What Do You Look For In A Partner? | Men's Round Table | A Black Love Series
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.พ. 2021
- This week Brandon asks the men what they are looking for in a partner, going beyond aesthetics, and the value of having someone on your side who can keep it real with you.
Men's Round Table, hosted by Brandon Bryant @Wallstreetpaper, features black men of differing ages and relationship status weighing in on everything love and relationships, from dating apps to commitment and marriage.
Filmed Pre-covid
For more information and articles on this topic visit www.blacklove.com
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I dated a guy in high school who didn’t have a car. This was waaaay before Uber. He would dress up nicely and catch the bus to my house, and we’d take public transportation to the movies, restaurants, etc. And he would always walk me to my door. 💜
That's like a badge of honor? 😂🤣"Dating a guy who doesn't have a car?"
@@ziwer1: Did you not read where I said *high school* ?? Because you completely missed the point. This guy was a gentleman and knew how to treat a girl. Perhaps that’s a foreign concept for you. 🙄
I think your reverie is sweet and I know why you cherish it as a positive memory to this day. It exemplifies something that was not superficial. At a young age the brother showed you that he was respectful and wanted to have a good time with you without an agenda or some lewd behavior poisoning it. So many black men today can’t get out of their own way because they’re souls are stuck in superficiality and carnality.
@@CandaceLeAnne: Exactly. Amen.
@@hereforit2347 A lot of guys in high school had cars. You shouldn’t have been dating no man who doesn’t have a car.
I think I’m in love with DaVinchi (black sweater) 😍😍
Me Too....I just need and older version of him. 😊😍
Can I tell you😍😍
Get in line🤚🏾, lol!!!
It was love at first sight when he popped up on my tv screen this makes me love him more
I don't know who he is but from what he said he definitely out for looks.....
As long as you are your “best self”, prioritize your physical, mental health, and be authentically you. You will find the person who fits with that. That’s what I got from the convo ;)
Definitely!!
So true 👍. I'm always MY best self so sooner rather than later I hope to meet my same.
That last guy was "wow"!! He said some powerful things, soooo important. All of the gentlemen did a great job!!
Agreed.... healing trauma past and present is essential for growth and love
Agreed as well … he may be the first black man I’ve seen in a public forum be able to comprehensively speak of love as a verb. (Give). The sweet euphoria a person can feel when they are being cherished is incredible but it isn’t love. It’s the fruit of love when love is present. That brother’s understanding of the call and charge of a relationship was inspired and oh so healing to hear coming from a black man.
Peace of mind is an attribute that is often overlooked. Not that someone can create it, but someone that respects and cultivate yours. #GameChanger
I don't like the word broken personally. Two parent homes can be just as challenging and produce some of the same issues as single family homes. I've been in relationships with both. Two parents doesn't always equal healthy and single parent doesn't always equal unhealthy. The person I dated with both parents in the household was waaaayyyyyy dysfunctional. There was NO love in that home and unfortunately they were emotionally disconnected along with other issues. I get what he was saying. The family dynamic is important 💯
Totally agree 💯. Society’s need to label everything, especially things that are different/outside the norm is so problematic.
I COMPLETELY agree with your comment, as anyone with common sense should. I'm beyond sick of the labels, stereotypes, assumptions, etc. I will never understand how society(humans) could ever think that is OK/legitimate with BILLIONS of people in the world with BILLIONS of different experiences🙄🤦♀️ BUT just pointing out: You are the one who brought _that_ up..... The man in the video was just speaking on his own personal experience coming from a "broken" home -- but the term "a broken home" can stem from ANY sort of mental, emotional, physical trauma endured as a child/youth being brought up in an unhealthy environment, regardless of the parental figure(s).
❤
@@aprilross5042 AGREED. But in reality, nothing is THAT different/outside the norm... They just like to make it seem that way if your life, upbringing, goals, appearance, etc.etc. do not fit into "the norm" smdh. Read my above comment -- I'm so over it.. lol.
Thank you for this comment not all of this actually have a blueprint for how to make a house a home, and your comment struck a chord on this topic. Dysfunction emotional disconnection are all roadblocks which help keep home from the possibility of being a healthy constructive place.
One does not always equal the other, but there are patterns and trends.
I love these segments. The men's forum tends to be more substantial than the women's forum. I love that the guys are digging deep and sharing. I wish these segments could be longer.
Same sis
I love seeing this, we need more and the opinions were balanced. My husband of 3 yrs married me because, of my personality, he said *you don't have to say you are different you are different* and I'm the first woman to tell him the truth whether he likes it or not, most women are afraid to speak up when they do not like something.
Well..Mr Da'Vinchi, God can control you right to my side. The spirit is willing!🙌🏾
Noooooo...God will steer him to me. Davinchi has us all in the palm of his hand right😊
Y'all😂
😂😂😂
Lol y'all crack me up... He's a cutie tho
That last guy was mature and dropping gems 💎 . Please pass the knowledge onto the Youngbloods 🙏🏿
Amen sis … when I see a black man operating on that level I feel like I’m receiving a gift on Christmas morning. What struck me is that his candor, intuition, and sheer emotional intelligence can only come from a heart and mind that can richly receive and give. Receiving knowledge, insight, feedback, and excellence prunes the soul and strengthens the spirit. Many people think they receive but really they just take and do nothing with what they take but consume it. Many people think they give but really they transact. It’s a give what they think wil be worth what they want to get. I love hearing and learning from men and women who have ascended cultural stumbling blocks to speak from the spirit.
Yes, healing trauma opens up the heart chakra creating cleaner and clearer love pathways.
QUASIM! I FELT all of what he said. I like where he went with the discussion. He sounds like he chose very well and deserves all the goodness that comes with that choice. Wish him very well in his union.
Knowing or getting to know what it is that attracts you in a potential partner, is also knowing and getting to know yourself. It's a journey. That's why I resonate with what the first man at the table said.Using the dating process to get to know and understand each other and then visualize the long term partnership.
Mr. Brian spoke the best in articulating his answer on the topic. It was a tad bit underwhelming with the other responses not sure if it was due to time. I just expected more especially from the married men. Anyway, still good content.
Totally agree ! They should have him on the panel more and devinchi because their perspectives are always on point !
True. I thought the older men were going to school.
Brian you made my heart smile 🙂. You gave a lot of us single women hope. God bless you 🙏
I’m really thankful for these men that can have these open discussions w/o being disrespectful. I wish I could sit down with my man and have these discussions w/o him being defensive about how I feel.
I love these discussions man, keep them coming!!
DaVinchi, missing him on All American 😭
Yaaas😭😭
We need to see more of these discussions. Authentic Blackmen.
So if you close your eyes, the second guy sounds like Taye Diggs... is it just me? Lmao
Omgggg he does!
Beautiful discussion...its great hear what men are thinking. It's a reminder that we're all growing and learning. God bless!
Loved this! Thank you gentlemen 🥰
Come thru Black Love... keep on producing purposeful content. Love this.💕
Good job Brian!
This was good. Love it!!!💕💕💕
I agree, as a young Black Man myself I agree to find some who is right and makes sense to you in every aspect.
Am thoroughly enjoying these videos, very insightful!
I believe I heard all 4 gentlemen alluding to the internal (vs. external) meaning more than anything. They need to be attracted to what can’t be seen at first glance. The actual being and not just the vessel they reside in. How they articulate what that means is relative to who they are internally, but I think we all get it when they say “a good person”. It’s just refreshing to see black men have open and honest discussions 💜💜💜
Capacity to Love that’s a good one!
Great conversation.
The last guy was spot ON!!!!!
A black man who's rich , isn't hung up on looks,puts me first, treats me like a beauty queen, neverending romance, good in bed,gives gifts especially when he does something wrong,has always got your back,fulfills your fantasys and so much more, knows how to make you happy and smile, passionate kisses ever
I love guys that look for relationships before they start looking for what's in your pants! This conversation is wonderful! These mature men are talking about dating and things that cultivate opportunities to get to know you without taking off your clothes!
This was good!
But I look forward in a partner is that someone that I can trust someone that will listen to me and take me serious and not take me for granted.
At 2:07 ... The fact that the words "It Can." After Our country can be better literally just brought me to tears. Thank you because thats exactly how I feel 💜
Well said gentlemen.
Black shirt is definitely a “looks” man. He finds them that look the part of his ideal girl but the qualities and or connection ain’t there. Looks do play a part in attraction to each other but it’s not all. Your attraction can stem from someone’s personality or even by their confidence level. If looks remains at the top finding that other half can be very hard because not all that glitters is gold sometimes our forever is in finding a diamond in the rough. Maybe he should try a dating app it may just work in his favor. 🤷🏾♀️
Definitely!!
This was a great start ! I wish there was a facilitator to help them ...maybe state what they were trying to say, follow up questions, etc. But great start !!
How wonderful to see and hear from spiritual, intelligent, and mature Black men! The USA needs 20 million more of them.
“I don’t care about the aesthetics very much.”
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Blah blah blah!
50lbs later and it’s WAAAY more than “she can’t look terrible.”
I can not wait too see who Da Vinchi going to choose to Date. I really like his values.
Some people have two parent households and don't know what love is. Never seen it. The guy in the middle ❤️❤️❤️❤️ the guy with the black sweatshirt. Stay single. Funny but, doesn't seem ready. The other young guy🦾 salute.
Brian:) oh my goodness well said!
Good episode
I wonder why the man didn’t want to say what his ideal type was. Men shouldn’t feel ashamed to state the type of girl they desire and be real about it.
so that people won’t criticize his choices .I read somewhere a girl was saying he practices colorism . I don’t believe that at all
The last 2 guys answers >>>
Wow, guy with earring outspoke the married ones. You’re right bro 👌🏾
Good content to see, love it!
This all sounds good..
Okay, I see you grown men!!!!!
We need some microphones!🙌🏽 great content though 💥
Say that.. the very last comment 💯
Plus: these men are very attractive!
Love this, this is the fabric of a MAN❤
Give it up for Brian about love as a verb not a feeling 🎉🤗
Da'vinichi 😍😍😍
These discussions are necessary. Brian and to some extent Da'Vinci gave the most clear explanations of what they looked for in a mate. However, this discussion needed producers to intervene and ask the men to be more direct and specific with their answers. If they aren't clear about what they're looking for then their message isn't clear. Good to see the beginning of this conversation though. Thank you.
Seems like many of them need internal clarity 🙏🏿
I agree with the first guy...husbands, get way past the superficial outer core and take the time, make the effort, and deeply care for the woman who is your destiny. Yes, looks and physical appearance matter, but other factors matter more. For all single fellows, everyone has flaws so please do not be so quick to dismiss or bypass a potential mate for you. She definitely won't be a Beyonce replica but she is no less worthy. Don't find yourself mad and in utter regret 😲😟🙁 because another man saw and took the diamond woman you ignored and disregarded. By divine intervention, you will know her when you meet her because it won't be a struggle to connect...you two will simply mesh right off the bat. Take care guys 🙂🙃
@@jayc5756 Totally agree, character and the ability to carry a conversation with each other is key. A woman can look like diamonds and pearls outwardly but look like cubic zirconium inwardly 😂🤣. Seriously though, you're absolutely right...I doubt if any man wants a hollow beauty...I'm sure you and every man across the nation want a woman of substance. She also needs to be kind, supportive, loving, considerate, fun to be around, have a sense of humor, and be able to get along with your family and friends. There's other stuff I know men look for, but these are just a few great qualities she should possess right 👌👍👏?
Well said! 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
We understand abundantly that men are visual. The entire culture caters to superficiality as a result. However, men do themselves a great disservice when they don’t practice becoming attracted to the personality and substance of a woman FIRST. After they have participated in enough dysfunctional relationships, inevitably broken some hearts, made lots of fatherless children, THEN they decide to work the muscle of knowledge and understanding during the practice of mining for personhood. Men who don’t fully study and engage personality and personhood in others become bankrupt by unhappiness. Learn to move past your first inclination to be physical and idealistic. You CAN do it and you will heap blessings on yourself once you choose to.
Just wanted to add … I am soulful and emotionally intelligent FIRST. I spent many a day looking for those qualities in men upfront. Not only did I rarely find those things upfront I became very linear and tunnel visioned about it. What I learned is that men sometimes fear intimacy because engaging in it reveals where they fall short in meeting the genuine needs of a woman. But life is a progressive journey. The men who choose to acknowledge and address the challenge will commit themselves to growing. I learned that even the most emotionally locked down man can have the most genuine soulfulness and emotional balance when he feels comfortable enough to open that up and explore it within himself. I stopped looking for it to show up immediately and in the process I avoided real game players who only mimic what they think women want. I started estimating the whole person of a man and giving men who are committed to growing more grace.
Davinchi 😍😍😍
Are they all married to / into black women? 🤔 I’d love to know
That part Lol
theyre on a series called black love so i would assume the married ones are married to bw
No lol.
Y'all need to create a dating app
Being a Filipina,Im looking always to a men (black men 😊) who can lead the family and relationship.. Love God more than me,,
hey guys, noticing some weird audio/video skips in this video.
I’ve watched 6:21 and I still can’t tell you what they look for😑 🤦🏽♀️
Here is the thing. Don’t focus on what a particular man want because each man will be different. However, focus on what universally every man don’t want out of their women. That is masculinity and being combative. Outside of those two things, just be yourself, smile and be approachable. Everything else will work itself out!
They are looking for a woman who is their definition of attractive, fun, interesting, peaceable and loving.
Ultimately, this definition will vary from man to man. The goal isn’t to become what men in general are looking for, but to become the best version of yourself so that you attract the best person that deserves you. I think that is why even the married men had trouble articulating what it was because it is not a list that every woman can conform to. Once they meet their wives and there is that undeniable connection, they are looking at the total package from her appearance to her talents, quirks and even faults. It’s not something that can be replicated, just an instant knowing that a person with their combination of positive traits and faults is a perfect match for them.
Good energy, peace of mind, and what's attractive to them #InANutshelll
Y'all seen how Davinci is fine!!Lmao🤭
They holding back smh
😊
I think he should keep it real and admit that he likes non black women. He don’t have to lie to us just to get black women to support him.
So what do Men look for in a Woman?? Did anyone actually say what they want?? It's...Hot. They want her to be Hot. Then if she's nice, intelligent and can cook. That's a bonus. 😉