WHY MEN GET SECRET SECOND WIVES - EP 8 || BITTER TRUTH SHOW

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 เม.ย. 2023
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  • @queenzahra313
    @queenzahra313 ปีที่แล้ว +787

    Btw I’m willing to share my husband with my girlfriends especially when they r single mothers who can’t get married or find someone who can give them halal relationship

    • @dcfootball1
      @dcfootball1 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      ​@@webnovelsatu1455 SubhannAllah

    • @mk-ld8ih
      @mk-ld8ih ปีที่แล้ว +30

      You're a real one!

    • @Ahmed-vw3iw
      @Ahmed-vw3iw ปีที่แล้ว +195

      Queen....its alright for muslim woman to not be ok for their husband's to have a 2nd wife. It's better for the wife to be clear on her preference on that so it doesn't affect their spousal relationship and that the Husband makes a responsible decision

    • @truebeliever369
      @truebeliever369 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Ooo u got a point Sister.

    • @alia-wm8ug
      @alia-wm8ug ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @@Ahmed-vw3iw don't worry about her emotions, she understands men.

  • @HA-df2qz
    @HA-df2qz ปีที่แล้ว +1134

    Brothers can't make 5 daily fard prayers but wants 4 wives because its a sunnah 😅

  • @theandalusianproject5268
    @theandalusianproject5268 ปีที่แล้ว +2582

    99% of brothers struggle to make ends meet and talk about wanting a second wife 😂

    • @Ak-wv2gw
      @Ak-wv2gw ปีที่แล้ว +70

      Desires are strong I guess

    • @theandalusianproject5268
      @theandalusianproject5268 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@shimmer4771 i wish the best for that 1% and its the right Allah has given. But in all honesty, in the western context where women can have any guy they want, youre probably only gonna pull that off if you get ur second wife from overseas. No way that western muslim women, who probably have a higher education than you as a man, are going to go along with that. Im not saying its not the right of the man, but in reality in the western context, this just aint gonna fly. Good luck convincing them that they just have to accept it and put their emotions aside, its easier for you to move a mountain in all seriousness

    • @mk-ld8ih
      @mk-ld8ih ปีที่แล้ว +123

      ​@@shimmer4771and so they should have the right to marry a second without being looked down on.

    • @shimmer4771
      @shimmer4771 ปีที่แล้ว +119

      @@mk-ld8ih Agreed. But, don't expect for the sisters to welcome it with open arms. It's a test.

    • @RR-om3zx
      @RR-om3zx ปีที่แล้ว +114

      Lmao what a weird take. You ask Allah that you need more rizq for a second wife, I strongly believe he will give you those means if you uphold the rest of your deen. Let's not mock the poorer brothers, for one day the supposed richer ones can end up poor.

  • @almara90
    @almara90 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +452

    If a man wants a second wife, you discuss that before marriage. When they have secret, it means his wife is against it. He knew, he married her and now has changed his mind. Marry someone who is open to it from the beginning. Nothing wrong with it, but it’s wrong to force people who do not want to live that lifestyle. Not everyone wants to live like that.

    • @alphauno6614
      @alphauno6614 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

      Polygyny is a right given as a default by the Creator of all creation. There is no need for him to discuss something only 1, 2 or 3% of men do. If you want to discuss it then by all means. Please don’t bend Allah’s religion. You cause nothing but confusion.
      I ask Allah to guide us all and to remain steadfast on the truth.

    • @almara90
      @almara90 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +78

      @@alphauno6614 It’s not compulsory. Most men that practice do not fit that criteria needed to practice. It’s fine if a man wants to do it. But do that with women who also want that. The ones that don’t are not obligated or forced by religion to do it. Which is why I stated to discuss this like you would discuss children, finances etc. it it will lead to a lot of chaos.

    • @alphauno6614
      @alphauno6614 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@almara90 “Most men that practice do not fit that criteria needed to practice.” You made a claim here so prove it. What study are you referring to? If it’s just an opinion then it is my opinion that the overwhelming majority of men and women in polygynous marriages love it soooo much that they have better marriages than their monogamous counterparts.

    • @KH-hc6sy
      @KH-hc6sy 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +46

      ​@@alphauno6614it is true, most Muslim men use this to fill their selfish desires and it doesn't come from a selfless place.

    • @AdnanKhan-jn8dz
      @AdnanKhan-jn8dz 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      If we were to keep our deen first instead of emotions and our western ideology (which has for sure infiltrated our mind) women wouldn't have that much of an issue when it comes to second wife

  • @seekknowledge2643
    @seekknowledge2643 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +308

    SubhanAllah, im struggling to find 1 wife let alone 2. Social media isnt just destroying homes, its destroying the ability to make one.

    • @muhamadbikwesi4397
      @muhamadbikwesi4397 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      If you can’t take care of two you have to take one ☝️

    • @mard7880
      @mard7880 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      lol

    • @shanaz3
      @shanaz3 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

      May Allah bless you with a pious wife Insha’Allah

    • @seekknowledge2643
      @seekknowledge2643 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@shanaz3 ameen

    • @MomAndKittingsJourney
      @MomAndKittingsJourney 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Now u have wife...?

  • @SC-uv5le
    @SC-uv5le ปีที่แล้ว +486

    If you can’t handle it don’t do it! DONT lie! Secret marriage is a recipe for disaster PERIOD. Have a conversation!

    • @yosephyermaiah2148
      @yosephyermaiah2148 ปีที่แล้ว

      False religion, come out of it guys. Just lies and deception. Jesus Christ is the only way.

    • @shimmer4771
      @shimmer4771 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      I would be very hurt if I found out my husband took a second wife in secret.

    • @butterjupitar
      @butterjupitar ปีที่แล้ว +16

      God made 1 man and 1 woman to be together. God never commanded men to have 4 wives, but allowed it for the sake of protecting women who couldn't support themselves. Jesus is the Truth and the only way to the Father, no one comes to the Father except through Jesus

    • @LivelyFig
      @LivelyFig ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@butterjupitar You quite literally don't know what you're talking about.
      How many wives did the Prophet Soloman have?

    • @butterjupitar
      @butterjupitar ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@LivelyFig 700 wives and 300 concubines, but did God command Solomon to have that many wives? No and did God say it was okay to have that many wives? Also no, What you are saying is that "If God allows all those things to happen then that means He definitely commanded it", Do you know what was also allowed but not commanded? P3dophillia, homosexuality, murd3r, torture, abuse, but did God command it or said it was okay? no, and unlike these which basically ruin mankind, polygamy wasn't negative for a specific purpose: to protect women, it was allowed in order to protect women because they couldn't support themselves, and when a man marries that many wives, he should take care of them, and did you know what happens to Solomon for having that much wife? I don't think you do, they led him away from God, it's just that issue. God kept silent about it because telling them that it wasn't His will at THAT time, will cause women to live in worst situations especially when it doesn't have a better outcome. The will of God is *one* man and *one* woman, if God wanted men to be polygamous, then Adam would have other wives beside Eve.

  • @forestsprite30
    @forestsprite30 ปีที่แล้ว +800

    Marriage is something that should be openly declared, not hidden. This is part of the Sunnah. If a man is too fearful of his first wife's potential reaction, he isn't mature enough to be taking on the responsibility of a second wife.

    • @thenewcamelot8873
      @thenewcamelot8873 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      In uk they should follow uk law only one wife is allowed they are scare to tell ther truth because our law will protect and back upo the wife

    • @thelogicalx
      @thelogicalx ปีที่แล้ว

      🙌🏼

    • @thealifexablecreed9811
      @thealifexablecreed9811 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Then why did your prophet lie to his wives?

    • @marisakennedy777
      @marisakennedy777 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Following Ali Dawah's logic, if the Prophet had allowed 9 wives, wouldn't men want 9? The Prophet wanted 9.

    • @forestsprite30
      @forestsprite30 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      @@marisakennedy777 There was a reason for each of the Prophet pbuh's marriages. Read the biography of his life. The Quran limits men to up to 4 but doesn't advise them to marry multiple women. Ali Dawah's logic is irrelevant here

  • @thesimmer9007
    @thesimmer9007 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +227

    As a muslim woman, ı prefer live single rather than live with some lie..

    • @TheNiceOne_
      @TheNiceOne_ 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

      I wonder what would happen if all Muslim women just stopped marrying 😂 Muslim men can still marry non Muslim women but they woudnt take this disrespect either 🤣

    • @_1Solo
      @_1Solo 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      *as a modern western woman*

    • @TheNiceOne_
      @TheNiceOne_ 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

      @@_1Solo no she said “as a Muslim woman” you can’t tell her who and what she is. She already knows. Not every Muslim woman who stands up for herself is “modern western Muslim woman” and being western isn’t a reason to look down on someone. That’s racist.

    • @_1Solo
      @_1Solo 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@TheNiceOne_ you’re right😂

    • @mk-19memelauncher65
      @mk-19memelauncher65 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      That's your choice, but you can't say it's Haram for a man to do that anyway.

  • @hafsajama4195
    @hafsajama4195 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    Saying “well she’s not going to be okay with so that is why I lied” is ridiculous. If a woman lied to you about having children because you wouldn’t accept it would you be okay with that?

    • @shabs2134
      @shabs2134 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It is halal for Muslim men to lie to their wives, especially when it comes to marrying a second secret wife. That is why they do it. And as a Muslim woman, there's nothing you can really do about it.

    • @nami20622
      @nami20622 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@shabs2134So can the woman also lie to you?

  • @Jinohas143
    @Jinohas143 ปีที่แล้ว +578

    Marriage is a partnership that involves trust, honesty, and communication. When one partner cannot share information it can seriously damage the foundation of the relationship, imagine hearing it from the outside world that your partner is married to someone else, that is the biggest betrayal. i feel like people need to voice their wants from a relationship before they get into the relationship.

    • @Think_pls
      @Think_pls ปีที่แล้ว +14

      But what can you do when allah himself allows this
      That's what the scholars say

    • @7Kazi7
      @7Kazi7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Or how about acceptance of each others flaws? It's hypocritical for you te expect a man to accept that you have desires, like going for a nice dinner, or just giving you money, but then not accept his desires. Men and women are meant to work with eachother, not against eachother.

    • @user-74856
      @user-74856 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Think_pls exactly......these feminists think they are bigger than scholars of Islam.......well ......news flash..... YOU ARE NOT!

    • @GODOURSALVATION.
      @GODOURSALVATION. ปีที่แล้ว

      That's why Islam is a satanic sex cult.

    • @Therebelliousprince001
      @Therebelliousprince001 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@susanna9831 If you hate men so much, why bother even concerning yourself with us?
      Don't get married. 🤷🏻
      I pity your mahrem mn (if you have any).

  • @esthellakomerl8084
    @esthellakomerl8084 ปีที่แล้ว +127

    The first time I'm realising that Ali Dawah lacks wisdom and maturity. He shouldn't be propagating the idea that the wife is to blame for men who are adulterous. A sincere, God fearing man, won't make such a flimsy excuse.. 'God made us men weak'.!! 🤦 An adulterer will still be an adulterer, even if he takes two, three or four wives. Men should stop looking at women as trophies, but as responsibilities. And stop blaming women for their own flaws and weakness.

    • @MariaPerez-sb1xp
      @MariaPerez-sb1xp 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Getting another wife because he's no longer attracted to the first one is also a dead end. All women lose their cute spark after birthing children due to weight gain and aging. You can't just divorce all four after aging and weight gain.

    • @musicplug1730
      @musicplug1730 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Keep that same energy when it comes to women being emotional and going through there hormonal issues

    • @Trueneutron
      @Trueneutron หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I kind of agree 👍🏼

    • @sadawski
      @sadawski หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      When the man isn’t there and his wife is lustful, should she cheat? By this logic she’s entitled to. When his libido drops, when he’s sick, when he is tired, while he’s a work, you know the men work long hours. 😂

    • @Itzvnessa.
      @Itzvnessa. 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Funny how a man’s natural jealousy is always right and catered for but a woman’s natural jealousy of her husband bringing another woman into the marriage is wrong, evil and too emotional. No one seems to admit that men needing to have multiple women they rotate around constitutes to having a lust problem and that covering that up by getting multiple women and calling it “marriage’s” will not fix your lust problem. The bible says to deny your flesh and follow the Lord but in Islam it seems that your flesh and human desires should be honoured 🤷🏾‍♀️. We can all see how having multiple women wrecks marriages and affects children aswell as the family unit but it’s all ok as long as the man is sexually satisfied because a man’s sexual satisfaction is put above all else apparently.

  • @skiiiuup
    @skiiiuup 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +225

    Ali, when you ask a fellow brother “Do you ever wish to have a second wife?” and he says, “No”, don’t immediately object/become cynical. Understand the nuance of your own question. As a young man myself, I completely agree with you that all men have the desire to have multiple sexual/romantic partners, but that doesn’t mean that all Muslim men want multiple wives. While there are plenty of Muslim men out there who would deny wanting multiple wives in fear of upsetting their current wife, there are also plenty of men out there who deny this because they do not want to take on the religious, emotional, and financial responsibilities that come with marrying more than one woman. So when the brother to the right of MH or the husband of sister Amira says that they are not interested in a second wife, they’re not lying. The sister in the white hijab made a good point at 56:57 when she said that you don’t let anyone say no to your question. I’m sure you already understand all this, but please understand the nuance of the question your asking.

    • @malakelgendy2580
      @malakelgendy2580 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +55

      Idk why but he always pushes polygamy so hard . It’s halal so i HAVE to accept it but dont push it like that it’s not mandatory its sunna

    • @skiiiuup
      @skiiiuup 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@malakelgendy2580 I don’t think he’s pushing for men to choose polygamy, I think he’s trying to eliminate the stigmatization surrounding polygamy, which is a good thing.

    • @malakelgendy2580
      @malakelgendy2580 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      @@skiiiuup then that’s good ! In my country which is an islamic country (egypt) polygamy is rare it is sadly looked down at ..
      They view the man as lustful and the first wife as (not good enough) so i hope they change the way they see it

    • @shimmer4771
      @shimmer4771 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@malakelgendy2580 That's sad. A Muslim country should gladly accept this. It's a bit disappointing.

    • @yasminea7149
      @yasminea7149 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      might be good reasons even Islamic countries don't want to encourage all men to practice polygamy. This will lead to wealthy men monopolizing the majority of women, up to 4 each as there will be no negative stigma and womren are told there's nothing you can do about it and can't ask for divorce for this reason. Long-term, more and more men will remain single. More and more children will be related to each other and cannot marry each other, so this will lead to a reduction in population for that country. The LDS Mormons are routinely kicking out young men from their society bc there are not enough women and the polygynous men want to protect their multiple wives and not share with the young men. Thus, instead of telling women they're selfish for not wanting to share their one husband, men are actually selfish for demanding multiple wives at times where such a drastic measure is not required, i.e., wars and not enough men, etc.

  • @Mou-Stasche
    @Mou-Stasche 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +118

    Calls women emotional but, everytime someone says something bad about polygamy hes about to burst into tears.
    😂

    • @NullNull-cw1vi
      @NullNull-cw1vi 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      They call men emotional but, everything men says about polygyny they burst into tears 😂

    • @oftheuchihaclan8325
      @oftheuchihaclan8325 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      He doesn't seem to understand the weight of the question. The question he wants to ask is, 'if your wife was happy would marry a woman just for sex' but obvs can't ask that. Majority of men don't want a headache and know having a second wife is a recipe for a headache. He has to work more, earn more, spend more, more responsibility, two people to protect, two sets of kids. It's long

    • @sadawski
      @sadawski หลายเดือนก่อน

      God in Al baqarah says along the lines of azwajun mutahara in heaven that’s for all that go to heaven. 2:25 so what is he talking about?

    • @lisettecamejo4243
      @lisettecamejo4243 หลายเดือนก่อน

      yeah the guy. in tje grey shirt has a mean streaK in him

    • @lisettecamejo4243
      @lisettecamejo4243 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Muhammad's wife were seperate not together

  • @mahpeyker6794
    @mahpeyker6794 ปีที่แล้ว +114

    When I look at the comments by men below this video, I can see the current moral level and it’s alarming. They say, "As long as Allah allows it, it's okay, secret or not." They use religion to fulfill their worldly desires. May Allah give these men akhlaq.

    • @shabs2134
      @shabs2134 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      The problem is both men and Islam. Many men have these degenerate desires and Islam gives them permission to act on it. Christianity doesn't have this problem as Jesus Christ said that marriage is only between one man and one woman. Why would you continue to defend a religion which treats you like an object?

    • @Arguvandal
      @Arguvandal ปีที่แล้ว

      One of the reasons to believe Allah was mohammed's invention to satisfy his lust for power and sex. Its all TOO convenient

    • @bethere7862
      @bethere7862 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      like women abusing the concept of mahr, men should defend thier rights

    • @irisdanagher
      @irisdanagher 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Amen!

    • @redpanther9380
      @redpanther9380 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Oh the women will do anything but not accept rights of men remain single sister please don't destroy our lives

  • @hamdij5560
    @hamdij5560 ปีที่แล้ว +126

    Just marry someone who is open minded about polygamy, you can never convince someone who doesn’t want to share her husband to share her husband

    • @ilhanali1645
      @ilhanali1645 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Exactly what I was thinking! Why force someone to accept your beliefs, if you could just find someone that has the same beliefs as you

    • @Beyonder1987
      @Beyonder1987 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Women have a western outlook these days that its extremely rare to find that kind of open minded women

    • @alphauno6614
      @alphauno6614 ปีที่แล้ว

      Would you say that about women’s rights? Should a wife have to make clear that her job is for herself and the money is for her personal use rather than the family? Should a wife have to make clear that it is her right to have children?

    • @erzascarlet5078
      @erzascarlet5078 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Beyonder1987then don’t marry TILL you find a woman who’s “open minded”, kalas.

    • @bunnysnakesin
      @bunnysnakesin 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Beyonder1987it’s not a western standard lmfaooo…… no woman wants to share her husband. Some women become okay with it but that doesn’t mean that’s our nature…cause it’s not at all. Just like men protect, women are PROTECTORS in way a man will never be. And some men don’t understand this. We protect EVERYTHING of ours. Including our men. That’s our nature. Y’all trying to go against a woman’s natural biological ways. If a woman desires this okay. Also the in west, u will find many open minded women with polygamy because we know men are dogs and they are for the streets. This video literally proved that point. At the end they said it’s all about desire….. 🤦🏽‍♀️

  • @sherwood9917
    @sherwood9917 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +51

    It is so disappointing to see that there is really no difference between Muslim men and non-Muslim men. A married man who is comfortable taking on another wife, without even informing his first wife, is not a man of good character.

    • @JH-zs3bs
      @JH-zs3bs 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I guarantee you, nonmuslim men are more respectful than that by faaar.

    • @L-Lawliet14
      @L-Lawliet14 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I assume you arent Muslim.
      Because there is no comparison.
      A muslim is better than a kafir.
      Why?
      Because he worships the only true God.

    • @sherwood9917
      @sherwood9917 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@L-Lawliet14 Sing yourself whatever lullaby helps you sleep.

    • @JH-zs3bs
      @JH-zs3bs 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@L-Lawliet14A Kafir is much better than a Muslim! Why? Because he uses his brain and rejects false religions like Islam.
      And he also doesn't say its okay to marry 6 years old because his prophet did so, nor does he beat his wife saying its ok because his holy book said so.

    • @Naimedclaiming
      @Naimedclaiming 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I can’t believe you just said that
      You see a Muslim man the same as a disbeliever
      You need help then, you could’ve said some not just Muslim men as a whole

  • @MariaPerez-sb1xp
    @MariaPerez-sb1xp 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    MH said:"I'm not gonna follow the religion of women's feelings."
    Is islam not also the religion of children's feelings, when they are affected by their mother's heart ache? How are these men honorable for their own selfish desires, while they cosigned to monogamy at first to even find a wife?

    • @mishmash7776
      @mishmash7776 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      They don’t care about anyone but themselves, if they did they’d think and stop for a second.

    • @shabs2134
      @shabs2134 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Because Islam gives men such rights. If Allah allows Muslim men to indulge in their fetishs (having extra women), then that should tell you that Islam *does not* respect women.

    • @B0ss_Editz
      @B0ss_Editz 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@shabs2134 It's not a fetish, it's a natural desire. Men are polygamous by nature. Why do you think Rich men cheat with multiple women? Why do you think Men had concubines as spoils of war in the past? It's what they want. That's why Allah allowed polygamy for men through marriage. So that they won't be dead beats and will be responsible for their women. Marriage keeps the family unit intact. Keep coping.

    • @shabs2134
      @shabs2134 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@B0ss_Editz Humans are a pair bonding species, most men throughout human history have only ever had *one* wife or no wife at all. You obviously have to defend this sexual degeneracy because this is what your degenerate prophet taught and practiced.
      Some powerful men throughout history have had concubines and sex slaves, that doesn't make it right. Morality is objective, what is wrong today will always be wrong whether in the past or in the future. Enslaving and raping women will always be wrong. It seems you are the one who is coping hard because you're the one trying to defend the indefensible. So I say - *keep coping* 🤙

    • @dame6584
      @dame6584 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@B0ss_Editzso slaves are acceptable? You just want lust? Think about your moral compass and self control.

  • @roosworld4910
    @roosworld4910 ปีที่แล้ว +624

    And to add this discussion about secret wives will make women suspicious, insecure paranoid about their husbands. Nobody wants to be around someone they don't trust. You don't feel emotionally safe.

    • @vtee549
      @vtee549 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Then they should stop being jealous and disrespectful to the permission of God

    • @roosworld4910
      @roosworld4910 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@vtee549 men are the reason for wars lol precisely for this reason. Lack of understanding. Women deserve to feel secure and loved. There are men who do not want more than 1 wife. They don't entertain it because they are content. You may refuse to believe that because that's what you want. What you focus on grows. Just because its allowed in Islam does not mean its suitable for everyone. Like someone here said, your intentions will be judged on the day of judgement so quit vilifying women who don't want it in their life. Choose women who do.

    • @reyhantimmons-cetin6860
      @reyhantimmons-cetin6860 ปีที่แล้ว +113

      @@vtee549 Wow don’t feel a feeling that Allah SWT has put in all of us!
      Women are allowed and are naturally jealous, jealously isn’t always a bad thing! BUT if we allow our jealousy to take over and drive out decisions then yes that could be dangerous!

    • @EeLyos
      @EeLyos ปีที่แล้ว

      @@vtee549 you are absolutely delusional, this person makes a good point and you are being an idiot bringing in “permission” into the occasion just to dismiss someone making a good point. The women could say the same about men, “stop being so horny” problem solved right? Not so easy. Be fair bro.

    • @Freedom_for_Palestina
      @Freedom_for_Palestina ปีที่แล้ว +38

      ​@@vtee549 being jealous is a sin?

  • @MISSYF27
    @MISSYF27 ปีที่แล้ว +519

    To the men who try to convince woman that they should allow their husbands to have second wife's etc. Have any of you approached your mothers to convince her to allow your fathers to bring home another wife?

    • @Locamaniaca
      @Locamaniaca ปีที่แล้ว +9

      ​@@shimmer4771 what do you mean with nature angry or jealous???

    • @generalsaaab
      @generalsaaab ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Would you say that to prophet pbuh

    • @MISSYF27
      @MISSYF27 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @Ayyub Vernon what was your mothers reaction? Did you convince her to let your father bring home a 2nd wife?

    • @lillyg4095
      @lillyg4095 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@generalsaaab you're not a prophet so relax. I bet you can barley please one woman let alone multiple wives

    • @soulz4793
      @soulz4793 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@shimmer4771 "Most of them wouldn't. 😂 The thing is, women being jealous or angry is our nature. We're supposed to be"
      females being insecure, jealous, angry and fragile are not considered to be "nature" it is just their narcissism.

  • @christinelamastra6954
    @christinelamastra6954 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +56

    I think it’s the secrecy that bothers me more than anything. I would want my husband to love and trust me enough to speak to me about anything. A second wife and a secret wife are two very different things in my mind.

    • @shabs2134
      @shabs2134 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      So you're okay with your husband marrying and sleeping with extra women as long as he discusses this beforehand with you? The things that Islam does to women...sad.

    • @idrissrm3297
      @idrissrm3297 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Would you allow it ?

    • @shimmer4771
      @shimmer4771 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@shabs2134 It's not sad. It's to protect society. Many men cheat on their wives simply because one woman wasn't enough. You shouldn't speak on this if you know nothing.

    • @Hahahaha-7
      @Hahahaha-7 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@shabs2134and……. It’s halal and nothing wrong with it even when done with consent from first wife. You marry first then sleep btw-

    • @user-bh7ml9ls6c
      @user-bh7ml9ls6c 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@shabs2134it's men who do it regardless of opinion of the woman she wouldn't want her husband falling into zenith

  • @zuhwraali-maulidi1590
    @zuhwraali-maulidi1590 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    A brother proposed to me, but didn't want to tell his first wife. I reminded him about the offspring being siblings, and that if he passed no one would be able to notify me. Also that if the Mirathi was not done properly he would suffer, so he must tell her or stick with just one.

    • @KH-hc6sy
      @KH-hc6sy 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      The 10 Commandments is VERY clear.
      Always be faithful to your husband and wife.
      Always tell the truth.
      What is the blasphemy on this page?

    • @kephers
      @kephers 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      obviously his 1st wife objected...so should he ask permission from her? That wouldn't make him a man. This is a tough decision by men! They love their wife, but they also love another woman whom they want to take as a wife/concubine. There is no simple answer. But the obvious answer for a wife or woman is, that they must love God and his laws and trust that just because their husband wants another wife, doesn't mean that he loves them any less or differently. In this case who would be able to counsel a wife on this matter? We can thank the Western Christian worlds influence on society for determining in the first place that a man can only have 1 wife! It's influence has permeated the whole world and influenced Islam, Buddaism, Judaism, Hindu, etc...

    • @baya785
      @baya785 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@kephersit’s not about permission it’s just to tell her because no matter what she will end up finding out. And if she finds out 10 years from now when you have multiple children with the other wife I think it will absolutely destroyed her and you children with her. Plus the kids could have been friends if they got the chance to grow up together but you took that away from them and they most likely will not like each other or even hate each other.

    • @chinny_reckon
      @chinny_reckon 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Masha Allah sister - you behaved in a beautiful way, may Allah reward you.

    • @user-bp9jc5fj6t
      @user-bp9jc5fj6t 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      you are going to destroy that woman if you accept the offer, you're stabbing her femininity and ego plzz don't

  • @kayshaa24h
    @kayshaa24h ปีที่แล้ว +195

    What I find concerning about this debate is that basic Islamic principles of kindness compassion and empathy and honesty just don't seem to matter in these people's marriages.....these men know this will hurt their wives but because they're technically allowed it becomes, my desires matter more than my responsibility to be just, kind and compassionate to my original wife. My desires as a man are worth the risk of causing future family problems when I have two sets of families secret from each other. The selfishness here is boundless.

    • @Therebelliousprince001
      @Therebelliousprince001 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Cry about it.
      As our brother Mohammed hijab said, we aren't slaves to your feelings!

    • @kayshaa24h
      @kayshaa24h ปีที่แล้ว +48

      Beautiful demonstration of missing the point and proving it at the same time. Good job.

    • @shimmer4771
      @shimmer4771 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      I dislike the brothers getting defensive about the women's jealousy. That's natural.

    • @Therebelliousprince001
      @Therebelliousprince001 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@shimmer4771 What do you mean?

    • @yacined4882
      @yacined4882 ปีที่แล้ว

      basic Islamic LAWS of ALLAH that has established polygyny are rejected so stop playing religious!!!

  • @omaralameddine5564
    @omaralameddine5564 ปีที่แล้ว +173

    Why should a women be tested with another wife, why can’t the man be tested in controlling his desires???

    • @meriamsaad
      @meriamsaad ปีที่แล้ว +21

      wellah the best comment thank you !

    • @itsmichaelakin5421
      @itsmichaelakin5421 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Because your religion says so. Meanwhile Jesus calls polygamy a sin and calls a husband to love his wife as he loved the church and sacrificed himself for her. Polygamy is adultery. Trust in Jesus, he loves you and died on the cross as a sacrifice for your sins. If you trust him he will raise you up on the last day and you will spend eternity with him. May God guide you to Jesus.

    • @Blakky-vm7ng
      @Blakky-vm7ng 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@itsmichaelakin5421shut up

    • @MAbs-ny7xi
      @MAbs-ny7xi 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@itsmichaelakin5421 can a Christian woman divorce her violent Christian husband?

    • @TheVisualante
      @TheVisualante 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@itsmichaelakin5421right…that’s why Jesus said he came to confirm the law that came before him, and the law that came before him in your own Bible shows the prophets of God all being polygamous but you pick and choose what you follow in your religion. Pork btw is also banned in your Bible just a fyi. May God guide you to the actual teachings of Christ who said “why do you call me good, only God is good”.

  • @architecttvibe5467
    @architecttvibe5467 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +88

    The 4 wife permission was actually a limit as much as I have learned. Because before that, man could have as many women as they wanted. In times of war, it made sense to have multiple wifes because of lack of man and widowed women. It also made sense to have multiple wifes for leaders and such from other nations, tribes etc to establish peace between the two nations etc. but its adviced, suggested to have one wife. Also because having multiple wifes is extremely hard, not just financially but also in means of equal treatment of each wife is very hard. In the future if there are such cases of war or relative reasons go for it maybe. But it is crucial to be fair amongs them 😊. May Allah guide us all and increase our wisdom and understanding.

    • @22Szz
      @22Szz 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Well explained ❤

    • @komolhuq8752
      @komolhuq8752 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      These are mostly excuses paving the way for normalizing a 1 wife society like the west. A women is better provided for being the 2nd wife of a good Muslim and strong provider than the only wife of a left over man. Women are hypergamous. It is not only for war and no where is that specified. "Musy treat them fairly" is also true of 1 wife and yet we do not constantly cite it as a deterent to the first marriage. Muslims around the world are deeply engaged in Zina which is haram 100% and yet Muslims create barriers and discourage a part of marriage polygyny that is totally halal and fairness would only be known by those in yhe marriage, no outsider could even have such knowledge.
      Those who have made marriage harder, have made Zina easier. And we see the results both in the west and the foolish Muslims who follow them.

    • @shelkhatun4837
      @shelkhatun4837 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes absolutely right, and people misuse this for the lust, distressing the first wife causing havic at home too desperate to have a second wife evn 3rd getting mad with their own children because they are desperate to fulfil their lust amd feed their sex desperation idiotic men, i repeat idiotic stupid low life of a half a man who has no self control no decipline, thinks about a secomd wife or even 3/4th. With no care in the world that he is destroying his peaceful life, messing up his wifes mental state, messing around with her head, and how that has an adverse effect on the children too. Pathetic and selfish idiotic lusty men. END OF. BUNCH OR IDIOTS AND LOWLIFES

    • @rpgixhdh8045
      @rpgixhdh8045 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Bro no. Just no. If you see pretty gyal and you want her you can Talk her you don’t have search a reason I want to Make world peace with my marriage like you crippin tho? Beautiness and fear of zina is reason enough as a men to Marry another one.

    • @KH-hc6sy
      @KH-hc6sy 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@rpgixhdh8045 you will never make your wives happy. Unless they all equally agree and accept. Even the God told the prophet he will NEVER be able to deal with them equally. The prophets heart cried out to Allah about this.

  • @tlilaboty
    @tlilaboty 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

    Don't tell ur wife about ur 2nd wife, so the children of the 2 wives can end up marrying each other (marrying siblings). Yes, that had happened more than once!

    • @Biekoe
      @Biekoe 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      They cant, bcs in islam you need to approach the father of the girl to marry. So the father will always know😂😂😂

    • @fidemingenium5906
      @fidemingenium5906 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      ​@@Biekoewhat if he died, what if he divorced the second wife and didn't have contact with his kids... If lying is allowed and he only married in mosque, no papers and he used different name liying to the second wife... It could happen . Some have second wifes in different countries, what if one of the kids migrate and end up marrying

    • @Biekoe
      @Biekoe 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@fidemingenium5906 well that why i always think a man shouldnt hide it. He should be a man and tell his first wife honestly about his second wife. I wouldn’t hide it either if i would ever even marry a second wife

  • @aikaadmi193
    @aikaadmi193 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    The whole point of the walima is to announce the marriage and not keep it secret

  • @faysalals1
    @faysalals1 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    Ali asked one of the guys if he would get a second wife, he said no. He did not like the answer, so he accuses him of lying, and says a lie detective test will change your answer to yes lol then he goes on a rant and answers on behalf of the other guy

    • @shimmer4771
      @shimmer4771 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Ali Dawah needs to address polygamy properly. I didn't even watch the video. If he doesn't handle it the right way, he may turn sisters away from marriage. Js.

  • @sanamo86
    @sanamo86 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    In this cost of living crisis, you want to take financial responsibility of a second wife...good luck bro

  • @_nafisa_
    @_nafisa_ 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +37

    Allah created Adam and Eve, if it were so dire for a man to have more than one wife, He would have made two women. It is a capability of man to have more than one wife, NOT a neccessity. Big difference.

    • @imadgc6785
      @imadgc6785 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Why are men allowedto be polygamous then ?

    • @Adam-bc2ov
      @Adam-bc2ov 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Maybe because eve was always avaible for Adam (as) and they were always together and BTW Adam(as) cant marry his own children. stop saying nonsense

  • @forestsprite30
    @forestsprite30 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    The thing is, if you get married in secret, then by definition, you'd have to lie to the first wife. Where will you say you are going for half the week? Why do you suddenly have half the money you had available? What if your second wife dies? How will you explain why you now have custody of these children? Lying in these circumstances is not permissible in Islam. So how would you navigate these situations?

    • @serbaserbi38
      @serbaserbi38 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Lie after lie ...

    • @Amynity
      @Amynity 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      those lies usually don't last long.

    • @026_arhmarehman8
      @026_arhmarehman8 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      and they are justifying lying.

  • @k-popislife5559
    @k-popislife5559 ปีที่แล้ว +825

    The more I see these conversations the more I turn away from marriage and pray for a spouse in Jannah instead. May Allah help us all especially those who are married.

    • @OnePunchMuslim
      @OnePunchMuslim ปีที่แล้ว

      Are you female. Lol. Cos your spouse in heaven would have 2 wives minimum. Sooooo 🤷🏻‍♂️

    • @reyhantimmons-cetin6860
      @reyhantimmons-cetin6860 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      But by the same token we won’t feel jealous, envious or hurt in Jannah by the will of Allah SWT.

    • @HabiburRahman-zo5ot
      @HabiburRahman-zo5ot ปีที่แล้ว +192

      Sad times. I don't even understand why this is even a discussion. Times have changed, it's very difficult to maintain even one marriage nowadays let alone multiple. If you can then good for you but almost every guy I know is fine with just one wife.

    • @moonwalkerr87
      @moonwalkerr87 ปีที่แล้ว +107

      @@HabiburRahman-zo5ot What is sad is that we live in a time where zina is widespread everywhere. THAT IS SAD. What is also sad is that Muslims going against what is halal and speaking negative about it. THAT IS SAD.
      The solution for fighting zina is marriage! Ecourage halal, don’t criticize what is halal. Rather speak against evil.

    • @EeLyos
      @EeLyos ปีที่แล้ว +15

      This is a test from Allah SWT because Zina is a horrible fitna this Ummah has to deal with.

  • @FrealafHildin
    @FrealafHildin หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    As a new Muslim who used to be in polyam relationships before I converted, I'd say there's no question deceiving your wife and marrying another without her knowledge is simply not conductive to a healthy loving relationship regardless if it's allowed or not. I'd also say from my experience many people (men and women) are simply not equipped to be just, fair and equally emotionally present in poly relationships (that in no way means there aren't people who can't have fair, honest and loving poly marriages tho).
    With that being said, there needs to be an open conversation and we should acknowledge most men would jump at a chance to not be limited by a monogamous marriage and should not be demonized for it. Expecting one's partner to feel unfulfilled in a mono relationship and suppressing their nature only for one's own benefit is also hardly love.

  • @nilox2823
    @nilox2823 ปีที่แล้ว +95

    I have to say that this perception we have of men being evil horndogs or women being manipulative or emotionally insecure is ridiculous in real life. It is never that simple.
    Being in a wonderful marriage myself, I understand that most men want an emotionally and physically satisfying marriage just as much as women do, and they’re perfectly happy to have one partner in a mutually loving relationship so long as it’s just that: a mutually loving relationship. If two people have fulfilling each other’s needs and wants and just love one another deeply and complete one another where the other falls short, it’s very rare to see this sort of dilemma occur.
    Hawa completed this for Adam - Allah didn’t create a hundred wives for Adam to populate the earth or exercise his human desire, rather he created a loving comfort of a spouse for him to find repose in. When such an emotional and mental gap is fulfilled, one finds satisfaction and contentment in the spouse they have.
    Islam recognizes that not all marriages work like this. Islam recognizes that we come from various cultures where the concept of loveless and emotionally void marriages are commonplace. Islam recognizes that some marriages are political, or some spouses are just fine being emotionally unconnected and share a family. Islam recognizes that for some men, their upbringing and past experiences can create a desire for infidelity and no satisfaction in just one spouse. Had they been kafir, they would have been chronic cheaters. Islam recognizes this diversity in environment and culture and offers a legal limitation to men, but it also offers us a glimpse into the love lives of our Prophets and the men of the Quran and Sunnah, and gives us the opportunity to choose our stories for ourselves.

    • @Btraain
      @Btraain ปีที่แล้ว +3

      A man can be in a fulfilling relationship and still want more wives. Does it mean he is an evil hell dog? No. All you have summarized and mentioned is correct and beautifuly stated. But let's not undermine the fact that men have these desires and they are perfectly normal. The key here is to control our desires by lowering our gaze and fulfill our desires in a halal manner with our spouse.
      Sometimes though, the desire can't be matched by the wife, which can lead to a void and at some point maybe even to divorce.
      There are enough muslim men who fear Allah and fulfill their obligations towards there women, loving and caring for them and still find themselves with the desire unmet and therefore frustrated.
      Those men are villified for the exact reason that women just can't understand why someone that is emotionally satisfied with their women and have intercourse regularly can't be fully satisfied with just that.
      It's hard to explain, but still it is a reality hitting many men.
      I hope that the discussion turns away from villifying something that is halal to understanding the good men, the men with taqwa and not villify them for what is natural.

    • @shimmer4771
      @shimmer4771 ปีที่แล้ว

      If anyone attacks men, for polygamy, they are simply going off emotions. Try to understand both sides. That's how you do it.

    • @nilox2823
      @nilox2823 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@Btraain Polyamory is purely a cultural and personality-based behavior, and not entirely biologically as we believe it to be, and like I said, Islam recognizes that and gives way to fulfill that in a halal manner.
      But I have yet to find an example of a deeply emotionally connected couple with great intimacy where the man is still sexually unfulfilled. And maybe what you are talking about is not love. When you love someone, truly and sincerely, you would never do anything to hurt them. And like it or not, polygamy hurts women. Perhaps not all women, but many women, and everyone knows that. Let’s not play dumb. It will change your marriage forever and perhaps never be the same again, so the “love” you started out with wither into something like a transactional survival marriage or eventually break up.
      When my husband passes away, I likely won’t remarry, even though its 100% my right to Islamically. Why? Because I love and adore him, even when he’s gone, and because I know that he wouldn’t want me to, even though I can.
      My sex drive is higher than my husband’s, slightly, maybe because I’m younger. I have a right to divorce him based on my desire not being constantly met. Absolutely. But will I do it? No. Why? Because I love him. And it’s not big enough a deal for me to hurt him. It’s dunya, it’s temporary.
      Love changes everything. And marriage, a good marriage, is a compromise. So we should use the word “love” sparingly in this conversation.
      And I would need more than one example to really believe that is the case. Merely stating it as fact without evidence is not sufficient, and the As’hab were reverts with a very different culture and background, so it was a totally different experience for them. But the examples of many Prophets who had one partner, as well our first, Adam (as), is an example of the fact it is entirely possible to be satisfied and happy with one spouse. It simply depends on you - who you are, where you come from, your past, your preferences, your personality.
      And that’s why when getting married it is essential to consider all of those aspects for a mutually fulfilling marriage.

    • @JewelsRoyale
      @JewelsRoyale 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      👏 👏 👏 👏
      Adam & Hawa
      Prophet Muhammad ﷺ & Khadija
      Prophet Zakariya & his wife
      & Even Ibrahim ‏عليه السلام & his first wife (He only married Hagar because Sarah didn’t have any kids until that time).
      All of those were happy successful marriages. Look at the beautiful story of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and Khadija. Look at what Allah says about Zakariya ‏ ‏عليه السلامand his wife.

    • @KD400_
      @KD400_ 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@nilox2823 no I don't believe that about ur sex drive lol. Men still have a higher sex drive

  • @workoffice5703
    @workoffice5703 ปีที่แล้ว +120

    Part 2 should include guests who are involved or have been involved in these types of situations. Would be very helpful to get insight from first hand experience

    • @jewelweed6880
      @jewelweed6880 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Yes! Without speaking to them, this topic feels like the discussion is just to rile people up for views. Conflict is good for that.

    • @ishmammuhammad2989
      @ishmammuhammad2989 ปีที่แล้ว

      e.g Mahdi Tidjani

    • @NiceGuy88
      @NiceGuy88 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@ishmammuhammad2989 Red pill guy found in the comments section😅🤣🤣🤣.

    • @benafz
      @benafz ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ​@@NiceGuy88 Idiot found, who cant comprehend nuances, and who puts everybody into certain boxes, based on his assumptions,

    • @rambovercetti8079
      @rambovercetti8079 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@NiceGuy88 I mean it’s true tho he had 3 wives at one point he should have been on this podcast 😊

  • @ummsalihah0
    @ummsalihah0 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Why does he not accept any man saying he don't want another wife 😂

    • @yazuka2023
      @yazuka2023 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      exactly he thinks polygamy is fard its only permissable not all men want a second wife they are free let them be

    • @shimmer4771
      @shimmer4771 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It's permitted to take a second wife. Not sure why Ali has an issue with a brother only taking 1. 🤨

    • @lawunmibalogun2971
      @lawunmibalogun2971 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Projection
      Needs a shield to justify glutinous lustful desires. With our consequence. It’s politics guised as “supernatural law”

    • @Itzvnessa.
      @Itzvnessa. 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@lawunmibalogun2971 Funny how a man’s natural jealousy is always right and catered for but a woman’s natural jealousy of her husband bringing another woman into the marriage is wrong, evil and too emotional. No one seems to admit that men needing to have multiple women they rotate around constitutes to having a lust problem and that covering that up by getting multiple women and calling it “marriage’s” will not fix your lust problem. The bible says to deny your flesh and follow the Lord but in Islam it seems that your flesh and human desires should be honoured 🤷🏾‍♀️. We can all see how having multiple women wrecks marriages and affects children aswell as the family unit but it’s all ok as long as the man is sexually satisfied because a man’s sexual satisfaction is put above all else apparently.

  • @Dada-hg3mr
    @Dada-hg3mr 11 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Now I understand why so many highly educated muslim woman are not married.

  • @meccathecowifecoach
    @meccathecowifecoach 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    MashaAllah wal Humdulillah! Thank you for having this conversation that is necessary to have within our communities

  • @TrendChaser2050
    @TrendChaser2050 ปีที่แล้ว +256

    The problem with marrying other women secretly is that if a scenario arises where the father passes away without telling the wives and children about the others, there is a chance that some of them may get married to eachother without knowing that the other is a half sibling. Wouldn’t that be a problem?

    • @husnainshahzad2165
      @husnainshahzad2165 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      clearly u havent watched. this was mentioned...

    • @moonwalkerr87
      @moonwalkerr87 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      They should have same last name. And naturally ask «Who is your father?» or «Are we related?»

    • @husnainshahzad2165
      @husnainshahzad2165 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@moonwalkerr87 100%. people find out they are from the same caste ( talking about my ethnicity ) just because of a surename and find out their grandparents/ great grandparents were cousin... if they can find this out so easily after speaking two times... surely they will know if theyre step siblings soon enough

    • @alia-wm8ug
      @alia-wm8ug ปีที่แล้ว +17

      A big secret like a second marriage won't stay secret longer than the second wife having a baby

    • @roosworld4910
      @roosworld4910 ปีที่แล้ว

      So many people who are unrelated have the same last name. Lying, creates fitna. Avoid lying. Be honest to people you love. The basics have become a luxury to have in today's world. A father who lies raises children who thinks it's ok to lie. You build a community with a lot of sickness in it. Don't lie.

  • @nmk19
    @nmk19 ปีที่แล้ว +200

    Salaam alaikum. I love that we have young men and women discussing the issues here. But I wish there was an elderly scholarly moderator in the presence who is patient in listening and wiser in responding.
    I felt that a lot of times our brothers and sisters are quick to wanting to respond with loaded arguments.
    Still a very useful discussion, jazakAllah Khair.

    • @nicole1nct
      @nicole1nct ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yeah, we need a sheykh or mufti

    • @WASABINIQABII
      @WASABINIQABII ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Exactly

    • @WASABINIQABII
      @WASABINIQABII ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Very disturbing content

    • @emmaschmidt4774
      @emmaschmidt4774 ปีที่แล้ว

      Son of God does not mean that God has a child in Christianity!
      *what a mistake in the Qur'an!*
      Son of God is a title referring to the Word of God!

    • @emmaschmidt4774
      @emmaschmidt4774 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hebr 1,2 Hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, *by whom also he made the worlds;*
      as everyone can see the term Son of God refers to the Word of God = god himself! For through that God created the worlds! *what a mistake in the Qur'an!*

  • @user-bf7ok5cr9p
    @user-bf7ok5cr9p ปีที่แล้ว

    The efficiency of this *usespy online is next level.* To juggle walk throughs of various angles on devices delivered to-camera, differnet content per app from various folks underneath the umbrella of the track list of the larger big band concert itself is engaging and refined access. To make a dense non tracable like this so digestible is really something. Awesome work !!!

  • @meowz.111
    @meowz.111 9 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Thanks for showing me how Islam really is ❤️ Started my slow apostacy after this was released

  • @mahpeyker6794
    @mahpeyker6794 ปีที่แล้ว +116

    The only reason why these young men want a second wife is because of their sexual desires, not the charity. Each of our Prophet's (pbuh) marriages had a purpose and they were not for sexual purposes. The Qur'an also states that one wife is better. Allah says in the Quran, "And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so].” (Surah An-Nisa, Ayat 129) Nevertheless, if these men want to satisfy their worldly desires by risking their hereafter, they can do so.

    • @shabs2134
      @shabs2134 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Most of Muhammad's marriages were for sex. To claim otherwise is laughable (Bukhari 5215).

    • @user-li6ql7gj3l
      @user-li6ql7gj3l 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      factsssss

    • @user-yh3pn1he2w
      @user-yh3pn1he2w 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Don't worry that's the reason we got hoor ul ayn The beautiful creation of Allah

    • @QashMaz
      @QashMaz 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      I think you forget, the main purpose of marriage is to protect the private parts. So what if they want to get married for sexual desire. If the desire is not fulfilled with one then if he is able to, then it is actually advised to marry again.

    • @QashMaz
      @QashMaz 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      The Qur'an also makes no such statement that "one wife is better". What nonsense. If anything, the Qur'an encourages polygyny as Allah mentioned the man to marry in 2s' 3s and 4s FIRST, and ONLY if he is unable to be just should he settle for one.
      The verse you quoted clearly refers to a man not being able to be equal in "feelings", he is not held accountable for feeling more for one than the other. He is only held accountable for being just in TREATMENT.
      There is a hadith where the Prophet said, calling out to Allah: I have distributed the war booty equally to all my wives, so do not hold me accountable for what is in my heart.
      (General translation)
      So having a favourite doesn't matter, treating them all fairly is what matters.

  • @fatimalolochoyeva8064
    @fatimalolochoyeva8064 ปีที่แล้ว +106

    I can't help but notice that Ali just doesn't allow anyone contradicting his opinion. Even if the man in the middle clearly said : NO I would NOT get a second wife, even if she was okay with it, he goes on to say 'we have to be brutally honest'. Well, maybe he's being brutally honest and that's the end of your argument

    • @hanzo7616
      @hanzo7616 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Well to be fair the guy was lying. They digged deeper into that question and the guy agreed men are polygynous by nature including himself.

    • @93boxing81
      @93boxing81 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ali allowed these women to contradict his opinion and even gave a sister a pass for standing a man on camera and called him a liar while he wasnt there.

    • @user-ym6we4bx7k
      @user-ym6we4bx7k ปีที่แล้ว +7

      He did that, because if you noticed, the brother's wife kept warning him before he started speaking.
      So how can we know if he was being honest, or he was being careful of what he was saying, as she told him to?

    • @sumatrakitchen
      @sumatrakitchen ปีที่แล้ว

      He is not unwise host..

    • @yosephyermaiah2148
      @yosephyermaiah2148 ปีที่แล้ว

      False religion, come out of it guys. Just lies and deception.

  • @javidgt8
    @javidgt8 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    Adding the "completely equally and fulfilling all responsibilities equally to all wives" to the topic of polygamy is unbelievably important and also constantly left out. Many men do not understand how difficult this task is. If you cannot do this, which most men would not be able to do so 100% without error, it becomes haram. Do not forget that. Personally as a man in my late 20s who still isnt married, I dont see it being possible for me unless, InshaAllah, Allah makes me super successful and rich in life. To take care of myself and one wife in this economy alone is difficult, hence why I am still not married. Add a child to that, its exponentially more difficult. My ego and pride are not so big and filled with delusion that I would think, "Yes I can easily take care of 2 wives and multiple children without bias or 100% equity". Also I agree with the brother who is on there with his wife, it dont feel the need to have a second wife. That goes to a different topic, you must choose your wife very carefully. If you do, there should be no deficiency in the relationship in which you would then need to seek another, unless you simply have very active hormones, to which Allah knows best and has created us all differently, so I will not judge you. But the average person should strive to find a woman they can be completely content with, and women should strive to satisfy their husbands so they do not feel the need for another woman.

    • @javidgt8
      @javidgt8 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@shimmer4771 I didn't mention love at any point. Also, someone thinking they can do something that clearly isn't feasible isn't them having inflated ego or being delusional? At best I'd call that very overconfident, which is an understatement when talking about taking on 2 or more wives and treating them equally.
      I'm not saying people who can do it are egotistical or delusional, I'm referring to myself(if I thought I could pull it off successfully as I am now) and/or men who do try it but don't do it correctly.

  • @alvirarahman2690
    @alvirarahman2690 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Just answer this, why keep it a secret? Every wife has the right to know. It’s not even permission. Man doesn’t need permission. But why HIDE? In my experience, u only hide things u r ashamed/guilty of.

    • @TheIgnorantJahil
      @TheIgnorantJahil 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Verse/hadith please.

    • @alvirarahman2690
      @alvirarahman2690 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@TheIgnorantJahil verse or hadith regarding what?

    • @TheIgnorantJahil
      @TheIgnorantJahil 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@alvirarahman2690 about the wife's right to know. Do you have any text to back your statement?

    • @V_e_n_u_s2
      @V_e_n_u_s2 10 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      There is no hadith or any other Islamic text which says that the wife must know. All scholars unanimously agree that it is up to the man on whether he wants to keep another wife, even if the first wife doesn't know about it. He is divinely legislated to lie to his first wife about having a second wife.
      For you, as a Muslim woman, I know that you might not be able to comprehend it, but this is the reality. With that said, I understand that you still try to defend this cult because you are aware of the consequences of apostasy.
      A lot of Muslims (i.e., yourself) can understand what Islam teaches, but deliberately choose to not understand what it teaches. They know that the risks of them leaving Islam -- such as social ostracism, cultural ostracism, the apostasy punishment, shunning, marriage dissolving, losing custody over your children, losing your job, becoming homeless, etc. -- are far too difficult for them to handle. It is too much stress on their heads, especially for the women; to boot, they are threatened with Jahannam if they actively doubt Islam. Therefore, they resort to the easiest option available -- irrationally attempting to justify Islam.
      Sister in humanity, if you know what is best for you, then it is better for you to leave Islam, just like I and many others have done. With this open talk on polygamy and lying to your wives about having other wives, do you really think this could possibly be a true religion from God himself? Your Allah thinks men are natural pigs who cannot control themselves.
      Be honest with yourself and leave this cult for your own good.​@@alvirarahman2690

  • @kayshaa24h
    @kayshaa24h ปีที่แล้ว +82

    The summary of the debate: emotions and feelings are fine as long as it's the men's
    Their desire for intimacy with a second wife
    Their fear of how their wives will react.
    Desire and fear are still emotions and feelings.

    • @shimmer4771
      @shimmer4771 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I think it's just normal to be jealous. One sister told me she wasn't jealous of him taking a second wife, which is what shocked me. It would be hard.

    • @chasna4546
      @chasna4546 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@shimmer4771
      Jealousy comes from love. Of knowing your partner will be intimate and in love with someone else, while he forgets about your love in those moments.
      Women who are OK with this don't love their husbands and have other things they focus on. Same with women who married a man they didn't love from the start. They would rather have him away from them as long as possible. Even find him other wives themselves to not have to deal with him for too long.

    • @shimmer4771
      @shimmer4771 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@chasna4546 I agree. I just wish the brothers would understand where our jealousy comes from and why we feel this way.

    • @Therebelliousprince001
      @Therebelliousprince001 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@shimmer4771 Some of us brothers do though...

    • @shimmer4771
      @shimmer4771 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@Therebelliousprince001 I would not like it if he enjoyed my jealousy. Remember: we shouldn't pit each other against one another.

  • @TheMariamMJ
    @TheMariamMJ ปีที่แล้ว +59

    ali is very good at limiting the womens speaking time but not the men’s.. :/

    • @CD-123
      @CD-123 ปีที่แล้ว

      Women have half brains ......that's why

    • @CD-123
      @CD-123 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Sahih al-Bukhari 2658
      Narrated Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri:
      The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Isn't the witness of a woman equal to half of that of a man?" The women said, "Yes." He said, "This is because of the deficiency of a woman's mind."

    • @maywewonder
      @maywewonder 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      ​@@CD-123this talks about their ability to recall from memory what they witnessed. It does not mean that what they have to say on other matters is equal half of what a man has to say. Intellectual discussions are for both men and women.

    • @CD-123
      @CD-123 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@maywewonder are you a ba$tard?

    • @Jubajourney
      @Jubajourney 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Because each time the girls came in based off ego the guys have to rebuttal with Quran 😅

  • @nalley682
    @nalley682 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    It’s men like this that make me question Islam sometimes..why do they not read the full ayah? What about the orphans that god mentions they should take second wives for? It’s literally the same verse, why do they read the second part only??

    • @kinglaw1882
      @kinglaw1882 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Because the first part has nothing to do with condition to marry more, ALLAH said if you fear to be unjust with orphans, To marry others women than them, 2 or 3 or 4 that is the limit. Because men's back days wanted orphans withlut be just in mehr, or their wealth, read the tafseer

    • @HA67823
      @HA67823 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      God says يتامى which inlcudes males and females if He meant to fear not being just with female orphans He would have said female orphans

  • @hxjkl
    @hxjkl 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    Polygamy in Islam isn't permitted over lust or desire, in fact, what Islam did about this issue is put a limit to the number of women a man can marry. If there is not material need for it, then do not do it, don't even think about doing it behind your wife's back, its a huge disrespect towards her. Islam obviously discourages polygamy. If you do not care about your wife's feelings, why should she care about your desires???

    • @JH-zs3bs
      @JH-zs3bs 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Because if she doesn't, Angles will curse her all night, a wife in islam owes her husband her body, she will go to hell if she refuses. Read sahih bukhari you will see.

    • @kinglaw1882
      @kinglaw1882 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Marriage is for lust and desire, get married mean that you want to stay with a woman in pleasure in the way that ALLAH give you

    • @nami20622
      @nami20622 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@kinglaw1882 Thats wrong otherwise the prophet wouldn't have married 8 wives who were all widows and divorcees! A man usually doesn't lust over divorcees so you are lying against the prophet!

    • @Maha_The_Army
      @Maha_The_Army 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@JH-zs3bs same goes for the man lol if he doesnt fulfill her and breaks her and hurts her hes cursed by angels too i guess u haven't read the full hadith

    • @JH-zs3bs
      @JH-zs3bs 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Maha_The_Army Feel free to post it.

  • @khadijamus5611
    @khadijamus5611 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    the audacity of Ali Dawah putting the word hashtag "sidechick" under the video 🤮

  • @ribenariri7764
    @ribenariri7764 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    PART 2 DEFS NEEDED... SOOOOOO MUCH TO UNPACK IN THIS TOPIC, GOOD JOB TO THE PANELIST 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

  • @Salsal-yd9ew
    @Salsal-yd9ew หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    As a woman, I would never take offence if my spouse asked me to place my family above my emotions when I get "hormonal". Ali sounds somewhat uneducated in this matter and he's trying to equate female needs to male animalistic nature. Having multiple wives is not something that's recommended, so stop trying to popularize it.

  • @yasmeen3012
    @yasmeen3012 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    This is ridiculous.. absolutely sickening!!

  • @nindao3121
    @nindao3121 ปีที่แล้ว +176

    If having a secret marriage is justifiable, I don’t know what to say.. we need to respect the wife too, let her know and give her the choice to leave or stay. Anyone needs to hear the truth, because truth will come sooner or later

    • @999legend8
      @999legend8 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      A secret marriage is justifiable. If you listened properly, you would have known. If you don't want to accept the truth, there's nothing wrong with the truth, it's a problem with yourself.

    • @abdulmalik-sm5uf
      @abdulmalik-sm5uf ปีที่แล้ว +22

      ​@@999legend8 then what abt this hadth of ibn majah 1896
      It was narrated from Muhammad bin Hatib that the Messenger of Allah said:
      “What differentiates between the lawful and the unlawful is the Daff and raising the voices at the time of marriage

    • @desertrat2320
      @desertrat2320 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I now advocate women own guns, and have secret husbands. That if one turns violent, we’ll then.

    • @drakness1520
      @drakness1520 ปีที่แล้ว

      A lot of Wives will demand divorce and take the children and the family will be destroyed and the kids life will shatter into pieces with broken homes, Even If the man or the woman get married it's not guaranteed that the new wife/Husband are willing to take care of the children so a lot of the time it's better to keep it a secret from the wife because she can't control her emotions and will act up radically and will regret her decision.

    • @mensahkwaku6506
      @mensahkwaku6506 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It says lying is allowed 😅
      So Allah expected you to lie to her

  • @2ummis
    @2ummis ปีที่แล้ว +385

    We also need to talk about the stories of 2nd wives being used, abused and discarded, especially revert sisters. May Allah swt keep us on the straight path. 2nd wives are not an outlet, they are WIVES as well to be provided for and protected. Brothers need to focus on the reality of plural marriage and the actually responsibilities and consequences. Sisters need to understand that him taking a second wife does not mean you are any less. May Allah swt make it easy for all the marriages. Ameen.

    • @AliDawah
      @AliDawah  ปีที่แล้ว +113

      We discuss this issue on future episodes, it’s a real problem.

    • @shahidabdoullakhanzorovr1564
      @shahidabdoullakhanzorovr1564 ปีที่แล้ว

      Some of these revert sisters have an Arab/Paki "Prince Ali Ababwa" fetish, and aren't prepared for their new in-laws basically turning into the mafia once the marriage happens. Sad stuff.

    • @micro-uhgresh-uhnn
      @micro-uhgresh-uhnn ปีที่แล้ว +47

      I have seen this type of abuse towards revert sisters an embarrassing number of times. Sisters flock to Islam and the light of this deen and lose all good judgment when dealing with sometimes selfish and self serving guys with zero intention to do right and uphold her rights. They abuse the fact that she is often ignorant to what he is responsible for by Allah’s guidance. It’s not right.

    • @micro-uhgresh-uhnn
      @micro-uhgresh-uhnn ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@mimo4856 Sister, you sound extremely jaded and it takes a blackened heart to say such things. Why would anyone wish harm or hurt upon a fellow sister in Islam? It was the husband that made the decision. This kind of attitude is toxic and un-Islamic. Allah is the most just. If a woman is unable to maintain herself spiritually under such circumstances, she can divorce. But if she is content and he is living up to his duties and/or children are involved she should definitely consider her children and the difficulties of single parenthood. Single parenthood is bad for children and society. Anas ibn Malik reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “None of you will have faith until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.”
      Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 13, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 45

    • @bogumilaskowron2680
      @bogumilaskowron2680 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Why this second wife came between husband and wife?

  • @Ani_0922
    @Ani_0922 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    I rather be single or un alive, then be pressured by a man who picks and chooses (conveniently) his “rights” in religion, and marries another women. Especially in secrecy.

    • @yourdaddy3571
      @yourdaddy3571 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Then stay at your dads home then, we don’t care! You will have competition, get used to it Cinderella!

    • @Ani_0922
      @Ani_0922 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@yourdaddy3571 LOL I’m married, have children, 1 on the way, we own a business together and I don’t need my “daddy”, as you say. I have fully adapted to my husband’s family. Sorry, your wife couldn’t do the same with you. 😂 Be careful what you say.

    • @Ani_0922
      @Ani_0922 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@yourdaddy3571 Additionally, I don’t have competition. I’ll not compete - at all. If I ever felt the sense to compete - game over. My husband nor I would be in the positions we are if it wasn’t for one another’s support and actions together. Stay blinded by appearance only, I have that as well. My husband scored, as so did I.

    • @yourdaddy3571
      @yourdaddy3571 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Ani_0922 you mean wives 😂😂 See, as you relegated your husband, no one can relegate me! I’m a strong personality type sweetie, you’ll be doing dishes all day if you tired horsing around at my house! 😂🤣

    • @yourdaddy3571
      @yourdaddy3571 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Ani_0922 scored?! If zero was the goal then I’m sure he did 😂 you have a obedient husband, and nothing wrong with that, poor guy!

  • @Salsal-yd9ew
    @Salsal-yd9ew หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Funny how "there are no sects in Islam," but these people openly say "I'm Maliki," "I'm Hanbali". Sound so lost

    • @TheIgnorantJahil
      @TheIgnorantJahil 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Madhab isnt the same as a sect. Era of ignorance. A lot of speaking but little reading.

  • @Muminka82
    @Muminka82 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    This is so disturbing. No wonder why our ummah is the way it is.

    • @shabs2134
      @shabs2134 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This is the reality of Islam. Polygamy and other such degeneracy is forbidden in Christianity.

    • @Itzvnessa.
      @Itzvnessa. 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@shabs2134 Funny how a man’s natural jealousy is always right and catered for but a woman’s natural jealousy of her husband bringing another woman into the marriage is wrong, evil and too emotional. No one seems to admit that men needing to have multiple women they rotate around constitutes to having a lust problem and that covering that up by getting multiple women and calling it “marriage’s” will not fix your lust problem. The bible says to deny your flesh and follow the Lord but in Islam it seems that your flesh and human desires should be honoured 🤷🏾‍♀️. We can all see how having multiple women wrecks marriages and affects children aswell as the family unit but it’s all ok as long as the man is sexually satisfied because a man’s sexual satisfaction is put above all else apparently.

    • @Itzvnessa.
      @Itzvnessa. 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Funny how a man’s natural jealousy is always right and catered for but a woman’s natural jealousy of her husband bringing another woman into the marriage is wrong, evil and too emotional. No one seems to admit that men needing to have multiple women they rotate around constitutes to having a lust problem and that covering that up by getting multiple women and calling it “marriage’s” will not fix your lust problem. The bible says to deny your flesh and follow the Lord but in Islam it seems that your flesh and human desires should be honoured 🤷🏾‍♀️. We can all see how having multiple women wrecks marriages and affects children aswell as the family unit but it’s all ok as long as the man is sexually satisfied because a man’s sexual satisfaction is put above all else apparently.

  • @asadhussain4509
    @asadhussain4509 ปีที่แล้ว +180

    MH needs to be on every show.

    • @bogumilaskowron2680
      @bogumilaskowron2680 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Is he scholar?

    • @SupermanOG
      @SupermanOG ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Agreed. The only one who objectively and sensibly gives responses based on Quran and Sunnah rather than personal opinion or feelings.

    • @adamk6292
      @adamk6292 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@bogumilaskowron2680 So only a scholar should come on? How many scholars are available (or even willing) to come on to these shows?

    • @muhammadislam4640
      @muhammadislam4640 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@bogumilaskowron2680 by your logic none of these guests should be on the show as none of them are scholars... Hijab was the only one to cite his sources and base everything on Quran and Sunnah

    • @bogumilaskowron2680
      @bogumilaskowron2680 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@muhammadislam4640 is in Quran written lie to your wife and take secretly second wife ?

  • @Soufeasttee
    @Soufeasttee ปีที่แล้ว +2

    We definitely need a part 2

  • @sharxxnaushxr
    @sharxxnaushxr 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I am a secret second wife. The repercussions of my husband’s wife and family finding out will be catastrophic. My husband saw that there were men in the Muslim community who were taking advantage of me because I am a revert. He did everything including having us meet with the sheikh to ask questions and to ensure we were doing the right thing. Do I like sharing my husband - no but do I accept it - yes. I have a halal relationship with a God fearing Muslim who prays fard and practices sunnah and helps me grow closer to الله and he benefits in his own relationship with الله because my need to learn helps him increase his knowledge. If we are not getting closer to الله then our marriage is a waste of time. I do have to forgo some things given it is secret from his other wife (there is not first second third etc - there are wives, we are co wives I am not lower than the other wife) I was divorced from a Christian husband and came to Islam on my own and then met my husband. Humdulillah May الله bless my husband and my sister and their marriage in this life and the hereafter.

    • @user-st2ck6ho5h
      @user-st2ck6ho5h 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      He took advantage of you himself, he didn’t save you, you will realise that one day, ur selfish too for doing that to another woman, you could have found another husband.

    • @nami20622
      @nami20622 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      “do I like sharing my husband” mate you are the second wife 😂 stop acting like he forcefully married you, you knew that he had another wife and now you are trying to act like the jealous one! Subhanallah

  • @BruvahSulaiman
    @BruvahSulaiman ปีที่แล้ว +329

    You will be judged on your intentions. Your intentions are not defined by what you claim aloud. They are defined by what you actually seek within your heart.
    No ruling in Islam is given for you to take as a green light to do what you desire just because you desire it. Are you allowed to drink water? Obviously, yes. But let's say you are standing next to a thirsty orphan while you are holding a jug of water. You yourself are not thirsty. You notice that the orphan is thirsty but you do not give any water to the orphan. Instead, you drink your water and walk away.
    There are Muslims who think they would be spared punishment for denying water on the basis that drinking their own water is not haram. But that isn't how it works. You will be asked on the day of judgement about why you withheld the water from the orphan. As well you will be asked about why you took a second wife and why you hid her from your first. It being halal is not a reason why. It is only a justification. You will be asked about your intention in doing so.

    • @theBakinNoob
      @theBakinNoob ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Beautiful comment barakAllahu feek

    • @rehemachan3270
      @rehemachan3270 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      Well written comment mashallah ❤

    • @aarfeenanees9147
      @aarfeenanees9147 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      And hijab precisely said that. He gave an example of sugar. Sugar in and of itself is halal to eat but for a diabetic person it might be harmful enough to be declared haram for them.
      Likewise, getting a secret second wife isn't prohibited in the religion of Islam, but we need to look into the outcome of implementing this ruling. And taking this into consideration, Hijab adviced against a secret second wife. And i personally do agree with him. It's very likely to lead to unequal treatment of both wives to maintain the secret.

    • @AC-iw5mv
      @AC-iw5mv ปีที่แล้ว +3

      MashaAllah subhanallah! Thank you for your insight

    • @lordsneed9418
      @lordsneed9418 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      If you had said this on the panel I get the feeling that Ali Dawah and Muhammad Hijab would have accused you of speaking from emotions.

  • @mursalr.2335
    @mursalr.2335 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Islam allowed polygamy but also it is extremely hard to meet the condition of being fair to all wives. If you end up being unfair, you are resurrected with a paralyzed half. Let that sink in before you get a second wife brothers.

    • @naimam8212
      @naimam8212 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      They don’t even consider this threat bc they think with their you know what the moment they hear a possibility of having multiple women.

    • @mursalr.2335
      @mursalr.2335 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@SamirSiraj8542 it’s not about being practicing or not. It’s the practical things. Women have a lot of emotional needs and require a lot of attention when they go through pregnancy etc. In this day and age, it’s already so hard to work and spend time with your wife and children. Unknowingly, a man might end up being unjust. And there were Sahaba who feared this 1400 years ago. Allah made this permissible but the men should consider all factors.

    • @mursalr.2335
      @mursalr.2335 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@SamirSiraj8542 Yes, you are right in a way. But I’m sure you have other qualities like empathy and perhaps you are knowledgeable about women’s psychology. But trust me, most men have no idea how to handle even one wife, let alone 2 or 4.

  • @fazalshaikhre
    @fazalshaikhre หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    as a muslim man who loves the idea of having more than 1 wife, I do not think it's okay to just go marry another woman without even discussing with your current wife, that's just very messed up. imagine if your father brought along another woman home and said she's also your mother. wtf? these "men" should have some shame.

    • @nova5stars729
      @nova5stars729 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

      No, it's not against the Sunnah so it's completely okay

    • @samisnowman2931
      @samisnowman2931 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@nova5stars729 you know that men are tested in their rights? meaning that just because ur allowed to have more than 1 doesn’t mean u have the right? if ur motived are not of the sunnah it would end up in a disaster anyways but it needs wisdom to actually understand that men are TESTED in their rights. and if it causes fitna between u and ur wife, fine do it. but then don’t cry if u bear witness in front of allah for causing fitna between u and ur wife

  • @amienaadams380
    @amienaadams380 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Shukran for highlighting the mental cause. May Allah heal them and protect our learned Imams.

  • @Oreacts1
    @Oreacts1 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Props to these brothers and sisters for addressing such a touchy subject in this manner. Mashallah

  • @amala5099
    @amala5099 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    Just because something is permissible, doesn’t mean it’s recommended. People really need to learn the difference. I don’t see enough people making that distinction

    • @Dukeyunuz
      @Dukeyunuz ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Polygyny was literally recommended by the Quran

    • @muhammadislam4640
      @muhammadislam4640 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Only if you can’t fulfil the rights of both wives equally. If you can do that then there is nothing to suggest that it is disliked or not recommended.

    • @amala5099
      @amala5099 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@Dukeyunuz where’s your evidence to suggest that it is recommended? There are multiple verses in the Quran that tell us how polygamy was born out of a need i.e. to support widows, spread the teachings of Islam etc. Allah swt also tells us how it is impossible to love all wives the same and so it is even more incumbent on the man to ensure he marries multiple wives for good reason as opposed to just pleasure.

    • @Dukeyunuz
      @Dukeyunuz ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@amala5099 I’m really sorry but who is your exegete, these are mostly add ons by western media to cater for western audience to make a case for polygyny. And just so you know pleasure is just as important a reason for polygyny as any so if one isn’t satisfied with his wife then he should just commit zina?

    • @Dukeyunuz
      @Dukeyunuz ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@amala5099 there’s nothing about loving equal, the prophet pbuh did not love all his wives equal unless if you haven’t heard of the Hadith where he clearly mentioned loving Aisha more than anyone else in the world the requirements is fair treatment, so reread your fiqh sister!

  • @chasingbagzz8454
    @chasingbagzz8454 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Im so thankful for this i was able to understand men a little better and i have never been able to wrap my head around second wives, though i get it more and am more willing to understand.

  • @aishailyas5702
    @aishailyas5702 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Will gladly remain unmarried. Would rather do that than to allow someone to ruin my whole god damn life. Period.

    • @shabs2134
      @shabs2134 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      May I ask you, why would you remain a part of a religion which degrades women in such a way?

    • @riribash8854
      @riribash8854 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@shabs2134 neither polygamy nor monogamy are inherently immoral. How one goes about them can then make it immoral. They’re arguing lying is permissible under these circumstances: it is not, which is why they have no evidence to back up their claim. Just useless emotional opinions. Hence the way they’re advocating polygamy is immoral. Not to mention this whole series is haram the way they’re free mixing and causing needless argumentation.

    • @shabs2134
      @shabs2134 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@riribash8854 Polygamy is inherently immoral. Only monogamy is moral, marriage between one man and one woman as Jesus Christ instructed. Polygamy is always immoral because a man is degrading his wife by having sex with another. In most of the world, this is called being unfaithful. In the Christian religion, no woman is allowed to be a cuckqueen as they are told to endure under Islam.
      If a Muslim man wants to take on extra wives, he doesn't even need to tell his wife. He can do it as easily as someone who might want to order some fast food. Because this is his Islamic right. Do you know more than the scholars of Islam?

  • @adamlondon7285
    @adamlondon7285 ปีที่แล้ว +191

    Definitely need a part 2.
    And need MH on it to keep with Quran/sunnah and not go round circles debating emotions/feelings

    • @bogumilaskowron2680
      @bogumilaskowron2680 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Who is MH? Is he scholar or just some man without wisdom who dare give advise others?

    • @bigsteve1894
      @bigsteve1894 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@bogumilaskowron2680Mohammed Hijab. ( The guy sat next to Ali )

    • @profs2981
      @profs2981 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@bogumilaskowron2680 what wisdom you have? Clown

    • @abumusab7060
      @abumusab7060 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      So your understanding is that the whole set-up of men sitting with other women discussing these matters is in accordance with the Qur'an and Sunnah?

    • @profs2981
      @profs2981 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@abumusab7060 the men are sitting separate to the women and the women are covered, and they’re talking about a purposeful topic, bring me a Hadith or verse from the Quran that forbids this if you’re so righteous

  • @afraas8637
    @afraas8637 ปีที่แล้ว +291

    You know it's not right when it has to be kept a secret . The least you can do in a marriage is to be transparent, good or bad

    • @CatGuy969
      @CatGuy969 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      You cannot say something is not right, when Islamically it is okay.

    • @maryam_4437
      @maryam_4437 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      @@CatGuy969 just because it’s permissible doesn’t mean you have to do it

    • @CatGuy969
      @CatGuy969 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@maryam_4437 that's got nothing to do with what i said

    • @afraas8637
      @afraas8637 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      ​@@CatGuy969 "And confound not truth with falsehood nor hide the truth knowingly . " Qur'an (2:43)

    • @Therebelliousprince001
      @Therebelliousprince001 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      So it's wrong? Bring your evidence from the Quran and the Sunnah.

  • @caitlin8628
    @caitlin8628 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    If men are to treat all their wives as fairly as possible, then why is it okay for him to lie and hide his other marriage and keep secrets while his second may know all about his first marriage and make the choice of her becoming a polygamist wife?

  • @1sareta
    @1sareta 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    It’s not obligatory to tell fist wife about second. Then don’t ask a woman to take care of ur old mother when she needs it. It’s not obligation on her either. If u remove love and respect from islam this is what happens

  • @firdvs_film
    @firdvs_film ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Best episode so far. Great choice of panellist. Nice contributions by the team backstage. Definitely need a PART 2 with the SAME PANEL. Barakallahu feekum.

  • @bintabdulrasheed3151
    @bintabdulrasheed3151 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    When a sister speaks about what is good for a woman it is seen as feminism ,
    Please grow up

    • @TheIgnorantJahil
      @TheIgnorantJahil 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Didn't Allah allow polygny? Are you saying Allah permits what is bad for people?

  • @sk3440
    @sk3440 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Marrying a second wife should be done with extreme caution because if he can't do justice between the wives the punishment for him is severe. So I hope these brothers are thinking about that before they take this step.
    Anyway who can afford to have 2 wives. Not normal people.

    • @fatemad4012
      @fatemad4012 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      They think about their se xual desires they don't care about punishment how do you know they are actuall Muslim and not atheists who taking advantage of Islam?

    • @kitty5872
      @kitty5872 หลายเดือนก่อน

      There are some crazy selfish men who thinks they can marry four wives and put them in one small house, to be stuck there fighting all day with too many children , no peace or privacy, but just putting them under one roof is sufficent and providing barely basic food and clothing. To them that’s fair.

    • @sk3440
      @sk3440 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@kitty5872 May Allah guide them
      They need to fear Allah. And any woman who is in that situation should get out of the marriage. She has good reasons to.

  • @shafiindana-kudu9771
    @shafiindana-kudu9771 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The discussion got more intenese towards the end and i just wished it carried on and never ended Kudos to everyone and Barakallahu fikum.

  • @celia7288
    @celia7288 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I want part 2 I have learned so much in this episode

  • @muslimninja9017
    @muslimninja9017 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    Very informative video brother Ali❤ I really appreciate your determination of establishing the Masjid, may Allah(SWT) reward you greatly❤

  • @lishabuso4930
    @lishabuso4930 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Adultery exists in islam, but cheating does not exist in Islam because cheating is defined as keeping secret an intimate relationship with another woman from your wife knowing the truth. Men can secretly sleep with a second woman(just make a halal excuse of declaring marriage, no need to marry slave woman though). It is halal for men to keep secret that he has slept with another woman. In reality, the truth is that it is cheating, but in Islam, they don't call this cheating. The first wife doesn't know about her husband being in bed with another woman, leading to sexually transmitted diseases. This happened to my friend. Also, when discussing the inheritance after the father passes away, with all the children from multiple wives, there are issues determining the real children which causes many problems and lack of family peace. This is not the way of love of Jesus. Jesus has new commandment of love. "do unto others as you would want them do unto you" Jesus is the final judge at end times.

  • @aminathdhauha2042
    @aminathdhauha2042 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Every woman who speaks her mind is NOT a feminist. ☝🏽 Be more considerate before you throw labels at us please. I am seeing men be disrespectful to us for absolutely no reason. It’s not okay. Even in this debate Ali Dawah keeps throwing the feminist label at women. We all believe men can be in polygamous marriage. It’s sunnah. We KNOW and accept that. But a woman can decide if she wishes to be part of polygamy or not. Like the man can choose, the woman can also choose! We are simply adhering to our own rights given to us in Islam, and we certainly are not feminists for doing so! ☝🏽

    • @kinglaw1882
      @kinglaw1882 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Can you show when ALLAH said that a woman can choose?

    • @TheIgnorantJahil
      @TheIgnorantJahil 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      If you're speaking your mind about a religious matter then you're a fool, nothing more and nothing less

  • @HSBS2402
    @HSBS2402 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I'm.. confused.
    Here is what I agree with;
    Polygamy is part of Islam ✅
    You don't need permission from your first wife ✅
    The nikkah is not a secret ✅
    Yes men are by nature polygamous ✅
    If men were given the option they would have multiple wives✅
    What I don't understand is that, when the tafaseer was used as an example in relation to the Prophet Sallaahu alayhi wassalam and Mariya Kipti, is this- that Mariya Kipti was a bondswomen, she was not a wife. The Prophet Sallaahu alayhi wassalam bedding her, was permissible for him because in that time bedding the women in your 'right hand possessions' (bondswomen) was acceptable, it was permissable. No such context exists now for muslim men to implement on.
    The example is entirely invalid because Mariya Kipti was not a wife. And the entire discussion is regarding marriage. The Prophet Sallaahu alayhiwassalam did not hide a secret marriage from his other wives. The reason for hiding this intimacy could be entirely for a seperate reason (i.e the known jealousy/gheerah of the mothers of the believers) - and Allaah knows best.
    Even then the Ummaahatul mu'mineen were given an option to stay in marriage to the Prophet or to be left honourably because they UNDERSTOOD that all the marriages of the Prophet Sallaahu alayhiwasalam were done for specific reasons (i.e strengthening ties of tribes or breaking the cultural norms when he was married to Zaynab radhiAllaahu anha) and yet Allaah acknowledged their gheerah too, that maybe for some it might get too difficult to accept polygamy. But they chose Allaah, His Messenger and the Akhirah, we know this as stated in the Qur'an.
    Its even more important to say that the Prophet Sallaahu alayhi wassalam was married to 1 women for 25 years! ONE. From when he was 25 years old Up until her death, when the Prophet Sallaahu alayhi wassalam was 50 (this is now 10 YEARS into prophethood) and then the marriages were ordained for the Prophet Sallaahu alayhiwassalam in the remaining 10 years or so of his life as he remained single for a while after the death of Khadijah RadhiAllaahu anha (approx 3 years?)
    There is even the verse in the Qur'an that tells the Prophet Sallaahu alayhiwassalam where there are no more marriages for him after the ones he'd married.
    Where in the seerah do we find any explanation of what brothers try to justify today?
    Yes in fiqh/islamic jurisprudence these rulings are 'available', because Islamic jurisprudence deals with just that, every possible scenario, but they are 'options' not grounded rulings.. yes they are part of Islaam but ethically and morally men have an obligation towards women too.
    Where did the Prophet Sallaahu alayhiwassalam or any sahaba HIDE a MARRIAGE from their wives? Not the sexual relations with bondswomen like the examples of Ali RadhiAllaahu anhu or the Mariya Kipti ones, but WIVES.
    It's also important to understand that there were no binding obligations to bondswomen. But to wives there ARE binding obligations, the nikkah is a contract, a responsibility before Allaah and ofcourse all the other responsibilities that spouses have towards each other.
    That's what really got to me that by the end of the 47 minutes I've listened to so far, marriage, which is so sacred, so beautiful, was watered down to just about sexual intimacy.
    Where is the Rahmah, muwaddah and sakinah, the purposes of marriage..
    Anyway. Allaah knows best.

    • @itsrose2062
      @itsrose2062 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Agreed!!!👏👏👏👏

    • @nyla3668
      @nyla3668 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      beautiful, salient point ما شاء الله

  • @hamsta891
    @hamsta891 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    Dealing with one wife is difficult enough let alone more than one 😂 the brothers are getting confused with lust and marriage

    • @akjustice
      @akjustice 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      this is the evidence that it's not just lust, he has too take care of them and be just with everything, so stop shaming other men.

    • @riribash8854
      @riribash8854 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@akjustice 🎉 LOL you’re taking Islamic knowledge from a man who’s created a series filled with free mixing, tabarujj and needless argumentation from both sides who are all deficient in enough Islamic knowledge to answer the question competently. Stop watching this fitnah promoting nonsense and find a classically trained person of knowledge to learn from. Shame on all of us for even being here.

    • @hamsta891
      @hamsta891 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@akjustice it sounds ok in the head, but in reality it’s different

    • @syedharis1906
      @syedharis1906 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Why we marry? To fulfil sexual needs and prevent ourselves from zinnah... So yeah, marrying for sake of sexual needs is actually appreciated bro... Stop being a simp

  • @muslimgirl5269
    @muslimgirl5269 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    what’s especially sad is many people believe that getting more then one wife is for pleasure or solely about intimacy, but it’s not mentioned once in any hadith that men are told to marry for benefit of pleasure, the prophet had 11 wifes, for pleasure ? no because to spread islam, some were divorced or widows.
    now in our time we believe it’s because of the men’s desire, no if your willing to damage your healthy marriage and family with your first wife because of your desires which your wife can fulfill then there is something seriously wrong with you. may Allah protect us and give us a good husband with common sense . Ameen

  • @cindyshariff2667
    @cindyshariff2667 ปีที่แล้ว +116

    NB- As a teacher in the community please note and be mindful of these discussions and whom can access them. A genuine fear is beginning to rise in young females of marriageable age because of this topic. And many are turning away from marriage because they are SCARED! This is not a joke and I am not exaggerating. It is happening right now. When feelings are disregarded, you alienate so many women especially the young and they feel like commodities rather than human beings. If Allah displays feelings of compassion and love and mercy and kindness and can get angry and so on, why therefore do feelings not matter? I read a comment in a similar chat along the lines of this: “Get wives first for your fathers and tell your mothers to suppress her feelings and get on with it, get wives for your brother in laws first and tell your sisters to be quiet, shut up and put up. Then think of more wives.” If it pains you for the sake of your mother then is this really fair? Is this really the Islam Allah sent? Is this really the Islam we are sharing to the whole world??!
    Shouldn’t it be, those that can, do and those that can’t, refrain? Isn’t that the actual rule? Not everyone can do this! It is not a set standard for everyone so why push it to be inclusive of every single Muslim? Some can, some can’t. Alhumdulilah for both.
    (It’s funny how the Sunnah is setting a standard in the same category with things that are Fardh like war…mmm)

    • @cynops3885
      @cynops3885 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Instead of hiding the teachings, why not promulgate them for honesty?
      If you examine Islam with critical thinking, you will quickly realize it is mechanism for rationalizing male instincts within religious framework. (For example, the marriage issues, the idea of heaven as a male paradise (many hoor al ayn and wine), in addition to sanctioning of religious war and the slavery.

    • @alphauno6614
      @alphauno6614 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Can I ask you a question Cindy? If there was a town with 100 single men and 300 single women, how do you recommend all of them get married? No one is willing to leave town or come to town either.

    • @user-ko9tc1go3h
      @user-ko9tc1go3h ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@alphauno6614
      That’s a hypothetical that won’t happen. The ratio of male to female in the word is equal. However, there are slightly more males.
      I can turn this on you and reverse it. How about a town with 100 women and 300 men? No one is willing to leave and no one is permitted to enter the town.
      That’s an absurd hypothetical and won’t happen ever.

    • @alphauno6614
      @alphauno6614 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@user-ko9tc1go3h Great comment! Islam is a religion for all time and places. If men and women of a particular town are equal then they will engage in only monogamy. However, imagine if some of the men pass away due to their tough conditions, who will look after the women then? Even in this situation, polygyny is a useful tool to protect the well-being of women.
      Regarding your unlikely scenario, men will have to be patient and wait until the new generation is born and grows up and they can marry them. Women can’t do this because by then their fertile years would be over but men can. Also the men don’t require the same level of safeguards that women need.

    • @user-ko9tc1go3h
      @user-ko9tc1go3h ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@alphauno6614
      You’re missing the point. In the hypothetical we both assumed there won’t be anyone leaving or entering the town. So does that mean that the women should engage in polyandry?
      Disease affects women as well. Maybe more women die off from the disease that the men do. Would polyandry be ok in this case?
      You changed the hypothetical to suit your ideals. You first made a condition that no one would be entering or leaving the town, but when I reversed your hypothetical, now this condition goes away? It doesn’t work like that. You either admit that this doesn’t prove a point or that polyandry would be ok under these circumstances.
      I agree monogamous relationship are most likely to be beneficial since the ratio of men to women are equal, slightly favoring the males though.
      Regardless, I have no problem with polygyny or polygamy, when all parties consent.
      The issue is when it’s done dishonesty and without the approval of their spouse.
      Edit: reading your comment once more, you said that the older generation will compensate by marrying the upcoming generation. That simply would not work since the ratio of the genders will stay constant. If the older males take the younger females, the younger males would be left alone and we’re back at the same issue.

  • @bilalregan19821
    @bilalregan19821 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    Bro can't even get one wife into today's society let alone a second wife.

    • @afroabe520
      @afroabe520 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      😂😂😂

    • @zua240
      @zua240 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      100%

    • @Trueneutron
      @Trueneutron หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      😂true

  • @isabellopes890
    @isabellopes890 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Just the fact he is hiding something from his wife, it means he is not correct in the God’s eyes.

    • @TheIgnorantJahil
      @TheIgnorantJahil 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      You have a verse for this or you're giving an opinion on religious matters without religious references?

  • @bilalissever609
    @bilalissever609 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is the most comprehensive, understandable, well-presented historical spy site overview I have heard from any online agency. I have subscribed to and shared your channel with friends around the world. Whoever created *usespy online* that particular spy site deserves the highest of journalistic accolades. Bravo!

  • @jayj3489
    @jayj3489 ปีที่แล้ว +175

    A lot of people ain’t ready for this convo, looks like it’s gonna be a good episode Allahumma Barik. May Allah bless everyone on the panel with guidance and steadfastness.
    Update: Fantastic episode, highlight was Hijab reminding everyone that we are muslim first and our opinions come from the Quran and Sunnah only.

    • @esthellakomerl8084
      @esthellakomerl8084 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      This young generation are very into this type of conversation. My generation, and my parents generation were not interested in polygamy - they were just trying to make ends meet. I've seen a few families where the husband took another wife, and it was for the better, and practical purposes.

    • @oumy7
      @oumy7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@esthellakomerl8084 I think the same thing, the generation of our parents was not like that, even if there were some polygamous families, so when nowadays some claim loud and clear that a man cannot be enough of a single woman , but it was totally wrong, some yes some no

    • @user-we9jc5zf6d
      @user-we9jc5zf6d ปีที่แล้ว

      so can a wife have a second husband?

    • @Marwadear512
      @Marwadear512 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@user-we9jc5zf6d No, there are too many functional issues re: the dads and the unborn child. Also in Islam the man, as the provider and protector, is the head of the household. There can’t be two heads of household. Also if you open it up on both ends then you have one woman who can be married to four men who each can be married to four women who each can be married to four men; and suddenly the entire world is one big sex fest. This trods upon many peoples’ rights especially the kids’.
      Muslim women however have the right to divorce and remarry and the dads always have to pay full cost to raise the kids, even while they’re with her.

    • @SonGoku-zr9nc
      @SonGoku-zr9nc ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@user-we9jc5zf6d besides from the prohibition in islam it is not in a womans nature to have multiple husbands women are by nature monogamous

  • @johnnyjoestar7143
    @johnnyjoestar7143 ปีที่แล้ว +158

    I'm terrified to get married. The more I look at how much I'll be sacrificing to him as a woman, literally rearranging my organs to give us children...I cannot imagine a worse thing than having him turn around and marry someone else.
    I don't think our human nature is the end all be all. The element which separates us from animals is that we are able to have second layer decision making skills/free will outside of our basic instincts.
    If a man isn't intelligent enough to have a brain beyond an animal instinct, that is super unattractive to me. It's just not my preference :/
    There are men who love their wives and would rather not be with another woman. Why? Because of emotional connection. I believe the polygamous nature of males is majority sexual, you can't go around falling in love with everyone with the same quality of feeling.
    I really have a hard time believing there will be equal love between all wives, at the end of the day someone will always have less no matter what.
    I also don't want his attention to be divided leading to less overall involvement in me and my children. Seeing how much I'll give, I expect someone to give their all to me also.
    I'll make it clear to any potentials that if he wants multiple wives to look elsewhere. End

    • @j86485
      @j86485 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Men can fall in love with many women and not just based on sexual needs too. Men and women are different biologically, the more you understand the easier it would be for you. Majority of men don't even have multiple wives so you got nothing to worry about. But if you are worried then put a clause in the contract that says you can divorce if he marries another woman. Marriage works when both husband and wife agrees with what they want

    • @shimmer4771
      @shimmer4771 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I understand your point. However, it is impossible for him to love them equally. He has to spend his nights and money fairly on them. The wives don't have to live together if they don't want to. The Prophet peace be upon him said, "Allah has decreed jihad on men and jealousy on women. Whoever bears that with patience seeking the reward will receive it without reckoning." Besides, Allah tells us, "Humans are swayed by greed." This is also our nature. Jealousy and women being greedy is also expected. Just talk to him before getting married.

    • @shimmer4771
      @shimmer4771 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      My mom said it's worth it. She was not in a polygamous marriage, but she said wife and motherhood were beyond worth it.

    • @johnnyjoestar7143
      @johnnyjoestar7143 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@j86485 yeah that’s what I’ll do inshallah, it’s better to get this topic out of the way BEFORE marriage. I also believe women can love multiple times, I think it depends on the person not the gender. I’d prefer someone who wants to focus all their love on one because I’ll also do that for him

    • @Therebelliousprince001
      @Therebelliousprince001 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Don't worry, most mn are monogamous.

  • @jarrillhaadi2630
    @jarrillhaadi2630 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    Is getting another wife just about sex?
    Is intimacy just about sex?
    Is the secrecy about stopping the trials we have to face in life?
    Are we truly critical of ourselves where we can admit insecurities take accountability and change?
    Asking for a friend.

    • @mk-19memelauncher65
      @mk-19memelauncher65 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It's a legitimate reason, condemning that is an innovation .

  • @amally7008
    @amally7008 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    If my husband married another without telling me? I am ready to go to jail… he’s going to meet some angels…

  • @daisyrose-kp4rb
    @daisyrose-kp4rb ปีที่แล้ว +164

    I can't suffer the trauma of my husband marrying a second wife. I think it's better to go through life alone and not get married than deal with all this.

    • @amd.8839
      @amd.8839 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      But it’s halal tho sister what’s wrong he still loves, sisters have to understand if he marries a second he still loves his wife so much

    • @raulrahaman9863
      @raulrahaman9863 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Sorry to hear that, what would be so traumatising about this if you don’t mind me asking?

    • @moonwalkerr87
      @moonwalkerr87 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      If you can keep your chastity staying single, that's fine. What is not okay is starting to look at haram and fantasizing etc, then it's time to get married. Chastity is priority number one.

    • @EeLyos
      @EeLyos ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I understand your feelings, but marriage protects you from doing zina.

    • @MohammadQasim
      @MohammadQasim ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Its her choice to be celibate as long as she can control her desires for the rest of her life

  • @nicole1nct
    @nicole1nct ปีที่แล้ว +124

    For men, find women that will accept you to marry other women and inform her explicitly before marriage. (If you want it)
    For women, find the right man who can treat you right for the rest of your life. Express what you want in a marriage. Your feelings are valid. (If you want it)

    • @snakegaming3325
      @snakegaming3325 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      The problem is in Western society it is almost impossible to find someone that will be fine with a second marriage. In fact, if you were to ask, the overwhelming majority of women would be against second/multiple marriages. That is why men are forced to go down either the route of "secret" marriages or fall into Zina.

    • @quinn9074
      @quinn9074 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      @@snakegaming3325 no one forces them into anything, you have a choice and it’s a choice to sin like that.

    • @shimmer4771
      @shimmer4771 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      @@snakegaming3325 No one forced a man to commit zina. There's always a choice in everything you do.

    • @nicole1nct
      @nicole1nct ปีที่แล้ว +34

      @@snakegaming3325 it's not impossible, but yes it's hard to find. But, if from the first time she has told you that she wants a man who doesn't marry another wife, don't marry her. Respect what she wants, not only ask her to respect what you want. If you don't respect what she wants you're being selfish. She has her own vision about marriage. She has her right to make what she wants come true. Just like men who want to realize the marriage of the second wife.
      And I think there will be only 1% men from the whole population who can be just and fair towards his wives. Are you sure that you're one of those men? Are you sure you don't marry the second wife just to fulfill your lust? You should know when enough is enough.
      Men are complaining about not feeling satisfied with marriage. What about women? They're just told to be patient. Patient with the husband's decision to get another wife, patient with the dissatisfaction.
      What if the wife is also not sexually satisfied and emotionally satisfied in the current marriage, but then the husband wants to marry another woman? Will she still be told to be patient? Or can she ask to get divorce?
      I don't need answers. Answer it by thinking by yourself.

    • @raeedkamran6136
      @raeedkamran6136 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      "Feelings are valid"😂😂😂😂😂that is the most funny thing I've heard today😂,
      Wake up to reality, feelings don't matter, we are in dunya, feelings have no value in dunya,where are you? 😂😂😂

  • @khadijahassan9944
    @khadijahassan9944 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I’m sorry but I’m hearing a lot of excuses for men in this debate. I also hate when “our emotion” is constantly used to make us sound like we’re emotional 24/7. If a girl is on her cycle one day, she will eventually get off in 3-5 days. Talk to her after her cycle. We’re logical thinkers for those who think women are incompetent. We’re also always putting our hormones and needs aside to take care of our family without complaining. We always come last. We make sure our family is happy before we consider our happiness. Also, lying is consider a major sin in Islam regardless of what your lying about. So no excuse to why a men needs to have a second wife in secrets. If your first wife disagrees, divorce is always an option brothers.

  • @lyndseycollier8231
    @lyndseycollier8231 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    So a woman holds down her husband all her life and helps him by raising the kids and taking care of the home so he can focus on his work… and he rewards her by getting a second wife?
    Let’s say even she helps him w his business to be successful and then he goes and gets a second wife ? I think that is horrible and selfish of the man

    • @Lavishlydej
      @Lavishlydej หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It is and they won’t let the women speak long enough to learn why that’s wrong, and maybe even abusive in some cases.

  • @Oalmax
    @Oalmax ปีที่แล้ว +17

    This definitely needed a PART 2 :D Very informative and entertaining.

  • @shelim6
    @shelim6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Great video, so thank you for it! But, the audio needs to be A LOT better for those that are in the back ground as they can barely be heard without breaking of the audio coming through. Insha'Allah better audio for the next video

  • @caitlin8628
    @caitlin8628 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Honestly, we as natural humans have always been to an extent polyamorous, even women can have feelings for more than one man at a time. Men have been given a right to pursue polygamy within in fairness, and us women are not for a reason. I can understand why men would want to hide a second marriage. Not saying it’s okay to do. I work in counseling and I’ve talked to many women who have almost had affairs because they developed feelings for someone else, but obviously they loved their husbands more and they shut it down.

    • @shabs2134
      @shabs2134 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      False. Human's are a pair bonding species. In Islam, men are allowed to marry extra women just for sex.

  • @mannypenny7731
    @mannypenny7731 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Shame on you Ali Dawah and those brothers who participated in this show. Im 100% you would never allow your mum, sister ,wife or your daughters to speak to men like this would you . What kind of dawah is that? For that reason Im going to unsubscribe from your channel. I urge other brothers to do so too