Garbage Retrospective To The Lord Of The Rings
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.พ. 2025
- The Lord of the rings films are long so welcome to my longest video ever. I couldn’t finish Return of the king in time but I hope that it’s fine that it will be a full length video. A Garbage Summary? This is my second book/movie retrospective. I hope you enjoy it.
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You don't have to ask for a Game Of Thrones Retrospective. It's gonna happen at some point
Good News my subreddit has moved on from Grongo and now focuses on Crabs www.reddit.com/r/kilian/
guess what I read this title as - Game Of Thrones looooool
A
All hail King Kilian of House Experience, first of his name. protector of Comedy and men.
Mob Psycho Retrospective when?
GRONGOOOO
'Isildur responded.... lets make a pro and cons list'
The weakness of man :(
that was funny af
i perished
The correct phrase was: "a cost-benefit analysis".
this moment is the birth of tier lists on youtube
@Pferd Schild Hesitation. That's what it was.
"I think Gandalf himself is probably bored of immortality and just tries random, fun shit to see what happens."
Best conclusion ever.
Dr Bright anyone?
I think it's right btw
We need to retrive our kindom from red dragon. Solution: Have a hobbit to sneak there.
We need to destroy ring of power It's the end of the world sitiuation. Solution: Have a hobbit to sneak there.
Just like what I would do if I was imortal, so probably true 😂
@@TheSpellShell he’s two for two
@@TheSpellShell And he couldn't have picked better candidates either in the end. Whether he knew that at the time or not remains to be seen
"19 rings were sent out to people for free, no scam. Promise."
Look at me. I'm the Captain now
sauron was essentially a windows ech support scammer. "Please give me access to your rings and ill fix your issue. jk jk now i rule you."
Valter IT MAKES SENSE IF YOU READ THE SILAMARILILILILILIAN
@@sixravenx Hanks has issues flying planes and captaining boats maybe he should just stay home?
HAHA...I was going to quote that also. :) nevermind
"You'll understand this book if you read this Bible I wrote for it."
Lmao Tolkien is a hell of a guy.
"Also this Bible I wrote contradicts my other books a few hundred times. And it's unfinished."
@@tiaaaron3278 almost like the real bible!
@@adrianatgaming8640 Tolkien will come after you from afterlife.
@@adrianatgaming8640 lmfao
"For killing the Balrog, Gandalf got enough XP for a class upgrade." BEST DESCRIPTION EVER!
I love the D&D pic online where the party is trying to figure out how many hitpoints the Balrog has which they say dont even waste your time so hes like ok how many hit points does the bridge underneath have? DM: Fuck....
He went from a tenth level wizard to a twentieth level wizard. And he doesn't use fireball...much respect.
Know you’re lore
Also the oldest joke ever...
thanks
"What follows is a weird filler arc that a modern publisher would reject the entire book for" I'm dying
Perfect description of the Tom Bombadil segue
I Read Your Comment The Right Time He Said It
Friendbeard WOR hey don’t harass my man Tom bombadil.
It's funny, me and my mother were having a conversation about this book (as LOTR is her favorite books) and she said something really similar to this. That the whole Tom Bombadil thing was so useless that modern publishers would've outright rejected it.
@@eliesh3833 it's not really useless, it's how the Hobbits get their swords, it's world building and you learn why the west of Middle earth has become basically waste land. I really enjoyed that part.
Fun fact, the Simmillerrion has 42 pages dedicated to ways you can respond when confronted by someone who hasn't read the Simallerion.
Lol is that true ?
@@jameslegrand848 From a certain point of view. A great many things depend uopon your point of view
James Legrand you’ve got to read the Simerilion to find out
is that the answer to everything?
Another fun fact, the Samirleons are spelled differently every time they are mentioned
Killian as Tolkien: The Lord of the Rings is 1200 pages.
Me: Yep.
Killian: It's a musical!
Me: ...oh, wow, it is!
The only part he got wrong was that Tolkien actually went to his publisher to release Silmarillion first, but the publisher thought that it was too "Celtic" and not for children. LoTR was somehow published.
@@the.invincible.9542 wait what?
@@the.invincible.9542got any sources? Im pretty sure the silmarillion was released years after he died because his son wanted it published...
"You cannot go over this bridge."
that has to be dumbledore's most famous quote
@@donkosaurus spoiler: aquaman drowns in the twin towers.
still gives me goosebumps
Your ability for walk are prohibited to bypass this rock structure for passing.
And funnily enough that's actually kinda closer to the spirit of the book than the film's line. In the book Gandalf says "You cannot pass." which is far more absolute than "shall not".
"You shall not pass." = "I refuse to let you pass."
"You cannot pass." = "There's absolutely nothing you can do that allows you to pass."
"You cannot pass....I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn. Go back to the Shadow! You cannot pass." - Gandalf
“I do not know what happens in the Silmarillion.”
“The backstory of the Lord of the Rings is so cool, you guys! It deserves its own book.”
Lol, good one.
Killian is the greatest shitposter of all time.
Sam: ''I'm the real hero of this story''
Hell yes he is.
In the books it is described that Sam's fury when Shelob impaled Frodo was greater then that of any beast before in Middle-Earth and thereafter.
@@commandertempest6391 I was thinking it would have to be Fingolfin riding up to Melkor's place saying '1v1 me u prick' but that technically wasn't in Middle Earth
excuse me who is sam I was too distracted by this friend of Frodo fixing ford's mess ups. He is the true hero
@@commandertempest6391 Of course, Lord of the Rings was written by Frodo and Sam and they over-glorifies themselves to no end.
@@AfferbeckBeats Or when the dwarves murdered Thingol, the guy they stole from.
Pesky hobbits have nothing on Elves and Dwarves, LMAO.
"Some sergeant would probably lose his shit if you broke formation like that."
Killian knows.
"After 2900 years, like every tenth person is a descendant of Isildur."
Well, if you read the Silmarillion....
"Euron Greyjoy shoots an arrow through time and space and kills Smaug."
Peak.
He really is just that good in that one episode
"let's leave whiterun and leave to helms deep"
these videos are so jam-packed with jokes i keep finding new ones every rewatch
"The trees are having a political discussion, which is moving faster than a human political discussion."
Truer words have never been spoken.
Best smoothie for beating the summer heat.
Mellon.
That killed me
i replayed it twice and i just had no idea what he said
Sarumans jodeling was about to kill me and that finished me off :D
@@tzmtzt *died of laughter*
7:47 "and then they... *destroy furniture*... my Swedish heart!" :'(
Lord Killian: Guardian of cliff notes and bringer of Pepsi crab
Grognak The Detroyer Attorney at Law *_Esquire M.D._*
More like Bore Ragnarok
JackBudi Don’t stomp my villages bruh
Zoom Zoom I do that?
Sorry I forgot
Pepsi crab is delicious
JackBudi seems to me like you’ve got amnosia
The door was password protected with the clue "best smoothie for killing the summer heat"
Gandalf: "Melon"
I don't think people give dumbledore enough credit he's my personal favourite lord of the rings character
Especially when he teamed up Aslan to bring down the wall.
"And finally we come to the Hobbit and Dumbledore isn't even in it!"
"You mean Gandalf."
"THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON!"
I especially like the point where Dumbledore calmly tells the balrog he may not pass.
The best scene was when he screamed at Obi Wan in Winterfell calmly.
dumbledore is in harry potter😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤 😤😤😤😤😤
"Tolkien Politeness Lesson: Don't eavesdrop... or you will be recruited to a suicide mission"
"Tolkien Politeness Lesson 2: Dont steal vegetables... because you will be sent on a suicide mission"
This vid is one hilarious line after another. very well done!
i lol'd at him pronouncing JRR Tolkien as "Gerrr" Tolkien
Fun fact, in one of his letters, Tolkien mentions that as a kid he signed things "JRRT", so his friends called him Jert.
Better than Jake Rowling
from when I was a kid I would always be reminded of Dallas and JR Ewing's name for some reason whenever I saw Tolkien's name on a book. I didnt even like Dallas or the characters. lol just weird what stuff gets stuck in your mind when a kid.
Better than Jolkein Rolkein Rolkein Tolkein
"Jake Rowling" is even funnier in my opinion
Why spend 9 hours watching the trilogy when you can watch all of Killians video in one sitting?
Yes
9 hours? That sounds like you're not watching the director's cut, like some sort of peasant?
noneedforid yeah. Directors cut? *_That’s not enough._* You gotta actually be there.
9 hours
It's 12 hours and you watch that in one sitting
Exactly!
*Telling him the truth might make him depressed again.*
"He wen't to live on a farm"
F*CKING DYING
Unlike Theodred.
Who totally is alive on that farm
wen’t
How can the Hobbit movies be rushed, underdeveloped, bloated, and drawn out at the same time?
The answer is that you cannot contain greedy executives! Hollywood...finds a way!
Lindsay Ellis' videos detailing all this bullshit are many times more interesting than the movies themselves!
By skipping a lot of important/interesting bits and adding bullshit like basic elf bish loves handsome squiddwarf?
Hey, a dollar's a dollar.
It makes sense if you read the simililliom
3:22 "It was published in 1937. Then for 13 years nothing important happened."
Huh? What's the jo....oh. Oh God that's hilarious!
What's the joke
i don have any idea what to call my account A little something called WWII.
@@MasterCharlie104 thanks
i don have any idea what to call my account look into it, it was a pretty big deal in England (a country where Tolkien was from.)
theyre taking the hobbits to isengard
What did you say?
@@TheFlipsta97 the hobbits the hobbits the hobbits the hobbits to isengard to isengard
@@asagoldsmith3328 tell me where is Gandalf? for i much would like to speak to him
@@chazzwozzio a balrog of morgoth
@@asagoldsmith3328 what did u say?
"Let's Leave Whiterun and go to Helm's Deep."
"...Errmm... your majesty, don't you mean Edoras?"
".... Yes. Right. What you said."
"D&D adapt Lord of the Rings"
That would really SUBVERT MY EXPECTATIONS
Didn’t know you watched Kilian, pretty cool
I hope this will be a video on your channel and not reality lol
Make an alternative history video on what would have happened if D&D adapted Lord of the Rings instead of Peter Jackson.
I made a custom adaptation playing during the silmarillion in my party ^^ took me like a 150 hours to write one quest. But its a great time, since I could use so much things in the books as inspiration.
*Me: Oh, a Lord of the Rings video.*
**Sees that it's by Kilian**
**Sees Tom in the thumbnail**
**SCREAMS IN KILIAN LORE**
Thank you so much!
I had to write a book report about it tomorrow and there isn't enough time to watch all of the movies.
This video saved my life
That a real youngling mistake, my dude.
“You’re all short, you should rob a dragon.”
- Gandalf
How did you know I just bingewatched the extended LOTR series??
Google is like mordors eye, it sees all.
@@zyphoxfilms8418 sauron is google ceo.....
Because it's what any self-respecting person would do after seeing the trash that is the GoT ending.
Same lmao I also just finished downloading them into my iPad for a second round
Fun fact black paint was very expensive in the medieval ages because of how rare the ingredients were.
Rare? Like... soot?
@@pietrotettamanti7239 soot isnt paint idiot
@@modedealer8155 soot was an *ingredient* of black paint, idiot.
@@pietrotettamanti7239 and other ingredients? you wouldnt talk to me like this irl btw. youre pathetic.
@@modedealer8155 lol calm
12:15 His final thoughts were:
*washing machine ad plays*
XD I had an albion online Ad starting right there.
Appliance direct
6:49 Basically shows Killian’s state of mind when writing the scripts for each video.
Lmao lvl 20 defense mithril *runescape theme plays*
Dude that was grade A Nostalgic Humor right there.
Killian is fake news cuz mithril requires level 30 defense
@@sirhoovythesandvichdispens6309 No it requires 20 defence in Oldschool Runescape, and you shall have no other runescapes besides Oldschool.
@@RagbagMcShag Nice!
@@RagbagMcShag :O
"best smoothie for beating the summer heat"
"melon"
This got me
Hold my boiled crab, I'm going in
I love the fact that the majority of the Hobbit part consisted of footage from the greatest videogame of all time.
18 minutes?! Clearly based from the books!
true
19 minutes, for 19 rings
*games
"The Hobbit: An Unexpected Three Movies" needs to be a video essay.
Your swedish accent is almost more pronounced than Lemmino, i love it
"The king has a daughter who isn't really into Aragorn... then she finds out that he's 87 and she is into it." LOL
God damnit, imagine a movie being a masterpiece, a meme, a bad movie, a detailed movie and a amazing movie all in one.
Killian, I'm immeasurably triggered by you calling Prince Glorfindel of Gondolin "A RANDOM ELF"
A random elf with named ‘Prince Glorfindel of Gondolin’.)
Why? Because he appeared in your bible the Sirilmerlion?
@@Lanval_de_Lai He is a rather epic character in it. Managed to kill a balrog, returned from the halls of Mandos, part of the white council. The silmarillion is a great book, at least once you get past the valaquenta.
@@slome815 so what you're saying is that it makes sense if you read the armadillion?
@@lastfullast8819 no, he is not badass, a true badass would be peppin, didn't you watch the video? 😧
because a guy shows up to debate historical accuracy.
litterly hurt my ribs from laughing
7:54 and then they destroy furniture
*MY SWEDISH HEART*
Oh my gosh, Killian, it's been a really rough day so far and seeing one of my absolute favorite series summed up by one of my favorite TH-camrs was exactly what I needed today.
Amazing how Kilian tells the story more accurate than the films :D His Gandalf impression alone gave me chills! 10/10 His imitation skill even kills trolls.
Gandalf walks up to Saruman
Saruman: Hello Gandalf. You see, I'm an energy man and you are an Ancient Wizard. You as an Ancient Wizard can provide enough energy to make me powerful enough to take over the World.
Is wearing a team plasma shirt under the cloak 😂
@@kriskristen😂
God damn I lost it at Arwen's intro saying "Ranger" the way orcs do in Shadow of Mordor, knowing the context and randomly hearing it in a killian experience review of LOTR is just glorious
13:04
Hear that Bethesda, a servant of the dark lord is more honorable
Pippin: Hey, it's Earth Day! Do you think Saruman celebrates Earth Day?
- So they went to check and noticed the lights are *STILL ON!!!!!*
*Boss music plays*
Good old Lord of the Rings Online music, ah, nostalgia.
The Ring will change size to fit its wearer. The question is, will it fit every body part you want to put it onto?
Jeez...
And it can change size against the person's will. Saron decides that you lose dick privileges
Saruman: "You chose pain!"
Gandalf: "Weeeeeeeeeeee" get's the world's most impressive upsy daisy.
10:48 "He reached level 20 and-" RUNESCAPE MUSIC PLAYS
Thank you Kilian, I've had a really shitty day and this cheered me up. Before I felt as bad as that crab you boiled.
No idea how many times I’ve watched this since it came out. It’s so well done and packed with great lines!
This post was made by LoTR subreddit.
Tolkien Lessons
+ If you eavesdrop, you WILL be sent on a suicide mission
+ If you steal vegetables, you WILL be sent on a suicide mission
+ If you give in to peer pressure, you WILL be sent on a suicide mission
+ Mountain Climbing is a rewarding hobby
"The Hobbit, or Three Unexpected Movies"
SUBSCRIBED
Worm tongue: Do you have any proof WLABLABLABABA”
I died lol
You're a good man, thank you
*Theon intensifies*
Always found it funny that Gimli thought it was safe to go through Moria, when nobody had heard from them in years
Looking forward to you covering how Saruman takes over the Shire.
No, really. That's a thing in the books.
Thew Scorching of the Shire.
Where JR Tolkein lets lose his views on Industrialization vs Country life.
Trygve Plaustrum Eesti?
Boy, I get that a lot. I'm American, but I like Estonia.
Ma saan selle palju. Ma olen Ameerika, aga mulle meeldib Eesti.
@@tanith117 *scouring of the Shire
Backstory time: 14:06 Aragorn (or rather the actor that plays Aragorn) broke his toe while kicking that heavy head prop. The shouting and kneeling is not part of the script but was kept in since it fits.
You missed the part where smaug went roar
Every time a piece of LOTRO music started, I jumped a little. 10/10. Well done.
This video is an instant classic, truly one of your finest works.
"What is the best smoothie to fight summer's heat?" "Mel-on!" - I laughed way harder about that, than I should have.
"Good morning mister Baggingson" you've killed me bro
Kilain as somebody who has just finished watching this movie I can tell you this. I learned so much I didn't know about the movies thank you.
I'm glad Killian remembered his catchphrase.
Even if he couldn't say it this time.
i know this sounds pathetic but this really brightened my day... i was totally having the worst day ever but honestly your videos are some of the only stuff i can manage to watch and i love this so much :)))
I've waited for this my entire life I swear to god
I too can die in peace now
"Then he grabs them and they really regret not telling they're adults..."
I had to stop watching for 5 minutes I was laughing so hard. Bravo.
KILLIAN YOU'RE THE BEST TH-camR I'VE EVER SEEN! ❤
(i am also Swedish)
I also think Killian is the best TH-camr.
(I am not Swedish, but my furniture is)
@@dontspikemydrink9382 I am not 1000% sure but i think that it was a Killian Quote
@@dontspikemydrink9382 lol i genuinly believe Sweden could use some Islamophobia after what's going on. And a phobia is a irrational fear, wich chertainly doesn't add up with what's happening in sweden. Enjoy your diversity dawg
@@budgetlifter i genuinely think you are worthless piece of trash
@@OzReviews2 no
What's 'taters, precious?
*PO* *TA* *TOES* *?*
Oh excellent, you’ve got the GameCube game!
But actually though, the Silmarillion is the best book of the series
ArchetypeGotoh it’s the best book to read if you enjoy reading about elves fucking up and getting sad about fucking up.
Dunno, Children of Hurin is also absolutely amazing
This was such a good video , can't wait for return of the killian .
Man I had super duper fun watching the extended edition of these movies for like a day every year or so .
I love-hate being so early to a video that it's not even available in HD.
“Hey peasants, build walls. Stop being shit at living in medieval times”
"Lets make a pros and cons list" made me favorite the video
As someone who loved both the book and movies since I was seven, this was not garbage but glorious fanservice. Keep it my dude.
Can I just say how much I love you for using LotRO Soundtracks?
Love it killian. You remain one of the few TH-cam's who can genuily makes me laugh
Me: Listening to Lotr Music
killian: It's free real estate
3 Minutes later: Garbage Retrospective To The Lord Of The Rings
How do you do it you black wizard.
I wonder if black wizards can jump higher and run fa-
Wait no forget that last part.
How has your profile picture not been taken down for sexual content yet?
@@UNSCMarine117 I have the feeling you mongoloid reported me
@@dramaexterminatus
I'm just surprised TH-cam allows it.
But god forbid you say the word fuck your video is done.
Only ever seen the hobbit films, thanks for explaining the rest of the series for me. It all makes so much more sense
Was about to sleep.
Sees notification.
What is sleeping ?
no time for sleep yet
Is that a type of food?
@@Salman.khan786 nope.
@@samsyet-0074 is that a type of fun then ? plus how do you know that it isn't food ?
@@thatguy3000 Yes it is fun. And I know it is not a food, because you can't ear it.
Actually really informative. I've always watched the films as background to playing video games. Never watched them start to finish in one sitting.
Iconic quote: He-
Kilian: NO
Fuck off with that runescape reference at 10:50 . I cried from laughing, and spilled my Guinness. You owe me Guinness.
Oh god...the Bree Soundtrack from Lotro...dem feels
I think the Tolkien to his Publisher scene was the best!
“I just wrote a 1200 word novel!”
“What?!”
“It’s a MUSICIAl!”
“WHAT?!”
“You need to read this bible for half of it to make sense!”
*FINALLY, what I was waiting for*
"The Two Towers is a story about one tower" got me 💀