Very true my narc used derogatory phrases to describe me ,repeatedly. The damage was deep and longlasting! He knew he was lesser than me and then used tactics to demean me.I knew and felt what he was doing .That was in 1980!!!! He was obsessed with money . Laughed at me wanting to get married. The brainwashing is severe and goes deep.This talk is bang on ,the best !
I listen to you often Professor Sam, and I really enjoyed this video very much. I also learned a lot. Years ago I went to school for holistic medicine and learned all about the energetic system and the correlation of the heart with memories. They taught us that people with weak heart energy has issues with memory and vice versa. And the saying, " I know it by heart" was derived from this school of knowledge. In fact when I first met him and I noticed that he forgot so many things within our conversations I asked him if he had been heartbroken. Thank you Brad for a wonderful video!!!
Cool! Never knew that. I always assumed the idiom referred to something so well ingrained that its recall resembled the operation of an autonomic process.
51:50 until prof. Vaknin, where was the education for the masses? Even psychotherapists and students of which could not help or educate others. Forever grateful ❤
WOW, That was amazing. I have never heard anyone explain this with such clarity and understanding. I spent 20 years with one it was like he was describing my life. When I finally left my ex destroyed my life. What he said was so true when you expose them specially after as long as I stayed he used every possible avenue then he took my 4 kids. There is no recovery from this. What he did not talk about is because this behavior becomes normal to you you end up in the same relationship if you do not understand what you were a vicum of. I did not and here I am again 10 years into another and this one is unlike the other in that it is violent. Every word, every description, every example was truth and it is frightening, the dance with the devil. I will be a new subscriber to his channel. I am so overwhelmed right now. Thank you both for the time you shared.
Typical, typical. At first i thought that this " wonderful" man i married was unique, as he turned into a monster after the honeymoo. But oh, now i realize that there are.millions of them crawling the earth! Folks, we must wise up!
You're right Maria .. they will never just do something to help you out, they always have to have you offer a big incentive in return. Usually though my ex narc just said No I'm busy ...even if he could see I was struggling. Yet you are supposed to do stuff for them all the time without any reward or even thanks!!
That's the power struggle their ego is not built upon anything substantial they are like a needy child because there development as a child only went to a certain point.
Very true my narc used derogatory phrases to describe me ,repeatedly. The damage was deep and longlasting! He knew he was lesser than me and then used tactics to demean me.I knew and felt what he was doing .That was in 1980!!!! He was obsessed with money . Laughed at me wanting to get married. The brainwashing is severe and goes deep.
I always thought entrainment was easier to carry out successfully if it was done one-on-one. But the more successful narcissist, already in a leadership role, would be smart to use a group. The low-life, vulnerable narcissist that used to be in my life favoured sneaky triangulation and would have a third party deliver the message, basically that I must be controlled in a certain way. She didn't do her own dirty work. Smart that she tried to remove herself from doing the influence, remaining innocent in her mind, but I figured out it was coming from her. Her parrot would repeat a weird mantra about me in my presence and I realized it shouldn't be that important to the puppet that I do what she suggested I do.
Everyone has gaps in their knowledge and will have slight bias I never take anyones perspective 100 percent especially when someone claims absolutes. There are always grey areas or science would not be such a complex state. Sam Vaknins research findings and expert knowledge/ perceptions is generally very useful but not what I have experienced 100 percent doesnt mean its not a reality for some or a large percent. Its complex when individuals have comorbid traits and it can be hard to define where one cluster b diagnosis ends or begins. Plus additionally Narcissistic personality disorder and the effects of Narcissistic abuse is also relatively new. There is a large wave of new information. Most people in society are also unaware even in clinical psychology. This says a lot. I don't agree that Narcissists are deluded when they lie and manipulate I have seen them be very consciously aware of when and who to manipulate this is conscious. Yes their egos are a sham and they are living a lie but they consciously lie and manipulate others to gain control as they have very low self esteem and don't believe people will love them otherwise. They can be very destructive so get that through your head just because they live in a fantasy doesn't mean they are not still consciously aware and have no emphaty that is all they know. They don't have self love so they don't connect or have compassion like other humans. And it makes them quite evil as they have pure selfishness. Sam has actually contributed to a fair amount in this area. Sam Vaknin is was diagnosed a Narcissist in 1985 so he has his own insights and bias. Narcissists can be delusional FYI. I do agree with the every relationship will always be abusive. If you have a look at co dependancy and fears of abandonment there are similar roots to childhood neglect and devlopment of a healthy ego in relationships. Loved the ending of this video. th-cam.com/video/O0gNtdbShfA/w-d-xo.html
@@justlookalittledeeper9953 Grandious narcissists also have flying monkeys. Being the leader of a group makes it easier; they have monkeys to harass those who not comply to their wishes. All narcissists use others loyalty in their favour.
@BradCarr_ I do listen to Sam's videos on his channel, but I think your input and questions made it much more understandable to grasp! So thank you! Sam on his own can get a little too high brow cerebral whereas your input kept him more grounded!! 🥰✅✅✅
Exactly. We have to accept the part we played in all this and take responsibility for it. That's how I really started healing properly, and forgave them all, including myself.
I watch a lot of Sam V; he is so insightful and articulate. To wind down I like some trashy Tv shows. Lately in RHWONY and BHWOBH there have been some (apparentl/obvious) Ns in action, wreaking havoc.Makes for interesting TV. TY
I love the last sentences of Vaknin's interview and although I know he's a narcissistic, he loves his job. I know pain is another emotion that can get stuck in your mind, although not always happens because it's traumatic and I think I have found out why some narcissists I know can't remember their childhood and youth but I'm talking about decades. They get very irritable if you ask them about their first memories or dates which would be important for most people but they can't even remember if those facts happened during the day or at night, if the weather was cold or hot. I guess it's hard for me to understand it because my memory is more kinestesic than visual.
I was in with my wife and child and before I realized that I was loosing if not by thread my reality she had me in that. corner. I went no contact ran with my son deleted anyone she knew anyone I thought she knew and life was full of triggers from her . Glad to say with support and 6 years later the voice within my head was gone. Only to find out she since passed of overdose while running chaotic thinking she was god
Yes they are a club of cult Worship 😢i have lived among them in a village all family from my fathers side of the tree branch it was always about money money money 😢now i am free finally 🎉🎉🎉
Take time to watch the eye-opening NETFLIX documentary series of three episodes of DANCING FOR THE DEVIL based on a true story of a religious cult in CA, USA.
I needed help, the psychiatrist that was recommended to me, raped me, and I wasn't the first one, I found that out when I found groups of victims of sexual abuse by professionals... I wasn't successful at bringing him to court and he died peacefully I suppose... the guilt and shame I carry
He:she/they asked to “think about ME” (oh what shameless excuse for power beyond raging 😤 bull, entitlement, RULING their way through all interactions)… interrogations used to make BIDS for control of anything spoken . POOF 💨
@@BradCarr_ Still pending, Will be listening before bed, as usual listening to Sam. Nice to interact with comments, cannot do that on Sam's channel, cause he has blocked me and i dont know why😀. Maybe i just disagreed once with a narcissist and was discarded 😞
Worked like that with religion and givernments..Western ones, too. Just think 80+ years back, whose rantings set the wirld ablaze! We better learn .fast!
This is exactly what happened to exactly what I walked into when I was 26 years old this is what I love about Sammy explains everything that happened to me 1:05
Very true my narc used derogatory phrases to describe me ,repeatedly.
The damage was deep and longlasting!
He knew he was lesser than me and then used tactics to demean me.I knew and felt what he was doing .That was in 1980!!!!
He was obsessed with money . Laughed at me wanting to get married.
The brainwashing is severe and goes deep.This talk is bang on ,the best !
What a mind, what a brain! Thank you, Professor Vaknin!
You may have saved many lives!!
Yes, his work is tremendously valuable
He loves his job. That's for sure.
This is one of the best conversations with Sam Vaknin I've listened to, and I've heard many. Thanks for the contribution🙏
Thank you for noticing! It's a pleasure to converse with Sam
I agree. Especially the last sentences about love and identity.
I listen to you often Professor Sam, and I really enjoyed this video very much. I also learned a lot. Years ago I went to school for holistic medicine and learned all about the energetic system and the correlation of the heart with memories. They taught us that people with weak heart energy has issues with memory and vice versa. And the saying, " I know it by heart" was derived from this school of knowledge. In fact when I first met him and I noticed that he forgot so many things within our conversations I asked him if he had been heartbroken. Thank you Brad for a wonderful video!!!
Thank you for the thoughtful comment. That phrase "I know it by heart" has a whole new meaning to me now
@@BradCarr_ that's wonderful. I loved learning that as well. I'm going to subscribe and watch your other content 💓
Cool! Never knew that. I always assumed the idiom referred to something so well ingrained that its recall resembled the operation of an autonomic process.
Best interviewer of Sam Vaknin I have heard to date.
Sam says it like it is, it's good to hear someone speak about this with so much honesty, experience and knowledge. Thank you Sam!
Such a great interview. Sam really knows his stuff on narcissists.
Yes, Sam has so much to offer. What stood out for you?
@BradCarr_ pretty much everything he says is so knowledgeable and profound. I have watched him on his TH-cam channel aswell.
To me, his ideas about love, memory and identity have been mind blowing.
Expert analysis of Entraining and Introjection. Thank you Dr. Sam.
Glad you appreciated Sam's analysis
51:50 until prof. Vaknin, where was the education for the masses? Even psychotherapists and students of which could not help or educate others. Forever grateful ❤
Yes, so fortunate that he put language to so many of these concepts
Rockefeller psychology was built to control people. Animal model. Conditioning. Reflex arc.
WOW, That was amazing. I have never heard anyone explain this with such clarity and understanding. I spent 20 years with one it was like he was describing my life. When I finally left my ex destroyed my life. What he said was so true when you expose them specially after as long as I stayed he used every possible avenue then he took my 4 kids. There is no recovery from this. What he did not talk about is because this behavior becomes normal to you you end up in the same relationship if you do not understand what you were a vicum of. I did not and here I am again 10 years into another and this one is unlike the other in that it is violent. Every word, every description, every example was truth and it is frightening, the dance with the devil. I will be a new subscriber to his channel. I am so overwhelmed right now. Thank you both for the time you shared.
My narc/psycho would never do anything for free. Everything has a price. He only does stuff for people who can give something back.
important distinction
Typical, typical. At first i thought that this " wonderful" man i married was unique, as he turned into a monster after the honeymoo. But oh, now i realize that there are.millions of them crawling the earth!
Folks, we must wise up!
You're right Maria .. they will never just do something to help you out, they always have to have you offer a big incentive in return. Usually though my ex narc just said No I'm busy ...even if he could see I was struggling. Yet you are supposed to do stuff for them all the time without any reward or even thanks!!
That's the power struggle their ego is not built upon anything substantial they are like a needy child because there development as a child only went to a certain point.
Wow, thank you ! Great presentation from you both! ❤
Glad you enjoyed it! What stood out for you?
Very true my narc used derogatory phrases to describe me ,repeatedly.
The damage was deep and longlasting!
He knew he was lesser than me and then used tactics to demean me.I knew and felt what he was doing .That was in 1980!!!!
He was obsessed with money . Laughed at me wanting to get married.
The brainwashing is severe and goes deep.
Wonderfull interview ,
thanks to all!!
You're welcome. It was a pleasure to speak with Sam
Thanks! Worthy of listening!
Thank you! I'm so glad you found it worthwhile
Awesome and very professional ❤ priceless knowledge
Thank you so much 😀
Valuable to discuss narcissistic abuse with Sam Vaknin. Do you agree with his take on naricissists in groups?
I always thought entrainment was easier to carry out successfully if it was done one-on-one. But the more successful narcissist, already in a leadership role, would be smart to use a group. The low-life, vulnerable narcissist that used to be in my life favoured sneaky triangulation and would have a third party deliver the message, basically that I must be controlled in a certain way. She didn't do her own dirty work. Smart that she tried to remove herself from doing the influence, remaining innocent in her mind, but I figured out it was coming from her. Her parrot would repeat a weird mantra about me in my presence and I realized it shouldn't be that important to the puppet that I do what she suggested I do.
Everyone has gaps in their knowledge and will have slight bias I never take anyones perspective 100 percent especially when someone claims absolutes. There are always grey areas or science would not be such a complex state. Sam Vaknins research findings and expert knowledge/ perceptions is generally very useful but not what I have experienced 100 percent doesnt mean its not a reality for some or a large percent. Its complex when individuals have comorbid traits and it can be hard to define where one cluster b diagnosis ends or begins. Plus additionally Narcissistic personality disorder and the effects of Narcissistic abuse is also relatively new. There is a large wave of new information. Most people in society are also unaware even in clinical psychology. This says a lot. I don't agree that Narcissists are deluded when they lie and manipulate I have seen them be very consciously aware of when and who to manipulate this is conscious. Yes their egos are a sham and they are living a lie but they consciously lie and manipulate others to gain control as they have very low self esteem and don't believe people will love them otherwise. They can be very destructive so get that through your head just because they live in a fantasy doesn't mean they are not still consciously aware and have no emphaty that is all they know. They don't have self love so they don't connect or have compassion like other humans. And it makes them quite evil as they have pure selfishness. Sam has actually contributed to a fair amount in this area. Sam Vaknin is was diagnosed a Narcissist in 1985 so he has his own insights and bias. Narcissists can be delusional FYI. I do agree with the every relationship will always be abusive. If you have a look at co dependancy and fears of abandonment there are similar roots to childhood neglect and devlopment of a healthy ego in relationships. Loved the ending of this video. th-cam.com/video/O0gNtdbShfA/w-d-xo.html
@@justlookalittledeeper9953
Grandious narcissists also have flying monkeys. Being the leader of a group makes it easier; they have monkeys to harass those who not comply to their wishes.
All narcissists use others loyalty in their favour.
Excellent discussion between you two! Worth listening to again. And maybe again!! Thank you 💜 💜💜🇬🇧
Glad you found it so worthwhile! Thank you for listening
@BradCarr_ I do listen to Sam's videos on his channel, but I think your input and questions made it much more understandable to grasp! So thank you! Sam on his own can get a little too high brow cerebral whereas your input kept him more grounded!! 🥰✅✅✅
I appreciate this view. I used to believe I did nothing wrong, but now I can see my part in this dance we were in. Yes it is very addictive.
Thank you for sharing. Similar to you, Vaknin actually calls it a dance of death ("dans macabre") in his writing
Exactly. We have to accept the part we played in all this and take responsibility for it. That's how I really started healing properly, and forgave them all, including myself.
I watch a lot of Sam V; he is so insightful and articulate. To wind down I like some trashy Tv shows. Lately in RHWONY and BHWOBH there have been some (apparentl/obvious) Ns in action, wreaking havoc.Makes for interesting TV. TY
Agreed, he's articulate in a unique way that makes his lectures so interesting
You are describing complete criminal insanity
which part?
I love the last sentences of Vaknin's interview and although I know he's a narcissistic, he loves his job.
I know pain is another emotion that can get stuck in your mind, although not always happens because it's traumatic and I think I have found out why some narcissists I know can't remember their childhood and youth but I'm talking about decades. They get very irritable if you ask them about their first memories or dates which would be important for most people but they can't even remember if those facts happened during the day or at night, if the weather was cold or hot. I guess it's hard for me to understand it because my memory is more kinestesic than visual.
Thankyou so! Much!....❤
you are so welcome
Disbelief is a very common reaction when one 'outs' a narcissist. I have been told that I am cynical when I walk away from toxic behaviour.
Fascinating
Perfect description of my exhusband and my brother in law. So grateful for this! 🙏💜💪🙌
Glad it was helpful
break the taboo!
Thanks!
Welcome!
Just watched Gary Breca being interrupted by a Narcissist while trying to share life saving info.
I was in with my wife and child and before I realized that I was loosing if not by thread my reality she had me in that. corner. I went no contact ran with my son deleted anyone she knew anyone I thought she knew and life was full of triggers from her . Glad to say with support and 6 years later the voice within my head was gone. Only to find out she since passed of overdose while running chaotic thinking she was god
The Donald thinks he's Jesus and wants orange facial dye to be mandatory this year at the Met Gala 😅
Yes they are a club of cult Worship 😢i have lived among them in a village all family from my fathers side of the tree branch it was always about money money money 😢now i am free finally 🎉🎉🎉
Omg they sick, that's what I have to deal with as a grandmother of beautiful twins any advice?
I don't personally. Sam Vaknin's TH-cam channel and website may have resources
He called Mother Teresa a narcissist?
She was a horrible person
Take time to watch the eye-opening NETFLIX documentary series of three episodes of DANCING FOR THE DEVIL based on a true story of a religious cult in CA, USA.
just watched the trailer, I'm definitely watching the whole thing
I’d love to hear what you would diagnose my narc with, narcissist or psychopath.
How can u walk away if you have kids?
Watch videos on divorce attorney advises...it is complicated and you have to change yourself
@@NMTDelightfulMusic it's my grandkids
I needed help, the psychiatrist that was recommended to me, raped me, and I wasn't the first one, I found that out when I found groups of victims of sexual abuse by professionals... I wasn't successful at bringing him to court and he died peacefully I suppose... the guilt and shame I carry
They install a virus app.
exactly
@@BradCarr_spot ON. Dumpster party is ON. Yummy! Free A T last.
He:she/they asked to “think about ME” (oh what shameless excuse for power beyond raging 😤 bull, entitlement, RULING their way through all interactions)… interrogations used to make BIDS for control of anything spoken . POOF 💨
Narcissists are dorks.
:)
Hahaha 😂
Interesting definition of narcisistic abuse...Like Zionism does against Palestinians?
Title looks promising
Did it live up to the title?
@@BradCarr_ Still pending, Will be listening before bed, as usual listening to Sam. Nice to interact with comments, cannot do that on Sam's channel, cause he has blocked me and i dont know why😀. Maybe i just disagreed once with a narcissist and was discarded 😞
Worked like that with religion and givernments..Western ones, too. Just think 80+ years back, whose rantings set the wirld ablaze!
We better learn
.fast!
I hate the extra attention
HG TUDOR is my favourite Narcissist. xx
cute boy
:)
This is exactly what happened to exactly what I walked into when I was 26 years old this is what I love about Sammy explains everything that happened to me 1:05
Are you talking about Donald Trump? Or are you talking about Elon musk?