What is your Polygamy? | Lance Allred | TEDxSaltLakeCity
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ก.พ. 2025
- Lance Allred, the first deaf player in NBA history, challenges his audience to identify their self-limiting beliefs by sharing how his experience of growing up in a polygamist culture created his own constricting psychological boundaries and how he eventually was able to break free.
Born and raised in a polygamist commune in rural Montana, Lance Allred escaped at the age of 13. He was the first legally deaf player in NBA hHistory, with 80% hearing loss, when he played for the Cleveland Cavaliers in 2008. A conversation with Lance will challenge your perceptions and invite you to look deeper at the psychological boundaries that shape your reality.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
"The greatest challenge of a disability is not the actual disability itself, but rather the perceived limitations that everyone around you and eventually yourself begin to believe are true..."
As someone with a disability, he put words to a concept I could never fully express. This speech made me teary eyed. Knowing that people with disabilities are not alone. We all face similar struggles & challenges in our daily life. Lance is truly an inspiration!
'love is unconditional or it's not love at all'. YES!
This man is beautiful in every way. Physically of course, duh, but more importantly, mentally, spiritually, emotionally... beautiful in every way. The strength in him that came from so much suffering and so many mountains to overcome in his life is powerful, humbling, and inspiring.
Thank you for sharing, Lance.
Totally agree!!
True
Met him not a long time ago. Great person.
Great job! Very powerful. As one of those women in that community, if it makes you feel any better, I thought I was one of the lowest life forms on the planet. I was not a boy, so was not worthy to learn anything useful, like fixing a car, or building something, or be allowed to take drafting. I was just a walking baby oven. I remember you a bit. We were both living in very difficult situations. It is hard to see past your own personal hell and reach out to a fellow sufferer. I am glad you have done so well. I am glad you have reached past what you were raised with and found that the old thought patterns no longer serve you. Keep reaching for something better, you deserve it. So do we all.
woolfgirl running
+Carlos Ucl ,
Irais Aviña Alonso
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Woolfgirl, sorry I am just seeing this now. Thank you for having the courage to reach out and speak your voice. Always move in gratitude. Always.
His voice... Superhero voice!
comumpintor hhakpy
Ha... I have never had that compliment. But I will take it! Would rather have superhero powers though...
You already have superhero powers in my eyes.
The challenges you have been facing throughout life are a testament to that.
Keep doing what you do. Cheers.
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This was one of the most well-organized, packed, engaging, and immediately applicable TED talks I have ever had the pleasure of viewing. A big Thank You to TEDx Salt Lake City organizers, and this presenter. 💓
I didnt grow up in polygamy. But I grew up Catholic. And I understand the thought patterns of guilt and shame that you are speaking Lance! Thank you for your courage!
[Higher] 'Love either unconditional or not love at all!' Love this line!
I love you Lance! Thank you for articulating my own thoughts so perfectly! I knew both your father and your grandfather, and I can tell you that you may still struggle against family entanglements, but you also inherited their strengths. Both men were powerful, even magnetic orators. For all your handicap, I hear that same gift in you, only in your case, your battles have driven you to search the depths of your soul where you have found beautiful, life affirming pearls of wisdom.
eresšv x
Thank you, Dauna.
Dauna O'Larey
At this point, I am convinced Lance can do anything.
This was all so educating and insightful, but was completely blown away by how inspired I was at the end. Totally caught me off guard. I choose! It is my choice! Thank you for this truth.
“Empower yourself with the accountability of choice”
Amazing!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Thank you, Lance Allred, for being braver than most of humanity could ever be, by facing your demons and moving past all the triggers that so many of us operate at on the base brain level. Godspeed. Always.
Well, his name IS Lance! PHENOMENAL young man, who AMAZINGLY came to his OWN realizations!
I grew up in the FLDS church. I know exactly what he's talking about.
You laugh, but this is real.
Everyone needs to watch this talk. I hope the views continue to grow.
Yes. I think it will go viral. Big Ted just needs to give it a nod.
Amen
Sad just no words I can say. This should be growing up in a cult? This is good Ted EX speech. Good for him he's able to make quite a success for himself after the cards he was dealt, good for him. Why would anyone put a thumbs down on this?
very important points, and well done! I'm gutted that I missed it live.
tumblingit
tumblingit kLlallwl
You are all good man. I know you tried to be there.
Impressive. Thank you. I needed to hear this talk! You are True hero. You shined energy on my broken soul.
The best TED Talk of the hundred I have watched
Mannnn.... So proud of you.
I think You just changed my life. 💙
Man, the Internet can really convince you of Anything. Hope people dont get influences by every little s-itty Trend, even Randoms-Online saying Harems
are okay now. Remember: The internet may say ANYTHING Ask Bo Bohman!
I keep watching this video and learn more about myself each time. Thanks for speaking about this.
We really do define our own lives and make the choice to stay inside whatever boundaries we set for ourselves. We can CHOOSE to be happy! I love that it is a choice! The only limits we have are the ones we impose on ourselves!!! THANK YOU FOR THE INSIGHTS LANCE!!
Weber State Nation! Great work, Lance! I loved you when you played at Weber and followed your pro career. You did us proud. But this? Wow. I had no idea. You are a man of many talents and I wish you continued success, brother.
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Wow, this dude is a breaker of boundaries, a transcender of limits. So inspiring! And clear minded. We need more men, and women like this! ❤
Lance youre my new hero. Thank you for being authentic and walking the walk.
This talk was so helpful for me. It helped me finally understand my brothers and the challenges they had growing up in polygamy. Having escaped, I often to tend think it is so horrible, but just for women. I realize that is not true. Thank you so much.
😭😭😭😭 I heard you loud and clear. 💖🙏🏽
Thank you for your great amazing courage! Your story will help so many people!
Lance, you are amazing. You were the best student in my Western Civ history course at the U!
Absolutely amazing and inspiring! This helped me take a different look at my own life and struggles. Thank you for being so open about your life and challenges.
Powerful and empowering! Thank You sincerely!
Thank you, Hal. And thank you for sharing with your loved ones.
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Hal Erickson a
Thank you, Hal!
Inspired, too!
Read Lance's book and what a great talk. Nice work Lance!
Wow! Pretty amazing story. Thank you for sharing this video this is awesome!
Mark Anthony Garrett سورة التوبة
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Mark Anthony Garrett
Thank you Mark for watching and sharing with those who need to hear it!
Big TED needs to put this up on their website.
Hopefully!
Yes!
Lance, you are so amazing! Please keep it up! I want more!
Go Lance!! I agree with everything you said so eloquently! Keep speaking!
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Dô Nguyên
I am so excited to see where he goes with this.
We should all make an effort to help Lance by sharing this talk and his career with our friends.
Thank YOU, Lance, for letting me hear him - the five-year-old in me is giving him a BIG high five!!!
This is so inspiring he went through so much and overcame so maybe things we take for granted every day
This was very touching!
This was so deep, yet funny and endearing. It might be too smart for its own good.
It really was so deep. It had so many levels to it, but he did it with ease. I can't get over it.
He's a smart dude.
He broke a generational curse in his family
:D
Indeed he did, he WON! ❤️
What an amazing speech. Thank you for your insights; Lance. You are awesome and a gifted communicator!❤️🌹
Love. Love. Love. Thank you!
I’m in tears!!!
Man, the Internet can really convince you of Anything. Hope people dont get influences by every little s-itty Trend, even Randoms-Online saying Harems
are okay now. Remember: The internet may say ANYTHING Ask Bo Bohman!
really good stuff! thanks! glad that you escaped....glad you learned the tough lessons & found your own way.
but goddess i wish the captioning wasn't 'death'....'death'...instead of 'Deaf'.
Danielle Sabarese
Gerkeksiz Oyuncu .....yes ?
Danielle Sabarese قق
This was great stuff...
Powerful, wonderful story... thanks for sharing.
Inspiring talk, thank you.
This dude is my hero.
This dude is real. I dig it. He isnt bsing anyone.
God bless you. That was admirable. You have come so far. Reflects your inner strength and determination.
Wow that is inspiring. Thank you Lance for your strength and vulnerability. We heard you!
I loved this talk! I hope Lance goes into stand-up comedy. He has interesting stories and great comedic delivery!
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I am a hack at best.
His timing was amazing.
⭐This man DEFINES what it means to be a Champion ⭐
Such a powerful speech.
Thank you for watching and sharing with those who need it.
اللبيب ام كوززمرؤؤ
aquoslover200
aquoslover200
+Chi Tran чaazz
Loved this!!!
Dang..... That was amazing.
Beautiful!
Thank you. Please do share this with loved ones that you know, that need to hear this in their lives at this time.
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Wow awesome just awesome..some powerful life lessons..he is a powerful orator.
I always thought about how women felt in Mormonism not being allowed the priesthood, and as one of many wives. I never thought of how the men could be negatively affected by that.
Awesome, thank you!
I grew up Mormon in law Vegas. I got asked what that was like a lot. I tell people that it is where and how I grew up , the surroundings I inherit. I didn't know a difference then but I can identify programming and conditioning now.
I love his sense of humor!! very witty;)
With just the right amount of self-deprication and vulnerability, don't you think? A level few of us ever reach.
Original thought, very rare thing indeed. It seems we very often simply parrot what we hear and read.
Amazing and powerful!!
Wow, he is a gifted speaker.
Stephanie L. ggmmjkp
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Kevin Mitnick
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Great insight!
That was great! Your amazing!
Lance speaks with a voice for a lot of us raised in this culture that have no voice. But "fundamentalism" is found in many religions, many people. It is more common a way of being than many might think. You begin to see it as you shift your view points back a little bit. It's an interesting question..What's your polygamy?
God bless you, Lance. You are wonderful and your speech touched me . Love you
Good job!
Beautiful speech!
Beautiful! Powerful! True! Thank you, Lance!
Love is unconditional or it is not love at all. Well said. Great talk. Excellent delivery.
I cried
Thank you
AMAZING 👏 HEARD THIS GUY ON MORMON STORIES TODAY... UNBELIEVABLE SPEAKER, THINKER, ETC. ETC. AMEN...jessenashvillejames
So happy you're not married Lance! Be my special guy forever unconditionally.
I hear you.
It remains what it always was: A Harem. Therefore unhealthy. Stop being convinced by the Age of Fake-News (and more) that Harems are ok. Seriously, what are you thinking? Just cause acceptance is great doesnt mean your meant to believe Harems are ok.
Touching and oh so powerful!
I CHOOSE! I LOVE IT!
Beautiful
The competitive society, people !
Took me a few minutes to realise what's wrong with comments. Lol. Fake accounts and copy pasted bits, seriously? OMG. Thank you so much for this, guys. The hypocrisy alone made my day, haven't laughed at someones expense so hard in quite some time:D
I choose wellness
Tremendous.
I thought when he said “you played in the NBA, With Lebron James” I thought of Anthony Davis
love his heart. he is so real
I thought I was going to learn about polygamy???
🤷🏻♀️
me too
I believe in monogamy, but watching this video I did not get even as much as a single reason, logical reason, why polygamy is bad. Humans by their very nature or polygamous animals and no amount of mental gymnastics will ever change that fact.
Oh gosh ! I found out myself that I grew up in the polygamy family. The sacrificed child. The abused child. The child bride. Father, Mother, Sister have abused me so selfishly for a quite long time. The role of the kid as myself is supposed to pay the all bills for them without no return forever even though they do not need me. It is so criminal though. I think that I should insist I am the bigamist. Sad news. When they say that he or she is the only one, it actually also means there is someone else that you do not want to talk about. That is the lie. In my case, I have a brother and the topic about my brother is not allowed to be explained. I do not know the sistuation now. Maybe the meant time is just around corner. Brother is coming and all the of people are got scared of it as if it happens. Say I am the only bigmist and this time also they each individuals become the bigamists like I am or was. It is inevitable issue. It even gets worse situation. I am not so sure the writing is true or false. Honestly I feel right at the same time I feel wrong on this issue. As a conclusion, one thing you can definitely say is the CHILD BRIDE who is most sacrificed as a reality. Waiting for a good news brother is coming that is one and only who can rescue me from this crazy polygamy family. I always thought that my mother is my one and only but I was wrong. She is now totally different person from I have ever seen in my entire life. Turned out as a biggest enemy. It is sad though but it is true. Even the eveil angel, preferablely call her as the just demon mother who is not letting me get away from this house. I think that I have nailed it and unspelled the curse finally.
Wow❤
He should narrate audio books
I dont get it.
Please tell me this man has a career narrating audio books now.
what he is trying to say? Does he support polygamy or not?
Woah...
💖💖💖🙏🏽
But seriously, how tall is he?
6'11
I wish I had million likes for the video
Polygamy is so bad in general and bad for your health and much worse than monogamy.
Because:
Sure you GIVE good: Love for all, freedom, no jealousy (umm right), no clingyness, stuff like that.
But you also GIVE terrible: not ever giving full attention to anyone, making no one feel special, making a lover wait around while your in another location with another lover, etc etc. And that's just not good enough. Not loving / caring enough. Even if your lovers say it's fine its not fine, and you should actually want to give "best" to someone you love and not ever hurt them in any way even in a small way, not half good treatment, so. (Basically you're a worse lover than what a monogamist lover who willingly provides great treatment.)
How can you do that to your lover? It's bordering cruelty. Just No.
Polygamists love to brag alot how they think they're superior blah blah.. But. Really, Monogamy is the good treatment a lover deserves to receive from a caring loving lover...
Monogamy is just amazing and caring and healthy and the truly noble unselfish relationship style.
Because love isn't just love it's "treatment" too.
Polygamists say they're unselfish cause they share etc, BUT no, choosing many lovers for yourself and giving all of them just part time care and attention etc, that's not noble at all.
It's the most selfish.
It's like choosing many slices of delicious nice cakes and not finishing any / choosing many cute lovely nice little kittens and neglecting all of them. No no no. Selfless? No. How dare you be so selfish, uncaring, and horney.
That's sadistic narcissism hurtful selfishness. You are the worse ones, you really are.
Even if you can love many, which is easy and fun tbh, not some rare talent, decide to pick one to settle down with, so you can give all of you, (including TIME etc which is impossible for polygamists) to your chosen lover. Cause you want to cause you're in love and therefor you care deeply. Also never make her suppress / feel any sort of bad emotions like jealousy, left out, loneliness (It's natural tbh), forced to suppress competitive feelings, forced to smile through the bad side of polygamy and be a good unbothered unhurt polygamist. Ew.
Monogamy treatment is the most caring kind amazing unselfish noble thing to do in the end.
If you want a peaceful hippy gathering of people getting along, be friends. But a love relationship, that's a totally different league.