I had an amazing experience. I sent money directly to an English teaching school for a young Vietnamese girl. Later, I found out she hadn't attended class for six months so I quit paying and our communications ended. Three years later, out of the blue, she wired me $ to repay all the tuition money I had spent and told me she had matured, felt sorry, and didn't want me to be jaded against giving money to other charitable causes. Blew me away.
@@dakinejeb7890 wow a great girl.. I paid for my late wife's eldest daughter to go to collage in manila. That included room and board and all expenses. Just to find out after a month she stopped and would just play in manila. She showed no respect to her mother as well the last year of her life she didn't even talk to her mother until i told her she's very sick . Some children are evil you had one of the few that did the right thing.
Pretty much good advice but I disagree with giving money to siblings as a gift...Once you create the monster you'll be the one responsible for feeding it. These guys are smarter than you think, give them a small loan and they will normally pay it back...Then the requests keep increasing until it comes to the point that they just blow it off and give you the shaft. Best part is when your girl calls the loan due they all of a sudden turn the tables and you become the cheap, greedy and disgusting old foreigner...Wait and see... Better to just learn the word NO...and mean what you say.
Yeah I had the 20k loan to the brother for a motorbike...give him his due it was his workhorse but repay the 20k fat chance. But for that reason they know not to ask again. We have three kids so I'm happy to fund my family
Indeed they will push the envelope as far as possible (human nature), and you will start to feel resentment it, unless you're a complete pushover. Nothing is ever really free in this life, something much be given in exchange (doesn't always have to be money, it can be time and labor as well).
I concur with your assessment of “ cash contribution “ to gf or family 100% . Everybody’s financial circumstance is going to be different. But when you make a commitment, stick to it because otherwise you can ruin other’s lives, which in turn will end up ruining your own…..
I hope i did not say ruin other's lives, I think I said if your going to give monthly and it is part of your budget let them know so they can budget. I understand things change my wording should have been better. Thanks as always for your comment
I'm German and I was brought up to be responsible. Responsibility for the well-being of others, especially family. I take that for granted. And you are absolutely right. If you only know someone online and don't know anything about the person, you quickly become a victim. Very informative video. I hope that many foreigners will heed your advice. Georg
I have had similar experiences as you Mike and I wholely agree, it's a in person case by case and judgement decision I also feel when you take a woman in your life your home you also take a measure of responsibility
I really do admire a man who will look after of his partner. Not because you're westerner, but you do it from your heart because you want to help. Mabuhay Mike told what's he saw and it's all true. Well done Mike 👍
Especially as a retiree there is only one thing that matters. KNOW AND FOLLOW YOUR BUDGET! Every decision is right if it's within your budget. Every decision is wrong if it's outside your budget. Being scammed is no worse than a drunken binge, a fancy meal, or a 5 star resort you really enjoyed. Go ahead and fall in love you old fools, just don't violate the budget.
@Carl Smith. Correct. This is how we operate our modest finances when we are residing at Cebu provincial. In the past we have assisted family with cash but we are very careful about lending any money these days, after we got scammed by family members and neighbours. We have virtually cut off the gravy train which has made us unpopular, especially me. Too many expats go broke in the Phils after allowing themselves to be used as an ATM, which is a false guise of being popular by the locals. Bob.
Since those are the terms of endearment, let's call it what it is: paying for sex and/or female affection. Many have no conscience about milking you dry.
Great video Mike thank you. I’m 49, never married no kids. As we know dating in the US is a challenge and often times the nice, good men get passed over. I’m one of them. I’ve done well in life, military retired and always thought about about my future wife and kids and planned and invested accordingly. I will say if I moved there, and met a nice girl, I wouldn’t have a have problem helping the family. I didn’t have a family here in the US. I can at least help another family. That’s my view. I will make sure I do it wisely that works for everyone. Thanks again.
Jim I would strongly recommend your visiting the Philippines. It’s a bachelors paradise. Lots of young pretty Filipinas with delightful personalities and solid values who would be seriously interested in a long term relationship with you and would be excellent wives. You just have to have common sense and do things the right way. It’s not like all the Filipinas are from poor families. You can just as easily find a Filipina who comes from a prosperous but not wealthy family and thus a lot less pressure to help the family financially as they won’t really need your help. At least not all the time. They are also likely to speak English quite well. The financial asks from my wife’s family has never been bad. They just expect us to pitch in our fair share for legitimate family emergencies and to support her elderly parents which amounts to $100/month for us. We’ve also helped some of our nieces and nephews with the cost of college but college is super cheap there and we’ve only helped the ones who demonstrated they are good students. But I strongly encourage you to try as you will be the hunted and not the Hunter.
Is up to you is your life you choice. But be careful they're poor people on there, what they wants is your wealth. I would be very careful if i were you. Not all people have good Attention.
I've been living here, and married, for going on 16 years (Feb 2007). I'm currently 67, the wife is 52, and we have a 14-year-old FilAm daughter. My wife and I were casually communicating online long before I retired here. I was communicating with several. We were both of the same frame of mind. The other person isn't real until you meet them. I visited the Philippines for the first time in Feb 2006, on a recon mission, I'm retired military. It wasn't where I was headed, but I landed in Cebu to meet her. I was headed to Baguio City and I went, it was awesome. A Cebuana, however had changed my plans, and I moved to Cebu. She would have went with me to Baguio. But I didn't feel it would be fair to her. No regrets. I love Cebu. I met her family while here, and I believe that if the family is in need, then helping them each month is not only warranted, but required. Personally, I wasn't interested in getting involved with that type of thing. I wouldn't marry into poverty in the USA, so why would I do that here? My wife's family was middle class and didn't need my money. In fact, some in the extended family had more money than I had. I offered to continue what she was contributing to the family. It was refused. It doesn't happen often, but we help with medical when they're short. A few little things here and there. They won't allow any more than that. We're generous at Christmas because it's the only time we can get away with it.
I didn’t realise I hadn’t subscribed but i have now . I have a filipina girlfriend. Ive been to the Philippines to meet her and the family. I don’t send her any money but i do buy her a few clothes which i give when I visit. She never asks for money. When i move there i will help a little as they are good people. Love your videos, your honesty and good nature shine through
Great video ! I like it’s important to have the mindset that you do Mike . If you can make your Filapina s life and family better I think it’s wonderful ! I would spend that here in the states on take out for the month. I don’t want to die alone in my lazy boy chair here when I retire ! Philippines 🇵🇭 seems like my plan . I’m coming in a few weeks to explore. Thanks 🙏
I agree with you 100% and I am in the same situation you are in with my Filipino fiance.. it makes me feel good to help people that I can see the results.. I quit giving to most charities years ago.. the only charities I still give to is Saint Jude's children hospital and disabled veterans.. most charities are scams with an operating expense of about 90% or more and you never get to see your money helping anybody except fake commercials they put on TV.. most of the big charities they are flying around in private Jets and eating two and three hundred dollar meals and staying in fancy hotels and that's the fact.. I feel fortunate that I have more than enough money to live on and when I see hard-working people working for pennies and I can help them I do what I can.. thanks for your nail on the head videos because I always enjoy them like everyone else..👍👍👌😎🤗
Nice video Mike. "It's up to you" is great advice. You point out the good and bad aspects but ultimately - "it's up to you." Best on the coming holiday to you and your beautiful pinay.
I'm appreciative that you are so open about the pitfalls and joys of living as an expat in the Philippines.. Glad to hear you met a great lady to spend your life with there, and sorry you had to go through a few bummers first!
Thanks Mike that awesome information brother, I find the Fillipino people loves their family and would do anything for them and a lot of respect for others too
I bought them pigs to get a pig farm started and sent money for food for the pigs for a year. Papa said he knew how to raise pigs. I even sent money to build extra stalls, within 2 years I could see him struggling, they weren’t managing the pig money right, 2 children sent 2 kids up there to live because the papa had extra income (NOT) then last year the swine flu. Came thru because it’s nasty over there and all pigs had to be destroyed all over the Philippines. I won’t do that again! It’s so stupid of them to make extra babies so someone else will feed them and raise their kids.
When you chat with a newly met Filipina online, most of them will approach you with many liabilities even under 5 minutes of conversation. Some may say, no food.. when you cook, they are some are very angry. And most of them are time wasters. Majority are lazy and they love to borrow. They call it Barrow. They never return a borrowed money.
A big red flag and a reason to no longer chat with them. In fairness there are nice sweet ladies here, but the heavy conditioning, some say brainwashing, to supporting their families causes much conflict and even dishonest behavior in the foreigner-filipina relationship.
I've personally found it very rewarding to help out the younger nephews and nieces with their education. We have a trained chef, who will spread her wings and work abroad soon. We have one training to be a nurse. I would encourage others to give a young person a break in life, and if money is the issue, you can make it conditional on them paying you back when they get abroad. Take care.
You should set a budget and never go off it,when you live there, your on a tight budget, you should discuss with your partner money problems, that you cannot give willy nilly to family, a major hospital problem maybe but that's it love this vlogs the saving of your lady and how you came about it
Hi Mike, I just found your channel and have watched a few of your videos. There’s some useful advice for guys thinking about starting a relationship or moving to the Philippines. Everyone must decide for themselves what they will or won’t give to the girl’s family. This is easier to decide, when you have met and know the family and their situation better. People who say support the girl but not give anything to the family are not being realistic. Do they really expect that the girl …and child if she has one to sit down to a meal when her parents have nothing to eat ? It won’t and couldn’t happen. Just set your budget and stick to it allowing for the occasional emergency, be careful because it can easily snowball from a small monthly allowance to a bigger one that you’re not comfortable with giving. That will cause problems for everyone, when you want to stop.
Learn to say NO. Yes it can be realistic if you set your boundaries. Other ones can get a JOB and support themselves rather than rely on you. I would never give anyone money unless it was my partner and even then they would have to be working making a good living. Don't sell yourself short!
@@6foot596 Thanks for your comment, I think it depends on yourself and what you want from a relationship, plus whether you are living there full time or just visiting. A girl who works full time will be more financially stable, but would not be able to spend hardly any time with you. Plus of course, a girl with a good job and earning good money, would very likely have no interest in an older foreigner. I guess it depends on what dating pond you’re fishing in. Just set limits.
@@TravellingMan20 the problem is later in life when she has been out of the workforce for so long it's hard to get a job again just like back in the west. Most couples both work all day to support each other, it's more or less the same here. Age is a factor yes when it comes to money. As a Filipino American I can say most of the younger ones in my age bracket which is 25 to 35 don't have a physical appeal for old ones over 50s but a few guys have some of them sending money over in hopes to meet them in person someday but in truth they don't care about these guys at all and hope to never meet. I advice anyone here never to quit their job even if money is low. It's very hard once over 35 and no skills. If you're afraid of losing her because of your age by not sending money then you're too old for her. Sorry to be blunt but I have to say it over and over 🙏. I hate seeing my friends here losing career.
@@6foot596 Hi, thanks for your interesting answer, but that’s not really how my situation is / was to be honest. Yes I agree with you about the work situation there. A job is hard to find without college education and if over around 25 years old. Many girls don’t even have a job, especially now. Thanks for your comments and advice, I appreciate it. I would never support anyone I wasn’t in a long term relationship with, and certainly not to stop them from leaving. I should mention that I’ve been there many times and we had spent a lot of time together, often at the parents home. I was pretty close to the whole family. They rarely needed my help.
hi mike just found your channel and subscribed. im going back later and watch all your earlier videos. im married to a filipina 30 years now. i agree what u saying here about helping the family and never send money until u met her in person. the only thing i would have done differntly from you is dont let janet quit her job. i know u want to spend lots of time with janet but sometimes u will need time away from her. also i feel janet will feel much better self esteem knowing she worked for the money to help her family. then the money u give the family will just be a bonus also to janet bank account. maybe even a part time job is good as long as janet is working a little. its nice u give money but it feels good also working for the money knowing its you helping the family. thanks for your video. i will go back and watch previous videos. my wife family never ask money but we send before sometimes just to help out. but after her mom passed away no one ask for money anymore.take care and looking foward to seeing more videos.
To avoid big disappointment you must have zero expectations about how the money is being spent that you are giving to the girl and family. For example: You may visit the family home and see rotten bedding, foam mattress in pieces, broken dishware, old damaged cookware, no soap or cleaning supplies, no gas for the stove, no food in the pantry, daylight coming through the roof, raggy clothes, tires that need replaced on the motorbikes, power shut off because of unpaid bills, unworking well pump and on and on... Now, your big generous heart really wants to help out! So you give a big sum to the family and even suggest the money is for replacing some of the above mentioned items. The family all smile, tears flow, they nod their heads and everyone hugs. You return to the family home a few weeks or months later and notice not one single item has been replaced or repaired! And the family is all sitting around looking at each other broke and expecting another big sum from you. You are left scratching your head and wondering what happened. You politely ask if the money was helpful and what did they buy with it? In return you get a vague answer like a distant cousin needed an operation with no details, or they suddenly need to go to a neighbor's house to help with the goats. By paying attention and carefully listening, you in time learn where the money is being spent. You learn the money is going to lottery tickets, betting on cock fights, alcohol, karaoke, music boxes, modifying the motorbike to make louder, tattoos, not going to work, eating out, showing off to the neighbors... You must understand in the Philippines, the use for money is not seen the same as westerners might see it. I hope this comment helps wake people up to some of the realities here in the Philippines.
By the way they also do this to their OFW children, rather than invest the money wisely, they squander it. She is usually an indentured servant that works overseas. Disgusting.
Yeah, getting the Balance Right... I agree with your views Mike, once you have arrived in the Philippines you can see how tough life is for many there, helping is certainly a choice & so it should be...that gut feeling when you do, should be a good one, if not...well, something is not quiet right...🤔 I have been lucky over the last 5.5 years with my Filipina, sure we meet online, we didn't even really connect with each other that well at first...we both had a couple of others we were chatting too that seemed a little more interesting haha...but we continued to chat, & slowly drew closer to each other. Over that time with Covid etc. the plan we had seemed a long way off...but in July 2022 I finally made it to Davao to spend a month in the Philippines with my Filipina, not to much went to plan, except that Nerlyn was as genuine & loving as I had come to know online. I will be bring her home here to Melbourne Australia in March so we can enjoy a well balanced life here...also sending her family enough to keep there lifestyle as comfortable as possible... Cheers 🍻
I have been supporting my gf there 5000. Pesos per month because she ask. For her and her family . I kniw they are poor from the Provence, so I do my best to help . There is so much poverty in the Philippines, some people there can get desperate. So it’s best to be a step ahead of them . I know also that because of my help to her and her family......it’s a big part of our relationship considering the substantial age gap . I understand this so I’m ok with it. All the points you brought up are exactly how it is there. I admit it can be a bit overwhelming with the way some Filipino think all Forigners are rich .. ..I’m definitely not,but I really do try to help out . And you are correct about the excuses ... I’ve heard all of those and more😃
Just watch and Subscribe to your channel, you're pretty spot on about allowances and support them a little. Another TH-camr mention in the past and I've observed in person is when you're having a nice steak dinner with your girlfriend and while she is thinking about her family that still living on a dirt floor in the province.
Good recommendations. You've handled things very much as I would if I had your experiences there. As a way to avoid irregular requests, I may consider just funding education for siblings the parents would have paid anyway. This frees up their money from that obligation that they now have as if it came from me. How they save or spend is nobodies business and therefore nobodies problem. Bonus is you KNOW where the money went because went there and made the payment(s).
I like the one when she tells u about the sick family cow that's a classic #1 rule never send or give money to anyone u have never met or not know for a long time will be in PH on the 29th cant wait to check it all out
Mike....I like your honesty.... You tell it like it is...I think that most American guys have a problem taking care of a family even if it's their own blood....I heard from other Utube channel that this could be a deal breaker to some ladies in the Philippines...So a guy has to count the cost before they make the leap into a relationship in the Philippines....I like your channel.
Salamat po Mike…My ldr fiancé there in Duma has never asked for $…one of my simple boundaries…got burned twice before so having it helped if they lie or cheat its over…now i help her …and family by proxy…and she sends me a screen shot of her expenditures…when i visited this year after covid to meet the family in person in Manjuyod they are just as good and careful as her and never ask me for anything …Sometimes i give when i see a need …or learn of it by asking …after almost three years i trust her and she says one telling sign is that if a Filipina loves her man she protects his pesos lol
I supportive my fiancée €200 per month. Then special occasions in addition. She has never asked money from me nor she support her family on regular basis. My fiancée has also her own income as she has work. Our LDR is about to end on January 2023 when I will move over to Philippines. Thank you for a good and informative channel. God Bless you both. Greetings from Finland 🇫🇮
My Filipino girl works full time out of the Philippines she works so she can support her three boys at home, she has never asked me for money. i do send some to the Philippines for when one of the boys needs something that she cannot provide. i enjoy doing that, it cost me little and they get satisfaction from it.
It is a tough call to make and is certainly different in each case. Some families will think that their daughter is now "rich" and will put a lot of pressure on their daughter to provide this and that. It is up to the filipina to set realistic expectations on the family with respect to what will be offered. There is a term "utang na loob" which means the kids are made to feel guilty and to provide money to help out the family, it is engrained into them at an early age. I have seen that most will not ask for money, but will always hint that money is needed. Good video, keep up the good work.
You seem like a fair minded person. Janet is adding value to your life and helping to take care of your needs. Of course you should replace her income if you ask her to quit . She will probably save you money in the long run. It is good that the money is being set aside in the (After Myk account). I would actually set aside a little money for her son for school or whatever a young man needs starting out. 5000 pesos is like $90 right now. Just subscribed and looking forward to your adventures.
I have a Filipina girlfriend who is supporting her own family and I am not sending any money. Our relationship is not based on money. When we live together, that will change.
Sir find out if they are able to work right. I have family there that are capable of working but don’t because if a few bucks are coming in there is no reason to work.
Hi Mike , I’ve subscribed to help you out with the channel, you’ve an interesting story and you’ve persevered and ended up with a good one 👍👍… enjoy your retirement.. Neil uk.
I'm a pilipino I understand what you do that's good, for somebody don't understand our situation they think we are not good well it is what they think.
You are very open and honest about the fact that a foreigner (in most situations) is going to be obligated to help his gf and his gf family because realistically they’re probably poor and dependent on the children for support. Some say that their gf and family is wealthy and doesn’t need support. Look around at her family, do they own their home, have a car, have a middle class lifestyle? Most likely they don’t and you have given your gf more stuff or traveling vacations than she ever had in her entire life.
So it is your 'duty' to provide welfare payments to the extended family as a term for her affection, company, or sexual favors? How far we've fallen as men :(
You are a honorable man to think the way you do. You have found a good person with a family that's not a 'vampire' for your $s. When you ask someone to stop working in order to be with you, you should make up for it while you are together and for a time in the future, to keep them afloat in case you are not there anymore.
I believe that the way you handled Janet’s departure from her job was the right way to do it under your circumstances. I also believe that most of us foreigners would do well to develop a thick skin and meaningful use of the word ‘no’. Money is a slippery slope no matter what country you’re in. I have loaned and given money to numerous US family members with mixed results, so this problem is far from unique to the Philippines. Also, consider this - if YOU get into a financial jam, who will be there to help you?
By the way Mike, my reference to “if you get into a financial jam…” wasn’t directed toward you at all; it was meant to convince someone to really give some thought to how they spend their money. I would do exactly as you have with Janet; it is perfectly fair - and, in fact, it’s actually a raise for her since she is able to save 3000 per month and have 1000 pocket money.
Mr sir it's pinas part tradition tor adult children.spcially who have job earning wage are expected to contribute or support help their.parents and sibling to finish education that's a given norm in most every fsmily
I'm half Filipino. Philippines has to break this cycle that you are all entitled to someone else's money. Break the cycle of povity there and educate your communities and families to all work hard. I am not expected to give my money to the families in the Philippines. I give it out of my own generosity and compassion.
Hey Mike, I personally don't agree with the whole LDR thing, you're setting yourself up for whatever, the percentages don't always work out not to say there are no great exceptions. If you have never met the lady and have no clue about her "real" circumstances, I would not trust it in terms of sending money. I'd go with the boots-on-the-ground method, once I'm there my exploration will begin but will never be desperate I'm content and it's my retirement as far as relationships go. In terms of lending money or just giving money away, my first thought would always be what did the family do before I arrived? I came to retire I'm not the end to someone else's means. If you meet someone that continues to bombard you with constant calamities within her family that would be a red flag in the words of Gordon Ramsey "Shut it Down!!!" walk away. Now once in a solid relationship, I would assess the situation more on a case by case in terms of helping the immediate family. Depending on the family, some know they can play with the emotions of the females to the point of them being pressured by the family into asking an ex-pat to help which is fine if the situation is genuine I would have no problem with it as long as it's not a constant thing.
Thanks for sharing, I have heard of some guys very happy with the girl they meet on line and also heard many bad stories so I think just go into a relationship ldr or in person with your eyes wide open
Don't be fooled, they got along before you and will survive without. Your just the easy answer and once you open the door....the tears, wails and drama will come flooding in. My wife set a $250 budget for her parents and parents only, the rule we agreed on when she was my fiance was they only got money once she got a job. $250 is enough since we let them live rent free in our house over there. My wife pulls a six figure salary as do I and her family has no idea our worth. If they did the drama would come from every nook and cranny like cockroaches on leftover food in the kitchen.
Yes I started to give money buy food for the whole family and bought oppo phone her dad took my Samsung Galaxy note. Anyway wife was good she had to have a house I bought from one her realtive. I never like the house in esprensan two. Southern leyte. I have a divorce but the Philippines does not believe in divorce. The father villaren knew the marriage counselor in pituian. He got the paperwork and pastor live next door married sharalyn. We live together for awhile but we argue everyday. So I gave her the house I bought and her father pinut-an captain stole my cook stove generator motor and other things she cut the door knob off the door trying to get to me I left. You have to watch who you get involved with she was very bad girl.
just be careful in the early 2000's I used to use a business center in Ermita and there would inevitably be at least 1 girl on their computer center asking money from at least 4 foreigners at a time , good income for them, and a lot of Filipinos are lazy its easy to ask for money from a soft target
i am glad how you put in a good light the Filipino culture of family ties and values. this is one of the good characters of the filipino people, children are obligated to look back to their families and relatives to adulthood especially their parents and grandparents. one thing you will observe over there in the philippines. though having a large population, you can count by the finger a few nursing homes, that is because it is not their culture. adult children will pitch in money to help their aging parents to have a personal caregiver, to which extends to their nephews and nieces -in need, to help this kids acquire college degrees, siblings are obligated by culture to help their relatives," from your christian friends here int the US and Israel.
Can't agree with the nursing home line .The reason filipinos don't have nursing homes is that they would be to expensive.Our lives in the west are alot more hectic ,we work hard husbands and wifes these days .Mortgages bills putting kids through school .There is always someone in the house or next door ,even up the road to look after a elderly member of the family we havnt got that luxury .Filipinos don't love there families any more than we do .My wife is a pinay ,she sends money home .that is why her parents don't work .My wife is also getting sick and tired of her mother's demands. Culture my ass .My mother inlaw had a business ,she sold it Why would she keep it knowing her daughter sends money All my wifes aunts have daughters working abroad .they all compete with each other .building homes going out to dinner every night while there daughters work so hard in the middle east left with nothing each month supporting mum and dad plus brothers .Many filipinos think that manual labour is a Mexican guitar player
@@mikesphilippineretirement you should... its your channel... youre just afraid you'll lose si,p followers who belive in the fairy tale.... be real bro
Why do guys especially older ones feel they have to give money to everyone in the girl's family? Know your boundaries! Let the girl work and make her own money too!
hmmm Where is she going to work? How many hours? Do you think $60 USD is a lot of money? Why do you want a gf here in Philippine who is not home with you and going places with you?
@@mikesphilippineretirement she has to work to establish her career and path in life! Just giving money at will doesn't help at all, it's only temporary and hurts her life in the long term. I am a Filipino American and have ties to both places. We Filipinos work hard and both sides of the family contribute. When you have passed away and she is a bit later in life she will have no career to fall back on. It's a mistake on so many levels. It's not just about you and your search for a companion all day long.
I'm sending very small amounts. For instance I don't like that she pays for data, while I'm still on a company plan and have it for free. But it is 50 to 100 pesos directly to her phone now and then. I consider to invite her and a friend for a treat. A restaurant where we can be online 🙂and I can have Filipino food on my plate here at home as well. I don't think there is anything wrong in that when you have been chatting for a while. I would have invited her out if I was there anyway.... And basically I have fun for the money I send and it's invested in our relationship.
Not very family has a daughter married to a foreigner. 2k php is only 36 USD. OFW that have kids have to still help support the kids and the family that is looking after them
As a Filipino I had to chuckle a bit. Honestly as guys we don't send money that willingly. Just like in west both of us in relationship must work hard and make money to support each other. Many of us outside in province don't make much money. So we see very old foreign men as ones with lots of money so we use them as much as possible. Sorry just being honest to you old guys but be careful because many times you are being taken advantage of. The young girl deep down doesn't love you for your looks but only for your money.
Hi. I watched your boredom video previously. One thing I do is invest in dividend stocks. I have an idea that I would like to try to set up a club to help Filipina women how to save and invest for their future. I understand that it is not a common trait or habit there. But it is my plan for the partner I hope to find to have something in the future when I die. (I'm 66). I do not mind if she has a child and would definately want to teach that child about finance and investing. Janet has a son, how do you get along with him?
I have been living here in Philippines 26 years and visiting for 42 years I still told family is I am not here Do not ask for peso . This way my wife was taken out of equation.
Another question is......should you give your WIFE money to support her children who are all adults and have their own children? All my own family and my foreign colleagues where astonished when they heard that i pay my wife money every month. Anyway, i have stopped work and moved to the Philippines and we have no income, we are living off my savings. So i explained to my wife and her family that i would not give money every month. A main point that made me come to this decision was that my wife daughter married a guy from the UK which has an monthly income of 800,000php. I did make it clear to him that if he marries my wife daughter that he would be now responsible for supporting the family to which he agreed.
I had an amazing experience. I sent money directly to an English teaching school for a young Vietnamese girl. Later, I found out she hadn't attended class for six months so I quit paying and our communications ended. Three years later, out of the blue, she wired me $ to repay all the tuition money I had spent and told me she had matured, felt sorry, and didn't want me to be jaded against giving money to other charitable causes. Blew me away.
Wow. great story..World is full of good people. Gives you hope
I supported a girlfriend in Viet Nam. Many years after we broke up she repaid it in a lump sum. I didn't loan it to her, it was hers to keep.
That happens once in a blue moon. The reality is that 99% of the time they will not repay you at all.
@@dakinejeb7890 wow a great girl..
I paid for my late wife's eldest daughter to go to collage in manila. That included room and board and all expenses. Just to find out after a month she stopped and would just play in manila. She showed no respect to her mother as well the last year of her life she didn't even talk to her mother until i told her she's very sick . Some children are evil you had one of the few that did the right thing.
Pretty much good advice but I disagree with giving money to siblings as a gift...Once you create the monster you'll be the one responsible for feeding it. These guys are smarter than you think, give them a small loan and they will normally pay it back...Then the requests keep increasing until it comes to the point that they just blow it off and give you the shaft. Best part is when your girl calls the loan due they all of a sudden turn the tables and you become the cheap, greedy and disgusting old foreigner...Wait and see... Better to just learn the word NO...and mean what you say.
good point Craig
Amen
Yeah I had the 20k loan to the brother for a motorbike...give him his due it was his workhorse but repay the 20k fat chance. But for that reason they know not to ask again. We have three kids so I'm happy to fund my family
Craig is exactly right!
Indeed they will push the envelope as far as possible (human nature), and you will start to feel resentment it, unless you're a complete pushover. Nothing is ever really free in this life, something much be given in exchange (doesn't always have to be money, it can be time and labor as well).
I concur with your assessment of “ cash contribution “ to gf or family 100% . Everybody’s financial circumstance is going to be different. But when you make a commitment, stick to it because otherwise you can ruin other’s lives, which in turn will end up ruining your own…..
I hope i did not say ruin other's lives, I think I said if your going to give monthly and it is part of your budget let them know so they can budget. I understand things change my wording should have been better.
Thanks as always for your comment
Nice words Jack! Your a man 👌
No you will be doing it for life and you will get no thanks for it the family gets bigger no one works more money for drinking and party 🎉 !
@@mikesphilippineretirement No Mike, those are my words. Intent is one thing, results are another. But again I concur with your concept.
@@annbreakable4228 I have some good days Ann…..
I'm German and I was brought up to be responsible. Responsibility for the well-being of others, especially family. I take that for granted. And you are absolutely right. If you only know someone online and don't know anything about the person, you quickly become a victim. Very informative video. I hope that many foreigners will heed your advice. Georg
thank you for your comment
I agree !
Nice video
I have had similar experiences as you Mike and I wholely agree, it's a in person case by case and judgement decision I also feel when you take a woman in your life your home you also take a measure of responsibility
I agree with that
Money can't buy love but try living without in philippines or anywere else.
I really do admire a man who will look after of his partner. Not because you're westerner, but you do it from your heart because you want to help. Mabuhay
Mike told what's he saw and it's all true. Well done Mike 👍
Wow, thank you
Don't send money period don't be a stupid fool
Especially as a retiree there is only one thing that matters. KNOW AND FOLLOW YOUR BUDGET! Every decision is right if it's within your budget. Every decision is wrong if it's outside your budget. Being scammed is no worse than a drunken binge, a fancy meal, or a 5 star resort you really enjoyed.
Go ahead and fall in love you old fools, just don't violate the budget.
thanks for sharing
@Carl Smith. Correct. This is how we operate our modest finances when we are residing at Cebu provincial. In the past we have assisted family with cash but we are very careful about lending any money these days, after we got scammed by family members and neighbours. We have virtually cut off the gravy train which has made us unpopular, especially me. Too many expats go broke in the Phils after allowing themselves to be used as an ATM, which is a false guise of being popular by the locals. Bob.
Since those are the terms of endearment, let's call it what it is: paying for sex and/or female affection. Many have no conscience about milking you dry.
Great video Mike thank you. I’m 49, never married no kids. As we know dating in the US is a challenge and often times the nice, good men get passed over. I’m one of them. I’ve done well in life, military retired and always thought about about my future wife and kids and planned and invested accordingly. I will say if I moved there, and met a nice girl, I wouldn’t have a have problem helping the family. I didn’t have a family here in the US. I can at least help another family. That’s my view. I will make sure I do it wisely that works for everyone. Thanks again.
Thanks for sharing Jim
Sadly nice guys get taken advantage of here especially when it comes to money. Need to be very careful.
Jim I would strongly recommend your visiting the Philippines. It’s a bachelors paradise. Lots of young pretty Filipinas with delightful personalities and solid values who would be seriously interested in a long term relationship with you and would be excellent wives.
You just have to have common sense and do things the right way. It’s not like all the Filipinas are from poor families. You can just as easily find a Filipina who comes from a prosperous but not wealthy family and thus a lot less pressure to help the family financially as they won’t really need your help. At least not all the time. They are also likely to speak English quite well. The financial asks from my wife’s family has never been bad. They just expect us to pitch in our fair share for legitimate family emergencies and to support her elderly parents which amounts to $100/month for us. We’ve also helped some of our nieces and nephews with the cost of college but college is super cheap there and we’ve only helped the ones who demonstrated they are good students.
But I strongly encourage you to try as you will be the hunted and not the Hunter.
Is up to you is your life you choice. But be careful they're poor people on there, what they wants is your wealth. I would be very careful if i were you. Not all people have good Attention.
@@anniedjaswadi thank you Annie. I will be careful, take my time getting to know someone.
I've been living here, and married, for going on 16 years (Feb 2007). I'm currently 67, the wife is 52, and we have a 14-year-old FilAm daughter. My wife and I were casually communicating online long before I retired here. I was communicating with several. We were both of the same frame of mind. The other person isn't real until you meet them. I visited the Philippines for the first time in Feb 2006, on a recon mission, I'm retired military. It wasn't where I was headed, but I landed in Cebu to meet her. I was headed to Baguio City and I went, it was awesome. A Cebuana, however had changed my plans, and I moved to Cebu. She would have went with me to Baguio. But I didn't feel it would be fair to her. No regrets. I love Cebu. I met her family while here, and I believe that if the family is in need, then helping them each month is not only warranted, but required. Personally, I wasn't interested in getting involved with that type of thing. I wouldn't marry into poverty in the USA, so why would I do that here? My wife's family was middle class and didn't need my money. In fact, some in the extended family had more money than I had. I offered to continue what she was contributing to the family. It was refused. It doesn't happen often, but we help with medical when they're short. A few little things here and there. They won't allow any more than that. We're generous at Christmas because it's the only time we can get away with it.
Thanks for sharing ...most families are good honest people
I didn’t realise I hadn’t subscribed but i have now . I have a filipina girlfriend. Ive been to the Philippines to meet her and the family. I don’t send her any money but i do buy her a few clothes which i give when I visit. She never asks for money. When i move there i will help a little as they are good people. Love your videos, your honesty and good nature shine through
thanks for watching. Most are good people
Thanks Mike 😊
Great video ! I like it’s important to have the mindset that you do Mike . If you can make your Filapina s life and family better I think it’s wonderful ! I would spend that here in the states on take out for the month. I don’t want to die alone in my lazy boy chair here when I retire ! Philippines 🇵🇭 seems like my plan . I’m coming in a few weeks to explore.
Thanks 🙏
If you come to Dumaguete let me know
Keeping them dependent? That may not be 'making their life better,' but keeping them from growing into self-sufficient adults.
I agree with you 100% and I am in the same situation you are in with my Filipino fiance.. it makes me feel good to help people that I can see the results.. I quit giving to most charities years ago.. the only charities I still give to is Saint Jude's children hospital and disabled veterans.. most charities are scams with an operating expense of about 90% or more and you never get to see your money helping anybody except fake commercials they put on TV.. most of the big charities they are flying around in private Jets and eating two and three hundred dollar meals and staying in fancy hotels and that's the fact.. I feel fortunate that I have more than enough money to live on and when I see hard-working people working for pennies and I can help them I do what I can.. thanks for your nail on the head videos because I always enjoy them like everyone else..👍👍👌😎🤗
thanks for sharing Richard
You could not have said it any better Mike. I just got to Duma tonight for my first trip.
how long you staying
YES MIKE YOUR ARE RIGHT......SMART GUY VERY LIKEABLE....SMART.,
hahaha ,,,,smart guy..hahaha
Nice video Mike. "It's up to you" is great advice. You point out the good and bad aspects but ultimately - "it's up to you." Best on the coming holiday to you and your beautiful pinay.
Well said!
I'm appreciative that you are so open about the pitfalls and joys of living as an expat in the Philippines.. Glad to hear you met a great lady to spend
your life with there, and sorry you had to go through a few bummers first!
live and learn
Thanks Mike that awesome information brother, I find the Fillipino people loves their family and would do anything for them and a lot of respect for others too
Yes they do
I bought them pigs to get a pig farm started and sent money for food for the pigs for a year. Papa said he knew how to raise pigs. I even sent money to build extra stalls, within 2 years I could see him struggling, they weren’t managing the pig money right, 2 children sent 2 kids up there to live because the papa had extra income (NOT) then last year the swine flu. Came thru because it’s nasty over there and all pigs had to be destroyed all over the Philippines. I won’t do that again! It’s so stupid of them to make extra babies so someone else will feed them and raise their kids.
When you chat with a newly met Filipina online, most of them will approach you with many liabilities even under 5 minutes of conversation. Some may say, no food.. when you cook, they are some are very angry. And most of them are time wasters. Majority are lazy and they love to borrow. They call it Barrow. They never return a borrowed money.
thanks for sharing
A big red flag and a reason to no longer chat with them. In fairness there are nice sweet ladies here, but the heavy conditioning, some say brainwashing, to supporting their families causes much conflict and even dishonest behavior in the foreigner-filipina relationship.
I agree 100% with your decision that you must have to do what’s best for you.
thank you Alex
I've personally found it very rewarding to help out the younger nephews and nieces with their education. We have a trained chef, who will spread her wings and work abroad soon. We have one training to be a nurse. I would encourage others to give a young person a break in life, and if money is the issue, you can make it conditional on them paying you back when they get abroad. Take care.
I like that idea. Thanks for sharing
Greetings to all. Thanks, Mike, for providing another good video; keep it up. 😎
Thanks, will do!
Agree 100% in regards to lending money, don’t do it, regardless of what country you live in, give it as a present for all the reasons you mentioned!
thanks for sharing
You should set a budget and never go off it,when you live there, your on a tight budget, you should discuss with your partner money problems, that you cannot give willy nilly to family, a major hospital problem maybe but that's it love this vlogs the saving of your lady and how you came about it
Thank you Jenny Mark and thanks for your help
Hi Mike, I just found your channel and have watched a few of your videos. There’s some useful advice for guys thinking about starting a relationship or moving to the Philippines.
Everyone must decide for themselves what they will or won’t give to the girl’s family. This is easier to decide, when you have met and know the family and their situation better. People who say support the girl but not give anything to the family are not being realistic. Do they really expect that the girl …and child if she has one to sit down to a meal when her parents have nothing to eat ? It won’t and couldn’t happen. Just set your budget and stick to it allowing for the occasional emergency, be careful because it can easily snowball from a small monthly allowance to a bigger one that you’re not comfortable with giving. That will cause problems for everyone, when you want to stop.
Hi thanks for your support.
Learn to say NO. Yes it can be realistic if you set your boundaries. Other ones can get a JOB and support themselves rather than rely on you. I would never give anyone money unless it was my partner and even then they would have to be working making a good living. Don't sell yourself short!
@@6foot596 Thanks for your comment, I think it depends on yourself and what you want from a relationship, plus whether you are living there full time or just visiting. A girl who works full time will be more financially stable, but would not be able to spend hardly any time with you. Plus of course, a girl with a good job and earning good money, would very likely have no interest in an older foreigner. I guess it depends on what dating pond you’re fishing in. Just set limits.
@@TravellingMan20 the problem is later in life when she has been out of the workforce for so long it's hard to get a job again just like back in the west. Most couples both work all day to support each other, it's more or less the same here. Age is a factor yes when it comes to money. As a Filipino American I can say most of the younger ones in my age bracket which is 25 to 35 don't have a physical appeal for old ones over 50s but a few guys have some of them sending money over in hopes to meet them in person someday but in truth they don't care about these guys at all and hope to never meet. I advice anyone here never to quit their job even if money is low. It's very hard once over 35 and no skills. If you're afraid of losing her because of your age by not sending money then you're too old for her. Sorry to be blunt but I have to say it over and over 🙏. I hate seeing my friends here losing career.
@@6foot596 Hi, thanks for your interesting answer, but that’s not really how my situation is / was to be honest. Yes I agree with you about the work situation there. A job is hard to find without college education and if over around 25 years old. Many girls don’t even have a job, especially now. Thanks for your comments and advice, I appreciate it. I would never support anyone I wasn’t in a long term relationship with, and certainly not to stop them from leaving. I should mention that I’ve been there many times and we had spent a lot of time together, often at the parents home. I was pretty close to the whole family. They rarely needed my help.
hi mike just found your channel and subscribed. im going back later and watch all your earlier videos. im married to a filipina 30 years now. i agree what u saying here about helping the family and never send money until u met her in person. the only thing i would have done differntly from you is dont let janet quit her job. i know u want to spend lots of time with janet but sometimes u will need time away from her. also i feel janet will feel much better self esteem knowing she worked for the money to help her family. then the money u give the family will just be a bonus also to janet bank account. maybe even a part time job is good as long as janet is working a little. its nice u give money but it feels good also working for the money knowing its you helping the family. thanks for your video. i will go back and watch previous videos. my wife family never ask money but we send before sometimes just to help out. but after her mom passed away no one ask for money anymore.take care and looking foward to seeing more videos.
Thanks for sharing
You are 100% correct. I found out how many moochers are in the family real quick.
You are very kind may God bless you
thank you
To avoid big disappointment you must have zero expectations about how the money is being spent that you are giving to the girl and family. For example: You may visit the family home and see rotten bedding, foam mattress in pieces, broken dishware, old damaged cookware, no soap or cleaning supplies, no gas for the stove, no food in the pantry, daylight coming through the roof, raggy clothes, tires that need replaced on the motorbikes, power shut off because of unpaid bills, unworking well pump and on and on... Now, your big generous heart really wants to help out! So you give a big sum to the family and even suggest the money is for replacing some of the above mentioned items. The family all smile, tears flow, they nod their heads and everyone hugs.
You return to the family home a few weeks or months later and notice not one single item has been replaced or repaired! And the family is all sitting around looking at each other broke and expecting another big sum from you. You are left scratching your head and wondering what happened. You politely ask if the money was helpful and what did they buy with it? In return you get a vague answer like a distant cousin needed an operation with no details, or they suddenly need to go to a neighbor's house to help with the goats.
By paying attention and carefully listening, you in time learn where the money is being spent. You learn the money is going to lottery tickets, betting on cock fights, alcohol, karaoke, music boxes, modifying the motorbike to make louder, tattoos, not going to work, eating out, showing off to the neighbors... You must understand in the Philippines, the use for money is not seen the same as westerners might see it. I hope this comment helps wake people up to some of the realities here in the Philippines.
Interesting, I know of no family like that.
By the way they also do this to their OFW children, rather than invest the money wisely, they squander it. She is usually an indentured servant that works overseas. Disgusting.
Mike we have a wise saying here in the South, in Louisiana: Never loan money to family…you give it to them. But you have to set limits. Good video.
Your right gcampbel
100% correct
yes true and sadly a lot of filipinos use the term "loan" when they know full and well that it will never be paid back.
Always good information, thanks Mike.
Thanks Roni
I have retired in the PI 8 years ago and have been married to my filipina for 30 years and your advice is correct
Thanks Peter
So,so,so, practical to handle money ,be it to her girl friend,or for her family.
thanks
your a good person, thank you for sharing
I appreciate that
Yeah, getting the Balance Right... I agree with your views Mike, once you have arrived in the Philippines you can see how tough life is for many there, helping is certainly a choice & so it should be...that gut feeling when you do, should be a good one, if not...well, something is not quiet right...🤔
I have been lucky over the last 5.5 years with my Filipina, sure we meet online, we didn't even really connect with each other that well at first...we both had a couple of others we were chatting too that seemed a little more interesting haha...but we continued to chat, & slowly drew closer to each other.
Over that time with Covid etc. the plan we had seemed a long way off...but in July 2022 I finally made it to Davao to spend a month in the Philippines with my Filipina, not to much went to plan, except that Nerlyn was as genuine & loving as I had come to know online.
I will be bring her home here to Melbourne Australia in March so we can enjoy a well balanced life here...also sending her family enough to keep there lifestyle as comfortable as possible... Cheers 🍻
thanks for sharing Kevin
Another good episode. Youre quickly becoming my go to place in Chicago traffic
Thank you Mr1012
I have been supporting my gf there 5000. Pesos per month because she ask. For her and her family . I kniw they are poor from the Provence, so I do my best to help . There is so much poverty in the Philippines, some people there can get desperate. So it’s best to be a step ahead of them . I know also that because of my help to her and her family......it’s a big part of our relationship considering the substantial age gap . I understand this so I’m ok with it. All the points you brought up are exactly how it is there. I admit it can be a bit overwhelming with the way some Filipino think all Forigners are rich .. ..I’m definitely not,but I really do try to help out . And you are correct about the excuses ... I’ve heard all of those and more😃
Just watch and Subscribe to your channel, you're pretty spot on about allowances and support them a little. Another TH-camr mention in the past and I've observed in person is when you're having a nice steak dinner with your girlfriend and while she is thinking about her family that still living on a dirt floor in the province.
Thanks for subbing. Yes that is how good girls think, the scammer will take you to a place that she will get a kick back on what you spend
Good recommendations. You've handled things very much as I would if I had your experiences there. As a way to avoid irregular requests, I may consider just funding education for siblings the parents would have paid anyway. This frees up their money from that obligation that they now have as if it came from me. How they save or spend is nobodies business and therefore nobodies problem. Bonus is you KNOW where the money went because went there and made the payment(s).
Nice video Mike,... good advice
thanks
I like the one when she tells u about the sick family cow that's a classic #1 rule never send or give money to anyone u have never met or not know for a long time will be in PH on the 29th cant wait to check it all out
Glad your coming, are you going to be on vacation
@@mikesphilippineretirementHey Mike No I spent 6 months in Thailand only because couldn't get into PH now moving to PH want it to be a permanent move
Mike....I like your honesty.... You tell it like it is...I think that most American guys have a problem taking care of a family even if it's their own blood....I heard from other Utube channel that this could be a deal breaker to some ladies in the Philippines...So a guy has to count the cost before they make the leap into a relationship in the Philippines....I like your channel.
Talk to the girl tell her what you think is best. Janet never asked for money i made the offer
LOL! Sending anyone $$ is ridiculous. The first time a filippina asked for money would be the last time we talked.
thanks for sharing
Great video your right on everything you say
Salamat po Mike…My ldr fiancé there in Duma has never asked for $…one of my simple boundaries…got burned twice before so having it helped if they lie or cheat its over…now i help her …and family by proxy…and she sends me a screen shot of her expenditures…when i visited this year after covid to meet the family in person in Manjuyod they are just as good and careful as her and never ask me for anything …Sometimes i give when i see a need …or learn of it by asking …after almost three years i trust her and she says one telling sign is that if a Filipina loves her man she protects his pesos lol
Very true, Thanks for sharing
I supportive my fiancée €200 per month. Then special occasions in addition. She has never asked money from me nor she support her family on regular basis. My fiancée has also her own income as she has work. Our LDR is about to end on January 2023 when I will move over to Philippines.
Thank you for a good and informative channel. God Bless you both. Greetings from Finland 🇫🇮
God Bless both of you. I wish you many happy days ahead...Keep me posted
@@mikesphilippineretirement thanks Mike, I will.
Since she never asked for money why send her?
My Filipino girl works full time out of the Philippines she works so she can support her three boys at home, she has never asked me for money. i do send some to the Philippines for when one of the boys needs something that she cannot provide. i enjoy doing that, it cost me little and they get satisfaction from it.
do what makes you feel good and can afford..Happy you have found a great girl for you
Hi Mike, good advice.
Hey, thanks
It is a tough call to make and is certainly different in each case. Some families will think that their daughter is now "rich" and will put a lot of pressure on their daughter to provide this and that. It is up to the filipina to set realistic expectations on the family with respect to what will be offered. There is a term "utang na loob" which means the kids are made to feel guilty and to provide money to help out the family, it is engrained into them at an early age. I have seen that most will not ask for money, but will always hint that money is needed. Good video, keep up the good work.
I think Janet keeps the ones asking for money away from me
You seem like a fair minded person. Janet is adding value to your life and helping to take care of your needs. Of course you should replace her income if you ask her to quit . She will probably save you money in the long run. It is good that the money is being set aside in the (After Myk account). I would actually set aside a little money for her son for school or whatever a young man needs starting out. 5000 pesos is like $90 right now. Just subscribed and looking forward to your adventures.
Thank you for your support Dodgerblue
very good info
Glad it was helpful!
I have a Filipina girlfriend who is supporting her own family and I am not sending any money. Our relationship is not based on money. When we live together, that will change.
You have a good girl. Hope your together soon
If she helping her family so will you or she will find some one who will money can't buy love but try living without it.
@@garrylafferty100 She isn’t that desperate, at this point.
@@MrCrispypata “No money, no honey”, right?
@@garrylafferty100 i would never give money
You are lucky to get money back while lending as most ask to lend and never give back
Janet is good at keeping her family from asking me
MIKE TAKE CARE AND BE SMART....FAMILY????? EXTENDED FAMILY??????
I try to be
Your very nice kind understanding person
Thank you
Thanks Mike I like your videos and I'm learning a lot .
Sir find out if they are able to work right. I have family there that are capable of working but don’t because if a few bucks are coming in there is no reason to work.
Hi Mike , I’ve subscribed to help you out with the channel, you’ve an interesting story and you’ve persevered and ended up with a good one 👍👍… enjoy your retirement.. Neil uk.
Much appreciated
I'm a pilipino I understand what you do that's good, for somebody don't understand our situation they think we are not good well it is what they think.
Thanks for understanding
Thank you for a good advice good morning sir hi everyone here from Philippines
Thank you for watching
You are very open and honest about the fact that a foreigner (in most situations) is going to be obligated to help his gf and his gf family because realistically they’re probably poor and dependent on the children for support. Some say that their gf and family is wealthy and doesn’t need support. Look around at her family, do they own their home, have a car, have a middle class lifestyle? Most likely they don’t and you have given your gf more stuff or traveling vacations than she ever had in her entire life.
thank you I agree with you
So it is your 'duty' to provide welfare payments to the extended family as a term for her affection, company, or sexual favors? How far we've fallen as men :(
Thank you Mike , very well put forward and you explained many side to one question
Glad it was helpful!
I LIKE YOU MIKE YOU ARE VERY SMART....WITH YOUR......
Thank you for liking me
How many guys could be supporting that family..................from afar.!!!! Be aware.
Thanks for watching
Once you give …there’s no end to it ‼️
You can always say no
@@mikesphilippineretirement give to your own family !!!
Thanks Mike.
Great video 👍 You brought a different aspects that other vloggers haven't mentioned. Loss of income from the daughter 🙏🐺
Absolutely
You are a honorable man to think the way you do. You have found a good person with a family that's not a 'vampire' for your $s. When you ask someone to stop working in order to be with you, you should make up for it while you are together and for a time in the future, to keep them afloat in case you are not there anymore.
Thank you
I believe that the way you handled Janet’s departure from her job was the right way to do it under your circumstances. I also believe that most of us foreigners would do well to develop a thick skin and meaningful use of the word ‘no’.
Money is a slippery slope no matter what country you’re in. I have loaned and given money to numerous US family members with mixed results, so this problem is far from unique to the Philippines.
Also, consider this - if YOU get into a financial jam, who will be there to help you?
Something to think about
By the way Mike, my reference to “if you get into a financial jam…” wasn’t directed toward you at all; it was meant to convince someone to really give some thought to how they spend their money.
I would do exactly as you have with Janet; it is perfectly fair - and, in fact, it’s actually a raise for her since she is able to save 3000 per month and have 1000 pocket money.
I had electric installed. I pay the electric bill. Also buy rice. And give full support to her daughter
Thanks for sharing
Most of your videos are to the point giving good insight,how to handle, girlfriend who is good and also her family., judiciall
thank you
Thanks most helpful
Most welcome
How much is "too much"????
to much = more than you can afford and feel comfortable with
Great video and advice
Glad you think so!
BE SMART......
hmmm smart
Mr sir it's pinas part tradition tor adult children.spcially who have job earning wage are expected to contribute or support help their.parents and sibling to finish education that's a given norm in most every fsmily
yes it is
I'm half Filipino. Philippines has to break this cycle that you are all entitled to someone else's money. Break the cycle of povity there and educate your communities and families to all work hard. I am not expected to give my money to the families in the Philippines. I give it out of my own generosity and compassion.
Hey Mike, I personally don't agree with the whole LDR thing, you're setting yourself up for whatever, the percentages don't always work out not to say there are no great exceptions. If you have never met the lady and have no clue about her "real" circumstances, I would not trust it in terms of sending money. I'd go with the boots-on-the-ground method, once I'm there my exploration will begin but will never be desperate I'm content and it's my retirement as far as relationships go. In terms of lending money or just giving money away, my first thought would always be what did the family do before I arrived? I came to retire I'm not the end to someone else's means. If you meet someone that continues to bombard you with constant calamities within her family that would be a red flag in the words of Gordon Ramsey "Shut it Down!!!" walk away.
Now once in a solid relationship, I would assess the situation more on a case by case in terms of helping the immediate family. Depending on the family, some know they can play with the emotions of the females to the point of them being pressured by the family into asking an ex-pat to help which is fine if the situation is genuine I would have no problem with it as long as it's not a constant thing.
Thanks for sharing, I have heard of some guys very happy with the girl they meet on line and also heard many bad stories so I think just go into a relationship ldr or in person with your eyes wide open
Where on bohol is your 15k apartment. Thanks
Panglao contact me on fb and I will send you the name and a photo
I do the same thing Mike
thanks for sharing Ralph
Sorry I don't have a Filipino family and don't plan to so I'll pass on this one but thumbs up anyway👍
Thanks for your support
i love your videos man they are honest and have good information I wish you much success
I appreciate that!
Don't be fooled, they got along before you and will survive without. Your just the easy answer and once you open the door....the tears, wails and drama will come flooding in.
My wife set a $250 budget for her parents and parents only, the rule we agreed on when she was my fiance was they only got money once she got a job.
$250 is enough since we let them live rent free in our house over there.
My wife pulls a six figure salary as do I and her family has no idea our worth.
If they did the drama would come from every nook and cranny like cockroaches on leftover food in the kitchen.
Support ,is ON must .Read the Bibel.....
thanks for watching
Yes I started to give money buy food for the whole family and bought oppo phone her dad took my Samsung Galaxy note. Anyway wife was good she had to have a house I bought from one her realtive. I never like the house in esprensan two. Southern leyte. I have a divorce but the Philippines does not believe in divorce. The father villaren knew the marriage counselor in pituian. He got the paperwork and pastor live next door married sharalyn. We live together for awhile but we argue everyday. So I gave her the house I bought and her father pinut-an captain stole my cook stove generator motor and other things she cut the door knob off the door trying to get to me I left. You have to watch who you get involved with she was very bad girl.
Sad story thanks for sharing
Morning Mike You is a very generous man I like that.
Thank you
just be careful in the early 2000's I used to use a business center in Ermita and there would inevitably be at least 1 girl on their computer center asking money from at least 4 foreigners at a time , good income for them, and a lot of Filipinos are lazy its easy to ask for money from a soft target
thanks for sharing
i am glad how you put in a good light the Filipino culture of family ties and values. this is one of the good characters of the filipino people, children are obligated to look back to their families and relatives to adulthood especially their parents and grandparents. one thing you will observe over there in the philippines. though having a large population, you can count by the finger a few nursing homes, that is because it is not their culture. adult children will pitch in money to help their aging parents to have a personal caregiver, to which extends to their nephews and nieces -in need, to help this kids acquire college degrees, siblings are obligated by culture to help their relatives," from your christian friends here int the US and Israel.
now lets go over the bad
Can't agree with the nursing home line .The reason filipinos don't have nursing homes is that they would be to expensive.Our lives in the west are alot more hectic ,we work hard husbands and wifes these days .Mortgages bills putting kids through school .There is always someone in the house or next door ,even up the road to look after a elderly member of the family we havnt got that luxury .Filipinos don't love there families any more than we do .My wife is a pinay ,she sends money home .that is why her parents don't work .My wife is also getting sick and tired of her mother's demands. Culture my ass .My mother inlaw had a business ,she sold it Why would she keep it knowing her daughter sends money All my wifes aunts have daughters working abroad .they all compete with each other .building homes going out to dinner every night while there daughters work so hard in the middle east left with nothing each month supporting mum and dad plus brothers .Many filipinos think that manual labour is a Mexican guitar player
@@darren5971 sounds like you married a blk
juanshaftpatel I am waiting for you to explain the bad please
@@mikesphilippineretirement you should... its your channel... youre just afraid you'll lose si,p followers who belive in the fairy tale.... be real bro
Why do guys especially older ones feel they have to give money to everyone in the girl's family? Know your boundaries! Let the girl work and make her own money too!
hmmm Where is she going to work? How many hours? Do you think $60 USD is a lot of money? Why do you want a gf here in Philippine who is not home with you and going places with you?
@@mikesphilippineretirement she has to work to establish her career and path in life! Just giving money at will doesn't help at all, it's only temporary and hurts her life in the long term. I am a Filipino American and have ties to both places. We Filipinos work hard and both sides of the family contribute. When you have passed away and she is a bit later in life she will have no career to fall back on. It's a mistake on so many levels. It's not just about you and your search for a companion all day long.
Mike if you could maybe do a video of the expense of rent, groceries and utilities, insurance ect. Thanks I like the videos
MY COMPLETE BUDGET IN THE PHILIPPINES FOR THE MONTH OF NOVEMBER. BUDGET BREAK DOWN COMPLETE BUDGET
th-cam.com/video/127CRlDN6vM/w-d-xo.html
I'm sending very small amounts. For instance I don't like that she pays for data, while I'm still on a company plan and have it for free. But it is 50 to 100 pesos directly to her phone now and then. I consider to invite her and a friend for a treat. A restaurant where we can be online 🙂and I can have Filipino food on my plate here at home as well.
I don't think there is anything wrong in that when you have been chatting for a while. I would have invited her out if I was there anyway.... And basically I have fun for the money I send and it's invested in our relationship.
nothing wrong with what your doing. Enjoy chatting her and hope you will meet her soon
My experience is that not all the children help support the parents; it's usually just the one who is married to a foreigner or works as an OFW.
Not very family has a daughter married to a foreigner. 2k php is only 36 USD.
OFW that have kids have to still help support the kids and the family that is looking after them
As a Filipino I had to chuckle a bit. Honestly as guys we don't send money that willingly. Just like in west both of us in relationship must work hard and make money to support each other. Many of us outside in province don't make much money. So we see very old foreign men as ones with lots of money so we use them as much as possible. Sorry just being honest to you old guys but be careful because many times you are being taken advantage of. The young girl deep down doesn't love you for your looks but only for your money.
hmmm interesting
Thank you! Maybe some realize it's just a means of exchange for 'feminine favors'
Hi. I watched your boredom video previously. One thing I do is invest in dividend stocks. I have an idea that I would like to try to set up a club to help Filipina women how to save and invest for their future. I understand that it is not a common trait or habit there. But it is my plan for the partner I hope to find to have something in the future when I die. (I'm 66). I do not mind if she has a child and would definately want to teach that child about finance and investing. Janet has a son, how do you get along with him?
Janets son? It is hard for both of us
I have been living here in Philippines 26 years and visiting for 42 years I still told family is I am not here Do not ask for peso . This way my wife was taken out of equation.
one way to do it. 26 years way to go!!
Great vid
thank you
Hello. I am visiting my Dad in the Phillipines this month. I was planning on giving each kids $10.00 bucks. Would that be enough?
no
GOOD ADVISE
Thanks James
What is the shine coming from the bottom of the door? Is that a reflection or a huge gap?
Your question made me walk to the door and check the gap it is less than an 1/8" The sun light from outside reflecting off the title floor
Another question is......should you give your WIFE money to support her children who are all adults and have their own children? All my own family and my foreign colleagues where astonished when they heard that i pay my wife money every month. Anyway, i have stopped work and moved to the Philippines and we have no income, we are living off my savings. So i explained to my wife and her family that i would not give money every month. A main point that made me come to this decision was that my wife daughter married a guy from the UK which has an monthly income of 800,000php. I did make it clear to him that if he marries my wife daughter that he would be now responsible for supporting the family to which he agreed.
Thank you for sharing Ian