How To Survive Workplace Bullying: A Practical Advice ✓
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ม.ค. 2018
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I don't need to tell you how destructive workplace bullying is. Instead, I'll tell you concrete strategies to help you overcome that. The strategies I share in this video will work for you.
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One of my LIG members asked a very interesting question. And because this situation is very common at work environment, I thought you can benefit from it as well. So, here’s the message;
“Deniz, I am in trouble. I joined XXXXX 2 months ago and I am miserable. The cause of my misery is my manager. He’s bullying me in every sense. Apparently, he wanted his friend to be hired for my role and he’s not taking it well that I was hired instead of his friend. At first I thought, it’d be temporary but now even after 2 months, he’s making my life miserable. He is manipulative, he never gives me credit for my own projects, he doesn’t support me at work and hides key information, and worse he even spreads rumors about me. He is double-faced. He can be seen as very charming from outside but he’s a total dictator to me. He plays so many tricks to make me look responsible for failures. One day I couldn’t control my nerves and started crying in the office. Then I saw that he was laughing at my face and calling others to see me like that. It’s a miserable environment. I am not happy and I am thinking about quitting but I don’t want to be unemployed again. I have financial responsibilities. It’s not what I expected from such a prestigious organization. I even approached HR and they didn’t seem to care much at all. Do you think I should still file a complaint with HR? What can I do?"
Ok…
I have seen this situation 100s of times in my consulting career. I was never in that situation at PwC. PricewaterhouseCoopers. But I’ve seen it happening in my client organizations many times. So, I do have a very practical advise for you. Just be patient so I can walk you through my thinking process.
But first, let’s start with what doesn’t work when it comes to workplace bullying aka corporate bullying.
workplace bullying stories
types of workplace bullying
examples of workplace bullying
bullying in the workplace laws
signs of workplace bullying
workplace bullying cases
how to stop workplace bullying
characteristics of a workplace bully
workplace bullying scenarios
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what is bullying and harassment in the workplace
workplace bullying tactics
what does bullying in the workplace look like
workplace bullying stories
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how to survive workplace bullying
workplace abuse
abuse at work
work abuse
corporate bullying
corporate abuse
manager abuse
manager bullying
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HR never helps. They often turn the table against you.
Yep
Bullies at work rely on the fact that you can't prove it. That's what is happening to me.
So true they just stand there and don’t even investigate. What’s the point of their role I was shocked.
@@adrianmargean3402 I'm so sorry! I hope your situation has improved since then. You don't deserve that!
They new more about my relationship then I did 🤣
Toxic work environments are the worst. It really is a very high stress/medically detrimental situation.
True that.
Jennifer Cuddy true! my hairline literally receded
That's why work shooters exist....
Try dealing with this in a secondary school in front of students
Dealing with it right now
It's very hard to find a company that actually stands up to bullies.
People at work wouldnt be doing it if they didnt have support. So if you think about it, bullies are part of the company structure and the people who support them are under the impression that the company cannot function without them. Even if they lose money with the high turnover of people, in their mind the bully is worth 10 people so they do everything they can to keep the bully there.
In some ways that's not their fault, bullies will usually take on jobs and gatekeep those jobs, and they will play the slow game and manipulate people into believing the company can't work without them.
I've seen alot of videos giving advice on what to do in that situation but most of that advice will make things much worse for you, and really the only course of action is for you to leave if you have other options.
Yes
I’ve found that when a supervisor dislikes you they will often recruit your team members and other supervisors to observe you and manufacture scenarios to make you look bad.
Fact.
Yikes!
Yep!
Happening to me right now
Being bullied is one of the hardest things I've ever endured in life. It attacks your self esteem and leaves you in despair. Thank you for your video. Subscribed.
I wish I watched this earlier. I quit my job two years ago because of bullies and yes I was isolated.
I am still unemployed and I am not sure if I am ready to meet more psychopaths!
Well, at least now you know how to deal with them.
Deniz Sasal yes, right. Thank you 🤗
Am currently being bullied by female boss. She picks on me for no reason and force me to put resignation. Our team members are suffering from her and she exhibits bipolar syndrome. She screams and shouts , and same day aftr 2 hours speak calmly as if nothing happened and next day morning start all over with additional vigor. Am not going to resign. Hope she gets the taste of her karma soon.
Priya Joby I swear this was my female boss! She forced me to quit after pushing to get my hours cut to almost zero. I quit a week ago and I got two part time jobs two days after quitting. I've been stress free ever since!
I changed. In my workplace I don't share too much. I do my work and leave. I try to be more professional and not so nice.I don't want people to see me as weak.
My sister was fired today. She put up with her psychopath boss for so long and today the psychopath fired her unfairly. She has so much emotional scarring. I cannot believe how malicious and cruel psychopath bosses are!! Thank you for this tip. It’s hard working in a very toxic environment.
I LOVE the comment bullies are like bacteria they only survive when the environment is right!
Me too ##
Got bullied in my first job at EY. I was the only new hire. I guess that figures why I was a bully bait. I quit my job and fell into depression. I was too traumatized to look for work for a few years. This video gave me strength and assurance. Subscribed!
만세 Huuuray!! same here at another Big4 firm
Same as you, I got bullied in my workplace and I was unemployed for about 3 years. But now Im working with a company with a good boss and co workers. I hope you can find a job that will treat you good. Good luck
You can always work from home
I hate my job so bad. The staff member are very disrespectful even my boss. they make me cry and I also have panic attacks.But am in the process of looking for a new job and getting out of that negative environment .😣😣🙅🙅🙅
Latoya Housey I wish you the best! I’m being bullied by my boss and the staff, who are also bullied, are quiet. I told the bully off and am now being isolated while job searching.
Good luck n God bless
I am the same at the moment. Staff ignores me and doesnt acknowledge my presence. Im trying hard to ignore aswell but I feel so awful it doesnt seem right. I wish i can find a job soon. Its such a toxic place to be.
Just have trust and everything will be alright!
And this is the reason why nobody wants to go back to work after the pandemic. If the Gov't is paying them more to sit home why even bother dealing with crappy boss and Co workers.
Doesn’t have to be a corporate bully. I work in a university and academic bullying is same if not worse.
Very true!
anywhere , there is a human the problems will happen soon or later .
Add frustrated teaching assistant dumping their issues on students to the list
Signs of Bully:
1) giving you all the assignments and picking on you for not completing them.
2) Someone that has a lot of arrogance and don't listen to your recommendations.
3) Someone that is constantly asking you to resign.
4) Takes credit from your work and not giving any recognitions.
5) Calling you about work in the middle of the night.
6) Stalking everywhere you go and check how you doing or coming to get to you to do another assignment.
7) Poorly training you.
8) Use metrics to fire you.
9) Two head snake personality.
10) making you work hard the last hour before you leave and go home.
11) Making you do the hard labor outside of your responsibilities.
12) Lack of respect. Does not see you as human being and don't treat you with respect.
13) People from other departments telling you to watch out
14) creates confrontation out no where for no reason, for small little things.
15) Someone that knows how that target people with manipulation.
16) Someone that constantly screaming and yelling at you.
17) Someone that changes your schedule every other week, or month.
18) Someone miserable or unstable having child support, a lot of personal debt, life been unfair to them.
19) Someone jealous of your accomplishments and see you as a treat for their position. For example: you are college educated and they are not.
20) The perfect narcissist. Also whatchout for the circle of friends. Avoid working for a family own business.
21) Someone that says: "All right, Here is what WE are going to do". The pronoun "we" does not exist. Its you doing it!
22) Not happy with your performance, even though you are doing your job correctly.
23) Look for the high turnover numbers.
24) Not making you part of any cool projects. Not making you part of the team.
25) Constantly manipulating you're pay. For instance: you working on call but don't want to pay you mileage and offer you the full hourly rate. Not paying the overtime that you technically earned and deserved.
26) Someone that does not let you speak and interrupt you constantly.
Those are kind my list of signs, you are in the wrong place, and you dealing with a bully.
Thank you for sharing!
💯 agree. Such people are psychopaths if they are capable of doing it.
Bully scenarios are sooo common and frequent, it's unbelievable.
It's not just bullying.. it's a "corporate psychopath" 😱
And I agree, someone like that lacks empathy and compassion
My manager is a psychopath.
Well, where do I begin. I could write a book about bullying. I've had it all my life lol People picking on me, belittling me, trying to micro manage everything I do, talking down to me like I'm a little child, then there's the patronising behaviour, only focusing on your mistakes, the blame culture, double standards and stupid jokes to make you feel like your the village idiot of the office, which seems to be very popular in the UK. In every office I've worked in (since leaving the shop floor), I have experienced severe bullying. I can relate to the comments on here how it make them feel mentally. Low self esteem, depression, being highly stressed, anxious and feelings of worthlessness - like your an object. I have learnt over the years, never take any of this bullshit personally. The best way to combat it is by standing up for yourself (remembering to pick your words skilfully because they could be used against you), keep things on a professional level and more importantly, never show signs of weakness. I agree with people on here, HR is a waste of space and they can't be trusted.
I'm talking from experience. If you have a dispute with management, they'll always take management's side over you. If I had my time again, I would have trained to be a plumber, electrician, night security guard or any job where you work on your own. For me, working with people is the most challenging part of the job.
Rex makepeace
M
I can totally relate. I have been there too.
I understand how you feel , that why I am thinking about change my career to become truck driver .
Relate much... I hope that you are okay with your job now. God will heal your heart and mind.
I often say the same thing. It’s not the job itself, it’s the ppl you have to work with that makes a job challenging.
I confronted the bully .. I flashed on him and didn’t bug me no more. Then when we were out on strike, I was asking him if he wanted to say anything on his mind. He was terrified as I stood there. He was out of his element.
NICKLE& DIMEz lol yes confronting them is what startles them cuz they don't expect it
You can only do that to low level ones. Most bullies are bullies cos they're more powerful than you
Reject wokeness, actually, bullies are less powerful. That's why they have to work so hard to try to feel better. The terror in their eyes as we simply stand and look straight through them.. is priceless. :-)
Work place bullying and isolation is very damaging - it is ruining my self esteem. I no longer look forward to getting ready for work, keeping my office organized or even getting optimal work done. I feel like every time it gets better an incident occurs and I am right back in that mental state again. I work in a corporate office and am being bullied, isolated and slut shamed by a group of higher - up business men who have a problem with my relationship to another employee. Although we took all of the correct steps to ensure our jobs were not at stake (a formal meeting with HR, meetings with the owners and so forth), we are allowed to pursue our relationship because he is not in my direct line of work. Almost every day I hear something hurtful about me by people I have looked up to for years. A series of "memes" were made about me and sent around the office saying I have things such as "daddy issues", I am a "gold digger" etc. I am trying to hold myself with class and dignity but I am starting to have nightmares about this all.
Omg mee tooo
Jealousy 🙄
Ugh! Y
That's disgusting! Ugh! I really pray it worked out! Myisogyny is real! 🙁😯
I think workplace bullying is reinforced in America, because the system is set up this way, when you work for private business, institution you are at the mercy of your bosses, you are not ptotected from loosing your job, as a matter of fact that what gives the bullyer leverage over you, its like black mailing.
I like to bully the bulliers, and you should too.
If it was me I'd get the license plate numbers of their vehicles, target what they value, i hope this kind of law goes global
This is the best advice i have ever heard on the subject. I just went thru an agonizing office situation. I am older...much older than some around me..and i do know my job very well having done it for over 20 years. I got thrust into a new environment and have been treated like crap from very young managers for no reason. I was clearly targeted. I chose to retire earlier than i planned..infact this very week. I left my job at the absolute worst time for anyone who needs to learn it. I took the high road and gave ample notice and left survival tools in place for anyone who needs to know what to do. But they will be absolutely slammed and overwhelmed. If they had even treated me nicely for one day since ive joined them a year ago i wouldnt be leaving at all much less sticking it to them in this way. But karma is a bitch and they are about to find that out.
Wish you would have added in a warning about how to pick a higher ranking person to be friend. At the company I worked for there was a gang of corporate psychopaths that would network together to bully a victim. The gang had actually taken over many leadership positons by ganging up on one individual at a time and replacing them with one of their member corporate psychopaths. I agree with not openly approaching HR, Corporate headquarters, and other managers, it doesn't work. They may be part of the gang and join in on the bullying or they are afraid of the gang.
Troy George Sounds horrible.
Yes I’ve seen too many gangs in companies. I’m amazed why management do not do anything to stop them
))
Get a USB recording device with records for around 10-12 hours a day, gather the evidence and then take him to court for a big payout if it all goes south.
Already ahead of you. I am taping skype calls and meetings as much as possible. You are allowed to record without letting them know, as long as you are in the actual recording yourself. It is up to the judge or CEO or manager who is going to deal with the matter to use the recordings or not. At least, in the UK, this is the general rule.
Not every state allows that!!! Many many states are two party consent and you’d be breaking the law if you record people without their explicit consent.
@@wendywebster5920 depending on where you guys live check your recording laws. You can get in serious trouble for recording without consent if it requires consent of both parties.
I honestly felt like you were personally speaking to me! I just can't understand why people behave this way toward each other. We're here for a very limited time so let's be kind and lift up one another. Btw, thank you so much for the great advice!
I like your attitude , this is very good attitude in life , i always do that , no need to be mean and rude to the others .
I wish i had this info 26 years ago. This gentleman speaks truth. My career is human resources and they are not an advocate for the employee in these situations. My career and opportunities were squashed while everyone around me were promoting. I have been in chronic depression all those years and took a lot of time off in my despair which caused even more bullying and mobbing. I have been a lower level worker and have desperately wanted a livable wage as I teeter in the edge of poverty. No one had any compassion for my whatsoever. I tried looking for other employment but unsuccessful. I documented everything for 3 years as it was my release. But then accidentally overdosed on Xanax and became unknowingly psychotic. I became paranoid i would be fired. I visited a lawyer about my bullying and said he could do nothing for me until i gave my documentation to HR. It sealed my fate again unknowingly at the time. I work in public employment so all agency HR were a network and talk amongst each other. Pretty sure I had the Scarlett letter a black mark to not hire. I was in too much despair to recognize this. All over the internet i struggled to know if i should disclose bullying or not. There was no definitive answer. But as an insider, i can tell you this video is truth. I had ruthless psychopathic supervisors bent on destroying me. It has left me a broken woman, now nearing retirement with my perpetrators still in my section. There were many times i contemplated suicide but my daughter and God prevented this. I was perceived as “weak” and “too nice.” Whereas I am the one of the strongest people they ever had the pleasure of knowing and a very hard worker. I wish i had this knowledge. A near lifetime of counseling did not help, except the last counselor who gave me some tools. I also came from an abusive/traumatic upbringing which didn’t help. I had been through many abusive boyfriends as well. I can only hope the afterlife will give me peace some day. Now my supervisors are continuing to take away duties but now to train up my replacement when i retire. An evil world. I was not allowed to spread my wings and show all the good things i could contribute, often others got credit and not me. My story is sad, but i want others to learn from it. Ideally, finding a new job is best, otherwise this video is the correct path. Also, it is important to get college education and go into an in demand career that fits your extrovert or introvert personality. Give yourself power to leave a situation and easily find a new without severely impacted economic impacts. God speed my friends.
Excellent story and advice. I am only hoping that your retirement happens soon. You made it! You retired!! Don't let this get you down. You succeeded in HR and you are a success. They can't take it away from you.
I'm dealing with workplace bullying as we speak, they hired a new girl and we've only had her for a month and she thinks she's the manager and is after my manager's position and is already telling me what to do, micromanaging me, criticizing everything I do complaining just generally and it's stressing me out because if I quit I am so scared of losing my apartment and everything that I work hard for ☹️ I dealt with this before many times and I've had many bosses that put me down mentally or cut my hours for me to quit, this new girl is having her friend be hired by my manager and I know it's going to go sour real quick because the favoritism is going to take over and I work at my other job and my current manager is very flexible with my other work schedule and when the new girl takes over as manager she will most likely have no mercy with my work schedule because she doesn't like me to begin with... I've been crying a lot the past few weeks and I am so scared of losing my apartment and everything that I have worked hard for😢
Omg, I'm so sorry you are dealing with all that, even if I don't know you 😢 I have a coworker bully. I don't know what to do, been changing jobs a lot because of bullying, I'm tired of changing jobs. Hope you are in a better place now. And hope I can find a solution for my horrible situation
I pray it worked out!
I like that he came right out and stated the two pieces of advice you’ll always hear (going to HR, or confronting the bully) will not work. Very astute as well to point out the bully is like a bacterium, who needs the favorable environment of perceived weakness to express his toxicity. Sadly, the perceived weakness may be nothing more than someone coming from a different line of work, or a different culture or society, and may need some support, not the sledgehammer of the opportunistic infection.
Hello Deniz, I just came to let you know that you have impacted and being one of the best inputs to my career life. I am a totally changed person after meeting you. Thank you and more heights to you and all yours.
Ah great to hear! I am truly happy that I could help.
@@DenizSasal where were u all these yrs? My narc boss made a hell out of my life over past 3yrs & finally recovering from PTSD & narc abuse. Btw, I am PwC Alumni too..I never faced such a situation there
This just happened to be. It was a great job with good money. However, in my case I quit. I was so disappointed because I worked hard to be in the position. Very good advice.
Actually this is a good video. The work place can be exactly like jail. Someone is trying to mess with you. It's so messed up.
HR may not be helpful, but it is a paper trail that may be needed down the road, so HR is important. But in most instances, I agree with you. I think if you don't show reaction, it scares them, but ultimately finding another place of employment is important. Peace of mind is more than $.
You are so professional.You give me the feeling of -- internet parent --- while giving such real-life problem's solution.
Great to hear!
Boss sounds like classic narcissist.
I feel like crying, my coworkers are bullying me EVERYDAY since one of our coworkers were fired, and even before that, but now it's worse because I have to deal with some problems at home too and it's really overwhelming...I try not to react to them but I've gotten to the poiny where I feel like crying everytime I think I have to go to work and spend 7 hrs with them, I feel sick, worse of all is I can't even quit because my mom and sister depend on me
I feel you, it happens to me also before. My family depends on me. I hope you are okay now.
Get a friend with power or someone with power to work look for a figure that can crush them all. They are just a bunch of cowards and remember the eagles fly aline
Don't give too much weight to family. I'm financially supporting my mum and when I was telling her my situation at work and telling her I'm contemplating suicide, she just walked away. I'm sure she hopes I die so she gets my money. Screw family, even they are just making use of you.
Never ever go to HR! I did this and took the company to court - even the employment judge was on their side. Best thing is to get allies - get addresses and find out as much as you can about the bullies and take them out one by one. If another job comes up somewhere else leave but get the bullies! Great advice 👍🏽👌🏽😉
Thank God I saw this comment from you. I'm lucky because of you man. Love and blessings
So true...
Paulamcnally11 what was your situation ?
Most bullying can't be documented or proven. It's almost impossible to put up a case
My boss sets my work and therefore I don't believe this method would work I can't work with other people
If you ever see Deniz Sasal anywhere in the world, airport, seminars wherever, buy the GUY a drink at least!...
haha. No objection from me!
I have come to a conclusion that bullying is contagious and should be quarantined as soon as possible. If it isn't, the bully creates a toxic breeding habitat and gives birth to more little bullies. This results into further three groups:
1. The bully and his gang.
2. The resistance with conscience/competence; who have less to lose and take the risk for a better working environment.
3. People who sit in the corner, with no hope or struggle for change. They can be those who may have been a part of the resistance, but lost their shine and resolve.
Summarizing, if the management fails to take actions against the bully and his self made cartel/rules, then there is no light at the end of this tunnel. This also explains why there is a significant probability for corporate CEOs and top level executives to have psycopathic tendencies.
My being bullied situation was nightmare. I lost my job and even after that the bully and rumor still affected on me to find the job in the same field. After 8 month’s unemployment, I found the job in a totally other industry and started as a beginner. I experienced all the things mentioned,got isolated, rumors, all mistake counted on me, designed traps, assignments of the tasks out of my competency, minimized me, not allowing me to add value on the job, double faced, made me to carry over the others mistakes, gave me wrong indication and when the problem happened, she started to lie that I did it willful without listening her prevention. All because she wanted to introduce her friend in to take over my job. And one time my husband talked something to defend me and irritated her. She complained me for my husband’s behavior to HR with exaggeration and false wording and threaten me to quit. I suffered a lot of that time, sleepless, helpless, cry, lost a lot of hairs, depressed. I won’t forgive this person even one day she dies.
Im sorry to hear about your experience. I hope you are okay now.
Currently suffering bullying. To the point of indirectly saying i am stupid, an ape having small brain, and accuse me of things i didnt do. I felt so helpless, and i am crying now while typing. If it werent for my family, ill quit the job.
Sending virtual hugs to you. I hope you are okay now and let karma do the work for them.
Record them.
Record them, please don't breakdown. You are loved by your family, I hope and pray you'll be stronger and survive this situation
As a woman from an ethnic minority I have faced sexism, racism throughout every environment in life especially at work. Hence why I am going on the self employed path. I have never been happier with a much bigger healthier bank account too.
This is heartbreaking and I can totally relate.
Wow, this was actually good advice, everyone has been telling me to go to HR but I'm worried it'll make it worse since my supervisor is one of the people bullying me. I now feel I have options other than quitting my job. Thank you so much man, you've given me hope when I've felt hopeless for months.
I am watching many videos on workplace bullying lately. Things have gotten so far that my manager is even using the recent death of my mother to degrade and mock me. At her funeral this weekend I was standing at her grave, anxious about the drama at my job! How could things go so bad? I was a well respected staff member. Now I am isolated and don't know, whom to trust anymore. Your advice makes so much sense! I feel encouraged to give this a try. I want to go to work without pain and fear again.
zwiesland I’m currently dealing with this and I’m just completely exhausted
I've seen this happen quite a lot in Sales Teams. This was great advise! Enjoying the LIG program, Thank you.
Thanks Robert! True that. It does happen a lot in sales teams. Welcome to LIG by the way. If you have any questions, please feel free to email me. My email address is in the course main page. Cheers!
I used to have a team lead who would withhold key info for projects and whenever I by-passed him to reach out directly to the client he would get really mad. Then I noticed as soon as he took another position overseas that all the blurry requirements and conflicts regarding "chain of command" were gone, everything turned into clarity. Interestingly I also realized that couple of months before, I got engaged on many technical projects with relevant org partners and they started to reach out to me due to the trust that was built between us, when this started to happened this guy stopped the withholding, so I guess this experience is pretty similar to what you've just explained. Thanks for the info! It worths gold! :)
I wish I can say that the simple solution is to just quit, but unfortunately, many of us do not have new employment waiting for us.
Thanks, man! I'm in a such situation right now and I've decided just to change my workplace in the same company. But what is funny my bullies are trying to make me feel shame of my decision, because in their opinion I'm making them looking responsible for this situation. They can't accept that actually they are responsible for that...
It's probably not convenient for them to accept responsibility. I am not surprised.
All the more reason to move workplace. I am sure you have done this by now and are much happier. My motto is (sadly) "Trust no one, then you can only be happily surprised when a good person does come along". And they are - unfortunately - very very rare.
I am being bullied by an employee who wanted my position. She admits that she is jealous, but she can't control her envy. My superior says that I can fire her, but there is no one to replace her, so I would have to take on her duties, also. The situation is abusive and emotionally draining. What's sad is that the other women in the office take her side, which was planned before they all even met me. My only choice is to look for another job.
I face same situation in my office...it was cultural differences...I choose option to ignore my bully boss, also created value addition in my profile which is helping me to get attention from other managers... Thank you again for this video...
Hi Abhinav. I hope your issues get resolved soon. I don't suggest you ignore your bully boss though. I strongly suggest you implement what I share in this video. It'll help you tremendously. Cheers.
Deniz ,Thank you my issue is resolved...
I don’t know why people still insist on trying to bully me at work... Instead of alliances, I give em cancer, heart attacks, strokes, etc. 😉
LOL. Bully for you, Nene P.
How? Please elaborate
I endured 7 years of bullying in my 2nd company... if I can do that to stay long, I can do it anywhere... In my current company, there are people who seem to sizing me up. I am ready for them.
u endured 7 years? How was it? I feel like I want to hug you.
Well! Bullying is everywhere and I have faced it as well. Thanks a ton for your videos. I watch them regularly and learn from them. Thank you for all the help. You are my mentor. True advice is rare to find.
Thank you Amol.
psychopaths are more common than we think, especially as the world becomes more over-populated, there's more competition now for jobs.
Lookin' good buddy! Glad you're still killin' it. Love the background too!
Big fan of you two👏thanks for all the videos👍
This guy knows what he's talking about. Sage advice, especially the networking and increased visibility 👍
Thanks Deniz, This is probably my most genuine thanks I could give. I have watched alot nearly all your videos and I found them ABSOLUTELY helpful. I believe you are sincere and honest in approach and advice, please keep it up and never change it, I think its what makes the message hit home. I hope you live a bountiful life.
Thank you. You are very kind!
I went through such hurting experience even within pwc. My mistake was that I took everything too personally. At the end the persons who bullied me got promoted, got further with their careers and made me quit the job. I wish Deniz I had a chance to hear your helpful video 10 years ago. Thank you for your advices.
Hi Ala. Good to hear from you again! I hope all is well. As I mentioned in the video, bullies can be very manipulative and use those skills to excel in their careers. It's rare but these corporate bullies can still exist in top-notch organizations.
So sorry for your experience. I'm going through the same with a different consultancy firm. I resigned as I couldn't take the psychological abuse any more. No pay check is worth sacrificing my health and self respect.
As to consultancy I've never experienced such a competitive and cold hearted environment and culture before.
I don’t think you realise how lucky you are, if you remain in that environment with the bully they always have the potential to destroy everything you’ve worked for. I got promoted at my place and the bullying got worse, the bully was too smart and was already planting the seeds against me, she was nice to me for a short while but soon enough changed.
I believe it. I worked at another Big4 firm and similar behavior and experiences
Would never thought that people in such places were cold hearted and so evil. Were they raised upright by their parents or did some evil nasty person raised them up to become bullies in the corporate world. I do hope that KARMA would never chase them. I hope not, I honestly hope not.
I have seen that when someone is balling and Ive seen others all of a sudden become happy-people are sick
This is really good advice and I wish I had seen it 14-17 years ago when I was targeted by workplace bullies. Although I believe that workplace bullying, at least in the UK, is more common than you think. You are completely right when you say that human resources will not resolve the problems. The sole purpose of human resources is to protect the companies ass, so it is guaranteed that they will brush off any grievance as differences in communication styles or the fault of the way the victim perceives things.
I had a problem with a manager and his sidekick, usual stuff, lying about stuff, overloading with work, calling me a dog etc. I had 2 witnesses as to what was going on, company did not put a stop to it. They started on a 17 year old employee, who came into my department to find me and tell me what was going on, this was witnessed by 2 other people, different from first 2. I advised him to speak to the workplace union reps and told him I could not be involved, I spoke to the union myself and let them know what had occurred, as I view this as their function to resolve. The kid tried to tell me more stuff, but I told him he needed to speak to the union. Instead of keeping this advice to himself and acting on it, he trumpeted it to the sidekick as advice that had come from me. The main bully then forced him to make a statement that I had told him to 'kick the shit out of' the manager.
Needless to say that as a result of this false statement, the company started disciplinary proceedings against me. The only thing I could do was employ a solicitor to warn the kid off from taking this course of action. The kid then complained to a mutual friend that he had received a solicitors letter, the friend asked what had gone on. The kid went on to admit to having his arm twisted to make an untrue statement, but would not go to the union and tell them the truth as to what was going on because he was frightened of losing his job. The friend went to the union and did this herself. Despite witnesses saying that the kid chased after me telling me this tale of woe and witnesses saying that the union had been notified about what had gone on and a witness statement saying that the kid had admitted to the statement being untrue and it being extorted out of him, I received a final written warning.
As you can imagine, I then tried to find another job. This did not go down well and let me put it this way I was sacked on yet more trumped up lies.
As you can imagine the sickness rates and staff turn over was horrendous. Firstly, people went down with bad backs, so much so that occupational health was bought in and ergonomic assessments were done. Then sickness and diarrhoea was the illness du jour. Eventually, HR must have started to catch on to what the problem was. One day the kid turned up on my doorstep, he said that a person who he had been friendly with who had been a summer intern, had been re-employed as a mole. Said mole had been subject to some pretty bad behaviour and this time the manager could not wriggle out of it and had to go. The funny thing, he now works in a coffee shop part-time and he sure is not the manager there. There is even a review of the coffee shop on the internet that says how rude and abrupt he is. May be another disgruntled colleague? His daughter got banned from driving for being 3 times over the drink drive limit, he tried to plead that his daughter had drunk the alcohol after she had been driving, when the police showed up at his home and she was found collapsed on the kitchen floor. Did I believe that, not likely, and thankfully neither did the judge. It just amazes me that HR does not seem to be able to see the damage that these sorts of people do to their business, I know that I was not his only victim and to have witnesses it beggars belief. Even just seeing this sort of behaviour has got to be bad for staff morale, who the hell could trust a guy like this?
I am a LIG member. Just landed a great job today. I am a none English speaker. What I did was to watch Deniz’s video many times and I ended up talking like him at the interview which went pretty well. Thanks heaps!
The way I handled this was being direct with the person. I told the bully everything that needed to be said especially if they are lazy. The bully may not like it, but it doesn’t matter it made me have POWER!! The bully NEVER again said anything to me again!!
That might work in case the manager needs friends in the company, but many of them when they are sociopaths and eager to keep power they don't care. I worked in a hospital in Germany and was the secretary of the boss. She bullied almost everyone. I got easily contact to other colleagues and even to the doctors. Everyone hated her but they all were afraid to lose their job, so it was obvious that no one would help me. Because I had to work closest to her she bullied me most and every day. It became a nightmare and I couldn't sleep anymore and was scared each day to go there. I had no chance but to quit. And after that I needed a therapist. I swore to myself to never accept such a situation again in my life. Some years later I had another job and in the first week a similar kind of bullying happened, I did quit the next day. The funny thing is that they were really surprised... That's happening when you have to deal with narcissists. They think they're so wonderful that no one ever would dare leaving their company...
Work is prison. Lol. Thank you for your videos!
My pleasure.
Valerie Yoder Prisons probably better at least u get your own cell & pray for a good roommate...
I just logged in to like your video. I have been looking for this advise since 5 years ago and I usually stumble on the videos that need to go to HR or confront the bully. Your message is such of greater value for those who are being targeted. Thank you.
HR just makes sure you don't have a good case to sue your employer. If you are being bullied, GET OUT! That's what I've learned.
I could not AGREE more !!!!!! I wish I heard this message during the time I experience it myself. Fortunately, I did exactly what you advised, and, exactly as you said, the bullying disappeared.
Thanks 4 the advice. Unfortunately it works only if you boss is not very powerful. I was bullied by a partner of KPMG being a manager. And they all grouped together and supported the bully.
I was harassed by my manager at work, my boss literally scolded me with twitched red eyes as if she was in rage only for the reason I messaged her after work hours and then two weeks later i was fired!
Thank you for uploading the videos even though you are super busy. We learn from you a lot. Thanks so much.
I am happy to help whenever I can. Thanks Khine.
The problem is once they demean or defame you , that's what they want to do , it can move on to social bullying , and sort of community mobbing over a period of time , their are bullies , and their devotees, lots of bystanders and you will find virtually no upstanders trust me I know .
My experience too. Hope you're doing okay ?
Even if you lose a job. Don't tell this story anybody in a new, especially your new boss. The chances are that he may too do the same thing. I have done this silly mistake and I am regretting now.
You’ve just helped save me from a new boss after 26 years in peace. Thank you! I will work super hard to make alliancesr with those above her. So grateful!!
My boss just sabotaged my transfer to another location. He said I am rarely ever there (I took some days off at the beginning of the year due to the flu, having a 100 degree+ fever, etc.) The other day he slapped my ass (not sexually but to be "funny" and to humiliate me). When I had returned from being sick, he asked me, "is your vagina still hurting or do you need to go home again?" He will never let you stand up for yourself, is a narcissist, and makes a lot of money to basically walk around and make jokes all day. I bust my ass, and he criticises every little thing I do. He keeps getting promoted and nobody seems to dislike him, but I need this job. Very frustrating, as he is in control of my livelihood and is really messing with my self esteem. He is very unprofessional but the higher-ups like him because he is a jokey "funny" (not in my opinion) extroverted guy. I'm quiet and subdued, and my introversion counts against me. Okay, *end rant* lol
This is the most succinct and strategic advice that I've seen on this topic.
Building powerful alliances. Great strategy to survive corporate psychos
Yeah I have a supervisor, who constantly picks on me and made work uncomfortable. I confronted him before and yet retaliates and spread rumours about me. Unprofessional for his behalf I've dealt with him for 2 years and yet his never been accountable for his actions after so many complaints happens towards him. Never I've seen anyone take any action against him. This was ridiculous how I got in trouble after standing up to him. It was stupid and unethical how I get bsed. Well I try to look for another job but pretty sure I will be facing another problem like this again
This is really good advise! I’ve been searching for something about coworker bullying for a long time now. Thank you.
If they're in a corporation it's up to 15 to 25% in the higher levels. Equal to the number in prison. Makes you think.
75 000 views at the moment I'm watching your video, you deserve much more. Finally someone who gives practical advice that makes sense and actually works ! Thank you for the insights.
They are sociopaths, I know becauxse i dealt with IT . Ultimately i left becauxse I had a fight with the Guy, becauxse NOTHING helped....I knew by then that I AM going to lose...... But I ruined him too by deleting all data for good......
Wow! This is an amazing video - wonderful response! I have been bullied at work...I did end up quitting my job and am now beginning a new one. Thank you for your insight!!!
I am going through a situation with a bully manager at work. I did reach out to HR to just talk through solutions on how to deal with said manager in a healthy way. I didn’t even make a formal complaint. However, I am pretty sure the HR person sent the email to my supervisor. She denied it and stated that my supervisor reached out on her own. This is a learning experience for me. I am going to beef up my resume and keep a look out for a different job. This is an incredibly toxic work environment
Best of luck Jennifer!
Everything you just mentioned in the video is what’s happening to me. It’s to the point where I can’t even have a good night’s rest. You have a new subscriber.
Plus I almost went to hr. I had to ask a friend if I should go but she said it will make it worse.
They do it in different ways. My partner is ex navy officer and MBA columbia. Smart but also very tough physically (weight trainer and endurance races) so all the bully's know they can not cut it normal way. Only way they can do it, is not talking to him and try and hold back certain information.
This channel is an absolute goldmine!
I have been verbally bullied for the past 7 months by a perkinelmer employee llantrisant plant south wales uk .Just befor easter i lost it with him and as a result have been on sick ever since .They sacked him but all HR are concerened with is what happened on that day and not the seven months of abuse. I have given them a statment but they want to stich me up for loosing it .The tempory guy has been sacked or layed off but i remain on the sick .these employees know whats going on in these places but turn a blind eye cause they make too much money .
This is the reason why nobody wants to go back to work after the pandemic and people accuse you of being lazy. We'll if the Gov't is paying you more to sit home why even bother going to a crap miserable job that's gonna make you feel miserable.
I am being bullied after i was hired. Started happening since day 2 and my manager comes to work drunk. I cant find a job with any good standards or protections for workers.
Have been watching since you were at less than 6k subscribers, glad to come back and find that you're already at 90k. Still an underrated channel!
Thanks Wes. You are very kind.
Best advice ever. My current managers are nice but great to know. Thanks heaps
I'm going through same thing, I'm an artist, my supervisor is so controlling, checks my communications, doesn't let me communicate with people of power, i'm fed up with it, thinking about quitting after more than 4 years of work at that company, he keeps telling me i'm in this company for over 20 years and know it all. he lies about deadlines and constantly disrespects me, and adds stress to the team for small things...
He's been at that job because he got strategies, not because he's talented ...
Now I'm stressed, I got financial responsibility , don't feel like going to work and see that mother fucker again . even though wanted to stay in the company and i know finding another job would be tough.
Thank you for the time you put into this and other videos and I'm really glad to see that you are one of the good guys.
I cried at work too.
The very first video that is realistic, honest and offers practical advices which make sense. Thank you.
Good morning! Off to start my first day on my brand new job! All of your videos helped me land this job with a much better company. Thank you!
Congratulations Andrea. Very happy for you!
Great, exactly this happened in my career and approach like you said access to power really worked in my case. thanks.
Happy to hear Firoz.
Thank you for one more great video! Your advice really helps me get through some tough situations.
Great to hear Shivangi! Cheers.
Hey Deniz, thank you very much. I watched you all videos and cleared my interview for AMCC. You are just awesome, I am big fan ☺️☺️
Wow, this is so true in the corporate world. Thanks, good advice.
I had carpal surgery in September, went back to part-time in November, full-time in December. I'm still recovering. Being pressed to go over my eight hours to work through pain is unethical to me. Now I'm being bombarded with emails almost in an a antagonist way. It's making me feel uncomfortable. I feel like they don't want to understand my recovery. I have a doctor's note and they ignored it they said it wasn't sufficient.
You are amazing thank you for sharing I'm going to use this in my current project! Definately watching all your videos !