Parenting Teens- 3 Keys for Dealing with Your Teenager’s Disrespectful Behavior
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 เม.ย. 2022
- Are you constantly battling with your teenager over simple tasks like having them clean their room, or do their homework, or get off their phone for more than 5 minutes? You ask them to do one tiny thing that they already should be doing, and they give you attitude and push back. You take away their phone and eventually they finally do what you ask, but the whole cycle repeats itself over and over.
If this sounds like you and your teenager, this video is definitely for you!
The first thing we as parents have to understand is where our teenager’s disrespect is really coming from. Disrespect equals disconnection and disconnection is the absence of the three elements that create connection, which are empathy, curiosity & vulnerability.
We have to ask ourselves what we are doing every day to nurture our heart-to-heart connection with our teen.
When you work on developing that heart-to-heart connection….which means that your teenager feels heard, seen and valued…..the disrespect will dissipate. It will no longer be an issue! Imagine that for a moment…..that’s exactly what you want, for there to be peace in your home, for your relationship with your teenager to be stronger, deeper, actually enjoyable, right?
This video gives you the 3 keys needed to build and foster your connection with your teenager.
CHECK OUT THE VIDEO HERE for processing your emotions the RIGHT way:
• The Most Important Too...
CHECK OUT THE VIDEO HERE for Empowering Questions to ask your teen:
• Connect & Communicate ...
CLICK ON THE LINK for tools and strategies for building an amazing relationship with your teenager:
mmjvkittelson.activehosted.co...
If you'd like to connect with me directly, please email me at coachm@shiftthespace.com - แนวปฏิบัติและการใช้ชีวิต
Sometimes, parents do everything they can right. This generation of children is very challenging due to numerous influences that are beyond their parents' control
This the comment I was looking for! God said each generation will become wicked and wiser. These lil ungrateful kids know what they doing, but once they realize it as a adult, parents no longer wanna deal!
I like this comment...yes parents are human and sometimes its just too much to figure out the right thing to do....i think this is where admitting when you hit a wall..and let the child also know that they have to be willing to participate in the parenting journey.
So true we have no power
Thank you! I wanted to say, really?! You try to connect with a teenager who can’t stand you, who repeatedly lets you know just how much they can’t wait to get out, and constantly fighting despite all your efforts to keep the peace, remain calm cool and collected as the adult and parent, and show me how genuine connection can happen. If a teenager doesn’t want to connect, they won’t. Plain and simple.
@@user-mi4ye5qd9wI'm going through this now, I see how this video can help tho. I will see if this works, I have their dad influencing them to, a narcissist. I will never like him for helping to turn them against me. So, I think I will try some more things. Yes, I know how this generation is, the world influence on them.
I try my best to be a good parent , I always talk with my son definitely had a connection however the disrespect is on 10000 and if I take his electronics the disrespect never stops so this can’t be all true , because these teens today are so disrespectful and shallow their love for you the parent is purely based on what you can do for them once that’s gone , nothing there but disrespect
You raised them. You shaped them. Look at yourself first.
The disrespect is your teen's way of trying to be seen and heard by you. They are craving more heart-to-heart connection with you. When they begin to feel like they're good enough in your eyes and feel like they are valued for who they are, not who you want them to be, you'll see the disrespect start to dissipate more and more.
I rase two kids, one is respectful, one is ignorant and ungrateful.
Every word is factual.
@@coachm-certifiedlifecoach-3622 I had a very beautiful heart-to-heart connection with my both daughters and they developed in completely different ways. The kids who distespect & hurt u, and they find it NORMAL to, know very well how much u love them, because u have always nurtured that. Sometimes i feel that, because she was taken for granted by others, she decided to do that with me. Does that make any sense to anyone here on this page, plz? I need help, i dont know what to do anymore...
I dont even have a child but my baby sister got me watching these parenting videos. 😭
Omg yes my sister is being so mean and disrespectful idk why now I’m watching these videos
Same here
Same for me I always try to make it up for her when she is mad I try to do activities with her but she is always rude n mean ,I know what she is passing by and I feel so bad and sorry for my older siblings and my parents
😊
😂 Good on you tho.
there is really a culture of rebellious difficult teenagers, no matter how you try to give your world to them, they constantly glued on their phones, social medias, influence by friends etc, hormonal, they do not see the sacrifices of their parents,
And there's a culture of martyr like parents like you, who blame their children for the parents feelings and decisions in life. "Boohoo! Look at me! I sacrificed sooo much!" That's not your childs doing. You decided to have kids - now grow up and learn to live with your emotions, without blaming others for your decisions in life.
I feel like these days , we parents have to beg for love and respect. All this thanks to all the freedom and ideas that society have allowed them to believe that nothing matters but themselves. With all these ideas they forget that parents deserve respect and understanding.
If you don't respect your children, then you don't deserve respect as a parent. Respect is earned.
@@HigoIndico if you’re angry at your parents take it out on them not strangers on the internet. You’re literally proving everyone right by responding to each comment like a spoiled brat. Text your parents stop projecting to strangers who don’t care anything about you.
@@minkxz8037 If you're angry at your children, then don't have any. There's lots of people who'd be greater suited for that job. Having kids is no obligation, it's a choice - and people are here moaning like they hate their children. They couldn't have any then, if they can't respect their children as being their own separate human beings. People in this comment section really have a sick way of seeing their kids as property, or less of a human being. You're just proving my point, of parents not deserving respect, if they're as egotistical and narcissistic as you. If you have any kids, give them away - they'll be happier somewhere else.
@@HigoIndico you sound out of touch with reality. It’s foolish to think becoming a parent automatically eliminates human feelings and emotions. Just like you’re venting due to some very clear issues in your own home, people of all ages have the right to vent their frustrations. Just like you do. Or only you can do that? Respect is a two way street parents and children should have mutual respect which should be taught, that part we can agree on. There’s a large percentage of teens mainly who bring outside influences into the home. Actually if I was to give my children away, it would be to make me happier because a miserable parent can’t raise happy children and you can’t help anyone if you can’t even help yourself. 99% of children would not be happier away from the parent(s) that have loved and raised them no matter how much they disagree and if I ever feel that some separation is best for everyone then that’s what I’ll do. Again, stop projecting, it appears as if your parents have really hurt you and I’m sorry for that but I understand and you have the right to vent just like everyone else. Right?
Whats up everyone my name is Jason and I am the guy who suggested that you upload this video I’m 15 years old and I actually requested that she upload this video I’ve seen guys my age get out of control and I just want parents to see this
One of the most disruptive things that has caused problems with teens in a family is the screen.
Yep
I’m losing (or have lost) the battle with my 15-year old over his phone. We supplied him with a phone which had cutoff times and protections built in. He simply ‘lost” that one and bought (or stole?) another burner phone and activated it for himself with money he was CashApp’d for Christmas. Money we didn’t even know he had. It’s so exhausting trying to set and enforce boundaries only to have them trampled over and snuck around. The kicker is he is this resourceful about the things he wants but acts entirely helpless when it comes to cleaning up after himself and helping around the house. Forget about school or studying. Zero interest or effort.
I believe phones/devices have corrupted normal teen behaviors across the globe...social isolation, lack of respect sp to their own parents, failing grades, chit chatting with people they have no clue about thinking those strangers are their besties etc etc
@@user-so7qi1lc8j spot on! My teen was put on probation and the rules said no phones or social media because the DJO was giving me what I asked for. My son's behavior was perfect!! Then he found where I'd hidden the phone and he was back to being a rebel again 🤦
My daughter will say “ stop arguing with me” and tries to interrupt me and shut me down when she knows I’m upset because she’s ignoring everything I say and not wanting to clean up after herself or do the basic things to help with the pets.I got so upset I stuttered and she mocked me for it which upset me even more. My marriage is terrible and my husband disrespects me which I’m guessing is where some of this comes from. I feel so stressed all the time.
It’s because kids feel entitled and it’s all about them. They need to learn to respect their parents like we respected ours when we were growing up.
Sometimes enough is enough. Let them experience life the hard way.
I'm at this point unfortunately 😭
This is exactly where I am with my teen right now
Sadly, this is where I'm finally at . It's extremely difficult
Sadly I’m thinking of boarding school but undecided but when I think about the cycle of disrespect my pre teen has to go 🤦🏾♀️
I’m so there with my 18 year old! God is going to have to show my son the hard way.
I left a negative comment here.. My child and I connected through this method. I came back to thank you and tell you this worked. ❤
😂😂😂😂😂
There’s two types of rebellion. Reasonable and non reasonable. Non reasonable rebellion is usually related to being cool
I believe phones/devices have corrupted normal teen behaviors across the globe...social isolation, lack of respect sp to their own parents, failing grades, chit chatting with people they have no clue about thinking those strangers are their besties etc etc
I couldn’t agree more. The cell phones and computer games are highly addictive. And teens do not have the adult coping skills of finding balance with them. These devices leave the teens, lethargic, and in an addicted daze. It renders them unable to do the simplest of tasks. They are not learning to be self motivated. Not to mention them being irritable and incredibly self-centered.
"Everybody is disrespectful until they get punched in the mouth"
_Mike Tyson_
😂😂😂
Its “everybody has a plan “🤣🤣😂 u funny
@@bonvivant3704 that's the idea 😉
We living in new era where kids ABUSE parents and no one speaks about it every one is thinking how to help teenager while parents are the victims!!!
I can agree I am a victim and no one believes me..
@@Nicole-kc8ll
I was thinking I’m going crazy but I couldn’t believe in it and then I thought how could I prove that I’m not crazy I bought a video camera at(it’s not expensive €60)home and everything changed and I proved that I’m not crazy!!!
And now The gaslighting and manipulation is less than before!
@@shaygold943 Oh..I believe you and decide to get cameras as well. That's all we have to prove our innocence.
@@Nicole-kc8ll I’m sure it will help and you are not alone in this terrible situation.
All the best and be strong🙏🙏🙏
Couldn't agree more. They know that they have too much protection so they're using that against us so they know what they're doing.
My daughter is sooo respectful towards me and her father and everyone else it’s definitely something I’m super proud of!
Then why are you here
@@robertpattinsonfan5658to flex lol
You're blessed
Relationships take TWO HUMANS…..if they don’t want to behave with morals and values then I’m not playing along….I’m removing myself from ANY abusive behaviour. Kids nowadays have too much coddling and no responsibility and accountability. How about they live a life without someone in their corner…and see how it is! Pretty simple….need to RESPECT THEIR ELDERS and society, even you lady, need to stop with these “strategies” and mind games, and start emphasizing what the TEENS should be doing. Society and schools are out of control and EVERYONE is afraid to put their foot down….support the ADULTS for once!!!!!!!
Well said, facts!
Good luck with that ☹️
I see exactly what u r talking about, I understand, I'm doing that in a way; I'm using the word of God, but I'm also hearing them out. The lies, and not looking within to see how they play a part in how we communicate is astounding 😮. I know what you mean. The devil has blinded their minds, this world, no real rules or anything. In my case their father is a narcissist, I had a lot of anger issues, but I explained to my kids, and I apologized, and i still showed them love, but they just try and bring up your past, or if you get mad and put rules in place "because of the things that they're doing" and the problems they cause" ,they have attitudes. as if they didn't play a part in it. 😢
So I understand, so I've been trying my hardest to get them to understand, I've been hearing them out, I've been apologizing, Because we all have some individual things that we do/did. misunderstandings happen, and vice versa. Everyone is overwhelmed. It's spiritual and it's harder these days, we must try and fight for balance ⚖️... They're going through it to, and yes I know they don't see, they need accountability, we have to slowly show them how to take it and go through it with love and patience....❤
EXACTLY HOW I FEEL. I really don't feel any support as an adult, it's always the child. Sometimes, I feel like I just want to be gone and stop being a parent. It's so lonely and I can't accept the disrespect anymore. It's hard to work, clean everything at home and then being disrespected. They are good to you when they want something but after that, returns to being mean again. It's really sad. ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
@@Jess_Daily_Life_ well you’re not alone….we are creating a generation of covert narcissists…..they need REALITY….not MORE manipulation. And principles, morals, virtues need to be discussed more…..it’s not that teens won’t have behaviour and actions that aren’t “acceptable”…..because they will, it’s part of their development, learning, and growing…..it’s that the ADULTS aren’t setting CLEAR boundaries and expectations….consequences to not acceptable behaviour. Kids are exposed to sooooooooo much online and with peers nowadays that the equal reaction would be being VERY clear in our teachings…..and having OTHER ADULTS back those up…..not MORE manipulation and mind games….WHAT exactly does that teach by example? Be a manipulator to get the result you want?
Nice. LOL.
First Nations teachings incorporate 7 main principles….love, respect, courage, wisdom, humility, honesty, and truth (authenticity/integrity). THAT is what our youth need as teachings/guidance….and SELF AWARENESS….not this garbage.
I'm here because I want to help my rebellious teenage brother. I am clueless about what to do and this video is really helpful. Thank you so much!!!! 🌷🌷🌷🌷
Great advice but it's not going to work with this generation of kids.😩
You can Try
@@gabriellamashiah3965 who said I didn't tried
At one time I felt like this too. The more I worked on myself, the better things became with my children. I didn’t start my healing journey until my kids were 14 and 12. They’re now 18 and 20. It’s hard but I promise there is hope.
@@adultingbydefaultyes 🙌🏽 me as well, thx for sharing because I'm going through it now, 🙏🏽
It's good mom advice for sure but Dad advice sometimes calls for an metaphorical ass whooping
None of this works if the teen only thinks of themselves they have no understanding of themselves. Being vulnurable with your kids or asking them coaching questions gives them anxiety. Love and care all you want some teens just want to see the world burn and they don't know why. You must set boundries and remove them from harmful places and behaviours. Allowing them to fail is not safe.
Yeh, my son would have mocked me, and in fact did mock me for asking for very small amount of consideration.
I've had this as well.
@@SusanaXpeace2u treat him the same way and call him a hypocrite.
My daughter would say like um yeah your scared so what do you think I care.
My daughter just told me to stop being her mother and to stop breathing.
Currently, my oldest daughter is 17 and is going to be 18 in March. She's trying to figure herself out and see who her true friends are. While doing so, she clinged on to a friend who now has become an unwelcome guest due to her choices. I have other children and can not have certain things around them. So, as soon as I told my oldest daughter, her friend was not welcomed now, she wanted to be with her 24/7 and try to protect her because she was kicked out of her home possibly. Now my daughter wants to try to stay with her at all times because she feels bad, which is putting a wedge in between us. She wants us to magically take her fifteen-year-old friend in which, by law, I can't. So now, because I won't do what she wants, she is upset. It's not our job to have our kids love us all the time it's our job to protect them. Some kids just need to grow up, and if they can't grow up and see the truth, then it's on them. Parents that truly try and do everything for the kids, like myself, try to keep searching for that answer to make them happy but in reality they need to make themselves happy and figure out what they truly want.
Thank you for me this is actually life changing advice
Yes, and to hear them out, just let them know you understand how they feel, and you want them to not be caught up into their friends so much that it hurts them, so, yes, you're worried, express that, they will do the opposite if you push to hard, but give them choices and let them know there's consequences.
I get you though I'm trying as well.
The problem Im having is that the kid SUDDENLY began this crap. There have been no observable changes in our family behavior, keeping the kids around and sharing things and interests. Within the last week, our older one has suddenly decided that even the most basic expectations are some sort of cruelty towards him.
teenagers have a undeveloped frontal cortex and mixing that with puberty equals them being edgy 24/7
Sorry. It’s deflecting their real issues I think. Teens are masters at deflecting and sometimes just being downright mean 😢
Hang in there❤
All of this happened to me. The more I did the worse she got and the disrespect got worse. Now she is 29 and it still is not better. She got the nerve to love my sister more than me. She said I was a friend my sister was a mom that is why she respected her. I went num. that hurt for years, but I just gave up. You can not make no one love you or change the way they feel. I wish she would have let me know this when she was young and had all these kids at my house every weekend and all summer with no money. I could have had a healthy checking account by now. Praying for y’all who is just starting out. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
oh… sorry to hear this 😢
That sucks to hear this but that just goes to show that kids respect strength and boundaries. A parent should never be their kid's friend when they're young. they can be friends when the child is an adult.
I’ve been taking care solo (custody and financially) of my 12 years old daughter for almost 2 years due to have moved abroad with her. She’s a narcissist and psychopath (very hard to admit it 😞). This year on Mother’s Day week we went shopping for groceries and I decided to buy my mother a card. We went to this corner of a vast amount of cards and I started reading some cards and she started flicking through some cards. I told her wasn’t going to look as it should be a surprise! She had the audacity to say that she’s looking for a card to send to her father! 😞
And no, I didn’t get a card or a hug on Mother’s Day!
😔😞
@@niviamaevawow 😢, the enemy is working hard on them, I just went through the same thing, I didn't get anything or a happy Mother's day.... They are being manipulated, pray that is what I'm doing. They really don't see, pastor Kevin la Ewing has videos on these situations. It's spiritual and it can be broken, have patience, it's really a deep connection you need, be vulnerable, help her to do it as well, this world has blinded their minds, the devil as well. But with God and his WORD, it can penetrate everything ❤
Much love 💟
@@niviamaevamy kids dad is the narcissist, so iny case you can understand, so I know how you're feeling. Try her lessons as well see if it helps a little. Ask her did anything ever happen.
This sounds like giving in to our teenagers and not hurting their feelings.😡. What about old fashioned parenting where kids did as they were told simply because it was the right thing to do?😭
Exactly I’m not giving into no mf teenager
right!
What part of what she said sounded like giving in to teenagers? Strange that you interpreted it that way
Yes encourage teens to never think for themselves such a great idea 🥰
Kids and people are stubborn. They have to learn hard lessons on their own. Had I listened to The wisdom from the book of “Proverbs” I’d be much better off today.
I agree with this. She makes so many great points.
Boundaries, consistency, bonding, making an effort to make sure they feel heard and safe, taking accountability as a parent, loving unconditionally (especially when theyre being jerks). They dont understand things now, but they will later.
I’m NOT the parent I’m My 14 Year old Brothers older brother and his Father figure. Our Dad died from an Overdose from Heroin when he was 18 months, and Since then I have been the only One in his life to teach him ANYTHING and lately the Disrespect has been off the charts. I Completely Understand the sense of Entitlement when He doesn’t get what he wants. Thanks for the Video, because I feel like I want to wack him.
Bless you for shouldering that responsibility AND seeking out good solutions!
It’s very difficult to build anything with someone who has been so bad for so long. Tried everything including doctors.
And you let God deal with it!
So true. As parent we also have feelings. Some times it feels like the teenagers hate you.
Basically what they are going threw and how they feel is more important than your life and the sacrifice and struggles as parents have endured so pacify them. No I'm good. Everyone has things there going threw even parents and I'm always down for a heart to heart. What if you have talked until your blue in the face over and over and the disrespect continues.
Yes...I'm good as well. I've work too hard as a single parent and down for a heart to heart as well but when children are refusing to take it in I think we all should consider mental health I have a son who is experiencing O.D.D and absolutely refuses any authority its time for the courts to step in on my case.
Those who don't experience this will never understand what us parents going through . Sometimes, no matter what you do it doesn't work for some kids. Take my mother for example, with me everyone see her as a great role mother because I'm the kid who's obeying the rule, but with my sister, it's a different story night and day. What nobody knows is that I chose who I want to be so even if there's no discipline or rules I would be just fine but having it in place helps to remind me. With my sister, nothing works so rules and other things goes out the window and I mean literally. She be doing what she wants and she would sneak out the window without being caught and I shared the same room. Since me being the oldest (by 2 years) I had to be the one who drove around and look for her in the middle of night since my mother doesn't drive. I'm trying very hard to understand today's teenagers and tried to work with my teenage son and even seek out helps for him but it's been very difficult. Until they walk on my shoes, people can judge all they want and I pray that they don't ever have to experience what I've experienced.
I am with you tried everything to the point he flat out told me I care less what you do I will just ignore you.
Praying for all the parents that are dealing with this situation. Friends, phones, and internet plays a big part as well in these children today. You try and discipline them you're going to jail..but when they do something crazy the justice system look at you like it's your fault..crazy world we're living in now. God bless you all
Yes, I get it. It's spiritual, they are baby narcissistic individuals... 😢. They have been mislead, blinded by this world and the devil became he runs it. This is why the word is needed, prayer, and repentance. Repeat his word, and have the punishment but please don't get too mad, try to hear them, we all are going through it. I know what y'all talking about, mines have a narcissist for a dad, his ways are rubbing off on them he has poisoned their minds against me. I did have anger issues so to the stress I had to deal with with him, I became a shell of myself.
Pastor Kevin la Ewing has videos on these situations. It's spiritual and they don't even see the lies, 😭 their ways, it's very hard. They will, just keep trying and listen to them, ignore what they say about you, if you know you did it, just say I didn't know you felt that way, I did try my best, some things we as parents don't get because of these new rules and laws the world has given us, but you're willing to start over, and you will get there with open discussions and heart to hearts, having honesty and turning to the word of God. ❤
I am 68 years old. Maybe the generations are different. In my day kids were not disrespectful to any adult. You didn't even THINK of cursing or disrespecting your parents! Sure, we didn't agree with some of the limit setting, but that could be discussed in a respectful manner and my parents always had a good reason for the rules.
There are so many current world things that make it so much harder sadly
As a parent of 4 children ages 15, 14, 12, and 10 i can tell you it's VERY VERY VERY difficult to parent. My 14 year old daughter has such an attitude and backtalking problem. I have tried everything from nice to aggression and nothing works UNTIL i discovered that most important thing to do is PRAY. See God teaches us to give Him our worries, and that our children are His and we are just borrowing them. So i pour my heart out to Him and allow Him to work in my children especially my 14 y/o and it has changed everything for the better. I speak to her about God and speak to her with love. She is always quiet but i know she is listening and even though she may still act up at times i have learned that God has control over everything. Please teach your children about God and you yourself form a relationship with Him. You will see the difference when God is in the picture as the head of everything in your home.
Stay blessed 🙏🏻👍🏻💯 Brilliant comment
Totally agree ❤
🙏🙏🙏
Praised God 🙌 that's true. Nothing is impossible to our God
Thank you.
I just love how you say "deal"with your teens like it's a the worst to be a good mom
No, it's just hard.
As a parent of two boys and two girls, I agree with everything she said. This is how I raised my kids and never had them disrespect me; they are now all in their late 20s and 30s and still have respect for me and still will come to talk when they have an issue because they know I listen. And will not try to judge or solve their problems. I will make suggestions as to what I would do.
Another thing you forgot to mention is, I’m not saying always, but sometimes teenagers need a kick in the ass. Like if parents use all the methods that you have explained, and they just do not work at all on their teenager. Their teenager still continues to misbehave and act disrespectfully. Then what do you do at that point then I feel it is necessary to give them tough love and give them a kick in the ass. Because if it’s the only way they’re going to learn, then go for it or if it doesn’t work, and it just makes your teenager even worse. You’re out of luck, and there’s a possibility that your teenager may be a sociopath and it’s just unwilling to change. That’s where it’s gone to the point where your teenager is just far gone.
Fighting teen with phone,this phone.....he just steals it,takes it just to watch and download trash....his hard to come by with!
I read this awhile ago. We put our kids before ourselves. Devaluation of our own relationship as parents. They can't handle any responsibility. Kids are actually drunk with entitlement. It makes total sense.
From my experience, my children sometimes use my vulnerability and honesty to tally on a mental scorecard. Then they unearth this vulnerability later to cast judgement/be rude/disrespectful
My children do come to me, for the most part, about sensitive topics but lately they do so while shirking simple basic chores and at times, a few of them make back-handed rude comments. A couple of my children are intermittently cold to me. I’m sick of it and it’s hurtful.
My kids, for the most part, are good kids but the defiance and oppositional behavior is infuriating, frustrating, exhausting and emotionally debilitating
More empathy, more credit towards parents and less one-size-fits-all advice from experts would be a groundbreaking and refreshing change.
Yes to this ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
Our situation is a bit different. I have legal custody of my cousin's 15 year old daughter. She was removed from her father's care because he was neglectful & mentally unable to meet her needs. I've already raised my two kids. They're confident, happy, productive adults now. I'm not bragging here; their teenage years were a struggle. My cousin's daughter (I'll call her Rose, for confidential purposes.) wasn't abused, but she was neglected & experienced other trauma in her life, and she has learned coping skills that most 15 year olds haven't had to deal with. I'm aware of this & have nothing but compassion & love for her circumstances. She's family. But she's also very defiant, passive/aggressive, & retaliates against my elderly mom, who lives here & our pets. I won't detail these incidents; but they're very troubling. My approach is coming from a place of love, but I don't coddle & enable anyone. I'm sensitive but firm, I listen, don't judge & try not to give advice. I know when to be sensitive to her situation & when to back off; at least I thought so. Rose has issues with personal hygiene, drinking, shoplifting, cutting herself & as I said, she's defiant, agrees to do things but ignore me & does as she pleases, which is just the tip of the iceberg.. I'm struggling; I feel defeated & depleted most days. I'm close to giving up, but she will be removed from our home if I admit this to her "kinship navigators", or DCS. Of course, they have her well being in mind, I get that, but they seem to encourage her victimhood, she seems to take advantage of it. I've tried to reach her. She's been here almost a year. I see my family falling apart around me, while she seems to do her own thing with impunity. I just had a confrontation with her & once again, she defied me. I'm fair. I'm pretty tough, too - I've been through a lot myself. So from my vantage point, I feel as if I'm old enough to know myself & my intentions. Your advice here might work for soft parents who have raised entitled children. My current situation is admittedly different. But I know that a soft, self-reflective approach might work with a few teens, but in my experience, teen-agers, especially troubled ones growing up today, require strong boundaries & consequences. They need to know that a strong, firm ADULT is in charge. That's called tough love. It requires patience & confidence. Currently, I see so many spoiled, entitled, unproductive kids, potential criminals, actually, because we've coddled them, out of fear & lack of responsibility. It's a huge disservice to society & those kids if we aren't honest about our motivation & our willingness to do the actual, hard work of parenting.
I really feel for u I was somewhere near where u are with ppl I'm no longer with.sometimes you can't help some ppl.Remember your own mantel health, and thatof your family.
Wow all these comments from parents. 😢 we really do our best. Like I said in my last comment sometimes enough is enough. Set rules, set boundaries, and act on it. Responsibility is a must. Having a job at 16 is a must.
Half way into the video and I had to stop to leave a comment.
THANK YOU!! Already I feel inspired
Whenever I try to connect to my teenager and am vulnerable, he just notes it and uses it against me. He also repeats manipulating statements you're encouraging like "you're toxic" or "you don't appreciate me" or "I don't like the way you're speaking to me". Any REAL parent of a teenager is laughing at this right now. Give your teenager tons of freedom and they go to friends houses with parents like this person telling them that his or her parents aren't connected to him or her. The old addage that advice is like an asshole and that everyone has one rings so true to me. Don't listen to this lady. You can't connect to a teenager because they're basically psychopaths. Do not be vulnerable to a psychopath. Do not tell them you made mistakes or try to get in touch with them. They will only make you feel like shit.
I think so too...
I'm definitely laughing... I'm like, does she even have a teenager!??
I don't have teenagers yet but these are great ways to connect and communicate with your children. Building trust and respect starts as soon as possible during parenthood. I think teens forget that we (adults) were once young and had the same thoughts and feelings. I agree, if you can relate to them a little, they will start to feel more understood. I think going out on walks helps to bubble up their bottled up feelings. Just walk and listen (no devices to distract). Then they might even see the solution to their issue. I remember feeling a stronger connection with family when just taking a good walk.
Not this generation of children
did u have anxiety? did u have betraying friends? did u have abusive and toxic parents? did u have teen depression? did u ever get exposed for somthing that is not true but they only exposed u to ruin ur reputation and it actully did ruin it so it stressed u more? did u get played with the boy u loved and thought u would be with him forever in life?
the answear is no this is another generation with agressive and no motivaion in life personality of teens..
@istheVillianHere I would say that apart from the toxic and abusive parents (which is specific to the household), every teen goes through these very difficult and painful situations (or ones much like them). It's hard to see that, though, when you're the teen currently going through it all. It can feel like you're being personally picked on by life. I'm sorry you're dealing with that and feeling alone in your suffering. It can feel overwhelming, especially if you don't feel you can really talk to anyone about it.
Please reach out to someone for help (especially if you don't have a safe place at home). Another thing that can make a world of difference (my two boys are learning this) is meditating daily. I know, it sounds so cliche, but it truly changes things because you suddenly start seeing things so differently and you have tools to cope with your strong emotions.
There are tons of guided meditations on TH-cam as well as breathwork videos and videos teaching you about mind science. It really truly helps SO MUCH to do this, and these are tools that once you learn, you'll have them for the rest of your life! And learning these things also helps you to have proper boundaries and changes your energy from being a victim to being empowered. And I say this from the POV of someone who had to learn this as well.
Sending you loving, healing energy ❤💫
thank you
@@mauritaschut8466
I had someone coming to my home for 4 months to work on the connection and the disrespect with no result.Only police intervention gets her back home Is this normal behaviour? I am completely lost as a single dad.
This has been really useful. My daughter just apologised when I talked through how she’d made me feel and why I was fearful. Thank you 🙏
You don’t have to read this, I just needed somewhere to vent. Sorry for replying here. If you do read it though I could maybe use some advice on what to do
The other day me (14) and my brother (16) bought sweaters since we’re on vacation (with my parents money, which I acknowledge and thank them for, to be clear). We only bought large and XL. Mine was the XL and my brothers was the large. But after that, my brother took my XL and wore it. I pointed it out to him, and he said he’ll give it back tomorrow. I just shrugged it off like no big deal. But today when I asked him to switch, he said in a rude tone: “this one’s my style” and then slammed the door right in my face. It hurt. He’s usually like this but this is my first time I’ve experienced it. I texted him and said “Selfish.” in an attempt for him to not only stop being selfish and entitled to me but also to my parents. I obviously didn’t expect it to work, but I hoped he’d think about it. And I’m also a little overweight AND the same height as him, whereas he’s fit (I didn’t even fit the large, but he did). Then, he told my mom what I had said without giving the whole story. My mom got mad at me and gave me a lecture about how he’s my brother and I should be kind to him. I told her what he had did, and she just said “Oh ok I’ll talk to him”. It was left at that, but I felt pretty guilty and apologized to him (I even said not to tell our parents so he knew it was from the heart). But then tonight I snook my moms phone so I could see everything he said about me (I know it’s wrong but I couldnt help it). He said, and I quote (my brother to my mom) “Look at what you did. Now I got (ME) telling me I’m selfish. Thanks a lot”. She spent $60 on those sweaters and all he does is FUCKING COMPLAIN. I’m completely over it. I originally gave the sweater back to him, but I’m taking it back and unsending my apology. I’m not even looking at him tomorrow. I just needed somewhere to vent, sorry for replying here. By the way, I refused the sweaters at first. I don’t like spending my parents hard earned money on myself, it feels wrong. But of course my brother made my mom buy him one and then my mom being kind made me get one too.
And even the other day, we’re in an airbnb with 3 beds (1 couch, 1 bed in attic, 1 bedroom). My dads a respectable guy so he took the uncomfortable couch. I let my mom have the bed in the attic, she deserves it. My brother of course immediately took the room. Guess where I am? The floor. Yep. My brother is in the comfortable room and I’m on the fucking floor. I have no room to complain since I volunteered and I also refuse whenever my parents offer me their spots, but my brother isn’t even aware that I’m sleeping on the floor for his comfort!? Im over it. Im pissed off. Again sorry about this I just needed somewhere to say it. I can’t even sleep I’m so pissed off at that idiot.
@@mcj44mustve been hard for u. i hope you are well now. i can sense a strong empathy from u that u r choosing to extend… and for that, know that a stranger is proud of u ❤
@mcj44 This too shall pass. Just remember...this is a stage you both are going through. Hormonal for sure. Hang in there. Teenage years are hard...but once your on the other side...it will be much better, and you will truly appreciate each other living separate lives. The best is yet to come. You will see :) there is hope! ❤
You can love them with all your heart, as long as they have peers around them in their ear, the disrespect won't go away. You have to take away the cause, in order to change the effect. Parenting is only half if it. Culture plays its own part.
As far as stop giving them advice, this is probably the worst a parent can get. Empowering a teenager only feeds their egos. Their needs are met, IFFF they have a roof over their head, close on their, food and water in thier bellies and they are loved. Anything else is just desires, not needs. This progressive parenting is what breeds a stronger rebellious culture, that only spreads when are teenagers are together away from their parents.
This is why every generation is worse than the last.
Exactly! when they are together and away from their parents they get worse
Grateful for finding this video, I think I will rewatch it & look into the other videos suggested. Today was a hard day for me as a mom however I am grateful for holding my composure & looking to improve my relationship
Thank you. This is the first parenting video I've watched on parenting. I have been proud of my parenting for the past 12 years. Now i need insight and guidance.
Thank you for this, I really need this kind of advise. Because I don't want to prolong our gap and make it worst for both of I and my daughter. ❤ It really helps to understand them and know what to do.
Talking with many people and their experiences doesn't just fall on that particular teen. It is an adolescent phase to challenge boundaries.
What has happened with the gentle parenting movement is parents are the first to blame in what's going wrong. Instead of the adolescent being corrected and the parent supported through other resources, instead the resources side with teen. Society has placed parents in the backseat of parenting. Teachers have been left on the curb, while the adolescents screams at us that we are being unfair for parenting.
Everyone is a winner and no child left behind has set the bar low for these kids when it comes to learning accountability.
Oh I love the heartfelt fear talk... that's so important
... and the boundary expectation. That models what they should do too.
😢❤ I wish I had these tips when I was a teen
I am a Christian mom and fully aware that words have power, my 14 years old daughter is so difficult to raise. I find myself angry to a point of cursing her with words like " you are so stupid " etc... all this gives me sleepless nights but no matter how hard I try it just gets worse. She is so stubborn and always wants to do things her way
You're not following scriptural doctrine. She is not an extension of you. She is going to grow and leave one day. Also, you shouldn't make her fear for your acceptance. You should fear God and she will see that as the example. Honor thy father and mother means to weigh heavily on what parents say, it doesn't always mean the children will understand or obey... And you shouldn't lead her to anger... It's clearly stated in scripture to not lead your children to anger.
I feel you. God bless you. We can't give up.
I understand as a Christian it's even more difficult. Your not alone❤️
@@axiomaticidioms3857 the woman is venting leave her alone man. Your not perfect. Have compassion. You can follow scripture all you want but if you don't have a relationship one to one with Jesus forget it. That has nothing to do with her venting.
@@lulululu13 reading scripture is having a relationship with Jesus... Not leaning on your own understanding. Do you hate the word?
I watched this because I constantly see my parents struggle with my younger brother. I think that this generation of kids is just disrespectful and ungrateful overall. My parents are terrific parents. They've always taught me and my siblings the importance of being respectful, responsible, and encourage us to follow our dreams and career goals. I know teenage years are tough and awkward. I was there, too. That's no excuse to disrespect your parents like that, though. All this sounds like we should just give in and let them do whatever they want to avoid hurting their feelings. This generation is doomed. I see them, and it really makes me think twice about having kids of my own.
I'm going thru hell with mine!
I totally agree with this, kids these days are so disrespectful, no matter what you do, no matter what adjustments you do. No matter how calm you talk to them to get their points of view. But this doesnt all work! They keep repeating the attitudes over and over. They won’t listen!
@Joyce Cachapero disconnect is the major cause that lead everything else. Most parents believe that because I'm a parent I'm connected with my kids. I take care of them. That's the furthest thing from the reality. Parents operate from a chore or responsibility mindset and forget the actual bonding that needs to take place in order to connect with your kids. It's no different than how people connect with each other. It's not a responsibility so if I really want to connect to another human being I approach it from a vulnerable standpoint and it's an everyday effort to build and establish a bond. Be their friend
@@AB-KB8 all my daughter says is me me me I agree they want everything to be about them and they disrespect I think more to us parents because we are there mom just sad they don't see us as a privilege to have my parents were dead by the time I was 15 this new generation will never learn life properly..
I miss the days when not every single TH-cam content creator reminded every youtube viewer how to subscribe and like and comment on their videos. But anyway, thanx for the parenting advice. That's what I wanted to learn about.
Really great information, especially your examples. Thank you.
Thank you soo much for your advise. I'm sure I will becare full for listening to my parents
I agree that that in some situations this may work or some variation of this may work. However, kids are all individuals as are we. So the cookie cutter approach may not work.
I agree with you, talk to them heart to heart is the key. My youngest son is now turning 13 and I am really thankful that I managed to put boundaries between us in a healthy way. I always tell him that I love him, kiss him and I say I am not so happy if he uses his ipad or phone too much. I remind him that those gadgets are tools to make our lives better but to overuse them is not good, It´s a Virtual reality. Parents must put more efforts to talk to their Teenagers, Go out with them and do outdoor stuff. Find time for them. TRUST them, LISTEN to them when they try to talk to you about something, Learn a little bit of the things that interest them most ONLINE so you can catch up with their thoughts and their reality. Good luck to all parents.
"Spare the rod, spoil the child". Now this does not mean beat your kids . It has a very strong message .
It totally does mean corporal punishment. The bible is rife with corporal punishment. Sometimes the consequences are just not stiff enough and that is why children sometimes do anything. The administration of stiff consequences will cause a shift in behavior.
Recently, a young man in Florida killed his Mother. He stabbed her 70 times. When asked why, he did not have a reason other than she got on his nerves. He said she was a good and loving Mother. He was only 21 and in college. He was her youngest child.
This clip is the best! I use these tips actively and they have made an incredible difference with my 16 year old. Thank you!
Wow! These are really great tips! I am glad I found this video. Thank you so much! ❤️❤️❤️
Why do parents have to be the one to make the first step? Why do parents have to be the ones that make all the effort? I put myself out there and i just get hurt all the time but I’m the one that has to work on the relationship? That’s bs
Totally bs! They are disrespectful and I should not have to kiss their azz to "get along" with me.
PS -- Stop telling them what to do . . . yeah this video is BS too.
That video only works for some not all. It's unfair for people to be so quick to judge the parents when they don't understand what goes on behind closed door. Kids are their own individuals not cookies cutter so we have to find what works for them and I'm still searching. Some are easier to deal with and some are difficult and I pray for those parents who are struggling.
You're the adult
You are a godsend!!! Amazing video and greatly appreciated
The disrespect I'm currently going tru is at an all time highest. My daughter is not even scared of the consequences. Sadly it all started when I put in for divorce and her mom constantly brain washers her. That's the worst part.
Keep praying and do not give up. You know how much you love her. Eventually she will see that and she will see the devious games being played by other parent.
Tolerate some things. Let them go. Do not tolerate disrespect or a line to be crossed.
Don't fall in to the trap of blaming her mother. My x does that. He doesn't help himself long term. Teens will eventually come out the other side but if you "dog their mother" they will remember that. My daughter was not brainwashed. I was naive enough to try and move in to co-parenting, but my x gets angry with me if the kids ignore him. They ignore me too and I live in the same house. Have the maturity to think the best of everybody and wait. I (now) have a good relationship with my eldest. My youngest, aye por Dios. 😢
@@SusanaXpeace2usame here. 100% true
This hit home…my ex cheated and left the kids to me when my son was 10, and my daughter was 7. My ex mother in law stepped in to help me while her daughter did her thing and her entire family urged me to file for abandonment and take full custody of the kids. She came back and decided she wanted to be in the kids life and I made a lousy decision by allowing 50/50 custody. I didn’t want them to be without their mom, and end up resenting me for not allowing her to spend time with them. Selfish, but I thought it was the best thing for them. My son is now 16, daughter is 13 and I’m now finding out that my ex has been doing cruel things to my son for years. She seems to have preferential treatment towards my daughter. He’s now at risk of not graduating HS now and blames many things on mom, but I’ve never tried to bad mouth her because I didn’t want them to have a forced opinion of their mother. I’m at a loss because I see that I’ve always been too soft and allowed things that I shouldn’t have when he was doing poorly in school like letting him go to the movies, taking trips to Disney, six flags, buying things for them, etc. Now I’m taking his things to try and correct behavior and he gets angry, rude, and disrespectful and especially with my girlfriend who he says he sees is trying to be a good parent, but he blatantly says that he doesn’t like to be told what to do, so she gets the worst of it. She sometimes has a hard time letting him be heard, but his reasoning tends to be very immature. He says he wants us to get off his case and says if we had done that by now, he would’ve had better grades by now, but continues to ditch, get high, and not do his work. I’m at a loss for what to do and have tried to sign him up for Therapy, but he believes he doesn’t need it because he talks to me, but he doesn’t tell me everything and I find it difficult to remain unbiased when he talks about his mom. I just don’t know what to do anymore as he continues to rebel.
As a mum with kids from ex...even one of mine hates me just for not being the perfect wife and "makeing dad leave" but he left after saying he never lovded me from the start and just took 13 years a marriage and 2 kids later to tell me..but apparently it's all my fault.
soeaking of connection, hundred percent but the thing is they dont want connection.. with social media around and influence from others esp at school.. oh no thst is very hard!
Kids have been trying this garbage for hundreds of years. It is a matter of discipline, consistent boundaries, mutual respect, and consequences for their actions and words..
Trying to decide what are the reasonable consequences?
@clarissaidonthateonmonday178 first step, never solve a problem in the moment. Let the dust settle. Consequences are not revenge. They can be as simple as a conversation. "Yesterday, you said this ..... and it made me feel ...." or at its extreme losing a privilege.
Dealing with extreme teenagers is less about managing their behaviour and more about managing your responses. Your job is to provide food, water, a place to sleep, access to education, and not physically or emotionally abuse them. Everything else is a privilege that you have to work hard to provide, so they need to work to earn. Perhaps a ride to the mall costs a load of folded washing or two loads of dishes, or access to wifi costs, eating dinner at the table, and clearing the dishes.
@@AR-fh2uh sounds like good advice. Thanks!
@JMarie-th8xe the only advice that I would give is don't do anything that you will be ashamed of. This is the behaviour that they will emulate at the heat of the moment... and guess what, you set the standard. It is also what they will hold against you. You want to get to the end with a well-adjusted adult who respects you for never giving up on them and staying calm and in control. Every other issue is a temporary deviation on that journey.
Ok so I played the video all the way through and even replayed it just so I could make a clear review. You talk through the key points without actually getting to the point or say hey click here to another video so that one can follow down the rabbit hole. Although I think your intentions are helpful I would recommend making one video on this subject in length. Thank you!
You’re a godsend thank you for these tips!! I feel like this video was made just for me. 😟
My son he crossed the line. The words he says won’t ever be the same.
The more disrespect you see from your son, the more he is feeling as though you don't value and truly see him for who he is. Teenagers rarely have the communication skills and emotional vocabulary to fully express how they are feeling in a healthy way. Their disrespect is their way of communicating the hurt, frustration, and pain they are feeling from you.
I’m so sorry. Hugs, from a Mom in the same situation.
I feel the same way.
Kick him out and let's focus on us. What's your IG?
@@jackjack4412 Do you need a man in your life?
This is seriously the most enlightening video I’ve watched and actually feel like I have a new plan that will help!
I have 3: teenagers,a 17 year old,16 year old and 13.5year old. It's one hell of a business. Disrespect towards me is the order of the day. Nothing gets done not even spreading their own bed.
Same
I don't agree with this chick in video. You have to be a badass sometimes, and they need to be a little afraid. You can go a few years without their outward "love," you should never go without respect.
Love this …welldone coach M❤
This is so good. Thank you
I despair, I love her so much, she is 13 and buys drugs, I'm so sad. She is missing school, I am always kind and loving ,I am here for her. I have done all of these and nothing works ,she tells me she resents me.
I have 2 teenage girls which are my youngest all i have got to say teenagers will be teenagers they are lucky i have been able to look after them in veiw of the situation.They have turned out good compared to other children and i say this whenever i can.God gives and takes for a reason,he is innfinate wisdom and even if u dont like his descisions hh knows best.❤
The only thing that works is what we did in the old days...this new parenting ain't working ..look outside, look at social media, look at America..it's funny they don't want the parent to physically discipline the child when they don't listen but a cop can..when they go to prison they will..and we're the ones that love them ..birth them ..take care of them ..and will die for them..just look where we're at in America... honestly look where we're at in 2023 compared to 1970 1980
Thank you!!
Sometimes when we talk, we’re angry, frustrated etc and they can hear and feel that, then match our energy lol
These comments and discussions are awesome. Thank you e everyone.
This made me cry 😢 I’m autistic and have the mind of a 16 year old even though I’m 34 and living with my parents. I realized my parents are good people and aren’t toxic. They do all this. They’re always telling me think for myself and to stop asking others what I should do. I thought asking for advice was ok when it isn’t. I didn’t understand why they told me it was wrong I go to others for advice because I’m a Christian and the Bible says to share burdens with each other and to seek wise council. I’m still confused though. Are you saying not to ask for advice or is it a grey area?
There's nothing wrong with asking advice of someone who bears good fruit.
Im pretty sure its hopeless i don’t have much for feelings to many years of abuse made me hard like a rock. There’s no hope 😢
Thank you!!!
Thank you so much
It takes five seconds to look this stuff up and there's tons of information on the internet regarding how to PROPERLY deal with your kid's disrespectful behavior yet my mother doesn't even try. I am 17 and hell, i was never allowed to go out with friends, have fun with people my age, go anywhere really, had zero freedom of expression unless i was expressing myself exactly how she wanted me to. And let me tell you, i'd be anybody's dream child. I can't share any of my happiness or my sadness with her because it will be used against me, she knows nothing about the shows i watch, bands i like, people i know because she uses them against me. Threw away my books, I'd come home to constant yelling and screaming every day for 4 years, and then she has the audacity to call me "disrespectful" when she has stepped all over me for years. I almost killed myself bc of her, but i guess i will always be the disrespectful kid in her eyes.
"Parents aren't born knowing how to parent." Genuinely some parents need to accept the fact that they did a shitty job parenting their kids, because i was taught to apologize for everything i've ever done which angered my mother but she has NEVER had to apologize for hurting me. All of those sleepless nights crying for hours because of her and well, i was just a teenager right? Teenagers do stupid things, their brains aren't developed enough, they're probably exaggerating their worries and concerns because of hormonal imbalances. Yes, teenage me deserved everything that happened to her because she was being "taught a lesson."
How can you hear, see, and value your teenager when they constructed their entire personality on being totally free to do anything, anytime, and delusional / defensive to the point where they perform little work and blame the entire world for not being good enough to support them to be free to do anything, anytime? They're either an emperor or a victim. How do you connect to that?
Ugh when u find out let me know
Thankyou so much for this it's so hard to try to figure what your doing wrong and only yesterday I thought what are some of these and hate to say it successful parents getting right? Why isit they have this connected relationship and what is the secret? When you haven't been shown yourself it's hard to figure what it is your doing. And childhood trauma is huge part!
Thanks excellent video ❤
My mom treats me saying no as if the world is over…99% of the time I say no it’s because I’m busy. Saying no is not disrespectful and if you think you can push your kids boundaries then you’re gonna be in for a nasty surprise. No means no, I’ll do it later means I will do it later, give me a break means your doing too much leave me alone until I’m calm again. Your teens can love you and still yell at you because you are violating boundaries. The best way to love your teens is to respect the rules of their person.
This made me cry
Oh my God, this lady can't be the parent of a teenager. I'm online looking for advice and this was the first video that came up and less than 5 min, the advice given is so ineffective. For me at least it is. I have a teenager that is an honor roll student and is active in school activities, etc. But they've suddenly started acting out after becoming friends with someone who's a negative influence. Before this person emerged, my kiddo and I had so many heart to heart conversations, family game and movie nights, etc. We've always been very close. I work very hard at being a good parent, and yet here I am dealing with a kid that is suddenly a stranger to me being so disrespectful that even my mom was shocked that her grandchild was behaving so terribly. I'm at such a loss right now... time to keep looking for other advice, because this isn't it.
I've done everything possible to understand my teenage son. He's gay and has a lot of emotional issues. I've been supportive and held him when he's cried to me about all aspects of his life. Wish my father would've been like me.
We've gone to therapy and the therapist said in his 40 year practice he's never heard of any child doing and saying the things my son says and does to me. My son refuses to take responsibility for anything he does.
My wife has spoiled him rotten and takes his side. The family therapist has told her she's done just about everything a wife/mother can do wrong in raising a child and being a wife.
I filed for divorce and now she wants to work on the marriage, though her behavior hasn't changed.
Work on it. Put God first, and work on it.
No matter what conversation you have with your teen about going to party they will do what they are forced to do by their peers. My son is entitled. Asked to clean his room he tells me no that it's my house I should clean it. No matter what I do he says it's wrong and I'm not in touch with 2023. Asked to help with anything he says NO. But he wants to be taken to places, he wants expensive things. I am over it. He is not going anywhere until he changes his attitude. I have successfully raised two already.
My daughter she is giving me a hard time she is always in her room and giving me bad attitude I’m trying my best to be a good mom I’m trying to get closer to her and more & more …
It’s important that teenagers find inspiration in their lives. They need to read philosophy, self-help books, motivational books, etc. worse if they have a problem/issue already going on. Those kind of thoughts and values from those books will make them be good people, give them a purpose in life, a motivation, instead of just surviving the day to day, they’ll be able to identify the right or wrong, have a sense of fulfillment, striving for excellence, etc.
Good video, however I can see why many folks would respectfully disagree with certain points. Boundaries and Principles can't be overlooked for ANYONE
Thank's so much mija
2:15 "disrespect will no longer exist at all." In my opinion, please be careful issuing such absolutes. You are placing the onus entirely on how the parent acts such that the moment there is ANY disrespect from the teen, the parent NECESSARILY thinks its something he/she (the parent) did wrong. This can set up an environment wherein the parent is walking on eggshells, constantly on guard to not make a mistake, which the teen may sense and use to his/her advantage. A lot of what you say is probably true, but teenagers are, for lack of a better word, unstable to such an extent that even 'perfect parenting' wont yield 100% respectful teens.
I'm soooooo co fused about the tip on not telling the kids what to do!!!! Idk if she has kids but that is NOT going to fly in my house. Ima a mom and a Therapeutic foster mom and the kids I have. Have to told showed and walked thru what to do DAILY!!!!
Thank u so much this help alot I have 4 girls am Shruggling with it a battle an none of they father not in they life or grandmama it just me just trying to keep them on the rigth track
The appeasement one…. When my teen was much younger so much of the parenting advice going around was “Say yes as often as you can so they don’t feel like you always say no” and “Don’t say no, redirect”, etc. I never believed in never saying no, but I tried so hard to say “Yes” to things as often as I could, even when it was extremely inconvenient for me. And now, here we are at 14 with entitlement issues- go figure. Wish this was the type of advice I was getting a decade ago.
ETA- Your very next point seems to totally contradict this one though, so now I don’t know what to make of this. Perhaps I’m misunderstanding what you’re saying.
My 16 year old son is a foul tempered malignant narcissist. He treats me, his mother like 🐶💩. When he turns 18, I'm moving house, legally changing my name, and going no contact.
Help! My 15 yr old is completely out of control. She's hitting me when I ask for the phone
I have custody of my three kids, they visit their mom every other weekend. My two olders are 16 and 13, they are so disrespectful and think my house is hell and wants to live with their mom because i restrict and ground them when they act out. I do not let them stay on their phones and games all day. My second oldest is addicted to phones and game. When they visit their mom, she lets him stay on an xbox from when he wake up till 3 or 4am. So he think my house is hell
My daughter is 13 years old and we have always been really close and able to share our feelings thoughts and vulnerabilities. So much that she calls me her best friend still to this day. (Maybe that’s our issue) We have long, deep conversations that come from the heart. She feels heard and loved. She expresses to her friends that she has a close relationship with her mother. But she still does these teenager things you talk about! She has chores and is paid for them if she does them. I am to the point where if she doesn’t do her chores I do not remind her so she does not get paid. Therefore, she does not get to do the things she wants to do or buy the things she wants to buy. This does not seem to bother her! Do you know why? Because me and her dad are divorced, and he loves with expensive items. She broke her phone because she was being irresponsible and guess what, he bought her one the very next day. I don’t feel like I’m fighting only with her. I feel like I’m fighting with the upbringings she gets from her father’s house, 50% of the time. Over there it’s like they follow her and pick up things after her and then praise her. This is certainly not for her benefit and it is not working for me. As far as talking to her father, and his girlfriend about this, that is not on the table. Because I have been told what goes on at my house is my business and what goes on at your house is your business. She is his trophy and believes she is the extension of him.
Exactly what I faced, you set all these boundaries but outside the house your parenting is belittled and there's a break down of communication with other adults who don't always want to work together to raise this child. It takes a village to raise a child if you are alone then there is eventually going to be issues.
Well, you control privileges in your house. If she isn't being respectful or cooperative, a consequence in your home could be change the wifi password and block her access to it. You could set schedule to wifi and require her to earn wifi access by completing simple tasks.
You can do that bc you pay for that service in your home, so you manage it.
As for her phone, don't pay for her data plan. Have her be responsible for paying for her phone with her allowance money, so she will need to work for it.