You are wrong at 7:20, Possum. They didn't put any fluorecent light on it. If you look it closely, those are just horribly cutten holes what got lighten from outsie. But it's ok, you probably bored your mind at this point, so you probaly drunk or something and can't pick up every garbage details.
I was over three quarters of the review in and was getting worried Possum would miss the most important thing about this movie, but he didn't. He actually remembered to ask the important question of why did the goblin turn on the stove.
@@medicodyssey lol 😆 my favorite nicknames were doo rag and beavis, cant remember which video its from those names still make me laugh, he gets really angry in that video also ha
To be fair, with those tentacles, this movie could have gotten a lot more weird so we should probably count our lucky stars that Alien x ET is what we got.
@Patriarcus Rex have you seen other 80’s B movies? The more likely explanation is they either ran out of money or the director quit halfway through and someone else took over
I am going to go out on a limb and speculate the production crew had to go through three batches of actors before settling on the best of the worst who would be able to drag the script around. Yet, they had already filmed the parts with the previews two teams on somewhat expensive sets and they just couldn’t afford to start over, so they ended up in the final cut. Just my two cents.
Can someone please explain why the goblin turned on the stove? My theory is the director was going to use it as part of the story, maybe involving an explosion, but then realised they didn't have the budget! And forgot to take it out!
The dumbest twist I've ever seen in a movie is where Anakin Skywalker actually didn't bring balance to the force so they created a new trilogy to smother my childhood dreams I made this comment before the Falcon was mentioned
I always thought the point of the Star Wars movies is that they got the prophecy wrong and it wasn't Anakin that was going to bring balance to the force but actually Luke? Well, until the sequel trilogy screwed that all up.
@@artofalmost9479 They could have gone with a more philosophical or technical way of "balancing the force" but instead they acted as if defeating Palpatine was the only way to do it. "My character balanced the force!" "No! Bring back Palpatine so my character can balance the force!"
So basically the alien is a sentient pink loogie, who first kills a whole crew, the countless people in a space station, then crew members then befriends the survivors and they are sad when it dies. Is this supposed to be an "Alien" knockoff with a dash "E.T." and a pinch of "the Blob".
I was half-expecting your M. Night Shyamalan caricature from the Last Airbender review of yours to suddenly show up in this video and say something like, "But Possum, it was a twist, and you never expected it! That's what makes it good!"
This is the one I always saw at the local video rental store and wanted to rent b/c of the cover with the 'eye' and the spaceship on it. Never quite got to it though. Back then you rented a lot of sci-fi/horror based on the cover art.
It seems like a decent amout of bad books/movies/video games have nice covers while the good shit has crappy covers Even Lord of the Rings for instance. I'm sure others love it, but this whole "collage of all the important characters" thing is just really boring
@@DrDolan2000yupp just had this conversation with my friend. All movie posters are exactly the same these days. Main character up front big if there's a co star as big as the main they are the second biggest on the side either looking at the camera or off into space. Then the rest lol bit some movies have like every character you see in the movie on the cover. It's like well so much for surprises in who plays what and what the good or bad guy will look like.
This movie looks like the kind of schlock-fest me, my brother, and my dad would watch and laugh at because of how bad it was when I was a kid. Ah the memories.
I wonder if he'll ever see this video. He has a good sense of humour, so I bet he'd get a kick out of it! Like when he watched the Freedom Toons cartoon with him in it.
@@genericname2747 I'm not very good at telling tone through text but I'm getting a weird feeling that you might be being sarcastic. I don't mean to be rude and I hope I'm not annoying you
I went to university film school with Eric Woster, the Producer/Co-writer of this movie. He was an unusual and highly motivated character. I give him credit for simply making a feature film, despite its questionable quality. I met with him a few years after the movie was released and he asked me to read his script for a new project. He showed me a home-made steady-cam rig he was building from wood and surgical tubing. He died a couple years later of a heart attack (?) at age 33.
Oh God, that movie. Saw it as a child in a holiday visiting my family in croatia. My cousin rented it and I just saw the first half. I was so scared that I had nightmares from it. Years later, I saw the rest, and it was just a complete "WTF"- moment. If I saw it as a child completely, I most likely would not have been so scared back then.
Wow that ending. So if this thing can talk, why did it never try to communicate during its killing sprees? And it killed the engineer, who never tried attacking, as well as the original ship's crew who found it, and then blew up a whole station full of people. There is no way that was all self defense... This is about as dumb as that Trek episode where Kirk and co just forgives the giant lava slugs for killing all those miners.
For a minute I thought that the character Adrian was played by Barbara Bach, but yeah, I was completely wrong. Actress Faye Bolt, and apparently this is the only film she's ever been in.
He killed the first woman because she hit him with a wrench ... I think. The scene is so badly edited she could just as likely be pounding on a stubborn valve and the noise annoyed Gar into killing her.
The humans bad, but psychopathic murderer good angle is the sort of story I'd expect these days, but it just goes to show that film makers have always been morons!
The last video my dad watched of yours was the first video I saw wich was suburban sasquatch. My dad loved your channel an your vids will always help remind me of him.
"I'm sorry I maliciously turned all of your friends into mummified husks and left there corpses littered around the ship. For some reason, I thought all humans were bad, because it's a common movie trope for a species newly introduced to humanity to see them as barbaric neanderthals. Even though they showed no hostility to me at the beginning of the film and the first one of your friend I slaughtered. I was just doing cute/disgusting blob monster things." "It's okay murderous blob alien. Even though you fucking ended them and consumed something from them as thermodynamics would prove through your growth. I'm sure they tasted delicious. We're all friends now."
This is one of my favorite reviews you have done, it is hilarious! I think the reason it didn't get many views is because its not a popular movie, but the review is just golden!
8:51 Have you heard of the retirement cliche? They announce they will get a break, or retire the next day, but get killed off before that ever happens.
When the alien explained to the two survivors that he was acting in self-defense and that he wanted to be friends, I was expecting them to decide to stay with the alien instead of getting off on the refueling station. That would have made the movie even weirder. Also, does anyone else think this movie is noticeably similar to _Life_ (2017)? Both movies feature a sentient alien creature crawling around a spaceship and picking off the crew members one by one.
You know what...i actually find it kinda endearing. Clearly it had like no budget, but its not bad like birdemic or anything. Its like if i were to make a movie with a bunch of friends at home, id actually hope it would turn out as good as this movie. All on the budget of loose change and a pizza coupon.
This movie is the best ever made. The way it exposed how humans really are is just beautiful. I started crying when I saw this. It has changed my life. I learned a valuable lesson and I am better for it.
There is something wrong with the actions of Mr. Alien. He goes back in time to prevent his own death. When he could have gone back in time to prevent this movie from being made instead. Bad decision.
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I was like 242 ive never been under a 1000 for any of your videos im so happy i know its silly but Why did the Goblin Turn The Stove On?
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Check out Ouija Shark, horrible movie
You are wrong at 7:20, Possum. They didn't put any fluorecent light on it. If you look it closely, those are just horribly cutten holes what got lighten from outsie. But it's ok, you probably bored your mind at this point, so you probaly drunk or something and can't pick up every garbage details.
algo,
I was over three quarters of the review in and was getting worried Possum would miss the most important thing about this movie, but he didn't. He actually remembered to ask the important question of why did the goblin turn on the stove.
I was expecting this question sooner :D :D he got me.
But why did the goblin turn on the stove tho, really makes you wonder.
@@thesaviorofsouls5210 what if he's not a goblin at all but instead a troll?
@@ZER0O9 thats an interesting theory, but you would think a troll would be using a better brand of stove.
To heat up the fireplace poker
Wow the first film to be filmed entirely in SPACE
How appropriate, seeing as it sent all our sides into orbit.
More precisely, inside thrash
That's pretty out of this world
At least what space and the movie's plot had in common was that they are both empty
I highly doubt that. I didn't see Jennifer Lawrence anywhere.
Star Crystal is just a special kind of bad movie. I watched it many times and I always enjoy exposing new victi...I mean viewers to it's insanity.
Over half my problem with watching any bad film is that the majority of them are extremely boring.
My question is usually Possum comes up with nicknames for the horrible actors in the movies he reviews but in this one he calls them their names, wtf?
@@vicvega3614 it means he actually hates it and it literally sucked all the joy from his soul so that he can't even make jokes about what's going on.
@@medicodyssey lol 😆 my favorite nicknames were doo rag and beavis, cant remember which video its from those names still make me laugh, he gets really angry in that video also ha
I think my favorite is the Dragon Ball Z one where he basically comes up with a new name for Piccolo every time he shows up. Lol
They even tried to make the blob monster cute by giving it milky cataract clouded thousand yard stare eyes
Plus with the shape of the head they seem to be trying to make him look like ET.
One of the movie posters gave GAR long pointy needle teeth!
Another is just one weepy-drippy-sleepy-icky eye...lol
that's supposed to be cute?. it looked drugged out of its mind.
"It's programmed to only respond to my voice!"
"What if you got killed?"
"Never thought of that. . ."
Good lord
He was drinking when he programmed it I guess.
From the same people who create spacestations, ladies and gentlemen!
That part had me dying. I honestly kinda dig this movie, it's got some of the weirdest, most extreme tonal whiplash I've ever seen
The movie is riffing itself now.
And how exactly did you make it to space it has to be a set coincidence ms because it wasn't you
To be fair, with those tentacles, this movie could have gotten a lot more weird so we should probably count our lucky stars that Alien x ET is what we got.
Pretty sure what we got is worse than what we could have got….. do NOT look at my search history
if it was made by japan we might have gotten that.
It probably did. But then the studio freaked out and gave a biblical twist to counter it.
@Patriarcus Rex have you seen other 80’s B movies? The more likely explanation is they either ran out of money or the director quit halfway through and someone else took over
Maybe it was just me, but the creature sure took its time wrapping itself around, and creeping up the crack of the lusty blonde babe’s bum
I think I know why the goblin turned on the stove, to bake the twist of this movie
Note: I made this at the beginning of the video
to poke a hot poker up some guy's ass. LOL
Wouldn't the goblin turn on the oven than the stove if it's baking?🤣
@@justinjones5616 yeah that's the point the goblin turned on the stove to bake the twist. It's so raw it's bad
@@justinjones5616 I wish I didn't have to explain the joke though
Yeah, you really really can’t make the alien horribly slaughter a bunch of people just for fighting back and then befriend the rest.
Based movie lol
It's like he suddenly picked a different dialogue tree.
Who among us hasn't killed a few hundred people over a misunderstanding?
Clearly the blob thing is the protagonist here.
It's a better protagonist than quite a few modern "protagonists" :p
Don't say, don't say it, don't say it...
@@sonicfanboy3375 IT
Possum said the funny goblin joke, and the way he did it was much more creative than this movie could ever be, Nice
I am going to go out on a limb and speculate the production crew had to go through three batches of actors before settling on the best of the worst who would be able to drag the script around. Yet, they had already filmed the parts with the previews two teams on somewhat expensive sets and they just couldn’t afford to start over, so they ended up in the final cut. Just my two cents.
The way Possum points at *you,* the person who is staring at the thumbnail, is very inviting to the viewer to join this epic adventure.
He called us socially awkward tho ☹️
More compelling than Uncle Sam.
I feel threatened by the Possum Point
I truly believe that goblin turning on the stove seriously sparked a dominoe of events happening in different films.
It's Kinda cute how they tried with all their Garage Special effects and their two weeks of filming
Garage Special Effects... I love that term.
It broke new ground
@@Klonkus Huh, is that how thin the asphalt was?
@@Zeburaman2005 They hit a pot hole.
Can someone please explain why the goblin turned on the stove?
My theory is the director was going to use it as part of the story, maybe involving an explosion, but then realised they didn't have the budget! And forgot to take it out!
To heat up the fireplace poker to stick it up the fat guys ass, if you look close theres a fireplace poker
He did that to heat up the fireplace poker he stabbed the husband with.
But we still don't know why did hat guy go outside.
The dumbest twist I've ever seen in a movie is where Anakin Skywalker actually didn't bring balance to the force so they created a new trilogy to smother my childhood dreams
I made this comment before the Falcon was mentioned
Anakin actually bring the balance in the force :
Episode 1 start : 50 Jedis for 3 siths
Episode 3 end : 2 Jedis and 2 siths
@@Zekium For a few years before the new trilogy came out. Anakin just sucked really.
@@Zekium Yeah disney changed that. Rey is actually the chosen one, not Anakin, duh.
I always thought the point of the Star Wars movies is that they got the prophecy wrong and it wasn't Anakin that was going to bring balance to the force but actually Luke?
Well, until the sequel trilogy screwed that all up.
@@artofalmost9479 They could have gone with a more philosophical or technical way of "balancing the force" but instead they acted as if defeating Palpatine was the only way to do it.
"My character balanced the force!"
"No! Bring back Palpatine so my character can balance the force!"
"Don't ask questions. Questions makes you alt-right." Quote for the last few years.
I follow the science.
Boss : “ why did come in 20 minutes late this morning?”
Me : “ I don’t know, why did the goblin turn on the stove?”
So basically the alien is a sentient pink loogie, who first kills a whole crew, the countless people in a space station, then crew members then befriends the survivors and they are sad when it dies.
Is this supposed to be an "Alien" knockoff with a dash "E.T." and a pinch of "the Blob".
"He didn't think that through... AND NEITHER DID I!"
Don't think, embrace the dumb!
~Sun Shoe, probably
I was half-expecting your M. Night Shyamalan caricature from the Last Airbender review of yours to suddenly show up in this video and say something like, "But Possum, it was a twist, and you never expected it! That's what makes it good!"
This is the one I always saw at the local video rental store and wanted to rent b/c of the cover with the 'eye' and the spaceship on it. Never quite got to it though. Back then you rented a lot of sci-fi/horror based on the cover art.
It seems like a decent amout of bad books/movies/video games have nice covers while the good shit has crappy covers
Even Lord of the Rings for instance. I'm sure others love it, but this whole "collage of all the important characters" thing is just really boring
@@DrDolan2000yupp just had this conversation with my friend. All movie posters are exactly the same these days. Main character up front big if there's a co star as big as the main they are the second biggest on the side either looking at the camera or off into space. Then the rest lol bit some movies have like every character you see in the movie on the cover. It's like well so much for surprises in who plays what and what the good or bad guy will look like.
This movie looks like the kind of schlock-fest me, my brother, and my dad would watch and laugh at because of how bad it was when I was a kid.
Ah the memories.
Wait you owned this movie in the 80s?
@@vicvega3614 I wasn't even born until after the year 2000. This movie is just the exact kind of movie we would watch when I was a kid.
"when president Ben Shapiro made it illegal to be tall" threw me off my chair from laughter
I wonder if he'll ever see this video. He has a good sense of humour, so I bet he'd get a kick out of it! Like when he watched the Freedom Toons cartoon with him in it.
@@sleepykitty8918 Ben Shapiro is such a nice man who takes jokes very well
@@genericname2747 I'm not very good at telling tone through text but I'm getting a weird feeling that you might be being sarcastic. I don't mean to be rude and I hope I'm not annoying you
@@sleepykitty8918 Yeah this is a bit of sarcasm. He gets defensive over silly things
@@genericname2747 I'm just glad I actually got the sarcasm :)
7:46 the only smartest thing that was ever said in this entire movie.
Every single time he goes on a "Why" rant I expect "Why did the goblin turn on the stove?"
Everyone asking "why did the goblin turn on the stove?", no one asks if the stove turned on the goblin first.
Filmed entirely in SPACE!
Yeah, the cheapest space they could rent
I went to university film school with Eric Woster, the Producer/Co-writer of this movie. He was an unusual and highly motivated character. I give him credit for simply making a feature film, despite its questionable quality. I met with him a few years after the movie was released and he asked me to read his script for a new project. He showed me a home-made steady-cam rig he was building from wood and surgical tubing. He died a couple years later of a heart attack (?) at age 33.
Wow thats young to die of a heart attack
The most interesting thing about the movie was the red blinky florescent tube prop in the engine room.
I've definitely seen that thing in Star Trek.
@@robertb7293 I know, also on Airplane 2 where Will Shatner made a joke about how it MUST have some purpose!
-One- Two things Possum forgot:
The Refueling platform would have a beacon
Other ships would need the Refueling Platform for emergencies and such
Love you possum ♡ you are great to listen to, you're brutally honest, most reviewers don't really match up in genuinity, keep it up pal ~
so the blob thing took a refueling station and flew away...
so any other ship that counted on that refuiling station to finish it's trip is doomed
Oh God, that movie.
Saw it as a child in a holiday visiting my family in croatia. My cousin rented it and I just saw the first half.
I was so scared that I had nightmares from it.
Years later, I saw the rest, and it was just a complete "WTF"- moment. If I saw it as a child completely, I most likely would not have been so scared back then.
18:08 Possum just summarised the entire message of Avatar the simp blender.
Wow that ending. So if this thing can talk, why did it never try to communicate during its killing sprees? And it killed the engineer, who never tried attacking, as well as the original ship's crew who found it, and then blew up a whole station full of people. There is no way that was all self defense... This is about as dumb as that Trek episode where Kirk and co just forgives the giant lava slugs for killing all those miners.
Every day I wake up to a new Possum video is a gift.
Why did the goblin turn on the stove is a top tier channel meme
For a minute I thought that the character Adrian was played by Barbara Bach, but yeah, I was completely wrong. Actress Faye Bolt, and apparently this is the only film she's ever been in.
Oof
So bad it made her retire? 😂That's a feat not easily achieved
"what if you got killed?"
"I never thought of that!"
So there's no backup plan at all? Brilliant 🤦
The Possum has returned!
You know it's gonna be bad when they call Olympus Mons a crater in the opening scene
He killed the first woman because she hit him with a wrench ... I think. The scene is so badly edited she could just as likely be pounding on a stubborn valve and the noise annoyed Gar into killing her.
The humans bad, but psychopathic murderer good angle is the sort of story I'd expect these days, but it just goes to show that film makers have always been morons!
The last video my dad watched of yours was the first video I saw wich was suburban sasquatch. My dad loved your channel an your vids will always help remind me of him.
I assume based on your wording he's no longer with you, so I'm sorry for your loss
@@r.j.penfold he passed away last summer. He loved cheesy movies like these
@@jacobjohnson2637 ah, that sucks. But sounds like you had some really good memories with him.
Oh yeah u know the day is good when Possum uploads
"I'm sorry I maliciously turned all of your friends into mummified husks and left there corpses littered around the ship. For some reason, I thought all humans were bad, because it's a common movie trope for a species newly introduced to humanity to see them as barbaric neanderthals. Even though they showed no hostility to me at the beginning of the film and the first one of your friend I slaughtered. I was just doing cute/disgusting blob monster things."
"It's okay murderous blob alien. Even though you fucking ended them and consumed something from them as thermodynamics would prove through your growth. I'm sure they tasted delicious. We're all friends now."
First line of that god-awful song at the end:
"In space with a stranger we do what we believe in...."
I feel uncomfortable.
The stove got turned on to be symbolic of the plot "heating up".
Awesome to see the Goblin make an appearance again
Star Crystal is bad yet it’s an absolute masterpiece
It's so bad, it's good
I'll have you know if pvc pipes can handle me at taco night, they can easily be used to create a space station.
That "some lady" is gorgeous.
Is the bit at the end where they're all friends _not_ supposed to be a joke?
Wild they filmed entirely in space. I wouldn't think they could fit it in the budget but that's seriously impressive
Another goblin reference! Probably the most underrated running gag on the internet.
The joy when I see a new Possum video in my notifications! All the best in 2023, Possum 🍻
Those painted Solo Cups 🤣🤣
I definitely wouldn't want to meet enraged Roger in a dark alley, terrifying.
Star Crystal is one of TH-camr Ramboraph4life's most hated films.
I love how Possum’s house is just an orange void but the basement is normal.
20:09 Based ngl
I work at a opossum asylum.
Technically this was filmed entirely in space, because after all we are all in space if you really think about it
This is one of my favorite reviews you have done, it is hilarious! I think the reason it didn't get many views is because its not a popular movie, but the review is just golden!
The space suits in Red Dwarf are higher quality...and that show had a rather lukewarm TV budget.
And 100% better.
when possum uploads the day is good, and why did the goblin turn on the stove
4:23 ”The Most Important Device in the Universe“ spotted in the background - at least they got that one right😂
Wow, my Dad used to own one of those rolling tool kits! And yeah.....he actually did use it for tools!
Your channel is a gold mine of bad movies to MST3K with friends
If you know Capstone, the pinnacle of entertainment software, this is very similar to Corridor 7
8:51 Have you heard of the retirement cliche? They announce they will get a break, or retire the next day, but get killed off before that ever happens.
I feel like the fact I’ve had two RidX commercials during this means something…
Same! Mid- & post-roll lol
I wonder if Possum is rural, too...
5:42 Did he just take a bite out of the bottle? Man, their rations must be low lol
When the alien explained to the two survivors that he was acting in self-defense and that he wanted to be friends, I was expecting them to decide to stay with the alien instead of getting off on the refueling station. That would have made the movie even weirder. Also, does anyone else think this movie is noticeably similar to _Life_ (2017)? Both movies feature a sentient alien creature crawling around a spaceship and picking off the crew members one by one.
1:26 Well, that's not wrong.
The earth is in space.
You know what...i actually find it kinda endearing. Clearly it had like no budget, but its not bad like birdemic or anything.
Its like if i were to make a movie with a bunch of friends at home, id actually hope it would turn out as good as this movie. All on the budget of loose change and a pizza coupon.
I think you're being too harsh on this movie, considering it was filmed entirely in SPACE
Why does Possum's outro have pretzels and Oktoberfest music? To be honest, I find it pleasant.
I am socially awkward.
Almost got me, when he got close to the alien for a kiss but instead he says f u lol 😂
Frat Bro: "to join Alpha Sigma Sigma, you gotta mix Alien with ET"
Frat Pledge: "bet"
This movie is the best ever made. The way it exposed how humans really are is just beautiful. I started crying when I saw this. It has changed my life. I learned a valuable lesson and I am better for it.
I mean one of the only credits where it said Cameraman and Camerawoman they were ahead of their time!
Here to watch again, just to offset the count glitch. Watch early and often, kids!
''..and vote Republican.''
That was so funny,but also so sad,because you know what kind of people would side with the alien in this film.
Plastic? I could have sworn those helmets looked like paper mache
I honestly thoght he was joking when he said the space station made of PVC pipes ..until I noticed he wasn't joking 🤣
So... If they ripped off both E.T. and Alien, the movie should be called E.Talien, pronounced like italian.
I WON'T turn off adblockers, but i WILL keep watching with premium.
Ngl but i was expecting the possum to stab the alien with a broom or shoot him with a shotgun.
Item 41 on my bucket list is "Figure out why the goblin turned on the stove."
Yup, you succeeded in finding garbage.
Well, in defense of that species who shall not be named, bottled water come in flavors now. They're pretty good.
11:54
"Meteor storm at twelve o'clock"?
There's so much wrong in that sentence, I don't even know where to start...
So many things in this movie remind me of red dwarf but instead of being endearing it just looks bad.
There is something wrong with the actions of Mr. Alien. He goes back in time to prevent his own death. When he could have gone back in time to prevent this movie from being made instead. Bad decision.
The goblin stove is always a good touch 😂
Thanks for the birthday present possum
I see you've dropped a video good sir! My evening shall be a bit more interesting than expected!
When it started reading the bible I really thought the twist was going to be that the monster converts to christianity and repents.
That would be better.
I wonder if there's any movies about that
FIRST - Fell in love with your content about a year ago, please never stop