Thanks guys I appreciate your comments. I don’t want to resort to spells... my self-worth means more to me than any relationship that wasn’t mine to begin with, because they men I attract wouldn’t treat me like an option. Sometimes you see the best in someone & trust that they already they see you in the same light. You don’t have control of anyone. I don’t need to manipulate to have a relationship, if I had to that then I would be dissatisfied because it wouldn't be the real love I deserve. Plus the gf/wife didn’t do anything to hurt me or deserve heartbreak. Why would I want to wish my heartache on her? If it wasn’t meant to be & I know why now. So when God closes one door He opens another door with something greater than what you thought you had. Self love 💕 is confidence personified.
Especially friends. Friends stick to their word..you know your friends always have your back. Their word is bond in your eyes. Your friends know your value & they know you value them. Kevin Hart “They day we signed up to be best friends is the day that my BS is your BS & your BS is my BS. Unfortunately some friends chose not to fight to keep the relationship. They refuse to acknowledge the pain they caused by their actions.
1.) You don't feel like yourself 2.) Questuining How you should communicate 3.) You think about where the relationship stands all the time. 4.) Starting to be annoyed all the time. 5.) Loosing yourself.
Only doing things because it interests them. No balance between you two. Starting to feel like a less important part of the relationship because you are.
My boyfriend still loves his ex. She left him after finding out that he had lost his virginity to someone else, and she never returned. She deleted all her social media accounts at that time. I was not in his life when this happened, but after I came into his life, he became very committed to me. However, one day he talked to a stranger online, asking if she looked like his ex. He claimed to be single, even though he was in a relationship with me. He can't seem to get over her; he still loves her and sees me as a compromise. He doesn't love me; he's just trying to find his ex in me. This situation is starting to negatively affect my mental health. I am considering leaving him. Even though I love him more than anything, I have to do this. If he can't move on from her, then he can't be with me, of course.
@@cradycanucatchme He probably didn’t finish properly healing from that. I personally don’t know but what I do know is it might feel tempting to help or stick by his side. But at what cost? Know your worth. ❤
@@cradycanucatchme if you need someone to tell you, I got you: Leave. Do what’s right for you. If you love that person, let them go and let them heal on their own. It’s funny I’m sayin this because I just got all my girls stuff together to bring to her house and breakup with her. Im struggling hard asf rn but if my codependent messed up ass can do it, i know you can do it too. I wish you the best of luck in your healing and please, wish me some luck too! Lol. Today is gonna be a difficult one. But there’s always tomorrow.
Friendship breakups. Never had I felt so drained. I gave and gave for three years. I felt like a resource fair. I’m happy they benefited but now it’s time I move on because I feel depleted and drained. Unloved.
15 girl.. 15 and unfortunately still back and forth. Seems to be the only thing in my life where I can’t break the toxic circle. I’m intelligent enough to know how bad it is, but emotionally... When it comes to him, all of my common sense seems to be allergic
Mel you need to know you are the best podcaster! I listen to others on the days you are not on & it’s terrible! They don’t compare. Ty for being you & being so good at what you do! 😊
This one is PERFECT. I actually understand this stuff now that I have started to get my original personality back and with that I can connect with people who don't abuse me with every interaction. Thank you Mel!
Thank you, Mel! I experience all these when I was with a narcissist husband and narcissists acquaintances (I dont even call then friends!). I have just left mine and hitting the floor running with the things I love to do! Even if I am doing it alone. ☺️
Lol what a bunch of bullshit and y’all are eating it up. This is more of that destroy the nuclear family shit, straight from the communist manifesto. Every couple goes through these and many more hardships. It’s about being strong when your partner is weak. It’s about navigating through the bs and emerging triumphantly. Why do y’all fall for this? And then wonder why our civilization is crumbling. Love and commitment are a choice. And if you women keep choosing to leave, us men will red flag your ass as a bailer. A runaway. Nobody wants that for a wife. You’ll die lonely and miserable.
You are SO right. It took me far too long to get this.......I'm NOT exaggerating. If you help even one person with this message it will have been worth your time.
I agreed. I absolutely experienced the first 2 in my last relationship. It was so awful. You are not sure about yourself that you can comfortably communicate with them. Time to let them go.
Bingo on EVERY sign… I’m 2months out of that relationship. Of cous I get sad (10 yrs) as well as a bit board., but I feel like me again and I feel FREE!!!
Had to set boundaries. Working thru layers of trauma & I don’t want to back slide. I don’t want to close the door on the relationship but I know my self care & self Love have to be grounded before I can give this relationship what it deserves. I’ve seen a pink flag but I also just found out that I had a stalker who was creating blocks & tension by invading all of my devices. Spoke with authorities yesterday. I had to turn them in because I discovered this person was doing it to others as well. Hope your feeling better Mel, keeping you in my prayers. Let’s catch up soon. - Brandy
No I’m good. My self worth means more to me than something that wasn't mine to begin with...because if he was mine he would’t be doing anything to jeopardize it.
I feel these so strongly, and I feel validated for leaving but, I feel so guilty for leaving her heart broken, but I hadn’t realized how bad things were for months
This just means you've let the relationship go in a bad direction it doesn't necessarily mean you should break up lots of people just have bad communication habits from childhood and it's creating distance and all they need is to connect and understand the other person and be understood. Sometimes It's incompatible and you should break up but don't give up before you know otherwise you'll just repeat the same patterns in the next relationship
Do you think a couple can learn to stop repeating the same patterns in the one relationship together or do we need to learn this on our own before even getting into a relationship?
@@beckydarrow I think some relationships are genuinely doomed from the start but yeah of course I think relationship is the main way humans can unwind their dysfunctional patterns and traumas but that means getting triggered is innevitable in every relationship unless you're already perfect or enlightened😂 that stuff is supposed to come up and be felt through. The problem is people panic and leave because they actually think it's the other person causing the pain when they're just triggering something that was already there. Reactivity is the exact opposite way of how we should be handling our triggers
Thank you for this I am just been living this out but because I have no good sense about myself in matters of the heart it’s been over a year coming to this scary reality
Along with all these they are violent and don't apologise or feel remorse.. things has to go back to normal and am expected to forget everything and go back to b normal. Won't let me live threatening to kill me and family and i know he's capable. I can't go away nor can I stay.. am lost my peace my soul everything. I don't wanna live
I was there Buy a gun talk to a detective let them know what's going on Get a restraining order I know you feel it won't help but they will probably recommend it you need this documented in case I got to the point it was so awful I didn't care if I died I was living in hell anyway I was there I got out you can too the worst nightmares to think about it never ending
After listening this..i really don't know what to say..coz I don't know but got tears in my eyes.. sometime i think u says few bitter truth..which we feel inside us but unable to explain in words..thank u so much ❤️❤️
Crazy to hear this because I actually had all of those 5 signs showing me something was going wrong, but HE is the one who broke up with me, and I am devastated...because to me love can get over those things and work this out ..
@@susanmunoz7688 Yeah I fell for that a few times before breaking up, so wiser to it now. I was accused of emotional blackmail and denying her feelings but it made me so focused on what I'd done wrong I didn't realise I was reacting to her doing them to me in the first place. Maybe I'm naive but I'm not sure she realised, and I wonder how she would've reacted if we both stepped back and looked at the bigger picture to properly forgive each other. Useful lessons for next time 🙂.
I find everything said relatable but with friends especially a toxic ex-bestfriend. When I left her she ruined my college days. I'm scared of people like ger now and I struggle to make new friends and relationships.
I went through this too. Put yourself out there, and try not to get too attached to how relieved you are to meet new people. It will take time to get to know them, so I’m just saying wait on the getting used to them part, because those seeking to exploit, will use that. I’m struggling with friendships as well after being dumped by my “best friend” of 40 years… it’s hard but we have AND add value to others lives. Stay strong. And take a chance
Thank you so much, I really need this right now. I just lose a friendship due to some weird issues, which I started to question myself. Now I know I was doing the right thing - leave.
If someone breaks up with you, remind yourself - constantly- that While you are experiencing a loss, they are experiencing a solution. They don’t feel the way you do. They aren’t sad, they aren’t regretful. They may be a little off balance but it was their decision and they feel empowered. You need to work on yourself.
It's been four years but I always feel like this 😭. Gonna break up, he's not gonna make me feel at peace. He's kind, but we're just not meant for each other.
I matter! When I feel I do not it is time to part. I can not deal with others issues. I am too old and tired for other humans who refuse to help themselves to help the people in their life and rather play victim.
He just gave me a list of things I need to do for him in his eyes “it’s to help the relationship” but almost everything in that list involves what IM doing not him…
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Unfortunately, this even applies to friends you are hanging out with😖😊 Got to let them go:)
True, about friendship. Have to disconnect. Or fire them. 🔥 my relationship have been different from alot of people.
Family too.
Thanks guys I appreciate your comments. I don’t want to resort to spells... my self-worth means more to me than any relationship that wasn’t mine to begin with, because they men I attract wouldn’t treat me like an option. Sometimes you see the best in someone & trust that they already they see you in the same light. You don’t have control of anyone. I don’t need to manipulate to have a relationship, if I had to that then I would be dissatisfied because it wouldn't be the real love I deserve. Plus the gf/wife didn’t do anything to hurt me or deserve heartbreak. Why would I want to wish my heartache on her? If it wasn’t meant to be & I know why now. So when God closes one door He opens another door with something greater than what you thought you had. Self love 💕 is confidence personified.
Especially friends. Friends stick to their word..you know your friends always have your back. Their word is bond in your eyes. Your friends know your value & they know you value them.
Kevin Hart “They day we signed up to be best friends is the day that my BS is your BS & your BS is my BS. Unfortunately some friends chose not to fight to keep the relationship. They refuse to acknowledge the pain they caused by their actions.
I was just thinking this can apply to all kinds of relationships!
So true Do not lose yourself You are valuable
All these signs are typical for a co-dependent relationship which is not easy to leave.
So true this is me
15 years in and unfortunately you’re right, not easy sounds like an understatement
30 years with kids
Lord 5 years
23 yrs and kids
1.) You don't feel like yourself
2.) Questuining How you should communicate
3.) You think about where the relationship stands all the time.
4.) Starting to be annoyed all the time.
5.) Loosing yourself.
Only doing things because it interests them.
No balance between you two.
Starting to feel like a less important part of the relationship because you are.
This applies to whether you should leave your bad job as well
Left my job because these all applied to me and I knew it
I’m still at the job I referred to in my last comment 🥲
But I’m at a different place. It’s created resilience I never knew I needed
Unfortunately it's much harder leaving a job than a relationship in this economy. I've been looking for months...
I won’t be feeling those things ever again because I won’t be getting into anymore relationships. I’ve done my penance.
Same
If you are a man I feel you.
My boyfriend still loves his ex. She left him after finding out that he had lost his virginity to someone else, and she never returned. She deleted all her social media accounts at that time. I was not in his life when this happened, but after I came into his life, he became very committed to me. However, one day he talked to a stranger online, asking if she looked like his ex. He claimed to be single, even though he was in a relationship with me. He can't seem to get over her; he still loves her and sees me as a compromise. He doesn't love me; he's just trying to find his ex in me. This situation is starting to negatively affect my mental health. I am considering leaving him. Even though I love him more than anything, I have to do this. If he can't move on from her, then he can't be with me, of course.
@@cradycanucatchme He probably didn’t finish properly healing from that. I personally don’t know but what I do know is it might feel tempting to help or stick by his side. But at what cost? Know your worth. ❤
@@cradycanucatchme if you need someone to tell you, I got you:
Leave. Do what’s right for you. If you love that person, let them go and let them heal on their own.
It’s funny I’m sayin this because I just got all my girls stuff together to bring to her house and breakup with her. Im struggling hard asf rn but if my codependent messed up ass can do it, i know you can do it too. I wish you the best of luck in your healing and please, wish me some luck too! Lol. Today is gonna be a difficult one. But there’s always tomorrow.
Friendship breakups. Never had I felt so drained. I gave and gave for three years. I felt like a resource fair. I’m happy they benefited but now it’s time I move on because I feel depleted and drained. Unloved.
This is how I've been feeling with this guy I have been going out with for eight months.
Spot on. You have nailed it! Thank you.
You are absolutely right! Thank you, and I recommend this to anyone and everyone.👍👍👍👍👍
Absolutely 💯 wish I had heard this sooner in my 11 year relationship
Everyone needs to hear this before they get married,such great advice,if I had heard this, I NEVER would have been in this marriage I'm in now.
15 girl.. 15 and unfortunately still back and forth. Seems to be the only thing in my life where I can’t break the toxic circle. I’m intelligent enough to know how bad it is, but emotionally... When it comes to him, all of my common sense seems to be allergic
Those hormones and chemicals can be so damn addictive
This just validated all the reasons I left my ex!
Same
Mel you need to know you are the best podcaster! I listen to others on the days you are not on & it’s terrible! They don’t compare. Ty for being you & being so good at what you do! 😊
This one is PERFECT. I actually understand this stuff now that I have started to get my original personality back and with that I can connect with people who don't abuse me with every interaction. Thank you Mel!
Wow! if my intuition wasn't enough this just killed it 🙏🏾
Hvala za divne savete koji su tako potrebni u zivotu
Sonja
You hit the nail on the head.
You are definitely on point!
Oh my god, all 5 feel true for me..
Thank you, Mel! I experience all these when I was with a narcissist husband and narcissists acquaintances (I dont even call then friends!). I have just left mine and hitting the floor running with the things I love to do! Even if I am doing it alone. ☺️
I went through same with a malignant narcissist alcoholic I thankfully divorced.
Guess I am alone, I would rather not be but I can work through that.
💚
Lol what a bunch of bullshit and y’all are eating it up. This is more of that destroy the nuclear family shit, straight from the communist manifesto. Every couple goes through these and many more hardships. It’s about being strong when your partner is weak. It’s about navigating through the bs and emerging triumphantly. Why do y’all fall for this? And then wonder why our civilization is crumbling. Love and commitment are a choice. And if you women keep choosing to leave, us men will red flag your ass as a bailer. A runaway. Nobody wants that for a wife. You’ll die lonely and miserable.
If you meet an asshole in the morning, you’ve met an asshole. If you meet assholes all day long, your the asshole.
Thank you for the wakeup call. I needed it.
You are SO right. It took me far too long to get this.......I'm NOT exaggerating. If you help even one person with this message it will have been worth your time.
I agreed. I absolutely experienced the first 2 in my last relationship. It was so awful. You are not sure about yourself that you can comfortably communicate with them. Time to let them go.
Bingo on EVERY sign… I’m 2months out of that relationship. Of cous I get sad (10 yrs) as well as a bit board., but I feel like me again and I feel FREE!!!
How are you feeling now?
Mel-You are a God send! Thank you!!
Applies to friendships,too
Had to set boundaries. Working thru layers of trauma & I don’t want to back slide. I don’t want to close the door on the relationship but I know my self care & self Love have to be grounded before I can give this relationship what it deserves. I’ve seen a pink flag but I also just found out that I had a stalker who was creating blocks & tension by invading all of my devices. Spoke with authorities yesterday. I had to turn them in because I discovered this person was doing it to others as well. Hope your feeling better Mel, keeping you in my prayers. Let’s catch up soon. - Brandy
No I’m good. My self worth means more to me than something that wasn't mine to begin with...because if he was mine he would’t be doing anything to jeopardize it.
Thank you!!! Confirmation as to how I have been feeling.
WOW! Soooo on point! Always can trust Mel!
Oh my!! This is really disturbing!!. I feel all the above!!
Ugh, i needed you last year. Thank you.
Alll of them very True signs ! Brilliant Mel 🖖🏻
Yesssss. Such a release when I left him
Friends, co-workers and family
Bingo all 5!!! Have been there, very accurate!!!
I feel these so strongly, and I feel validated for leaving but, I feel so guilty for leaving her heart broken, but I hadn’t realized how bad things were for months
This is amazing Mel
Spot on!
I am definitely at the last step!
This just means you've let the relationship go in a bad direction it doesn't necessarily mean you should break up lots of people just have bad communication habits from childhood and it's creating distance and all they need is to connect and understand the other person and be understood. Sometimes It's incompatible and you should break up but don't give up before you know otherwise you'll just repeat the same patterns in the next relationship
Absolutely.
Do you think a couple can learn to stop repeating the same patterns in the one relationship together or do we need to learn this on our own before even getting into a relationship?
@@beckydarrow I think some relationships are genuinely doomed from the start but yeah of course I think relationship is the main way humans can unwind their dysfunctional patterns and traumas but that means getting triggered is innevitable in every relationship unless you're already perfect or enlightened😂 that stuff is supposed to come up and be felt through. The problem is people panic and leave because they actually think it's the other person causing the pain when they're just triggering something that was already there. Reactivity is the exact opposite way of how we should be handling our triggers
The voice of reason in these comments.
Thank you for this I am just been living this out but because I have no good sense about myself in matters of the heart it’s been over a year coming to this scary reality
This absolutely true
Fantastic truth.
Along with all these they are violent and don't apologise or feel remorse.. things has to go back to normal and am expected to forget everything and go back to b normal. Won't let me live threatening to kill me and family and i know he's capable. I can't go away nor can I stay.. am lost my peace my soul everything. I don't wanna live
I was there
Buy a gun talk to a detective let them know what's going on Get a restraining order I know you feel it won't help but they will probably recommend it
you need this documented in case
I got to the point it was so awful I didn't care if I died I was living in hell anyway
I was there I got out you can too the worst nightmares to think about it never ending
I am so sorry, how are you doing now?
Truth# Good Points#
So spot on and so me.
After listening this..i really don't know what to say..coz I don't know but got tears in my eyes.. sometime i think u says few bitter truth..which we feel inside us but unable to explain in words..thank u so much ❤️❤️
Thank you!
Makes so much sense.
Profound
Concise
Very helpful 💯🌸🌟
Thx
Absolutely 100% i got all of them and now I was divorced. Thanks God
💯 Don’t walk on eggshells! It’s not love, it’s toxic.
I feel all these things me and my boyfriend broke up yesterday
Thank you...
Yes thank you sis! ❤
Crazy to hear this because I actually had all of those 5 signs showing me something was going wrong, but HE is the one who broke up with me, and I am devastated...because to me love can get over those things and work this out ..
But it's not over if you both recognise your issues and want to work on improving it.
Watch out for gaslighting!
@@susanmunoz7688 Yeah I fell for that a few times before breaking up, so wiser to it now. I was accused of emotional blackmail and denying her feelings but it made me so focused on what I'd done wrong I didn't realise I was reacting to her doing them to me in the first place. Maybe I'm naive but I'm not sure she realised, and I wonder how she would've reacted if we both stepped back and looked at the bigger picture to properly forgive each other. Useful lessons for next time 🙂.
Better to walk away and find true love and a fantastic relationship. I've learned it the hard way.
Thank you,so life changing.
Love your style Mel I’m taking style tips
I find everything said relatable but with friends especially a toxic ex-bestfriend. When I left her she ruined my college days. I'm scared of people like ger now and I struggle to make new friends and relationships.
SAME 💀
I went through this too. Put yourself out there, and try not to get too attached to how relieved you are to meet new people. It will take time to get to know them, so I’m just saying wait on the getting used to them part, because those seeking to exploit, will use that.
I’m struggling with friendships as well after being dumped by my “best friend” of 40 years… it’s hard but we have AND add value to others lives. Stay strong. And take a chance
Good video. I agree with you 💯 percent.
THANKS FOR YOUR PODCAST .
AND HAVE GREATE
WEEK .
😂❤😂❤
Thank you Mel ❤
Good to know for future references ❤
Thank you ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Excellent. True.
Thank you
Thank you so much, I really need this right now. I just lose a friendship due to some weird issues, which I started to question myself. Now I know I was doing the right thing - leave.
Hello sorry about that
I almost didn’t watch this and then lo and behold the number 2 reason was exactly my issue and so that’s that.
A smart lady, after many years I want PEACE
If someone breaks up with you, remind yourself - constantly- that While you are experiencing a loss, they are experiencing a solution. They don’t feel the way you do. They aren’t sad, they aren’t regretful. They may be a little off balance but it was their decision and they feel empowered. You need to work on yourself.
You dont feel like yourself and you lose yourself is A BIG PLUS!
Let it all out. I understand.
It's been four years but I always feel like this 😭. Gonna break up, he's not gonna make me feel at peace. He's kind, but we're just not meant for each other.
Hey, I'm sorry you're going through that, how did it go?
Thank u ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I like how she's just pointing out normal stuff in every relationship trying to say that they are all failed
yep. that has been the signs
THANK YOU
this applies to friendships too
this is so good
God this was good and needed. Thank you. 🙏🏻
Wow I just understood that all these signs apply to my job and relationship with my supervisor. Time to leave.
Good for you!
It’s depends on the situation in no.3 !!
I feel this but not with SO, with my family.
A big yup times 👍👍👍👍👍thumbs up.
Great video
Yes, it is over
This is so true.❤
God damm, being with you is the only sign I need
This is soooooo true !!!! 👈
This was two months in and we didn’t end things for two years. Lesson learned
Love Mel!
Well spoken
I’ve been with my man for over 25 years and seeing this video made me realize we actually are losing each other .this made me so mad and then so sad
No you are not. You are just going through a rough patch. Don't listen to the internet please.
I matter! When I feel I do not it is time to part. I can not deal with others issues. I am too old and tired for other humans who refuse to help themselves to help the people in their life and rather play victim.
Your Glasses are amazing😊
He just gave me a list of things I need to do for him in his eyes “it’s to help the relationship” but almost everything in that list involves what IM doing not him…
This is the worst because I am so honest and all I get is how he feels he is so much better than me . And how everyone else is the problem.
I can attest to this. Wow.
Each and everything matches... it's so fckin heartbreaking
HAPPENED THAT BEEN THERE!