I hate how people take this as “I don’t want a man” and “I hate men”. I do want a man but living m life based on getting one is dangerous. Leaning on any human for validation and happiness is dangerous
I'm with you. I would love to be in a healthy, loving, equal partnership with a genuinely great man. Sadly, the vast majority of men don't fit that standard. In my life, I wasted too much time with men who were not my equal partner. I'm not willing to go through that again, so my only option is to build a beautiful single life. I know there are good men out there, but I can't wait around for one to find me.
been telling my friends about the "divide and conquer" for years. I had to let some friends go because they weren't ready to stop acting silly for strangers, among other things
One of the ways I’m decentering men is realizing where it comes from and how interconnected everything is. I want to remove or try to remove every facet of white supremacy from my life that includes internalized anti blackness, misogyny, individualism, self hate xyz!
I needed this so much. Left a toxic relationship earlier this year. Focused on myself and restarted dating. Met someone that has so many green flags but is not emotionally available to me, is inconsistent on communication and faded to nothing after the hookup. In a past life, I would have fought for the potential but now I’m letting that go. I needed that okay to grieve what could have been and celebrate choosing myself
he used you, you chose a man out of your league and he used you, you shouldn't be surprised, alotta men have options especially the kinds of men women look for emotionally, spiritually and financially put together non toxic men. when i hook up with a girl that i only want sex from who i feel is not in my "league" i do the same thing, soft next them by slowly ceasing communication
My aunt and all of my female cousins are male centered. My aunt always centered her life around making a man happy and making it all about them. She ended up with two baby daddies 6 kids, horrible relationships, broke with nothing to show at 62. All these men dog her out. My female cousins are all in toxic relationships. I have decentered men since my teens.
Ladies, remember your inherent value as women. You don't have to build muscle, get rich or even own a sports car JUST to get some!! Men make entire book series just to have a conversation with you and you should be out here running after them? Make it make sense.
It seems as though I'm right on track in not only decentering men but also centering myself. Before I would just replace it with something else to lose focus on but actually putting myself and my own needs first has been a whole other leg of the journey.
Thank you sis. It’s like having a talk with a good friend. You speak positivity and life to us sisters. The sisterhood is just as powerful if not more than the brotherhood.
I'm engaged and I've always said I see men as a tool or resource. My fiance knows I can live with or without him and he still wants to marry me. Lol I will never have both feet in...ever... I love him, but will always love me and our kids MORE
Thank you sooo much Beautiful for the content, being the oldest of 5, parents nagging me for kids and a husband. I could have been further in life, if I didn't let relationships be distractions.
I just learned about "decentering men" and I've been trying to find some good videos explaining how to do this and so far they are all sub-par BUT this video....this video is EXCELLENT! So much good info that really got me thinking and provides excellent examples to explain further. Thank you so much for creating this! 💙💙💙
THE QUEENMAKER WAS FIRST TO REALLY TALK ABOUT THIS NO OTHER WOMEN ON YTUBE WAS TALKING ABOUT ALL WOMEN WAS GOING THE KEVIN SAMUEL SHOW AND ALL OTHER ONES PUTING WOMEN DOWN TELL THEIR TO MASCULINE TO OLD AND SO ON.AND MOST TALKING ABOUT HOW TO GET A MAN AND THEY WAS STILL GOINGVON DATING SITE COMPLAINING ABOUT AINT NO GOOD MAN OR WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD MEN GOING ON TV SHOWS WASN'T NO WOMAN ON TIK TOK OR TH-cam TALKING ABOUT DECENTERING MEN UNTIL PRINCELLA THE QUEENMAKER STARTED TELL WOMEN THIS
I’ve been decentering men for about 2 - 3 years - I can’t recall when I started. I was doing so well until I accidentally fell in love. The indoctrination is SO STRONG - I’ve had to reset and refresh my entire decentering journey! This was a beautiful listen - thank you for these great reminders! I’m listening again! ❤
It’s sad that the patriarchy and internalised mysogony has some women convinced women are ultimately trouble/not to be trusted - and they favour men....I just don’t get it when you look at history/see the stats. Those of us who can see through this oppressive illusion are lucky. Ladies we are stronger together and if we would put more effort into our female friendships and build and appreciate platonic love...we could be so much better off. Sisterhood done right is so powerful. This goes Hand in hand with decentering men.
The truth is when you decenter men and toxic people in general, you could wind up broke and homeless. I had so many toxic men in my life and I refused to serve them in any way at work or in my personal life which led to a lot of loss of money, homes, jobs, etc. When you stop serving men and start putting yourself first, they don’t take well to that and will retaliate. Just be warned. However God is my provider now and He always makes a way ❤
Nah, this isn't it. Decentering men shouldn't stop you from being strategic and ensuring your financial security. I respect that this is your lived experience, but decentering men have had quite the opposite effect on my life and many others.
@@charliestoolbox Well when you have toxic bosses that fire you for not wanting to sleep with them it does effect your finances. However, I now have my own stream of income and I have investments that will secure my future.
I want a quality partner. Men who truly want you will rise to the occasion and make the necessary changes. Those who can't or won't evolve will fall away like dead skin after a sugar scub.
Hey this is great for divorcées. I’m totally ok and I accept that fact that I need to ask for help sometimes. I am just as good asking for help. I’m pleased when I ask for help. It’s like showing up naked like yes this is me, and I’m not flinching. lol mmmmmm this is sooo yummy sis yay ❤
@@charliestoolbox teheehee in full hijab but it’s an energy. Kind of makes me reflect on returning to the Lord. Naked and bare, the true essence of who we are. Love your channel keep going ❤️❤️❤️
@Chimalmita1 Because there is a dominant patriarchal notion that women can only derive genuine pleasure from those things that are explicitly or implicitly associated with their connection to men: i.e., being a wife, being a mother, being submissive to male leadership, being "provided for" by men, etc. So when women derive any type of genuine pleasure from things that are not attached to men in some way, it typically means that they are centering their own joy, their own needs, and their own desires, and placing these things above and outside of male control.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom on this topic. 😊
No problem at all!
I hate how people take this as “I don’t want a man” and “I hate men”. I do want a man but living m life based on getting one is dangerous. Leaning on any human for validation and happiness is dangerous
people are so odd in how they think in extremes
Men's thoughts and feelings are ever moving and ever changing like the clouds in the sky. It's like building a house on sand
@@hiniewiniegreat analogy
I'm with you. I would love to be in a healthy, loving, equal partnership with a genuinely great man. Sadly, the vast majority of men don't fit that standard. In my life, I wasted too much time with men who were not my equal partner. I'm not willing to go through that again, so my only option is to build a beautiful single life. I know there are good men out there, but I can't wait around for one to find me.
Exactly it’s not about hating the opposite gender is about learning how to make yourself happy
been telling my friends about the "divide and conquer" for years. I had to let some friends go because they weren't ready to stop acting silly for strangers, among other things
I get that! and it sucks because you want them to grow with you but they just don't want to.
One of the ways I’m decentering men is realizing where it comes from and how interconnected everything is. I want to remove or try to remove every facet of white supremacy from my life that includes internalized anti blackness, misogyny, individualism, self hate xyz!
this is the one! I love and respect this POV
Wow! That’s good!
I'm white and I despise white supremacy, if you can believe that. That's just how I was raised.
Oh girl please then dont live in the west
period!!
I needed this so much. Left a toxic relationship earlier this year. Focused on myself and restarted dating. Met someone that has so many green flags but is not emotionally available to me, is inconsistent on communication and faded to nothing after the hookup. In a past life, I would have fought for the potential but now I’m letting that go. I needed that okay to grieve what could have been and celebrate choosing myself
I love that you found the silver lining and you are choosing yourself! keep going!
he used you, you chose a man out of your league and he used you, you shouldn't be surprised, alotta men have options especially the kinds of men women look for
emotionally, spiritually and financially put together non toxic men.
when i hook up with a girl that i only want sex from who i feel is not in my "league" i do the same thing, soft next them by slowly ceasing communication
My aunt and all of my female cousins are male centered. My aunt always centered her life around making a man happy and making it all about them. She ended up with two baby daddies 6 kids, horrible relationships, broke with nothing to show at 62. All these men dog her out. My female cousins are all in toxic relationships. I have decentered men since my teens.
I hate to say it, but when you see what they go through you want to run far far away from whatever they are doing.
@@charliestoolbox exactly!
We were indoctrinated since childhood to center men (for generations)
Ladies, remember your inherent value as women. You don't have to build muscle, get rich or even own a sports car JUST to get some!! Men make entire book series just to have a conversation with you and you should be out here running after them? Make it make sense.
It seems as though I'm right on track in not only decentering men but also centering myself. Before I would just replace it with something else to lose focus on but actually putting myself and my own needs first has been a whole other leg of the journey.
Love that for you!
Decentering men is spiritual evolution ! ❤
Agree!
Thank you sis. It’s like having a talk with a good friend. You speak positivity and life to us sisters. The sisterhood is just as powerful if not more than the brotherhood.
I am happy to hear this!
I'm engaged and I've always said I see men as a tool or resource. My fiance knows I can live with or without him and he still wants to marry me. Lol
I will never have both feet in...ever...
I love him, but will always love me and our kids MORE
love that!
I fcking love that for you
Thank you sooo much Beautiful for the content, being the oldest of 5, parents nagging me for kids and a husband. I could have been further in life, if I didn't let relationships be distractions.
I get this! it's not too late to achieve all your dreams, so don't forget!
Nothing was in vain. We slow down to speed up in life. Don’t worry about where you “could have been” by now. You’re right on time.
I just learned about "decentering men" and I've been trying to find some good videos explaining how to do this and so far they are all sub-par BUT this video....this video is EXCELLENT! So much good info that really got me thinking and provides excellent examples to explain further. Thank you so much for creating this! 💙💙💙
thank you! this means a lot to me!! and I am so happy I could help!
THE QUEENMAKER WAS FIRST TO REALLY TALK ABOUT THIS NO OTHER WOMEN ON YTUBE WAS TALKING ABOUT ALL WOMEN WAS GOING THE KEVIN SAMUEL SHOW AND ALL OTHER ONES PUTING WOMEN DOWN TELL THEIR TO MASCULINE TO OLD AND SO ON.AND MOST TALKING ABOUT HOW TO GET A MAN AND THEY WAS STILL GOINGVON DATING SITE COMPLAINING ABOUT AINT NO GOOD MAN OR WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD MEN GOING ON TV SHOWS WASN'T NO WOMAN ON TIK TOK OR TH-cam TALKING ABOUT DECENTERING MEN UNTIL PRINCELLA THE QUEENMAKER STARTED TELL WOMEN THIS
I’ve been decentering men for about 2 - 3 years - I can’t recall when I started. I was doing so well until I accidentally fell in love. The indoctrination is SO STRONG - I’ve had to reset and refresh my entire decentering journey! This was a beautiful listen - thank you for these great reminders! I’m listening again! ❤
I am so happy that I‘ve found your channel. Thank you dearly!!! 🌱🤝
I am so happy you are here!
I’m so glad I found you channel! I feel like I’ve been holding myself back by centering me. I need to catch up on my goals! Thank you! Binge watching
Me too sis! Binge watching 😊
You are so welcome!
I’m so grateful my friend shared your page with me ❤
Shoutout to your friend and welcome!
this is one of my favorite podcasts- please keep making more episodes!!!
definitely will ! I had a break because of burnout, but I am returning soon!
A podcast collabo between the two of you would be powerhouse of synergy!
One of the best videos I’ve watched so far!
thank you! that means a lot!
@@charliestoolbox you’re absolutely welcome!
It’s sad that the patriarchy and internalised mysogony has some women convinced women are ultimately trouble/not to be trusted - and they favour men....I just don’t get it when you look at history/see the stats.
Those of us who can see through this oppressive illusion are lucky. Ladies we are stronger together and if we would put more effort into our female friendships and build and appreciate platonic love...we could be so much better off. Sisterhood done right is so powerful. This goes Hand in hand with decentering men.
This was so valuable to listen to. Men definitely love their strategies.
Im so happy to hear this!
Thank you for sharing this, I have been doing this for a year and I got so much clarity and progressed alot, I'm so looking forward to 2024.
I love this!! 2024 here we come!
I hope to have friends like yours one day. ❤
I will send good energy out there for you and hope those types of people find you.
Wow, this is really insightful and deep thought provoking😮
Thanks!
thank you! this is so kind!
Charlie for President ❤
thank you lovely!
Thank you.❤
I swear I was taking notes and it's as though each word you said was a line that was a bar to a rap song and it was giving everything.
hahaha thank you!
I needed this ‼️
Appreciate your efforts,keep going❤
Thank you, I will
Good video! i love it New Sub.
Welcome!
The truth is when you decenter men and toxic people in general, you could wind up broke and homeless. I had so many toxic men in my life and I refused to serve them in any way at work or in my personal life which led to a lot of loss of money, homes, jobs, etc. When you stop serving men and start putting yourself first, they don’t take well to that and will retaliate. Just be warned. However God is my provider now and He always makes a way ❤
Nah, this isn't it. Decentering men shouldn't stop you from being strategic and ensuring your financial security. I respect that this is your lived experience, but decentering men have had quite the opposite effect on my life and many others.
@@charliestoolbox Well when you have toxic bosses that fire you for not wanting to sleep with them it does effect your finances. However, I now have my own stream of income and I have investments that will secure my future.
@@LifebyL17 sorry that happened to you.
I want a quality partner. Men who truly want you will rise to the occasion and make the necessary changes. Those who can't or won't evolve will fall away like dead skin after a sugar scub.
This video is about decentering men? Im not sure if what you are saying applies
Hey this is great for divorcées. I’m totally ok and I accept that fact that I need to ask for help sometimes. I am just as good asking for help. I’m pleased when I ask for help. It’s like showing up naked like yes this is me, and I’m not flinching. lol mmmmmm this is sooo yummy sis yay ❤
I love that analogy, "showing up naked" because in a way you are.
@@charliestoolbox teheehee in full hijab but it’s an energy. Kind of makes me reflect on returning to the Lord. Naked and bare, the true essence of who we are. Love your channel keep going ❤️❤️❤️
love that! @@yayabeautiful9237
Why is pleasure that important in decentering men?
we don't live life without pleasure tbh. It drives a lot of what we do.
@Chimalmita1 Because there is a dominant patriarchal notion that women can only derive genuine pleasure from those things that are explicitly or implicitly associated with their connection to men: i.e., being a wife, being a mother, being submissive to male leadership, being "provided for" by men, etc.
So when women derive any type of genuine pleasure from things that are not attached to men in some way, it typically means that they are centering their own joy, their own needs, and their own desires, and placing these things above and outside of male control.
@@biggtk That's so spot on! Thank you!
Maybe there’s a man or a woman saying that decentering a man is woman hatting on men. That’s not it.
It could be that, too, and people would be justified to hate men because of the evidence (rape, murder, child abuse).
Thank you.❤
No problem!
Thank you.❤