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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ก.ย. 2018
- This is RJ Hen and today September 10th is World Suicide Prevention Day, so in honor, I'm sharing one of my stories of suicide. In my story of suicide, I'm focusing more on what triggered it, going from 0-10, to how the mind can go from no plan to a plan in a split second.
I'm also giving some key statistics concerning suicide rates globally while also offering a peek into my mind as I go through the various stages. I give some tips on things not to say in exchange for things to say and do.
Lastly, I share a note from one of my subscribers who, like many others survives every day from mental health disabilities.
Be Dumb, Be Crazy, Be You
RJ Hen
[Contact]
Instagram @iamrjhen
[World Suicide Prevention Day]
Date: September 10th
Tagline: Working Together to Prevent Suicide
[Resources]
suicideprevent... (US 1-800-273-8255)
www.7cups.com/
www.betterhelp...
[Follow]
Instagram: iamrjhen
Facebook: iamrjhen
Snapchat: iamrjhen
[Music]
Composition: Still
Composed by: Ross Bugden
Composer Contact: Instagram @rossbugden
Link: • Beautiful and Relaxing...
www.tristanbartonmusic.com/
This track is Copyright, Royalty Free and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.
It’s been a horrible life that I didn’t even ask for
keep on going! life’s not over. look at nature, recognize its beauty and let it fulfill your heart. please overthink the decision to wanna end it all.
@@falafelfelipe-9849 thank you. I’m still here ❤.
I said this to my mum once. " I never asked to be born". She just looked at me and said " don't evah say that to me again".
Love you! Enjoy the really simple things, nature … animals, get a cat / dog? Really simple things , try meditation, you’re loved
Same my friend i hate bipolar
I am struggling bad with mental health and suicidal thoughts. People around us try to help but they don't understand. If I don't make it through this at least after watching this I know I'm not alone in these thoughts and feelings. Thank you for opening up
you are not alone....it hurts a lot....I know
You absolutely will make it through it. Very tough for our loved ones to truly get it. Thank you for the kind words and please hit me up on instagram to connect and share more.
Hello, I watched your video with tears streaming down my face. I'm a mature woman who has always suffered with mental health, suicidal thoughts & have twice gone down that road. I'm still suffering. There's more to this but I don't want to expose everything on TH-cam. I'm alone & I'm struggling. I wanted to say what a lovely person you are.
You are not alone… breathe. You are worthy ❤
Hey there Hadi. I’m glad my video resonated with you. Really helps to know you’re not alone and that others are surviving. Gives hope that we all can survive and continue surviving.
I’m sorry that you’re alone and struggling. Feel free to hit me up on instagram at iamrjhen if you want to share more.
Thank you for sharing this.
A friend mentioned ect treatments worked n meds didn't
For me depression/bipolar or any other debilitating mental illness is like a Cancer, but one in the mind. Eating up the cells of our soul.
It's lonely, painful & misunderstood disorder. I hate my life, I'm rarely happy, I put on a facade that I am just to fit in.
This is a great message. I have been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts daily for the past 3 months. Nobody understands
I also have been struggling with extreme depression and suicidal thoughts and I attempted suicide in March 2024. Hope you know that I actually know how you feel. Good luck 👍.
Stay strong guys 🙏
It's not so much that they don't understand but Ive learned that they do not care about those of us who are struggling and sick
I understand
@Skye75 Thank you for understanding. Life is a struggle right now and hearing your heart felt comment is appreciated. It's nice to know that I'm not alone.
Was 40 in December and I live with this daily , I'm so tired and just want to sleep and go .
Don't know if you're still out there. But please don't give up. God promises a better future very soon. Revelation 21: 3, 4, and 5 tell us this. I encourage you to pray to Him. He will hear you.
@@SirSonic900Amen,I believe so
Depression is like struggling to live in a body with a mind that wants to die 😔
Depression is anger self hate shame isolation it stems from childhood trauma
I used to try and look at depression from a "fascination" point of view, though experiencing it, I was intrigued, and I wanted to document the stages. Then I got into the 10-13 year mark and I'm honestly burned out. But with that said, in relation to your comment, I've noted that people with depression don't really want to die, but want relief from their depression. There is no relief, so self-deletion is often the only answer it seems. Temporary depression is normal, it is when your brain forgets to turn it off, and then it becomes a problem. I also believe the longer an issue goes unresolved, it actually becomes a habit, referring to the habit of recurring negative thoughts. It is programmed or learned by our brain to do.
Suicide is the worst feeling in the world i swallowed like three bottles of pills once and almost died it hurt so bad. And the worst part is the days leading up to just laying in bed and drinking and not showering
This exactly what my daughter just did. She’s been in bed, won’t get out of her room, not showering. 4 days ago, she swallowed a little over 60 pills. They pumped her stomach and saved her life. She’s in the mental health hospital as I type. If you’re still feeling like this, PLEASE get help. The suicide helpline is a great resource! You may not realize how much you mean to so many people but I’ll bet they’d be happy to help you get help. Those feelings mean something needs to change in your life. Figuring it out may take a little therapy but that’s okay! Even “well adjusted” people see therapists. We live in a crazy world and everyone needs someone to talk to. I pray you’re doing okay today! 🙏🏼
@@JB-ChildOfYahHave you ever used a suicide hotline? Please don't perpetuate that narrative just cause it's a "suicide hotline". People whom are ready to die won't be convinced by words but people whom don't really want to die just needs someone to listen to them. If you have a loved one you can trust, talk to them instead and get support... not from a stranger unless it's a last ditch effort. The hotline might put you on hold for 20-40 mins... like me. You have to understand that it's like any other hotline and people are constantly calling. I gave up and prepared to pull the trigger, the one thing that stopped me were the image of my loved ones persistently flashing into my head. I've also heard horror stories of cops suddenly showing up to your door and ending up in a psych institution... have you ever worked at a hospital and seen how they treat psych patients?
Never ever rely on others to make you happy!!
I came across your video and suffer from depression. And you are so right that it comes in waves. Been battling this affliction since I was 15 years old
Thank you for sharing. Im bipolar and what I struggle with the most is the fact that I know that these depressions always circle back. Even when it's good, I know I'll fall again. I've stopped talking to anyone about this because I know there is nothing anyone else can do about it. Thank you for letting me listen a few minutes to a fellow struggler.
Never stop talking. If you continue to talk there's always the possibility of something new happening, something new discovered, but one things for sure... You'll never know if u stop talking. It sucks to talk especially when you're going through it but it's the best thing for you. Hit me up on IG at iamrjhen. I'm always here to listen and or talk. You're not alone 👊🏽.
Talking releases an internal pressure valve.
RJ...You have become a very important part of my life no matter how small you think you are contributing to it. What you are doing is the bravest thing I've seen a man do in all of my life. Every single person who watches this will be touched by your words and empower every single one of them. I love you man...
Thanks dude! Sorry for the delay in responding here and thanks a TON for the love, support, and well-received words.
The only advice I have for anyone struggling with major depression is to exhaust all help that is available. This means seeing a doctor, a counselor, taking prescribed medication, and stopping any addictive drugs. After that, you've seriously done all you could do. If the meds aren't working or therapy is helping, you have the right to want to go. I've done all the above, but I do not believe we've reached that level in medicine yet to fully understand mental health or how to treat it effectively. It will be decades before we reach that level to where people can feel normal again.
I'm currently suffering from hearing voices and movements in my head, mental health is something we don't really understand. I used to be a Marijuana smoker I quit some time ago, I'm experiencing thought broadcasting, auditory and now visual hallucinations, I've heard that people who have schizophrenic symptoms are sometimes people who have a history of Marijuana use.
Doctors don't give a shit!
I'm so sorry if anyone reading this feels like ending their life. I know what it's like when things feel unbearable. I'm trying to accept that 'doing my best' is just surviving another day at the moment. What's the reason to survive? I suppose it's because we never know how things will turn out - we might even find ourselves in a future where it was worth sticking around.
You might be right. - Thank you.
Death is a gift, life is punishment and suffering.
What
Death is a gift, life is punishment and suffering
Life on earth is full of pain & suffering. But life in heaven will be joyous.
Yes especially when we love our partner been together many years then in a blink of a second they leave and be with someone else...... actually we never recover from betrayal and heartbreak
Too true! I completely understand the phrase
Does anyone else stop eating properly and stop sleeping properly when they are at their worst with depression ?
Yep. It's common since there's an imbalance in your hormones and your circadian clock.
There’s a patient health questionnaire with 9 questions called PHQ-9 which is used to determine how bad someone’s depression is. Look it up and take the test and give the results to someone who cares in your life or to a doctor. They will see to it that you get help. Look into TMS therapy. It has an 83% success rate helping people with depression.
Unless you go through it you will never understand
I couldn't agree more. Bless you
I’m 41 and have suffered from bipolar disorder 1 and severe depression. Every day I feel like not being alive anymore. Life has no purpose, and they LIED. It doesn’t get any better.
Going through the same. I ignore the thoughts and keep going.
I'm bipolar 1 and I notice my life keeps repeating the same crashing cycles. I've lived and forgotten to take care of my mental and physical health. I've lost so much--mostly lost love that I am grieving. I feel that I have failed over and over with this illness and at 56 I'm tired. I wouldn't wish this illness on anyone (why I didn't have kids). This illness runs in my family...no one told me...I didn't understand the severity). The meds have caused weight gain to the point where I don't feel comfortable in my body.
My mind is so bad now I stop breathing sometimes in my sleep. I’m 35. That’s how deeply imbedded it is in me.
Yes not wanting to be a burden 😢
Trying my best not to give up on life😢
Ugh. Flexx! You got this! Survive survive survive. I know I know I know… easier said than done. As much as I know and as many ways as I’ve learned to get bk happy again it all mostly still goes out the window when I’m in that dark place. Please try to find that light, that thing that reduces the “funk” and “cloud” and use it to come out of that low place.
Hit me up on Instagram if you want to connect and share.
please don't give up...if you need to talk, I'm here
Its feels like a constant life of being knocked down and rebuilding, ive lost everything good in my life because of my mental ilness, its really tough just surviving at times. I think about not being here everyday and i cant help it i feel real deep shame and guilt for not being able to help people i tried to save from themselves, i see there faces everyday when i sleep, i lost the love of my life because i didnt know how to handle all of it, ive never had family to help me she was all i had, i never got help because i was scared to admit what was going on. She left and im on my real journey now of healing. I think about her everyday, i live by myself now and have been in and out of hospital, i feel like im broken forever. Im tired of being tired of this shit. I have ptsd, bipolar and schizophrenia, the latter of which i never told anyone about because i was scared everyone would think im mad. Im gonna be okay, ive survived an attempt last year and i know i need to be here and things will get better for me, all you people out there going through this same shit, please stay strong man we all gotta live, just get by man do what you can, it dont have to be big, just survive man i know it will get better. I love you all.
I understand you. Being exhausted by it all and feeling like why the hell bother?
I love you and Jesus loves all us broken ones. Wait for Him and your key to His beautiful kingdom of paradise
I've been looking into suicide lately, and was pretty astonished and heartbroken to find that it's every 40 seconds.... yet nobody is talking about it. Why?! I search it on TH-cam and the most popular searches are "suicide squad", "suicide girls", etc.. it's so sad.
Because everyone always acts like we don’t die so they block it out due to in denial.
I agree, I believe there are answers - I certainly need some right now, The only reason I haven't done it is cause I don't want to go to hell, even though it feels like I'm living it
When you have bipolar depression nothing gets better your doomed to fail at birth I was diagnosed in the 3ed grade now 32 years old and nothing has ever gotten better there no hope for people like us.
@@ThatGero feel the same way, there's no escaping this disease. I've fought it since I was 15 yrs old, 62 now and I'm simply worn out from the battle if life. People have turned me off to the world, its the ones who say the love you and want to help you that will hurt you the most.the wounds never heal
I’m bipolar and have had a lot of triggers recently. I was at a 8 today. Nobody understands mental illness. My family thinks I’m self absorbed and selfish because I’ve had 2 suicide attempts . I’ve educated myself to recognize when I’m cycling low and can usually ride it out but some family drama and the loss of a good friend to ALS TRIGGERED me this week. Thanks for reminding me it’s the illness and not my weakness. ❤️
I completely understand that Denise. There is just something about mental illness that people can't wrap their minds around. Its like telling a cancer patient, "Why are you sick? Why are you dying? You look fine to me. Just get up out of that bed and quit acting so miserable, you're bringing us all down."
Can you tell I've been there before 😅
God understands. He made the body, mind and soul and he knows perfectly all of its intricacies. He knows that each one of us is unique. We all have our own struggles and joys. This is the way God made us.
Jesus came to be our Healer, if we have faith in him. Sometimes he works lightning fast. Sometimes he works slowly, painfully, but he will not stop until he brings us to healing. That's what he purchased for us, by his own blood on the cross.
"Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all."
Isaiah 53:4-6 ❤✝️
It’s the most terrifying thing to see what is happening to yourself and not being able to stop it. I’m 49 and just so tired of the pain and self loathing. Im scared, yet I’ve already been in a psychiatric ward for 3 weeks recently. I felt worse in there. Im long term unemployed and have people who care about me including my 18 year old son who lives with his mum. Sadly I can’t hold on to that to pull me through. I crave peace of mind and proper sleep
I pray you get the peace you desire ❤
Pray for me!!!!! I have those feelings!!!
May god save you from them.❤
Same here 😢😢😢 can't handle this no more
I am tired. This life thing is hard. I can't take it anymore.
They are just feelings that's what I keep telling myself, and they will pass,I just have to live for my daughter
I really appreciate you sharing your story. I’m in a tough place. Mid 40s and I traded in so much of my life for an addiction that has irreparably changed my life. I’m so discouraged now seeking for God’s help. I’m a few months sober and the emotions are stomach turning. There are times that I am triggered and I become completely hopeless. I’m scared… and I’m full of dysphoria. The only thing I feel I still have left that gives me reason is my family. I couldn’t imagine facing this without them. I need help but can’t even find the energy to call someone. Praying daily.
I'll be praying for you. Remember This Side of Heaven we may not get fully healed, but he promises no more sorrow, pain, or suffering once we get to heaven. 🌻
@lisahall1989 thanks. Appreciate it. I'm doing a little better since writing this post. Still dealing with the emotions tho but I'm taking it one day at a time. Still sober. Thanks
The fact I didn't ask to exist, wonder why I keep holding on to this miserable life
Nobody asked for his/her own life... we didn't exist then... BUT there are some, literally just SOME people who see you...
Sheer life force.
I’m so done with this life !
@@moogs05 Life itself would be GREAT. It's "only" people whose first priority is to enslave others and create all kinds of systems to force their will to others. Greed and psychological warfare, basically. BUT every now and then we encounter good people who (can) remind us how it could (and should) be.
Nobody sees me
I drag my feet every single day. This is a profound sense of desperation 😢😢😢😢
Sad that it’s been 5 years since an upload. This man understands.
I just feel like my life has been one horrible joke. Sometimes I start crying and laughing simultaneously for minutes on end and I don’t know why. I just have these horrible thoughts daily man. I don’t even know what’s real and fake sometimes. I feel so lost and hopeless as if I am purposeless and I’m here for no reason man.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made don't ever give up. Please start watching The Chosen series for hope. 🌻
Lol@@lisahall1989
I’m losing control. I feel so alone. Everyone thinks I just want attention.
You're in control. You are not alone and I don't think you "just" want attention. Are you on IG? If so hit me at iamrjhen and let's connect. I'm here for u and available to listen and share if need be. Remember, you're not alone, hit me.
Hang I'm there..studying psychology and scripture helped me a lot.. And mindful self care..xo you are not alone in feeling that way..prayers for it to lift.
I want out of this nightmare!
I _understand..._
Me too
My son took his life on nov 10 22, this message, the way you describe your experience the depth of your words have touched my life, my heart in more ways than I can express. I needed to hear this, I will share this. Our family has been so devastated in so many ways since he has been gone. Thank you so very much for this message. This message is also saving me. ❤MPAE never forgotten forever loved. ♥️
Everyday living is extremely difficult nowadays, there is a lot of pressure & internal pain that we have to deal with. I've suffered so much over the years with a lot of things at the expense with being let down by so called family,friends and a failed 11 year relationship. And on top of that being diagnosed with a potential Life taking disease such as postate cancer, it's not easy man I find myself feeling very empty & emotional 😢 it's tough man really tough.
I'm not you, but I understand your words. Suffering hurts. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, Mixed Bipolar, a Traumatic brain Injury that causes cognitive issues among other pains. Never had a relationship that worked, lost my pregnancies and can never have children. As for your diagnosis my very elderly father went through the same and is 10 years free from cancer. I have a 93 year old Korean veteran friend who was diagnosed with prostate cancer 2 years ago and he's doing well today. My favourite cousin, (3 years younger than me is a young mother) is ravaged by cancer throughout her entire body and is actively dying....and I think, "Why not me?" Not her. I understand every day is difficult. I hope you get well. I hope we all get better. Nature and animals help.
@@Kristbjorg-Nymann do u have anxiety?
@@mitch5222 My anxieties have anxieties.
@@Kristbjorg-Nymann how to overcome sth that u are afraid of?
@@mitch5222 Well, I have tried. For example, I have crippling Arachnophobia and I did pet a tarantula 5 times. LOL. But hopefully soon my therapist will put me on Ketamine infusions for my actually severe mental issues.
Thank You Very Much for sharing the truth about mental health illness that can lead to suicide. My nephew chose to leave this earth in the last month. Unfortunately, family & friends did not know the depth of his despair in recent times. Thank you for mentioning Sept. 10th as World Suicide Prevention Day. Be Well, Therese 🙏⛪️✝️
People never care people are alive but once someone dies your loved
I gave this information to every authority in the H-U-M-A-Ns Carnivores family worldwide, nobody home too busy being proud of themselves trying to make money-toxic poison.
you have a birthright to receive FREE food water shelter clothing tender loving care, Womb to the Tomb for lifetime!!!
all we have to do is be nice kind and share and cooperate with the motherhood.
1950s group of humans, 1st time in history we figured out how to treat mental illness as effectively as humanly possible.
You have to be your own personal unique healer helper for FREE taking care of yourself helping and assisting Mothers be charming never harming creating harmony.
there are only a handful of thousands poisons that benefit mental illness without poisoning you to death making you feel worse actually promoting suicide frightening.
Mental Health 7; Marijuana Tobacco SSRIs SNRIs Tricyclics Antiseizures Tranquilize readily available for you to use personally being your own healer helper for free ...
So healthcare must be free, your life depends on free healthcare for free for eternity, you have a birthright to be your own Doctor healer helper!
I care. Can i be your friend?
I really needed to hear your story. I have fought with bipolar depression my whole life. Never been diagnosed until recently after a mental episode. The hardest thing I'm dealing with is I was so wrapped up in my mental breakdown that I didn't see that my son was spiraling into a deep depression. He took his own life on March 7th. Your story meant a lot to
😢
Sarah 💔 I'm so sorry to hear that. can only imagine what you're going through.
I hope you have good people around you to support you. I know for my own self, isolating is so, so much easier than reaching out for help. But sometimes you just have to do it. You need it.
Either way I just pray that God will guide your steps and make a way through this for you... I pray that Christ Jesus will walk alongside you every step of the way.
"Jesus wept." John 11:35 😔
🖤💔I'm sorry..
I'm glad i found this video and i hope you're still with us. I identify with a lot of what you went through and i'm in crisis now but i'm seeing a doctor about it this week instead of bottling it up and trying to deal with it alone. Like i said i hope you're still alive and in a better place mentally and thanks for sharing your story with us. It must have took a lot of courage to do that so i send my love and respect to you Sir.
I just wish death was like a reset button or a respawn to a different life, but its just so final with nothing after. That's it. And not being able to get this so called love i wanted from the ones to whom i shouldve mattered to in life... it's why i can't go through with it even though it's all i want to do
Complete hear you.. you not alone. I feeling this more than normal and due to the holiday time. Let's set some goals for 2024 and fight another year. I'm hitting the.gym twice as hard this year. I gave up alcohol.
God help all of us 🙏🙏
Hello. My name is Ryan. I like to say thank you for the message in this video. I've been very stressed out, and I've been having suicidal thoughts. My parents know about it, but they just assume that I need to just talk. But I need more than that, but they ignore me. My therapist tells me that I'm "Too young" to be feeling suicidal. And I'm just doing this for attention. No, I've been this way for years. It's only gotten worse, so why try anymore? My parents never ask "Are you okay?" or "How was school?"
I haven't heard an "I love you" in awhile.. I haven't gotten a hug in weeks. I feel alone.
Hey I just wanna say there’s no age at which you “shouldn’t” feel suicidal. Many times it is chemical, not a choice on the part of the sufferer. Who would choose to feel that?! I’m sorry your family and therapist won’t take it seriously. All I can say is some days it’s all you can do to get through it, and it’s terrible, but there will be good experiences in your life as you get older and I hope you stick around for them even though it’s challenging. You aren’t alone.
Hey there Ryan. Sorry for the long delayed response. I haven’t gotten on here in a while. Are you in a better place now? What’s the latest in your world?
@@nararabbit1 Depressive realism is a thing...
Life is actually very short. Then it will all be over. Whatever your beliefs, for sure we will not be on earth in these particular circumstances again. May as well stick around for a few days more, because it will soon be over whether you like it or not. observe the misery.
Yes absolutely why take your own life just to reincarnate here on earth again rather just be patient cuz sometimes suicide thoughts is temporary until things get better again remember life is short and everyone will pass sooner or later .just hang on
This is one of the most painful days of my life. I’ve been lied to, used, discarded, I’ve questioned my own sanity, been gaslit…I can’t anymore. I’ve fought for years, prayed, but nothing.. I’m done. I want out of this life
Sending you Healing prayers and Angels. You matter. Hugs xoxo
I'm sorry this is happening to you. Make sure you try everything before you choose to end your life. Make sure you have exhausted the medication options, SSRIs, stimulants, ketamine assisted psychotherapy, rTMS, ECT, and many others that I have not listed. Make sure to try everything and talk with your loved ones each step of the way.
Please don't ever give up. Please start watching The Chosen series
Just have alittle Faith in God and He will help you through this, can't say am well off but must attest that it has always been Him
Reading this comment section and hearing others’ cries for help is painful. But if a lot of other people feel this way maybe this suicidal feeling is on the spectrum of normal human behavior. Maybe I’m truly not as alone as I once believed. And maybe I can find just a little bit of strength to keep picking myself up
Nothing feels as bad as getting to the point of wanting to end your life. I’m there now i’ve never been this sad for this long and this much pain. I take pain killers and drink and drugs but they’re not helping anymore. I don’t know how much longer i can hold out , i’m tired of feeling heavy everyday, nothing feels good , i hate food nothing is good . I want to die but i’m holding on i won’t end it i just want this weight to go away
Im about to go...
Man I feel this so much I'm struggling so bad I just wanna live for my daughter and make her smile but the suicide says let go I just can't leave her 🥺
Im going tp do it. Its an overload of childhood ttauma. 1000s of ppl that have had trauma in childhood have suicidal thoughts
I hope you’re still here. Please don’t harm yourself. I know it’s easier said than done. I found this vid because I’m going through it too, but you have to fight like hell. Overcome your inner demons. You are a prize, and that’s why they want you so bad. Even though I don’t know you, I know you are worthy of a life because you’ve been given one. That’s something we all have to remind ourselves of.
I recommend you look for holistic solutions to heal/ relieve your depression. Detox your body and restore balance. That’s one step in the right direction.
@@psalm5175 mental i can’t shake this depression, it gets heavier everyday, it won’t stop its taking all the enjoyment out my life i don’t even want to face the light if day. I don’t want to wake up anymore but i will until i can’t
This makes me cry all the time, when i hear this and put it on loop. It makes me feel like it's not only me and my friends at school but it's more people that have more depression
Absolutely. You're not alone at all. You're amongst a family of great ppl, winners, do'ers. You have something great about you and inside you otherwise you wouldn't have bullies. Haters can only see what's in front of them. Whoever cared about someone enough to expend energy and tk time to F with someone who was less than. There's something about you, in you that they envy, trust me on this one.
🫠❤️
I get off the train going to work and walk about 5 blocks to my office. I walk over a bridge that goes over a highway. I pause and watch the traffic below me and think how easy it would be to slip over the railing. I could time it so i fall in front of a semi going 55mph. My wife gets the life insurance. Pays off the house and has a good chunk to invest and is set for life. My brother would inherit everything from our parents and would also be financially free. Maybe a younger person gets hired to replace me and would make a good living and raise abeautiful family. So much good would come from just sliding over that railing.
Anyone who ever loved you will wonder what they should have done differently. They will feel a guilt that will never be silenced. Your wife will never love the same and will forever feel like she is drowning, but never actually die. Just the suffering of drowning day in and day out. Your will put your self out if misery but that misery will then spread like wildfire to those who love you and that fire won't be able to be out out. I'm sorry you feel like life isn't worth living but I pray that God deliver you from this feeling In Jesus mighty name.
They don't want the money, they want you. You are loved. You are worthy of all the things in your life, the job, the family. I hope you can remember how great you are and that this feeling passes. I'm grateful for you sharing these innermost feelings. Thank you. I feel them too.
Relief from a fucked up world
But God gave you life for a reason...find out why
This is a real bad scenario. I hope you don’t do it. This is horrible 😮.
I don’t have a mental disorder , I just don’t like being in a battle 24/7
What do you mean? What kind of battle? Depression?
@@RJHen _Life..._
Ending the anguish .. Ending the non understanding the being called crazy or emotions. Its hard to be misunderstood
Hey you! Thanks for the comments here. How are you doing these days?
Good video,
I have lost my family via divorce. My ex wife moved in another guy who isn't bi polar, more consistent, and makes more money. The only person who speaks to me is my 10 year old son. My 13 year old daughter says she doesn't want to speak to me. It has been two months since I have spoken to her. I see her when I pick up my son, and she waves and goes on. My significance is over.
I am 50, broke and alone...I pray all the time for God to take me home. I think about suicide but to much of a little bitch to do it. I also can not really talk with very many people about this as if my ex-wife finds out. I will never see my kids ever again.
Oh wow. Sooo sorry to hear that. Life can be extremely challenging at times. Especially when going through a divorce. I was married for 14 years and my first trip to the ER and a mental health facility was when I was going through the divorce and separation. Definitely a tough time.
I’m here to tell you that it does get better. I promise.
Hit me up on IG if you want to connect or talk. Also would highly recommend talking to a therapist regularly.
@@RJHen thanks
Bruce…How are you today?…Your post resonated with me
@Deborah Clark Hello, thank you for checking, and sorry to ramble on. Things are the same, but I am focusing on me right now. I have a counselor and am trying to find one good thing I am thankful for every day..
I feel your pain, but it's coming from a different place. I hope you're well Bruce
People say I have the eyes of an animal. I didn't understand it at first, but when I realized that I have bipolar 2 it made sense. I always have my fight or flight on. My body is always on ready to strike mode, but I can't help it. My emotions are extreme or I don't feel anything at all. The "predator" that causes me to always feel unsafe is my own existence
I love you
Having known a few people that did it, it's haunting. You wonder if there was something you could have done or should of done. On the other side the attempt felt strange. It's a combination of numbness and a feeling of relief. The act itself was surreal, almost like a robot taking the pills and washing them down one by one with liquor. Then jabbing a whole pen of insulin at the end. Then waiting for the end. There was no feeling of instant regret or sudden desire to save myself. Then blacked out and woke up in the bed covered in 💩 with a horrible hang over. The embarrassment and the feeling of failing at the attempt made me dead inside and feeling completely lost. I did everything possible to ensure sucess, told no one, made sure i was alone, the note was placed so it would be found during the clean up but not immediately 😢
Sad to say, it's gotten worse. Now someone dies from suicide every 11 seconds, and it's the second leading cause of death in a much younger age group - 10-14-- 10!!!-- and 20-34. Heartbreaking.
Stand barefoot in the yard for one hour a day to ground yourself of toxic energy. Then fill yourself with inspiration. Fight to carry on. Search for one reason to live and you will eventually find it. I’m not taking my life today because my kids won’t be better off without me. They’re already without me. My illness separates them from me. My perseverance to change for the better, is what will reconnect me with them. That’s why I struggle on. That’s why I must get better.
Doesnt make me feel betrer others are in this. It makes me want to get out more
me2
Haha me too. Knowing others suffer doesn't make me feel any better, it just makes me feel bad for them and me too. Knowing I wouldn't want anyone else to suffer like this.
Life is not for everyone. I am forced to live because others selfish needs. What I can do for them is all that matters they show no love, I have to beg for signs of love. They stopped me from killing myself when I was 22 just to put me through another 20 year's of misery. Not worth it for me.
You sound just like me. I feel desperately bad for you. what you said breaks my heart. No one should ever have to feel like they have to beg to be cared about. Humans need love. I have suffered also from over 2 decades of abuse. I understand you. Please don't feel that there is no love in the universe. I just started a bible course with Jehovahs Witnesses. What i learned is that soon only good people will share this earth, and everyone will care and love one another according to the bible. God wants us to be happy and live forever . Psalms 37:10,11,29. I have been wanting to take my life for a long time.. but when i learned these things i learned that life does have a purpose. That was everything to me. Take care my friend. :)
Bruh 👀. If their beliefs in God are helping them be a better person a better human being I’m not sure that it matters if God is real or not.
I salute all who are still fighting to stay alive and those who are left behind.
Not sure if you’re going through anything currently but if so hit me on Instagram at iamrjhen. Let’s connect.
@g513 I know it’s hard to see that he is considering all the horrible things going on .. but Satan is real also and it’s His fault this world is so horrible. I feel bad and my heart hurts for you my dear brother because I know u must be in so much pain … the Bible says keep conquering the evil with the good. That means that there is good in the universe, something to hold onto . All this suffering is temporary. The Bible says that things will be so wonderful in the future that we will not even remember our pain. God will also bring back to life people who have died. John 5:28,29… there is justice waiting in the future… I know u don’t believe in God but if you give the Bible a chance maybe your faith will change. 🌻🌻much love .. agape
@@RJHen it does matter RJ because he is the only hope we have. Have u read the whole Bible? The message is one of peace and hope. We believe in a new coming paradise earth 🌍. A brotherhood of man. That is what is true that is what is reality. Matthew10:29-31🌻🌻🌻 please meditate on that scripture my dear friend. If you ask God RJ to reveal his love to u He will. 🐣 he knows your heart is very delicate as all of us are.. he will deal with u in great kindness if u ask with sincerity to show you the way.
I sadly can relate to this feeling
Are you still going to do videos? These are great. My son recently took his life, and while it has been a challenge to process, videos like this really help me understand his thought process. There was no clue, even in hindsight that he would have done something like this. He even said he would never do something like this. It was an impulsive event that was preceded by his girlfriend breaking up with him. Your explanation on how it went for you, gave me some insight into his final moments. My mind does not struggle with depression or these thoughts, so it is hard for me to comprehend, but my heart truly reaches out to those who are struggling. Please seek help. Nothing is hopeless and there are a lot of people who do love you. I know it doesn't seem like that. I feel so bad that my son was stuck in his mind at this time. There were hundreds of people that loved him dearly, and we had no clue he was struggling, despite me having a close relationship with him. Reach out, seek help, do not give up!
Hey David. I got ur comment/message. I’ll respond here shortly.
You haven’t posted in a while, I pray that you’re ok and in a better place!🙏🏽❤️
I dont wanna be alive anymore, just been putting it off tbh.
I hope u are still here. Please one day at a time.
Im hanging by a thread. The only reason im still here is because of God and my parents. But still it is so difficult to keep going
😭
I feel lost, broken, crushed. This mental pain is suffocating 😢
😢
Keep going. Do you keep a journal?
@@mpilonhlengubane8081 I dont keep one but im still fighting and much better actually.
I want to thank you. My brother took his own life 11 months ago and he jumped, which we believe was a because of a psychosis episode and drugs. I felt like you spoke to me as if my brother survived it. Thank you so much.
Man I’m truly sorry to hear that. I’m really glad my video gave you some answers and maybe comfort.
BRO IF I DON"T DIE SOON IMA JUST SELL MY SOUL....Even though it'll be all fake love I'll have people around. Being alone for years at a time. It takes a toll. I just want to die man.....ASAP. I pray every night that I don't wake up.
I relate. I really need ppl. If only a few. I have been alone to many days. We need love. We all need love like deserts need water
Sending you a hug ❤ stay around.
Hope a miracle meds can help
There's nothing like it. Quite unimaginable not only to those who've never experienced it, but also to those who have felt its wrath.
I am so happy that you are here, bro. God bless you. I will pray for you. I know actually what you went through. I also almost killed myself, a few times.
My mum.died of suicide and my partner I sure and now I am in a dark place I hope I can see the light .
I pray ro god ro show me
I really feel this...
Battling depression since 2005...
It's too hard...
Hey there. Thanks for saying that. Yeah you’re right. It is hard but we’ve all got this. How are you feeling these days?
For along time I have strongly felt a sense of worthlessness... Every day and night
It breaks my heart to know that humans suffer like this. I'm so sorry for anyone that has to deal with depression and suicidal ideations. I know is sounds like BS but you are loved. I love all humans and I value your lives. I know what it's like to struggle with depression and sometimes I want to give up too. But I know I'm not in this alone this. Many of us are struggling. You are not alone. Love you all, we're in this together. 🩷
You are too sweet. 😊 Keep hanging in there. I'll try to do the same.
You wrote a beautiful post.
You are so fucking worthy. You are not a failure. You’re an amazing human being that deserves to still be on this earth.
I'm ready to give up every day
Not even that "everybody will be ok but that "everybody will be better".
Everyone includes you, you precious Soul.
The world is better with YOU in it. Not just for others, for You!!!
🫂🫂🫂
It sucks so bad because nobody can even really help you
I’m going through this right now i want to but at the same time I’m scared 😢
Same❤️. I’m with you
How are you guys doing this week? ❤
@@the.seagull.35 Today started out rough. It’s strange, but as soon as I get to work, I’m much better. Now, I’m off the clock and I’m low again. It’s exhausting. I get so aggravated at every little thing. It’s hard to maintain the relationship I’m in because of my meltdowns. He’s very understanding, but the guilt I feel for acting out is eating me alive, and all I want is to be by myself. I feel I’m too damaged to be good for anybody else, and it’s a tragedy. If this is what it’s like ON medication, I’d hate to know what it would be like off of it at this point. I’ve overcome so much that I’m told I should write a book. No one would believe any of it had it not been for my family who’ve witnessed it all. A “success story,” they say. None of that means anything when another wave hits. It doesn’t mean anything when you feel pressured to be at a 10 when you’re at a 2.
I’m thankful for this channel. And thanks, for asking, Danny. How about you? How are you holding up?
@@blessed-are-the-broken7068 I'm... Holding up lol. Honestly I'm not even holding up myself. God is holding me up. He has been for months. I know exactly what you mean about work. For whatever reason work just takes me right out of that headspace and I forget about things for a while. Thats a blessing. Although for me its been tough since I left my job in Jan. I recommend you hold onto yours 😅
@@the.seagull.35 I absolutely plan to. Hopefully I don’t mess this up. Hang in there, and if you ever need some support, we got you! We aren’t alone, none of us❤️
I know the feeling! I go through it everyday! I have good days and way more bad days!
Suicide prevention day is in 4 days. Seems like an appropriate day to leave this horrible world.
No!
Please see a shrink.
There's more to live for.
Suicide doesn't stop the pain, you're only moving it to other people..
Think of the lives you'll ruin , think of the force of a world without you in it... you're loved dear
Don't you hate when people say, "Think of those you'll leave behind" when there is no one?
I've done enough damage here... I've tried in earnest.
You've touched another soul today my brother. Thank you for this story. The butterfly effect of this thing is crazy. Had you given in and taken your life that day that would have been the end of your untold story. Miraculously, by fighting through those feelings of worthlessness, you are mending hearts to this day. Thanks for being a voice for the voiceless and never forget that this video saves lives. Thank you for turning your darkness into light for the world ❤😊
I pray he’s still here 😢
Lucky those Who leave this fucked up world
@@bigyoutuber0150Nobody is immune to life’s horrors. Beauty and wealth won’t protect against cancer and other horrific medical conditions. Anything can happen on this planet, and we’re all going to die one day. I don’t want to die a natural death because it’s torturous, and I don’t want to be the victim of some horrible crime or die on the streets. I don’t want to live with debilitating depression or suffer from chronic hallucinations and paranoia. And I don’t want to be a burden on others who actually have a life to live.
Every person should be able to say when they’ve had enough of life without feeling shame or guilt or having people try to convince them to love life no matter what they’re going through. That’s pretty offensive. You want to live your life, live it; but don’t try to make value judgements about other people’s opinion on life. Don’t tell them that their suffering doesn’t mean anything.
Human are insane, sadistic monsters that haven’t even legalized what should be a right for everyone, not just some domesticated animals: euthanasia. It’s cheap, quick, painless and effective. Why are people still suffering needlessly? What a disgusting waste.
Agreed
I agree. @@omg28374
Psilocybin containing mushroom saved my life. it made me to quite illicit pill addiction after three years and it has also helped me to survive depression.
I was having depression and this constant, unbearable anxiety because of university stress. Not until I came across dr.chris356, a very intelligent mycologist.He saved my life honestly
@@Elizabeth-yx2ti I'm feeling the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety level. I am so glad to be part of this community.
Shrooms was the best trip I had. It was an amazing experience.
@Aldair-kq5ztYes he is. (dr.chris356)
Can dr.chris send to me in ohio?
I have been feeling that way for over 25 years
Man for three years I had social anxiety no friends no purpose failing my school, depression, and no confendence at all for years. I hate this life and everyone treats me like shit.
You are important. Reach out if you feel alone.
Just feel helpless,this was my worst Easter;Twice had written a suicide note and ready to end it all.. close friends and family been talking to me ,hate just hearing "everything will be fine" been fighting so long just tired and worn out
Sorry to hear that bro. I responded to your other comment. Sooooo glad you wrote this second comment. Means you’re still fighting to live. Let’s connect. You can continue to comment here but would be better if you could hit me up on Instagram @iamrjhen
Keep fighting I know how you feel I am bipolar and I’m in jam now it’s not east and you wanna give up but don’t try to hold out for another day
Easter is the worst for me now because it is just a reminder of a day my life changed forever
Still here
Year later here🌸🍃 How are you?~•🕊️
Suicide shows you who will be at your side if you are lucky enough to survive when you open your eyes.
Relate to this so much. Was diagnosed bipolar a month ago. My whole life or at least since i was 14 ive always had little things blow out of proportion in my mind. I start feeling like the world is against me and no one cares. Its such an empty feeling and when you fenuinely feel like you're worthless damn right you will consider killing yourself. Youre not in the right frame of mind. Youre present there but feel like an outsider in your own life. Thats how i feel at least. Im motivated to started making my own videos about my story, and struggles with suicide, depression and mental illness in general.
Wow!!! Sorry that I'm now just reading this but I can not even express into words how much this comment means... I'm actually now going through that wave... And was trying to explain to my girlfriend but your comment captures it perfectly. I wasn't supposed to read this 2 months ago. I was supposed to read it now. Thank you and much love. Let me know ur channel too btw so I can subscribe.
Tears😢 same here sometimes I want to take my own life😢
I was diognosed with bipolar 6 months ago after 23 years of battling everyday, the mania shoots you through the roof and the crash from that throws you so low that your trapped in your own world in the bottom of a pit with no way out, your gripped with worthlessness, hate, anger, pain everything you thought you had has gone and it's just you and suicidal thoughts because you really can't see no way out, it's so intense and so realistic, it's hard for anybody to fully understand how it feels unless they have experienced it, but talking helps them understand where you are with it and it does help. I've self harmed and attempted suicide on more times I care to imagine but nothing matters
How are you doing these days? Stable?
Thank you for your story, it struck a cord.
Obligation to family, friends, kids, is a torture to carry when your mind and inner self wants you to just stop feeling. And the guilt that you live with for feeling so awful, for wanting to take the life you promised to your wife, your kids. How can I, the father of 2 beautiful kids, husband of a beautiful wife consider suicide as an answer. BPD type 2. Medicated, dedicated and striving to find the solution to resolving the broken cog in the machine set to self destruct. To all those in similar situations, I wish you all the best of luck and hope you find the answers to some of the questions that stalk us.
You may have just saved my life right now. Thank you
Wow 😳. Soooo grateful you ran across this video. You're supposed to be here. Grateful you are. Please reach out to me on IG at iamrjhen. Would like to know more of your story. Please share and Be well.
@@RJHen Thank you so much for your reply. It means more than you will ever know! I am currently not on social media due to my mental health.. Which I think is important to me & important to mention. Sometimes we need to do what's best for us to make ourselves better & sometimes that means taking a step back & taking inventory of what really matters to us. I watch your video every time I'm having a bad day & it truly helps me. Words can't express the significance of that. ❤Thank you again!
Lost my mother and brother to suicide, I'm now in a very bad place right now, thank you for sharing
SteveO so sorry for your loss. I’m feeling much the same. Can’t stop crying today. Don’t want to be here anymore. Gotta try and be strong though. Hope you’re ok?
Steve O... Your mother and brother will always be loved. Guess what though... You are not your mother or your brother. You are not stronger nor are you weaker or an equal. You are uniquely you and your place in this universe is here and now. In a bad place you say? I know a thing or two about those dark places and as a matter of fact I just came outta of one... Hit me up... I'm on IG as iamrjhen . I know how hard it is to reach out to others when you're low son I take my hat off to you for even posting here. Please muster up enough strength to contact me on IG. Lets talk about it.
Davanan you too, please reach out to me on IG at iamrjhen. Don't go at it alone.
RJ Hen Thank you. I did. Still here. ❤️
@@RJHen why me? I'm so freaking tired of hanging on, exhausted, everyday 😢 just need the pain to stop
I just want it to all end
Same this my life is not worth liven anymore child hood was great used abused then discarded l hate myself
It's kind of a piece of shit here. @@RyanHenderson-qk5bp
My son took his own life 11/04/2023 he will be buried on 11/16/2023 he was 29 yrs old 💔
I'm sorry for your loss
I’m so sorry 😞 I’m 28 and it’s been on my mind a lot.
I know you don’t need to hear that. I’m sorry for your loss. God bless
I'm so sorry my condolences praying for you
I never realize this was so real
Not able to let go..Having Guilt monumental fear terrorizing worry and deep embarrassment and shame have me conflicted…
Hey its me... guilt and shame are my middle names lol. I'm really trying to let go. Trying to preach the gospel to myself every day. My sins are forgiven... Jesus took my guilt away. Just have to keep telling myself the truth until it finally sinks in and I can live again.
You don't know what you talking about
Exactly what I am feeling
@@benevolent2077 sorry to hear 💔 guilt is rough to deal with. Guilt mixed with fear and shame... its really difficult. I understand.
Jesus loves you. ❤
Sometimes it's the only choice
That kinda sounds like borderline personality disorder.. we tend to take things zero to 100 over things people will brush off. I deeply sympathize and relate to you.
Thank you. And yeah borderline personality disorder and bipolar are quite similar in ways and sometimes can be mistaken for each other.
What is the point of going on. The Life that I have from the day that I can remember is full of suffering. There is no oasis in the horizon.
Feel the exact same
First of all I promise you I'm not a bot. I know what its like to see no hope, no oasis on the horizon. I've been there.
You're not alone. 🤝
---
So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon.
When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)
The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)
Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”
“Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”
Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
John 4:5-14 ❤
I literally can't go on.....every day cry...... begging god to take me 🙏😢
@@gemmawalker5137same here I m 24 but due to social anxiety, depression,heart break I don't want to live any more ,I can't tolerate this pain anymore before my birthday I will kill myself
@@Nileshkothiyal when is your birthday? Do mind texting me?
If I die I die. I don’t think I’d be able to take my own life but I just wish I was dead. I’m 34 and still live at home. I have a job but it’s retail. I’m a failure. I’m on disability can’t live on my own. I’m just done.
keeping you in my heart, friend. its worth it to stay i promise.
I love you for your openness. Let’s help others experiencing the same….continue giving your truth and transparency. You’re here to make a change and a difference…. Please know this. You are appreciated and admired! ❤
@@x_aureum thank you. I’m trying to keep going but it’s just so hard.
@@darlingnicki4813 thank you I really appreciate it :)
nothing easy was ever worth doing.
I hate my bipolar
Yep, fucking sucks.
Try TMS therapy. 83% success rate.
I'm gonna lose this battle with bipolar. I know it
I don't usually comment/reply on TH-cam but prob just like you im sat here (feeling shit) scrolling TH-cam when I saw your comment 😢 ...as short as it was straight away I could relate, I just wanted to reach out and say ur not alone love... its horrible isn't it. Its easy to say 'keep going' but I hope you do, keep strong 💪 love, thats the only choice we've got.
& if you ever need to 'vent' im here xxx
I've already lost that war. It's just a matter of time before I completely fade away
Talk to me. Breathe through your pain as best you can. Keep breathing.
I'm so so so sorry you're feeling like this. It is suffocating.
@@gemmawalker5137
❣
@@randleburleigh2125
🫂🫂🫂🌄
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story with us. It will help many, many people, including myself at this moment. Much love and strength to you...❤️
The background music was very annoying in my opinion it wasn’t needed but a heartfelt message!
Agreed
I am loosing the battle
Im on the same boat
Me too, unfortunately 😢
Hey I hope you’re still here! 🙏
And fighting the fight