Thank you for putting that out there. As a fellow Aspie, I can relate 100%. I worked in customer service in the automotive industry for about 25 years and had the same issues with "overthinking" and not being able to leave work behind.
Full stop! Love yourself by refusing to say “I’m sorry” for things that you have no reason to say sorry. I started this two months ago and it’s freeing. When internally I’m thing “I’m sorry” or catch myself saying out loud now I say “Stop! Sorry doesn’t live here anymore” And laugh at myself. It helps so much.
Thank you for showing the raw and unedited reality of low mood. The amount of time it steals from you is overwhelming. I truly appreciate you sharing the truth about autism and your personal experiences. Please know the videos help others understand, whether for themselves or for loved ones with autism. I don´t believe you bring people down, I think you relieve a fear that they are alone. Looking forward to your future videos. Good luck with your work related stress : )
Two years late but: I hope you were able to understand how beneficial a video like this is. It's cool to hear that we're not alone in feeling the "quirky, funny" aspects of autism, but what truly makes me feel less alone is realizing that my "Low Mood" is symptomatic, and that others can relate. I dwell on shit like future revenge or past shame and it truly wears holes in my stomach and lungs and heart. It exhausts my brain. I'm listening on Spotify but had to pop over here to say thanks for sharing!
I appreciate hearing your experiences. I’m newly diagnosed at 27 and one of the most helpful things has been hearing the experiences of autistic adults, both positive and negative. I work in customer service and I’ve had many situations that were enormously challenging for me. I’ve grown a great deal because of it, but there’s only so much I can take. I understand how frustrating and stressful it can be.
This is was remarkably relatable. Especially the forgetting to eat when I'm tired and stressed and I've noticed too many things. I've only had my diagnosis for almost two weeks and it's amazing learning how much of my life is actually symptomatic. 🍋🍋🍪
As aspies, I've come to find that often times when we are told to expect a certain thing, being presented with something different can be a pretty uncomfortable situation. You knew what you were getting yourself into when you applied for that job, or at least you thought you did. You really never signed yourself up for this other task, it wasn't part of the initial presentation. To me, as a fellow aspie, it makes complete sense why this would be so distressing to you. Absolutely. Like many others who have related themselves in the comments, I found myself resonating with multiple points that you made throughout the video. To me it wasn't necessarily dark and depressing. This is just the raw reality of some of the difficulties we come to face. It does make you feel trapped. You are not wanting to draw attention towards yourself, you simply want this problem to be taken care of. In a distressed state, communicating important issues becomes that much more difficult to do. Your brain is like a computer. If you feed it too many things all at once it is going to freeze. You also have an instinctual component that is driving you to keep your attention shifted towards this great big stressor that is causing a disturbance in the natural rhythm of your environment. Paul, I really do feel for you. If I could give you any advice on this situation, I would tell you two things. First off, remember a simple formula for communicating with neurotypicals, that is: what is my x? What do I mean by what is your x? What is your goal? Think about what your x is, what you want to achieve in that exchange before you engage. I know your logical thinking will be able to navigate how to get to x, as mine appeals to this type of approach too. The other piece, equally as important if not even moreso is to remember not to shame yourself for going through things like this. I know that is very much easier said than done in certain situations. But it's something I've learned to practice more and more as I've become more aware of the things that make me different and it's definitely something that I hope you can start to implement into your daily living. Thanks again for another good video, Paul. Stay well.
Thank you for your comment. Today, I can absolutely see what you are saying. Unfortunately, when you feel against it and low, I am not the easiest to get through to! I appreciate your advice.
This is exactly what I needed to hear without even knowing I needed to hear it I was diagnosed with ASD 4 days ago and I have low moods in the same way you do and I’ve struggled so much in life in school and work (I’m 22) and as you said as much as I wouldn’t want to it But had I have known about my autism and had the ability to pull out the “autism card” it would have saved me from a hell of a lot of stress and anxiety that I shouldn’t have had to endure and cause me such mental struggles later in life and no I don’t think you’re a depressive weirdo I just think you’re relatable
Hey Paul, I totally understand what you’re feeling, the low mood, obsessing on something that bothers you to the point that your whole day, night or weekend is submerged by it, thinking about it non stop and trying to figure out how to solve the problem or process it while the people involved are probably not giving it much of a thought... Don’t excuse yourself for this video, I feel at home listening to you sharing your difficulties because they sound just like mine. It feels so lonely when you are the only one experiencing it, so it moves me to hear you and think « I am not the only one and someone else can understand me and support me ». Take care of you 🙏🏻
Hi Anabelle. I know the feeling all too well, and you do feel alone with it. I made the channel to let others who are in 'our camp' that they're not alone...whether it is working or not, time will tell! But it is good to know there is a good support network out there!
Sorry to hear you're struggling at times. This is what I have dealt with my entire life. Kinda sucks, doesn't it. I just turned 64 and wasn't diagnosed with Asperger's until I was 62. I could say it eventually gets better, but it doesn't really go away. I have been able to, not so much forget the issues that are constantly flooding my thoughts, but kind of put them on the back burner for just a time. Telling myself that I'm not trying to completely forget them but just set them aside, just for now and will pick that issue back up just a little later on. Them move onto something else to occupy your thoughts, if but for a short time. If it try's to push itself back into my thoughts I just kind of say to myself, no I've got this other I'm thinking about and I'll deal with that after while. Knowing it's still there, I'm just putting it aside just for now.
I identify with everything your saying so much. I heard you saying you were sorry. Out loud I said "I'm sorry for being sorry" at the same time you did. I feel like you are speaking from my soul. I feel understood in a way I never have before. Thank you.
Sorry you're feeling like this,I'm currently going through a diagnosis and I've had plenty if times where I've overthought things I've said to people in a conversation or thought the worst about something,hope you get listened to.
Hello Paul, no apologies necessary, as you realized yourself! I watched till the end and was quite moved by your words. Your mood. Your reasons. I had a rather low day myself...but your breakfast sounded better than mine. I am self diagnosed ASD. Have an appointment April 16. Hopefully someone will listen to us both. You on Monday. Keep making videos!
Lemon! IN my 61 years I have never talked with someone else on the spectrum. Even though I am just learning what I have is called, I have had it for 61 years. What goes on in my brain I have always called “working scenarios! “. I do it all the time! I have complete arguments with people that never ended up happening. Can’t turn it off, always going! I heard a psychologist say that people with autism have emotions that are like a light switch. Happy/angry/sad in an instant! Like you said no gray area. Just last night I was making dinner. Two things happened, nothing bad at all, that messed me up a bit. Not sure if it was the ADHD or autism but one, I turned on the wrong burner, not the one under the pot. Two, I left another burner on after I finished. The dinner was great, my partner loved it. When I started thinking about what I had done, boom I completely felt stupid, totally down. Fortunately I got to talk it out and every came right😀. I totally get what is going on in your head. It is our normal. Some things I do are play video games, I know 61 and playing video games🙃, and meditate. I found a book a few years back called 8 minute meditation. I figured with ADHD I could do 8 minutes. The meditation sometimes helps. Sometimes! Wow I didn’t mean to write a novel! This video is excellent because its raw and honest! Hope it will help lots of people like me. Just knowing that there are people out there like me is amazing! I hope that it all went well for you at work!
omg I get every word you are saying. I was never asked that in my autism assessment 'Do you sit around and have 1001 conversations in your head with an up and coming uncomfortable meeting with your work colleague or partner?'. and that waiting around where you cannot do anything but stew over your thoughts....its drives me mad but i have not found anything that works.....yet. I am glad you have done a video where you are being vulnerable and honest. Yes happy videos are good but we also need ones where we are honest. I just wish i could stop beating myself up when I am struggling and having a low mood, it just makes me worse....i am sure one day i will find a coping mechanism. Sorry to hear you are taking a break but I totally get it. Keep on doing what you are doing.
Hi Dawn, I'll get back at it eventually, a break is always good no matter what you're doing. The more I look back wt my assessment, the more I realise how the direction of it could have been a bit more directed towards me personally rather than generalities.
Thank you for this video. Been there whole my job career (been very good in it btw). Almost at the end of it I've been diagnosed, 6 mths ago, in my 50-ies. Understand you perfect. Good to know I wasn't the only one who had to deal with the same issue.
I totally get what you're saying about a situation hanging over you and not being able to focus on anything else. The myriad scenarios branching off and having no control over it. People will tell me 'dont worry about it til the time or until I know exactly what I'm dealing with' but like you, I cant just switch off or distract myself. I didn't know this was an autistic trait, I just thought it was an inability to deal with stuff. Thanks Paul ☮
II am at the Dentist on Friday, it has already started to affect my sleep and eating because I can't switch it off. The crazy thing is, it is just a consultation, no needles on the day! But so many fears all in one with that place. Wish I could turn it off! Logic is there to see that I don't need to be worried, but a nonsensical side keeps me bothered.
Mate, I hear you and I understand. Thank you for your video. Been dealing with this all my life and didn't realise that other people didn't. Never even knew it had a name. Hope it all worked out, and you're doing well.
What you are saying is exactly the way I've felt for most of my life. I've left jobs in the past, because I've just focused on something negative and my thoughts have spiraled out of control on that one thing. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety in the past. Recently I have been talking to a psychologist and she mentioned that I show significant signs of autism. I'd never really thought about it before. After research and a lot of thinking about my past I am 100% certain I have autism. I have an appointment in a few weeks with a psychiatrist for an official diagnosis. I work in retail and I've learnt that unless I'm in the department I know lots of information about, I stress out and have a meltdown. I've learnt that the way I get through the day is being able to drop information dumps on people all day. If I'm in a department I don't know much about I can't interact with customers and that's why I can't handle the day.
Me too. I also had to go private. It was going to be a 4 month wait for public. My current workplace is really good about my anxiety, but having that diagnosis, I will be able to say. This is why I get anxious and these are the things that set me off. I don't just get anxiety for no reason. And hopefully them, and me, will have a better understanding and be able to work with that.
* This is my feelings everyday that I know I have an appointment/a phone call/have to pick up medication/have to talk to Anyone ever. I respect and appreciate this genuine honesty about the "low" that comes in.
Thanks for posting these. I just got diagnosed at 25 and I find you very relatable. Listening to your videos is very relaxing and helping with my own burnout.
> Its nearly 5 o'clock and I haven't eaten. This hit me hard right now. I'd been having a rough/long week at work, and then yesterday I was excited to get to see Shang-Chi, and it wasn't until 7 PM that I realised I was hungry and hadn't eaten all day. That's something I need to work on.
@@AdultwithAutism No worries 😎I think my comment was held because I commented on too many of your videos In such a short amount of time…maybe YT was making sure I wasn’t spamming or something.. 😅😅😅
Lemon! Really enjoying your videos Paul - the way you speak is refreshingly different and much easier for me to relate to. Looking forward to watching more :D I suspect I have autism (37 now) and have been trying to fill out the self-referral form for several months now, but having a 5 year old + working from home + Covid + other life circumstances mean I am finding it incredibly difficult to find the focus and uninterrupted time I feel I need to do it "right". If the schools stay open long enough, I may finally get it done this month!
I would really like to watch a video in which you tell us about your childhood. I've been feeling different my whole life and I KNOW I am. But I've always felt a bit too protective of myself, so my doubts always stayed in my own mind. I stumbled upon some videos from people with Autism during these few months, including yours. It was all so mind opening! I can't and don't want to self diagnose, so I think I'll have to seek for some advice from specialists and let my guard down for once. Here in Italy I don't know how my doubts will be received and if I'll find any specialist that knows how to help me cope, but I really know I have to. Pardon me if my English looks a bit strange 😅
I’m having a very low mood day today and just found this video and it’s so reassuring to hear it’s a normal part of autism, I have a few prob silly little things that are on my mind constantly and I’m unable to let them go! It’s like carrying a heavy weight with you everywhere you go. I do feel sulky like you say, I hope your issue gets solved soon and your free of this feeling. Thx for your very valuable videos 😊
Lemon! Haha Thank you for your videos. Your experiences are so nuanced; I listen to you so I can get the language to describe my own experience. There are just so many little perspective things about being autistic that are hard to describe to others, and they affect every aspect of our being! I appreciate your vulnerability!
There's no need to apologize to us- if someone ain't interested then they'll stop watching. Your humour still gives me a giggle despite the seriousness of this video. This was informative and helpful so thank you for sharing, I imagine it must have been difficult. After my son was diagnosed with ASD I have been grappling with if I'm also autistic or if i only think that because iv been surrounding myself in neuro-diversity information the last 3 years to better help and understand my son. I'm telling you this because 8:00 in was a bit of a shock for me as I didn't realise that could be an autism trait. I thought everyone felt like how you described.... until I got older and it took so much longer to 'get out of my own head' as I call it and people started noticing. Different people telling me I overthink things (even if I hadn't at that point, id simply listed off the things that person might have meant in space of 10seconds without effort). Or I take things too much to heart when it's not like I was whinging or crying.... I just couldn't turn my brain off from thinking about whatever it was too the point of exhaustion. Anyway, I thought it was just a quirk of mine because that's what people tell me , it's nice to know thats not the case. Thank you. Your video was beneficial and LEMON! You owe me a biscuit 😁
I deal with it very similar to you but I really like how yo put it together saying because your bother about a work thing it puts you out until you can take care of it. Recently diagnosed and I spend a lot of time watching autism Chanel’s. Thanks for this topic this is an area that I am suffocating with. Just for jokes “lemons” but keep it up I appreciate this content. We’re not alone.
We're not, and the comments were all held for review for this topic for some reason. It was only by chance I found them, and it's been really positive to read!
Adult with Autism oh how challenging to put yourself out there so real and not get the feedback for validation 🥲 Oh yes, this is huge and I watch myself and my oldest son struggle with this. Mutual respect is incredibly RARE! Talking to the shampoo. Rumination of events and conversations suck. The anxiety of a future conversation being rehearsed is hell. That everyone doesn’t deal with this and we do makes my heart break. Forgetting to eat and drink. As a mom with two boys in this I have felt like my only reason to exist is to remind them to eat and drink and sleep and I can’t sleep until I see they have met at least the bare minimum of doing so. Not being able to turn the mind off is total torture. Exhaustion. I describe it as that feeling in my brain like the dvd spinning in the player yet never engaging to just play... spinning all night long. Thank you for putting it to words, you have a gift here ❤️
I don’t think you were negative I thought you were honest. I love your content. Also, you wouldn’t apologize for being happy so don’t apologize for being low on work or “down“ baby
Rumination is the term used in the USA. I don’t think there is a cure or distraction to end it in the Autistic mind. I had a job that I had trained at college for. I went to that trouble so that I would not have to interact with customers yet the companies I worked for insisted I did interact with the customers while severely limiting what I was allow to say to them. I had to leave that career because it was a built in problem I couldn’t solve. It was extremely frustrating. I understand what you are saying and I sincerely hope you will feel better by the middle of the week.
Hi Paul. I appreciate your videos. I'm un-diagnosed (44yo) but relate a lot to your stories. Especially the workplace issues I can relate to. I'm wondering if I have pushed my ambitions too far with going from an IT tech role last year to an architect role, with a lot more human interaction and conflict discussions. The tech role was just getting boring though. Anyway, I also like you're covering the whole range of moods etc. Down to earth and not all hyper-happy.
Paul, thank you for sharing this. Yes, this topic can be depressing, but people need to hear and understand the highs AND lows. I can't speak for everyone else, but your videos are helping me. I'm learning more about being on the spectrum, and have been trying to start my own vlog for a while now. I keep putting it off, but yours have inspired me to keep trying. Just a heads up, I tried reaching out to you on Instagram.
I appreciate that. I still get anxious turning the camera on as I always feel I won't get what I need to, to come out properly. I've neglected my Instagram for a while, I didn't ignore you, apologies.
I have been researching autism and emotional dysregulation because I semi-often fall into low/dark moods similar to what you described. I actually had a hard time finding info to describe the relationship about this, or if it was even a sign of autism, and then I found your video. What you described is exactly what happens to me in a dark mood--reliving the million scenarios, everything is terrible/ruined, from a small or large happening--It helps so much to see that I'm not alone in this and that the low moods in this form are present in autistic individuals. Do you happen to have any suggestions for more info on this subject in particular? I'm trying to understand why I fall into these moods and to make sure they're not from another mental health issue. Thank you.
Unfortunately I don't. I rarely research, I generally just talk from my perspective so I don't know much about it outside of how it happens for myself.
I put in a grievance because I wasn't diagnosed at the time but on the pathway and the manager said I need to prove it or they won't support me I told her I have proof I'm on a waiting list she said it's not a diagnosis I shouted at her I have nothing to prove to you and by law I don't have to I don't normally do that but I felt attacked can't wait til this idiot sees the paper work as she said it was all in my head
I know the feeling! I needed the paperwork to be heard to, it was a horrendous feeling! But for your employer to be forced to do something, they do need the evidence. It is why I am strong advocate of being assessed, and why self diagnosis doesn't help people in a workplace...personally it is fine. But I do share the pain, I remember as clear as day how it made me feel. Just try to focus on when the paperwork comes through and the weight it'll hopefully lift!
Since I found out about my diagnosis I am pretty numb but sad I rang my dad and told him and his answer was in a sarky tone well you was right then wasn't you Emma. It's made me quiet and hardly eat drink do things I enjoy. 😢
It is tough, the harder part is making our judgement more important than others. It took me a lifetime to give myself the level of importance I gave others. You need to value your input too.
This is because we have a sense of the way reality should actually be, where as everyone else is focused on making reality the way they want it to be. These two things are not in line with eachother.
Just turn the news on, and it will show you nothing but person made issues. None of them are out of human control. That reality others want, is destroying everything...yet we're the 'weird ones' apparently!
All of us with autism do have and completely understand the issue and have similar situation trigger warning I’ve heard things so bad why I’ve been it up in the hospital for weeks at a time was suicidal and self harm thoughts and depression and unable to control how I’m feeling
Sorry to hear that, I do understand the burden of the weight it brings when you don't feel stronger than your thought process. Certainly not fun times!
Exercises like tai chi moving in set patterns helps Autistic woes. People need give working Autistics lot more credit, day to day dealing with people and keeping schedules, suffering other's misunderstandings the worst. Self-employed is only way, even nurses can work registry or per diem, piss everyone off then leave to next job :)) small business forced interactions, good lord only young Autists can endure ~ myself >40 years successfully operating retail/service business but survived with 3 days of complete solitude each week, whole summers backpacking mostly alone, but aging catches up and no rewards given or expected sir, well maybe a little sympathy a tad bit of understanding but forget it ! human nature wields large clubs while down that gauntlet Autists stumble, "the most punished people I know" ~~
True. The solitude and recharge is the most important aspect of my life, to ensure I can do absolutely anything else, even a quick trip to the shop to get essentials isn't a simple task.
When I am really down you should hear the vile & hateful insults I speak in my head at everyone I see! And I used to be such a nice person. Lol. It sure is insane to be turned into someone you know you're not. I know that at my core I'm not a hateful, spiteful person.
not just you.. to me it's like subconscious thoughts are all conscious.. and some of us have hyperactive minds and huge processors running at max capacity to sort thorough all the huge data inputs just to appear on the outside.. pretty average honestly not even that impressive but still doing 10x the work... and some days its just like a computer freezing up. 856 processes have been running for a week all in the foreground, overlapping, and the whole system finally just lags or stops completely or blows up 😕 no shame in using the label to help explain why what looks average on the outside is no longer functioning on the inside of you need to
Thank you for putting that out there. As a fellow Aspie, I can relate 100%. I worked in customer service in the automotive industry for about 25 years and had the same issues with "overthinking" and not being able to leave work behind.
Full stop! Love yourself by refusing to say “I’m sorry” for things that you have no reason to say sorry. I started this two months ago and it’s freeing. When internally I’m thing “I’m sorry” or catch myself saying out loud now I say “Stop! Sorry doesn’t live here anymore” And laugh at myself. It helps so much.
Thank you for showing the raw and unedited reality of low mood. The amount of time it steals from you is overwhelming. I truly appreciate you sharing the truth about autism and your personal experiences. Please know the videos help others understand, whether for themselves or for loved ones with autism. I don´t believe you bring people down, I think you relieve a fear that they are alone. Looking forward to your future videos. Good luck with your work related stress : )
Thank you, I really appreciate that.
Two years late but: I hope you were able to understand how beneficial a video like this is.
It's cool to hear that we're not alone in feeling the "quirky, funny" aspects of autism, but what truly makes me feel less alone is realizing that my "Low Mood" is symptomatic, and that others can relate.
I dwell on shit like future revenge or past shame and it truly wears holes in my stomach and lungs and heart. It exhausts my brain.
I'm listening on Spotify but had to pop over here to say thanks for sharing!
Thank you, I appreciate you took the time to say that 👍🏻
Ugh...I feel this to the bone. Thank you for sharing...it makes me feel less alone. Don't apologize...this is your calling. ❤
Thank you 👍🏻
I appreciate hearing your experiences. I’m newly diagnosed at 27 and one of the most helpful things has been hearing the experiences of autistic adults, both positive and negative. I work in customer service and I’ve had many situations that were enormously challenging for me. I’ve grown a great deal because of it, but there’s only so much I can take. I understand how frustrating and stressful it can be.
This is was remarkably relatable. Especially the forgetting to eat when I'm tired and stressed and I've noticed too many things. I've only had my diagnosis for almost two weeks and it's amazing learning how much of my life is actually symptomatic. 🍋🍋🍪
As aspies, I've come to find that often times when we are told to expect a certain thing, being presented with something different can be a pretty uncomfortable situation. You knew what you were getting yourself into when you applied for that job, or at least you thought you did. You really never signed yourself up for this other task, it wasn't part of the initial presentation. To me, as a fellow aspie, it makes complete sense why this would be so distressing to you. Absolutely. Like many others who have related themselves in the comments, I found myself resonating with multiple points that you made throughout the video. To me it wasn't necessarily dark and depressing. This is just the raw reality of some of the difficulties we come to face. It does make you feel trapped.
You are not wanting to draw attention towards yourself, you simply want this problem to be taken care of. In a distressed state, communicating important issues becomes that much more difficult to do. Your brain is like a computer. If you feed it too many things all at once it is going to freeze. You also have an instinctual component that is driving you to keep your attention shifted towards this great big stressor that is causing a disturbance in the natural rhythm of your environment. Paul, I really do feel for you. If I could give you any advice on this situation, I would tell you two things. First off, remember a simple formula for communicating with neurotypicals, that is: what is my x? What do I mean by what is your x? What is your goal? Think about what your x is, what you want to achieve in that exchange before you engage. I know your logical thinking will be able to navigate how to get to x, as mine appeals to this type of approach too. The other piece, equally as important if not even moreso is to remember not to shame yourself for going through things like this. I know that is very much easier said than done in certain situations. But it's something I've learned to practice more and more as I've become more aware of the things that make me different and it's definitely something that I hope you can start to implement into your daily living. Thanks again for another good video, Paul. Stay well.
Thank you for your comment. Today, I can absolutely see what you are saying. Unfortunately, when you feel against it and low, I am not the easiest to get through to! I appreciate your advice.
This is exactly what I needed to hear without even knowing I needed to hear it I was diagnosed with ASD 4 days ago and I have low moods in the same way you do and I’ve struggled so much in life in school and work (I’m 22) and as you said as much as I wouldn’t want to it But had I have known about my autism and had the ability to pull out the “autism card” it would have saved me from a hell of a lot of stress and anxiety that I shouldn’t have had to endure and cause me such mental struggles later in life and no I don’t think you’re a depressive weirdo I just think you’re relatable
Thanks Oliver. The Autism Card would have helped me so much in the past...if only I knew!
Hey Paul, I totally understand what you’re feeling, the low mood, obsessing on something that bothers you to the point that your whole day, night or weekend is submerged by it, thinking about it non stop and trying to figure out how to solve the problem or process it while the people involved are probably not giving it much of a thought... Don’t excuse yourself for this video, I feel at home listening to you sharing your difficulties because they sound just like mine. It feels so lonely when you are the only one experiencing it, so it moves me to hear you and think « I am not the only one and someone else can understand me and support me ». Take care of you 🙏🏻
Hi Anabelle. I know the feeling all too well, and you do feel alone with it. I made the channel to let others who are in 'our camp' that they're not alone...whether it is working or not, time will tell! But it is good to know there is a good support network out there!
Sorry to hear you're struggling at times. This is what I have dealt with my entire life. Kinda sucks, doesn't it. I just turned 64 and wasn't diagnosed with Asperger's until I was 62. I could say it eventually gets better, but it doesn't really go away. I have been able to, not so much forget the issues that are constantly flooding my thoughts, but kind of put them on the back burner for just a time. Telling myself that I'm not trying to completely forget them but just set them aside, just for now and will pick that issue back up just a little later on. Them move onto something else to occupy your thoughts, if but for a short time. If it try's to push itself back into my thoughts I just kind of say to myself, no I've got this other I'm thinking about and I'll deal with that after while. Knowing it's still there, I'm just putting it aside just for now.
Low mood definitely makes you your own worst enemy, no doubt about it!
I identify with everything your saying so much. I heard you saying you were sorry. Out loud I said "I'm sorry for being sorry" at the same time you did. I feel like you are speaking from my soul. I feel understood in a way I never have before. Thank you.
Thanks Sam. And sorry for the delay, your comment was held for some reason!
Sorry you're feeling like this,I'm currently going through a diagnosis and I've had plenty if times where I've overthought things I've said to people in a conversation or thought the worst about something,hope you get listened to.
Hello Paul, no apologies necessary, as you realized yourself! I watched till the end and was quite moved by your words. Your mood. Your reasons. I had a rather low day myself...but your breakfast sounded better than mine.
I am self diagnosed ASD. Have an appointment April 16. Hopefully someone will listen to us both. You on Monday.
Keep making videos!
Thanks Allie, appreciated!
Lemon! IN my 61 years I have never talked with someone else on the spectrum. Even though I am just learning what I have is called, I have had it for 61 years. What goes on in my brain I have always called “working scenarios! “. I do it all the time! I have complete arguments with people that never ended up happening. Can’t turn it off, always going! I heard a psychologist say that people with autism have emotions that are like a light switch. Happy/angry/sad in an instant! Like you said no gray area. Just last night I was making dinner. Two things happened, nothing bad at all, that messed me up a bit. Not sure if it was the ADHD or autism but one, I turned on the wrong burner, not the one under the pot. Two, I left another burner on after I finished. The dinner was great, my partner loved it. When I started thinking about what I had done, boom I completely felt stupid, totally down. Fortunately I got to talk it out and every came right😀. I totally get what is going on in your head. It is our normal. Some things I do are play video games, I know 61 and playing video games🙃, and meditate. I found a book a few years back called 8 minute meditation. I figured with ADHD I could do 8 minutes. The meditation sometimes helps. Sometimes! Wow I didn’t mean to write a novel! This video is excellent because its raw and honest! Hope it will help lots of people like me. Just knowing that there are people out there like me is amazing! I hope that it all went well for you at work!
Cheers, Bryan, your comments are always uplifting to read. But it's going to cost me a fortune for all these biscuits!!
Thank you for this!
omg I get every word you are saying. I was never asked that in my autism assessment 'Do you sit around and have 1001 conversations in your head with an up and coming uncomfortable meeting with your work colleague or partner?'. and that waiting around where you cannot do anything but stew over your thoughts....its drives me mad but i have not found anything that works.....yet. I am glad you have done a video where you are being vulnerable and honest. Yes happy videos are good but we also need ones where we are honest. I just wish i could stop beating myself up when I am struggling and having a low mood, it just makes me worse....i am sure one day i will find a coping mechanism.
Sorry to hear you are taking a break but I totally get it. Keep on doing what you are doing.
Hi Dawn, I'll get back at it eventually, a break is always good no matter what you're doing. The more I look back wt my assessment, the more I realise how the direction of it could have been a bit more directed towards me personally rather than generalities.
Thank you for this video. Been there whole my job career (been very good in it btw). Almost at the end of it I've been diagnosed, 6 mths ago, in my 50-ies. Understand you perfect. Good to know I wasn't the only one who had to deal with the same issue.
I totally get what you're saying about a situation hanging over you and not being able to focus on anything else. The myriad scenarios branching off and having no control over it. People will tell me 'dont worry about it til the time or until I know exactly what I'm dealing with' but like you, I cant just switch off or distract myself. I didn't know this was an autistic trait, I just thought it was an inability to deal with stuff. Thanks Paul ☮
II am at the Dentist on Friday, it has already started to affect my sleep and eating because I can't switch it off. The crazy thing is, it is just a consultation, no needles on the day! But so many fears all in one with that place. Wish I could turn it off! Logic is there to see that I don't need to be worried, but a nonsensical side keeps me bothered.
Mate, I hear you and I understand. Thank you for your video. Been dealing with this all my life and didn't realise that other people didn't. Never even knew it had a name.
Hope it all worked out, and you're doing well.
Thanks Chase, appreciated.
I appreciate your being transparent and unedited.
Thank you 👍🏻
What you are saying is exactly the way I've felt for most of my life. I've left jobs in the past, because I've just focused on something negative and my thoughts have spiraled out of control on that one thing.
I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety in the past. Recently I have been talking to a psychologist and she mentioned that I show significant signs of autism. I'd never really thought about it before.
After research and a lot of thinking about my past I am 100% certain I have autism. I have an appointment in a few weeks with a psychiatrist for an official diagnosis.
I work in retail and I've learnt that unless I'm in the department I know lots of information about, I stress out and have a meltdown. I've learnt that the way I get through the day is being able to drop information dumps on people all day. If I'm in a department I don't know much about I can't interact with customers and that's why I can't handle the day.
Really hope your appointment with the Psychiatrist goes well!
Me too. I also had to go private. It was going to be a 4 month wait for public. My current workplace is really good about my anxiety, but having that diagnosis, I will be able to say. This is why I get anxious and these are the things that set me off. I don't just get anxiety for no reason. And hopefully them, and me, will have a better understanding and be able to work with that.
* This is my feelings everyday that I know I have an appointment/a phone call/have to pick up medication/have to talk to Anyone ever. I respect and appreciate this genuine honesty about the "low" that comes in.
Glad you could resonate
Thanks for posting these. I just got diagnosed at 25 and I find you very relatable. Listening to your videos is very relaxing and helping with my own burnout.
Thanks Julie, hope you're winning.
> Its nearly 5 o'clock and I haven't eaten.
This hit me hard right now. I'd been having a rough/long week at work, and then yesterday I was excited to get to see Shang-Chi, and it wasn't until 7 PM that I realised I was hungry and hadn't eaten all day. That's something I need to work on.
If my mood is affected, the last thing to have in the mind is food. Although you wouldn't think that to look at me!
I really appreciate your honesty, and I am grateful for finding you here on TH-cam! Thank you for sharing this. Makes me feel less alone...
Thanks Nina, I am really glad it helped. And sorry for the delay in responding, your comment was held. Not sure why.
@@AdultwithAutism No worries 😎I think my comment was held because I commented on too many of your videos In such a short amount of time…maybe YT was making sure I wasn’t spamming or something.. 😅😅😅
It held this one too! Promise I am not ignoring 😅
@@AdultwithAutism 😂😂 No worries 👍🏼
Lemon! Really enjoying your videos Paul - the way you speak is refreshingly different and much easier for me to relate to. Looking forward to watching more :D I suspect I have autism (37 now) and have been trying to fill out the self-referral form for several months now, but having a 5 year old + working from home + Covid + other life circumstances mean I am finding it incredibly difficult to find the focus and uninterrupted time I feel I need to do it "right". If the schools stay open long enough, I may finally get it done this month!
I would really like to watch a video in which you tell us about your childhood. I've been feeling different my whole life and I KNOW I am. But I've always felt a bit too protective of myself, so my doubts always stayed in my own mind. I stumbled upon some videos from people with Autism during these few months, including yours. It was all so mind opening! I can't and don't want to self diagnose, so I think I'll have to seek for some advice from specialists and let my guard down for once. Here in Italy I don't know how my doubts will be received and if I'll find any specialist that knows how to help me cope, but I really know I have to. Pardon me if my English looks a bit strange 😅
I will do one on childhood in the near future, definitely a topic I want to cover.
thank you paul for being so open and honest, i totally understand the low mood. Your so amazing and know you are never alone
Haha, thanks Gemma. Always appreciated.
Thank you for being 100% authentic. Needed this video, watched it all the way to the end.
Thank you
I’m having a very low mood day today and just found this video and it’s so reassuring to hear it’s a normal part of autism, I have a few prob silly little things that are on my mind constantly and I’m unable to let them go! It’s like carrying a heavy weight with you everywhere you go. I do feel sulky like you say, I hope your issue gets solved soon and your free of this feeling. Thx for your very valuable videos 😊
No problem at all, and I am glad it helped. Hope you're feeling better too.
Lemon! Haha
Thank you for your videos. Your experiences are so nuanced; I listen to you so I can get the language to describe my own experience. There are just so many little perspective things about being autistic that are hard to describe to others, and they affect every aspect of our being! I appreciate your vulnerability!
Thank you for the kind words Lauren, I really appreciate it.
There's no need to apologize to us- if someone ain't interested then they'll stop watching. Your humour still gives me a giggle despite the seriousness of this video.
This was informative and helpful so thank you for sharing, I imagine it must have been difficult. After my son was diagnosed with ASD I have been grappling with if I'm also autistic or if i only think that because iv been surrounding myself in neuro-diversity information the last 3 years to better help and understand my son. I'm telling you this because 8:00 in was a bit of a shock for me as I didn't realise that could be an autism trait. I thought everyone felt like how you described.... until I got older and it took so much longer to 'get out of my own head' as I call it and people started noticing. Different people telling me I overthink things (even if I hadn't at that point, id simply listed off the things that person might have meant in space of 10seconds without effort). Or I take things too much to heart when it's not like I was whinging or crying.... I just couldn't turn my brain off from thinking about whatever it was too the point of exhaustion. Anyway, I thought it was just a quirk of mine because that's what people tell me , it's nice to know thats not the case. Thank you. Your video was beneficial and LEMON! You owe me a biscuit 😁
You're welcome...and I need to get sponsored by a biscuit company!
I deal with it very similar to you but I really like how yo put it together saying because your bother about a work thing it puts you out until you can take care of it. Recently diagnosed and I spend a lot of time watching autism Chanel’s. Thanks for this topic this is an area that I am suffocating with. Just for jokes “lemons” but keep it up I appreciate this content. We’re not alone.
We're not, and the comments were all held for review for this topic for some reason. It was only by chance I found them, and it's been really positive to read!
Adult with Autism oh how challenging to put yourself out there so real and not get the feedback for validation 🥲 Oh yes, this is huge and I watch myself and my oldest son struggle with this. Mutual respect is incredibly RARE! Talking to the shampoo. Rumination of events and conversations suck. The anxiety of a future conversation being rehearsed is hell. That everyone doesn’t deal with this and we do makes my heart break. Forgetting to eat and drink. As a mom with two boys in this I have felt like my only reason to exist is to remind them to eat and drink and sleep and I can’t sleep until I see they have met at least the bare minimum of doing so. Not being able to turn the mind off is total torture. Exhaustion. I describe it as that feeling in my brain like the dvd spinning in the player yet never engaging to just play... spinning all night long. Thank you for putting it to words, you have a gift here ❤️
This was something I completely relate to. Thank you for sharing it. You are helping with sharing, Paul.
No problem at all, I am just glad some things help!
I don’t think you were negative I thought you were honest. I love your content.
Also, you wouldn’t apologize for being happy so don’t apologize for being low on work or “down“ baby
Rumination is the term used in the USA. I don’t think there is a cure or distraction to end it in the Autistic mind. I had a job that I had trained at college for. I went to that trouble so that I would not have to interact with customers yet the companies I worked for insisted I did interact with the customers while severely limiting what I was allow to say to them. I had to leave that career because it was a built in problem I couldn’t solve. It was extremely frustrating. I understand what you are saying and I sincerely hope you will feel better by the middle of the week.
First time viewer ,new subscriber. thanks for putting yourself out there Raw and Uncut.it really helps to know we're not alone" feeling this way"
Thanks Todd, much appreciated. I fully understand!!
Hi Paul. I appreciate your videos. I'm un-diagnosed (44yo) but relate a lot to your stories. Especially the workplace issues I can relate to.
I'm wondering if I have pushed my ambitions too far with going from an IT tech role last year to an architect role, with a lot more human interaction and conflict discussions. The tech role was just getting boring though.
Anyway, I also like you're covering the whole range of moods etc. Down to earth and not all hyper-happy.
Paul, thank you for sharing this. Yes, this topic can be depressing, but people need to hear and understand the highs AND lows. I can't speak for everyone else, but your videos are helping me. I'm learning more about being on the spectrum, and have been trying to start my own vlog for a while now. I keep putting it off, but yours have inspired me to keep trying. Just a heads up, I tried reaching out to you on Instagram.
I appreciate that. I still get anxious turning the camera on as I always feel I won't get what I need to, to come out properly. I've neglected my Instagram for a while, I didn't ignore you, apologies.
@@AdultwithAutism it's quite alright, I'm bad about checking Instagram messages. I was able to send an email instead.
Also. Lemon 🍋. ☺️
I have been researching autism and emotional dysregulation because I semi-often fall into low/dark moods similar to what you described. I actually had a hard time finding info to describe the relationship about this, or if it was even a sign of autism, and then I found your video. What you described is exactly what happens to me in a dark mood--reliving the million scenarios, everything is terrible/ruined, from a small or large happening--It helps so much to see that I'm not alone in this and that the low moods in this form are present in autistic individuals. Do you happen to have any suggestions for more info on this subject in particular? I'm trying to understand why I fall into these moods and to make sure they're not from another mental health issue. Thank you.
Unfortunately I don't. I rarely research, I generally just talk from my perspective so I don't know much about it outside of how it happens for myself.
I put in a grievance because I wasn't diagnosed at the time but on the pathway and the manager said I need to prove it or they won't support me I told her I have proof I'm on a waiting list she said it's not a diagnosis I shouted at her I have nothing to prove to you and by law I don't have to I don't normally do that but I felt attacked can't wait til this idiot sees the paper work as she said it was all in my head
I know the feeling! I needed the paperwork to be heard to, it was a horrendous feeling! But for your employer to be forced to do something, they do need the evidence. It is why I am strong advocate of being assessed, and why self diagnosis doesn't help people in a workplace...personally it is fine. But I do share the pain, I remember as clear as day how it made me feel. Just try to focus on when the paperwork comes through and the weight it'll hopefully lift!
same !!
Since I found out about my diagnosis I am pretty numb but sad I rang my dad and told him and his answer was in a sarky tone well you was right then wasn't you Emma. It's made me quiet and hardly eat drink do things I enjoy. 😢
It is tough, the harder part is making our judgement more important than others. It took me a lifetime to give myself the level of importance I gave others. You need to value your input too.
This is because we have a sense of the way reality should actually be, where as everyone else is focused on making reality the way they want it to be. These two things are not in line with eachother.
Just turn the news on, and it will show you nothing but person made issues. None of them are out of human control. That reality others want, is destroying everything...yet we're the 'weird ones' apparently!
All of us with autism do have and completely understand the issue and have similar situation trigger warning I’ve heard things so bad why I’ve been it up in the hospital for weeks at a time was suicidal and self harm thoughts and depression and unable to control how I’m feeling
Sorry to hear that, I do understand the burden of the weight it brings when you don't feel stronger than your thought process. Certainly not fun times!
Realate 100% lemon 🍋
Lemon!!
😂
Exercises like tai chi moving in set patterns helps Autistic woes. People need give working Autistics lot more credit, day to day dealing with people and keeping schedules, suffering other's misunderstandings the worst. Self-employed is only way, even nurses can work registry or per diem, piss everyone off then leave to next job :)) small business forced interactions, good lord only young Autists can endure ~ myself >40 years successfully operating retail/service business but survived with 3 days of complete solitude each week, whole summers backpacking mostly alone, but aging catches up and no rewards given or expected sir, well maybe a little sympathy a tad bit of understanding but forget it ! human nature wields large clubs while down that gauntlet Autists stumble, "the most punished people I know" ~~
True. The solitude and recharge is the most important aspect of my life, to ensure I can do absolutely anything else, even a quick trip to the shop to get essentials isn't a simple task.
Lemon ☺️
😂
When I am really down you should hear the vile & hateful insults I speak in my head at everyone I see! And I used to be such a nice person. Lol. It sure is insane to be turned into someone you know you're not. I know that at my core I'm not a hateful, spiteful person.
I know the feeling, and the feeling of when it rises up too 👍🏻
So what did they tell you on Monday?
I was listened to...without pulling out the Autism card! It's not fully resolved, but the way has been paved...for now!
not just you.. to me it's like subconscious thoughts are all conscious.. and some of us have hyperactive minds and huge processors running at max capacity to sort thorough all the huge data inputs just to appear on the outside.. pretty average honestly not even that impressive but still doing 10x the work... and some days its just like a computer freezing up. 856 processes have been running for a week all in the foreground, overlapping, and the whole system finally just lags or stops completely or blows up 😕 no shame in using the label to help explain why what looks average on the outside is no longer functioning on the inside of you need to
Lemon🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
👍🏻
Raw vegan diet and exercise. Lots and lots of oxygen and water.
Exercise I am upping currently. Need to get better at drinking water...it's tough when you spend so much time on the road. My car needs a toilet!