereotype, my GOD.
Old magic is bad because it require work ethic, time, dedication, learning, and responsibility.
New magic is good because you just do it, and any thing you want happens with out learning, and responsibility.
I feel like you are kind of... using emotions to pitch your argument.
Old magic is old magic, new magic is new magic. True, old magic requires dedication, time and learning. But does that make it better? If I wanted to fart Bohemian Rapsody I would also need dedication and training. Does that make it worthwhile?
You can say new magic is easy, lazy. And you can also say new magic is efficient and quick.
I don't want to offend you, but that argument seemed like an old person yelling "Kids have it easy these days. Back in my day, we had to write with coal not these fancy pencils!"
I think acknowledging that both types of magic have their use and people who use magic may have their own preference is important.
you know what makes it even WORSE... new magic seems to be the cause of what destroying the planet/environment, that could have been a great plot hook, but this would put the writers in a very tight spot as they set themselves to run against their own ideology, given this yea probably there was one good writer around, but god sidelines and buried under the ones wanting to do fanfics ships and propaganda
A character's name can tell you so many things: one that sounds familiar, one that sounds foreign and cloaked in mystery, names with hidden meanings locked away by the barriers of language, symbology or subtle clues that only the most diligent fans will find out.
If almost all the characters are named like flowers, spices and food items that tells you a lot about the depth of the story.
As hard as HGS sucks, the part about themed naming is a bit unfair.
There's this Chinese classical novel called Flowers in the Mirror, whose main plot surrounds a mythical event during Wu Zetian's reign. Due to the Empress' caprice, a group of flower fairies acted rashly to please her, and thus received heavenly punishment to live as mortal girls. As a result, the twelve girls presented in the novel (scattered across a myriad of "barbarian" cultures that the protag visited throughout his voyage) all had flower-based names. It's one of my all-time favorites despite being relatively obscure in the anglosphere compared to Romance of the Three Kingdoms and the alike.
@@user-gb7ji6xy5d I think it still counts as having a name related to the setting they're in. Flower fairies having names of flowers follows up well. But in High Guardian Spice there's no coherent reason why.
@@elpretender1357 everyone in the show just really really likes cooking and gardening of course
Knock Off Griffith deserves worse than Real Griffith.
Three minutes in and I want you to do this to the new Powerpuff Girls (if it ever releases.)
LitDev: Explaining the structure of a story
Me, working on a similar type of story: WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN!
I am halfway into googling spice names and make some OCs to get something useful out of witnessing
High Spice Fell Down
Eh, don't even bother with those. Their names aren't spice names.
@@DonVigaDeFierro I KNOW
"CUMIN!"
The door is still locked!
"No, I didn't... please wait a moment... You get out here RIGHT NOW..."
XD
Sheesh, I already made Spice themed OC names way before this show even sees the light of day.
Tho at least the story they are in is interesting.
@@n-extrafries-surprise I don't even have to read it to know it is true
SHOT FIYERED!
XD
(GOOGLE IT ;D )
I would rewrite Aster to be more of a competitive friend (a friendly rival) towards Rosemary instead of a sexist. They both could've competed with each other. For example, who could be the first warrior to take down a monster faster, in which both of them would fail in their own ways, some pretty funny and wholesome stuff we could see between the 2 characters.
"Stories are lies we tell to highlight the truth" very big true
Do Sages' parents have names? My brain hurts as I'm trying to do a rewrite, and I'm tired of calling them Smom and Sdad.
Not as far as I know. They're just Sage's Mom and Sage's Dad lol
@@LiteratureDevil Dang it. Lol. Off to look at Spice and Herb lists then.
Curious, can I have permission to use some of the train scene in my rewrite and credit your channel? It may take me a while to even get up to that scene, since I'm focusing on the beginning of HGS, trying o write out a Day of a type of entrance exam or placement test, with some early interaction between the Sage and Rosemary with Caroway and a small dev Arc for Sage.
Every time he does something like this, somewhere around halfway through it I will think to myself: "this actually sounds really good, I'll have to check this out."
...
Then a couple seconds later I remember that I will never see this good I am hearing because he is fixing what is trash. And I am crushed by the realization. But I will still enjoy the story that the Devil is telling. Keep up the great work, my good sir! Can't wait for Doctor Alpha!
MLP: FiM, a children's show, has a first episode with a better and more emotionally mature story than the entirety of High Guardian Spice.
For starters they should get rid of any ideas that seem implausibly dumb like having a bedroom that can only be unlocked if both spouses hold hands or Rosemary chasing a chipmunk.
I would probably start it with it being stated that Rose and Sage are the daughters of two well known guardians and as such it’s expected that they will follow in their mothers’ footsteps. Rose is enthusiastic as she wants to find her mother, who has disappeared, while Sage is more uncertain due to conflict between herself and her mother over Sage recently being caught trying to use new magic. The two ride the train for a while but get off at a nearby town to get lunch but while they’re eating Rose’s locket gets stolen by the Trixxie and the two pursue it back to its nest. But when they move to retrieve the locket Thyme stops them, explaining that the Trixxie is an endangered species and as an apprentice ranger it’s her duty to protect it, this would cause a small battle between Rose, who wants the locket back and Thyme, who wants to protect the bird, while Sage tries to sketch out an array for a retrieval spell to get the locket back. While this is happening the locket would break. Rose would be angry at Thyme for stopping her, but Thyme would downplay the locket’s importance saying it’s just costume jewelry. Later when the girls reboard the train to continue their journey Rose would be angry that Thyme is getting onboard, showing that she also has been accepted as a guardian candidate and accuse her of not being worthy because she wasn’t willing to help someone in distress, but Thyme would say the birds are also part of the world and as such it’s her duty to protect them too. Rose would go off to sulk, looking at her broken locket and remembering her mother training her, meanwhile Sage would approach Thyme and explain that Rose’s mother had disappeared and that the locket was a keepsake from her. Thyme would still be angry, but in a way that makes it clear she now understands and accepts Rose’s feelings.
semi related but wait the door opens only when they BOTH hold hands?? what if I wanna sleep and my hubby/wifey wanna go out with the boys then what do I do?? sleep on the couch when it would've been so much easier to have a normal bedroom.
DM: throws plot hook at the party
Party: attempts to seduce fish they found in a river
I have a very imaginative mind and sometimes my mind goes off daydreaming. When you were telling the rewrite episode I was so focused that I forgot that you're talking about HGS... Bruh.
Yes please! Make this the actual pilot of the show. Not only can it work with the later episodes already created, but I also love the idea of a best friend becoming a potential enemy when a connection is established with the villains and they feel the need to become stronger by any means necessary. I really hope you help fix other episodes of the show since it really does need it.
I have to say, what amounts to a fanfiction summary of your alternate take of the IP sounds a hell of a lot more interesting than the actual show.
It’s videos like this that prove to me that even the worst possible stories (well, most of them) have at least some good ideas in them. However, it also proves to me that good ideas don’t make a story. It’s all about execution. A story with old ideas but flawless execution will always be better than a thought-provoking excuse for good writing.
Good catch on the difference between adulthood and maturity. Facing hardship creates character and eventually maturity as we understand it. Men and society at large already act to shield women from hardship. So when you take the most coddled women in that society and give them a job in the writer's room (they didn't earn it) you get their immaturity quite literally writ large.
Which if you've been paying attention is exactly what the person(s) responsible for hiring these infantile adults wanted to happen. They want a splinter culture that caters to this sort of immaturity and therein, creates a lasting want and need in that culture for an adult i.e. 'mommy and daddy' to relieve them of the burdens of their lives but more importantly, to shield them from the dangers of freedom and the obligations of personal responsibility. It creates people who want to be ruled, essentially.
Which is why this show is political in its very creation irrespective of the content of the show itself. It's also why these same people are attacking Western ethos in the form of its venerated characters. They know you have no gods or modern-day heroes to rally around, given you're much too cynical for that. So now they're removing even your fantasy heroes such that there is no ideal man to rally around nor to compare yourselves too. This makes gathering a social force to resist them nigh impossible. it's also why they were so terrified of Trump and populism/nationalism, since the latter represents a worship of country and culture and the former represents an American avatar of the latter.
There really are cool things happening right now but you wouldn't know that unless you assign intention to all the 'bad decisions' your leaders have been making for the last 50 years. Otherwise it just appears as a nebulous decline without direction albeit heading predictably to a singular outcome.
Now for TH-cam to block this post.
Screencapped before that happened!
XD
A lot of that post was interesting, and I agree with some of the points you make. I'd debate some of the others, mostly when it comes to assumptions about motivations, since I've actually debated the kind of people you're talking about.
But the last part of the third paragraph was laughably bad. Like, that is such a bad straw man of critics of the previous U.S. president and the movement he helmed. And a pretty bad steel man of that same president/movement.
they cant really destroy fantasy heros becase box sets. collectors. archives. and so on.
and no. you dont fuck up this bad UNLESS its intentional.
I personally dislike Trump because he's increasing political division in the US for his own gain, while doing nothing to change the quid-pro-quo status in Congress as he claims to work 'for the common man.' Not that he _can_ do much, but he sounds like the advertisers on TV; talk big, do little.
Nationalism is fine, China all the way, lmao.
24:46 it would be good too if the black cat summon 2 monsters, one small and onother big, the blonde guy rescues Rose because she is fronzen of fear and defeat easily the small one but is defeated by the big one for being cocky and overconfident.
Rose and sage defeat the big one and the blonde guy has envy to Rose, becoming rivals
Character 'traits' are just character information, sex, age, race, faction, gender, etc. Character 'personalities' are who they actually are and why we give a shit about them as a person. Traits affect personality, but are *not* personality.
*Making a trait a selling point is tokenization.*
The writers didn't make people. They made commodities.
Literature Devil was forced into watching this abomination thanks to donations, from his chat, lol.
“In order to be able to think, you have to risk being offensive.”
This
Right here
"Magus of the library" as an entire book dedicated to traveling to the library to begin the exam to enter. The journey is really good and knocks on into the exam.
This shit ant that
An idea for Old magic VS New magic
Old magic comes from ones own magic supply meaning it takes time to make it useable but can make stronger spells due to how finetuned the magic can be and it naturally having an affinity for spells that effect the caster (Healing, buffs, appearance changing, etc.)
New magic comes from the environment around you this allows for faster casting but are generally weaker, this would explain the rot that comes as a side effect, your talking magical energy from the plants and animals around you to cast your spell, so constant casting would lead to those side effects. This would make New magic unusable if your in a place where no magic besides your own is present, such as an anti magic field. This could lead to a portion of the bad guys attacking the school using one, which could make sage shine because of her being one of the few characters that is proficient in old magic (That we know about) and could change the school to include both old and new magic instead of just teaching new magic because it's just "better"
This isn't anywhere near thought out because I wrote this all in like 30 mins of thinking but I like to put my ideas out there
30:42
"Be Water, My Friend.
Empty your mind.
Be formless, shapeless, like water.
You put water into a cup, it becomes the cup.
You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle.
You put it into a teapot, it becomes the teapot.
Now water can flow or it can crash.
Be water, my friend."
- Brue Lee
This video needs to be shown to every young writer who's serious about becoming a professional.
I dont remember where i watched this critique but the reviewer made a quite hilarious remark on another of the biggest failures of the show is that the title doesnt makes any sense because most if not all of the characters are not named after spices but herbs and/or flowers and even showed a simple graphic showing the difference betwen them. This might sound like a little nitpick on the sea of flaws that the show has but it also shows that the creators didnt even bother to background check what they were making.
@Rellyali1987 Nope, herbs. I guess should have put the diference betwen herbs and spices. Herbs uses leaves, flowers or stems while spices uses seeds, fruits, roots or barks.
@@phyrexian_dude4645 And it doesn't get much better with the rest of the cast. "Anise" is yet another herb; "Mandrake" is a medicinal herb, as are "Aloe" and "Lavender"; "Olive" doesn't qualify as either herb or spice; "Redbud" is a type of tree that I don't even think has parts edible/useful to humans...
The only times they get it right are Caraway (the Raye Rodriguez self-insert) and Fennel (Rosemary's Dad).
Your rewrite was so much better and drew me into the story very effectively unlike the original that had wondering when the actual story would begin. Please continue as prefer your version over the bland original.
I won't even make the first episode this, but the second!
I would plant another ep before this, this one set in their home town.
Things planned would be:
- Rose's family talking/hinting about Rose, maybe her father gives her the locket and picture?
- introduction of Sage's mom and her dislike for new magic
- they get the acceptance letters for HGA
Rosemary, due to her relation to Lavender, which starts to plant self doubts if she can be a Guardian just because she is Lavender Jr.
Sage won't get her letter, yet. Let's say there is a dude from HGA who delivers them, he rests in the village. Only Rose got accepted.
Some monster attacks. Maybe send by Lavender to test Rose, but Sage is the one reacting. Sage saves the dude with her old magic who is impressed and gives her a letter (after sending a post bird/owl to HGA to recommend her).
Maybe he jabs at her using old magic, which plants her doubt of using old and not new, and makes her mom pissed.
Also, I would focus the series a bit stronger on Sage to make her equal with Rose.
I discovered your channel a few weeks ago from a friend, and I've now been binging them all and really soaking it in. It's such great work, and from the few hours I've watched of your content, I can't help but agree with pretty much every point.
It's been incredibly helpful for me too. I've stepped up my writing a lot because of you. And I've started an RPG game's script and more, and this has really helped me stay on track.
You've encouraged me a ton. Helping me see my strengths, boost my confidence, and recognize my flaws. So I really have to thank you for all this work you do!
Y E S. The time of reckoning is here.