Take a daily walk with your wife. No phones, no older kids (stroller kids are ok) and just walk and talk. Make it a daily habit or at least a few times a week. Best times I have with my wife. She loves it and looks forward to it, too.
I admire that. I’ve tried endlessly to get my wife to take a 5-10 min walk with me. Nothing, nada. I walk by myself, it’s lonely and it sucks but I want her to see that I can do it without her. Sometimes, it’s like having another teenage daughter rather than a partner. I won’t ask her to walk with me anymore, I just go and listen to a podcast or something. I did explain to her that a lot of women would be happy if their husbands wanted to walk with them.
@@erwinbrubacker7488 Get a local job. I drove over the road for a while to get experience and then I got on with a great ltl outfit. Try getting on with OD, Saia, Averett, Estes, etc.
I'm in a relationship and will be proposing soon but this is one of the two decisions that I plan to do everyday with my future wife. 1. Walk everyday and 2. Not glued to TV (max only for Friday night movie)but rather use our time for building each other or community service!
On behalf of the remaining traditional single women of the world, thank you for this message. Also, thank you to all of the men in the comments who either already are or want to show up for your families this way. You are quite literally making the world a better place.
@@Donner906 I'm sorry someone hurt you. Being of service to others does not mean indentured servitude, and who better to be of service to than to one's family?
Man this one really hit home for me. I have been in a committed relationship for 14 years. Have 1 kid together. I was doing everything right up until my son was born. Somehow I completely lost my way and forgot what it was to be a man worth following. She got fed up with my immaturity and decided enough is enough. Rightfully so. Guys, dont ever lose sight of what you have, have that drive every day and be that amazing man your woman and kids deserve.
Get ready for a rude awakening @2:52. So necessary to hear for most men, especially christians. We expect women to follow because that is their biblical role, but we fail to place responsibility on ourselves as the husbands to be someone worth following. What a refreshing reminder.
They don't follow, regardless. I grew up in the church. It no longer matters, Christian or otherwise, most women don't listen. And let's be real.... The only women who listen at all do so bc their husbands succumb to their every wish, and spoil them. There Are no true leadership roles for married men in this country. The women usurped it all. This is just a video designed to further feminize men, and make Us the obedient ones. This advice is straight from the pit of Hell. Better advice comes from Kevin Samuels, Jordan Peterson, and Andrew Tate. Don't marry anymore, men. Leave them destitute and alone. Childless And without Our attention. But that advice comes too late. America is Already doomed.
@@jackstoltz1379hat quote is saying that when good men do nothing, evil triumphs. Like the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. If it's in your power to do good, just do it. Simple.
@@AffirmativeAndrew yes yes we have all been drilled that into our brains since birth on television internet and everyday people regurgitating it like parrots. But it's just a half truth that is pushed forth so that we all see it as the only pathway forward. Sometimes the best course you can take is to sit on your hands until a better opportunity unfolds before you. Like in the stock market just because you can make a trade doesn't mean you should make a trade. Life is much the same. Usually the quote is attributed to WW2 and the fact that good men did nothing when they could of to stop Hitler. Yet Hitler him self seen him self as good by starting wars and killing people he didn't like to push forth a better environment for pure blooded Germans. And in turned killed tens of millions of Germans. Destroyed Germany and the women left over gave birth to the offspring of Soviet soldiers. Now that is a extreme and warped version of what I am talking about but relevant none the less. A man needs to have a north star of what is the actual right course to take. If not then he will be but a boat rowing in circles in the middle of the ocean wasting effort at best. And at worse getting other boats to follow his lead that other wise would not or possibly sink them. We must not blindly live by quote given to us to make as our own thoughts. Everyone and every situation is different and needs a different solution. No body wants to be that guy that did "just something" and got in the way of a undercover operation to take down a drug king pin or trafficker by attacking the under cover that invested five years of there life to uncover the network as a whole.
I’ve been married for 3 years, been together for five, met my wife on the side of the freeway changing her tire, and she asked me out… It can happen fellas. It’s all about communication. Whether it’s talking about the future or discussing things that happened in the past. Communication is the number one in a lasting, loving relationship. A woman will go to the ends of the earth with you helping to pull the wagon, as long as you are leading and communicating the direction🤙
Uh huh, then why, of why, do 90% of women initiate 90% of the divorces that outnumber marriages births and abortions alike?! They're SO faithful that they commit adultery, by allowance of civilization at large, and laws that force men to emasculate themselves on behalf of women and THEIR government! They abort more babies than they birth, they opened our nation's borders to hostile invasion, they have used marriage like prostitution so they could use the government like their pimp to collect money from the johns they fck (divorce child support and alimony, while stealing your college tuitions and jobs to do so). Now, maybe YOUR wife isn't any of that, and good for both of you, but the standard normal is so beyond fucked up, there is no point to it.
No. This is my problem. My wife doesn’t get her way, so she uses guilt, shaming, scolding, verbal attacks to cut me down, so she can win or get control. I am not always sure how to respond. Then she tells the marriage counselor I am an ‘abuser’ who is ruining her life.
This statement sounds so weak. Since the husband is the leader, she should want him to win by supporting his vision. That way when he wins, they both win.
Wow this video spoke a lot to me, my wife and I have been together 10yrs this year and after our first year I broke my back, had intensive surgery and was out of work for almost 5 yrs, she took care of everything and we were falling apart, finally found my groove again 3 yrs ago, lost 150lbs went out and got more schooling and got a great job, I’ve been holding everything down while allowing her to follow her dreams now and our relationship has been great, we became best friends rather then just husband and wife
Lovely stuff blessings to you bro. I know what backpain is like , now if your spouse is not supportive that makes it beyonc worse that backpain. Im happy for you.
Agreed brother. Been married 12 years and I follow these steps religiously. If she spends hours making dinner, I usually do the dishes and clean up. It's the least I can do. When she was working full time and going to school full time, I did everything. Laundry, cleaning, groceries, etc. because I knew she was overwhelmed. I tell young married men all the time, you have to respect yourself before she will ever respect you.
@@notabeta3675there’s nothing wrong with helping your wife with things around the house. I do the same thing and I work 50-60 hours a week and have two kids.
Mine has decided she doesn't want me, 5 weeks ago. I have done all those things for 5 weeks now. I'm trying hard to fix my communication skills too. What a fool I was, she's an incredible woman and so strong. Hope it's not too late
@@Bringmejoycon I had a close call too. My wife lost interest in me for a while because I was doing my own thing and putting my needs before hers and not leading her like God said to. It’s not too late to change the course of the relationship! My prayers will go up for you, brother!
@@notabeta3675 helping the right woman is worth it. Unless you can provide for her on your income alone, expect to provide help in house hold manners if she does work. You relieve her stress that she will harness and use against you if you aren’t in your top game. Communication is key.
Newly single momma(not my choice) to four kiddos here (2 are boys). I’m peeking behind the veil here so I can learn my role in raising healthy masculine men. Thanks for the work that you do.
I prayed this morning for guidance. This was the very first thing that popped up on TH-cam. I've always been a man capable of treating a woman well.. but I've always felt less capable of being a leader because i struggle with motivation and follow through, and I think you hit the nail on the head with your number 1.. I need to buckle down and be more capable of leading myself and following through so I can be worth following. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I got up and started handling a list of things I'd been putting off while listening. Thanks for your words, and passionately conveying your vision to me.. I'm inspired.
You got this man one small win at a time, focus on what makes you feel good. This is a good book that got me out my rut a while back Hard Times Create Strong Men - Stefan Aarnio
My struggle has always been motivation and ambition. And this is a real problem because you can't just manufacture desire. Without desire there can be no motivation or ambition. This can be an impassable obstacle for people, and there really isn't anything you can do about it.
You’re going to destroy yourself your husband and your children with that attitude You require so much your husband can’t do You’re a rotten woman wife mother and human being Selfish
@@Donner906sir if you are married or in a committed relationship…. Please learn that that is not ok…. You are talking about another human being. You will get out of a woman what you put in. If you want to know the health of a marriage… look at how the woman treats the man…. No she shouldn’t be x, y and x… but if you act like you aren’t worth anything she will not treat you like you are…. You give a woman arguments and complaining you will get it back 2x. Give her love and Grace and patience and you will get it back 10x. Women are multipliers do not underestimate the position of authority given to her as the weaker vessel.
This is such a great headline, "She Will Follow If You Lead." The secret to an amazing relationship is so simple it's mind numbing. Two things i did that changed my life. 1. Always be kind. I know, you don't know how everytime, but think about it, then respond kindly in all situations no matter what. This will make you a much better person. 2. Never have any expectations from anyone other than yourself. It is extremely important that you expect yourself to always learn and grow and get things done. You are the man, you are the leader. Be a kind real leader and the love and respect and Desire you experience will serve you right.
Man brother this is gold. My wife and I just separated and as I listen to this I can pin point where I have come up short and the result of coming up short in those areas align with exactly what you're saying would happen. I'm improving though!
Man it’s not always a one way street you can understand where someone’s perspective but they don’t always try to understand yours, sometimes your the only one willing to meet in the middle and compromise
Takes a good man to take note of his shortcomings, takes an even better man to take the necessary changes to be better. You got this. No rush. Sometimes we gotta work on ourselves before it's time to invite another person in. Best of luck to you in your endeavors. I may not know you but I'm rooting for your success. Good luck buddy.
I hope you have still continued improving brother, put God first and love wisdom. Wisdom is everywhere, cling to it. You will only become more wise. I'm praying for you brother.
Communication is Key! My wife and I have a couple rules when having a “discussion” (argument. we just don’t call it that) about something that is bothersome. Works for kids too. 1. Don’t name call build each other up don’t break them down. 2. No cussing. You can get you point across just fine without cussing. 3. No yelling. When you raise your voice it puts the other person in a defensive mode and now their mind has shifted away from positive progress. 4.Clear A to B path. Don’t talk circles. Listen to what is bothering your partner, agree on a solution/compromise, put into effect. As a leader you need to create and maintain a healthy environment where people can say their piece.
Love the boldness of this topic. There is so much misunderstanding from the world where a man desires to lead his wife and his family. The world interprets the statement as keeping women down and your family sheltered and uninformed. It's quite the opposite. Leading our wives and family is leaving lifting her up and informing our children on how to live life to the fullest.
If anyone wants to include me in their prayer I could surely use it. The strength to fully trust God's plan with everything I have and not focus on current pain. Thought i met the one God put in my life but was thrown a curveball. Still not convinced she isnt but need to trust his plan. Thank you very much and God bless
I'm the one saying "You're fine. Let's get you cleaned up and get back out there. Gotta fall a few times before you can fly". I'm not one to baby... and my ex-husband HATED that about me. He wanted me to baby him and told me time and time again that I wasn't emotional enough. There are so many types of women out there. Not all of us are softies. You're right on leadership and trust. If the leader cannot lead themselves, how do they expect anyone to follow them? We'll see right through the BS and go, "no thanks, I got this".
“The fact that we don’t understand each other is not a bug in the process, it’s a feature of the process!” Man you nailed it. I have been with my wife for 35 years. If you don’t learn to appreciate the lack of understanding, you will not continue to try to understand. If you stop trying to understand your wife, another man will. That simple. It’s a commitment not a warm fuzzy feeling. Your wife is not your servant; she is you and everything that makes you whole. Study her, and when the decades change her personality or worldview, know that her changes are likely a compensation for your changes.
It's about a willingness to compromise and applying equal effort to say the least. The struggle is when you are trying so hard, but she isn't applying equal effort, but wants the world of me. I'm not lazy or lack effort by any means. Ryan, I'm willing to serve, but not at the account of being taken advantage of.
Thank God for this Channel. I just found out recently my lady is pregnant and we’ll be having our first child. I’m excited and nervous at the same time but knowing that men like this are saying the right things I have more confidence moving forward. Personally l say thank you 🙏
You can only lead yourself. You can't make anyone do anything but you can make them want to be more like you if your results are better, if they care about those results. If you don't share values you probably should just be friends instead. That's what I do if I still like the person. Plenty of people on earth.
1. Lead yourself first. Have goals, principles and stick by them. Continue to grow. Obtain new skills. No one wants to follow someone who cant effectively lead their own life. 2. Communicate & uphold expectations and boundaries. Remember you are masculine and she is feminine. Your approach to the world is going to be a lot different from her feminine approach and both are okay. You both come from different perspectives and cultures and have different ideas of how to deal with things. At the end of the day make sure that you both are unified and understand eachothers boundaries. 3. Strive to hear & understand her. See where she is coming from. Understand her feminine side as good. Dont just hear what she's saying, listen to what she is saying. Remember not to hear only to respond, but to listen to understand with clarity. 4. Serve her. A relationship is a partnership and serving her serves you ultimately. Remeber serving her doesnt make you a beta. She will in turn serve you. 5. Cast your vision for future. Make sure you both are heading in a direction that both aligns to your vision of the future. It's important that you both adhere to eachothers vision and try to become one headed towards that shared future.
Thank you for this. Learning to be the head of the house, after a rude awakening of my gf saying I’m not ready. She is right but this video really helped me open my eyes. I’m working on me everyday
I am happy to say I have this in my marriage, but this channel and these lessons help me to recenter my world so I can be a leader. Keep it up brother.
In the beginning God created Heaven and Earth. He created humans too to have a relationship with Him. That's our purpose as humans that have a relationship with God. Sin, however, messed that up because it made us imperfect and imperfect creatures cannot have a relationship with a perfect and holy God. That's why we so oftentimes feel empty, unsatisfied and unaccomplished because we're not in relationship with the God we were created to be in a relationship with. But that's where Jesus comes in. Jesus is God's son and He came down to earth in human form to live the same life we do yet unlike us He never sinned. Jesus is perfect. Yet despite the fact He is perfect He died on the cross for our sins and sacrifice Himself for us. The punishment for our sins is death but because Jesus took that punishment for us if we put our faith in Him and receive Him as Lord and savior we can be reconciled to God and be restored to that relationship we were created to have. And we can be sure that Jesus is the Son of God because on the 3rd day God raised Him from the dead and in that He defeated death and the grave, proving that He can do the same for us if we put our faith in trust in Him. That's how you get to Heaven. That's how you become full in your heart. That's how you become reconciled to the God who created you.
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her..
It’s hard when you was with someone for a good amount of time. Especially in marriage but don’t beat yourself up and use that to better yourself. Never know y’all could get back better than ever or you may find someone way better when you think that you cant
As husband and wife it seems to me we are here to facilitate each other's lives, goals, dreams(one at a time) and to help shore up each other's weaknesses so that trust is enhanced rather than attacking, accusing or denigrating each other for even having human weaknesses.
Recently heard a podcast titled. Having Courageous conversations. Loved how they turned a “difficult” conversation to something uplifting and positive! Great podcast. Thanks for you’re wisdom
I wish my husband would have had these kinds of convictions. He separated from me almost 6 years ago & has treated me as if I'm invisible paint on the wall. It hurt me severely. I was loving, I dressed & tried to look nice for him. Now we are about to start the divorce process because he will not press in, will not pursue me, or get counseling, will not take anyone's advice but his own. I loved & adored him. I was always faithful to him. But I finally gave up on him loving me 2 years ago, after 25 years of marriage where the patterns were always the same. He has forced me to live married & alone so many years. It wore me out & I have been building myself back up the past few years. I was a traditional wife. I loved raising & homeschooling our children. I loved my husband. I supported & helped him with his business. I homeschooled our sons through HS graduation & they are now 21 & 23 & doing very well & are wonderful, kind-hearted, responsible young men. They even confronted him about how he treated me, but he would not listen. My h did not stick with me, did not press in. When problems arose, he stonewalled me, abandoned me, or used his aggression to intimidate me or beat me down. He has some good qualities but seemed to show them to others & not his own wife. Now, I am trying to make decisions on going back to school & learning to support myself. I know I can do it. But his chronic decisions to block all attempts at saving our marriage were traumatic & so unnecessary. He had a good, faithful wife who loved & adored him, who wanted him to lead...but lovingly. I feel I am starting over in life, just at the time that I'd always thought I would be enjoying my husband & family after my children left home. I knew I was not perfect but I was forever trying, forgiving, loving, drawing closer, & always pressing in to learn better from God & the bible, wise mentors & Counselors, books, etc. I thought he would do it with me. Not just walk away.
I feel like I'm in a similar situation as you, except I'm 28 with a 6-year-old and 2-year-old. I'm running our home pretty much all by myself. I homeschool, take the kids to church and social gatherings, cook, clean, have hobbies, and try to live as whole of a life as I can while being alone in a marriage. He drags his feet with everything except his job. I try to make him feel important and capable, I honor him, and I try not to burden him. When I express a need, he treats me like an enemy. Bedroom life is virtually non-existent, and I'm almost always the one who tries to initiate. I'm terrified of my son learning from his example. I'm terrified that my daughter will marry a man just like him. I'm starting to wake up to the pattern and how it never changes.
No amount of counseling can even scrape the surface of what is discussed in this short video. God get me in this mindset and sacrifice my wants for her wants and for my family. I have to change my mindset towards my wife. Thank you.
@@lincolnuland5443are you implying a public or private school is required to socialize children? Should it not be the responsibility of the parent or should it be the plethora of random kids with random parents and random thought process that socialize your child? Your argument is way overplayed and totally incorrect.
@@MrAskOnce All I know is I was profoundly harmed by being 'home schooled' by unbelievably neglectful parents and I think most people who choose to 'home school' their kids are pure evil.
@lincolnuland5443 they definitely failed you if you're so ignorant you think all home schoolers experience what you did. Try not to insult everybody by your assumptions. There are plenty of home schoolers that get socialised. Not only that, but turn out better because they're not experience negative socialisation and influences by going to regular school.
I'm glad I came account this video. I struggle with the viewpoint of leadership, and how it should be executed. I hold a lot of resentment towards society in general to keep it short. As I'm the only male in the household I've been falling short of the expectation and responsibilities leadership demands. Thank you for posting this.
I’m a lady and I appreciate your messages! I was raised with five men and six, including my father all manly men of course everyone has their own dysfunction, but more importantly, men that are strong, and I love my five brothers. Our father passed 91 and he was the man of all men!
I would like to share a lesson I have learned recently. If I am genuinely happy with my direction, excited and expressing enthusiasm and gratitude for being able to achieve my goals in life then that attitude is infectious. I’m more engaging and understanding with my wife and family, more encouraging and up lifting. The more I do that the more my wife and kids want to follow me naturally because I’m happy and their bad moods don’t hurt me or get me down. I admit it’s difficult to cultivate that positivity in a deep genuine sustainable way, but when that is going on it’s like bees to honey. It’s about knowing exactly what will fulfill you on a deep level and actually going for it. Everything else is clear when we know who we are where we are going and why, we don’t need to have any system to follow it all happens naturally when we line up our mind body and heart on a path we 100% believe in.
What I ended up learning was that by setting and maintaining my personal boundaries and internalizing my own locus of control I gained a shift in perspective. Being by myself in a living space went from feeling like extremely depressing loneliness to feeling like solitude and a chance to be at peace and still within myself. I learned how much control of my life I had actually surrendered (without a fight) to others. And, older and wiser I have got a good handle on what is worth a "good fight" and what is not-- and there is practically nothing of style I want to fight about.
A very needed conversation. I felt like I should watch the whole video and I'm glad I did! The values are right on the money, and I'm looking forward to where this leads
Ephesians 5:25: For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her. Ecclesiastes 4:12: Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Genesis 2:24: Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Romans 13:8: Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
You can live a good life , but don't bring some biblical bs into it. Love your wife as christ loved the church and she's gonna take you for granted for your good heart, that runs out eventually, keep serving and eventually you'll run out of gas , women operate on momentary emotions, we run on logic because we bring more to the table and have more to lose. This is science. Don't forget that
@@chadhumphries3970 not science or even an anecdote, just memes. look to the replicated findings of john gottman, helen fisher, or any other expert for what elements comprise and predict succesful, fulfilling partnerships
Where a lot of people seem to find themselves in trouble is in the area of discerning an honest difference between a genuine desire to help someone and helping someone from a sense of being coerced or manipulated into helping others.
Married for almost three years now and I can say it's not easy at all. There are times I wanted to call it quits, but I know quitting is not an option. Repeating the mistakes of my parents is not an option at all. Instead, I want to do something different. That is becoming the most effective leader that I can be in my home, business, work, and community. Thanks for this video!
Unfortunately, quitting IS an option. My ex-wife called it quits after 20 years. And for her, quitting was not an option. So don't be fooled by her profession or your profession, "that quitting is not an option. " People reach the point of quitting over the course of many years. They wear out. So, learn how to not wear out, and how to not wear out your wife. Your mutual profession to not quit is essential. It's just not as powerful in the long run as it may seem.
Quite the conversation. Beautiful points raised. I love the part of going away and casting the vision. Maximizing time spent to build on the relationship instead of just going in holiday and being Idle with that time but using leisure and ease of mind to address the 5 points in a relaxed state in a sense. Appreciation big man.
Been married for 30 years, what my wife has taught me is that I need to treat her like a queen . It ain’t easy but like my daughter told me last week “ it’s disgusting how much you two love each other” 😂
I appreciate what Bob Dylan was trying to say in his song "You got serve somebody." Clearly humans were put on Earth to provide some value to the world as a manager of worldly resources and more personally, to act as a good servant-leader to our families for the express purpose of fostering their growth and helping them maximize there potential value and use to themselves, their neighborhood and/or the world.
There is a definite difference between serving someone from a place of genuine desire versus serving someone from a place of compulsion or because you/I believe we "must or have to". One carries with it a sense of right relationship with God and the world and the other carries with it a sense of doing tasks from a place of resentment and bitterness because if you don't you can be punished for non-compliance.
Am I even worth following... That shit hit heavy. I have been feeling this way about myself lately. I met a beautiful young lady that inspired me to work on my mind and body. I feel I want to provide but it's difficult in this economy. She ain't even my girl, but I have to see her to keep that inspiration alive.
Well said !! Great Video .👌 👍👍.. Its our job as Men to lead.. Marriage teaches us many things but most importantly , it teaches us how to Love one another unconditionally, as Jesus Christ Loves Us . My wife & I will be celebrating 20 years together this Month by the Grace of God, my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ, ✝️ Titus 2:7 And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching.
Men, it’s only if she trusts and respects you as a man, will she trust your decisions as a provider or caretaker and follow your lead. If you have been acting weak and not making good decisions, you must first change that behavior immediately. It will take sometime for them to get used to the new behavior before the trust is there but only then will you be on your way to leading your family. Keep growing and moving forward gentlemen as our family needs all of us!!
I didn’t know what I expected to find by clicking this video but it feels like I’ve been led to water. Especially since I’ve gotten married this year, after securing my home my wife was like yeah you should invest in a hose for the back yard. (Which is mostly weeds & dirt) 😅 then I started thinking about ways a man has to manage a home and relationship, and now I’m here.
I'm in the process of courting an extremely talented, gracious, and powerful lady. Being able to edify her all while leading the relationship may have gaps at first, but being transparent in my discussions has made it feasible for building her trust. Listening to your message, taking mental notes on the key points is telling me I'm on the right path. Thanks Ryan for your series "Order of Men"!!
The algorithm lead me to this video and I have to say, this is a rather refreshing perspective of realism as compared to the red-pill rhetoric that’s sold to young men (which I too, have bought and consumed for entertainment value). Life is about choices and trade-offs, risks and rewards. Love is not romantic, it’s rather laborious. But that’s because we are all in service to one another, for the betterment of one another. And if that is a task any young man is willing to take on, I commend him in his pursuits, so long as he is getting a fair and equitable exchange for his services. All in all, Great Vid!
This has to be the BEST video about being a man to men. As a woman working hard to be the best version on of me and be a high value woman. looking for exactly what you share 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 you nailed it!!
Wow what a good job on this video man. As a single gen z man lacking the masculine energy in the household while being raised, this is information is really need.
Thank you for the awesome video Ryan! Many of us men need to be reminded of these things. Sometimes life gets complicated and overwhelming, but we need to be reminded of this mindset. Your perspective on this topic is spot on, especially comparing it to those influencers who do the things you said at the beginning of the video. I really appreciate all the points you made. It holds a ton of value to those of us who strive to be better men, fathers, and husbands.
I love this. I came here because I'm haunted about living up to the kind of man my grandfather was. He was such a good and influential person about 3000 people attended his funeral. His wife and children refer to him as being nearly perfect and they say that just being his presence made them feel empowered to be better people. I suck with my wife no matter how hard I try and its driving me mad lol
If God and scripture were used in this platform I would likely subscribe. If men can't/won't/don't submit to God first, the responsibility of leading is nothing but self serving. He is the example we all need to follow.
Acknowledgement of a God thru prayer, reading of higher-level non-fiction and the KJV Bible have led me here after I had been watching/listening almost exclusively to another man who hosts what he titled the Better Bachelor channel. I can sure tell a difference in the way Mr. Michler and Mr. Joker speaks. I don't know what you will hear, but I hear an order of magnitude difference in the way they communicate their viewpoints and how they express the various ideas and problems they wish to address. I hope you'll give both a listen and judge for yourself.
Just today my 6-year-old banged his shin coming up the back steps. Yes, I said coming up the steps. LOL. He started crying and said is it bleeding and do I need a band-aid? And then I said well let's look at it is it bleeding? Do you need a Band-Aid? He said no it's not bleeding. No I don't need a band-aid. I then said I understand that it hurts. But, I will not hurt for long. Then I said you can either go inside and play with your toys or you can still hang out in the backyard with Dad and play outside which one do you want to do? He says I want to go inside and play with my toys. I said okay that's fine I love you. And that was the end of it.
Great job Ryan! We need more than ever REAL MEN. There’s an assault on the traditional family amd it’s going to take some real courage from real men to defeat these demons. We need to bring back masculinity to society. It’s not too late. Spread the word to all the men and let’s reclaim our masculinity.
Wow, just separated a few months ago from the same exact description you are in, with my wife. Fortunately no child to hurt. I pray for you. It is certainly a lonely and struggling place to be. I begged GOD to change my wife and to change me. Sometimes, and I have found that most times, people don’t change. I feel for you and pray that GOD give you peace to draw the line that needs to be drawn for change and for a more peaceful and balanced life for you, your husband and your daughter. Blessings 🙏
Husbands love your wife as Christ loved his Church that he laid his life down... Ryan don't know how you can eat that late unless I got the time wrong. Anyway I look to emulate the Golden mean I think its just a great beacon to shoot for, and it means that men serve. Above all you just got to love. What you do as a man has to stem from that love, and all the rest will follow. Doesn't mean violence isn't there but through all the points Ryan makes which were awesome they al go back to love. I think this was Ryans best post.
In a way, a relationship is all about negotiation. If both parties involved can establish their goals, frame them with respect of themselves and each other and ensure the building of trust, then I think every party will come out with a win/win situation.
Hey brother, thank you so much for sharing these thoughts. I'm currently separated praying and trying not to end up divorced - after 24 years of marriage. I see how I've had a huge part in getting us where we are, and a lot has to do with me not leading well as a servant-leader. What you've shared here is extremely valuable for all of us men to practice with our wives and in front of our children. Thank you for what you do.
I pray you listen to his counsel, Alex. Divorce after 24 years of marriage...it's not easy with divorce. I didn't want a divorce but he expected me to be his scapegoat, his mother, didn't want to be an equal partner. I'm paying for it dearly still. Love your wife. What a treasure to be married that many years! Remember who's the enemy. It's not her!
My wife came to me Dec of 2019 after 28 years of marriage she told me she “thought we should get divorced because we didn’t have anything in common anymore.” 75% of divorces are initiated by women probably because men put up with a poor relationship more than women do. With that said I told her “It has taken 28 years to get here, I’m retiring next year and I just have an ominous feeling that something bad is coming so why don’t we see a counselor to help us navigate what ever we decide and not rush into it.” We had seen several counselors before and never really got to the root of the problem. The one we found is great. In the mean time I was diagnosed with stage one Parkinson’s. Researching it I found studies that suggest a Gut-Brain connection. I quit processed foods, sugar, carbs and I adopted the Bulletproof intermittent fasting diet. I work out once a day doing a half hour of yoga and half hour of weights and exercises. Plus a 4 mile trail run/walk in the woods. Point being I took care of myself and lost 27 lbs. and started looking at what I was doing wrong in the relationship. I started to actually listen to her grievances without countering with mine to negate hers. I noticed that I was carrying emotional crap from my past into the marriage and blaming her for my issues. I began to lead by being kind and not emotional. Feminism has made thing difficult for both women and men. Abandon what the feminist preach and how our culture portrays men and idiots. Women want to know that their spouse is there to protect and care for them no matter what culture tells them. We all need to go back to basics and love our wives from a position of leadership knowing that they are going to test us. When they do, be kind. Good luck in your endeavors.
At 17.43 ...a meaningful and significant way... to Her. I've noted that there can be significant differences in what men and women find meaningful and significant.
I have a basic understanding of women and I would still like to partner with one. Partner not to gain greater understanding of all women, just the one I want to live with.
I cook dinner every night we eat at home and I do all the grocery store...I buy everything for the house even the ladies stuff but she works her ass off and takes care of the house and kids...
The biggest thing is to open up to your hurts and love each other and do not blame each other never lie sometimes we see lies as good because when wer hurt we would rather lie because we think it will hurt them no it will help them I derunderstand and what your going through
Yess. I recently got my first girlfriend and i thought i knew everything about leading but i dont, i needed this and i completely agree and this solidified and expanded my knowledge. You effectively changed my life in a small way for the better!
Thanks for waiting on advertising till the end. I got topic satiation. And was willing to listen to it. As opposed to having it forced on me before the topic. Thank you.
If you look at it purely objectively, then yes. But so is living, surviving, etc when seeing through these lens. Granted, humans are not purely objectively beings. We need and produce subjectivity and marriage is a very subjective experience. That cant be accurately measured.
@@jeradkiester698idk man, its kinda sad. google says it was mainly due to his alcoholism, and he's a war veteran, so there's probably a rabbit hole of of issues
Great Friday Field Notes! Loved your point about communication and upholding expectations in your relationship. I feel expectations in a relationship are what keep a bond between each other. Holding yourself and each other accountable on those expectations are what keep a relationship strong. Thanks for the video!
Is it really expectations or is wedding vows that we(men and women) should be (able) and willing to hold our marriage partner to? It seems to me if you have expectations of another person in a nascent relationship you/I are probably setting ourselves up for a fall/disappointment.
When you can take on the trusting/faith-filled perspective or mindset that your spouse/partner does what s/he does (no matter what s/he does) from a place of genuine caring and love then you've taken a big step towards accepting him/her as s/he is and loving him/her unconditionally. And just so I am clear the learning process/journey towards loving unconditionally is life-long. You will never arrive, but that's not to say you shouldn't make the effort because it will be well worth it.
My wife has always followed my lead. So when I was a victim and a Beta she was mirroring that. I had to take responsibility for the relationship first.
I think the "power of a union or marriage" is to be found in the answers to issues or problems that are addressed as a team rather than 2 single individuals trying to come up with solutions individually with no input from either side of the gender divide.
Take a daily walk with your wife. No phones, no older kids (stroller kids are ok) and just walk and talk. Make it a daily habit or at least a few times a week. Best times I have with my wife. She loves it and looks forward to it, too.
I admire that. I’ve tried endlessly to get my wife to take a 5-10 min walk with me. Nothing, nada. I walk by myself, it’s lonely and it sucks but I want her to see that I can do it without her.
Sometimes, it’s like having another teenage daughter rather than a partner. I won’t ask her to walk with me anymore, I just go and listen to a podcast or something.
I did explain to her that a lot of women would be happy if their husbands wanted to walk with them.
Daily ? Wow. I'm a trkr gone from 3 to 7 wks at a time.
@@erwinbrubacker7488 Get a local job. I drove over the road for a while to get experience and then I got on with a great ltl outfit.
Try getting on with OD, Saia, Averett, Estes, etc.
I'm in a relationship and will be proposing soon but this is one of the two decisions that I plan to do everyday with my future wife. 1. Walk everyday and 2. Not glued to TV (max only for Friday night movie)but rather use our time for building each other or community service!
@@scott247 I feel you...stay strong , give it anada try
On behalf of the remaining traditional single women of the world, thank you for this message. Also, thank you to all of the men in the comments who either already are or want to show up for your families this way. You are quite literally making the world a better place.
I assume you like being led on a dog collar.
@@Donner906 I'm sorry someone hurt you. Being of service to others does not mean indentured servitude, and who better to be of service to than to one's family?
o
@@ArielYveMen are seen only as tools. It is what is.
Thank you for speaaking up. We NEED to see women like you be positive. Litterally desperatly need. So thank you.
Man this one really hit home for me. I have been in a committed relationship for 14 years. Have 1 kid together. I was doing everything right up until my son was born. Somehow I completely lost my way and forgot what it was to be a man worth following. She got fed up with my immaturity and decided enough is enough. Rightfully so. Guys, dont ever lose sight of what you have, have that drive every day and be that amazing man your woman and kids deserve.
Get ready for a rude awakening @2:52. So necessary to hear for most men, especially christians. We expect women to follow because that is their biblical role, but we fail to place responsibility on ourselves as the husbands to be someone worth following. What a refreshing reminder.
They don't follow, regardless. I grew up in the church. It no longer matters, Christian or otherwise, most women don't listen. And let's be real.... The only women who listen at all do so bc their husbands succumb to their every wish, and spoil them. There Are no true leadership roles for married men in this country. The women usurped it all. This is just a video designed to further feminize men, and make Us the obedient ones.
This advice is straight from the pit of Hell.
Better advice comes from Kevin Samuels, Jordan Peterson, and Andrew Tate.
Don't marry anymore, men. Leave them destitute and alone. Childless And without Our attention.
But that advice comes too late.
America is Already doomed.
Truth
Amen brother
Very true.
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
Not always some times it take a man to do something wrong because he didn't have a vision of what he was going to do
@@jackstoltz1379hat quote is saying that when good men do nothing, evil triumphs.
Like the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.
If it's in your power to do good, just do it. Simple.
@@AffirmativeAndrew yes yes we have all been drilled that into our brains since birth on television internet and everyday people regurgitating it like parrots.
But it's just a half truth that is pushed forth so that we all see it as the only pathway forward. Sometimes the best course you can take is to sit on your hands until a better opportunity unfolds before you.
Like in the stock market just because you can make a trade doesn't mean you should make a trade. Life is much the same.
Usually the quote is attributed to WW2 and the fact that good men did nothing when they could of to stop Hitler. Yet Hitler him self seen him self as good by starting wars and killing people he didn't like to push forth a better environment for pure blooded Germans. And in turned killed tens of millions of Germans. Destroyed Germany and the women left over gave birth to the offspring of Soviet soldiers.
Now that is a extreme and warped version of what I am talking about but relevant none the less.
A man needs to have a north star of what is the actual right course to take. If not then he will be but a boat rowing in circles in the middle of the ocean wasting effort at best. And at worse getting other boats to follow his lead that other wise would not or possibly sink them.
We must not blindly live by quote given to us to make as our own thoughts. Everyone and every situation is different and needs a different solution. No body wants to be that guy that did "just something" and got in the way of a undercover operation to take down a drug king pin or trafficker by attacking the under cover that invested five years of there life to uncover the network as a whole.
What is a man? But a miserable pile of secrets? But enough talk have at you!!!
But seriously "every man is guilty of the good he doesn't do"
I’ve been married for 3 years, been together for five, met my wife on the side of the freeway changing her tire, and she asked me out… It can happen fellas. It’s all about communication. Whether it’s talking about the future or discussing things that happened in the past. Communication is the number one in a lasting, loving relationship.
A woman will go to the ends of the earth with you helping to pull the wagon, as long as you are leading and communicating the direction🤙
Dude this is a beautiful story CONGRATULATIONS brother!!! 🤙🏼
100% true. A good woman will do this.
That’s crazy, were you just a random Good Samaritan helping out?😂
So true. Communicate, lead, and a woman will follow if you’re doing it well.
Uh huh, then why, of why, do 90% of women initiate 90% of the divorces that outnumber marriages births and abortions alike?! They're SO faithful that they commit adultery, by allowance of civilization at large, and laws that force men to emasculate themselves on behalf of women and THEIR government!
They abort more babies than they birth, they opened our nation's borders to hostile invasion, they have used marriage like prostitution so they could use the government like their pimp to collect money from the johns they fck (divorce child support and alimony, while stealing your college tuitions and jobs to do so).
Now, maybe YOUR wife isn't any of that, and good for both of you, but the standard normal is so beyond fucked up, there is no point to it.
“I want my wife to win”
That one struck me hard.
When your wife wins so do you.
No. This is my problem. My wife doesn’t get her way, so she uses guilt, shaming, scolding, verbal attacks to cut me down, so she can win or get control. I am not always sure how to respond.
Then she tells the marriage counselor I am an ‘abuser’ who is ruining her life.
Win what, exactly?
This statement sounds so weak. Since the husband is the leader, she should want him to win by supporting his vision. That way when he wins, they both win.
@@johnsmith4900 yep.
Wow! FINALLY! A show that doesn’t cut down either side, but tries to show how the differences compliment each other! ❤
Wow this video spoke a lot to me, my wife and I have been together 10yrs this year and after our first year I broke my back, had intensive surgery and was out of work for almost 5 yrs, she took care of everything and we were falling apart, finally found my groove again 3 yrs ago, lost 150lbs went out and got more schooling and got a great job, I’ve been holding everything down while allowing her to follow her dreams now and our relationship has been great, we became best friends rather then just husband and wife
You are the MAN ! I am happy for your ending, I can understand yalls circumstances. 🙏
Yoo da Man!
Great job!
mad props to her for sticking with you the whole time
lots of women would never do that
Don't let your friendship replace your marriage
Lovely stuff blessings to you bro. I know what backpain is like , now if your spouse is not supportive that makes it beyonc worse that backpain. Im happy for you.
Agreed brother. Been married 12 years and I follow these steps religiously. If she spends hours making dinner, I usually do the dishes and clean up. It's the least I can do. When she was working full time and going to school full time, I did everything. Laundry, cleaning, groceries, etc. because I knew she was overwhelmed. I tell young married men all the time, you have to respect yourself before she will ever respect you.
Nice. What color is your skirt?
@@notabeta3675there’s nothing wrong with helping your wife with things around the house. I do the same thing and I work 50-60 hours a week and have two kids.
Mine has decided she doesn't want me, 5 weeks ago. I have done all those things for 5 weeks now. I'm trying hard to fix my communication skills too. What a fool I was, she's an incredible woman and so strong. Hope it's not too late
@@Bringmejoycon I had a close call too. My wife lost interest in me for a while because I was doing my own thing and putting my needs before hers and not leading her like God said to. It’s not too late to change the course of the relationship! My prayers will go up for you, brother!
@@notabeta3675 helping the right woman is worth it. Unless you can provide for her on your income alone, expect to provide help in house hold manners if she does work. You relieve her stress that she will harness and use against you if you aren’t in your top game. Communication is key.
As a young man I want to do so much better. I’m very lacking and this did make me cry. I will do better.
Newly single momma(not my choice) to four kiddos here (2 are boys). I’m peeking behind the veil here so I can learn my role in raising healthy masculine men. Thanks for the work that you do.
You've got this, Hanna! Get those boys around other righteous men too!
Hope you find peace and joy in your life. Blessings.
I prayed this morning for guidance. This was the very first thing that popped up on TH-cam. I've always been a man capable of treating a woman well.. but I've always felt less capable of being a leader because i struggle with motivation and follow through, and I think you hit the nail on the head with your number 1.. I need to buckle down and be more capable of leading myself and following through so I can be worth following. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I got up and started handling a list of things I'd been putting off while listening. Thanks for your words, and passionately conveying your vision to me.. I'm inspired.
You got this man one small win at a time, focus on what makes you feel good. This is a good book that got me out my rut a while back Hard Times Create Strong Men - Stefan Aarnio
@@Knowledgedad thanks brother!
Jesus answered your prays God bless keep it up
And remember the same way you pray you have to keep up fasting especially needed in marriage
My struggle has always been motivation and ambition. And this is a real problem because you can't just manufacture desire. Without desire there can be no motivation or ambition. This can be an impassable obstacle for people, and there really isn't anything you can do about it.
I'm a wife who is nothing more than a friend/roommate with benefits. You are correct, we want so so much more.
You’re going to destroy yourself your husband and your children with that attitude
You require so much your husband can’t do
You’re a rotten woman wife mother and human being
Selfish
Is that a problem?
Dis is equality!
@@Donner906sir if you are married or in a committed relationship…. Please learn that that is not ok…. You are talking about another human being. You will get out of a woman what you put in. If you want to know the health of a marriage… look at how the woman treats the man…. No she shouldn’t be x, y and x… but if you act like you aren’t worth anything she will not treat you like you are…. You give a woman arguments and complaining you will get it back 2x. Give her love and Grace and patience and you will get it back 10x. Women are multipliers do not underestimate the position of authority given to her as the weaker vessel.
@@thewayteacher The fuck does any of that mean?
This is such a great headline, "She Will Follow If You Lead."
The secret to an amazing relationship is so simple it's mind numbing.
Two things i did that changed my life.
1. Always be kind. I know, you don't know how everytime, but think about it, then respond kindly in all situations no matter what. This will make you a much better person.
2. Never have any expectations from anyone other than yourself. It is extremely important that you expect yourself to always learn and grow and get things done.
You are the man, you are the leader. Be a kind real leader and the love and respect and Desire you experience will serve you right.
A happy relationship is when both man and woman are in their natural essence respectively.
Man brother this is gold. My wife and I just separated and as I listen to this I can pin point where I have come up short and the result of coming up short in those areas align with exactly what you're saying would happen. I'm improving though!
That’s real dawg
Man it’s not always a one way street you can understand where someone’s perspective but they don’t always try to understand yours, sometimes your the only one willing to meet in the middle and compromise
Takes a good man to take note of his shortcomings, takes an even better man to take the necessary changes to be better. You got this. No rush. Sometimes we gotta work on ourselves before it's time to invite another person in. Best of luck to you in your endeavors. I may not know you but I'm rooting for your success. Good luck buddy.
@filletmignon5221 Yep, agreed. Going through this now. One gets tired of going down a one way street with no reciprocation.
I hope you have still continued improving brother, put God first and love wisdom. Wisdom is everywhere, cling to it. You will only become more wise. I'm praying for you brother.
Dude....I think you just saved my marriage!
Good podcast! Thanks for posting it!
How's it going?
How is it going my man?
I know I need to learn how to be a better leader. I want to. Jocko podcast and his leadership training is good.
Communication is Key!
My wife and I have a couple rules when having a “discussion” (argument. we just don’t call it that) about something that is bothersome. Works for kids too.
1. Don’t name call build each other up don’t break them down.
2. No cussing. You can get you point across just fine without cussing.
3. No yelling. When you raise your voice it puts the other person in a defensive mode and now their mind has shifted away from positive progress.
4.Clear A to B path. Don’t talk circles. Listen to what is bothering your partner, agree on a solution/compromise, put into effect.
As a leader you need to create and maintain a healthy environment where people can say their piece.
Love the boldness of this topic. There is so much misunderstanding from the world where a man desires to lead his wife and his family. The world interprets the statement as keeping women down and your family sheltered and uninformed. It's quite the opposite. Leading our wives and family is leaving lifting her up and informing our children on how to live life to the fullest.
glad other LDS are here.
As a young man not married or courting any lady right now but I enjoy and learn from videos like this thank 😊
If anyone wants to include me in their prayer I could surely use it. The strength to fully trust God's plan with everything I have and not focus on current pain. Thought i met the one God put in my life but was thrown a curveball. Still not convinced she isnt but need to trust his plan. Thank you very much and God bless
I was thrown a curveball in a relationship last year
I will pray for you partner
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I'm the one saying "You're fine. Let's get you cleaned up and get back out there. Gotta fall a few times before you can fly". I'm not one to baby... and my ex-husband HATED that about me. He wanted me to baby him and told me time and time again that I wasn't emotional enough. There are so many types of women out there. Not all of us are softies.
You're right on leadership and trust. If the leader cannot lead themselves, how do they expect anyone to follow them? We'll see right through the BS and go, "no thanks, I got this".
“The fact that we don’t understand each other is not a bug in the process, it’s a feature of the process!” Man you nailed it. I have been with my wife for 35 years. If you don’t learn to appreciate the lack of understanding, you will not continue to try to understand. If you stop trying to understand your wife, another man will. That simple. It’s a commitment not a warm fuzzy feeling. Your wife is not your servant; she is you and everything that makes you whole. Study her, and when the decades change her personality or worldview, know that her changes are likely a compensation for your changes.
This is THE TRUTH !! This is all we long for. What opens us up to be our full potential for you guys. 100% the truth.
It's about a willingness to compromise and applying equal effort to say the least. The struggle is when you are trying so hard, but she isn't applying equal effort, but wants the world of me. I'm not lazy or lack effort by any means. Ryan, I'm willing to serve, but not at the account of being taken advantage of.
How is she not applying equal effort?
Is is a “Taker” & not a giver. I had the same issue & came to divorce! Get with her & communicate this exactly. If not, resentment will sit in
I’m willing to serve as long as I get served as much as I deem as a valid amount. Sounds really like a servants heart.
To anyone reading this: his advice is GOLD! Thank you! My mom always told me that if you honor your husband he will honor you.
Thank God for this Channel. I just found out recently my lady is pregnant and we’ll be having our first child. I’m excited and nervous at the same time but knowing that men like this are saying the right things I have more confidence moving forward. Personally l say thank you 🙏
Great advice. However, if you have a partner who is not willing to follow you , and doesn’t share your values it’s hard to lead.
You can only lead yourself. You can't make anyone do anything but you can make them want to be more like you if your results are better, if they care about those results.
If you don't share values you probably should just be friends instead. That's what I do if I still like the person. Plenty of people on earth.
My wife has no interest in being led.
@@josephg.3370 lead yourself and do what is right in the eyes of God. The rest is on her. And never accept any disrespect from her.
True. Please, don't marry her.
@@josephg.3370 pray for your wife everyday and she will brother. God bless you mate!
1. Lead yourself first. Have goals, principles and stick by them. Continue to grow. Obtain new skills. No one wants to follow someone who cant effectively lead their own life.
2. Communicate & uphold expectations and boundaries. Remember you are masculine and she is feminine. Your approach to the world is going to be a lot different from her feminine approach and both are okay. You both come from different perspectives and cultures and have different ideas of how to deal with things. At the end of the day make sure that you both are unified and understand eachothers boundaries.
3. Strive to hear & understand her. See where she is coming from. Understand her feminine side as good. Dont just hear what she's saying, listen to what she is saying. Remember not to hear only to respond, but to listen to understand with clarity.
4. Serve her. A relationship is a partnership and serving her serves you ultimately. Remeber serving her doesnt make you a beta. She will in turn serve you.
5. Cast your vision for future. Make sure you both are heading in a direction that both aligns to your vision of the future. It's important that you both adhere to eachothers vision and try to become one headed towards that shared future.
I appreciate the summary👍
Thanks for the summary, much appreciated! 🙏👍👍👍
Bro this is a great summary. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for this. Learning to be the head of the house, after a rude awakening of my gf saying I’m not ready. She is right but this video really helped me open my eyes. I’m working on me everyday
I am happy to say I have this in my marriage, but this channel and these lessons help me to recenter my world so I can be a leader. Keep it up brother.
In the beginning God created Heaven and Earth. He created humans too to have a relationship with Him. That's our purpose as humans that have a relationship with God. Sin, however, messed that up because it made us imperfect and imperfect creatures cannot have a relationship with a perfect and holy God. That's why we so oftentimes feel empty, unsatisfied and unaccomplished because we're not in relationship with the God we were created to be in a relationship with. But that's where Jesus comes in. Jesus is God's son and He came down to earth in human form to live the same life we do yet unlike us He never sinned. Jesus is perfect. Yet despite the fact He is perfect He died on the cross for our sins and sacrifice Himself for us. The punishment for our sins is death but because Jesus took that punishment for us if we put our faith in Him and receive Him as Lord and savior we can be reconciled to God and be restored to that relationship we were created to have. And we can be sure that Jesus is the Son of God because on the 3rd day God raised Him from the dead and in that He defeated death and the grave, proving that He can do the same for us if we put our faith in trust in Him. That's how you get to Heaven. That's how you become full in your heart. That's how you become reconciled to the God who created you.
God bless !! back to the core of what matters
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her..
@jay pritchett wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?
@jay pritchett Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.
Same here I think about my ex wife all the time she was good to me I messed it up I regret it to this day that was over 15 years ago
It’s hard when you was with someone for a good amount of time. Especially in marriage but don’t beat yourself up and use that to better yourself. Never know y’all could get back better than ever or you may find someone way better when you think that you cant
@@juanderuano8969click baiter
Excellent!!! Women must know and feel that she is safe within a man's strength and caring protection and confidence.
As husband and wife it seems to me we are here to facilitate each other's lives, goals, dreams(one at a time) and to help shore up each other's weaknesses so that trust is enhanced rather than attacking, accusing or denigrating each other for even having human weaknesses.
Recently heard a podcast titled. Having Courageous conversations. Loved how they turned a “difficult” conversation to something uplifting and positive! Great podcast. Thanks for you’re wisdom
I wish my husband would have had these kinds of convictions. He separated from me almost 6 years ago & has treated me as if I'm invisible paint on the wall. It hurt me severely. I was loving, I dressed & tried to look nice for him. Now we are about to start the divorce process because he will not press in, will not pursue me, or get counseling, will not take anyone's advice but his own. I loved & adored him. I was always faithful to him. But I finally gave up on him loving me 2 years ago, after 25 years of marriage where the patterns were always the same. He has forced me to live married & alone so many years. It wore me out & I have been building myself back up the past few years. I was a traditional wife. I loved raising & homeschooling our children. I loved my husband. I supported & helped him with his business. I homeschooled our sons through HS graduation & they are now 21 & 23 & doing very well & are wonderful, kind-hearted, responsible young men. They even confronted him about how he treated me, but he would not listen. My h did not stick with me, did not press in. When problems arose, he stonewalled me, abandoned me, or used his aggression to intimidate me or beat me down. He has some good qualities but seemed to show them to others & not his own wife. Now, I am trying to make decisions on going back to school & learning to support myself. I know I can do it. But his chronic decisions to block all attempts at saving our marriage were traumatic & so unnecessary. He had a good, faithful wife who loved & adored him, who wanted him to lead...but lovingly. I feel I am starting over in life, just at the time that I'd always thought I would be enjoying my husband & family after my children left home. I knew I was not perfect but I was forever trying, forgiving, loving, drawing closer, & always pressing in to learn better from God & the bible, wise mentors & Counselors, books, etc. I thought he would do it with me. Not just walk away.
I feel like I'm in a similar situation as you, except I'm 28 with a 6-year-old and 2-year-old. I'm running our home pretty much all by myself. I homeschool, take the kids to church and social gatherings, cook, clean, have hobbies, and try to live as whole of a life as I can while being alone in a marriage. He drags his feet with everything except his job. I try to make him feel important and capable, I honor him, and I try not to burden him. When I express a need, he treats me like an enemy. Bedroom life is virtually non-existent, and I'm almost always the one who tries to initiate. I'm terrified of my son learning from his example. I'm terrified that my daughter will marry a man just like him. I'm starting to wake up to the pattern and how it never changes.
No amount of counseling can even scrape the surface of what is discussed in this short video. God get me in this mindset and sacrifice my wants for her wants and for my family. I have to change my mindset towards my wife. Thank you.
Having a wife that homeschools your children is a huge win.
Not socializing your children is like cutting off their arms and legs.
@@lincolnuland5443 yeah i guess you could say that. Thats not what home schooling is though.
@@lincolnuland5443are you implying a public or private school is required to socialize children?
Should it not be the responsibility of the parent or should it be the plethora of random kids with random parents and random thought process that socialize your child?
Your argument is way overplayed and totally incorrect.
@@MrAskOnce All I know is I was profoundly harmed by being 'home schooled' by unbelievably neglectful parents and I think most people who choose to 'home school' their kids are pure evil.
@lincolnuland5443 they definitely failed you if you're so ignorant you think all home schoolers experience what you did. Try not to insult everybody by your assumptions. There are plenty of home schoolers that get socialised. Not only that, but turn out better because they're not experience negative socialisation and influences by going to regular school.
I'm glad I came account this video. I struggle with the viewpoint of leadership, and how it should be executed. I hold a lot of resentment towards society in general to keep it short. As I'm the only male in the household I've been falling short of the expectation and responsibilities leadership demands. Thank you for posting this.
That was encouragingly far better advice than I was expecting. Thank you for busting my pessimism. 🤜🏻
I’m a lady and I appreciate your messages! I was raised with five men and six, including my father all manly men of course everyone has their own dysfunction, but more importantly, men that are strong, and I love my five brothers. Our father passed 91 and he was the man of all men!
I would like to share a lesson I have learned recently. If I am genuinely happy with my direction, excited and expressing enthusiasm and gratitude for being able to achieve my goals in life then that attitude is infectious. I’m more engaging and understanding with my wife and family, more encouraging and up lifting. The more I do that the more my wife and kids want to follow me naturally because I’m happy and their bad moods don’t hurt me or get me down. I admit it’s difficult to cultivate that positivity in a deep genuine sustainable way, but when that is going on it’s like bees to honey. It’s about knowing exactly what will fulfill you on a deep level and actually going for it. Everything else is clear when we know who we are where we are going and why, we don’t need to have any system to follow it all happens naturally when we line up our mind body and heart on a path we 100% believe in.
What I ended up learning was that by setting and maintaining my personal boundaries and internalizing my own locus of control I gained a shift in perspective.
Being by myself in a living space went from feeling like extremely depressing loneliness to feeling like solitude and a chance to be at peace and still within myself.
I learned how much control of my life I had actually surrendered (without a fight) to others.
And, older and wiser I have got a good handle on what is worth a "good fight" and what is not-- and there is practically nothing of style I want to fight about.
A very needed conversation. I felt like I should watch the whole video and I'm glad I did!
The values are right on the money, and I'm looking forward to where this leads
Ephesians 5:25: For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.
Ecclesiastes 4:12: Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Genesis 2:24: Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Romans 13:8: Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
You can live a good life , but don't bring some biblical bs into it. Love your wife as christ loved the church and she's gonna take you for granted for your good heart, that runs out eventually, keep serving and eventually you'll run out of gas , women operate on momentary emotions, we run on logic because we bring more to the table and have more to lose. This is science. Don't forget that
@@chadhumphries3970 not science or even an anecdote, just memes. look to the replicated findings of john gottman, helen fisher, or any other expert for what elements comprise and predict succesful, fulfilling partnerships
You just changed/helped 3.4k ppl...I'm one of them....I needed to hear this
thank you for saying this , we need more leaders 😊 i totally agree
Where a lot of people seem to find themselves in trouble is in the area of discerning an honest difference between a genuine desire to help someone and helping someone from a sense of being coerced or manipulated into helping others.
Married for almost three years now and I can say it's not easy at all. There are times I wanted to call it quits, but I know quitting is not an option. Repeating the mistakes of my parents is not an option at all. Instead, I want to do something different. That is becoming the most effective leader that I can be in my home, business, work, and community. Thanks for this video!
Unfortunately, quitting IS an option. My ex-wife called it quits after 20 years. And for her, quitting was not an option. So don't be fooled by her profession or your profession, "that quitting is not an option. " People reach the point of quitting over the course of many years. They wear out. So, learn how to not wear out, and how to not wear out your wife. Your mutual profession to not quit is essential. It's just not as powerful in the long run as it may seem.
Quite the conversation. Beautiful points raised. I love the part of going away and casting the vision. Maximizing time spent to build on the relationship instead of just going in holiday and being Idle with that time but using leisure and ease of mind to address the 5 points in a relaxed state in a sense. Appreciation big man.
Been married for 30 years, what my wife has taught me is that I need to treat her like a queen . It ain’t easy but like my daughter told me last week “ it’s disgusting how much you two love each other” 😂
I appreciate what Bob Dylan was trying to say in his song "You got serve somebody."
Clearly humans were put on Earth to provide some value to the world as a manager of worldly resources and more personally, to act as a good servant-leader to our families for the express purpose of fostering their growth and helping them maximize there potential value and use to themselves, their neighborhood and/or the world.
There is a definite difference between serving someone from a place of genuine desire versus serving someone from a place of compulsion or because you/I believe we "must or have to".
One carries with it a sense of right relationship with God and the world and the other carries with it a sense of doing tasks from a place of resentment and bitterness because if you don't you can be punished for non-compliance.
Am I even worth following... That shit hit heavy. I have been feeling this way about myself lately. I met a beautiful young lady that inspired me to work on my mind and body. I feel I want to provide but it's difficult in this economy. She ain't even my girl, but I have to see her to keep that inspiration alive.
Well said !! Great Video .👌
👍👍..
Its our job as Men to lead.. Marriage teaches us many things but most importantly , it teaches us how to Love one another unconditionally, as Jesus Christ Loves Us .
My wife & I will be celebrating 20 years together this Month by the Grace of God, my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ, ✝️
Titus 2:7
And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching.
Lord Bless You Bros, we been married 34 yrs, at about 5 yrs in I almost walked away, the Great Holy Spirit stopped me.
Blessings 🙏
Great comments...values and communication, prayer time are important and they should match from the beginning. Do not be unequally Yoked.
Men, it’s only if she trusts and respects you as a man, will she trust your decisions as a provider or caretaker and follow your lead. If you have been acting weak and not making good decisions, you must first change that behavior immediately. It will take sometime for them to get used to the new behavior before the trust is there but only then will you be on your way to leading your family. Keep growing and moving forward gentlemen as our family needs all of us!!
I didn’t know what I expected to find by clicking this video but it feels like I’ve been led to water. Especially since I’ve gotten married this year, after securing my home my wife was like yeah you should invest in a hose for the back yard. (Which is mostly weeds & dirt) 😅 then I started thinking about ways a man has to manage a home and relationship, and now I’m here.
I'm in the process of courting an extremely talented, gracious, and powerful lady. Being able to edify her all while leading the relationship may have gaps at first, but being transparent in my discussions has made it feasible for building her trust.
Listening to your message, taking mental notes on the key points is telling me I'm on the right path. Thanks Ryan for your series "Order of Men"!!
The algorithm lead me to this video and I have to say, this is a rather refreshing perspective of realism as compared to the red-pill rhetoric that’s sold to young men (which I too, have bought and consumed for entertainment value). Life is about choices and trade-offs, risks and rewards. Love is not romantic, it’s rather laborious. But that’s because we are all in service to one another, for the betterment of one another. And if that is a task any young man is willing to take on, I commend him in his pursuits, so long as he is getting a fair and equitable exchange for his services.
All in all, Great Vid!
This has to be the BEST video about being a man to men. As a woman working hard to be the best version on of me and be a high value woman. looking for exactly what you share 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 you nailed it!!
Wow what a good job on this video man. As a single gen z man lacking the masculine energy in the household while being raised, this is information is really need.
Thank you for the awesome video Ryan! Many of us men need to be reminded of these things. Sometimes life gets complicated and overwhelming, but we need to be reminded of this mindset. Your perspective on this topic is spot on, especially comparing it to those influencers who do the things you said at the beginning of the video. I really appreciate all the points you made. It holds a ton of value to those of us who strive to be better men, fathers, and husbands.
Wow i accidentally found your podcast brother! This word is sooo needed right now thank you man really ! You have no idea how much I needed this!
I love this. I came here because I'm haunted about living up to the kind of man my grandfather was. He was such a good and influential person about 3000 people attended his funeral. His wife and children refer to him as being nearly perfect and they say that just being his presence made them feel empowered to be better people. I suck with my wife no matter how hard I try and its driving me mad lol
Don’t compare yourself to others. Just be the best that YOU can be. Never stop trying to be better, but don’t look around at others.
Such a relief to hear this perspective, so many other channels are so “bro” centric….
If God and scripture were used in this platform I would likely subscribe. If men can't/won't/don't submit to God first, the responsibility of leading is nothing but self serving. He is the example we all need to follow.
Maybe this will lead men to the source when they fail of their own strength. We are made in his image.
@@michaelbergeron1554 That's exactly what brought me to Him.
@@MRW21783 Amen. Thank God for that brother. Apart from Christ we can do nothing
Acknowledgement of a God thru prayer, reading of higher-level non-fiction and the KJV Bible have led me here after I had been watching/listening almost exclusively to another man who hosts what he titled the Better Bachelor channel.
I can sure tell a difference in the way Mr. Michler and Mr. Joker speaks.
I don't know what you will hear, but I hear an order of magnitude difference in the way they communicate their viewpoints and how they express the various ideas and problems they wish to address.
I hope you'll give both a listen and judge for yourself.
I watched until 4:20 and got out of bed! Will watch the rest after I do something productive.
Just today my 6-year-old banged his shin coming up the back steps. Yes, I said coming up the steps. LOL. He started crying and said is it bleeding and do I need a band-aid? And then I said well let's look at it is it bleeding? Do you need a Band-Aid? He said no it's not bleeding. No I don't need a band-aid. I then said I understand that it hurts. But, I will not hurt for long. Then I said you can either go inside and play with your toys or you can still hang out in the backyard with Dad and play outside which one do you want to do? He says I want to go inside and play with my toys. I said okay that's fine I love you. And that was the end of it.
Ok, not married here. But you changed my entire perspective. Know I know how to approach this. Now there’s hope because it makes sense. Thank You!
Great job Ryan! We need more than ever REAL MEN. There’s an assault on the traditional family amd it’s going to take some real courage from real men to defeat these demons. We need to bring back masculinity to society. It’s not too late. Spread the word to all the men and let’s reclaim our masculinity.
Wow, just separated a few months ago from the same exact description you are in, with my wife. Fortunately no child to hurt. I pray for you. It is certainly a lonely and struggling place to be. I begged GOD to change my wife and to change me. Sometimes, and I have found that most times, people don’t change. I feel for you and pray that GOD give you peace to draw the line that needs to be drawn for change and for a more peaceful and balanced life for you, your husband and your daughter. Blessings 🙏
Husbands love your wife as Christ loved his Church that he laid his life down... Ryan don't know how you can eat that late unless I got the time wrong. Anyway I look to emulate the Golden mean I think its just a great beacon to shoot for, and it means that men serve. Above all you just got to love. What you do as a man has to stem from that love, and all the rest will follow. Doesn't mean violence isn't there but through all the points Ryan makes which were awesome they al go back to love. I think this was Ryans best post.
Preside, provide, protect. Family proclamation to the world. It’s like it’s prophetic or something.
In a way, a relationship is all about negotiation. If both parties involved can establish their goals, frame them with respect of themselves and each other and ensure the building of trust, then I think every party will come out with a win/win situation.
Love the “listen and understand” action. Never heard that perspective before and I am inspired
This is encouraged me to stand up and get the work done
Just came across this channel great content. Thank you for adding value to my life.
Thank you so much for all of the advice you put out I just stumbled onto this channel a couple days ago but every video iv watches has helped
finally someone whos actually married talking about this stuff////love your point of view man...new sub
Hey brother, thank you so much for sharing these thoughts. I'm currently separated praying and trying not to end up divorced - after 24 years of marriage. I see how I've had a huge part in getting us where we are, and a lot has to do with me not leading well as a servant-leader. What you've shared here is extremely valuable for all of us men to practice with our wives and in front of our children. Thank you for what you do.
I pray you listen to his counsel, Alex. Divorce after 24 years of marriage...it's not easy with divorce. I didn't want a divorce but he expected me to be his scapegoat, his mother, didn't want to be an equal partner. I'm paying for it dearly still. Love your wife. What a treasure to be married that many years! Remember who's the enemy. It's not her!
Praying for you. Been there done that.
My wife came to me Dec of 2019 after 28 years of marriage she told me she “thought we should get divorced because we didn’t have anything in common anymore.” 75% of divorces are initiated by women probably because men put up with a poor relationship more than women do. With that said I told her “It has taken 28 years to get here, I’m retiring next year and I just have an ominous feeling that something bad is coming so why don’t we see a counselor to help us navigate what ever we decide and not rush into it.” We had seen several counselors before and never really got to the root of the problem. The one we found is great. In the mean time I was diagnosed with stage one Parkinson’s. Researching it I found studies that suggest a Gut-Brain connection. I quit processed foods, sugar, carbs and I adopted the Bulletproof intermittent fasting diet. I work out once a day doing a half hour of yoga and half hour of weights and exercises. Plus a 4 mile trail run/walk in the woods. Point being I took care of myself and lost 27 lbs. and started looking at what I was doing wrong in the relationship. I started to actually listen to her grievances without countering with mine to negate hers. I noticed that I was carrying emotional crap from my past into the marriage and blaming her for my issues. I began to lead by being kind and not emotional. Feminism has made thing difficult for both women and men. Abandon what the feminist preach and how our culture portrays men and idiots. Women want to know that their spouse is there to protect and care for them no matter what culture tells them. We all need to go back to basics and love our wives from a position of leadership knowing that they are going to test us. When they do, be kind. Good luck in your endeavors.
Sounds like a real drag. The best advice for you g men or single men is to stay single.
@@ez-g3090 that's easy for you to say. Have fun.
At 17.43 ...a meaningful and significant way... to Her.
I've noted that there can be significant differences in what men and women find meaningful and significant.
I have a basic understanding of women and I would still like to partner with one.
Partner not to gain greater understanding of all women, just the one I want to live with.
I cook dinner every night we eat at home and I do all the grocery store...I buy everything for the house even the ladies stuff but she works her ass off and takes care of the house and kids...
Ryan, again… thank you!! I truly appreciate your insight
The biggest thing is to open up to your hurts and love each other and do not blame each other never lie sometimes we see lies as good because when wer hurt we would rather lie because we think it will hurt them no it will help them I derunderstand and what your going through
Yess. I recently got my first girlfriend and i thought i knew everything about leading but i dont, i needed this and i completely agree and this solidified and expanded my knowledge. You effectively changed my life in a small way for the better!
Always start from a place pf humility. Assume there is always more to learn. God bless.
Congratulations
K nkx
I hope your relationship flourishes. Fight hard for it
Thanks for waiting on advertising till the end.
I got topic satiation.
And was willing to listen to it. As opposed to having it forced on me before the topic.
Thank you.
This guy makes the most compelling case for a bachelor lifestyle I've ever heard. Marriage sounds awful, even when you're both trying.
If you look at it purely objectively, then yes. But so is living, surviving, etc when seeing through these lens.
Granted, humans are not purely objectively beings. We need and produce subjectivity and marriage is a very subjective experience. That cant be accurately measured.
He's going through a divorce now!
@@tull199that's hilarious
@@jeradkiester698idk man, its kinda sad. google says it was mainly due to his alcoholism, and he's a war veteran, so there's probably a rabbit hole of of issues
I’m so convicted by this. I don’t know how to move forward.
Great Friday Field Notes! Loved your point about communication and upholding expectations in your relationship. I feel expectations in a relationship are what keep a bond between each other. Holding yourself and each other accountable on those expectations are what keep a relationship strong. Thanks for the video!
Is it really expectations or is wedding vows that we(men and women) should be (able) and willing to hold our marriage partner to?
It seems to me if you have expectations of another person in a nascent relationship you/I are probably setting ourselves up for a fall/disappointment.
This is enough to make me a better husband an father. Thank you
This is also good advice for friendships.
When you can take on the trusting/faith-filled perspective or mindset that your spouse/partner does what s/he does (no matter what s/he does) from a place of genuine caring and love then you've taken a big step towards accepting him/her as s/he is and loving him/her unconditionally.
And just so I am clear the learning process/journey towards loving unconditionally is life-long.
You will never arrive, but that's not to say you shouldn't make the effort because it will be well worth it.
My wife has always followed my lead. So when I was a victim and a Beta she was mirroring that. I had to take responsibility for the relationship first.
I think the "power of a union or marriage" is to be found in the answers to issues or problems that are addressed as a team rather than 2 single individuals trying to come up with solutions individually with no input from either side of the gender divide.
Yeah, Leadership ⚔️👍🏽.
I really appreciate your insights and thoughts. Just gave me a lot to think about thank you.
I needed to hear this, ty very much!!!